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Go On Living | An Akito Hayama Story

Summary:

Akito had liked Sana. He had shown her that he liked her, and she hadn’t reciprocated. That was okay, that was normal with first crushes. Things were better now, she had Kamura.
He was Fuka’s boyfriend now. Sure, they hadn’t gone anywhere without Tsuyoshi and Aya. Sure, all they did was walk home together. Sure, sometimes there were quiet moments where Fuka would look at him, and he knew that she wanted him to kiss her. And sure, he had continually pretended not to notice because his heart wasn’t in it.
Fuka could be kind of a nag. She had really high expectations for herself and how she conducted herself, and those expectations were also leveled at Akito. But still, he would take the nagging over the insane babbling and unhinged arguments.
He spent the rest of the day trying to keep his mind off of the auburn pigtails that were just a few doors down.
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Chapters 28 through 50 of the Kodomo no Omocha Manga from Akito's perspective. Additional scenes and context added to the canon.

Notes:

I have been fighting with a multi-chapter Kodocha fanfiction for close to six months now, and the thing that keeps hanging me up is my struggle to capture Akito’s voice. I decided to write this fic, which will be Akito’s POV for Chapters 28 through 50 (roughly Volumes 6 through 10, for those of you lucky enough to own copies), as a way to practice writing him. Most of the canon is told through Sana’s perspective, but Akito has a lot going on internally during these chapters. I wanted to offer some context and add some scenes to flesh out his side of the story.
There are direct quotes from either the Tokyopop translation (English Adaptation by Sarah Dyer, Translation by Amy Forsyth, Ray Yoshimoto, and more) or from the fan translation (RIP mangareader.net).

Chapter 1: Chapter 28: She's Back

Chapter Text

Akito took his school shoes out of his shoe locker and put away his regular shoes. He recognized the sound of Tsuyoshi behind him, putting away his own shoes.

Aya rounded the corner. “Tsuyoshi-kun!” she called. “Sana-chan is back!”

Akito moved as he usually would, pretending that this news didn’t mean anything to him even though his ears had perked up all the same. As he turned around, he noticed Tsuyoshi squeeze Aya’s hand in warning, giving Akito a sideways glance. Akito rolled his eyes.

“Have you seen Fuka?” Akito asked, to remind Tsuyoshi that he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who was not Sana.

“I think she was already headed toward her homeroom. She said something about having morning cleaning duty.” Aya said.

The three of them walked along the hallway together toward their classroom. And then, he saw her.

Sana and Fuka were high-fiving, and he could hear both of their voices clearly. Each of them were considered loud on their own, but together? They were a disturbance to the peace.

“When did you get back?!” Fuka asked excitedly.

“Partway through summer break.” Sana answered.

“What? Why didn’t you call?” Fuka asked, clearly hurt that Sana hadn’t reached out.

“Well, there was a lot going on…” Sana trailed off, clearly feeling guilty.

God, these girls were easy to read.

Tsuyoshi and Aya hurried ahead of him to Sana.

“It’s really you, Sana-chan!” Tsuyoshi said.

“Tsuyoshi-kun! Aya-chan!” Sana said, turning to them excitedly.

“It’s been a while, Sana-chan!” Aya said.

“Yeah, really.” Sana said, a fake smile plastered on her face. Even if no one else could tell, Akito always knew when she was faking.

“How’ve you been?” Tsuyoshi asked her, but it was no use.

By then, Sana had seen him. Their eyes locked across the crowded hallway. He wasn’t sure what seeing her again was going to be like. Sana’s smile was wavering, and she looked uncharacteristically nervous. Even so, he made his way toward his friends. They were going to have to interact sooner or later. 

“Yo.” Akito said, reaching the group. “You’re alive.”

“Look at how surprised Sana-chan looks!” Aya observed.

“Sure! He grew five inches in four months. I bet his body makes noises in the night!” Tsuyoshi said with a laugh.

“It makes my muscles hurt.” Akito said, rubbing his arm.

“You sound like an old man!” Fuka retorted.

Throughout this conversation, Sana looked like she was at a loss for words. Even as Akito looked to each of his friends as they were talking, his eyes kept gravitating back to her. Finally, he made an attempt to draw her into the conversation.

“Didn’t you bring me a souvenir?” Akito asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

Come on, take the bait.

“Of course I didn’t bring you a souvenir!” Sana exclaimed.

Ha, easy.

 “We were in the middle of nowhere.” She continued, her eyes meeting his with their usual fire.

The first bell rang, indicating to the students in the hallway that it was time for them to go to their homerooms. Akito turned to Fuka.

“Hey Fuka, can I borrow your dictionary?”

“Again? Isn’t it time to start bringing your own??” Fuka chided, pulling the dictionary out of her bag and handing it to him.

“Thanks.” Akito said.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom before class starts!” Sana said loudly, turning to go. She then began a mad dash down the hallway and around the corner. Fuka said something to him, but he didn’t hear it. He was watching Sana run.

Akito waved goodbye to Fuka, then turned around to head toward his own classroom. He could feel Fuka’s eyes on him. He felt anxious and defensive, like Fuka could tell that something had happened between Sana and him.

But nothing actually happened between us. Akito internally corrected himself.

He had liked her, he had showed her that he liked her, and she hadn’t reciprocated. That was okay, that was normal with first crushes. Things were better now, she had Kamura. And he had Fuka.

Fuka was really smart, and a very talented gymnast. She was also really pretty, although Akito didn’t like to think too much about her more than passing resemblance to Sana.

He was Fuka’s boyfriend now. Sure, they hadn’t gone anywhere without Tsuyoshi and Aya. Sure, all they did was walk home together. Sure, sometimes there were quiet moments where Fuka would look at him, and he knew that she wanted him to kiss her. And sure, he had continually pretended not to notice because his heart wasn’t in it.

Fuka could be kind of a nag. She had really high expectations for herself and how she conducted herself, and those expectations were also leveled at Akito. But still, he would take the nagging over the insane babbling and unhinged arguments.

Sana’s such a wacko. It’s better to be over her.

He spent the rest of the day trying to keep his mind off of the auburn pigtails that were just a few doors down from him.