Archive of Our Own

He stirred the teabag around the cup, squeezing it against the side before taking it out and walking around the kitchen, hunting for the food recycling bin. With no success, he resorted to leaving it on the side of the sink. He’ll figure something out later, at least he won’t be here long.

Honestly, what kind of idiot turns their heating off when they’re away from home for three days in the middle of February?

Jan, apparently. He was that idiot. So his pipes froze, then one burst, and now his house was “uninhabitable” until the plumber managed to drain the water from his downstairs bathroom, the electrician had checked that nothing behind the wall was going to explode, and the insurance company were able to work out how much he’d need for some new flooring. Honestly, trying to save the environment was more trouble than it was worth sometimes.

At least none of his belongings were damaged. Not that he had many, his house still didn’t feel particularly homely after five months. Maybe, subconsciously, he knew he wouldn’t enjoy London so he didn’t bother decorating too much. Maybe he just didn’t want to enjoy it here. But things were, at long last, starting to look up. He was getting closer to his teammates; it was inevitable, really, with all the away-game movie nights Ted organised. He’d had a lovely Christmas with some of them, and was now more comfortable joining them in clubs and bars or wherever Keeley asked them to go that weekend. He’s still not too sure he’d call them all friends per se, but they were definitely dependable. And then Colin, as his ‘neighbour’ in the dressing room, had overheard him on the phone this morning and insisted he stay in his spare room tonight. Jan had tried to argue; it’s not like he couldn’t afford a fancy hotel for a couple of nights, and he didn’t want to cross a line by imposing himself in Colin’s private sanctuary. He hasn’t ever invited anyone to his own house for a reason. But the Welshman turned out to be very persuasive and refused to budge, which is how Jan was now a temporary resident Chez Hughes. Unfortunately for him, Colin’s chaotic brand of organisation in football extended to every aspect of his life, including his kitchen layout. Dropping a dash of milk into one cup and a sugar cube into the other, he head back through to the living room, where Colin was watching a cooking show with so-called celebrities. At least this part was easy enough.

“Cheers, boyo, you didn’t have to!” It was already Colin’s third cup of tea since they’d arrived an hour ago, so Jan thought it was only fair to try and help out. “Here’s to your first night! Mi casa es su casa, or whatever they say, make yourself comfy!”

They clinked their cups together, Colin’s grin impossible to respond to negatively. “Cheers, Colin. And thanks again.” He smiled back, watching as Colin blew on his tea before taking a sip.

“We’re teammates, mate! You’re always welcome!” Maybe tonight would be more bearable than he’d expected.

By the time the clock struck 10, the two men had exhausted themselves of trashy reality TV, and Colin had shooed Jan upstairs without letting him help tidy up. Rustling through his toilet bag, then his rucksack, Jan huffed. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember picking up his toothbrush as he threw his overnight bag together. Typical.

He walked out into the hallway and shouted down the stairs. “Colin?” A noise came in response. “Do you have a spare toothbrush? I’ve forgotten mine.”

“Don’t worry, boyo, I keep some spares in my en-suite!” the chirpy voice came back. “Top-left-hand drawer under the sink!”

He padded through to Colin’s room and turned the light on. Nothing remarkable. The walls were pale blue, and the bedspread had some kind of greyscale geometric pattern on it, but something still felt off. It was too impersonal, nothing immediately screamed Colin, unlike the rest of his house which was cluttered with sporting memorabilia and holiday souvenirs from the last twenty-something years. There were no photos here, no memories, no... spark. Jan kept moving through to the clinically tiled en-suite, scanning the unit under the sink. Top-left drawer. He pulled it open. There didn’t appear to be any toothbrushes... but in their place lay three unmistakable boxes of condoms and two bottles of lube, one of which actually had the term ‘backdoor’ on the peeling label... oh god, there was also a plastic tub with the outlines of things Jan most definitely wasn’t meant to see inside. Colin must have meant the top-right drawer. He should just close it and look for what he needed, pretend he never saw any of this and ignore its existence. But he couldn’t help himself. One box of condoms was unopened, they were flavoured, apparently. He ran his fingers across the extra safe box. The top had been completely torn off; Jan imagined what circumstances would have led to them needing to be opened so quickly and carelessly. He clearly wasn’t supposed to know about this drawer, but now that he had... could it be what he thought? He suddenly heard the thunderous sound of feet galloping up the stairs and storming into the bedroom. Jan pushed the drawer shut and walked out of the bathroom stiffly, meeting a similarly pale Colin in the doorway.

“I meant the top-right drawer.” The two men stared at each other. Jan could deny he’d even opened any drawers, but what good would that do?

“You have condoms and lubricant in there, Colin.”

Colin simply blinked. “I do have condoms and lubricant in there, yes, I realise that now.”

Jan gulped. The urge to know the truth overtook him. “Are they... do you use them with men?”

The side of Colin’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t drop his gaze from Jan’s eyes. “Yes. I have sex with men, Jan. Do you- Is that a problem?”

He took a step closer, hearing the erratic breaths of the man in front of him. But Colin had puffed his chest out, standing assuredly as he stared up at Jan, clearly expecting a confrontation. Jan tried to sound calm, he couldn’t let this escalate. “No. It’s not a problem.”

Colin flattened his mouth as he exhaled, shoulders and chest sinking a bit. “Good. Okay. Fine.” But his eyes remained blown-out and worried. “’Cause if you did have a problem that wouldn’t be great, you know? I can’t have you feeling uncomfortable staying here, then you’d probably want to move spots in the dressing room in case you think I’m eyeing you up, we don’t want that, no. But you’re okay with it, which is cool, so I don’t have to worry about that. But you could still tell the lads, y’know, or maybe you’d rather go straight to the press and tell them what a piece of shit I am, kick me under the bus and get me fired, but you’ve said it’s okay, so...”

Fuck, he knew where this was heading. Colin was spiralling. Jan had lost track of what he was actually saying, too concerned by his scarily robotic expression and delivery. Fearing the other man might pass out if he continued talking without stopping for breath, Jan swooped to rest an arm around him, guiding him back to sit on the bed as he kept babbling incoherently. Not sure what to do now, he kneeled in front of Colin, resting a hand on each of the Welshman’s knees to try and refocus him. “Colin?” He tried to catch his eye, but Colin was focussed on the wardrobe straight ahead of him, still talking. “Colin.” Louder this time, but the other man wasn’t stopping. “Colin!” Jan was getting desperate now, so he covered Colin’s balled fists with his own hands, lifting them off the bed and holding them close to his chest. “Colin, it’s okay! I’m your friend, you’re okay.”

The sudden silence was jarring. Colin’s head slumped forward, heavy upon his neck, and before long the sound of his rapid breathing was filling the room. Jan could feel the vibrations of the smaller man’s hands through his own, only leading him to hold onto them tighter. “Colin, shh, look at me; it’s just me. You’re okay.” He cast his mind back to what Doctor Sharon had taught him during their first session when he confessed to occasionally panicking about leaving his house. “Let’s breathe together Colin, okay? I’ll count. Can you do that with me?”

His loud gasps were the only sound between them, but Colin managed a nod, eyes still firmly closed.

“Okay, let’s breathe in, two, three four, that’s perfect, Colin, now hold it...”

He watched as the smaller man scrunched his face, focussed on breathing alongside Jan’s words. Bit by bit, his hands stopped shaking. His face softened. And although his eyes remained shut, Jan knew he was now talking directly to him.

“I don’t... can you stay with me tonight please? I don’t think I can be alone.”

The Welshman sitting on the bed looked tiny. Jan kept hold of his hands, rubbing them with his own in a way he hoped was grounding. “Of course.” But neither man moved, their breaths finally synchronised in a soft rhythm. There was so much left to say, but it felt nothing like the right time. Jan peered back up at Colin’s face, meeting the other man’s glassy green eyes for the first time. His heart temporarily froze.

“I’ll just, uh...” Did Colin feel that too? He pulled back hastily, scooting sideways on the bed to stand up beside Jan, “I’ll get you a toothbrush then we can sleep, okay?”

Colin shuffled into the bathroom, hunting through drawers and turning on taps. Jan couldn’t move from his spot, still kneeling in front of the bed where Colin had sat mere seconds earlier. The bed he was apparently sleeping in tonight. This wasn’t weird, he was just helping a friend in need. Jan could relate. It might even help him as much as it would help Colin.

It was dark when he woke up, and he still felt exhausted, but the pressure in his bladder was too uncomfortable to ignore any longer. Opening his eyes and letting them adjust to the dark surroundings, he froze in shock. His arm and leg were wrapped completely around another body. Colin’s body. Shit. He moved slowly so as not to awaken the sleeping man, rolling onto his back and gently twisting his limbs off the side of the bed, so he could tiptoe to the bathroom just a few metres away. When he was done, he’d probably try to sneak back into the spare room to avoid making the morning weird. But once he’d pulled the string to turn off the light and pushed the door back open, the lamp at Colin’s side of the bed was on, illuminating the man now sitting up slightly under the covers. They looked at each other sleepily before Colin patted the empty space beside him, Jan’s cue to climb back in. “You okay?”

Colin nodded. “Sorry about earlier.”

“There’s literally nothing to be sorry about, Colin. Don’t worry.”

“Okay. Sorry.” Jan shook his head at that. If he could buy self-esteem on the black market and give it all to Colin, he absolutely would. The brunet looked back to him, eyes bright as he whispered. “You’re the only one who knows. From the team, at least.”

“You can trust me, I won’t say a thing.” A moment of silence hung over them, Jan had so many questions but no idea where to start. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

A low snicker emitted from the man beside him. “No. No boyfriend. A fuckbuddy, if you want to call it that. Just a lad I meet up with sometimes.”

Jan paused. “Is he nice?”

He sighed. “He’s alright. I know he’s not gonna go to the press or anything like that, which is something. We’ve got a sort of...” Jan could feel Colin’s eyes on him. “It’s complicated.”

“How so?”

Colin pulled his legs towards him, wrapping his arms around his ankles protectively as he pondered the words to say. “He plays in the Prem. Not out, same as me. It’s easy, convenient, does the job.”

The pit in his stomach couldn’t be explained. He recognised the reluctance to date openly, but there must’ve been more that wasn’t being said. He missed Colin’s smile. “Do you enjoy it?”

“Jesus, Jan, I didn’t expect the bloody Spanish Inquisition!” He bit his lip, but kept studying Jan’s face. At some point, he bit the bullet and decided he really could trust him. “Sometimes he can be a bit, I dunno. Selfish. Knows what he likes and only wants that, every time. Never really checks in with what I’m feeling.” He sighed, but carried on before Jan could say what he was really thinking about this chap. “I know I should probably just stop it for my own good, but every time I’m speaking to someone online, I’m terrified they’re gonna recognise me and sell me out to the papers. And do I really want to risk my entire career for a shag? Not really.”

Jan nodded, resigned. “I can understand that.”

“Anyway enough, about me. Are you seeing anyone? You never join in with Jamie and Isaac’s shenanigans when we’re out.” Colin crossed his legs underneath him, opening up fully to the Dutchman beside him. Jan mirrored him, gradually adapting to whatever was happening. Is this what friends did?

“No. Not since I moved here.”

Colin whistled. “That’s a long time, boyo. No one take your fancy?”

“No, I, emm...” He stared back at Colin, unsure how much more was worth revealing. He’d never really done this before; chat about his personal life so casually. Colin didn’t care, surely? “I had a bad break-up last year. Awful, actually. I thought moving here would help me get over it, but I still haven’t met anyone worth moving on with.”

“That’s rough, mate, I’m sorry.” An arm found its way around his shoulders, the warmth of Colin’s torso now leaning against Jan’s. “She must’ve been really special.”

Closing his eyes, Jan exhaled shakily. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done this, but if he had to, he’s glad it was here. “He.”

“What?”

“He was really special. And I fucked it all up.”

“Hey, Jan, don’t say that.” He felt Colin’s hand squeeze his shoulder, his voice had perked up significantly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He’d come this far, he might as well take advantage of having someone who might understand. “We’d been together since we were sixteen, all in secret, naturally. He kept talking about how much he wanted to get married and buy a big house in the countryside and have kids, all the usual happy family stuff. But I wanted to win the Eredivisie, win the Champions League, the World Cup and the Euros... You know yourself; you can’t do that with a husband.” Water he hadn’t expected fell from his eyes as he blinked, turning everything around him blurry. “He told me...” His breath caught in the back of his throat, but he knew he had to keep going. Just sensing Colin’s focus on him was pushing him forward. “He told me I had to choose between him and football. And, well. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Oh, Jan.” He was now being pulled into Colin’s arms, the shorter man holding him tightly against his chest. “I’m so glad you’re here now. It’ll get better, I promise.”

“Yeah. I hope so.” His heart fluttered at the sensation of Colin’s hand scratching at the back of his head. He was touch starved. It didn’t mean anything else. That would be totally inappropriate. He let himself enjoy the feeling of being held by his teammate for another minute, taking in the sound of his heartbeat and the smell of his neck. He didn’t want to make tonight any weirder. “Thanks, Colin. Shall we sleep?”

Colin pulled away, biting the inside of his gum sheepishly. “That’s a good idea.” He slid back down the bed, but paused before moving to turn off the lamp. “You can go back next door if you want, I don’t want to hold you hostage.”

Turning away from the other man, Jan sucked in his cheeks. He could go back next door, but something was stopping him. “I’m okay. It’s warm here.” He wasn’t sure if that was the real reason. However, Colin must’ve been convinced, only humming once as he clicked his lamp off.

Jan lay on his side, facing the wall, already missing having Colin lie against him. He closed his eyes and tried to empty his head, but Colin’s soft voice drew him back in.

“So, I don’t wanna be presumptuous, but are you...?”

“Gay? Yes.”

A sniff. Then a pause. Just as Jan closed his eyes for a second time, Colin spoke again.

“So you really meant it when you said you didn’t have a problem with me?”

He couldn’t stop his mouth from curling into a smile. “Yes, Colin, I really meant it.”

“Okay. Just checking.”

They lay silently, Jan’s heartbeat racing through his eardrum as he shuffled on his pillow. “Good night, Colin.”

“Nos dda, Jan.”

Colin’s alarm, unsurprisingly, was a stupidly loud Drake song he’d heard him play in the dressing room before. When it started blaring after nowhere near enough sleep, Jan found himself face to face with the smaller man, entwined around each other like vines on a tree. Colin’s grip was deceptively strong for someone who avoided the weight room as much as possible. A hand reached out, patting aimlessly on the bed around him, until the other man properly woke up and spun around to silence the alarm. It was cold without him there.

“Morning, Jan.”

“Good morning, Colin.” He attempted to wipe the sleep from his eyes quickly so he could get out and make this less awkward.

“So, I don’t want to be weird, but about last night...” Colin apparently didn’t get the memo about pretending the last few hours never happened.

“It’s fine. There’s nothing to say, really. I’ll shower next door.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed to stand up, but not before turning back to look at Colin. The Welshman’s eyes were burning a hole in the bedspread below him, shoulders slumped and frown painted on his face. Damn it. He sat back down, meeting Colin’s gaze as he looked back up. “Sorry. What did you want to say?”

Colin closed his eyes as he inhaled, trembling. “Just... Thanks, really. I’ve never had a mate before to actually, y’know, talk to about any of that sort of stuff before.” He glanced back at Jan, mouth pursed. “Thanks as well for sharing your... thing. I promise I won’t tell a soul.”

He’d never been a big hugger, but he couldn’t help himself; opening his arms and leaning into Colin just seemed like the right thing to do. Jan soon felt a pair of arms wrap around his own waist, followed closely by the tickle of Colin’s fluffy hair against his neck. Dare he admit he almost enjoyed the physical contact of the last few hours... it had been a while. It was nice. It was wonderful, even. Eventually, Colin’s hands on his back loosened and he took his cue to slip away, trying not to look to upset it was over. Glancing back to Colin, who was smiling at him like some happy hug angel, the realisation hit him like a tonne of bricks. He was pale and brunette, slim but toned, kind and patient. Everything Jan needed right now. The total opposite of Luca.

Fuck.

He needed to get out of there, and he needed to get out of there fast. “We’d better get ready, can’t be late and let coach down!” Practically leaping across the bed and into the hallway, he slammed the door of the spare room closed and rest his head against the wall. This couldn’t happen. There was no way he could let this happen. No matter how nice Colin’s red boxer briefs looked in the daylight.

“Have you heard anything about your house?” It was the first thing Colin had been able to say to him since arriving at training, Jan making sure to listen intently to Jamie’s Bantr woes or Bumbercatch’s rant about his broken dishwasher or Richard’s... French. Not that he was intentionally avoiding Colin today, he was just trying not to spend too long looking at him or thinking about him. It hadn’t worked.

He ran a hand through his hair. “No, nothing yet. Don’t worry, I can stay in a hotel tonight, I don’t want to get in the way.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, boyo, you know you’re always welcome!” Colin shuffled his feet underneath him. “I, eh...” He looked around, making sure everyone else was too engrossed in their own conversations to hear. “I already told him I couldn’t do tonight. Think he’s taken the huff now, he’s not used to not getting his way. Would much rather have another night just hanging out with you anyway, albeit with less panic than last night!”

It took Jan a second to catch onto who Colin was talking about. “Shit! No, really, I can find somewhere else!” Colin looked startled, darting his eyes around the room to make sure nobody had noticed. “Seriously, I don’t want to ruin your thing.”

A scoff. “Oh fuck right off, you’re doing nothing of the sort!” A hand was now on his knee. Jan could tell his cheeks and forehead were turning pink. “Anyway, it felt quite good saying no. I was thinking of you, actually: I was being honest, and if he doesn’t like it, that’s not my problem!”

Colin sat proudly, meanwhile Jan wasn’t sure how he was still upright. His face and arms were on fire, meanwhile he’d lost all feeling in his arms and legs, apart from the weight of Colin’s hand still on his knee. Colin had said he was thinking about him. Why, just why did he have to say that today? And where had these thoughts about Colin even come from? He was going to download every app in existence tonight and get back in the game, because he needed to meet more gay men if this was how he reacted around the only one he knew. A single “oh” was all he could muster.

“Shower then I’ll drive us back to mine? Might need to stop via the shops for some more tea!” A hand on his shoulder, another flash of his beaming smile, and Colin turned around to rid himself of his dirty training kit. If he had any idea of what Jan was thinking right now, he hid it well, grabbing his towel and wandering off into the shower room with Dani at his side.

His phone was still showing no new notifications, other than a voice note from an old friend at Twente and what looked like a meme from Arlo. No plumber. Another night with Colin. It would be fine, right? At least it couldn’t be as awkward as last night.

“Last night, when you said your... friend only does what he wants. What did you mean?” Jan had lost interest in whatever Champions League match was playing in the background after only a couple of minutes, his mind instead replaying the events of the last twenty-four hours in an endless loop. It wasn’t exactly standard dinner table chat, but luckily Colin only had a coffee table, which they’d pulled closer to the couch to eat off of. Jan had the inexplicably pressing need to know his friend was alright, all he’d seen so far when Colin spoke about him were red flags.

With a sigh, Colin lay his fork down. “How much detail do you want?”

“You Brits are all prudes, sex is sex! We’re both gay! Try me.” Why was he doing this to himself?

Colin nearly opened his mouth to argue, but instead simply shook his head at Jan’s straightforward reply. He answered softly. “Every single time, he just wants me on all fours, to pull my hair and- ” he leaned closer into Jan, breath tickling his ear, “choke me.”

Jan’s insides were churning, but he didn’t dare move any further from Colin. Hopefully he had enough stubble to disguise his blush. “And you don’t like that?” Maybe it was the lighting, but Colin’s face appeared a bit flushed too.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was fucking mindblowing the first couple of times!” Jan released the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. “I’d just like to, I dunno, do something different now and then. Suck his dick. Eat his arse. Top him. Even just missionary or spooning or something so I can look into his eyes and kiss him, so I feel more like an actual active participant and not just a sex toy. Is that too much to ask?”

Jan answered sincerely. “I don’t think it’s too much at all.”

A brief smile, then Colin slid back to where he’d been sitting previously, a sudden coldness on his thigh. They went back to their dinner, however the squeak of cutlery against their plates too much for Jan. “Have you done that sort of stuff before?”

A gulp. “Yeah, a couple of times. Before Ha – I mean, before this guy – I hooked up with a few guys on apps and stuff. Used a fake name, obviously, made sure they weren’t footie fans. Tried a bit of everything. Enjoyed it all.” They fell back into silence, but neither Jan nor Colin were looking elsewhere but at each other. “What about you? Have you been with... many guys?”

“My ex was my first, we met in school.” Unusually for Jan, he wasn’t sure whether finishing his story was appropriate or not. He may as well put all his cards on the table if Colin had shared so much. “But we had some threesomes and stuff. Foursomes. Parties. So I’ve had the chance to experiment a little bit.”

Colin’s mouth hung open the longer Jan spoke. A choked sound came from the back of his throat but he didn’t even seem to notice, he just continued gawking at the Dutchman. Jan turned to push his couscous around his plate, too embarrassed to look at Colin. Maybe this was a step too far.

Eventually, the man beside him regained the power of speech. “Bloody hell.” He must’ve noticed Jan’s discomfort, because he was quick to lay a reassuring hand on top of Jan’s own. “I’m not judging, by the way, it’s awesome. I’m totally jealous! I’m just amazed how you’re so chill and blasé about it all!”

His hand shivered under Colin’s, his face still burning under the weight of the other man’s stare. “Like I said, it’s just sex; everybody does it. Apart from me lately, apparently.” His voice had dropped to a whisper by the time he’d finished talking, but Colin was still watching him, head tilted curiously to the side. They sat for a moment, simply looking at each other.

Then they spoke at the same time.

“This is probably a terrible idea, but do you wanna-”
“You can say no, of course, but would it be too weird if-”

Anything between a second to an hour could have passed, time moving simultaneously too fast and too slow for Jan. Their breaths cut through the silence, mouths parted as they maintained eye contact. Jan wanted to allow plenty of time for Colin to back out, to admit it was a stupid idea and have a good laugh about it. But it never came. All he had to do was brush his thumb against the side of Colin’s hand for him to pounce, straddling him on the couch while attacking Jan’s lips with his own, dinner long forgotten about on the table. Behind the obvious eagerness and odd clash of teeth it felt amazing, and he couldn’t even allow himself to feel any shame as he moaned into Colin’s mouth.

“We’re just blowing off some steam, y’know.” Colin moved his hands to underneath Jan’s t-shirt, pulling it cleanly over his head between kisses.

“Yeah, this is fine!” His fingers fiddled with the buttons on Colin’s polo shirt, finally undoing enough to successfully remove the other man’s top too. “This is much safer than meeting someone from an app.”

Colin hummed in approval, lightly sucking down Jan’s neck as he worked on the taller man’s trouser button. “We’re both fit as fuck, obviously, so there’s no risk of catfishing.” He gasped as he finally managed to pull open Jan’s belt buckle, freeing his already solid cock from the confines of his trousers.

“Exactly! We’re not gonna get blackmailed or murdered, Ted should really be thanking us.” Colin’s hands seemed to be in about six different places at once: a scratch across his scalp; a barely-there grip on his arm; and finally, a warm palm around him, stroking purposefully.

“Please don’t mention Ted when I’m about to suck your dick.” A reasonable request. Right now all Jan could focus on was the feeling of Colin’s tongue as he licked up his cock, bright eyes maintaining eye contact as he sunk down as far as he could. As much as Jan wanted to hold him down there, he had the inexplicable urge to show Colin he wasn’t anything like the other guy he’d been seeing.

“Do you – fuck – do you like being told what a good boy you are? Or do you prefer... dirtier?”

Colin lifted his head up and off of Jan with a pop, still moving his hand up and down the shaft as he grinned. “Good boy, please.” And just as quickly as he’d stopped, Colin was back, bobbing his head to the backdrop of Jan’s moans.

“Shit, Colin, you’re absolutely perfect.” The green eyes beaming up at him shone like beacons, prompting Jan to pull him back up onto the couch and kiss him once more, hands trying their best to locate the buttons of the other man’s jeans. “I wanna touch you so bad, show you how great you are.”

The shiver and accompanying hum coming from Colin as Jan finally got his hand down his boxers was all he needed. “Yeah, what else do you wanna do?” Colin was lying against him now, pushing his own jeans and boxers down with one hand as he kept a steady pace on Jan with the other.

Jan nuzzled his face into Colin’s neck, leaving a trail wet open-mouthed kisses to the soundtrack of Colin’s gentle whimpers as he tightened his grip. “Just want to make you feel good, Colin. You deserve it, you’re so good.”

Another whine landed right in his ear. “Bedroom?”

Neither man wanted to leave their current position, but as soon as Jan felt the tell-tale shake of his legs, he sprang up, extending a hand to Colin to follow suit. He didn’t want this to end. He didn’t want to go back to polite conversation in the changing room after this. He needed more. “C’mon, I already know where you keep your stuff.”

Colin giggled, and Jan couldn’t contain himself. He scooped the shorter man up, welcoming Colin’s tongue back into his mouth as eagerly as the Welshman wrapped his legs around him. “You’re never gonna let me forget that, are you?” he panted between kisses. Jan, meanwhile, was too focussed on navigating the narrow staircase without dropping Colin. That certainly wouldn’t be a good way to end the night.

Jan eventually reached Colin’s bedroom, the man in his arms reaching over to turn on the main light before Jan sat him down on the side of the bed, not giving him a moment to breathe before straddling his thighs.

“So how do you wanna...?”

Colin paused his mission to nibble at every millimetre of Jan’s neck, carefully lifting his head to rub their noses together as he thought. “What do you feel like?”

Jan snorted. “I want to do what you want! Tell me, please.” He felt Colin’s dick twitch against his leg, and electricity charged through his whole body.

“No, I don’t know, don’t make me decide!” the brunet moaned grouchily. They could be here a while. “Do you usually top or bottom? What do you prefer?”

“I told you, I just want you to have a good time!” He grabbed Colin’s head and pulled him in, lips moving messily against each other. Colin, meanwhile, laid back, dragging Jan all the way down with him, lips never parting. An awkward shuffle to move towards the middle of the bed finally broke some of the tension, chuckles escaping between pants. “To answer your question, I used to top more but I like it either way... what about you?”

When Colin didn’t speak, only kissing and biting down Jan’s neck, he realised he’d have to take the initiative himself. “We could do like you mentioned earlier? Missionary with you on top?” In lieu of replying, Colin had moved to leaving tiny marks over Jan’s collarbone. “Or I could spoon you? 69? Like I said, I don’t mind, I just want you to have fun.”

Eventually, Colin was back level, cheeks pink and hair tussled, and his hand once again slowly working up and down Jan’s dick. “I kinda want to just do it like this, to be honest. ‘S nice.”

His heart melted. And seeing Colin’s eyes looking back at him with such awe, coupled with the sensation in his groin, he couldn’t think of anything or anyone better in the world. “Of course. This is lovely.”

He held Colin’s jaw in one hand, their lips moving more slowly than before, and used the other to match Colin’s movements on the other man’s cock. They stroked each other lazily, legs tangled, until Jan felt his release build. He couldn’t let himself be embarrassed at how quickly it might have been over, the need to get Colin off was overtaking his instinct to lay back and let it happen.

“Fuck, Jan, I’m so close, please don’t stop!” Colin’s breathy mutterings, paired with the acceleration of his hand, was the final straw. Jan groaned lowly as he spilled over Colin’s hand, feeling the other man do the same as Colin’s mouth froze against his.

They lay barely inches apart, heat radiating from their naked bodies as they just looked at each other, blissed out. Colin started walking his fingers up and down Jan’s bicep. “You know you said ‘ja’ when you came?”

“Did not.”

“Did so. It was hot.” Jan quickly shut him up with another kiss which Colin deepened immediately, hands rubbing all over the Dutchman’s body. He’d apparently forgotten they were coated in cum. “Ah, shit, I need to wash these sheets.”

Jan giggled, his post-orgasm haze not fading as quickly as Colin’s clearly had. “Let’s just sleep in the spare room tonight.”

The gentle taps on his arm had changed to feather-light strokes, Colin’s face now more alert and awake as he studied Jan’s body with a smirk. “I dunno, I think the plumber called while you were busy. You’d better go home and check on those pipes.”

Fed up with Colin being a little shit, Jan snaked an arm around him and squeezed his bum, closing the distance and kissing him softly. “Fuck right off.”

Attaching himself to Jan’s lips again, Colin’s arms wrapped themselves around Jan, holding him effortlessly tight. When they eventually broke apart, the Welshman pushed Jan’s hair back, his sweet smile betrayed by devilish eyes. “So, threesomes and foursomes and parties; are you, like, proper kinky, then?”

He smirked back. “I wouldn’t say kinky, just adventurous.” Colin raised an eyebrow, prompting Jan to elaborate. “They were fun at the time. Helped me try new different things without being embarrassed. But I’ve come to realise I’m a one-man man.”

Colin chuckled. “Ha. Come.”

“Fuck me, you’re a child!” He did his best to ignore how Colin whined at his playful spanking, bringing his hand back up to rest on his waist. “I think that’s what’s made this so fucking hard.” His voice had softened, gazing at Colin’s eyes as his teammate recommenced his gentle finger drawings along his arm. “One man I love for the rest of my life, or a sport I can only play for another 12 years if I’m lucky.”

“I think you made the right decision. Football is life, after all.” He tucked a lock of blond hair behind a now smiling Jan’s ear, voice quietening. “I meant what I said before. I’m glad you’re at Richmond.”

Whether Colin meant it for the same reason as Jan did, he may never know. He examined the Welshman’s face, hoping he wasn’t just imagining the promise held within. “Yeah. Me too.”

“Do you want to maybe,” he moved to rest his forearm on top of Jan, looking down on him kindly, “do this again?”

Smirking, Jan leaned up to kiss Colin’s wrist. “I’m gonna need a few minutes, I’m out of practice!”

But Colin laughed softly, staring at his finger as it traced patterns onto Jan’s shoulder. “I meant, like, after tonight? We could make this a regular thing?”

He shivered. A lump appeared in his throat from nowhere and his stomach felt like it was dropping down to his legs. He understood Colin’s proposition. It made sense. Just like they’d said earlier, it was convenient, safe, and if their first attempt was anything to go by, very enjoyable. But that’s all it was, wasn’t it? Colin wanted casual; he already did casual. Jan wasn’t sure he could keep these new feelings growing at bay if they kept doing this. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Oh.” Colin’s face fell as he rolled back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. “Sorry, I must’ve-”

“It’s not because I didn’t enjoy it!” Jan interjected, something about seeing Colin’s disappointment really affected his ability to stay calm. He’d turned onto his side to look down at Colin, and his heart sank immediately as they locked eyes. “If anything, I maybe enjoyed it... too much. I don’t think I could manage something with no strings.” He smoothed Colin’s cheek with his thumb. “Especially not with you.”

Propping himself up on his elbow, Colin reached a hand across to Jan’s face. “Who said it has to be no strings?”

His pulse raced as they kept staring hopefully at each other, the space between them steadily shrinking. And as their lips eventually met, the fireworks in Jan’s brain were unstoppable. He’d have never imagined something like this happening a few months ago. His first season in London might just be worth it after all.