Chapter Text
i.
All it takes to prevent tragedy is a cat.
Preposterous, maybe, but nonetheless true.
Helaena is eight and he freshly seven, tooth faced and smiling. It’s his nameday, and yet he gives the small, black kitten to her. Many people think black cats bring bad luck, she knows it, and she cries over it, despite how Aegon teases her.
When he presents the small kitten to her, she can’t help but fluster and beam. The kitten captures her heart already.
“For you, Helaena,” Jace breathes. “I know how you love animals.”
She pauses. Her mother does not let her associate with her Velaryon cousins often if at all. Something about the word Strong. And Helaena listens to her mother and stays quiet. Books and animals and creatures everyone overlooks is where she finds her comfort. She is but eight and knows this to be true.
He’s panting heavily, like he’s spent hours chasing down the cat. He keeps on looking at her like he can see her. For a moment Helaena is not like the spiders she studies and collects – something hidden, to be shunned by the rest of the world. She is real. She is present.
For a moment, she is even happy.
She cradles the cat to her chest, nudging her head against it as the cat purrs delightedly. Jace loves lemon cake, and so she names the cat Lemon, even though Aegon thinks it’s silly.
“A beautiful name, Princess,” Jace grins, and for the first time in what feels like ages her mouth curves into a smile, the screams of her nightmares forgotten.
Later, when her mother finds out, it takes Helaena crying to stay her from sending Lemon away. Helaena wonders about it, later. Her mother knows not what do with her, and her father is ill most of the time. Aegon thinks her an idiot, a freak, and Helaena knows enough of the world to think that others perhaps think the same.
She thinks of Jace then. He’d been kind then. Patient. He’d given her a present on his nameday. And he’s always nice to the servants and in the yard. He doesn’t ignore her like Aegon does.
Helaena does not know what to make of that.
Animals are easier to deal with than boys.
She takes to studying Jace like she does her animals. Writing down every fact she learns like he’s an entirely new discovery. Something the world has not seen before. A boy brave and kind and strong.
She does not let anyone know, least of all her mother. None would understand. Sometimes she sneaks away from her lessons and watches him in the training yard. Watches as he looks to his father or Ser Harwin Strong for approval as he swings his wooden sword. Watches as Ser Criston ignores him in favour of Aegon or Aemond. But he takes it in stride.
She does all this for research purposes, of course. Categorizes the information she learns like the maesters do on their spiders and histories. He likes lamb more than pork. He favours his left foot when he swings his sword and always looks to the ground before he lies, which is rare. His smile is crooked but nonetheless sweet. Genuine. He’s protective over his little brother and listens to his mother always, even when Aegon teases him for it.
In short, she does not know what to make of him.
The more she learns, the more she wishes to know. She never feels that way about people. Only animals. People are usually too unkind, too harsh, too sad, too bitter. But Jace is not. Her heart feels funny when she looks at him. She dares not raise the issue with her mother, but part of her thinks she must be dying, because she knows not how else to explain it.
And so she watches him.
What she does not realize, however, is that he is watching her back.
“How many legs does that one have?”
Startled, Helaena almost drops her millipede. Lemon is off in the corner, licking his paws. Unlike how he does with Aegon, Lemon does not hiss as Jace approaches.
Helaena turns to look at him. She’s hidden herself away from her Septa and maesters in one of her many hiding spots. How did he find her? What alarms her more, really, are the bruises scattering his face.
“Your face,” she gasps, animal in her hands forgotten.
Jace cracks a bashful smile even as the cut on his lip splits open. Helena is entranced by it.
“It’s nothing,” he assures her, hovering above her, almost as if waiting for her approval for him to sit. She gives him a nod, and he sinks down cross-legged in front of her. “Criston trained us hard today.”
“He seems to train you especially hard,” she blurts out, which is unbecoming. Helaena has the horrible habit of saying things over people would rather not acknowledge. She doesn’t know why it makes people so uncomfortable to see the truth.
But Jace – Jace does not scold her or get angry. He shrugs again, as if Criston’s behaviour is perfectly reasonable. Helaena ignores the pinch in her gut. Criston isn’t anywhere near as harsh on Aegon and her brother’s disposition is infinitely worse than Jace’s.
He directs his attention to the millipede in her hands.
“I’ve always admired how gentle you are with them,” he says. “Others seem to fear them or be sickened by them.”
Helaena casts her gaze towards the floor. “They’re just misunderstood is all.”
He lets out a soft chuckle. “Tell that to Luke – he always wakes me up to kill spiders.”
“They’re not any poisonous spiders in King’s Landing,” she says. “Well, the worst they can give you is a rash. They can’t hurt you.”
“It’s hard to tell when you look at them.”
“Appearances can be deceiving, Jace.”
She meets his gaze and feels her cheeks flush pink. She looks away hastily, carefully transferring the millipede to her other hand. Lemon lets out a meow.
“This one,” she begins tremulously. “Is a girl – she has seven hundred and fifty legs. A rarity. She’s special.”
“Does she have a name?” he asks, resting his chin on his hand as he peers at her, brown hair falling in front of his eyes. Helaena shakes her head. “What about Orange?”
A chuckle escapes her lips, timid but nonetheless hearty. “I don’t think Lemon would be too pleased.” Jace grins at her as they glance at Lemon, who eyes them with a haughty look.
“Thank you,” she tells him. “For giving him to me. I didn’t say so back then.”
Jace’s expression turns soft. “I am glad he has been a good friend to you.”
She gulps. Friend. She supposes the only friends she’s ever really had have been animals. Her dragon. She is seen by the court but she is always alone. Other girls her age find her odd, she knows that, even if her mother tries to hide her from it. She looks at Jace closely. He has his brother, she knows that. They’re as close as can be. He even gets along with Aegon sometimes. But the rest of the court…
It occurs to her that he may be lonely, too.
“Are you hiding too?” she asks. “From the Septas and Maestors?”
He ducks his head. “I suppose.”
Maybe he doesn’t wish for his parents to see him, or Ser Harwin. Ser Harwin is known to be the strongest knight in the seven kingdoms, and he’s always close to Jace and Luke.
“He won’t think less of you, you know,” she comments, gesturing towards his face.
Jace blinks at her with surprise.
“You tried – and Aegon is bigger than you. Ser Harwin will not mind.”
“I never said anything about Ser Harwin,” he snaps.
Her eyes sting as she stares at him. She must look as crestfallen as she feels because he instantly offers her an apology, looking close to tears himself.
“I always say the wrong thing,” she whispers. “I can’t help it, I just do. Everyone hates me because of it.”
She sets the millipede back in its jar, already aching with the loss of her friend. Now, Jace hates her too. He may even try take Lemon away and—
He reaches out and holds her hand. Aegon and Aemond have never done that before. No one has ever held her hand before besides her mother and Septa, and even that is rare.
“I don’t hate you,” he promises. A beat of silence follows. “I want to be your friend, if you’ll let me.”
She looks at him hesitantly. Her mother wouldn’t want her to, she knows that. And yet—
Helaena smiles at him.