Work Text:
Two weeks ago or so
“This would be fun,” Ed said. “We’ll just answer some questions, maybe drink a couple of shots, it's no big deal, Stede!”
“Well at least our agents will be grateful, free promotion and everything,” Stede sighed, agreeing.
Now
Now they were sitting across from each other at a small table in a room full of cameras. On the table there were three bottles with what looked like brandy, vodka and whiskey, two shot glasses and two glasses half-filled with juice. Stede picked up one of the juice glasses and took a sip. Ed watched how his tongue moved as he licked a stray drop from his upper lip.
Ed, you’re staring.
Stede looked for the absence of a better word dashing. Wild golden hair, hazel eyes behind golden-rimmed aviator glasses, easy smile on his face. He was wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt (two top buttons undone) paired with off-white slim chinos and boat shoes.
Ed himself went with an oversized white sleeveless hoodie, black jeans and a pair of Air Jordans, teal and purple ones, his favourite. Stede thinks they’re atrocious though. He smiled to himself.
“Hey guys, are you okay to start? Great. Lovely to see you here!” Ed finally managed to tear his eyes off of Stede to look at the interviewer. It was a guy in his early 20s judging by his looks. Probably a tik-toker or something. “Please tell us who you are”
“I’m Stede Bonnet,” said Stede with a grin.
“And I am Ed Blackbeard,” Ed grinned too and moved his hand in a sort of wave.
“How do you two know each other?”
“We’re in the adult entertainment industry.”
The euphemism made Ed let out a laugh. “Yeah, we are. And also, we-”
“And also, we live together,” Stede finished cheerfully. “We’re roommates!”
Omg they were roommates Ed’s brain helpfully provided.
“Have you guys ever worked together?”
“I don’t think we have, darling, have we?” Stede wrinkled his forehead, trying to remember.
“No, mate, don’t think we have.”
“But have you slept together?” man this interviewer was really going for it, wasn’t he?
“Yeah,” said Ed.
“Yes,” said Stede at that same moment.
They shared an amused glance.
“So, you guys live together and you sleep with each other, are you a couple?”
“I want a shot!” Stede’s reaction was so quick Ed didn’t even have time to comprehend the question. And what’s with the high-pitched voice?
“What, a shot already?” Ed asked with a chuckle and a hint of disappointment in his voice while Stede was pouring two shots of brandy for them both.
The truth was, they’ve never discussed it. A few years ago, Stede was involved in a huge media scandal connected to his past relationship, so Ed didn’t want to push him into any new labels. He’d say something when he’s ready, right? Meanwhile, Ed was fine with what they had. Yes, if he was completely honest, he liked viewing them as a couple. Viewing their movie nights and club outings as dates. In the mornings, when they were both free, he liked running to the pastry shop around the corner to get croissants (one plain for himself and one almond for Stede) so they could eat them and drink tea together on the terrace. Because he liked Stede. Maybe even loved him. Not that he ever had the courage to say it out loud. Even thinking it felt like too much.
In any case they lived together and they were best friends. Best friends who fucked each other’s brains out. Most importantly, Ed knew Stede liked him too. This was enough.
“Cheers, Ed,” said Stede, raising his glass, prompting Ed to do the same.
“Cheers.”
Brandy burned in his throat, providing a distracting sensation.
“So, one of us needs to take a card, read a question on it and the other has to answer it or to drink, am I understanding this correctly?” Stede asked, holding a stack of game cards in his hands. The interviewer guy made a kind of an affirmative gesture. “Wonderful, I’ll start then! Edward, how did you get into the industry?”
“I got in through an ex-boyfriend.” Ed wrinkled his forehead, trying to remember the details. “We were both 19 back then, I think. He used to do web-caming and at one point he got an opportunity to get into porn and his agent saw me and asked if I wanted to try. Because I was hella cute. Obviously,” Ed gestured at his face matter-of-factly, looking directly into the camera as Stede giggled. “The rest is history as they say. Now, mate,'' he turned his gaze back to Stede. “Care to share your story?”
“Me? Oh, I’ve been going through a tough period financially, so to say, when that happened. I got disowned by my parents after that photo of me kissing a man in a night club leaked into papers. Back then my dad basically owned everything I had, so he froze all my bank accounts, kicked me out of my apartment… You might have heard of it, it was quite a scandal about 5 years ago,” Stede smiled a bit sadly at the memory. “I spent a couple of months crashing on my university friend’s couch, struggling to find a job, as nobody wanted to hire me, again, no thanks to my dad. Then, one day the friend was having his boyfriend over, and he suggested I tried web-caming, said I was the ‘right type’ for it, whatever that meant. To be honest, I wasn’t very enthusiastic about the idea at the moment, but what did I have to lose? So here we are.”
Ed, of course, had heard this story multiple times before, and had always found it fascinating. The man has lost everything he had in one day, basically turning from a trust fund kid to a homeless person at 24. Not that Ed has ever had much sympathy for the rich, but it was Stede, and Stede was not like the rest of them.
No, really, he wasn’t.
Ed hadn’t really followed that scandal back in the day, never too interested in tabloid drama, and when he met Stede in person about 2 years later, the man didn’t even strike him as once belonging to the very upper crust. He had the manners for sure, and overall did seem kind of refined, but there wasn’t that air of pretentiousness about him that usually surrounded posh people. He wasn’t a snob nor did he look down on anybody. On the contrary, Stede was nice, made kind of weird but funny jokes, seemed pretty down to earth, and in general, a very likeable person.
So yes, Ed was genuinely sorry that that shit happened to him. But even more he was sorry he didn’t know him back then, wasn’t there for him to cheer him up or to kick his dad’s ass or whatever. Stede becoming a pornstar kicked his dad’s ass just fine though, he thought joyfully. Surely neither he nor Stede saw anything shameful about being in porn industry, but Stede’s dad did. Hehe.
“Darling?”
“Hm? What?” While Ed was lost in his thoughts, the conversation has moved on seemingly.
“I said it’s your turn to ask a question.” Stede looked at him with such affection in his eyes that Ed’s heart melted a little bit. Does he always look at me like that?
“Right, yes, um…” He took a card. “Did you tell your parents what you do for a living and, if yes, how did they respond?”
Stede laughed, “I think we’ve covered that already in my case. I didn’t even have to tell them anything, the tabloids did. Didn’t need to ask what they thought about it either, their ‘no comment’ comments were extremely eloquent.”
“Well, as I have always told you, mate, good riddance.” Ed reached across the table, took Stede’s hand in his own and briefly squeezed it. Stede smiled in appreciation.
“What about your parents, Ed?” asked the interviewer.
“Funny story, I don’t think I’ve ever had this conversation with my mom.”
“What?!” Stede exclaimed, his face the definition of surprise
“Yeah, it’s not that she doesn’t know, you know, we’ve just never talked about it.”
“Do you wanna call your mom and tell her right now?” The interviewer. Again.
“Um, I mean-”
“Ed, you must do it! It’d be hilarious, Ed, please!” Stede’s eyes were shining with joy and mischief and as if Ed could ever say no to that.
“Okay, fine, I’m calling,” he pulled his phone from the pocket and dialled his mom’s number. After a few tone signals she picked up. “Hey, mom?”
“Hello? Edward?”
“Yes, mom, it’s me, listen-”
“Oh, it’s so nice to hear your voice! How are you? You don’t call me very often, do you? Is everything alright?” Yes, of course his mom would be grilling him about not calling often before he even could say a word.
“Yes, mom, I’m fine. Listen, real quick, me and Stede, we’re on a YouTube show together and they want me to tell you what I do for a living.”
Pause.
“Mom?”
“Yes, Edward, I am listening, are you gonna tell me?”
“It’s porn.”
“What? I couldn’t quite hear you just now?”
Stede was pressing his palm to his mouth not to giggle too loudly, his face red from the effort.
“I do porn, I’m a pornstar.”
Pause.
“Mom, are you still there?”
“Edward, I can’t believe it. I simply have no words to say to that. I was certain you were an accountant; how could you lead me on all these years?”
“Mom,“ Ed groaned in exasperation. Stede stopped trying to silence his laughter by now and was doubled down, laughing so hard that tears were pouring from his eyes.
“Edward, the next time you’re home we need to have a serious conversation. Does Stede know?”
“If you don’t stop your little stand-up show there Stede is probably gonna suffocate from laughing, so have a little mercy?” Ed was grinning ear to ear himself by now.
“Okay, fine. Anything else you want to say to me?”
“Yeah, love you, mom.”
“I love you too, honey. Tell Stede I say hi and come by for dinner some time, the two of you, will you?”
“Sure, mom, bye!” He disconnected the call and looked at Stede who was trying to get himself together again bit by bit as he took off his glasses and was wiping his eyes with a handkerchief. “Well, that went well.”
“Thank you, Ed, it was amazing,” Stede said, still giggling.
After he’d composed himself Stede took another game card and read the next question. “How many people have you slept with?”
Now it was Ed’s turn to laugh.
“I think I would be making the right call if I do this,” said Stede jovially as he picked up the bottle of brandy for the second time today and poured shots for them both.
Ed nodded still chuckling, took the glass as Stede took his and they both drank.
“Now, if I had to guess, I would say I’ve slept with 346 people,” Ed said eventually.
“That’s very specific but I dare say it sounds pretty accurate,” Stede nodded.
“What about you, mate?”
“I think I’ve slept with about 50.”
“Wait, what? You’re saying I’ve slept with 300 more?!”
“Dear, you’ve also been in this industry for like 7 more years than I have,” Stede said, reasonably.
“Do you think you’ll ever beat him?” Ed had momentarily forgotten that the interviewer was still in the room, but here he was.
“No, goodness, I don’t think I will!” Stede laughed. “I wouldn’t make it a goal either” Ed joined his laughter at that.
“Ok, then, next question,” Ed took a card. “Have you ever fallen in love with a co-star?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” Suddenly Ed felt like someone took his insides in a fist and squeezed.
“Yes,” Stede’s face was unreadable, yet he was looking directly into Ed’s eyes. Ed felt his cheeks burn. What is happening?
“Um, did-” Ed’s throat was suddenly so dry he couldn’t get the words out. He took a sip from one of the juice glasses. “Did it make your work harder?”
“No. I don’t think that if I’m giving other people love it diminishes the love that I give to my partner. Our cultural norms teach us to be possessive in love affairs, but I don’t think that it works very well. The person I love is not my property as I am not theirs. You know there’s this quote that I’ve heard somewhere and I really like, it goes like this ‘loving more people is always better than loving less people’ and I try to stick to that.”
Not you casually quoting Tales of the City. Oh my god, I love you. I love you so much, Stede Bonnet.
“Next question?” Ed didn't even register how much time has passed while he was sitting there drowning in Stede’s eyes until he heard the interviewer’s voice again. Damn that guy really has terrible timing.
“Um, yes, okay, where’s that card? Here. Right.” Ed grasped a card before he could think any longer. “Ohh, it’s a good one. Stede, why did you sleep with me?”
“It was my turn actually, but nevermind, I will answer,” Stede said with a teasing smirk that mirrored the one on Ed’s own face. “I’ve slept with you, because you’re smoking hot, Ed.”
Ed felt warm all over again. He knew he was hot of course, but hearing the man you love say it? Different.
That is until Stede decided to say another thing.
“I mean, what else is there, right?”
Wow.
Ed did his best to keep smiling, to make his next question sound teasing “So I’m just a warm body for you, ain’t I?” But judging by how Stede’s face slipped a little too, he sensed something was wrong.
Sensed and tried to recover, “No, of course not, Ed! We’re also… I think that we’re also both very romantic people.”
“Yeah. Yeah, we are, mate”. And just like that the dam of reservation inside of Ed has broken. “You know what made me attracted to you in the first place? You talk. You always speak what’s on your mind and you are very straightforward in articulating your wishes. If anything, I think that alone is extremely sexy. Because you deserve to be treated just right."
Stede gave him a look of what could be described as an awed surprise.
“Another thing that made me incredibly attracted to you, was actually something you did for me. Remember, you played piano and sang for me that one night?”
Oh, because Ed remembered it like it was yesterday despite it having happened about 2 years ago. They were at a party in a restaurant. It was some sort of a fundraiser, if Ed remembered correctly. Main activities involved talking, mingling, drinking champagne, more talking, eating tiny bits of food, drinking more champagne, then even more champagne until the evening actually became pleasant. All of that accompanied by a live band playing for them.
Ed and Stede weren’t living together yet at that moment, didn’t even know each other that well yet, having met only several months prior. But of all the people at that party, most of whom he’d known for years (and have slept with on and off screen), Ed found that he only wanted to be around Stede. Stede was kind of quirky, but smart, extremely well-dressed, easy to talk to… every quality Ed liked in his men, Stede had that. Ed was drawn to him like a magnet. And the more he drank the harder it was to keep his hands off of him. By the end of the evening, he had Stede pulled on his lap, lips close to his ear as he was whispering to him things that probably didn’t even matter and yet mattered so much.
Suddenly Stede got up and headed towards the stage. Ed let out a noise of disappointment at the loss of contact, but Stede only turned back briefly and threw him a teasing smile. The musicians were playing slow jazz, to which some of the guests were dancing. As Stede jumped on the stage they stopped playing and looked at him, concerned. Stede approached the pianist and said something to her quietly. She didn’t look too impressed at first but after some additional discussion and what looked like a 100$ note discreetly slipped into her hand (not discreetly enough for Ed not to notice though) she vacated her stool, which Stede immediately took.
Ed watched him, intrigued.
Stede sat taller, put his wrists on the keyboard and played a couple of chords. Then he cleared his throat and started singing.
Ed was stunned speechless. Stede’s voice wasn’t perfect and the acoustics in the restaurant was certainly not such of a concert hall, but not that it really mattered, honestly, when Stede was looking directly at Ed the whole time, only throwing an occasional glance on the keyboard now and then. Ed wasn’t sure he'd ever heard the song before, or maybe he had, but, again, what did it all matter. He was hypnotised by Stede’s hands moving nimbly across the keyboard, fascinated by his warm voice.
He barely even registered when the song ended. Only when Stede came off the stage and called his name he snapped out of his trance.
“Did you like it?” Stede asked then, shy, uncertain, as if he wasn’t an angel who came down to earth with the sole purpose of ruining Ed.
Ed couldn’t get the words out of him. Instead, he took Stede’s face in his hands and kissed him hoping he’d understand. And judging by the way Stede returned the kiss, he did.
Ed felt like he was burning with passion, fuelled by alcohol in his blood, at the same time drowning in affection to this golden-haired boy, who sang. Who sang for him. So, Ed took his hand, pulled him out to the street, took him home and-
“-and was the first night we slept together, wasn’t it?” Stede’s voice brought Ed back to the present.
“Yeah, I think so, yes” Ed felt so emotional from all the memories, he was afraid he might tear up. Don’t want that to happen. “Couldn’t hold myself back anymore after that performance.”
Stede looked at him with that affectionate look again. “I’m very happy you didn’t.”
“What I mean, Stede, is that I could list like a hundred reasons why I slept with you, just off the top of my head, and here you are, telling me that you did it just because I’m hot, mate,” Ed’s tone was calm, yet Stede still looked deeply remorseful. Ed immediately was sorry he'd said anything at all. “Look, Stede, I didn’t-”
“No, Ed, you’re right, it was a mean thing to say and I apologise. I didn’t say it to hurt you, yet hurting you is what I did. Forgive me?” Stede held out his hand across the table for Ed to take in an apologetic gesture.
Ed took it immediately and squeezed lightly. “Yeah, love, we’re good.” He saw Stede’s eyes sparkle at the nickname.
The moment was so charged one could power a small village with it.
“Guys, this has been great!” Ed could swear he’d forgotten the interviewer guy still existed. “I cannot believe you two aren’t an official couple yet though. I know it’s none of my business,” damn right it isn’t. “But honestly I’ve been feeling like a third wheel this whole interview.” Now, you’re more perceptive than I gave you credit for. “Why don’t you just ask each other out?”
“Actually, that does sound like a good point,” Stede said before Ed could make up a joke to laugh it out. “Edward, darling, would you like to go on a date with me?”
Well. Erm. Ugh. What?
“But please don’t feel obligated to say yes just because we are on camera,” Stede let out a somewhat nervous chuckle. In his defence Ed kind of forgot for a moment that Stede cannot read his thoughts and that he hadn’t given an audible answer. “Seriously, dear, it’s not a-”
“Yes. Stede, I would love to go on a date with you”.
Stede’s smile was so bright Ed thought he might go blind. Fair price to pay, to be honest.
Two weeks later or so
“You never were just a warm body for me, I hope you know that.”
They were lying in bed, Stede reading a book in a half-seated position and Ed on his phone, lying down, scrolling through the comments to the video that was uploaded earlier today.
They had their date a few days after filming the interview. Stede took him out for dinner to a fancy restaurant, then they decided to walk a little and didn’t notice how hours passed till they found themselves on the beach, barefooted, not caring about getting sand all over their fancy dinner clothes, watching the sunrise, utterly happy together. Ed asked then. if they were officially boyfriends now as they were dating and all, his tone of voice pretend-careless. To his surprise Stede let out a sigh of relief, saying how glad he was that Ed asked that, because apparently, he wanted to, but didn’t know how to approach the topic for ages. Of course, he’d be happy to be his boyfriend, he’d said, if Ed wanted that, that is. Ed kissed him all over his face then, overwhelmed with relief of his own, as he took a mental note to have a conversation about talking more openly about their feelings (which they did, the very next day). Then they almost ended up having sex on the beach, but fortunately, somewhat due to the specifics of their job, they knew exactly why they shouldn’t. They’ve made up for it later at home though.
And they were happy now, and Ed has almost forgotten about that Stede’s remark. Almost.
“Where did that come from, babe? You’ve apologised already and I meant it when I told you we’re good.” Almost. “But since you’ve brought it up, I’ve never asked you why you slept with me then, really?”
“Yes, I know you said we’re good, I just… I regretted saying that the moment it came out of my mouth. We weren’t official then and to be honest I thought that I was the one crushing too hard, while you were just being friendly. So, I wanted to play it cool and accidentally oversold it.” Ed put his phone down and turned his head up to look in Stede’s face. Stede was not looking back at him, his eyes fixed on the book, cheeks slightly pink. “Now to answer your question, I have been attracted to you since the moment we met and by the time we’ve slept together I was head over heels. You’re so cool, Ed, you’re so fucking cool, I’ve seen people almost cream their pants when you so much as looked at them, I couldn’t believe my luck when you chose me to go home with. Me of all people! Honestly, you could’ve beckoned me with a finger and I would’ve run after you like a dog. I was so whipped. Why have I slept with you isn’t the correct question, because how could I not to.“ Stede let out a sigh. “And then, before I could understand what was happening, you became my roommate, and seeing you every day is a luxury and I’m not sure how I deserve it. So, at that interview I kind of panicked, I didn’t want to scare you off.”
“You didn’t want to scare me off so much that you pretended to not even like me?”
“Yeah I-” Stede finally looked down on Ed’s face and saw him smirking. “Oh, you’re teasing me, aren’t you? Of course, you are,” he playfully smacked his shoulder. “Ed I’m serious, though. I’m sorry, I’ll do my best to never hurt you again”
“Stede, I love you,” neither of them said these words before and Ed sort of imagined that the first time one of them did, it would be on a date, or maybe during sex in that pre-orgasmic bliss when you’re barely able to hear your thoughts and your heart is fully open. But here he was saying them, unprompted, as if it was the most natural thing to say, right here, right now. As if it was the only way to let Stede know that there’s nothing he can do for Ed to stay mad at him. At least Ed hoped that Stede understood it.
Stede meanwhile seemed to have been struck speechless. His hand still on Ed’s shoulder, his mouth slightly open.
Ed sighed.
“You know that you don’t have to say it back, right? That’s how I feel and I want you to know it. We’ve lost enough time on miscommunication, haven’t we?”
“No, Ed, that’s not…” Stede finally put the book down on the nightstand, his glasses on top of it. He then slid lower in bed so that his head was right next to Ed’s. Ed turned to lie on his side so that he could face him properly. “That’s not what my silence meant, I just… I’m a bit dumbfounded with how happy your words made me feel all of a sudden.” Stede put up his hand and touched Ed’s face with his palm. Ed turned his head to place a kiss there. “Ed, you make me so happy, every day. I love you, too, very much.”
Ed leaned in and kissed Stede, sweetly, chastely. “I’m very lucky to have you in my life, sunshine”.
Stede smiled and then suddenly pulled Ed closer to him so that their bodies flushed together. “Mind showing me just how lucky you’re feeling, dearest?”
Ed’s grin turned predatory as he turned them so that he was hovering over Stede. “Your wish is my command,” he said before kissing him again, this time not chastely at all.