Chapter Text
If Porchay Kittisawat could describe himself in just one word, it would surely be "unlucky", or who knows, pessimistic. Benz used to say that it was his pessimism that made things such a mess, but who could blame him? Since he was just a little boy, things had never gone so well, starting with the stroller that he asked for as a gift for his brother on every birthday, but never won and when he finally got his wish, the toy seemed to come to life in an innocent way into the park, rolling straight into the river and out of sight seconds later. Now at seventeen things didn't seem any less disappointing than they had that day, on the contrary, teen dramas could be a lot crueler than a lost toy.
Porchay was never an outgoing boy and that made his process of making friends very difficult, when he entered high school he thought things could be different but then discovered that reality could be much wilder than any scene portrayed in "Mean Girls", therefore, he was even grateful for not joining the famous little groups that dominated the school. He hated the mounds that formed in the cafeteria at break time, because that was when things got even worse, as he needed to hear the hellish chatter that seemed to intensify every time a student showed discomfort while watching the football team eating like animals, talking loudly and scattering food everywhere. Of course, none of this bothered him as much as seeing Kim Theerapanyakul in Ploy Sangthong's arms. Because as with all teenage clichés, it's clear that the invisible boy had developed a crush on the team captain and also one of the prettiest boys in school who dated the popular cheerleader and queen bee. Of course, seventeen-year-old Porchay could get into much bigger trouble than a skinned knee.
Khimhant Thererapanyakul was an amazing person, although his title automatically gave him the image of an unattainable hottie, the boy proved to be the complete opposite of what stereotypes asked him to be. He was helpful, didn't bully anyone, was also smart and didn't mind being seen with the girls and boys in the band, the one that played in every game and which Porchay was a part of when he was in his freshman year. And well, that's exactly where they met. Chay besides being unlucky, pessimistic and excluded, was a real clumsy and while walking distracted with his saxophone, he managed to bump into Kim who was also walking distracted from another direction. Needless to say, another cliché comes in here, right? It was at the moment when Kim helped him up and asked if he was all right with the most beautiful smile in the world, dressed in his fantastic football uniform soiled with dirt and grass, that the saxophonist fell under his charms and fell in love.
Since then Chay had been watching him from afar, he didn't have the courage to say even a simple "hi" no matter how much the boy greeted him with the same smile as the day they bumped into each other whenever he saw him in the hallways, however, the shame and shyness overcame any will he had, making him smile awkwardly and walk as fast as possible away from the killer gaze of the boy he secretly admired.
Porchay's life wasn't that lonely after all, he had Benz, the most talkative boy he'd ever had the opportunity to meet. The two became friends right after the first week of classes in sophomore year, Benz had just transferred and unlike Chay, he didn't seem the least bit shy as he sat down next to him and started chattering while asking all sorts of questions about the school, people and everything else he could remember. Of course, the boy's behavior attracted many friendships, the ones Porchay never made a point of meeting, except for a boy named Macau who was as talkative as his pink-haired friend and who didn't seem to care much about his opinion of wanting or do not approach. Macau, besides being part of the football team, was Kim's cousin and someone very smart. The few times they shared the cafeteria table, the older boy was able to unravel Porchay's crush without any effort and it haunted him every day, he didn't know if out of fear of Macau spilling the beans or because he was making your feelings too obvious.
One of the things Porchay appreciated most about the school was the communication skills those hallways had, not that he liked gossip but he found it comical how the news flowed freely from one side to the other as if they had a life of their own and even if he didn't care about those rumors, he was always interested when Kim's name appeared involved in some controversy. He overheard that morning that the boy had gotten into a fight with Ploy and that things were looking really bad as they both yelled at each other and the captain had isolated himself from classes without talking to anyone at all. Macau later appeared with the news updated as expected, apparently the cheerleader had cheated on Kim and that was not an easy thing to forgive.
Porchay had no idea why he was walking to the soccer field at that time, after all, he always avoided that place after school as he always found it crowded with the groups he tried to avoid the most: players, cheerleaders and hysterical girls with posters and hearts screaming the names of every boy they could remember. But unlike usual, the field was completely empty with the exception of a single person sitting between the stands. It wasn't difficult for the boy to recognize who it was, after all, he was a very detail-oriented admirer and when it came to admiring all of Kim's traits, Porchay was an expert on the subject. His legs seemed to have taken on a life of their own like his toy car in the park as they followed to the older boy even as his brain begged him to turn around before he was noticed, but as everything in Chay's life went incredibly wrong, it didn't take long for that red and moist eyes met him and even in the midst of all the sadness that showed, Kim still smiled.
"Have you come to see my first defeat with your own eyes?" Porchay hadn't understood at first, but it only took a few seconds for him to realize that even then Kim was making fun of himself by associating the team's undefeated streak with Ploy's betrayal. Chay didn't answer, just sat on the bench next to the boy and stared at him for a little while before looking away to the field ahead.
"If you want to talk... Even if I gossip about what you tell me, no one will believe it anyway." He shrugged with a nervous giggle, feeling his face flush then. Porchay didn't know but it had gotten another smile out of Kim.
"I don't have much to say, it's exactly like people are saying. She cheated on me, I saw it and then we fought. We yelled at each other and broke up." Although the words came out simply, it was possible to identify the pained tone and how it had affected him, Chay was terrible at advice and even in the face of that confession, he had no idea what to say or do.
Porchay's thoughts flew so far that Kim almost believed the boy had gotten lost among them and forgotten about his existence, especially when Chay picked up his phone and plugged it into his headphones. However, he was surprised when one of the sides was offered to him.
Contrary to clichés, Porchay didn't have any songs strategically prepared for that moment, on the contrary, he was impulsive enough to click on his favorite playlist and let "lovesong" fill his ears and Kim's. He felt like a complete idiot. First, why on earth would a song about love be good for someone who had just ended a relationship? Second, how could he be so stupid as to immediately put on the music that made him fantasize about the captain every night before he went to sleep? Definitely, if there was a competition about the dumbest boy in the world, Porchay would definitely take the top prize. And as much as he was very used to belittling himself, the insulting thoughts were quickly interrupted by Kim's low voice.
"However far away, I will always love you." It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that Chay's eyes doubled in size, his body frozen in place and his thoughts turned to the certainty that he would dream of that voice humming his favorite song softly for nights on end. "You have good taste." Those words were enough to make Porchay's face combust again, as well as any other direct interaction he had with the older one. He didn't move for a good few minutes as the playlist played through the tracks and the sun slowly disappeared over the horizon. The silence engulfed the moment more and more, being sometimes interrupted only by Kim's voice when he recognized a song or Chay's shy giggles with the exaggerated interpretations. This was as close as he'd come to his crush and he wouldn't even have minded the night getting closer and closer if it weren't for Macau's voice sounding as loud as a siren, calling his name and Kim's so that the two of them would be able to hear even if they were miles away.
"Oh, so you were together?" The mischievous smile on Macau's face made Porchay freeze, he felt he needed to act before tragedy struck. "The team's all worried and you've already got a new boyfriend." Porchay gasped for air, the one that was missing from his lungs at Kim's cousin's words. It didn't even take a second for him to grab his backpack and run out of the field amidst coughing and stumbling, he would remember murdering Macau the next day for sure - if he himself was still alive -.
As the music faded and Chay hurried away, Kim realized he hadn't felt so comfortable around someone in a long time. And with the urge to get close to the boy again and the headphone forgotten in his hands, his newest mission was to meet Porchay Kittisawat as a curious admirer.