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“You should be more careful,” Kagami said as she slowly wrapped a bandage around Marinette’s wrist.
Her usual blunt tone seemed to cut deeper than usual, bringing tears to Marinette’s eyes despite her best efforts. She was just so tired.
Try as she might to hide the tears, it was only a few seconds before she glanced over at her failed potion and a new wave of shame washed over her. She couldn’t suppress her resulting sniffle. Kagami was good at everything—Marinette had learned that if nothing else in the few weeks since they’d began their apprenticeship together. And Marinette…
Well, she felt like she was barely keeping it together.
Kagami froze, holding Marinette’s wrist gently as she looked up. “What’s wrong? Is it too tight? Does it hurt?”
Marinette shook her head.
After a long silence, Kagami reached for a pin and secured her work, releasing Marinette’s arm and closing the medicine box.
“I don’t think it should take long to heal,” Kagami said. “I used the poultice you made the other day, and you are…better at healing spells than I am.”
Somehow that made Marinette want to cry harder. How pitiful must she seem if Kagami felt the need to lie in order to placate her? Well, maybe it wasn’t a lie—Marinette had noticed Kagami’s struggles in that area. But how long must Kagami have had to fumble around to find something that Marinette was actually better at?
Actually, probably not long at all—even in her thoughts, Kagami didn’t seem the type to fumble.
Kagami shifted on the mattress and clasped her hands in her lap. When Marinette chanced a glance over, her shoulders were hunched forwards and she regarded the wall of their cabin with a stony expression.
“I feel like I have…upset you. But I can’t fix it if you won’t be upfront about what I’ve done.”
“You haven’t done anything,” Marinette grumbled, wiping her cheeks with her good hand. She cradled her injured wrist to her chest, trying not to think about how much longer than usual it would take to finish her daily tasks. And to clean up the mess she’d made.
“But you are upset.”
“What does it matter? I won’t be here long at this rate.” Not if she kept messing up. “You have nothing to gain by trying to befriend me.”
Kagami twisted around too fast for Marinette to dodge her piercing gaze. And once their eyes were locked…Marinette didn’t even want to look away. She wanted to melt. She wanted to scream.
Also, she still wanted to cry.
But that desire faded when Kagami spoke. “All I hoped to gain was your friendship. But I can tell you’re not interested.”
Marinette felt her eyes widen. “You thought I didn’t want to be your friend?”
“It’s the natural conclusion. You act differently around the other apprentices. I’ve seen you with Alya, Nino, Adrien…well, Adrien might not be the best example. You seem weird around him as well. But it’s still…it’s different than how you are with me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your pity. I just hoped that you might give me a chance once we got to know each other. But that doesn’t seem to be in the cards.” She looked away. “I think I should give you some space.”
Kagami stood abruptly, and Marinette’s stomach fell as she walked away. She couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that Kagami had apparently been fearing the same thing as her. That Kagami wanted the same thing as her. But she could process things later—now she had to act.
In her haste to reach the door first, Marinette banged her injured wrist against the table as she passed. When she cried out in pain, Kagami turned around immediately, her brow pinching in concern.
“Are you alright?”
Marinette gritted her teeth and nodded. Kagami looked her up and down, pressed her lips together, and turned to leave again.
“Wait!” Marinette shouted. “Just give me a second to explain. Please.”
Kagami turned back much slower this time, walking over and stopping right in front in front of Marinette with her chin set defiantly. She crossed her arms across her chest in a way that almost made Marinette smile—she could practically hear Mme Mendeliev’s opinion on that stance.
Bad form for spellcasting. You cross your arms and you close yourself off to accepting magical energies from the world. Your body should be open to receiving magic at all waking hours. You never know when you might need to defend yourself.
Sure, it was nothing but an old wive’s tale, carried over from the wars of past generations, when constant vigilance was required to practice magic. But normally, Kagami adhered rigidly to those standards.
Now, she seemed to have let her guard down, even if she looked supremely uncomfortable in doing so. “I’m listening.”
Marinette took a deep breath. “I, um…well, you see…I sort of thought that you didn’t like me? I mean, you’re always criticizing the way I do things or telling me to be careful or…I don’t know. There’s always something.”
Kagami frowned. “I’ve never criticized your technique.”
“Oh, come on! Not an hour ago you commented on how much lavender I was using in my potion. And on how I was preparing the chamomile.”
“Yes, because I’ve never seen somebody make a sleeping draught that way. Your thought process interests me.” She smiled—a rare sight over the past few weeks—and Marinette thought she might do just about anything to see that smile again. “You interest me. I thought I might learn a little something about your methods by asking questions. I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear.”
“You want to learn from me? Even after all the times I’ve messed up?”
Beneath the lamplight, Kagami’s eyes sparkled. “It’s true that your experiments don’t always go according to plan, but…the ones that do work out are exceptional.”
Marinette was at already at a loss for words, but she also lost control of her capacity for though when Kagami stepped closer and carefully lifted her injured arm, placing it back against Marinette’s chest and letting her hand linger on Marinette’s elbow.
Kagami’s expression softened. “Also, the reason I tell you to be careful is because I don’t wish to see you hurt.”
The room suddenly felt so warm that Marinette worried the fire had somehow escaped its magical confines and started to eat up the hardwood. But no, it was just her face that was hot enough to boil a potion.
She cleared her throat. “So, uh, friends? You and me?”
Kagami shook her head, but this time Marinette didn’t miss the fondness in her eyes or the way her lips curled into a tiny smile. “Well, someone certainly needs to keep you from injuring yourself further.” She let go of Marinette’s elbow and took a step back. “Now, come on. Let me help you finish up your tasks for the day.”
As Marinette followed Kagami back over to their work station, she couldn’t help but watch the elegant way in which Kagami moved. She couldn’t help but wonder if friends was even what she wanted.
With the memory of Kagami’s smile sending flutters through her chest, Marinette couldn’t help but want something more.