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"George?"
Startled out of his wits, George clumsily pulls out his bucket of fish, who he has yet to name but has just been sitting in his inventory rent free, then embarrassingly switches it with an axe.
At this, Tommy scoffs. Don't get him wrong, it was a very good and proper axe--and extra marks for it being coated in enchantments--but it looked barely used nor battle-worn. Judging from the clean leather bounded around the handle, it was rarely used in frantic situations where its owner had no time to wash the blood off their hands after a long period of kills.
But word has around these parts that George has the god of the server, XD, that favours him very much. Perhaps this god of his changes his leather bindings on the handle and cleans the blood off the blades of his weapons after every kill.
Tommy has heard how XD looks like from various rumours. And it's difficult to worship someone who resembles his abuser quite a lot.
Perhaps one day he might be able to, if he manages to master the ability to imagine XD's face as a chocolate chip cookie instead of that creepy smiling face of Dream's.
"T- Tommy?" George asks, his voice full of disbelief and nervousness.
Irritated by the presence of the man standing before him, Tommy wastes no time on pleasantness. "Yeah no shit. Who else do you think I am? Ranboo?"
George's eyebrows dipped into a frown. "No. Last I saw, Ranboo was obviously taller than you and has black and white skin." He looks bewildered and annoyed at the same time.
"Oi! I'm taller than that bitch now!" Tommy shouts back indignantly.
George throws up his hands in exasperation. "He's an enderman hybrid! There's just no way-" he cuts himself off with a sigh, his fingers pinching the edge of his nose in irritation. "What are you doing here Tommy? What do you want?"
It was a fairly odd question to ask someone (or anyone to be honest) while standing right outside the doors of the most secure and highly protected prison on the server in the middle of the night.
Tommy stands a few yards away from George, the former king of the Dream SMP. Once dressed in a large, red-and-white mushroom hat and regal red cloak, he now wears plain clothing: his signature goggles, t-shirt and jeans. The only thing abnormal about this guy is the singular, baby mushroom growing out from his shoulder.
Tommy recalls the way George stares longingly at the obsidian structure, his mouth pursed into a sad frown that made him look very weary (an expression you'd see on most people on this server nowadays) and hesitant, and he knows.
The blonde teen understands why he's here.
"The same reason why you're here, I suppose, if I'm not wrong," Tommy replies with. He holds his hands out, revealing no tricks and weapons.
With a relieved huff, George sets away his axe and eyes the youngster with a nervous look. "So you're here to admire the build of this impressive prison too?"
Wow, he's really forcing this into my hands isn't he? Tommy muses. "You're thinking if you want to visit that...asshole buddy of yours in there. That green bitch."
George winced. He can't believe a child of all people would have to come across his sorry self and made such an accurate and painful comment about it. "Then you're here to see him too then," he grumpily retorts. It sounds like an accusation.
This time it's Tommy's turn to flinch. He tries to play it off as a look of disgust and just hopes it works. "Pffsh what? Nah who would want to visit that sorry son of a bitch?" He tries not to focus on the fact that he had once been so keen on visiting his tormentor, seeking for closure and that sick sense of unhealthy comfort from a fake friend and abuser. He eyes at George. "No offence by the way. He's just really a bastard."
George groans. "Then stop rubbing it in twice," he says, seeing Tommy's satisfied look. The man clenches his teeth and digs his nails in his palms. "But yes, he's an asshole."
"Even his best friend admits it," Tommy mutters under his breath. George doesn't read lips, but even he can guess what Tommy said.
If he were a more bold person he would have stood up taller and said that Dream wasn't even his best friend anymore, much less a friend. But he isn't, and the hollow, yearning feeling of a third, missing place in his soul says as much. It's a guilt he wakes up with everyday he wishes it gone and dead.
He was jolted away from his deep thoughts when he saw Tommy suddenly walking towards him. Reaching into his inventory, he accidentally takes out a bowl of mushroom stew instead. Seeing his reaction, Tommy halts in his footsteps and puts up his empty hands. George quickly switches the bowl for his sword.
"I'm not coming to attack you don't worry-" he starts to say.
"No, no! Is this because of Dream? Are you going to kill me to hurt Dream or something?" George yells, brandishing his weapon.
"Look I'm not gonna murder you or anything I just wanna come nearer so we can talk shit about that green bitch without raising our voices like idiots," he screams back, screeching very much like the child he was a year ago during the Disc Wars and L'Manberg war.
The Tommy that stands before him now, recovering his breath after a long and loud sentence, has a ragged look and tired shadows under his eyes. When he would once stand tall and bold, he now stood hunched over slightly, as if he were cold despite being tucked in the green scarf and a gradient, blue to yellow cozy sweater. His hands were constantly going in and out his pockets while all the time they were talking, always on the move to play with his hands, wringing them nervously.
And there, like XD said to him, was the patch of white hair already showing at the roots despite it being dyed dandelion-yellow. He died and came back, the god whispers, something emotionless in his tone that sounded like amusement to George instead.
The first child of the server to lose all three canon lives of theirs.
It was just a disturbing thing to think about. That a child had died before he and 70% of the rest of the server would. Or maybe it was just because the thought of a child dying before the adults did that unsettled his mind deeply.
Feeling the need to say something, he had blurted out, "That's unfair. And sad." Shame heats up his face. It felt wrong to summarize the unfortunate death of a child.
XD merely hums neutrally before putting their chin on George's shoulder, slightly gazing his neck. The mortal shivers a bit and let's out a heavy sigh when the deity places a kiss light as feather on his forehead. Suddenly, a large mushroom materializes on his head, a gift XD likes to spoil him with despite having a ton of those hats in his chests. When he is able to lift his head up against the sudden weight again, XD is gone.
With a heavier sigh than the one that came out his mouth that day, he finally relents. "Fine, but know that if you kill me or anything, you'll have the god of the server out for your blood." Technically, he was lying since he didn't know how much XD would care about him (or his death) at all, but being god's favourite has to mean something, right?
But the arguement they had two weeks ago might change that now. It was a stupid arguement. XD wanted a friend. George... he didn't know what he wanted.
"If you'll be my friend, I'll give you a set of netherite armour." The god had promised, all hopeful smiles and gentle tones.
It was as if he were talking to a psychopath with an unpredictable mood. But George ruined it by being greedy. Then XD got very mad and now they aren't talking. He didn't know what he wanted. Was it Dream? Was he being stupid and pissy because XD looked like Dream but wasn't him? Or was he just being as shallow as ever?
"You're all take, take, take and more, more, more." XD thunders angrily, their voice cruel and heartless. "So know this: I might like you, but I don't like you that much."
Tommy instantly relaxes and practically skips his way towards George's side. Then without warning, he flops down on the grass so fast George thinks he slipped and fell. Less reluctantly than he should have been, George sits down and joins him by his side.
Finally, because it's night already and the cold grass is freezing his ass off, he takes out his red, furred-collar, cloak and drapes it around his shoulders.
Right after he does that, Tommy sees it and decides to copy him. He takes out a cloak of his own, a light and dark blue cloak with a white star in the middle that made it look like a flag.
Tommy catches George observing his cloak and quickly grabs onto it, pulling the quality fabric into his weak frame tighter as if it would disappear if he didn't.
A beautiful gift from the rulers of the Antarctic Empire to a young, loud and normal boy.
George wasn't the only one who was once a favourite of very powerful people in this server.
George waits for the younger boy to settle down before letting out a long exhale. "So if you weren't waiting to see him, who are you here to see?"
Tommy's eyes met George's before glancing away. He appreciated the mushroom-lover to not mention that green bitch's name for him, but he had a feeling that George didn't particular like saying the bastard's name either.
It's a shame your best friend hates you as much as I do, he thinks with a smug grin.
He thinks of the man he once adores and now still can't loathe with all he has (and should). A certain Blood God that he once looks up to and sees a big brother.
He's a liar and a traitor. As I am. As we had accused each other at the battlefield.
"Another bitch. The pink one," he mutters, not feeling like uttering the Blood God's name.
"Who? Ah- oh... Technoblade. Right?" He takes it as a yes from Tommy's soured look. "How the hell did he end up in there?"
Tommy shrugs. "Who knows? I can think of a thousand reasons and none of them are good."
At the top of his mind is Dream calling in his favour from Technoblade. It's a memory that instantly ruins his mood whenever he thinks of it. Of the time when Technoblade willingly suggested Dream could cash in the favour if he handed Tommy over.
Supposedly Technoblade isn't as powerful as he says he is and is bested by the prison and it's warden. And is now probably stuck like a sitting duck with Dream.
Tommy worries for Techno. He knows he shouldn't. But being stuck in a confined space with Dream was one of the worse things that could happen to anyone. He got stuck and he died.
It's a shame that at heart he still thinks of Techno as his brother. (His mind disagrees. It tells him that he wishes it wasn't a shame but something to be proud of instead.)
All he truly wanted was to rush in and scream into the lava for Techno to respond to him, to check on him that he was still alright and not tortured mentally or physically. He didn't want Dream poisoning anyone's minds.
He wants to personally see Techno with his own eyes to calm himself and his anxiety down, something that hunts and nips at his heels everyday during his waking hours. He wants to reassure Techno even he is the younger one, no matter how foolish and stupid he may seem. No matter if Techno laughs at him and Dream cruelly mocks him.
He wants to yell at Sam to let Techno out, even if it gets him killed for not obeying the warden's warning/death threat.
It's a shame that when you were the one stuck on the prison, Techno did nothing at all. (This, his mind agrees. It is definitely a sad, sad shame.)
George seems to read his thoughts. "It's a shame we both still love them." And in his mind, Tommy can't digest the thought of someone who still loves his abuser. It makes his stomach churn. But he knows George hates the fact that he still loves that green bitch, even it might be just the slightest. He of all people would understands how it feels.
Suddenly, Tommy claps George at the back, making him jump from fright. "It's a bigger shame that they fuckin hate us a shit ton, huh?" He laughs loudly.
George snorts. "Yeah. Both of them probably wants us dead on sight."
Tommy says nothing to that, only pulls his warm cloak against his cold body tighter around himself.
At dawn, Tommy leaves first, heading to Snowchester. George stays there a few hours more, but it is not too long after that he too leaves for Kinoko Kingdom.
The moment he enters the kingdom he sees Sapnap look up from gardening to the sound of his footsteps. He proceeds to tackles George into a hug that sends them flying onto the ground while making tearful, sniffing sounds. He hasn't seen Sapnap so happy to see him in such a long time, but he is glad his best friend reacts that way.
____________
Months later, Dream was let out of the prison. That day, Tommy runs over to Phil for protection, panic clogging his lungs and mind, desperate for shelter in the snow tundra as Dream chases him all the way from Logstedshire, the Axe of Peace swinging dangerously close to Tommy's body several times.
It takes Phil two hours to get him totally back to his normal state: calm enough but still full of nerves. At the end of the day, he stayed until night fell and accepts Phil's apology and explanation for letting Dream out. He wants to cry and scream but the lessons he had back in exile taught him to be grateful with what he has.
Phil seems worried that Tommy is very silent but pent up with emotions he cannot express. Months of therapy with Puffy had taught him well, but they forgot Dream taught him better.
At night, while Tommy is slumbering in a restless sleep on the couch in Technoblade and Phil's cottage, he wakes up at the sound of the door being unlocked and sits up abruptly. He comes face-to-face with Technoblade's boar skull staring at him motionlessly.
Tommy panics and cries. When Phil tries to come near him, he throws a fit and curls into a hunched ball, nails digging into his scalp and flesh, drawing blood. His fingers are losing blood circulation due to how hard he gripped his arms. He couldn't breathe. He didn't bother doing that. He just kept apologizing to Technoblade, explaining that Dream had taken the Axe of Peace and please please don't kill him and he will leave this instant right now and go back home- (but where was home when Dream was loose and prowling the lands of this server? Where would home be if there is not a single safe place he can sleep in?)
Then Technoblade hugged him. Surprised, in the middle of his panic attack, he screams and scratches until he gives up and goes limp. Lying in the Blood God's strong grasp never felt more terrifying but safe at the same time.
He falls asleep silently in shock, eyes staring at nothing, his soul feeling so lightweight as if it could snap at any second and fade away. While still in Techno's embrace, the older man shushed him softly and tenderly to sleep (as he would long, long time ago) even when Tommy remained completely dead and mute to the world.
The next morning, they wake up in each other's embrace, with Phil's pair of wings wrapped around them like blankets.
Techno managed to calm Tommy down this time without the kid flinching nearly every time he began his sentence by sharply inhaling a deep breath.
Phil and Techno made breakfast in the kitchen while Tommy was ushered upstairs to take a bath and refresh himself. Tommy completely forgot he had clothes left at Techno's cottage since he'd stayed with him after he ran away from exile.
Together, they sat down and ate. After that, they talked and apologized and sorted things out. It wasn't easy, but Techno let him cuddle with Baba in the living room and it felt safer with the female polar bear nuzzling her snout into his chest. Also, Steve and Baba's growls and chest rumbles are top tier for calming down panic attacks.
Tommy doesn't think he'd seen Techno this happy when he wears his old Antarctica Empire cloak out to tend to with the wolves with him.
Two nights later, Tommy falls asleep to Techno's storytelling. He feels a gentle kiss to his temple right before slumber claims him.
It still felt difficult to wake up scared at the sight of Phil and Techno around him. Some days he'd wake up and feel like shit immediately. His hearing and thoughts would go fuzzy and the world would look colourless and dissociated from him. The first time he started avoid eating breakfast and lunch altogether at the sight of food, he knows Techno would be reminded what this Tommy was like when he took him in after exile. The Tommy that had been taught by Dream that he had to be so independent he didn't need anything, not even food.
But Techno and Phil helps him. They deal with him every single day no matter how shitty and moody he acted. Sometimes Techno would apologize to him after something harmful Tommy did to himself that made even the Blood God upset.
When Tommy found out they were getting advice from Captain Puffy all the while, he was very glad Techno and Phil did that. After that, Tommy makes sure they sent her a gift in return.
A week later, as he runs up to his room to sleep, he shouts a "Love you!" down the stairs without much thought. Before he can process or regret it, Phil chirps back an I love you! and to his relief, so does Techno, albeit in a softer tone.
That night, he sleeps better than he ever has since exile.
________
George can't believe it. His ex best friend right before him, shield and axe in hand, swinging the blade down at him repeatedly. Dream looks terrible and rag-tag. He's shouting and yelling, demanding to know why George didn't visit him.
"C'mon Dream- the prison's so big and evil. Do you think they'd let me in?" He had said, but every bit of it was a feeble excuse and Dream knew it. He didn't say "I'm learning to hate you now, as I had begun to stop loving you then, right outside those prison walls."
They were arguing and yelling and George was running away, pleading Dream not to attack Kinoko Kingdom and- Then he was slain by Dream. It was a quick blow to the head. He barely even felt anything.
When he woke up, he was back in his house and XD was levitating by his bedside, his round head glowing like a firefly lamp. The god looked to be smiling because of the permanent XD on his face, but George swears he radiates sadness.
It felt like a mourn.
Like the last time they saw each other, XD places a kiss on his forehead that felt neither like a blessing nor a curse.
"You don't love him anymore," the god rumbles. And George wants to protest and cry, but he's just glad someone says it for him.
That night, he sits outside, unable to fall asleep even in XD's lap. George takes XD's hand in his and holds onto it like a lifeline. It doesn't feel like Dream's, and he's glad he doesn't want it to.