Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Seungcheol watches as they pass by the endless view of wheatfields and rice, the skies are blue but it’s covered with gray clouds looming around the place.

“It looks like it’s going to storm hard later.” The old man driving him to his destination muttered. It was true, when he looked back at the fields, he can see both men and women alike wearing sunhats tending on their produce, he hopes that the rain doesn’t damage the crops too much. It’s near harvesting season already and if it storms it’s going to hit their crops.

“Here we are.”

Seungcheol’s jaw dropped open when he peeked at the window, a huge building in front of him. If he doesn’t know what this place is, he’d suppose it’s a 5-star hotel or a rich person’s private town house. It doesn’t look like a psychiatric institution – at all.

“Wow..”

The owner really outdid itself in making sure it fits to the standards of those with golden spoon, it’s evident that it’s built for those who have money, businessman/women, retired politicians, sons and daughter, which is why it doesn’t strike a mental hospital. Afterall, if such information that these prominent people are staying in an institution for mental health, and considering the stigma around it, it could tarnish their image.

The exterior’s marvelous, it was sleek black and brown tone but the yellow lights made it homier and welcoming, the touch of green lawn made it beautiful, the sides are not exactly mirror symmetrical which adds to the look that it’s not business residential building. Seungcheol didn’t imagine he’d experience living in such house, only in his dreams.

“Are you okay kid?” He snapped out of his thoughts and closed his jaw before a fly can even get inside. His bags are already out of the trunk, the old man likely took it out while he’s busy gaping.

“Yes, thank you so much.”

“No problem, be careful okay’? And welcome to our humble town,” The old man, who’s also the one who drove him from the train station is lovely and sweet, giving him a pat on the back – it was familiar.

Seungcheol only have the address, and when he tried looking for it at Naver maps, it’s not even there, he was a saviour and was even nice enough to give the new kid some background of the town he’s in, it’s definitely out of Seoul, near seaside.

And when he researched about the place but there’s really nothing much the internet could offer, just the basic information. It’s far away, he didn’t know such place existed until he sent out his resume from the recommendation from his previous internship and finally got a call back.

The place is tiny that it looks forgotten, both by time and people. The lovely old man also mentioned that they knew each other with less than 100 population count, nobody really relocates here, mostly everyone prefer the urban area which for them is nice to see some new faces.

Thinking about it, that’s probably the reason why this was the place that was chosen by the owner to build the rest house and there’s no issue with the resources because from what he knew, the guests are paying good money to keep it up as a business.

Seungcheol holds a psychology degree and when he was nearing graduation, it was time for him to look for a job, he was much earlier in job hunting than his other classmates because he needs money. His scholarship only covers his living expenses when he’s at school and his part time job is enough to cover ends, when graduation comes over and officially, he’s not a student anymore then that’s it. Taking in consideration the insanely high prices to be able to live in Seoul, Seungcheol will certainly be poorer than he was in school.

Technically, it’s not the only place that offered him a job but it was the best offer out of them all because this included lodging, food and allowance aside from the salary itself. Basically everything. And the salary, it was tripled compared to the places he applied. Who was he to ignore that fact when that’s the main reason why he’s up at 3AM until morning looking for the best choices and drafting his resume to make sure he’s without a doubt qualified for the job.

So even if it was far away from Seoul, and in the province for god who knows where, which made it sketchy at first but after talks and video calls, in the end, Seungcheol didn’t hesitate to accept the job offer.

It wasn’t really that hard to decide leaving Seoul. It’s not like he has anyone, he’s been living alone with no family especially he’s an orphan, the only people he could call close to family is the staff in the orphanage where he lived and the sweet old lady who owns a store near his flat who was sweet enough to give him kimchi. Friends? He knows the ones he had in college are close to just being acquaintances and temporary once they’re off to their own.

During the whole journey which was roughly 30 to 40 minutes from the train station, the old man filled it which stories from his memory, a smile pulled on his face. Seungcheol understands the eagerness of elder people to talk, it gets lonely for them. He promised to visit the downtown and look for him when he gets a day off, have a game of Go with tea.

When the old man drives off, he’s back to feeling like a spot of dirt in the driveway, before someone called him; “Seungcheol-hyung!” A man comes running from the side, he was wearing a plain dark green scrub suit, he’s likely on clock which is why he’s wearing work clothes.

“That’s me.” He returned a smile which he knows look more like a grimace when the other smiled widely at him, it’s so bright, it feels like his whole being is full of sunshine and happiness – Seungcheol can’t really relate to that.

“I’m Seokmin, the one on the phone. You’re actually bulkier than what I imagine.”

That was unexpected, just imagine Seungcheol’s surprise.

This Seokmin commented with a boisterous laugh, and the implication of it made him blush, now he was even more conscious with what he’s wearing, it was only jeans and shirt which hugs him to right places, yes, emphasizing his broad back and good arms, his thick thighs too, thanks to free gym where he can pump some of the frustration and take his attention away from his worries.

Also, Seokmin told him it was okay, he explained that the train trip will be stuffy and long which is why he should opt to wear something lightweight but he should have known better and chose to be formal, first impression lasts anyway making him sigh.

“Let me help you with that, I already have your room key so I’ll send you off to your room first to get you settled before I introduce you to people.” Seokmin helped him carry his bags, it’s mostly clothes and other things important to him, pictures and documents. Everything is provided as stated in his contract so there’s nothing much he should provide to himself, just those necessities of his choice. And the uniform too which is same with Seokmin’s.

He discreetly takes a good look at other; he was like what Seungcheol pictured him to be. Actually, while talking to the phone, he’s always cheery and was happy to answer his inquiries, in his mind, he’s fit to work in such environment where people need support more than ever.

“Don’t be shy to ask me anything.”

“Actually- Is it really like this here? It doesn’t look like a mental hospital.”

“Ah hyung, don’t word it like that.” The smile he offered this time is what Seungcheol calls polite.

Nice. It’s just your first day here, at least make some good impression Choi Seungcheol.

“We’d like to say it’s a rest house for those who are struggling and going through something. It’s for their mental health. It’s not necessarily a mental hospital hyung, those cases are not meant to be sent here.”

“I’m sorry.. that was insensitive of me.” Seungcheol is ashamed and embarrassed, of all people, he shouldn’t be the one to stigmatize mental health and care. He graduated psychology and even studied all kinds of illness.

“No, it’s okay hyung! I understand you’re probably daunted by the place but seriously, it’s all homey here and everyone’s nice.”

“I’ll leave you be hyung so you could fix your stuff and I’ll come back maybe after an hour?” Seokmin looks at his watch before continuing – “They’d be by the shore by then, I’ll tour you around and introduce you to other staff and to our guests.”

Seokmin was at the door when he called out to him, “Seungcheol-hyung, I hope you enjoy your stay with us.” That sounds genuine which calmed his nervous nerves and made him smile. And by Seokmin’s presence, it seems like it’ll be tolerable to stay here. He hopes so.

When he was left on his own and that’s when he’s able to let out the breath he was holding all this time.

He looks around his room, it’s spacious, not necessarily extra big but spacious for one person. The bed’s linen sheets are crisp white, even the curtains. It could pass as a guest room instead of a staff room, this place sure is generous to their employees which is definitely good.

Seungcheol moves by the window and opens it, wow, they even gave him a room with the view of the beach that shows the endless line of the sea.

It’s been years since he last visited a place like this where he just spent a few hours at most, and now that the sea is just meters away, he better take advantage of that and the swim trunks he packed in his bag, have a good tan or go out for a swim, it’s a nice back exercise and abs flex. The water’s enticing and the saltiness of the sea tickles his nose.

The skies cleared up, now the sun’s bright which reflects to the water, and he could see the small peaceful waves, the white shoreline and–

Someone was sitting by the shore.

From what Seungcheol’s memory, the whole place extends to the sides of the rest house and it’s a private property, there’s no way someone is going to trespass, the house’s security is strict. The taxi a while ago wasn’t able to enter past the gates without letting Seokmin know ahead, it was a stern instruction to him.

Is it a staff? There’s no way it could be though, it’s work hours and they should be supervising their patients, and he’s not wearing a scrub suit, just what it looks like a light brown loose pants paired with a white shirt, a pair of sandals just beside him.

A guest?

Seungcheol was surprised when the said man turned and his gaze zoned right at him, their eyes met.

“Shit-” Seungcheol was caught red handed, he hastily covers the glass windows with the white curtain. He can feel his heart beating loudly against his chest, his hand rubs it calming himself.

His stare – it was penetrating and piercing like he knew Seungcheol was looking at him the moment he parted the curtains.

That was definitely something.

And his first day is officially over.

He was able to survive it with a few mistakes but Seokmin was quick to reassure him that it was fine, everyone can make mistakes or accidents on their adjustment period which includes him getting lost around the house and was late for lunch time, good thing it’s nothing serious and dangerous for the patients but one thing is for sure – everyone is taking like on him.

Aha! What could he say? He’s that likeable, even when he was on his last year of university when was placed in an elderly home and orphanage, both wanted to take him after his practice. But here he is.

The elders would say he’s like an overgrown puppy, grandmas and grandpas would like to introduce their grandchildren to him, because they knew he was single, and they’d love a grandson-in-law like him. Which seems like also a case here. Most of his patients are elders who are struggling with their mental health and their children have no time to tend to their needs but have money to send them here. Of course, there are few tough nuts to crack but it’s part of it and Seungcheol understands why.

“Sometimes, we’d let people go you know – to heaven and we were like their family because their own blood doesn’t have time to say goodbye to them, we’re the ones who do everything.” Seokmin whispered sadly one time they were off to fetch someone’s thing after he was sent to a hospital. Seungcheol was hit with emotions, he’s not made of stone.

They probably knew, that they’d be here until their last breath unless they’re released and they have somewhere else to go but most of the times, they’d stay here for the rest of their life which they can afford to do so. The people in this house care are the ones who’d be with them, even preparing for their funeral or fulfilling their last wishes.

“There are times where they request to be cremated and their ashes be spread in the ocean, this became their home and us became their family.”  Most of the others are in the recreational room after dinner, the other senior staff were nice to let Seungcheol and Seokmin have their dinner early.

“Anyway hyung, how was your first day?” Seokmin asked as if he wasn’t by Seungcheol’s side the whole time assisting him and teaching him what he needs to know.

“Actually-“ He sets down his chopsticks to properly be able to talk to Seokmin. There’s something bothering since that time he opened the curtains in his room and the mysterious man looked him, he’s engraved in his mind and also to take the opportunity to move on from a sensitive topic.

Seokmin looks at him, curious.

Just who is he? His gaze lingered around Seungcheol that he can still feel it around him, like someone’s watching him, every move but when Seungcheol looks around, there’s just no one. It’s seriously creeping him out.

“The patients you introduced to me, is that it? I mean, I’m not missing anyone right?” Seokmin introduced him yesterday and today both to the ones maintaining the rest house, the staff and patients but not the man on the shore.

Seokmin was contemplating, probably thinking if he missed someone, “I think… that’s it hyung.”

Maybe that was it.

“Ah!” Seungcheol perks up, he surely is missing someone.

Seungcheol could browse their health care system in the house but he wasn’t able to yesterday night because the moment he hits the bed, he was drop dead. He doesn’t have the time of the day today but he should probably do so soon, it’s important to know his patients’ file. It was bothering him since he didn’t see that man around so maybe Seokmin really did forget someone.

“Shua-hyung! He has therapy today which is why he wasn’t around and the other staff kindly sent food in his room. I’m sorry I could’ve introduced you but it’s protocol not to bother patients especially after they’ve done therapy.”

“Shua.. how old is he?”

“He’s 26 years old hyung! He usually stays by the shore and the open rest place.” They’re just the same age.

“So it’s him…” For sure it’s him.

“You saw him hyung?”

“Yeah, on my first day, like you said he’s by the shore, he’s just sitting there.”

“Don’t worry hyung, you might not see it but there’s a staff watching over him. And he just usually stays there watching the sea. I’ll introduce you to him tomorrow, you’d love him, Shua-hyung is really nice and gentle, an angel!”

But why was he here then?

The moment Seungcheol was dismissed and ready to bed, he sat down and opened the health care system they have. His priority was to find this Shua’s file and he was there, registered as a patient.

“Joshua Hong…” There’s the basic information laid in front of him.

Name: Joshua Hong (Hong Jisoo)

Date of Birth: December 30, 1995

Age: 26 years old

Permanent Home Address: Los Angeles, United States of America

Citizenship: American

“He’s from America and is American but he was sent here to Korea and it’s been just 6 months since his confinement.”

It’s not necessarily rare but it’s unusual to send someone all the way from other country here in Korea, for mental health care but it probably has to do with him having Korean blood despite being American citizen.

Impression: Depression and anxiety caused by his husband’s death.

“Husband’s death, so he was married..”  Seungcheol leaned on his chair looking at this Joshua Hong’s case. Most of their patients have more than depression and anxiety – which is treatable without sending someone miles away from their family, they could’ve sent him to a rest house in US but they sent him here. There was no note that he was suicidal or any history of such. It was a clean slate.

He doesn’t want to judge, supplying himself of reasons why – maybe because this Joshua needs a change of scenery especially America might be the place where he and his husband was supposed to build family, and his death but his other family? Maybe they don’t want to burden themselves so they chose to send him here and let others take care of him.

That was usually the reason, but the impression needs social support from family and friends.

His file just contained the usual, treatment and medication, schedules, hobbies and other vital information needed for the best healthcare delivery but there was nothing about his husband or detailed history which is unusual. Seungcheol thought that maybe it’s because all of their patients have such status that there’s no personal information stated unless it might interfere with the nurses’ delivery of care. They did sign an NDA before working here though.

Maybe he was just overthinking and putting too much meaning to everything. Seokmin did promised that he’d meet this Joshua tomorrow, he’d be able to gauge his character by then.

True to Seokmin’s word, Seungcheol finally met this Joshua from his first day, the man who stared directly at him like he could see past his soul, the deepest inside of him. Which was creepy but he really wanted to change that.

They were out by the patio and Seungcheol was called by Seokmin after he was done doing his other chores.

“Shua hyung! This is Seungcheol hyung! He’s the maknae of the staff now.” Seokmin placed an arm around Seungcheol and with a pat on his back. He looked down and what looked back were cattish-shaped eyes, a small smile and soft scrunch of his nose. This Joshua offered his hand and Seungcheol, embarrassing himself, unconsciously wiped his hand on his scrub pants, the action made both the two laugh.

“Seungcheol-sshi. Welcome here, I hope you enjoy your stay, we’re not too handful honestly.”

“I-it’s okay, I’m just doing my job.” Seungcheol replied and looked down on their linked hands, Joshua’s hands were big but fits perfectly on his, his grip were not too tight nor too soft but enough to make it feel nice.

“If that’s so and you’re not busy then maybe you can help me?” He wasn’t on staying-with-the-patients’ duty but since he was done with things he was supposed to do then there might be no harm with sparing time with them. Besides, Seungcheol’s been curious, drawn to this Joshua.

He sat down on the empty seat beside Joshua, first thing he noticed was when he caught a sniff of the other’s scent, which was cinnamon paired with vanilla, it was pleasant and calming, something he expected from the other. When he looked around, the other patients are on their own groups either playing board games, reading books and other leisure. It’s only Joshua alone that’s making bracelets with his large collection of colorful beads on the table.

Joshua gave him a string with a task of just making a bracelet with whatever he wants, and whenever he reaches out, they touch.

“Your hands aren’t made for this.” Joshua noticed the tangled mess of strings and Seungcheol did drop a few small beads.

“It’s okay, there’s still so many of them, just don’t lose the flowers and smileys – they’re my favorite.” The owner of the beads set was quick to reassure him before he even felt bad. Seungcheol decided to just play with it and observe the other, it was quite unexpected but the way Joshua handled the string and beads was careful enough, like his hands were used to holding something small and precious while Seungcheol aren’t, yes he’s given people care but his hands could easily smash and break something.

“You’re so good at this.” He can’t help but compliment Joshua.

“It’s really nothing, just a hobby. I used to make bracelets, for my husband.” His husband – yeah, Seungcheol remembers that Joshua was once married.

“He’s a model, I’d make bracelets to pair something with his clothings. He’s also not good at this, he’d prefer to play around while I’m making one, lose some of my precious beads.” Joshua continued with a fond look, in love on his face, all while Seungcheol absent mindedly looping around. What he noticed was Joshua was quick to open up, probably he knows that information is written in his file and Seungcheol probably have taken a look at it but still-

His eyes stray once again at the lad, there was a soft and peaceful smile on his face while he adds a few more beads, he’d always been a good judge of character and Joshua, he looked like there was no more pain, more like he’s filled with fond memories of him and his husband.

But maybe he was good at hiding it all, most people are.

“Give me your hand.” Joshua faced him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He took Seungcheol’s wrist and wrapped around the bracelet he was making which was still a few centimeters short.

Now that they were face to face, he could make out Joshua’s features – like the first time he saw him, his hair color looked browned caused by the sun but and the curls are like beach waves, it was soft.

He was wearing this v-neck knitted jumper that exposes the golden column of his neck and prominent collar bone, he’s not exactly bony but rather there’s muscle on his chest, which Seungcheol concluded that he probably worked out before.

“This is yours.” He looked down and Joshua was already wrapping the bracelet he was making a moment ago, it was filled with pink, blue, white, yellow, green – basically all colors found in Joshua’s stash of beads and with smiling rainbow flower in the middle and small charms in between beads, a clasp to close it.

“Consider this as my apology for being a creep the first day you arrived, it’s just that I know it when someone is watching me and you’re a new face. Surely you can’t blame me.” Seungcheol flushed, caught. “But I hope I didn’t scare you?” Joshua looked up at him and when he smiled, his eyes almost disappeared.

He was surprised, a bit scared because Seungcheol is a scaredy cat but he won’t say that.

“Cute- I mean, not really. I- fudge, you didn’t scare me and the bracelet, it’s cute.. thank you for this” Great Seungcheol. What happened to being smooth? He felt like an embarrassing high school student having his first crush.

“It was nice meeting you Cheollie, I hope it’s okay I call you that?”

Nobody really called him Cheollie, it sounds too cute in his hearing, intimate even that somebody made a nickname for him and a bracelet - he can feel himself heat up at the attention so he diverted his on the bracelet wrapped around his wrist.

“Yeah sure, it’s more than fine.”

It stands out, different from Seungcheol’s choice of accessories, people usually are intimidated by him but the bracelet was cute made by a cute ass patient of his. And he’s slowly taking a liking on it, perhaps because it was specially made for him.

Whatever it was he was feeling, there surely has some kind of butterflies flying inside his tummy.

“Shua-hyung! I’ll steal Seungcheol-hyung first, the head nurse is looking for him!”

“Sure Seokmin, I hope I didn’t bother you with anything and thank you for keeping me company. See you around.”

Even before the sun rises, Seungcheol is up on his feet already in his work out outfit which includes a tank top and his sweatshorts, a windbreaker since he decided to jog around the vicinity of the rest house. It was early morning, and freezing cold outside brought by the breeze of the sea. He’s already on his last lap running by the shore when he saw someone sitting just before the waves touches him – it was Joshua.

“Shua.” He slowed down from his jog, approaching the said man. Joshua looked surprised but smiled nonetheless when he saw who it was, “Cheollie.”

“You’re up early-“ Seungcheol looked around for a staff. Why was he out so early and is anyone even watching him?

“I could say the same to you.” It seems like Joshua noticed Seungcheol’s worry, he was perceptive anyways, “Someone’s watching me don’t worry and I asked permission, it’s been my routine even before.”

“Oh.” There are still so many things that Seungcheol doesn’t know, it’s not like anyone will leave a patient unattended for sure but he can’t also leave him alone to continue his jog, deciding it’s okay for the day, he already jogged a few kilometers out –

“Then, is it okay to sit here with you?” It’s still appropriate to ask for permission, last thing Seungcheol wants to do is to invade Joshua’s space and make him uncomfortable.

“I’d appreciate your company.” Joshua pats the empty side in response and Seungcheol was more than happy to sit down on the laid blanket and looked ahead, just where Joshua was looking as well. His view includes the vast blue ocean, purplish and orange hue of the skies.

“I’m waiting for the sunrise. It’s always calming, together with the sound of the water – Jeonghan loved it.” Seungcheol doesn’t know who this Jeonghan is but he assumed that this certain Jeonghan is Joshua’s husband. Was his husband.

And just before, it was chilly, Joshua held the blanket wrapped around him closer. There was a smile in Joshua’s face, probably from reminiscing memories with his husband and from then on, it was a fit of comfortable silence filled with the sounds of the lapping waves as they wait.

It was like how Jeonghan and Joshua was together like Seungcheol and him now, just the two of them waiting for the sun to shine and signal a new day, but instead Joshua and his husband wrapped around together.

The sun slowly rises, and its rays illuminates Joshua’s face whilst he savors the soft heat with his eyes closed, Seungcheol’s eyes was on him, for sure Joshua feels it but chooses to not comment on it. He was beautiful, broken from the death of his beloved and Seungcheol..

Seungcheol just want to hold him tight, to comfort and wash his pain and worries like how the water washes the sand on the shore.

It was something he never felt and he found himself questioning what is it?

Seungcheol found himself watching Joshua, not the stalker-watch but he was rather observant with other. He had found himself this feeling of being protective to the man he just met few months upon his placement here in the rest house, knowing that the other will soon leave – his impression was not made to be kept in this place. Once he was okay, and safe – he’ll be able to go back and start anew.

And Seungcheol wants to cherish every moment possible with Joshua. Even from afar.

He didn’t want to get ahead but he knows, Joshua too that both of them made connection together, just, they haven’t talked about it, for unvoiced reasons they both know.

Sadly, that time will come sooner or later.

When Seungcheol was roaming around the guests’ rooms, he noticed Joshua’s suite to be opened, he saw Seokmin inside and there were luggages.

“Hey, what’s happening?” His heart rate was getting faster, and a lump was forming in his throat.

And that time will come sooner or later.

“Hyung! Didn’t you get the message? Joshua hyung’s going to be released, he finally got the order from the doctor. I’m just helping him pack up here.”

This was it.

“Where is he?”

“He’s by the shore.”

Seungcheol never ran so fast in his life. He ran like that one time he was left in the orphanage from his foggy memory when somebody left him. He ran because he was afraid.

Joshua is in his usual place, he was sitting down on the plaid blanket, he learned was Jeonghan’s. The man was looking far ahead, like what he’d always be whenever Seungcheol found him.

“I heard you’re being released.”

“Yeah, the doctor found no reason to keep me here, he approved my release.” Joshua answered him, he was not surprised to have Seungcheol where he is, he knew this was their place.

“Congratulations- I’m-I’m happy for you.” It was hard to get those words out of his mouth, was he really happy? Or was it just some kind of robot response? Joshua – he’d be away from him, hell he’d probably go back to America, miles away from Korea, away from Seungcheol and he won’t be seeing him again.

In the morning, he won’t see Joshua sitting by the shore when he’s out jogging. There’ll be no Joshua making bracelets as a recreational activity. There’ll be no Joshua in his life – was he ready for that?

“You don’t sound happy at all.” Joshua looked at him with a smile, Seungcheol might be that obvious, his hand forms a fist. He didn’t want to cry, but he felt like a child once again.

“No, I mean, I’m happy that you’re good to go, that you won’t be locked up here anymore.” He sat down beside Joshua, his usual place. This place, soon will be only him alone.

“Will you be going back to America?” It took a few seconds before Joshua answered, it was intense seconds in Seungcheol’s life. He doesn’t know if he’d be able to visit Joshua if he comes back to America instead.

“No. America held so much of me and I’m not ready to come back there. I have a place in Seoul, you should visit me when you have free time.” The smile on his face was never gone, the smile he was so used to seeing when he came around. That smile he wanted to protect.

“I’ll miss you.”

He wanted to let go. No more inhibitions or doubts. He wanted to say those words to Joshua before he leaves and when Seungcheol finds him – there’ll be no regrets but it’s wrong, or rather, not for now. Joshua can be overwhelmed by Seungcheol’s confession, there are still so many things left to say, to tell each other.

“Thank you Cheollie. You made my stay better, you actually helped me become better.”

No, Seungcheol, don’t cry. His breathing gets shallow, tears well up on his eyes. Fuck. He’s fucked up. And in love.

Chapter Text

It’s been months since Joshua was released from the house’s care. Everyone’s happy that he’s good to go even still, everyone’s missing him, the Joshua who always stay by the shore, the Joshua who’s smile so gentle that it calms the people in the house, the Joshua who makes bracelet as a hobby – the Joshua that Seungcheol misses the most.

Everything else pretty stayed much the same but not to him, it was different without Joshua and the shore he frequents just became a place to Seungcheol.

But after the pinning, longing, Seungcheol’s in front of an enormous building in Seoul that he took a double look on the address written in a small memo in his hands. Surely, it’s the place, it’s where the driver dropped him off when he told him the destination, still it’s intimidating and overall overwhelming. He should’ve expected it, he’s rich rich but Joshua didn’t act like that, he stayed humble and for who he is, he didn’t flash his money right in front of Seungcheol’s place but sheepishly Seungcheol did forget that Joshua came from the states, was able to afford the rest house.

It’s the first time he’s meeting Joshua since then.

One Sunday, the director of the house called him, slipping the piece of paper with an address written in his hand. He didn’t say what it was, but the look on his face told Seungcheol that it was something he’d like to know and he figured it out that the address was Joshua’s place in Seoul, where he was currently living.

A sigh escaped his lips, he did try his best to look good, even went to the downtown of the rest house to buy new clothes which includes nice set of pants and a white shirt plus a coat, he didn’t want to go overboard but still wants to look good.

Seokmin teased him about going shopping and taking the weekend off, he’d probably rent a room in case their catching-up is short. The other asked him who he’ll be meeting up with and Seungcheol just gave a vague answer that it’s his college friends, and not Joshua because of course, he still thinks it’s inappropriate to meet up with their former patient. And thankfully, Seokmin didn’t probe him further more.

He was sitting at the lounge of the grandiose lobby; he’d say that he’s out of place with his basket of fruits situated on his lap. Seungcheol figured out now it was better to bring flowers instead of fruits, because for sure, Joshua did have his pantry stocked up. Anyways, it was already late to debate whether fruits or flowers which one is a better gift to someone you’ve been missing so much and seeing after months.

Seungcheol, you could’ve gotten both you dumbass

“Choi-sshi?” Seungcheol stood up so fast when a lady from the front desk called him.

“I’ve already informed Hong-sshi of your presence, please just use the elevator, it’s the penthouse on the top floor.”

“Yes, thank you.” He bowed to the lady and grabbed his fruit basket with his sweaty hand. Seungcheol marvels even at the elevator, there’s a security and elevator attendant!

“The penthouse please, thank you.” His heart beat’s getting faster at every floor, he’s not sure if it’s because of the high altitude or he’s just really nervous to meet Joshua, he’d like to think it was the former but it’s really the latter or both.

Seungcheol was in front of the door – the door that has him and Joshua separated for now, he knows that the other’s just inside waiting for him to ring the doorbell which he did, and just after a few seconds, the door opened.

In his all glory, Hong Joshua. There he was, Joshua, he still looks exactly the same but different in a way, but for better he’d like to say. Seungcheol didn’t ogle much at the latter because his heart stopped along with his world when he met Joshua’s eyes.

“Cheollie– “ It took a huge will for Seungcheol not to cry, his heart aching terribly that he can feel it physically, how he missed Joshua.

“I-“

“You’re here.” Seungcheol was planted on his place, and it was Joshua who moved and wrapped his arms around his visitor, there was hesitance if he wanted to hug back but he dropped it along the fruit basket, let’s hope the fruits weren’t battered badly, hugging Joshua so tight, like he was afraid to let him go again.

“I missed you so much.” Joshua’s voice tickles him, he can feel his warm breath brushing his neck. Seungcheol hopes Joshua knows how much he misses him too, just from his hug. He wanted to bury himself from Joshua’s scent, the same vanilla and cinnamon, keep it in a bottle as a perfume.

A minute may have passed before Joshua pulled away, Seungcheol still has his grip on Joshua’s shirt which made the other man laugh softly.

“I’m not going away Cheollie, but we should enter the house, it’s much better there instead of here.” Joshua held his hand, intertwines their fingers and led him inside the astonishing penthouse. Seungcheol felt like a kid but he was giddy – Joshua’s hands were warm and he was more than ecstatic to hold him.

Fuck, Seungcheol’s in love.

They both sat down on the white leather sofa and Seungcheol’s still in shock – he’s holding Joshua’s hand which Joshua noticed, a smile on his face just seeing Seungcheol stare at their laced hands, something he can only imagine in his dreams.

“You have a lovely home.”

“Really? You still haven’t seen it around.” Joshua teasingly replied, and the other flushed on the spot. Of course, even though he still hasn’t seen it around, he knows that Joshua won’t actually settle for less. Heck, the place is a penthouse in a known building – what does it say?

To say it was luxurious is an understatement. Either way, it’s lovely, more so because of the one living in it.

“I didn’t know you’d be visiting today; I could’ve prepared something but I have chicken and beer with me. I was planning to watch a movie – alone but now you’re here, then will you join me for a night?” He asked but for sure he knows Seungcheol’s answer without even waiting for one.

The penthouse was filled with Joshua’s soft laughs - “You’re so adorable Cheollie. I just want to keep you with me but you have let go of my hand so I can place the fruits on the tray and get our Chimaek.” The ever so pouty Seungcheollie finally let go of his hand, but instead of staying still in the sofa, he followed Joshua in the kitchen like a puppy. A good puppy to his master.

The other once again laugh – it’s so melodious in Seungcheol’s ear, liking how happy Joshua is. There’s this light in his face that he saw and in return, it made Seungcheol happy too. In the end, that’s what he’d like for Joshua, that he was happy.

“You can look around you know; I’ll prepare our food and you’re accompanying me for a movie night.”

He didn’t want to leave Joshua but it might be appropriate so he looked around like what the other instructed him to do so, he finally took a good look at the place, it was a white and black tone in general but there are pops of color, like the yellow pot on the corner, the paintings on the wall are colorful abstract, the curtains are in the soft shade of baby blue – like how Seungcheol’s bracelet is so colorful. And the view of Seoul, it was breathtaking and beautiful.

A hand snaked around his hips, “Is it okay for you to stay for a night here? I know I did ask but you didn’t really answer and I don’t want to intrude if you have plans after Cheollie” The question had his ear reddening, he didn’t want to overthink anything but he was more than happy to spend his time with Joshua.

“Yeah, I actually asked for a leave so I can stay with you.”

“Thank you Cheollie!”

Seungcheol was brought back to the living room by Joshua, the other dimmed the lights just so the only lights coming were from the television with a movie on, that Seungcheol don’t know what is and he won’t be able to concentrate either way on the movie.

It seems like it was only Joshua who was watching the movie, they’re both giving comments throughout. Seungcheol was stealing glances on the other, he’s wearing this thin metal framed eyeglasses that fits his face shape, his eyes form this beautiful curve, the dainty hands covering his mouth when he laughs loud.

Some things might have changed but Joshua – he’s still the Joshua that Seungcheol knew and how his heart aches and longs.

And halfway through the movie, finished boxes of chicken and cans of beer littered on the coffee table, Seungcheol felt this surge of courage that he never felt, brought by the alcohol in his system maybe, it was telling him that it’s okay now, that he can go ahead and tell Joshua what he feels. He didn’t want to leave the place with regret and he didn’t want to lose Joshua once again.

“Shua-yah.” The other’s attention was on him the second he called out. “I have something to say to you…”

This is it.

His heart threatening to jump out of his chest but before he can even say anything, there was a pair of lips silencing him, it was soft and it was Joshua’s. Seungcheol’s eyes widen and it took a second more to respond to the kiss, his hand reaching out on Joshua’s, his thumb rubbing on his cheek bone.

He was only dreaming this, to be Joshua’s, and is this his answer? Do they both feel the same? They do right? Seungcheol wanted to make sure so even if he doesn’t want to pull away, he was the one to break the kiss.

“I.. I like y-you Shua, since then, and I wanted to tell you what I feel, I just don’t want to lose you.”

Seungcheol don’t know if he was drunk from the kiss or the beer, but he usually has a high tolerance and it was just beer so he wanted to think it was the latter but before he croaks what more he wanted to say, his whole world was already spinning in his vision, the sound of the movie that was on was slowly fading away from his hearing before it completely goes black.

And the last thing he sees was Joshua with his reassuring smile and a hand cradling his cheek, “Me too, Cheollie. And you’re mine..”

I get so high, oh
Every time you're, every time you're lovin' me

Seungcheol woke up with a pounding headache and the need to puke out everything out of his stomach, his eyes opened wide and his body on reflex gasped for air like he was submerged on water for so long. His arms shackled and that’s when he noticed that his wrists were bound on the head of the bed, even his ankles. He thought he was kidnapped but no, he-

He was with Joshua.

He remembered that he asked for a leave from the rest house to visit Joshua in Seoul, he went to the address of his house given by the director and he was in the pretty penthouse, he brought fruits and they were drinking beer, eating chicken while watching movie.

Seungcheol told him he liked him- sure he did but what was this? He looked around what seems like a room, but there were no lights, even the curtains are closed so his eyes blinked in the darkness and silence. If he listens carefully, he could hear the beating of his heart and puffs of breath – he was panicking but before he slides down to that, the door opened, there was a stream of light that enters but was gone the moment it was closed.

The person who entered the room flicks a switch, opening the dim lights on every corner of the room – it was Joshua.

“Cheollie! I hear the handcuffs so I figured out you’re awake.” Joshua smiled at him, that same smile over and over again, the smile Seungcheol sees and know.

“Joshua, why am I?” He tried to resist against the handcuffs but it was just futile, it’s not some kind of weak plastic toy but a real steel that was biting his skin.

“It’s just to make sure you’re not going to run away.” Joshua turns his back on Seungcheol and goes to a dress cabinet pushed on one side of the room.

“Run away? Why?” Seungcheol is not dumb, yes his brain is a bit murky but he questions either way, just in case Joshua’s joking, he wanted to give the other the benefit of the doubt. He didn’t want to but he knows that fear is slowly enveloping him.

Joshua won’t right? Seungcheol can never be too sure.

“Unchain me. If this is some kind of game, I swear this is not funny at all Shua.”

“Jeonghan also told me that, it’s funny that he’s the one who usually plays prank.”

Jeonghan.

Jeonghan.

Jeonghan.

Seungcheol don’t fucking care about him! Joshua was busy on to something but when he faced Seungcheol, the other’s blood ran cold at the sight – he was holding a syringe and a small bottle of whatever it is which Seungcheol don’t want to know.

He was still, “W-what’s that? N-no Shua, this is not really funny.”

“I don’t aim to be funny at all Cheollie, I am serious. Remember when I said I like you too. But this– “ Joshua pulled the syringe, with drawing the liquid from the bottle to the syringe. “Is something for assurance, see, Jeonghan betrayed me once, he said he won’t leave me but he did Cheollie.”

Hearing ‘Cheollie’ out of Joshua’s mouth sends chill in his bone.

“I don’t deserve to be left Cheollie and to make sure you won’t, you won’t leave me like Jeonghan did, I needed to make sure you stay because that’s what love is, right? You’d stay and we’d be together.”

Joshua sat down on his side and caresses his face with his free hand, “You love me right Cheollie?” His hand was cold and Seungcheol’s brain processed what those hands can do, those dainty hands that were once making bracelets. Hands he longs to hold. Joshua’s hands that were dirty and icy.

Seungcheol just wanted to go back to the rest house, back when he didn’t know who Joshua is and fell in love.

“This is wrong Joshua, please don’t do this.”

“Why are you crying Cheollie? Don’t you want to be with me? You even went here all the way from that fucking rest house.” Joshua held his bare thigh, his nails digging on his skin and Seungcheol can’t help but wince in pain, it was drawing blood already. His expression is hard and his lips in a thin line, he can feel his patience running thin with how Seungcheol is acting.

“Please no Joshua, this is wrong, we can talk about this, I-I won’t leave you.”

“Bullshit!” Joshua shouted on his face and Seungcheol’s wide eyes with tears streaming down his face looked back at him. “That was what Jeonghan told me that he won’t leave me but in the end he did. I don’t want that to happen again. Fuck it hurts Seungcheol, I feel like I’m going crazy. I love you and I don’t want to go through that pain again, I needed to do this.”

This Joshua was wicked and sick, whatever it was that Jeonghan went through in his hands, he silently prays that no other after him goes through it.

“We’d be together, even forever Cheollie. I don’t need Jeonghan, he can rot wherever he is. I only need you with me.” Joshua leaned to kiss his forehead and Seungcheol only felt it when he stabbed his thigh with the syringe, pushing the liquid in his system.

“I’ll take care of you Cheollie, I’d love you until I can’t anymore.”

And then, Seungcheol closes his eyes – with no one to save him from Joshua’s love.

For you, I would cross the line
I would waste my time
I would lose my mind
They say, "She's gone too far this time"

“I’ll go now handsome, don’t miss me too much.” Jeonghan in his work clothes, the weather’s chilly outside which is why he was wearing a brown coat and a scarf which he used to wrap around Joshua’s neck, pulling him closer and slotting his thigh in between his captured husband’s leg.

“You minx.” Joshua isn’t surprised with his husband’s bold action. He knows perfectly how capable he is in seducing his husband. Definitely a vixen.

“You love this minx.” Yes he does. God heavens, he really do.

“I do love you. I don’t think that ring in your ring finger is enough but yes, Mr. Hong-Yoon Jeonghan. I love you with all I have.” He finishes his cheesy announcement of his love for his husband with a kiss on his forehead, his hand rubbing the protruding hip bone which he loves to kiss and mark. The other failed to hide a smile and a soft giggle.

“As much as I want to stay and do more productive activities with you.” The tease of his husband openly eyes Joshua, raking his eyes on his body with sultry and meaningful looks. Productive activities in bed.

“Don’t tempt me Mr. Hong. You won’t be able to walk on the runway if you keep up with that.” The heat of Joshua’s statement made Jeonghan whimper softly. His husband’s threats are no joke, he fulfills it with such tenacity.

“I have a shoot with Eissa, you know how cranky he gets when I’m late.” Jeonghan takes back his scarf and plants a goodbye kiss on Joshua’s lips, closing the door behind him before he can go and present himself to Joshua, served in a silver platter – ready to be devoured and eaten whole.

Joshua stays planted on his place and stares at the closed door, there’s this eerie expression on his face as he wait for minutes to pass, contrary to just seconds ago while Jeonghan was flirting with him.

And when he’s sure that his husband won’t be coming back – in case he forgets something in their house which he habitually does.

The house was quiet when Joshua’s alone unlike when Jeonghan’s at home, it’s filled with laughter, happiness, music – tell tales that someone is living inside this lovely house situated in one of the exclusive places in Los Angeles. Only the best for them.

He walks back his office and pulls out his phone, calling that one person he’s been meaning to have a chitchat with, knowing this was the perfect time to call, “Manager-nim!” There was lilt of cheeriness in his voice, something that people notice and say that it was contagious, the happiness – something that Joshua has perfected.

“Ah yes, Jeonghan just left a few minutes ago. I made sure to call you when he’s not around, it’s just, I’m going to be direct because I need to ask for a favor.” Joshua sat down on his swivel chair and watches the sun fully rise up against the thin fog, which covers the view of the downtown with sunlight.

“I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness manager-nim, I just need his schedule.”  The other person on the line happily squealed, joyful to help someone in need, young love she says.

“The truth is I’m planning to prepare a surprise for him. My husband has been working so hard and I think he needs something to cool him off.” Joshua laughs at what Jeonghan’s manager replied.

“Jeonghan deserves all the good, really good things. I’m planning on bringing him somewhere, just us alone.”

“I’ll inform you when we needed day-offs, and yes, please keep it a secret from him. Thank you so much manager-nim, you’re a saviour.”

After minutes of flattery and series of honeyed words, Joshua was happy to drop the call and take a sip of his hot coffee that Jeonghan brewed before he left, he makes the best coffee and only that, other than it they both know he can’t be trusted in the kitchen. He knows well that Joshua prefers his coffee creamy and sweet but still with tinge of bitterness from the roasted beans. It was steaming hot but it was just nothing, rather it soothes his throat.

His peaceful morning was disturbed with another call but this was not from his work phone, it was a call on his private phone and an unknown number, probably a temporary number used to call him. He answered it without any pleasantries, it's all for business.

“I’m actually expecting your call, and yes, I received the pictures you sent– “ He opened his laptop and logged into a separate account, the most recent email contain attachments.

Attachments which include pictures of Jeonghan – Jeonghan meeting someone in a discreet café far from their usual, laughing and talking to a man, there were shots of him drinking an ade whilst he bit on his straw, a habit he carried which says he was rather feeling giggly. Joshua understands each of his habit, for years he had known Jeonghan, he already studied his mannerisms without the other knowing it himself.

Pictures of the other man he was meeting up sneakily touching his husband’s hand, arm, tucking a stray hair of his husband on his ear. They look like high school couple out on a date, perfectly happy and in love.

Kim Mingyu was the name of the other man. Joshua is acquainted with him when Jeonghan introduced them to each other during one of their modelling events. Where Jeonghan is, there’s Mingyu in work. They’ve graced the front covers of various magazine together, walked together in runways, beautiful and striking artists in the industry.

Joshua knows. He knows and there’s no way he’d not know. What others say, the people they’ve worked with, the casual people who see them in the internet.

“You know what to do, scare him – don’t touch him yet, that pretty face is such a waste but make sure he’d tuck his tail in between his legs.” Joshua leaned back his chair, still staring at the pictures laid out in front of him, going through each one of them, he’s mostly studying Jeonghan’s expression and cues when he’s with Mingyu.

He shifted his tab into a banking account, a hidden account which he usually uses for suspicious transaction, like this one where he wires a huge sum of money to another. An account that Jeonghan doesn’t know.

“Consider it done. I’m expecting a seamless job or else–“ Joshua laughs, it’s chilling and hollow. “Oh no, I’m not worried, you’re good at it right which is why I hired you.” The mug of coffee sits on his coaster, empty.

Don't blame me, love made me crazy

Soon that peace Joshua tried so hard to keep inside the corners of his office and pretended it was there was broken when Jeonghan came barging in which surprised him, it’s too early for him to be home.

“What’s this?” He threw a creased envelope on Joshua’s table, his eyebrows furrowed at the attitude his husband is pulling right now.

Either so, he took the said envelope and poured the contents out, pictures, small black pieces of broken device littered on the surface. But what catches his attention are the hard copy of pictures of Jeonghan and Mingyu, those that he was just staring at weeks ago.

So Jeonghan knows.

“Why are you showing me these?” Of course, Joshua knows how to keep up with his act, like he was unbothered with the whole fuss Jeonghan is throwing. He flashes to his husband the very picture where if no one knows, they’d say his husband and someone else is intimate with each other.

There was a moment of recognition that had taken Jeonghan aback, but he was quick to comeback. This was not about him after all.

“Don’t you dare play dumb with me Shua. You know all these. You are the one who planned all of this.” His voice was dripping with venom towards Joshua, he was so sure that it was his husband who set up everything.

Oh he’d really play dumb, avoiding the accusations like plague. There was a minute of silence, he was calm which was opposite to the brewing thunders and storms in Jeonghan, his gaze lands on Jeonghan’s bloodied and scratched hand, the knuckles swollen in this ugly shade.

“What happened to your hand?”

He can’t help asking, even with the whole situation he was still concerned with his husband. But his question was answered with a maniac laugh from Jeonghan – he was getting crazy with how Joshua is acting up but he indulges on the question.

Joshua and his fucked-up plans got him and them, their marriage here.

“This? I got this when I beat up your rat. The very one you paid to follow me around, put trackers in my cars, takes pictures of me and fucking bug me up. That one Joshua! And don’t you dare deny it– you’re sick in the head with what you’re doing to me. I can’t stomach all of this.” He came face to face with Joshua, his gaze fiery and scalding that if it can kill, Joshua will be deep 6 feet.

Just before Jeonghan’s saccharine voice lulls Joshua, but now it holds such anger right for the very man he was just saying “I love you” last night.

Joshua was cornered then, if that person really did spilled things to Jeonghan then there’s no point in denying – he was actually ready to say something as his alibi, perfectly believable but some fucktard has no zip in their mouth, Joshua should’ve shut him up the first place so there’s no living evidence left.

He stood up and walked around, towering Jeonghan and trapping him on his table. If this is how it’s gonna be, then he will let it be, hell will bend first before he convinces Jeonghan.

“You’re definitely hiding something from me then, Jeonghan-ah, is it that boy toy of yours? What’s his name again? Kim Mingyu? Were you afraid when he started pulling away from you, like he wasn’t fully serious with his feelings for you?”

“Just what the fuck are you talking about?”

“What I’m saying is Jeonghan-ah, that I am your husband, I am the one you love and you married. There’s no changing that.” Joshua leaned and whispered those words to his ear, the other flinched and Joshua took that second of weakness to cover Jeonghan’s mouth and nose with a handkerchief damp with chloroform, enough to make his husband sleepy.

The other obviously resists but Joshua is a lot stronger than he thinks, stronger than he is, he’s no fine china that would break. So, his attempt to break free is vain.

Everything clouds his vision and consciousness. He fell deep holding on to Joshua.

“Sleep well my love.”

Joshua found himself sitting on a lounge chair on the corner of the room, it was Jeonghan’s reading corner when the latter spends his time during his day off. The former was just waiting for his dear husband to wake up from his nightmare and just in cue, Jeonghan shifts on the bed, a small groan left his lips.

His eyes flutter and his sense of sight adjusts to the darkness of the room, only a small lamp at the corner lights up. His head was throbbing, that’s when it registered to him the predicament he was in – illegally held against his will by his husband.

Jeonghan tried pulling the cuffs that kept him bound but it only ends up biting his skin which made him hiss, Jeonghan never likes being hurt or in pain. All of these is seen by Joshua, still not noticed by his husband on the bed.

“Stop pulling them Hannie, you’d end up chaffing your wrists. And we don’t want that don’t we?” Jeonghan was startled at his voice, the owner of the said voice stood up and walks towards him, the bed dips when he sat down beside Jeonghan.

“Let me fucking go.” God of course, Jeonghan was never the one to listen.

Right now, he doesn’t care whether his wrists get cut off – he just needed to get away, away from Joshua. Funny how Jeonghan would cling to Joshua everytime, never want to be away from him but now, he feels his skin prickling just being near him.

“Look at me Hannie.”

“Never… ever call me like that.” Hearing such intimate nickname out of his lips made Jeonghan tense and this time, he knows better.

Joshua don’t deserve to utter his name.

“You’re scaring me.” Jeonghan didn’t know what took over him, maybe the adrenaline was running thin but he uttered those words. Deep inside, fear starts to creep in his bones, enveloping him with the anxiety of what might happen to him.

Joshua looked at him stunned. And there was a brief flash of sadness and pain in his eyes. Jeonghan was about to be swayed but, this Joshua is not the Joshua he fell in love with, not the man he married, not the man he vowed to be with forever. Not the Joshua Jeonghan knows.

He was crumbling down under Joshua’s eyes but everything poured out like faucet – he was hurt by the man he trusted, the man he loved. “You stalked me. You made someone else follow me, put trackers in my car and things, bug in my phone, invade my privacy like… you never trusted me at all.” His voice breaks down at his last words.

I vow to always put my trust in you, when everyone else turn their backs on you, I’d be there by your side.

“I trust you.. Heck, even when my life is on the edge, I’d put it on your hands.” Joshua reached out for Jeonghan’s cheeks trailed with tears he didn’t know was already flowing free, his hands were a bit shaky but Jeonghan turned his head away from Joshua’s hand. Like he didn’t want to be touched or comforted.

Your hand I’ll forever hold, never I’ll let go.

“I trust you but not the people around you. Jeonghan-ah, that Mingyu was flirting with you– “

“He’s not!” Joshua was genuinely shocked at how determined his husband is to defend that Mingyu. And if that didn’t pierce his heart to pieces.

“He is Jeonghan. He wanted to take you away from me.” Joshua don’t know how he’d pick pieces of himself. His will to reason out dwindles down, Jeonghan was too deep for Mingyu. He felt so lost, alone even though Jeonghan is just right by his side. He wanted to scream but will there be someone who’d hear him? When his own husband doesn’t anymore.

I’d be your shoulder to cry on, ears to listen to your rumbles, I’d be your home.

“You’re crying… for him.”

He stated the obvious, as if he was convincing himself that what’s happening is real, to make himself believe that Jeonghan is not his anymore. And that was what pushed Joshua to the edge, if Jeonghan can’t be his then no one else can have him.

“If that so, then you don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

“No.. What did you to Mingyu?” His eyes went wide at how everything escalated, Jeonghan looked at him right in the eyes and all he sees are blank orbs staring right at him, black and soul less, diabolic.

“HONG JISOO!”

Joshua ignored his pleas and cries, stood up and went to the mahogany cabinet placed against the wall, “You’re crying for another man. Are you planning on running away with him huh’? Leave me alone while you’re happy with someone else? Is that it Jeonghan?”

Joshua’s questions were spine-chilling and his voice void of anything, droplets of cold sweat forms on Jeonghan and something is his stomach churns uncomfortably. When he manages to make out what’s in Joshua’s hands, he felt himself stiffen.

“We’ve been happy for so long, we loved each other. And Jeonghan, I remember each one of our milestones.” Each one of it– from their first date, to when they proposed to each other, their dream wedding, moving in together and here they are, they were about to adopt and build a family together.

“You’re mine. Until I say you’re not.”

“Please no, Shua don’t do this please.” Jeonghan was full on sobbing. He was begging for his life, his life at Joshua’s mercy.

“Now you’re calling me Shua. You were just cursing my name a while ago, I know you wanted to erase it in your memories, remove me in your life. But Jeonghan-ah-” His husband looked at him when he called his name tenderly, how he wanted to forget all of these and just have Joshua back in his life and his arms. The love of his life. “I just.. love you so much, is that wrong?”

“That’s not love..” He let himself be caressed by Joshua.

“If that so, then I don’t know what is. I’ll die without you Hannie.” That fleeting moment, was the second Jeonghan played in his mind, his love for Joshua. And that was also the time he forced the prick of the needle to him.

“Till death do us apart Jeonghan.”

“Till death do us apart.”

“It happened again?”

“Yes sir.” A man in full black suit faced the glass wall that was overseeing the whole New York downtown whilst he was drinking a glass of whiskey. The alcohol swirls along with the ice gently.

“What did Joshua do this time?” There was a moment of silence before the second man in the room answered.

“It was the same with Yoon Jeonghan-sshi, he did it to the nurse in the rest house we sent him to, Choi Seungcheol-sshi is his name.”

“And Joshua? How… is he?”

“Your son is alright sir, but sir, he’s not safe out there, both to himself and for others. We can’t keep on cleaning it and pushing it under the rug, the second time around is not an accident anymore. He needs– “

“Mr. Kim– I paid you a good amount to do your job, as long as you cleaned it up, nothing’s traceable and will be leaked to the media then I suggest you do what you needed to do.” He cuts of the other with a tone of his voice that is clipped and final, it doesn’t invite any rebuttals or reasoning which Mr. Kim sensed.

“I apologize for overstepping sir. We’ll take care of other matters, and Joshua too– “

Chapter Text

Here’s my end note again, I’m planning that on every fic I end I’ll add an end note because I want to talk for a moment about these precious babies.

And if you guys want to say smth or anything so I'm not just babbling alone ksdgfsds

Unlike my other fic, this one didn’t come from any song? Or so from what I remember but, BUT I just discovered the perfect song for this mwehehehe the song together with the story made me feel things

My name is whatever you decide
And I'm just gonna call you mine
I'm insane, but I'm your baby (your baby)
Echoes (echoes) of your name inside my mind
Halo, hiding my obsession
I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy

- Don’t blame me by Taylor Swift

It's such a roller coaster ride, like I said, the whole plot is in the second chapter. I feel bad to Seungcheol and Jeonghan, my pooor babies had to suffer on Joshua’s hands even Mingyu ajfhsjdghfsd And Mingyu, he’s the perfect cameo and sacrificial lamb skjdhfshd so sorry babie

What can I say, Joshua is obsessed and it's scary (´;︵;`)

Joshua by the shore reminds me of Joshua in Home MV, though his body build is more from today, kind of bulky sdkfhsdfj

Thank you for listening to my ted talk!