Chapter Text
What was that song again?
Laa dee da, an honored life fas-swahh.
Their heart beat faster.
Da dee de, memory, so sweet!
The mind is the mortal, the head the immaterial, the body the vice that wraps your karma like seaweed.
You wish to escape? Impossible, even if it were, you would lose the very head from your shoulders.
o-o-oh, where did you go?
O-o-oh, down by the road.
O-o-oh, no where is home
O-o-oh, sand in your bones…
Strangulation in the womb
Between teeth blood gushes iron and hot, nerves alight in their rotten meat tombs. Crunch. Crunch. What is rock and what is bone.
…
Back. Back. Back. Back. Bang.
Bang.
…
What was that song again?
I cant even remember. What was that fucking song?
Self death has never worked, what kind of man would even try it? Thats not what the taboo meant by survival.
But what does survival mean? How do you lose it without losing your care for yourself? We need so much more then our beings will allow.
A pistol, ineffective in most cases but the derringers bullet was coated in poison and shot into the left jaw artery.
Skilless, but such is life. Be smarter.
Its all so tight.
Let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out.
Shade under rolling hill
The Windchime 555
No, that was ages ago. But why can I remember every component like I was the one who made them?
Her eyes, just her eyes. What did the rest of her look like? When was she? Is she still around? Who was she? Why can't I remember why I can't remember her?
They'll all remember me… Im… im… Im the…. My title…. I was…. I talked to them for hours! And they listened, I was wise about…. No one else understood!
Damn them all, it didn't matter did it?
That umbilical wrapped around my neck, killing me before I lived will never fade, I lived a life in the shadow of death.
I still feel it some mornings when I wake up. I will feel it in the next life and I felt it in the last, of course It would be me who gets literal suffocation.
…
I open my eyes. I am in a small apartment, outside my window there is a field of flowers that disappears into the horizon. My muscles are large, I am female, I am not nearly dead but I am not newly born. I am nobility. No. I've… never been? I am a farmer.
What am I?
I am drinking coffee now. I did not make this. I made this. It was a long time ago? No, i've never been to a coffee plantation.
Where am I?
Outside my window and to the north a heretical monster is being erected. From around the country men and women arrive on trains and never leave. They have been promised homes. Those who survive the construction effort will receive them. People like me will be left to die unless I prostrate myself before the nobility of the superstructure. What a horrible world, but maybe I'm closer to freedom than they. I've lived in the proper ways, they only seek to break the order, they seek to ignore the reality of the world for a life of ease. What kind of idiot thinks…. Why do I think so lowly of their solution? It is not unfair… But they are wrong! No they're not, the 555 is a great machine, it has so many uses in karmic rebalance theory! No, it will damn us to a twisted half state don't you see? If we were able to escape that way, then we would have laid down upon the rocks and starved to death, and we would be free.
Unfortunate for those born in the cities. How will they ever be free with such inherent non karma? Luckily for her, she was given a chance. She was given a way. Maybe she had followed the path she needed too. Maybe not. Maybe. Maybe not.
These troubles gradually clear over the day, the coffee helps. She is not ready, these echoes are clear evidence of that, but perhaps she will be, by the time the structure is completed and turned on. She will not seek shelter, she will embrace the end, and hope for a better morning after death. Until then, there is work to be done, money to make, and a path for her to follow. If she could just ignore these damn intrusive thoughts.