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Sirius: Well, it looks like there's no other choice. I'll sleep with Snape.
The Black heir looked around calmly, seemingly indifferent to the sudden silence and stunned looks from the Order members. Ojoloco choked on his butterbeer.
Albus: Sirius, what...?
Sirius: Come on, Albus. You've called this emergency meeting to discuss Snape's condition, so you're worried about him being found out. You've said it yourself, he's stressed, tense, irascible and nervous. He has trouble sleeping and concentrating. And sex relieves all those symptoms.
Albus: Sirius, it's true that I'm very worried, but I would never ask you....
Sirius interrupted: Yes, yes, I know. But you all do so much for the Order, sacrificing every day. It wouldn't be fair if someone else had to take on this responsibility as well when I'm here doing nothing.
Remus: Sirius...
Sirius stood up just as the door to the entrance closed: Yes, I know, it's a big sacrifice I'm making, but these are hard times and we all have to make an effort. Of course it will be hard work, and it will take several months of repetition for optimum results, but I think it's the least I can do....
Everyone looked at the kitchen door when Snape appeared, looking exhausted.
- Mr. Headmaster, Minerva has told me that....
The professor couldn't finish speaking, Black had approached him and was pulling his robe towards the corridor.
- Come on, Snape.
- Black! What the hell are you doing? Going where?
- To my room. To have sex.
- I beg your pardon?!
- Oh, come on, don't protest. It's for the good of the Order. It's absolutely essential to winning this war.
Underneath the kitchen table, several members of the Order drew their wands, trying to be prepared for the possibly lethal curse Black would receive. Snape gasped, stunned, for a moment.
- Bu...well, if it's for the good of the Order and absolutely essential to winning the war....
Everyone watched in silence as Snape allowed himself to be dragged away by Sirius. After a few minutes Albus finally regained the ability to speak.
- Well. It's... Wonderful to have people so dedicated to the cause, don't you think?
He ignored the puzzled looks from of the Order's members . After a few minutes, Molly was the first to break the silence.
- They were really just waiting for an excuse, weren't they?