Archive of Our Own

put your clothes on, i’m in love with your best friend

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“I just think Rebecca may be my soulmate.”

As simple as that. It all starts with an admission. Speaking the words into the ether and allowing the truth of them to settle and ingrain into everything around him.

The problem with Ted Lasso and those moments of truth, sometimes he had very little control over when he would blurt them out. He and Sassy didn’t meet up often, or ever plan to meet up, but happenstance and life meant that whenever they did she would make no illusions to her intentions and he would be grateful for the genuine feeling of no strings attached. Not that it made him comfortable.

“You know, you’re bloody lucky I’m a fiercely independent woman, because this would definitely not be the right time for this conversation,” Sassy chuckled as she walked around Ted’s bedroom, putting her clothes back on.

“Oh gee, Smurf, I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean it l-”

“Look, Ted – you’re actually amazing in bed, like it’s actually insane for someone that polite to do the things you do,” Ted had a little blush on his cheeks, ready to speak before Sassy raised her hand to stop him. It was crazy how commanding she could be, and Ted sat up, zipped his lips shut and nodded. “But if you’re trying to tell me you think you’re some sort of platonic soulmate with Stinky, you’re terrifyingly dim-witted.”

“Oh, harsh but I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” she grinned, slipping her skirt up and over her hips. “I’ve known Rebecca for so long, I’ve been around so many men and yes we have some overlap…” she waved her hand in a ‘get over it’ gesture when she saw Ted’s eyebrows shoot up, “and she is stunningly gorgeous, fit and insanely powerful. Jesus Christ, she’s attracting footballers half her age.”

There was a visible wince on Ted’s face at that, which was probably the only confirmation that Sassy needed.

“If you think for a moment, Marlboro, that you could have a real fucking thing with her, you need to go for it. Be brave. Believe.” She grinned at him, and he shrugged.

“You’re right, this is a mighty odd conversation to have.” Ted could feel his mouth going dry, he wanted nothing more than to take it back. He wasn’t sure where it came from, Sassy mentioned going to Rebecca’s after being with him and his stomach clenched. Guilt, envy, loneliness… something. He never stopped to think about Rebecca too often, there were a lot of feelings attached to her, the club and everything he had become since moving to England.

He hated to admit it but sometimes he felt like being with Sassy was like having a bit of Rebecca… (it wasn’t very hard to realise that that was probably where the guilt came from).

“You think this is an odd conversation? Wait until you have it with her.”

“Oh, no… no, no…” Ted shifted to sit on the edge of his bed, picking up his own clothes and getting dressed quickly, he couldn’t sit there and have all his truths come out whilst being completely naked. He may be unusually confident, but he had his limits. “There has been not even a smidge of an inkling that she even thinks of me… outside of bein’ coach.”

“That is actual bullshit and I’m sorry if you’re too scared to admit it, but you don’t get to speak about her feelings because you’re too scared to address yours.”

“You’re right, mighty rude of me,” he sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, “I feel like a teenager, Flo.”

“I think I would’ve hated teenage Ted,” she sat heavily on his bed, “what made you blurt that out?”

“Mm?” he looked at her, he was standing now and pulling his sweater over his head. “Which bit? The teenager or the -”

“Soulmate, shit?

“I see we have a non-believer over here,” Ted pointed accusingly at Sassy as he tried to pull his khakis up, too, finding himself hopping around. She just rolled her eyes and flopped to lie down on the bed length ways, looking up at the ceiling. “You said you were going to see Rebecca.”

“Yeah…”

“And I felt sick.”

She sat up at that, turning to look at him, her forehead screwed up in a confused look. He understood why – there was never an aspect of what they did that seemed to seep out of the room into their daily lives. If Rebecca had asked where she had been, she would’ve told her getting absolutely railed by Ted, or something equally crude, Rebecca would roll her eyes and that’s the last of their discussions… and she knew that he didn’t really discuss them with anyone, either… because that’s not what they were. They weren’t… anything.

“You feel guilty?”

“Only a little,” he shrugged and attempted a smile at her, but she held her face in a way that suggested she wasn’t going to take what he said as enough of a response so he let out a heavy sigh, “I worry that maybe I’m sleepin’ with you to intentionally sabotage my chances with her… or at least give her a reason to reject me other than… she just isn’t interested.”

“Huh…” Sassy didn’t look annoyed, just thoughtful, “pretty shitty way your brain worked, there, Ted. Both you know, to me, yourself and Rebecca.”

“That’s the shame I feel then.”

“Hey, just because your thoughts are a little shitty doesn’t mean there isn’t some work to be done there,” she stood again, feeling what she was about to say was better suited for perhaps the kitchen, or at a push the living room. He followed after her, this part was always a little awkward – regardless of random truth outbursts, Ted had to fight with his urge to act like he didn’t want to rush her to leave, with the heavy feeling in his stomach that he didn’t want her to stay, either.

“Look, Sass, I appreciate you tryin’ t’help, but I’ve made this whole thing… uncomfortable.”

“Ted, let us be honest with each other here… we both know this wasn’t anything between us,” he nodded in agreement, somewhat disjointedly, “and you just told me you want to run off in fields of long grass with my oldest friend…”

“I… don’t think I-”

“I’m going to give you some advice, okay?” she cut him off, waving a hand to dismiss him, “she doesn’t give two shits that you’ve gone down on me, okay? If you want to have her up against the nearest wall, then tell her she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, I’d bet Nora’s life she’d be up for it.”

He wasn’t going to feel the slightest bit guilt about the image she presented in his head – Rebecca with her head thrown back, neck exposed, her leg hitched up his waist… the pretty little noises he just knew she’d make.

“I don’t know about that… she hasn’t really…” he paused because it wasn’t fair to say ‘oh, she hasn’t really shown any signs of being interested in me’ when Ted had worked hard enough to make sure that he showed no obvious signs himself. Sure, he couldn’t help but gaze and smile softly at her when he could watch her for a few moments unguarded… and if he worked extra hard to make her laugh, that was only in part because she had such a catalogue of them, he wanted to hear every one.

“Mm,” Sassy had obviously taken the moment of his quiet reflection to do some of her own introspection, “all you got to do is be smart, right?”

“I… I’ll think about it.”

“I might go test the waters when I go there now, throw a bird amongst the pigeons – maybe I’ll tell her you proposed to me mid-orgasm.”

“Sassy!”

“I’m kidding,” she gave him a smirk and walked over to where he stood, placing her hands on his shoulders, “thank you, Ted, for your enormous cock and the fact you know how to use your tongue, honestly… when I say it’s been a pleasure… I mean it in every sense of the word.”

“I don’t know how to respond to that.”

She gave him a free pass, slapping her hands down lightly on his shoulders, turned and grabbing her leather jacket and bag as she left.

“See you at the wedding, hey?”

When Ted saw Rebecca next, she greeted him with the soft Ted usually reserved for some bad media story but the same gentle smile, he liked to think was reserved for him.

“Hey, Boss,” he shook the biscuit box without explanation, “how’s it hangin’?”

“Long and to the right,” his eyes went wide, and she snorted a laugh, “sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve had such an easy opportunity to say that one, but penis jokes aside, how are you?” There was a weird heaviness to the question, and it took him a second before he realised that it’s likely Sassy had spun a little tale about their drawing a line under their agreement – he didn’t want to speak ill of anyone, but she was, for better or worse (he was never sure) someone who loved just stirring that pot.

“Me? Never better,” he sat down in his usual spot and slid the biscuit box over to her, frowning when she didn’t open it straight away. “Are you?” he looked up at her then, finding a curious look on her face.

“Florence… she can be hard work,” she started, breaking eye contact and moving random objects around her desk, her discomfort was palpable enough it made Ted start to fidget in his seat, “she has been known to leave some broken hearts in her wake… I just… I care about you, Ted and I… I just want to make sure you’re doing okay.”

Her concern was so sincere, he felt his mouth go dry. He wasn’t entirely sure what Sassy had told Rebecca, but he imagined it was the first time she cared enough or knew the other person enough to ask about them.

“Rebecca,” his voice was low, even to his own ears, and it caused her to snap her eyes directly to his, he gave her a little half smile, “I really am… fine. Got me a little like George, gotta admit.”

“Curious?” she frowned.

“Mm,” he said. “What exactly did Sassy say that got ya in a tizz about me?”

“Honestly, I shouldn’t have said anything,” she tapped a finger on the biscuit box, “she just mentioned that you both realised you wanted different things, from your relationship I surmised and typically that comes with Sass letting someone down, not so gently.”

Ted wasn’t incredibly well versed in body language but there as something about Rebecca that screamed, she was someone fishing for information. She wanted him to confirm or deny – it wasn’t just curiosity, there was something else thrumming under it all… hope. He just wasn’t sure what she was hoping for.

“Oh, yea’, that’s about the long of the short of it, sure,” he nodded, poking his bottom lip out, “do you believe in soulmates, Rebecca?”

“Florence Collins is not your soulmate,” she snorted out a laugh, before her eyes went a little wide, “sorry, that was a little insensitive… also, I don’t think I could get away with saying ‘no’, after that, can I?” Ted knew he had a small grin on his face as she spoke, but he couldn’t help himself, “I used to believe in soulmates, that there was someone you were… you were always supposed to meet, be with… then, well, Rupert was enough to throw a bucket of piss over any of those romantic notions.”

“Heck, great visual.”

“I started feeling, recently, a little more… like it could be a possibility,” she sighed, “but what’s the chances of finding your soulmate when you’re nearly 50?” she shook her head, tracing her fingers gently over biscuit box. Ted allowed himself a sad little smile.

“Rebecca Welton, let me tell ya now,” his voice was sharp but not unkind, “you are a woman that could do whatever ya want in this world, on your own, ‘cause you’re one of the strongest people I know… but you won’t have to, I know it in my gut… I’m as sure about that as I am that we’ll get my man Roy screaming whistle ‘cause I’m late in about ten seconds.”

Rebecca’s eyes finally met Ted’s, and they paused, waiting… it was closer to 30 seconds, but a surprisingly loud and definitely aggressive ‘whistle’ was directed up towards Rebecca’s office window.

“Thank you, Ted,” it came out as a whisper, and she gulped at the lump in her throat. “Off you trot.” She waved him away and he stood up pulling his backpack on.

“I was hopin’ to see your reaction, but I added some chocolate chips in this batch,” he pointed at the biscuits, “thought you might like that.”

“Oh, you are a devious little shit.” Ted laughed and walked towards the exit before slowing down and turning around.

“You know, I never think it’s too late to meet your soulmate, Rebecca,” he caught her with the shortbread halfway to her mouth, “could happen when you’re 21 and still a little optimistically stupid… and it could be when you’re 46, a little broken, and they offer you a job halfway across the world.” He smiled as he watched the biscuit drop from between her fingers, “Anyway, see ya later, Boss.”

He made a quick exit, he thought, he wasn’t really sure because the sound of his own heart beating made everything just a little harder to understand. It’s the reason why halfway down the steps he couldn’t work out the reason why he seemed to be flung almost backwards. He turned around quickly, a little manic in his movements, and his eyes trailed up Rebecca’s form, in her typical tight skirt, pretty little blue blouse… and as he looked down, without any shoes on her feet.

“Huh.”

“I grabbed your bag, sorry, with a little more force than I intended, sorry…” she rubbed her hands together, jittery in her movements, “I… I did call you.”

“I think I went a bit deaf.”

“Ted,” she walked down the steps, until she moved to stand on the same one as he was, she took a deep breath and whispered, “I offered you a job halfway across the world.” She tapped her hand against his chest as if to give truth to her words and as if it had a mind of its own, his hand moved to cover hers, keeping it pressed there, right over his erratic heart.

“Sure did,” he whispered back, smirking. “You’re not wearing any shoes.”

“Had to hurry,” her body seemed to sway on the spot, there wasn’t much room to move, and he was too terrified to do anything in case, “it was you.” She moved closer, he realised, her eyes moving rapidly around his face.

“What was?”  

“It was you that made me want to believe again,” she pressed her forehead against his cheek before pulling back, “it was you.” He turned his head, to follow her movements, his nose brushing against hers.

“Can I-?”

“Bloody kiss me already!” she cut off his question, and he smirked, muttered a ‘yes, ma’am’ before using his free hand to cup the side of her face, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone.

“If this is a dream, promise you’ll come see me the moment you wake.”

“That’s not how dreams work, Ted,” she nuzzled into his hand slightly, “and this is real.”

It was Rebecca then, of course it was, that finally took the last step, pressing her lips to his in a sweet closed-mouth kiss… she made a small noise in the back of her throat. Ted pulled back slightly, before moving in to deepen the kiss, he couldn’t help but take it slow – like they had all the time in the world, the moment her mouth opened and their tongues tentatively met, they seemed to move in agreement, arms around his neck, his hands going to rest on her waist. He just managed to bring the front of her body flush with his when he heard an angry groan.

“Bloody fucking whistle,” Roy yelled, causing the two to break apart, “I didn’t want to see that shit!” He was looking up at the ceiling, “Keeley is gonna fucking kill me for ruining whatever the fuck is happening, but since it’s done, fancy doing your job, Lasso?”

“If we’re gonna be honest, Roy, I can’t think of anythin’ in the world I wanna do less right now-”

“Ugh, Jesus Christ.”

“-but I am a professional… and I think I can wait a little longer.”  He gave Rebecca a look, “Boss, you have time for a meeting this afternoon?”

“Mm,” she smirked, “I think I can find some time in my diary to pencil you in… I’ll… uh,” she licked her lips tapping his chin with her finger and dropping her voice, “I’ll send you a detailed review of the biscuits.”

“Oh yeah,” he grabbed her hand and smirked. “How detailed we talkin’ he-”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Roy’s voice cut through again, “I don’t know what the fuck biscuits are code for but we’re late enough for training as it is.” Ted let out an honest to God giggle, bringing the back of Rebecca’s hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss there.

“Until next time,” he let go of her hand, tapping her nose and smiling as he said ‘boop’ and basking in the fact that Rebecca seemed to find it adorable, if the fresh blush on her cheeks was anything to go by.

“Can’t wait, Coach Lasso,” with that he turned and hopped down the last few steps, a ball of energy.

Roy nodded at Rebecca, rolling his eyes slightly before moving to walk away from the stairs, Ted trailing after him a little like a puppy.

“Hey, Roy, gosh I’m curious, do you think Keels is your soulmate?”

“That is the stupidest fucking thing you’ve ever said… of course she fucking is.”