Chapter Text
Zarina had always been a curious fairy. As a dust-keeper, her job was to “nurture the dust, maintain it, measure it, package it, and distribute it.” (Fairy Gary’s words, not hers.) While she still loved doing those things, she also thirsted for knowledge. She had a whole list of questions.
How did pixie dust work?
Why was it the gold-yellow color?
Could it be other colors?
She knew blue dust existed as well, did that mean there could be purple dust?
Could there be pink or red dust?
That was just the start. She wanted to know.
She would save her rations of pixie dust to study. Without the dust, though, Zarina couldn’t fly. So she walked.
Zarina honestly didn’t mind walking everywhere, in fact, she felt like her legs were stronger than the average fairy. No one else enjoyed walking the way she did. Everyone else would use their dust to fly, while she used hers to conduct experiments.
She didn’t use all of her dust for experiments, of course. She knew that fairies needed the pixie dust to not only fly, but to keep their energy and spirits up. She tried to use the bare minimum though, even if it made her glow fainter and her wings dimmer.
(Often, she’d use less than the bare minimum, but that usually led to sickness. She justified it by saying her experiments were more important than her health, but Fairy Gary didn’t seem to agree. He actually banned her from experiments until she would use her dust “wisely.” Rude.)
Unfortunately, her experiments and walking seemed to make her more of an outcast. The other fairies couldn’t understand her appreciation for walking, and seemed to find her weird. Her experiments just confused them. It didn’t bother her.
It did.
She knew she wasn’t popular. She knew she didn’t really have friends. Tinkerbell and her friends seemed to tolerate her, though, and Zarina clung to that. Tinkerbell had been an outcast like her, but she found a group of fairies who appreciated her talents, even if Tinkerbell was “weird.”
Zarina didn’t have that. She didn’t have people even willing to talk to her. The other fairies didn’t seem to appreciate her questions, and avoided her, or didn’t even notice she was there. She didn’t understand what she did wrong, Tinkerbell was the same way and people didn’t avoid her.
Maybe it was because Tinkerbell’s discoveries actually helped Pixie Hollow, and Zarina’s never did anything important. Zarina tried her best not to be envious.
No result, no result, no-
It all accumulated on the day Zarina finally figured out how to make other colors of pixie dust. Fairy Gary had fired her. From the one job she’d ever known. From the one talent she’d ever had. All ripped away in an instant, because she had tripped and dropped pixie dust. All because she had been trying to prove herself, to show that she was deserving of friends, and she was smart enough to do what had never been done before.
Zarina looked around her house, blankly. She… she couldn’t stay in Pixie Hollow anymore. That’s not to say she physically couldn’t, as a pixie, she was allowed to stay, but she just couldn’t. She hadn’t been banished, but she felt like she had. She wasn’t allowed to work anymore, and fairies couldn’t just switch talents. Besides, no one wanted her and her abilities.
She would have to live without contributing to society, be a freeloader in a land where everyone always helped each other because that’s what fairies do. The other fairies would avoid her more than they already did.
She had to leave.
The former dust-keeper scanned her house, trying to figure out what to take and where to go. She knew she’d need to bring her rations of pixie dust, and she thought her… other bags of pixie dust would help her. Zarina raced around her small house, wrapping the different colored dust into different leaves, labelling them and gently placing them into her bag. She tied one of her many rations of regular pixie dust to her belt, and opened her door. She sprinkled the dust into her wings, shivering a bit as her body filled with warmth. Her glow was still dim, but she assumed that was because of her currently warring emotions.
She took off.
She reached the edge of Pixie Hollow faster than she usually would, though she knew it was because she usually walked. She’d have to work on her flying again, if she wanted to strengthen and get more stamina. Zarina ignored the little voice inside, asking if she was going to be able to continue flying once her dust ran out.
No result, no result, no-
Shooting one last longing look at her home, she flew towards the beach, her face wet.
____________________________
Fairy Gary sighed, looking around the ruined depot. The garden fairies had managed to get rid of the giant plant, but the damage was already done. The rest of his dust-keeper fairies worked for hours, hoping to replenish any lost pixie-dust. Thankfully, the plant hadn’t hit where the blue dust was located. It did knock out much of the assembly line, though. A few tinker fairies, (Clank, Bobble, and Tinkerbell) worked tirelessly to get it running again. They had assured him Fairy Mary wouldn’t mind them skipping their regular work today.
“After all, pixie dust is what runs everything in Pixie Hollow, aye? She told us we would be more useful over here than doing our regular work.”
“Bobble’s right, Fairy Gary. Besides, we would love to help out!”
“What Miss Bell said!”
With the depot mostly fixed up, there was only one problem left for Fairy Gary to take care of. Zarina. He left the depot in Terence’s capable hands, and headed out.
As the head of dust-keepers walked through Pixie Hollow, he was struck with a realization: he had not seen Zarina since yesterday.. With that in mind, he decided to head over to a group of fairies talking, hoping that maybe one of them had seen the girl.
Once he got closer, however, he could hear what they were saying, and ducked down so they wouldn’t notice him eavesdropping.
“Ugh, Zarina is the worst dust-keeper. Why did Fairy Gary keep her around for so long?” One of the fairies groaned. She appeared to be a fast-flying fairy, and Fairy Gary recognized her as Wisp.
“She’s not bad at her job,” a sparrowman commented, also fast-flying. “She was actually really good at measuring the dust out to give to people. She just was so focused on other things.”
“Other things?” Another fast-flyer asked, confused.
“Elwood means her stupid experiments, Tizzywing.” Wisp said.
“She bugged me about gardening and the kinds of flowers, and I made the mistake of telling her about them. Then look what she did!” A garden fairy answered, looking annoyed.
“She used some weird pixie dust to grow a giant flower?” Tizzywing asked.
“Don’t remind me! I spent hours trying to get rid of the stupid things with Rosetta and Chloe! Ivy was supposed to help us, but she started crying in frustration and Rosetta told her to go home.” The garden fairy rolled her eyes and flipped her hair over her shoulder.
“Aw, I’m sorry Sweet Pea. I’m sure Ivy’s fine.” Elwood said, boredly studying his nails.
“I don’t care about Ivy, I care about Zarina making my life harder!” Sweet Pea snapped.
“Who’s Zarina?” Tizzywing asked. Wisp sighed and Elwood rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Zarina. Dust-keeper? Auburn hair, hazel eyes? Always asking about pixie dust, even though she worked with it?” Elwood raised his eyebrow. Tizzywing returned his stare blankly.
“Elwood, have you been eating honey again? I think you’re making up fairies.” The innocent question made Elwood go an interesting shade of red.
“No! We were all talking about her! Including you!”
“I don’t remember that.”
Wisp sighed. “Ignore her, Elwood. She’s hopeless. If fairies didn’t say her name to get her attention she would probably forget it.”
“Who’s hopeless?” Tizzywing asked. Everyone groaned.
Fairy Gary tuned out the younger fairies as they moved on to another topic. Zarina didn’t seem to be very well-liked in Pixie Hollow, he was discovering. He felt kind of bad, Zarina tried to make friends but it seemed no one shared interests with her.
He still had to find her, and he didn’t even know who her friends were. He figured that the best course of action would be to go to her house. He wanted to talk to her, explain why she couldn’t just mess with pixie dust, and then give the fairy her job back. He didn’t really mean for her to be fired, he just wanted her to take a few days off, sort of as her punishment for destroying the depot based on curiosity. Almost like she was grounded for a little while. The dust-keeper overseer sighed. He had been way too hard on Zarina, telling her that she was “no longer a dust-keeper.” He felt terrible, and needed to make up for it. While he wouldn’t rescind his decision, he would explain it to her. No need to let the poor girl be upset.
He was walking towards the section of Pixie Hollow Zarina lived in when something, or someone, crashed into him.
“Fairy Gary- Fairy Gary-” Said fairy blinked down at Iridessa, a light fairy and one of Tinkerbell’s friends. She was on the ground, having fallen backwards after barrelling into him. The girl wheezed, and Fairy Gary knelt down to pat her on the back. When she had finally calmed down and caught her breath, the dust-keeper finally spoke.
“Hello Iridessa, are you-”
“Zarina’s gone!” The smaller fairy interrupted. He was about to scold her when her words sunk in.
“She’s what?”
“Zarina’s gone! She’s not here!”
Fairy Gary tried to control his emotions. If she was gone then he failed her, she could be dead, such a smart young fairy and now she’s gone and it’s his fault for not talking to her yesterday, for letting her leave when he knew she was upset- He stopped that line of thought.
“What do you mean, she’s gone? She might just not be at home-” The sparrowman tried to reason, but Iridessa just shook her head.
“I went into her house because I was trying to see if she was okay from yesterday but she wasn’t there but also a bunch of her stuff wasn’t there and no one has seen her all day and-” The light fairy had started going purple from how fast she was talking, and Fairy Gary held her arm.
“Deep breaths, dee~eep breaths, in and out,” relief filled him as she mimicked his breathing, “There ya go, attagirl.” Once Iridessa was breathing normally, he asked her to repeat what she had said, slower.
“Okay, so I went to visit Zarina, because she was probably upset about… everything that happened yesterday.” Reasonable, he was going to see Zarina for the same thing. “But when I got to her house, the door was open so I went in.”
Apparently manners were not a thing anymore.
“And when I went inside, Zarina wasn’t there. All her pixie dust was gone too, along with her clothes,” To be fair, he had only ever seen Zarina wear one outfit. She may not own any more.
“And her book of experiments was gone. She doesn’t just… take it places, so she had to have left to bring it with her. All of her experiments are done at her house.” Worry filled him as Iridessa continued speaking.
“Maybe she’s experimenting outside, and wanted to bring her book with her?” He tried, desperately praying that Zarina hadn’t gone.
Iridessa shook her head, breathing starting up again. “She told me that she hates bringing it anyway, ‘c-cause she’s scared of losing it and all of her experiments.”
The dust-keeper held the light fairy’s shoulder. She rubbed her eyes as he spoke. “Do not worry, Iridessa. We’ll find her.” His voice only trembled slightly. Zarina was like his daughter, all of his dust-keepers were like his children. There were many dangerous creatures outside of Pixie Hollow, a lone fairy wouldn’t last very long, especially without pixie dust. She couldn’t have just... left. She wouldn’t, would she?
____________________________
Tinkerbell’s mind was too quiet and too loud, at the same time. Her thoughts were racing, yet she couldn’t focus on a single one. Two words repeated in her head, louder and louder.
Zarina left.
Zarina left, Zarina left.
Zarina left.
It’s all my fault.
Zarina was gone, and it was her fault.
“Tinkerbell, lass, this isn’t your fault.” Fairy Gary murmured to her, trying to get her to calm down. He probably understood the feeling, but he didn’t understand what had happened.
“No Fairy Gary, it is my fault-” She buried her face in her hands, speaking through half-sobs.
“Tinkerbell, dear, this isn’t your fault. Zarina left of her own violation-” Fairy Mary was there as well. While Zarina wasn’t necessarily one of hers, she knew enough about her from Gary to consider her one of her charges as well.
“No, nono, it is my fault, it was my fault she tripped and the pink dust went everywhere, I was distracting her-”
“Tinkerbell, what are you saying?” Gary had moved back, hand gripping Mary’s. All three were in Tinkerbell’s house, sitting around a table. Fairy Gary had wanted to be the one to tell Tinkerbell about Zarina, and Mary hadn’t wanted him to do it alone. The tinker fairy let out a pitiful cry, eyes watering. She sniffed, trying not to look at the elder fairies.
“I- She- She wanted to show me something last night. It was… really late, and I was tinkering, and I h-heard a knock on the door. She asked me to come back to her house, an-and was saying stuff about how I had a habit of doing things I knew was right even if it “wasn’t allowed” and then-” The blonde scrubbed at her face, trying to avoid crying, “She started messing around with the pixie dust, and was adding little bits of blue dust to it-”
“Where did she get blue dust?!” Mary gasped, squeezing Gary’s hand. Gary patted her arm, trying to signal for her to calm down before Tinkerbell got more upset.
“I don’t know where she got it, but she only had a speck of it. She would, uh, chisel little bits off of it, so much that we could barely see the bits she would mix in. And it-” Tinkerbell paused, looking up to the other fairies in a melancholic awe.
“It was amazing.”
At the others’ stunned silence, she continued. “Zarina mixed all these different leaves and plants and- and just things into bags of pixie dust, and they would swirl around, and-” She gave a soft smile, “She made pixie dust. Not just the pink dust, she made orange, and purple- she had so many ideas, and-”
Tinkerbell cut herself off, seeing the elder fairies’ were still gobsmacked. Fairy Gary mouthed pink, orange and purple? Mary’s eyes grew impossible wider. The younger fairy took in a shuddering breath, knowing that if she stopped now, she probably wouldn’t ever find the courage to talk about it again.
“I told her to slow down. I told her that what she was doing was dangerous, and I tried to get her to stop, even though I knew the feeling that she had. I knew how it felt to do something amazing, when no one believed me, and I didn’t support her even though I knew she needed someone to support her-” Fairy Mary let out a wounded noise, knowing she hadn’t supported Tinkerbell when she first showed up.
“And I- I distracted her. She fell, and dropped her leaf of pink dust onto a plant. She was planning on putting a little bit of dust onto the plant, just to see if it worked- but it was all my fault- she spilled so much onto the plant and it destroyed the depot, and oh Second Star her house-” Tinkerbell burst into tears.
Fairy Gary and Fairy Mary rushed forward to comfort her, but she hunched over to avoid making eye contact.
“Lass, it wasn’t your fault-”
“Dear, no-” Both spoke at the same time, concerned. She shook her head frantically.
“She’s gone because I distracted her and made her drop the dust onto the plant which destroyed the depot which got her fired!”
Fairy Gary sighed. “Tinkerbell, it wasn’t your fault. Zarina was warned several times to not tamper with the dust, and she continued to do so. I-” He rubbed his temples, trying to breathe, “I didn’t mean fired fired, just for a little bit. I was going to talk to her, and explain why she wasn’t allowed to mess with the dust, it was for her protection.”
Once he was sure Tinkerbell was paying attention, he continued. “We aren’t allowed to mess with pixie dust because if anything goes wrong, someone could get hurt. Pixie Hollow rules aren’t meaningless, they are all in place for your protection. Regular pixie dust could hurt a fairy if used incorrectly, that’s why we have dust-talent fairies, both in the cold and warm seasons. The rules are there to keep you safe. Zarina knew that-”
“But Fairy Gary, she just wanted to understand the dust-” Again, manners are nonexistent apparently.
“Tinkerbell, we understand what Zarina wanted.” Mary said calmly, taking her charge’s hand, “But pixie dust is different from finding use for Lost Things. While yes, other kinds of dust could end up being useful, the fact of the matter is, she wasn’t being safe with her experiments.”
Tinkerbell opened her mouth to argue, but Gary held a hand up, knowing where Mary was going.
“Can you honestly tell me that Zarina was making sure she was being safe while she experimented? Did she have precautions in place in case things went wrong? Did she wear anything to protect herself in case of an explosion?”
Tinkerbell’s mouth fell closed, and horrified, she shook her head. Gary had a feeling that was the case, but it still hurt him at how flippant Zarina was with her own safety.
“ That is why she wasn’t allowed to mess with dust. I had several conversations with her, about her lack of regard for her health, about her refusal to use pixie dust on herself, and how generally unsafe she was while experimenting. We wouldn’t have cared as much if she was being safe, but she never was.”
Tinkerbell’s shoulders shook, and Mary pulled her into a hug.
“Do not worry, dear, we’ll find her and bring her back.”
Across Neverland, a small fairy met a young man called James, who offered her a place on his ship in return for her help in making him fly. She offered to make his whole ship and crew fly, and he granted her the title of Captain.