Chapter Text
Fall Together
Good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
It takes Harry a few weeks to figure out where he even is. The last thing he remembers is a sharp pain in his chest as he walked down the garden path back towards their house where Ginny would have tea ready for them both. It was Harry’s way of keeping active as much as he could in his old age. Every morning he took a stroll through the garden, leaning heavily on his cane while he examined all the mature plants, exterminating pests with a wave of his wand as needed.
But now he’s stuck in a dark place with occasional blurry vision while he’s surrounded by intense feelings of hunger and fear and a deep longing for a warm embrace.
Harry is stuck in a baby. He isn’t a baby himself, he figured that out eventually. No, Harry’s mind, as it is, complete with well over a century of memories, is stuck in a new-born baby with a mind of his own. It’s a very rudimentary mind, still, but there is a tiny conscience there right beside his own.
Harry has no clue what is happening or why, but there isn’t much he can do about it while he’s stuck in a body that can’t even raise its own head yet. While coming to terms with these strange new circumstances, Harry mourns all he has lost. Ginny, their children, grandchildren, even a couple of great-grandchildren. Harry grieves the friends he’s left behind, and the ones he’s lost along the way.
It takes him another couple of weeks to figure out the baby he’s now living in is Tom Riddle.
Somehow Harry, instead of dying and moving on, dropped dead and woke up inside his former archnemesis. Two centuries in the past.
Harry spends hours and hours puzzling the why and how of his unique situation. But no matter how hard he tries, he cannot find any solid answers. It might have something to do with the fact that Harry was once Tom’s horcrux. For a time, they shared a soul.
It might have something to do with the fact that Harry once collected all the Deathly Hallows, even though being the Master of Death never did anything for Harry during his very long life, as far as he knows.
It might also be that Harry is there to save Tom. When Voldemort died, his soul was in pieces. And, Harry is sure, where ever souls go after death, they cannot remain there in pieces.
Souls need to be whole.
And Tom Riddle, for various reasons, cannot be trusted to look after his own soul so he needs help. And that’s why Harry is here, to guide him onto a different path than Tom had walked before.
Harry likes this theory and decides to roll with it. At the very least, it gives him a purpose in his strange new existence.
Slowly but surely, Tom becomes a bit more of an actual person, capable of complex thought. Harry whispers endless words of encouragement to Tom, and just as many terms of endearment.
Harry soon learns that Dumbledore was wrong about Tom. As a baby, Tom Riddle is capable of feeling love. It's only a little spark inside of a small body, but it’s there. Harry knows all too well that a fragile little spark like that needs lots of protection and nurturing to eventually grow into an ember that has the capacity to become a simmering flame.
Tom needs love like he needs oxygen, and Harry spends most of his waking hours making sure that Tom feels all the love that Harry can give him. And while Harry’s own life had a rocky emotional start, Harry has spent well over a century surrounded by love of all kinds and he has plenty to spare for little Tom.
Goodness knows the staff at Wool’s orphanage have very little love to spare. Not that Harry can blame them, not entirely. They are overworked and underpaid, barely making ends meet themselves as the world goes through the worst economic depression it’s ever seen. And the orphanage is full of unwanted children whose parents simply cannot afford to raise them. A little orphan like Tom is just one of many babies that need much more love and attention than there is available for them.
There is one member of the staff that looks after the babies that is a little more kind and patient than the rest. Her name is Lena, and Harry makes sure that baby Tom smiles at her as much as he can. Harry cannot control Tom’s body, not exactly, but he can coax Tom into raising the corners of his mouth through encouraging whispers. Lena notices quickly that Tom constantly smiles for her and looks after him as much as she can, giving him just a little bit of extra attention and a few more hugs that Tom absorbs like a dried out sponge tasting water for the first time.
Once Tom goes from a passive, rudimentary form of life to an inquisitive little person who is ready to explore the entire world around him, Harry starts to properly talk to him. He stops using baby talk but instead describes all they see around them while Tom sits up in his crib and stares at the world with wide, eager eyes.
Tom’s first word, at just over nine months old, is ‘learn’, and Harry couldn’t be more proud even if he tried.
Tom’s first bout of accidental magic happens at just a year old, when he summons back a picture book he’d been looking at, but that someone had snatched from his hands to give to a crying child, hoping to calm them down. Thankfully, no one noticed, and Tom happily goes back to reading his book, pointing a little finger at pictures of dogs and boats and horses, while Harry whispers their names in his mind.
Tom teaches himself to read by the time he’s two years old and Lena takes notice and supplies him with more advanced books to read during the long days spent in the orphanage’s nursery group. Tom’s more than content to read fairy tales and adventure books for young boys. He has an insatiable mind that wants to absorb any kind of knowledge it comes across.
Harry vows to make sure that Tom becomes the great wizard Harry knows he can be if only he doesn’t succumb to his darker inclinations. Because there is a bit of darkness in Tom, Harry can see as much. But it is small and easily ignored for now.
Since Harry’s been there since he was born, Tom doesn’t know any better than that a man named Harry lives in his head. He mentions Harry from time to time to those around him, but since it’s normal for small children like that to have imaginary friends, no one really takes notice of it. And Harry gently instructs Tom to keep his existence a secret when he’s old enough to do so, and thus Harry’s presence goes unnoticed by anyone but Tom.
It's a strange existence, sharing someone else’s mind. They can’t read each other’s thoughts, but they can pick up on each other’s emotions, especially when they are heightened.
“What are you?” Tom asks when he’s three-and-a-half.
“Excellent question,” Harry says as he considers how to answer that question. He doesn’t want to lie to Tom, but Tom is still very young and while he’s the smartest child Harry has ever met, he is still just a very young child. “Remember how we talked about magic and how you’re a wizard?”
“Yes,” Tom says while he stares straight ahead at nothing, like he usually does when he’s talking to Harry.
“Well, magic wanted to make sure that a clever little wizard like yourself had someone to help him learn about magic,” Harry says, hoping against hope that will satisfy Tom’s curiosity for now.
“Because all the rest here don’t have magic?” Tom guesses with a little frown.
“Exactly so,” Harry says, sending a wave of warm approval towards Tom. “The people here can teach you all sorts of important things, but they cannot teach you about magic. That’s why I’m here.”
“Okay,” Tom says and goes back to reading a book on ancient Roman history that Lena got for him.
Harry’s been telling Tom about magic since he was old enough to understand its concept. He’s made sure that Tom knows he’s going to Hogwarts when he turns eleven. It gives Tom something to look forward to, something to let him know he won’t always be stuck in the hopeless orphanage, surrounded by people who cannot ever hope to truly understand him.
Harry also uses the lure of Hogwarts to keep Tom on the straight and narrow.
“Only children who stay out of trouble are allowed to go to Hogwarts, Tom,” Harry says in a stern tone the first time that Tom uses his magic to retaliate viciously against a child who snatched a book from his hands. The child ended up with a small cut on his cheek, which the staff chalked up to Tom’s fingernails scratching the boy.
Of course, Harry doesn’t leave Tom defenceless. The orphanage is a dog eat dog kind of place, where all the children constantly battle for more attention, more food, more clothes and generally more chances to do well later in life. There are several older bullies who mercilessly take advantage of the younger children, Tom included. And Harry’s having none of that.
Tom has incredible control over his magic, young as he is at barely four. So Harry patiently teaches him a wandless stunning charm and Tom starts using it on the older kids that try to hurt him. Harry spends hours telling him in what circumstances he can use that charm, and when he cannot. Tom is, as always, an eager student and listens attentively to Harry’s arguments.
Harry’s incredibly grateful to Hermione during those moments. When Ginny had been pregnant with their first child, Harry had confessed to Hermione, after sharing a bottle of wine, that he was terrified about raising a child since he’d had such a poor upbringing himself. Harry honestly had no clue what to do when it came to small children.
Within a few days, Hermione showed up at Harry’s office and had discreetly handed him a stack of muggle books, all dedicated to childrearing in some form or another. And Harry had read them all, front to back, most more than once.
Knowing his own shortcomings had been a great motivator to study at least the basics of child psychology and the most effective techniques to raise a child.
And now that he is stuck inside little Tom, Harry puts all his knowledge to good use. Tom blossoms into an gifted child, eager to learn everything he could, no matter how odd the subject. He is generally polite to the staff and the other children and only defends himself or others when the situation truly calls for it.
Tom is still, in many ways, an odd little duck. He’s a bit more egocentric than others, and oftentimes quite aloof and awkward in any social situation. He doesn’t like loud noises and gets very antsy when around screaming children for very long. Mostly he just likes to be left alone so he can read in peace or quietly listen to Harry’s many stories about Hogwarts.
Thankfully the staff at the orphanage don’t hold any of this against Tom and simply assume it’s a consequence of his obviously gifted mind.
Life at the orphanage is, for the most part, structured and predictable, but Tom seems to thrive regardless.
When Tom is six something happens that shakes Tom to his core.
The measles are going around, as they often do, and Tom spends a week or two sick in bed before making a full recovery. A boy in Tom’s dormitory isn’t so lucky and dies in the middle of the night.
Tom is full of trembling waves of fear while Harry tries to comfort him.
“But where did he go?” Tom asks while Harry sends him all the comforting waves of love he can. “Did he just stop to exist?”
Harry reminds himself that Tom is just six years old. “Death is a part of life. None of us can escape it in the end. That is why we should treasure all the time we’re given, Tom, however long or short that might be.”
“But that’s not fair,” Tom whispers, sitting on his bed with hunched shoulders while fat tears drip down his face. Tom isn’t a child that cries a lot, but he does occasionally get overwhelmed by his emotions to the point of tears. “Why should we have to just stop living?”
“Someone very wise once told me that death is but the next adventure,” Harry says gently, frantically looking for the right words to say. The last thing he wants to see happen is for Tom to genuinely develop a fear of death as he’d done before. “And someone else told me that dying is just as quick and easy as falling asleep. Imagine, Tom, that you get to live a long, long life, learning all you can about magic and the world. And then, when you are old and tired, you get to fall asleep and go on to the next adventure, to see what lies beyond.”
Tom sniffles and wipes a hand across his nose. “And will you be there, Harry?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Harry assures him. “I’m with you until the very end, and then we’ll both see what the next adventure brings us.”
Nodding, Tom slowly sits up a little. “I’m glad you’re here, Harry.”
“And I’m glad to be with you, Tom.” And Harry finds that he really means that. Yes, his existence is very strange and often tedious and sometimes incredibly frustrating. But he’s also come to genuinely love Tom for the wonderful boy he is. And Harry honestly cannot wait to see what kind of incredible wizard Tom can grow up to become.
A few months later the orphanage takes the children to a forest outside London. Tom’s full of nervous flutters because he gets to travel on a train for the first time. Harry’s been telling him about the Hogwarts Express for years now, so naturally Tom’s eager to travel on a train. Harry shares in his joy as the train pulls out of the station and some of the children let out cheers, Tom included.
Tom’s rather disappointed they have to actually leave the train when they reach their destination, but Harry promises him there are plenty of other interesting things to explore in nature so Tom reluctantly follows the other children outside. As they’re walking down a country road towards the woods, Tom trailing behind, they both hear a hissing voice from the tall grass to their right.
“What’s that?” Tom asks cautiously while peering into the grass.
“See for yourself,” Harry says, curious to see how Tom will react to learning he’s a parselmouth.
Tom crouches down, shoves some of the grass to the side and gasps when he spots a small grass snake.
“Hello,” the snake says while raising its small head.
“It’s a talking snake!” Tom cries out, a hand going to his mouth in shock.
The snake reels back a little. “No, you’re a talking human!”
Tom blinks as though the snake has just said something very silly. “Of course I’m a talking human. What else would I be?”
Harry can’t hold back his laughter anymore at seeing Tom bickering with a snake. “You’re a parselmouth, Tom. You can speak parseltongue. It’s a very rare gift amongst wizards.”
“Really?” Tom narrows his eyes as he stares at the snake. “I can really speak snake?”
“Well, you’re certainly not speaking human, otherwise I wouldn’t understand a word you’re saying,” the snake replies with a little huff.
“Tom!” Lena comes hurrying towards them. The group is already very far ahead and apparently Lena only now realized Tom was lagging behind.
“It’s best to keep this talent a secret,” Harry whispers to Tom. “You know how muggles react to magic. And other wizards aren’t always comfortable with it, either. It’s best to let other magicals get to know you before you reveal this particular talent.”
“Okay,” Tom mumbles and then waves at Lena. “I found a snake! It’s friendly.”
Lena goes a little pale as she reaches Tom and sees the little snake, but much to her credit she manages to give Tom a brave smile. “How extraordinary. But we must catch up with the others now, so come along.”
By the time they’re back on the train, Tom seems to have accepted this new discovery and barely mentions it again, except whenever they come across another snake. That suits Harry just fine. He doesn’t want Tom to be ashamed of his natural talents, but he’s also acutely aware that wizards like Dumbledore absolutely will judge Tom on those kind of abilities. And Harry wants to spare Tom that if he can help it.
Harry’s made it a point to not lie to Tom, even if he doesn’t always tell him all he knows.
When Tom is eight, he asks, “But what are you, Harry? Your species must have a name. Is it a guardian angel?”
Harry sighs and if he’d still had hands he would rub them down his face. “It’s a very long story, most which I cannot tell you yet. But once you’re mature, I promise I’ll share every last detail with you.”
“But why?” Tom asks with a bit of a whine in his voice. If there’s something that Tom cannot abide, it’s the idea he’s being denied some sort of new knowledge.
“Because as clever as you are, you’re still only a child,” Harry says as kindly as he can, not wanting to hurt Tom in any way. “There are a few things I can tell you now, if you promise to patiently wait until you’re older for the rest.”
Tom perks up. “Yes, please, tell me.”
“All right.” Harry pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts and consider what he should tell Tom now. “I am not any different kind of species. I am a wizard, just like you. I lived a full life until I was an old man. And then when I died I found myself living in your head.”
Tom’s jaw slowly drops open as he takes in everything Harry has just told him. “So you actually went to Hogwarts yourself? What House were you in?”
“Gryffindor,” Harry says with a chuckle, thoroughly amused when Tom wrinkles his nose a little at hearing that particular detail. Tom’s many things, but a Gryffindor he’s not and probably never will be. “Though the Sorting Hat told me I’d also do very well in Slytherin.”
“And how did you end up in my mind?” Tom asks eagerly, his whole body flush with curiosity. “Did you do some kind of spell?”
“Not to my knowledge.” Harry sighs while Tom shifts impatiently on his bed. “I have some ideas how I ended up with you, Tom, but I can’t tell you yet. When you’re older, I promise.”
Tom rolls his eyes and lets himself fall back on his bed. “Yes, fine. What can you tell me?”
Harry considers that before he settles on a particular memory. “Let me tell you about the time my friend Ron and I fought a troll to save our friend Hermione.”
As Harry tells the whole story of how he ended up on the back of a troll, shoving his wand up its nose, Tom listens with bated breath and finally rolls around on his bed, laughing hysterically. Next is the story of how Harry helped to smuggle a baby dragon out of the castle, which garners a similar response.
And from that moment on, Harry includes personal details whenever he tells Tom stories. He stays away from anything to do with Voldemort, for obvious reasons, but he tells Tom about Ron and Hermione, and about Ginny and his children, and Tom wants to hear it all, no matter how small and insignificant the details are.
As awkward as Tom can be around others, he becomes better and better at reading people and their expectations of him. Harry lets him, because it is a way for Tom to understand the world around himself. Tom rarely manipulates people for truly unsavoury purposes. He also has an excellent reputation with the staff, so Harry doesn’t care when Tom tries his hand at charming the cook into giving him an extra apple.
There is a very real chance Tom will get sorted into Slytherin, even if Harry suspects he’s much more of a Ravenclaw these days. But being a half-blood sorted into Slytherin will come with certain challenges, and Tom will need to be able to charm and manipulate if he’s to survive in that House.
Tom is nine when he asks Harry a slew of difficult questions. “Did you know my mother, Harry?”
That takes Harry aback for a moment. Tom has never really asked about his parents before, after the staff informed him that he was an orphan when he was old enough to understand that concept. “I didn’t know her personally, but I knew of her,” Harry finally says.
Tom’s not done yet with seeking information. “Was she a witch? What was her name?”
“Her name was Merope Gaunt and she was indeed a witch.”
Lowering his head, Tom scrunches up his entire face in frustration. “Didn’t she have any magical family that could have taken me in?”
Ah, yeah, Harry probably should have anticipated these kind of questions sooner or later. Harry himself had often asked himself such questions as well when he was a child. “She did have magical family, but they couldn’t take you in.”
“Why?” Tom demands, voice much louder than usual. Thankfully they’re alone in the dormitory, though everyone is used to Tom muttering to himself at odd times during the day. “I wouldn’t have been a bother. I would have been respectful and done what they told me.”
Harry desperately holds back the rush of ice cold fear that courses through him at the thought of the Gaunts getting their hands on a baby Tom. He doesn’t want to alarm Tom, but he also doesn’t want to lie to him. “I’ve explained blood prejudice to you, remember?”
Tom gives a few shaky nods.
“Unfortunately, the Gaunts are a family that values pure blood over anything else. It’s a very silly philosophy, like we’ve discussed, but they believe in it to the point of not accepting a half-blood in their family.”
“Oh,” Tom says in a very small voice.
Harry wants so badly to give the boy a hug, but of course he can’t so he sends a wave of warm affection instead. “You have to understand that your mother chose to give birth here at the orphanage for a very good reason,” Harry says delicately. “It was to keep you safe, Tom. If she’d given birth in the wizarding world and had died there, the authorities would have handed you to the Gaunts without any question.”
“And they would have hurt me,” Tom says quietly, face oddly blank. “Because I’m a half-blood.”
They would have slammed you headfirst against the nearest wall, Harry thinks with a shudder. “Yes, they would have. Trust me, life here in the orphanage is much better than living with them would have been.”
“Is that why my mother didn’t go to St Mungo’s to give birth? Where they might have saved her?” Tom asks, and Harry’s once again astonished at how incredibly clever that boy is, to have come to that conclusion on his own.
“Yes, sweetheart,” Harry says with all the love he can put in his voice. “She wanted you to be safe much more than she wanted to save her own life. That’s what mothers do for their children.”
“I still would have liked to have met her,” Tom mumbles, plucking at the hem of his shirt, staring at nothing at all.
“And she would have loved to have raised you,” Harry assures him. “If she could have, she would have stayed with you, I promise you.”
“Maybe she sent you here,” Tom finally says, much to Harry’s surprise. “Maybe she knew I needed someone to look after me, and she sent you in her stead.”
Harry can’t help the warm flush of affection he feels for this boy. “You know what? That might just be the case.”
When they’re getting closer and closer to Tom’s eleventh birthday, Tom begins to get more and more nervous.
“It’s real, isn’t it?” Tom asks out of the blue one evening. “Hogwarts. I’ll really get my letter, right?”
“I promise you will,” Harry says at once. “Why are you suddenly questioning these things? You know you have magic. You use it often enough.”
Tom gives a bit of a sheepish shrug. “I’ve been reading about mental illnesses and one of the chapters was about how some people have very vivid hallucinations and then I worried that might be the case for me.”
Harry chuckles at Tom’s anxious look. “You’re not hallucinating, don’t worry. I’m not a figment of your imagination. You’re stuck with me, child, whether you like it or not.”
“Good,” Tom says with a grin before reaching for a new book to read.
Harry hasn’t coached Tom on how to act when Dumbledore shows up with his Hogwarts letter, aside from reminding him not to let on he already knows about magic and that it’s best not to mention his parseltongue just yet. But Harry isn’t worried about Mrs Cole filling Dumbledore’s head with all sorts of scary stories. Tom’s got a good reputation in the orphanage, certainly no worse than any of the other children, and Mrs Cole seems fond enough of Tom, especially because he does so well in school and rarely causes trouble.
Dumbledore’s wearing the same plum suit as Harry had seen in his memories all that time ago, but his approach to Tom is much kinder. There’s no setting anyone’s wardrobe on fire, for one.
Tom plays his part beautifully. He has become quite the good little actor over the years. “You mean what I can do is magic?” Tom asks with wide eyes. “I had thought it might be, but everyone’s always told me magic isn’t real.”
“I assure you, it’s very real,” Dumbledore says with an utterly indulgent smile.
“Do you also have magical doctors?” Tom asks with a small frown as he gives Dumbledore a critical look. “Because I had been considering becoming a doctor. Or a barrister.”
“We most certainly do,” Dumbledore says, much to Tom’s obvious joy. “They are called Healers and they require training in all sorts of magical subjects.”
“Good,” Tom says while sitting up a little. “Because I want to learn all the magical subjects.”
“Well, I do believe we have ourselves a Ravenclaw in the making,” Dumbledore says with a chuckle while he hands Tom his letter. “We can go to Diagon Alley right now to purchase your supplies.”
“Yes, please,” Tom says while Harry sends him wave after wave of glowing pride. “I can’t wait to read all my schoolbooks.”
“Yes, definitely a Ravenclaw,” Dumbledore mumbles as he guides Tom out of the room.
Harry hopes with all his heart that Dumbledore is right. Tom’s life would be so much easier if he didn’t sort into Slytherin this time around.