Chapter Text
One fateful dusky evening, Lan Wangji feels his heart torn in two. At his back are his sect, his duties, and the path of righteousness he’s always known. In front just a few feet, yet somehow miles away is the figure of a man, face touched by a sliver of golden light with the shadows gnawing hungrily at his back, threatening to envelop him completely.
“What can I do apart from this?” he asks, and Lan Wangji doesn’t know how to answer. “Nobody can give me a nice, broad road to walk on.”
Lan Wangji holds his gaze on the man, terrified that if he looks away, Wei Ying will vanish and go someplace Lan Wangji can no longer reach. Growing up, Lan Wangji always wholeheartedly believed that the Lan sect rules have the answers to any question, but right now it all seems so frustratingly useless. He can’t find an answer for Wei Ying. He doesn’t know what the right path is. As if sensing this, Wei Ying looks away for a second—the hope in his eyes fizzing out before Lan Wangji could even register it had been there—and musters a sad smile.
“Thank you for keeping me company today and for telling me about my shijie’s marriage,” he says, “but please let me decide what’s best for me. I don’t need others to comment on it. I know my limits and I know I’ll be able to control it. You don’t need to concern yourself over it.”
Lan Wangji nods slowly, holding back the urge to cry. As Wei Ying turns around to head back into the darkness of the mountain, Lan Wangji suddenly feels that this is an extremely pivotal moment. In another world, Lan Wangji would continue to bite his tongue and turn his back to the shadows. He would go back to his sect in time for curfew. He would continue to follow those 3,000 sacred rules into the light, even if it blinds him, because that is what is righteous. That’s what everyone expects him to do.
But the other half of his heart roots him to the spot. Watching Wei Ying’s back as he retreats up the mountain, gently gripping the hand of the little Wen child, Lan Wangji suddenly remembers his mother. He remembers the way she would look standing in the doorway of her prison and home, suffocated by blue gentians, gazing down at him with such a sad, lost look in her eyes. He remembers the squeeze in his heart that told him to shake his Uncle’s grasp on his hand and run back into his mother’s arms. He remembers the fear that the shadows of that lonely home would finally consume his mother and by the time next month came around, there would be nothing left in that doorway but gentians and the cold, silent, mocking serenity of the Cloud Recesses.
“Don’t go,” he blurts out. Wei Ying stops in his tracks and turns back around with a curious expression.
“What was that?”
Lan Wangji realizes what he said and feels the tips of his ears go warm with embarrassment. “I- I mean. Would it be alright if I came back?”
“You want to come back?” Wei Ying says with equal parts amusement and incredulity. “To the Burial Mounds or Yiling?”
“Both. Or whichever one you’d prefer.”
Wei Ying breathes out a stressed sigh and runs a hand through his loose hair. “Lan Zhan, what do you really want? I’m never going back to Gusu with you. I’m never going to be the righteous, upstanding cultivator you seem to want me to be. I have no intentions to stop what I’m doing. So, what could you possibly gain by coming back here?”
“I won’t ask you to come with me,” he says, almost too quickly, “and I won’t ask you to give up demonic cultivation. I only wish to help.”
“Help what, Lan Zhan? We’ve already established that there is no helping me. There is no solution. If you associate with me too much, your reputation in the cultivation world will suffer anyway. There’s just no point.”
“Please let me try.”
Wei Ying heaves another sigh and looks thoughtfully at Lan Wangji, biting at the inside of his cheek with a frown. Lan Wangji glances at the little Wen child briefly.
It’s a little underhanded, but, “I’ll bring more gifts for A-Yuan.”
That lights up the child immediately and he pulls excitedly on Wei Ying’s hand. “Xian-gege, please! Rich-gege is gonna bring back gifts! Please!”
Wei Ying snorts out a laugh that absolutely does not make Lan Wangji’s heart flutter and exclaims, “Who’s Rich-gege?”
“Rich-gege is Rich-gege,” A-Yuan whines, bouncing on his toes.
“Who am I then?”
“You’re Xian-gege. Poor-gege,” he seems to decide on the spot. Wei Ying explodes with laughter again, mussing up the boy’s hair and snatching away his grass butterfly. He holds it just above A-Yuan’s head as A-Yuan bounces in place trying to reach for it and whining, “Give it back! Give it back!” He turns back to Lan Wangji, still dodging the child’s tiny hands.
“You hear that, Lan Zhan? Just a little bit of money is all it takes to win this brat over. No sense of filial piety at all, I tell you!” he says, dramatically pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. “Looks like I’ll be playing second fiddle to you in this kid’s eyes for the rest of my life.”
“Mn.”
“Lan Zhan! Don’t agree with me!” Wei Ying bursts, laughter somehow even brighter than before. Lan Wangji is captivated by the way the fading light frames Wei Ying’s face in its soft glow and the way Wei Ying’s laughter seems to make everything better. Lan Wangji is captivated by a lot of things around Wei Ying.
As the laughter dies down, Wei Ying lets the kid grab the grass butterfly, which he promptly guards from Wei Ying, pouting up at him. “Okay.”
Lan Wangji perks up, waiting for Wei Ying to explain further.
“Okay, you can come back,” he says and smiles. “I’ll try to get some actual tea around here before then.”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji says. “I will bring gifts for A-Yuan.”
“Yay! Rich-gege! Rich-gege!” A-Yuan cheers.
“Alright, brat, come on. You can gloat on the way back,” he grumbles with amusement. He looks to Lan Wangji, who hasn’t moved once throughout this whole conversation, and with a small, almost shy smile, says, “See you around then?”
“Mn. I will see you soon, Wei Ying.”
Lan Wangji watches the pair walk up the mountain until he can’t see them anymore. As he flies home that night, he feels light enough that he could practically float away.
That night, Wei Wuxian lays listlessly staring at the ceiling of the perpetually dark and damp cave he’s taken to calling home over the last few months. He really should be working, he has plenty to do after all, but a lot happened today and he’s pretty drunk, so he’s giving himself a pass.
Wei Wuxian rolls onto his side and thinks about the look on Wen Qing’s face as she held her newly conscious brother again. Wei Wuxian refused to admit it, but he really was scared he wouldn’t be able to keep his promise to wake Wen Ning up for a while there, so he’s beyond relieved that it all worked out. Those siblings deserve so much more than Wei Wuxian, but he’s glad to give whatever he can if it’ll make them as happy as they were today.
And the other Wen remnants, too. Wei Wuxian thinks of their hopeful expressions as he sat down at their dinner table, their genuine gratitude almost overwhelming. He feels a smile tugging at his lips as he remembers the fun conversation he had with Uncle Four, of learning new things about these people he’s chosen to protect, of A-Yuan unabashedly showing off his day’s riches and telling his granny about the cool new brother he met, of the laughter and cheer enveloping the once lonely Burial Mounds.
It’s been a while since he’s felt so happy and accepted. He’s gotten so used to the fear and the way everyone walked on eggshells around him, he’s forgotten what that was like. Even if he can’t be with Jiang Cheng or his shijie right now, Wei Wuxian thinks that maybe… maybe he might be able to be family with these people as well. A sense of both warmth and fierce protectiveness wash over him at the realization.
He can’t lose these people, he realizes. Wei Wuxian refuses to lose family ever again.
Wei Wuxian’s thoughts wander to the other surprise of the day. Lan Zhan really was quite strange today. He didn’t ask him to come back to Gusu even once, he realizes. And that request… Lan Zhan looked so earnest as he asked Wei Wuxian if he could come visit again.
Even more surprising, he thinks, is the anticipation and joy Wei Wuxian feels at the thought of Lan Zhan coming again. Maybe he’s just lonely enough that anyone will do, but Wei Wuxian can admit he’s always had a strange soft spot for the icy Second Jade. He can’t explain it but being around Lan Zhan is just fun. It’s fun to tease him, to see how he reacts. Doesn’t hurt that he’s easy on the eyes. Wei Wuxian’s always liked pretty things and god knows the Burial Mounds don’t inspire much beauty.
Wei Wuxian really hopes this isn’t just a thinly veiled attempt to get him to stop using demonic cultivation. He wishes he could just tell Lan Zhan the truth and then maybe he’ll understand and not push it anymore, but… the thought of talking about any of it out loud makes him feel sick with fear. And there’s a part of him that thinks that if Lan Zhan did know, he’d tell him to give it all up. That if he can’t follow the righteous path, he shouldn’t follow any path at all and maybe Wei Wuxian could do that—no, he would do that, he was prepared to do that—if he didn’t have so much he needed to keep safe now.
Wei Wuxian buries his palms into his eyes at the memories of Qiongqi Path, of Wen Qing wailing over her brother’s lifeless body, of the terror and misery of innocent people, of the sound of a crying toddler.
No. Wei Wuxian refuses to lose them.
Maybe Lan Zhan was being genuine. Maybe he really won’t cross the line and try and ‘reform’ Wei Wuxian anymore. Honesty was definitely in those ridiculous Lan rules and Wei Wuxian doesn’t think Lan Zhan is all that good at lying, anyway, so maybe he meant it. Maybe he just wants to help. Ugh, which begs the question: what the hell does Lan Zhan think he needs help with?
Wei Wuxian groans and flips over to his other side. Trying to figure out what goes on in that icy Lan brain gives Wei Wuxian a headache. He’s going to stop worrying about it for now. Lan Zhan will visit again soon, he said. He’ll figure all this out then. There’s plenty of other things that Wei Wuxian can spend his time worrying about!
Like his shijie’s wedding, which is apparently in a week. Wei Wuxian tries not to feel bitter about it—about not knowing, about the stupid peacock, about not being able to be there for his favorite person on the day she’s been looking forward to since they were kids. He swallows down the lump in his throat. Wei Wuxian misses his sister a lot.
No, no, this is depressing. The Wei Wuxian of tomorrow can deal with all of these heavy emotions, he thinks. The Wei Wuxian of right now is tired and drunk and had an ultimately really good day. He doesn’t get a lot of good days anymore, so he should be allowed to bask in it for a little while longer! He’s not gonna fall asleep with tears in his eyes, damnit! Not today!
So instead, Wei Wuxian goes back to thinking about the Wen. Of good wine. Of little A-Yuan. And if the image of a Lan Zhan clearly panicking about a random toddler crying on his leg slips in, well. No one’s around to tell on him.
A couple weeks later, Wei Wuxian is out on the streets of Yiling, picking up some radish seeds at Wen Qing’s request.
Wei Wuxian knows Wen Qing’s been pushing him to go do things outside the mountain more since he’s clearly been a little depressed about not being able to attend his shijie’s wedding. Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli had covertly visited him a few days before the ceremony to show him Jiang Yanli’s dress and that had brought Wei Wuxian’s spirits up for a while, but on the day of the wedding, Wei Wuxian sulked and played his flute in some tree outside of their makeshift village for practically the whole day. When he got back, Wen Qing had all but thrown A-Yuan on him in some strange attempt to cheer him up. To her credit, it did work a bit. A-Yuan has the power of being a very cute toddler after all.
Ever since then, Wei Wuxian knows he’s been more subdued than usual. Wen Qing clearly feels a little guilty about being part of the reason Wei Wuxian can’t be with his sister—although Wei Wuxian wishes he could convince Wen Qing that she doesn’t have to feel guilty about his own choice—and has been giving him random tasks to distract him or brighten his spirits or something. The other Wen have been crowding around him more than usual too, which Wei Wuxian finds he can’t really complain about. He likes their company.
At any rate, Wei Wuxian was kicked off the mountain by Wen Qing again this morning with instructions to buy radish seeds (“and only radish seeds, Wei Wuxian!”). He doesn’t have Wen Yuan with him today, so he’s alone when he spots a white-robed figure approaching. Looking up from where he was gazing lovingly at the alcohol for sale (he was only looking, he swears, Wen Qing!), he’s greeted with the impeccable as ever Lan Wangji, guqin on his back, sword at his side, and a mysterious sack hanging by his right hand.
“Fancy meeting you here, oh great Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian says reverently in teasing.
“Mn,” he says, insightful as ever. “I’ve come back.”
He stifles a snort and nods to the mystery sack. “What’s that?”
“Gifts.”
Wei Wuxian places a hand on his forehead and tilts to the side dramatically. “Ah, come to steal away my son with promises of riches, I see.”
Lan Zhan gives him a look.
“Or maybe you’re here to win over my son in an attempt to get closer to his incredibly attractive father?” Wei Wuxian teases.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan scolds, a light pink dusting the tips of his ears, although it’s probably just a trick of the light.
“Alright, alright, I’ll stop teasing you,” he laughs.
Glancing around, he can tell that they’re attracting some attention. There’s certainly been an uptick in the number of ‘Supreme Lord of Evil, Yiling Patriarch’ fans gawking at him from the shadows around here in the last couple weeks since rumor about Wen Ning got out, but in general, the people of Yiling know who he is and don’t really bat an eye at his appearance anymore. Lan Wangji, the great Second Jade of Lan, Hanguang-jun, wandering the streets of the rundown Yiling, making casual conversation with the Yiling Patriarch? That raises some eyebrows. Wei Wuxian suddenly remembers that Lan Zhan is someone with a reputation to uphold and feels a little guilty.
“Did you want to go back to the Burial Mounds?” he asks, then gestures to the bag in his own hand. “I was on an errand for Wen Qing, but I’ve got what I need.”
“Mn.”
They make their way through town, Wei Wuxian leading Lan Zhan to his new back route up the mountain. Lan Zhan raises an eyebrow at this, since he was here only a couple weeks ago and had seen the route Wei Wuxian took before.
“You’ve seen those people around town, haven’t you? All those posters or whatever calling me the ‘Supreme Lord of Evil,’” he shakes his head with a laugh. “They’re even calling me by some ridiculous, uppity title now.”
“Yiling Patriarch.”
Wei Wuxian turns to him in a bit of surprise. “Has that little name made its way to Gusu even? Or did you only learn it today?”
“There are… rumors,” Lan Zhan says, uncertainly. “The Yiling Patriarch and his Ghost General are taking on disciples to learn demonic cultivation.”
Wei Wuxian snorts. “Disciples, my ass. Really, ‘the Yiling Patriarch.’ Hanguang-jun gets such a wonderful title and I’m stuck with something boring like ‘Yiling Patriarch.’”
Lan Zhan looks a bit guilty at that and Wei Wuxian is quick to correct, “Hey, don’t worry too much about it. I’m not really that upset. Anyways, the whole ‘Supreme Lord of Evil’ thing is stupid, but I won’t say I don’t deserve it. I reap what I sow and all that, right?”
Lan Zhan somehow looks more upset. “I do not like it.”
Wei Wuxian hides a wince with a shrug as he feels like he’s about to get another lecture on why the demonic path is no good, or whatever. Luckily for him, they’re just about at the main settlement, so Wei Wuxian is spared by the sound of a squealing toddler hurtling himself in their direction.
He collides into Lan Zhan’s leg with an audible thump, immediately glued on like some sort of super strength magnet.
“Rich-gege is back! Rich-gege is back!”
Lan Zhan looks at Wei Wuxian with clear panic and confusion and Wei Wuxian has to stifle a laugh. Lan Zhan really is out of his depth when it comes to kids. Wei Wuxian peels A-Yuan from Lan Zhan’s leg and says, “A-Yuan, give him a little space.”
A-Yuan concedes and looks up at Lan Zhan with stars in his eyes. “Rich-gege, did you bring presents like you promised?”
This seems to register as something Lan Zhan knows how to react to, as he pulls the sack he was carrying to his front and crouches down to gently hand it over to the little gremlin. “Mn. Presents for A-Yuan.”
“Yay! Presents from Rich-gege!” he yells, snatching the sack away and running off to explore its contents immediately.
“A-Yuan, say thank you properly, at least,” Wei Wuxian yells after him half-heartedly, amused by how quickly Wen Yuan lost interest in his Rich-gege as soon as he secured his bounty. “Sorry about that, Lan Zhan.”
“It is alright. I am glad he likes it,” Lan Zhan says. “I was unsure of what toys children enjoy, so I asked the advice of some vendors in Caiyi Town. They were very helpful.”
“You probably didn’t play much with toys as a kid, did you?” Wei Wuxian laughs. “The Lan sect’s idea of fun is memorizing 3,000 rules after all. Unless ‘no fun allowed in the Cloud Recesses’ is a rule, too?”
“It is not a rule,” Lan Zhan says, but does not deny anything else.
“Wei Wuxian, if you bought anything useless again, I’ll kill you,” Wei Wuxian hears Wen Qing say from his right. As she comes into view, she seems to startle slightly at the sight of Lan Zhan. She raises an eyebrow at Wei Wuxian, but he ignores her.
“Yeah, yeah, I got your radish seeds,” he says and tosses the little bag at her. She catches it, eyes moving between both Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan thoughtfully.
“Hanguang-jun,” she greets Lan Zhan. “I was unaware you were coming.”
Wei Wuxian winces at the glare Wen Qing shoots him. Hey, not his fault this time!
“Wen-guniang,” Lan Zhan greets back. “I apologize. I am the one who came without warning.”
Luckily, before this awkward conversation can continue any further, Wen Ning comes walking on the same path that Wen Qing had come from, holding a sack of something from the farms.
“A-Ning,” Wen Qing immediately calls. Wen Ning perks up, noticing Lan Zhan and bowing as best he can without dropping the large sack, offering up a shy “Hanguang-jun.”
“A-Ning, drop off those grains then come help me make some tea for our guest,” Wen Qing says. Wen Ning nods shakily and goes running off. Wen Qing turns back to the two of them. “We’ll meet you in the cave.”
“Told you we’d get some tea around here,” Wei Wuxian brags as soon as Wen Qing is out of earshot. “Can’t promise the best, but it’s a step above plain water at least.”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan says. Wei Wuxian starts towards the Demon-Slaughtering Cave and Lan Zhan follows close behind. “How is Wen Qionglin?”
“Wen Ning? Well, we’re still working out some kinks to be honest, but he’s mostly alright,” Wei Wuxian says. “It’s more a struggle for him mentally, I think. Hard to get used to being dead and all that.”
“That is understandable.”
They lapse into an awkward silence, nothing but the sounds of the Wen working around them. As they walk past, the Wen each look a little stunned when they notice Lan Zhan, which is honestly about the same as Wei Wuxian feels. Wei Wuxian looks over at Lan Zhan again and sees a pensive look on his face as he gazes at the activity around the barren landscape.
“They’re working on farming,” he explains. “That farm over there is for the potatoes. And that one is the radishes. I’ve got a pond near the cave where I’ve been working on growing lotuses, too, but that hasn’t been going as well. Not that any of the farming has been going well. Hard to grow anything good on a literal graveyard, after all.”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan says with a little frown, really not helping Wei Wuxian’s attempts to make conversation. Wei Wuxian gives up and they make it to the Demon-Slaughtering Cave in silence. Once inside, Wei Wuxian takes a quick glance around and is suddenly a little embarrassed at the mess. He hurriedly shifts some things off a couple of rocks and gestures to them with a half-smile.
As they sit, Wen Qing and Wen Ning come back holding a tray of tea. “Wei-gongzi, Hanguang-jun,” Wen Ning greets softly, serving the two of them. “It’s not much, but please enjoy.”
“Mn. Thank you,” Lan Zhan says and gracefully takes a sip of his tea. Wei Wuxian takes a sip of his own and tries not to think about how this is basically still water, it’s so bland. So much for bragging about having tea earlier.
“It’s a good thing you’re here, Hanguang-jun,” Wen Qing comments. Lan Zhan looks up curiously at her. She gestures to Wei Wuxian. “Someone needs to get this idiot out of the funk he’s been in.”
“Funk?” Lan Zhan says with a frown.
“What funk? I’m not in a funk,” Wei Wuxian says more defensively. Wen Qing ignores him completely.
“He’s still depressed that he didn’t get to attend his sister’s wedding,” Wen Qing says, expertly hiding her own feelings on the matter. “All the big sects were invited, right?”
Wei Wuxian perks up, watching Lan Zhan carefully as he takes another long sip of tea.
“Mn. Brother attended.”
“How was it?” Wei Wuxian asks, trying not to sound too desperate for information and failing miserably.
“I was not able to attend myself, so I do not know first-hand,” he replies. “But Brother said Jin-shao-furen was very beautiful and the couple appeared to be very happy.”
Wei Wuxian leans back with a small sigh, unaware he had been leaning forward to begin with. It went well, then. Shijie must’ve been so happy. Wei Wuxian swallows down the lump forming in his throat. “I’m glad.”
Lan Zhan doesn’t say anything, letting Wei Wuxian take a moment to collect himself. Out of the corner of his eye, Wei Wuxian sees Wen Qing and Wen Ning trade guilty looks and he feels guilty himself all over again.
“We’ll let you two talk,” Wen Qing announces and gets up to leave. “A-Ning, come on.”
“So, anything else exciting happen since I last saw you,” Wei Wuxian says, eager to change the subject as Wen Qing and Wen Ning clear out. Lan Zhan pauses and looks thoughtful.
“No,” he says eventually and Wei Wuxian snorts.
“Lan Zhan, oh Lan Zhan,” he sighs. “If you’re gonna visit me here, you really have to keep up with the latest gossip. News reaches Yiling so slowly, so I don’t hear about anything anymore. It’s so boring!”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan says, a little too seriously. “I will try to collect news.”
Wei Wuxian huffs out another laugh. “You don’t have to take me so seriously all the time, you know? You really make it too easy to tease you.”
Lan Zhan turns a bit red, but before Wei Wuxian can needle him further, a voice echoes through the cave. “Wei-gongzi, have you seen A-Ning?”
“He just left with Wen Qing,” Wei Wuxian answers the Wen who’s poked their head in. The Wen seems to panic and backpedal a bit when they notice Lan Zhan. “Shouldn’t be too far from here. What’d you need him for?”
“Ah, just a bit of heavy lifting,” the Wen says, bowing their head apologetically. “Sorry to bother.”
“Lifting?” Lan Zhan directs the question to Wei Wuxian after the Wen makes their escape.
He shrugs. “Probably just moving some dirt or seeds or whatever for the farms. Wen Ning’s been pretty useful for the heavy stuff. Spooky corpse strength and all that, you know how it is.”
For some reason, this seems to annoy Lan Zhan. “I can lift.”
“What?”
“I can lift, also,” Lan Zhan insists.
“I’m sure you can, but you really don’t have to worry about it. Wen Ning can handle it.”
“I can help,” Lan Zhan says, standing up. Wei Wuxian is more than a little confused, but this is also extremely amusing, so he gets up as well.
“Do you want to go help with the farming, then?” he jokes, but Lan Zhan takes him too seriously as always.
“Mn.”
Wei Wuxian laughs again—and really, he’s been laughing a little too much with Lan Zhan today—and they go off to find the wayward Wen, who looks vaguely terrified to have an eager Lan Zhan insisting on helping. They spend the next few hours like that, casually assisting with the farm work.
Midday rolls around and they stop to eat the lunch a couple of the older aunties have brought for them. Lan Zhan is, of course, as stiff as ever, but the Wen are quick to warm up to him when Wei Wuxian is around to act as a buffer. It doesn’t hurt that Lan Zhan has definitely proven himself useful, running around doing whatever task they need of him without even a hint of complaint.
It’s after lunch as they’re moving some last grains into storage together that Wei Wuxian realizes how absolutely ridiculous this situation is. Lan Wangji, the Second Jade of Lan, the great Hanguang-jun, beloved by all, doing manual labor for a run-down settlement of refugees trying to farm the dry, lifeless land on top of a mass graveyard. The thought makes Wei Wuxian start to giggle almost hysterically. Lan Zhan shoots him a concerned look.
“Nothing, nothing, it’s just,” he explains, trying to stifle his laughter, “is this what you had in mind when you said you wanted to help me?”
“I am happy to help however I can,” he says, then pauses pensively. Wei Wuxian senses a turn in the conversation and a knot of dread forms in the pit of his stomach, his previous mirth fizzing out almost immediately.
“But?” he prompts. Lan Zhan looks at him with the same disarming look one gives to a hurt, wild animal they are unsure of approaching.
“Would you be willing to show me?” he asks quietly. Wei Wuxian just lifts an eyebrow at him. “Demonic cultivation.”
Ah, there it is then, Wei Wuxian thinks. Of course it couldn’t be this easy. Of course there would be a catch. No matter what Lan Zhan had said before, Wei Wuxian knows he doesn’t approve of demonic cultivation, so of course he couldn’t get away with just having a normal conversation with him for once. Wei Wuxian ignores the disappointment souring his mood and mentally prepares himself for whatever onslaught of judgement Lan Zhan sees fit to bestow on him today.
“What do you mean ‘show you’? You want me to show you demonic cultivation, the thing you hate so much, just so you can tell me how it’s dangerous and will hurt my temperament and blah, blah, blah?” Wei Wuxian asks bitterly. “We’ve been over this, Lan Zhan. Many times.”
“Not to condemn!” Lan Zhan says, facing Wei Wuxian fully. “Only to learn.”
“Learn?” Wei Wuxian scoffs. “What, the great Hanguang-jun wants to learn a little demonic cultivation on the side? Bullshit.”
“I only wish to understand, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan insists, his tone becoming more desperate. That just pisses Wei Wuxian off more.
“What? So you can relay what you’ve learned back to your stuffy, little sect?” Wei Wuxian snaps, taking a few angry steps towards Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, for his part, doesn’t move, just looking at Wei Wuxian with a more and more desperate shine to his eyes. “So you better ‘understand’ how best to kill or control me? Fuck that.”
“No!” Lan Zhan exclaims. “Opposite! My sect does not know I am here. I want to help Wei Ying. I want Wei Ying to stay alive! I want Wei Ying to be happy!”
Wei Wuxian starts at this, taking a step back, but Lan Zhan just continues.
“Gusu Lan does not have the answers. Wei Ying says this is the path he must take. I do not know what to do, only that I want to do something. So I wish to understand first.”
Wei Ying feels his head spinning over words he never thought he would hear come out of the ever-stuffy Lan Zhan’s mouth. Quieter than before, but still mad, he asks, “Why the hell would you go so far for me? We’ve never exactly been close; you’ve said it yourself.”
“We are close,” Lan Zhan declares, eyes burning with some strange, sudden passion. Wei Wuxian could not be more confused. Is this really the same Lan Zhan who once denied his every advance, insisting “not close, not close”? When did this happen? All anger in him has been turned into utter incredulity.
Before Wei Wuxian can say something, Lan Zhan grabs his right hand with both of his own and looks him dead in the eye.
“Close,” he insists.
Wei Wuxian just stares, blinking dumbly. The knot of dread and anger that had been twisting inside him is gone, as if it never existed. He has no idea how to react. He feels a manic laughter building in his chest, but the longer he stands here, the more embarrassing this somehow gets. Lan Zhan says nothing still and Wei Wuxian realizes how close they’re standing and how warm Lan Zhan’s hand is and, wow, is Lan Zhan not aware of how intensely he’s staring?
“Alright,” Wei Wuxian squeaks, embarrassingly. He clears his throat and averts his gaze, running his free hand through his hair with some mixture of a sigh and a laugh. He looks back. “Alright, fine. You want to be the Yiling Patriarch’s first student, then?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan says and does not let go of Wei Wuxian’s hand. Wei Wuxian just shakes his head. What an incredibly weird day this is, he thinks.
Despite his initial hesitations, Wei Wuxian actually has a lot of fun showing off to Lan Zhan. They go back to the Demon-Slaughtering Cave and Wei Wuxian spends a lot of time just explaining the random devices he’s been working on. Lan Zhan seems genuinely interested in it all and even a little impressed, which isn’t bad for Wei Wuxian’s ego.
The best part of it all is that Lan Zhan actually understands what Wei Wuxian is talking about and can respond with interesting questions, unlike the Wen who just seem impressed without knowing why they should be impressed most of the time. He even offers input into an improved defense system for the Burial Mounds that Wei Wuxian shows him.
Wei Wuxian tries to keep away from his work on the corpses themselves, but Lan Zhan keeps pushing it, so he concedes and offers a basic explanation of how it all works. He expects condemnation or anger or something like usual, but Lan Zhan just offers a sage “Mn” and that’s that.
“Chenqing really is quite useful, isn’t it?” Wei Wuxian comments at one point, twirling the flute in one hand. Lan Zhan’s eyes follow the movement.
“Would you be willing to show me?” he asks after a moment of careful consideration. Wei Wuxian raises his eyebrows and feels a smirk tugging at his lips.
“You want me to play for you, Lan-er-gege?” he teases.
Lan Zhan’s eyes flick back up to him and Wei Wuxian has to suppress a flinch at their intense, earnest interest. “Mn.”
“Follow me then,” Wei Wuxian says, shaking off his moment of fluster. Lan Zhan’s just throwing him off today, that’s all. “There’s a little spot just outside the village to the west that I like to play at.”
Lan Zhan follows without complaint. Once they get to Wei Wuxian’s spot, he plops himself down into the curve of a hollowed tree and gestures to the ground in front of him with a cheeky grin. Lan Zhan doesn’t miss a beat, folding his robes neatly as he sits on the barren ground. Wei Wuxian almost frowns at how easily he’s willing to dirty his pristine Lan sect robes.
“What would you like to hear first, Er-gege?” he asks.
“Whatever Wei Ying would like to play.”
“Hmm,” Wei Wuxian hums thoughtfully, tapping Chenqing on his chin. “How about this, then.”
Wei Wuxian brings Chenqing to his lips, closes his eyes, takes a breath, and begins to play a soft, slow melody, lingering on each note just a little extra to savor the echo ringing across the peaks and valleys of the mountain. It’s not a sad song, although it’s not exactly happy either. Wei Wuxian plays this to calm the corpses sometimes, but he mostly just likes the way it sounds, especially up on the mountaintop.
Cracking an eye open, Wei Wuxian sees that Lan Zhan has closed his eyes as well. He sits pristinely as ever, back straight, not a hair out of place. A light breeze gently brushes his hair to the side, the long ends of the Lan forehead ribbon fluttering neatly behind him. Wei Wuxian feels something at the sight, though he couldn’t verbalize it if you asked him, so instead he weaves the feeling into the highest notes of the song.
He continues to watch him through one eye like that until Lan Zhan blinks and notices he’s being watched. The look on Lan Zhan’s face starts to make Wei Wuxian smile, though he’s proud to say his sound wobbles only slightly before he regains control of his expression. He closes his eyes again and loses himself to the music.
“Xian-gege is playing!” a little voice breaks Wei Wuxian out of his reverie. He stops playing for a second, looking to their newest visitor. “I want to listen too!”
“Ah, A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian says with amusement. “You never said thank you to your good Rich-gege.”
A-Yuan hesitates and looks to Lan Zhan shyly. “Thank you.”
“You are welcome.”
With that out of the way, Wen Yuan promptly crawls onto Lan Zhan’s lap and makes himself comfortable with a contented sigh. Wei Wuxian barely holds in a laugh at the sheer panic on Lan Zhan’s face. Lan Zhan looks to him with a clear expression of ‘help please,’ but Wei Wuxian says nothing. Lan Zhan interacting with a kid is just way too funny to interfere with.
“Comfy?” is all he says. A-Yuan nods sagely.
“Play gege,” he commands, and Wei Wuxian laughs for real this time. If only everyone knew that the big, scary Yiling Patriarch is at the beck and call of a toddler.
“What a demanding audience,” he murmurs with a laugh, winking at Lan Zhan.
He places Chenqing back at his lips and begins a lighter, happier tune, although it’s just as slow as the last. It’s one he knows A-Yuan likes, even though he doesn’t really use it much for demonic cultivation. Wei Wuxian’s mostly forgotten about the pretense of showing Lan Zhan what he does for demonic cultivation anyways.
This time when he cracks an eye open midway through playing, he’s greeted with a Lan Zhan ever so gently holding A-Yuan on his lap, carefully petting his head. Wen Yuan, for his part, has completely snuggled in, the brat. With eyes closed and a thumb in his mouth, Wei Wuxian would bet anything that the kid will be fast asleep by the end of this one song. Wei Wuxian looks back up to see Lan Zhan’s face and, for the second time in however many minutes, feels a flutter in his chest at the sight.
Lan Zhan has closed his eyes again but looks somehow even more relaxed than A-Yuan. There’s even the slightest hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips. Wei Wuxian quickly has to shut his eyes before his playing is affected by the distraction. He sneaks a quick second glance and, yup, still smiling. Ah, what a weird day, what a weird day.
Wei Wuxian is unaware of how many hours he spends weaving one melody into another, cracking an eye open to stare every once in a while. He knows it’s long enough for the sun to begin to set, a golden light bathing his sleeping audience. It’s at that moment that Lan Zhan opens his eyes, turning a half lidded gaze to Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian finishes the song he was on and brings Chenqing down from his lips. He really must’ve been playing for a long time; his lips and jaw are both sore.
Cracking a smile, he says, “You’re good with A-Yuan. He really might defect to the Lan sect at this rate.”
Lan Zhan looks down at A-Yuan who is lightly snoring and probably drooling all over those fancy Lan robes. “He likes Wei Ying best. He wanted to listen to you play.”
“You flatterer.”
Lan Zhan looks to the setting sun, then back at Wei Wuxian. “I must go soon.”
“Ah, right. You and your curfew,” he says, trying to will the sting of disappointment he feels at that realization back down. Neither of them gets up for a moment longer.
“I can take A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian says eventually. “Come with me to drop him off with his Granny, then I can see you out.”
“Mn.”
Wei Wuxian takes Wen Yuan from Lan Zhan, careful not to wake him up. The kid is pretty solidly asleep, so he’s not too worried. They make their way through the village, the warm glow of the setting sun at their backs, and hand A-Yuan off to Granny who smiles kindly at the two of them and thanks them for taking care of him.
Down the path to the mountain’s exit, the two of them remain silent. Wei Wuxian finds it’s not an uncomfortable silence. At the bottom of the hill, Lan Zhan turns to him in the same way as two weeks ago.
“Thank you for today,” he says.
“No, thank you,” Wei Wuxian smiles. “You literally did manual labor for us. You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to,” Lan Zhan replies insistently. “I enjoyed your flute playing.”
“Ah, sorry I kind of lost track of time there.”
“No need for apologies,” Lan Zhan says. “I enjoyed it.”
“Even if you were getting drooled on by a toddler the whole time?” Wei Wuxian teases.
“It was not bad.”
Wei Wuxian laughs. “I’ll call you over next time the kid looks about ready to drool on me then.”
“Let’s play a duet next time,” Lan Zhan offers.
“Sure,” he agrees easily. “I think I’d like playing with you.”
“I’ll bring cultivation music from the Lan archives. You may find it useful.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Wei Wuxian says, raising his eyebrows. “I’d appreciate it.”
Wei Wuxian’s lost count of the day’s surprises, but he’s caught off-guard once again as Lan Zhan, golden light framing his face, honest-to-god smiles. It’s no big, toothy grin or anything, but the corners of his lips have turned up gently and there is a slight crinkle at the edges of his eyes that takes Wei Wuxian’s breath away. No, really, Wei Wuxian doesn’t breathe for a second.
“Mn.”
In a panicked fluster, he says, “Ah, well, uh, until next time then?”
“Mn. Until next time,” Lan Zhan replies, still somehow smiling. “I will see you soon, Wei Ying.”
“Yeah. See you around, Lan Zhan.”
Wei Wuxian is having a hard time tearing his eyes away from Lan Zhan, but Lan Zhan doesn’t move either. They stand there staring at one another for a moment longer before Wei Wuxian panics and takes a step back, awkwardly gesturing to the path behind him.
“I’ll, uh, be going then,” he says and promptly turns around, afraid that if he doesn’t, he might just keep staring at Lan Zhan forever. As he makes his way up the mountain, he can feel Lan Zhan’s gaze still glued to his back. Once he’s far enough up, he turns back and Lan Zhan is gone.
“What was that, what was that, what was that,” Wei Wuxian mumbles hysterically to himself. He has no idea what happened today and his emotions are a wreck. What was up with Lan Zhan? Why does he have to go and look at him like that? What is going on?
“Ew,” Wei Wuxian is startled by a voice to his left. It’s Wen Qing. Somehow, he’s made it back to the main settlement in his haze of confusion. “That look on your face is disgusting.”
“What?” Wei Wuxian exclaims. “What look? I don’t have a look!”
She snorts. “I’m not telling you. It’s more fun to watch you squirm.”
“Wen Qing!” he whines as she walks away. “So mean to me.”
It’s at that point that he remembers something else he didn’t notice until now. He told Lan Zhan “until next time” all casually, as if that was just expected. And Lan Zhan just said it back to him. They… they really made a promise to meet again soon.
Ah, really! What is going on here?!
Wei Wuxian doesn’t have an easy time sleeping that night.
(And back at the Cloud Recesses, safely hidden away in the Jingshi, neither does Lan Wangji.)