Chapter Text
Zhongli had always been patient. He had waited for centuries. He had waited for someone to love – someone he could care for. He had asked himself when his time would arrive ; when he would find a soulmate like the other Archons. He had found friends along the way and lost them again. It had been a long and hard life, but he had been patient.
So, now that it’s finally his turn, he wants to make sure to not lose his lover. He was happy with Childe – happier than he had ever been. It sounded stupid, but he could swear that Childe was more than just his lover. He had a connection to him that he had never felt before with someone else. Hu Tao had gotten all giddy when Zhongli had told her, telling him that Childe was the one he had been waiting for. And maybe, that’s true. But . . . Why does Celestia never give him the chance to enjoy his life for once?
It was exactly that connection that Zhongli was so proud of which made him aware of something being wrong. It felt as if something’s tugging on the connection between Zhongli’s and Childe’s souls and it made Zhongli nervous. He had no idea what was going on. He was scared, confused. Trying to grab onto the connection and pull and then there was pain. So, so much of it. He tried to exhale slowly, fingers trembling. Something’s very wrong.
Zhongli didn’t waste time, instead he stormed out of the funeral parlour, ignoring Hu Tao’s calls. He ran through the city, heading for the mountains beyond it. People were looking at him, frowning ; they had never seen the always collected Zhongli run so fast.
He could feel the pain in his chest growing the closer he got towards wherever he was running, just trusting his instincts as he left the street, running over grass ; up a hill, down again, ditching monsters, back up a hill and then . . . He froze. All he could see was red. Everywhere.
“ Childe . . “, he whispered, gaze gliding over the battlefield. Normally, Zhongli would enjoy a little encounter with Childe throughout the day, even finding excuses to spend a little extra time with his lover, but today, right here and there, he hoped to not see the ginger hair and blue eyes. He hoped and prayed and . . . there they were. Childe – his beloved Childe – was covered in blood and dirt and wounds. A sword has been pushed right through his heart.
“ No . . “, Zhongli whispered as he walked closer before dropping onto his knees, eyes already filling with tears. “ Childe, dear . . please . . . “, he mumbled, feeling Childe’s pulse. It was there, though only barely. Childe opened his eyes. Gone were those sharp, knowing, blue eyes. Instead, they were unfocused, trying to find something to concentrate on.
“ Zhong- . . li? “, Childe mumbled, his fingers twitching slightly as he finally managed to look up into Zhongli’s eyes. The Archon reached for his lover’s hand, holding it tightly as a soft sob came over his lips. Childe smiled in return. “ Childe please just . . a little longer, please. Help is on the way, I promise “, Zhongli said, fingers trembling as he observed the slow rise and fall of Childe’s chest. This couldn’t be. He must be dreaming . . . No, he couldn't lose Childe. That was impossible . . . Celestia . . please . . .
“ I told you I . . I always wanted to die . . . as a h- hero. “ Childe’s gaze unfocused for a few seconds before he blinked slowly and stared back up at Zhongli. He smiled weakly, his breath going heavy and slow. Zhongli swore he could hear Childe’s breath rattle.
“ You’re not going to die here, dear. I won’t let it happen “, Zhongli tried to argue, gently cupping Childe’s cheek with his free hand. A dry laugh came over Childe’s lips which only led to heavy coughing. “ W- we both know that . . this is the end “, the ginger mumbled. It was hard to understand his slurred words, but Zhongli still managed.
“ No, no, no, don't say that Childe. We- we haven’t . . no, no you’re not dying dear, no “, Zhongli rambled. Childe was right, of course. They both couldn’t do anything against this. But still . . . they haven’t had any time yet. It hadn’t been long enough. They needed more time. They still had so many things to do and say and . . .
“ Zhongli . . . I- I told you to call me . . Ajax, haven’t I? “, Childe asked quietly. Zhongli pressed his lips together, nodding slowly. “ Yes you did but why- “ – “ Why are you still calling me . . Childe then . . . please . . call me Ajax . . please “ Zhongli squeezed his eyes shut, breath going slow as he tried to hold back the tears. He had always wanted to wait for a special moment to call Childe Ajax, always hoping to use his birth name as a surprise one day. This was a special moment though . . . Zhongli hadn’t thought of it before . . .
“ I’m sorry, Ajax please . . you cannot leave me like this . . . please don’t. “ Childe just smiled again, closing those beautiful eyes. “ I’m sorry “, he said as he gently squeezed Zhongli’s hand. Zhongli’s heart broke. “ I’m sorry for . . . not listening to you and I’m sorry for- for getting into situations like these and I . . . I never managed to tell you just how much I love you and I’m so sorry please forgive me. “
Zhongli shook his head, thumb gently wiping over Childe’s cool cheek. “ Don’t be sorry, Ajax. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is not your fault, I promise “, he said, trying to cheer Childe up a little. He was failing miserably.
“ Zhongli . . . can you do me a favour? “, Childe asked quietly, eyes slowly opening again, and Zhongli nodded, tears running over his cheeks. '' Anything, dear. “ The ginger smiled slightly as he carefully pulled his scarf off his neck, holding it out to Zhongli in a weak, trembling hand. “ Please . . . take care of this for me . . “
The Archon slowly reached out to grab the bloody scarf, holding it between his fingers as another soft sob escaped his lips. He slowly wrapped it around his neck, not caring about all the blood. He immediately returned to hold Childe’s hand, shoulders trembling from the sobs that shook through him.
“ . . . I’ll find you, Zhongli. Trust me please . . . wait for me . . you’ve waited for so long . . . please, wait a little longer “, Childe said, his voice a little louder, words clearer than before. “ Please . . . wait for me . . “
More sobs came over Zhongli’s lips. He can’t remember the last time he had cried if he ever had before. His body was shaking under the heavy sobs leaving him as he nodded, leaning down to press his forehead against Childe’s. “ I promise, Ajax. I’ll wait until you come back. I’ll wait. “
Another soft smile appeared on Childe’s lips as he nodded slightly. “ I love you, Zhongli. Please . . . bring me home . . . “, Childe whispered. And then his eyes closed. His breath slowed until it stopped completely. Then his heart stopped beating. And then the connection was gone. Gone, just like Childe.
Suddenly, everything around them seemed to be silent, motionless. Time seemed to stop as Zhongli held Childe in his arms. He didn’t even notice his own screams until he felt the ground underneath them shake. But he didn’t care. He just screamed ; screamed out his pain and his frustration and anything else. Childe was gone.
He screamed and screamed, the ground continued to shake and the time was still frozen. His screams were only interrupted by sobs coming over his lips.
He couldn’t tell how much time had passed when suddenly, someone touched his shoulder. It could’ve been minutes, hours, or days. He didn’t know. “ . . . Zhongli “, someone behind him said. Xiao. No one else would come look for the origin of the earthquakes.
“ H- he’s gone “, Zhongli whispered, still not letting go of the cool body of his lover. “ . . . I know “, Xiao answered, slowly kneeling down next to Zhongli. “ I’m sorry I couldn’t save him “, the Adeptus said quietly, head tilted down low, eyes closed. He didn’t like to see Zhongli like this. Zhongli just shook his head as he continued to cry, trembling fingers gripping onto Childe’s shirt.
I love you, Zhongli. Please . . . bring me home . . .
Another scream came over Zhongli’s lips. The ground was shaking again but . . There was a calming hand on his back this time. But it wasn’t Childe’s hand. Childe should hold him and calm him, Childe should live and be at his side with this beautiful smile on his lips, Childe should . . . He shouldn’t be dead.
Xiao sat quietly next to Zhongli while the Archon screamed out his frustration, trying to understand. Childe was gone. In the end – hours, days or years after – Zhongli calmed at least a little. His voice was still trembling as he slowly sat up to stare at this beautiful but empty face underneath him. “ I . . . I have to . . bring him home “, he mumbled, still holding onto Childe’s clothes.
He didn’t hear Xiao’s response, too focused on the task at hand. Instead, he slowly got onto his feet and leaned back down to pick Childe’s body up. Zhongli felt cold. Not on the outside but . . . the connection was gone. His love was gone. Tears continued to stream over his cheeks as he slowly walked back to Liyue, Childe in his arms.
The city went silent the moment Zhongli entered it with the dead Harbinger in his arms.
He had received a letter a few days later. An address in a small town in the middle of the freezing cold of Snezhnaya. Childe’s family. The letter wasn’t from the cryo Archon. He couldn’t sense her elemental energy on the paper. It must’ve come from one of the other Harbingers or someone generous enough to let a dead person return to its home.
When Zhongli arrived together with the coffin, the family had already known. The news must’ve spread like wildfire. Zhongli couldn’t care less. His mind was even quieter than the lonely snezhnayan streets they had travelled on. His eyes were read, but other than that he looked more or less presentable. That was, until a mini version of Childe appeared in front of him and hugged his leg.
He hadn’t expected to find any more tears to cry.