Chapter Text
Thomas wakes up remembering nothing but his name.
He's in a metal cage/box thing, and is freaking out because the thing is moving. He doesn't know what to do or make of the situation. Then it all just stops.
He doesn't know how long he's down there for--he thinks maybe around half an hour--before a set of doors open. Bright light shines down on Thomas, and he shields his eyes because it's too much.
By the time he's used to the light, hands are reaching down and roughly pulling him up. He falls to the ground and is immediately swarmed with negative comments.
"Look at that shank!"
"He won't be good for nothing!"
"Might as well get rid of him now!"
"Throw him in the Slammer!"
"Banish him!"
As Thomas looks around, he notices that the worst comments are coming from this ugly guy with black hair and a messed up nose.
Thomas freaks out and tries to get away from everyone surrounding him, but they grab hold of him, and start dragging him off toward a small, concrete building. He doesn't even bother fighting them, knowing that there's no point.
Thomas hears people saying Slammer, so he guesses that's the name of the building.
The "Slammer" is unlocked and he is literally thrown inside. The door is slammed shut and locked, and everyone leaves, but not before throwing a few more negative comments toward him.
Thomas backs into a corner, brings his knees up to his chest, and tucks his head between his knees, wishing that he was anywhere but here.
How can this be happening? How? Thomas doesn't think he'll ever know. These people don't even know him. And they're already judging him based on his appearance! He will never understand how they work.
And one word is stuck on his mind. "Banishment."
That doesn't sound good, and Thomas doesn't doubt that that is also saying "death."
Thomas wants to cry, but no tears come. So he just sits there, alone, and tries to brace himself for whatever comes next.
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It isn't too long before Thomas hears footsteps coming towards the Slammer. He thinks he can make out two. He inwardly starts to freak out. His heart is pounding, but he forces himself to breathe normally, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of knowing that he is scared to death.
He sees two people through the little window come into view. One is Asian, with extremely dark hair, and the other is tall, with dirty blonde hair. The Blonde one opens the door, and the two new boys enter the Slammer, closing the door behind them.
Thomas curls into a ball, wanting to stay as far away from them as possible. But they only come closer, until they're standing right in front of him. Thomas looks up, his expression full of fear. That fear only growing when the blonde one kneels and puts his hand on Thomas's knee.
"Hey," he says. He's got an accent, Thomas notes. "It's okay, relax. We aren't going to hurt you. Those shanks out there--" He gestures towards outside. "--they want to hurt you. But I don't. And Minho here doesn't want to, either."
Thomas looks up at the Asian boy--now Minho--who is still standing, and the boy nods, kneeling next to his friend.
"We aren't going to hurt you," he says. "We just want to let you know what's going on now, and what's going to happen later."
He waits for Thomas to nod, and Thomas does.
"Okay," Minho says. "This is Newt." He nods towards towards the blonde. "Can you tell us your name?"
"Thomas." Thomas says it so quietly that Minho almost doesn't catch it.
"Thomas?" he asks. Thomas nods. "Okay, Thomas, this is what's happening right now. Those people out there are called Gladers, and they're extremely judgmental. But I think you got that from all those horrible things they were saying to you."
Thomas nods, still a bit scared, but not as scared as before. He thinks he might be able to trust these two. It's only a maybe, but he'll have to see if that "maybe" turns into a "yes."
Newt's the one to speak this time. "There's nothing we can really do about that," he says. "There's only two of us, and around fifty of them. They outnumber us, and they've all voted to send you out into the Maze tonight. It's not an official Banishment--if you survive you can come back--but no one's survived a night in the Maze."
The way Newt says "Maze" makes Thomas shiver. It sounds like the Maze is a terrible, awful, horrific place. And the fact that no one has survived a night in that Maze causes Thomas's fear to spike again. Those people out there want to send him off to his death. They are that judgmental.
"We're going to help you as much as we can," Minho says. "We'll give you some tips on surviving the Maze. But once you get out there, you're on your own. But you have to fight, okay? You have to. You have to prove those shanks wrong."
Thomas looks into Minho's eyes and sees how confident they look. But not confident in himself, but in Thomas. Thomas takes a deep breath and nods. That's when Minho and Newt begin with tips on how to survive that damn Maze.
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Minho and Newt do all they can to help Thomas. And by the end of their time together, Thomas has decided to fully trust them. But then, it's time.
It's time for Thomas to be sent out into the Maze.
Minho and Newt sneak back out of the Slammer about ten minutes before two different guys come in, lift him off the ground, and march him toward the opening in the Maze. Thomas learned from Minho that they're called "Doors."
Everyone is waiting for him. Minho and Newt are standing off to the side, away from the others. He looks at them and they give him tender smiles. Thomas can't bring himself to smile back. They said their goodbyes back at the Slammer, but still, Minho and Newt are his only friends. It hurts.
He's close enough to the Doors now that he sees that messed-up-nose kid smirking near them. He found out that his name was Gally.
He and the two boys stop in front of Gally, and Gally just shakes his head, and says, "You are such a waste."
He yells over to one of the other boys and tells him to get the collar, and that's when Thomas finally speaks. "Wait!" he says.
Everyone, aside from Minho and Newt, is shocked. This is the first time they've heard Thomas actually speak. It gets Gally's attention, though, so it's worth all the shocked stares. "Let me go," Thomas says.
Gally is surprised, but is impressed enough to gesture for the two boys to let Thomas go.
Thomas then walks toward the Doors. He ignores all the staring, and just goes right inside. By the time he gets to the other side, the Doors are starting to close. He turns around and faces everyone, not once looking away until the Doors shut tight, trapping him in the Maze, where he knows he will be meeting his doom.
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The next morning, Newt and Minho are up early to wait by the Doors before anyone else.
"Please let him be alive, please let him be alive," Newt pleads.
Minho takes his hand, gives it a reassuring squeeze, and says, "It'll be okay, Newt."
It does nothing to calm Newt down.
Other boys start showing up to wait. And twenty minutes later, everyone is waiting.
Finally, after another ten minutes, the Doors open. But Thomas is not on the other side.
Newt closes his eyes and hangs his head. He wants to cry. Thomas is gone. He's dead.
Or is he?
"Newt," he hears Minho whisper. "Look."
Newt doesn't want to look, doesn't want to see an empty corridor, but something in him tells him he needs to look, so he does. And what he sees takes his breath away.
Thomas is stumbling down the corridor, looking exhausted, bloody, but alive.
Thomas is alive!
He stumbles into the Maze and almost falls to the ground, but Newt is there to catch him.
Newt holds Thomas is his arms. Thomas is shaking, but relaxes when Newt's warmth surrounds him. He can't believe it. No one can believe it.
Thomas has just survived a night in the Maze.
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Thomas is taken to the Med-jacks where he is bandaged and given food and water. He tries sleeping, but only manages for a few hours before the nightmares become too much.
He decides to walk around the Glade, and stumbles upon a forest. He walks into the forest, he's not sure how far he goes, but it's peaceful, so he sits against one of the trees and takes a look at himself. Arms cut up, legs cut up. But that's not the main thing he notices.
He notices that there are a ton of scars all over him. He sees them on his arms, on his legs, and when he lifts his shirt up, there are even scars on his stomach. And he is also able to count his ribs.
Thomas only wonders where it all came from for two second, before the answers just pops into his head.
Self-harm.
At first, Thomas can't believe it. But then, the more he thinks about it, the more he believes it. He has this weird feeling to hurt himself, and when the other boys--who apparently call themselves "Gladers"--were saying all those nasty things to him, he took in those words in a way that a regular person wouldn't. And the hopelessness he feels? That has to mean something as well.
Thomas thinks back to some of the boys who tried to apologize to him, saying that they were wrong about him, but Thomas refused to accept the apologies. He just can't do that. They made him go through Hell, it's going to take a lot more than some damn apology to make up for that.
Gally made it clear that he will not apologize any time soon. And Thomas doesn't care about that. What Gally said to him before he left him standing there, shocked, is what Thomas cares about.
Gally told him he should have killed himself in the Maze.
And the more Thomas thinks about it, the more he believes he should. It's not like anyone will care. Minho and Newt, they'll get over it. They don't know him enough. Once they find out that Thomas was depressed in his previous life, they'll never want to talk to him again, will never want to be around him. So Thomas makes his decision.
He gets up from the forest ground, takes one last look around him, then heads out of the forest, toward the Maze Doors.
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Minho is making his way back to the Glade after running the Maze all day. He's exhausted. He didn't get much sleep last night--too busy worrying about Thomas--and couldn't concentrate while running--also too busy worrying about Thomas.
Minho makes a right and sees movement on one of the Walls. He looks up and squints, trying to make whatever it is out. And as he gets closer he can see that it's a person climbing the Wall. And as he gets even closer, he can make out who it is.
Thomas.
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Thomas runs through the Maze, and once he thinks he far enough away, looks for a good Wall to climb. When he finally finds one, he grabs hold of one of the vines, tests it to make sure it can take his weight, then starts climbing.
He doesn't know how long he climbs for, but when he pauses to look down from where he is, he figures he's high enough that when he jumps, he won't survive. So he closes his eyes, says goodbye to Minho and Newt in his head, and then lets go of the vines.
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Minho sees Thomas stop to look down from where he is. Minho has figured out what Thomas is trying to do, and sprints faster than ever before, hoping to get to Thomas in time.
Minho is ten feet away from Thomas when he lets go of the vines. Minho pushes himself even harder. He manages to get under Thomas. And two seconds later, Thomas is in Minho's arms. Minho struggles to stay standing with the sudden weight in his arms, but he manages. Then he falls to his knees on the ground.
"Thomas?" he says hesitantly.
Thomas opens his eyes, and what Minho sees, breaks his heart into a million pieces.
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Thomas is falling. And falling. There's nothing stopping him from finishing his task--his task of killing himself. He wants it to be over so bad. He's eager for it to be done and over with. He doesn't want to deal with the thoughts anymore. He doesn't want to deal with the Gladers and their hurtful comments. He just wants to die.
But apparently, that's not going to happen.
Thomas never hits the ground. And that's because of the arms that caught him. Thomas wants to cry. He tasked himself with something that should have been so easy. But he even fails at that.
"Thomas?" he hears. And Thomas knows that voice.
Minho.
Thomas opens his eyes, and he knows there are tears in them. Great. Minho is going to see him cry. Can this day get any worse?
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Minho sees tears in Thomas's eyes, and sadness is written all over his face. Minho doesn't know what Thomas is thinking, but he can tell it's nothing good.
Thomas squeezes his eyes shut, and tears leak out of his eyes. Sobs start to escape him.
Minho doesn't understand it. Why did they have to do this to him? Just why? Minho doesn't understand . . .
Minho is pulled out his thoughts by Thomas speaking. "Please," he says. "Minho, just let me die, please. I don't want to go back there. I don't--"
Sobs take over, and Thomas can no longer speak.
Minho can't believe what he's hearing. But at the same time he can. Thomas doesn't want to go back to the Glade because he's not strong enough to face everyone. At least, not alone. And Thomas believes that he is alone. Which is not true at all. Minho just needs to get Thomas to understand that.
But in the meantime, he tightens his hold on Thomas, and lets him cry on his shoulder, knowing that he needs to get everything out. He needs to let all the pain, anger, and sadness out.
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Thomas tries to plead with Minho, tries to make him understand that he can't take being stuck in that place and stuck with those people. But Minho doesn't listen.
Instead, the hold he has on Thomas is tightened, and Thomas cries on Minho's shoulder. Minho doesn't say anything about it. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all. He just holds Thomas while he cries.
And Thomas does cry. He cries and cries and cries. He lets everything out. And the whole time, Minho is there. Thomas really can't believe it.
Finally, after what seems like forever, Thomas calms down. The tears stop. Thomas is breathing fast and heavily, but that's normal after having a cry like that. Thomas is sure about it.
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Minho knows they need to get back to the Glade, or else they'll be stuck in the Maze for the night. And Minho knows that Thomas won't be able to survive another night. Not in the state he's in.
He says to Thomas, "Thomas, I know you don't want to, but we need to get back to the Glade."
Thomas grows tense. Minho doesn't blame him at all. If he was Thomas right now, he wouldn't want to go back to the Glade either. But they have to go back.
"Thomas, it's going to be okay," he says in a soft voice. "Don't worry. I won't let anyone hurt you. Okay? I promise I'll keep you safe. And so will Newt."
For the first time in a while, Thomas meets Minho's eyes. Minho can see the hesitation, but finally, Thomas nods.
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Thomas doesn't want to return to the Glade, but he doesn't want to get stuck in the Maze overnight again either. So he reluctantly agrees to go back to the Glade with Minho.
Thomas tries to get up, but Minho doesn't let him. Instead, Minho tightens his grip on Thomas, and lifts him up, one arm wrapped around Thomas's shoulders, and the other is under Thomas's knees. Thomas lets out a small sound of surprise, then stutters, "W-what are you doing?"
Minho gives him a small smile and answers, "I'm carrying you. You are in no state of mind or body to be running all the way back to the Glade. You just relax, I'll get us back. Okay?"
Thomas takes a few seconds to agree, and then Minho takes off.
Thomas relaxes in Minho's hold, and starts to grow tired. Finally, his eyes close and he falls into a dreamless sleep.
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Newt is panicking.
He can't find Thomas anywhere. And when he asks around, people say they haven't seen him, and that makes everything worse.
Some say he went into the forest--a.k.a. the Deadheads--but Newt couldn't find him anywhere.
So now he's pacing around one of the Doors to the Maze, waiting for Minho to come back. Newt really needs Minho. He can't deal with this situation on his own.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, Newt sees Minho running down the corridor. But he's not alone.
Newt can see that Minho has someone in his arms, and as Minho gets closer, Newt sees that it's Thomas.
Minho re-enters the Glade and Newt runs up to him. He frantically asks, "What happened? Is he okay? Minho, what happened?!"
Minho tries to calm Newt down. "Newt, calm down," he says. "He's okay. But at the same time, he's not. I'll explain later. Right now, we need to get him out of here."
Newt finally notices how a crowd is gathering around. He looks at Thomas, still asleep in Minho's arms. He brushes Thomas's hair back out of his eyes, and, making up his mind, Newt nods. "Okay, he can sleep with us."
Minho nods as well. "That's the best idea I've heard in a long time. Let's go."
And with that, Minho and Newt head to the Homestead, pushing past questioning Gladers, and carrying a sleeping Thomas.
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Minho carries Thomas up to his and Newt's room, with Newt trailing behind. Their door is closed, but Newt opens it for Minho and they both enter.
It's just a normal size room, not too small, but not too big. It has a bedside table with a lamp on it, and a nice, comfortable bed, big enough for three people.
Newt lifts the covers off of the bed, and Minho gently places Thomas on the bed. Minho gets in the bed as well and Newt joins him, Newt being on Thomas's left, and Minho being on Thomas's right. They're careful not to disturb Thomas. Once they're comfortable, Newt and Minho tug the blankets up to cover Thomas.
But even though they're careful, Thomas still stirs and wakes up. And he looks so confused and upset that both Newt's and Minho's hearts break.
Thomas is finally able to focus on Newt and Minho, and when he figures out who they are, he breaks down into tears again.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he says through his sobs. "I just . . . I didn't . . . I don't . . ."
"Shhh," Newt and Minho shush him.
"It's okay, Tommy," Newt says, a little surprised at how the nickname came so naturally but not that focused on it right now.
"You're safe. I promise you, you're safe," Minho says.
The more they talk to him and reassure him, the more the sobs lessen. And it isn't long before Thomas falls asleep once again.
Once they are sure Thomas is asleep, they stop speaking to him and just send saddened looks to each other.
Newt is the one to break the silence. "Minho," he says. "What happened?"
Minho takes in a deep, shaky breath, and tells Newt about how he saw Thomas climbing the Wall, about how he saw him let go of the vines and how he rushed to catch him before he hit the ground. He tells Newt how he managed to catch him, but Thomas was so upset and so desperate to die. He tells Newt how he managed to convince Thomas to come back to the Glade willingly, and that he carried the poor boy back.
"That's basically where that little story ends," Minho says when he's done explaining. "You saw what happened after that."
Newt has tears in his eyes, and one escapes, but Minho wipes it away with his thumb.
"Newt, it's going to be okay, we're going to fix him." Minho tries to comfort Newt, and it seems like it's working since the tears start to disappear, and a look of determination take their place.
"We will," Newt said. "We will fix him. Even if it takes forever, we're going to help him get better."
Minho nods, a smile tugging at his lips. "We'll have to wait until tomorrow to really talk to him, though."
Newt nods. "I know, but we can wait. Right now, though, I just want to sleep."
Minho agrees, and they both get comfortable. They have their arms wrapped around Thomas, and they both fall asleep pretty fast, hoping that tomorrow will be better.