Chapter Text
“That’s rough buddy.”
Seriously? That’s rough buddy? Zuko is an idiot.
“Sorry…” he mumbles hesitantly. “That must have been really hard for you. Do you want to tell me about her?”
The last part trails off into an almost whisper.
Zuko didn’t want to impose, but it would probably do Sokka some good to get it off his chest. Besides, he was curious to learn more about the people he’s living with now.
Sokka’s head snaps up at the question.
“Really?” he says, desperation dancing in his eyes.
“Yeah, I’d love to hear about it,” Zuko sends him what he hopes is an encouraging smile but is probably more of an uncomfortable and frankly disturbing show of teeth.
He know he doesn’t have the typical look of the perfect, porcelain omegas he grew up around. Half his face is a mottled discolored mess for Agni’s sake. And it wasn’t all the great to start with anyway.
“Well um,” Sokka sighs wistfully, “So, Yue actually presented as an alpha, but she was raised as an omega. She almost died at birth, so her parents were super protective of her. She told me she always knew something felt off about the way she was treated, but she didn’t know how to live any other way. Nothing really changed when they realized she was actually an alpha, it was like her parents had already made up their minds about who she was supposed to be.”
Zuko nods carefully, fingers lightly brushing the metal floor of the war balloon where his butt is firmly planted. He knew that feeling all too well.
“I’m sure that was really hard for her. Everyone thought I was an alpha. My father wouldn’t have accepted anything less,” he tries to hide his grimace, “so I was treated like one. I pushed myself to be the best at everything, even when it went against my instincts, but the entire time it was like some part of me was trapped inside just wailing to be let out. I had to learn how to ignore it or I would have gone insane.”
“Hey! That’s exactly how she described it!” Sokka says bewildered, his eyes pointed to some distant place in the sky. “Must be a royalty thing growing up with gender dysphoria.”
Zuko snorts. He could tell the quip wasn’t meant maliciously and if joking helped Sokka acknowledge his past, he sure wasn’t going to be the one to tell him no.
“Sorry.” Sokka looks back at him with a soft expression. “I don’t mean to make light of it, but it’s kind of nice to be able to talk about her to someone who understands.”
Zuko feels that. He’s never met anyone who could even begin to understand all of the haunting thoughts that still plagued his mind, but talking to Sokka helped ease the burden, if only slightly. He mourns for Sokka's lost love, the tattered pieces of his heart shining through in the way he speaks of her with such reverence.
They sit together in silence for a minute, neither meeting the other’s gaze.
Right. This is probably where Zuko was supposed to continue the conversation. He could totally do that. He’s an expert at talking.
“You must have really loved her to still hold on to all these feelings,” he finally says.
The growing ache in his heart overwhelmed any other coherent thought. Oh, to be loved that wholly. What Zuko wouldn’t give to have a love as magnificent as the tales he read about growing up.
“Of course I’m still holding on to my feelings for her! She was my mate!” Sokka snaps out heatedly, finishing with a sharp growl and an expression like he’d love nothing more than to tear Zuko’s throat out.
Zuko freezes, his ears filling with cotton and his vision going hazy as he inconspicuously shrinks away from the enraged beta and into the furthest corner of the airship.
Fuck. Things had been going so well. He was actually beginning to feel almost, maybe comfortable with Sokka, and then he just had to mess it all up by putting his foot in his big mouth. Stupid, he berates himself. This is why he should never be allowed to speak ever.
Alright. In and out, Zuko. Find your center. You have to fix this.
“I’m sorry Sokka. It was not my intention to belittle your relationship. I need to be more careful of how I speak, please forgive me for my incompetence. I will do better next time,” he forces out in the most monotonous, emotionless way he could manage, head bowed instinctively.
Inside, he was terrified.
“No, no, no,” Sokka says franticly, his hands out in a similar fashion to how one would attempt to placate a wild animal. He seemed almost… panicked?
“I should be the one apologizing, it was wrong of me to speak to you that way. I just get a little protective when it comes to Yue. If I don’t, then who will, ya know?”
Zuko looks up hesitantly and upon seeing the earnest expression on Sokka’s face, exhales, humming in acknowledgment and slowly releasing some of the tension he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. He snugly wraps his arms around the bottoms of his thighs to pull his knees to his chest.
He is safe here. Sokka is one of the good ones. Breathe in. Breathe out. He brushes his cheek into his knees and watches as the fluffy clouds float by, contemplating what Sokka had said. He had said they were mates, didn’t he?
“Um…” Zuko hesitates. “What did you mean you were mates? Didn’t you only know each other for a few days?” he eventually blurts out, eyes still cast to the side to avoid eye contact.
“Yeah, we didn’t have the chance to officially mate, but, when I locked eyes with her for the first time, I knew that she was mine and that I was hers.” The unapologetic love and adoration in his eyes was blinding.
“In the Southern Water Tribe we called it a Match. It was practically a legend though. I’d never met anyone else with a Match until Aang showed up and got all oogey with Katara,” he reminisced with a slightly nauseated expression.
That’s fair. From what Zuko had seen of the Avatar and the waterbender, he didn’t blame him for being a little bit grossed out about it. He winces at the thought of having to see Azula with a significant other. Yikes.
His mother had told him stories of soulfires before. Of love so deep it would climb the highest mountain or cross the widest sea. How two people met and would rather die than be separated again. Was there something more to those tales than he realized?
“Apparently it’s hereditary though,” Sokka continues, not missing a beat, “like you’re more likely to have a match if someone else in your family does as well but-EEEEEEEP,“ he shrieked out as the war balloon violently stutters and sways. Zuko latches onto the edge of the war balloon, using it as leverage to hoist himself up, glancing around critically.
“What’s going on?” Sokka eyes met his uneasily, evidently expecting him to have an answer. Seriously Sokka? And Zuko thought he was supposed to be the weak, defenseless one. Gender stereotypes were such-
“Ohhhh,” Zuko says nonchalantly, realizing what had happened. “I think we’re here.”
He leans further over the edge spotting their impending doom in the distance.
-
After stealthily sneaking their way inside, they find the guard barracks with extra uniforms lined up in little cubbies.
Sokka races forward to snatch up one of the jackets, holding it up with a wide grin.
“Aww, Zuko,” he teases, “What are we going to do? I don’t think they make these in child sizes.”
“Hmm. You’re so funny Sokka. Hysterical, really. But, I’m not that small!” The following snarl is involuntary.
Seriously? He grits his teeth. He is a very respectable height for a male omega. It’s not like he chose to stop growing at 13. Well-balanced meals weren’t exactly readily available during his exile at sea.
“Eh, you really kind of are though dude.” Sokka shrugs and begins untying his tunic, letting it fall to the ground. Miles of smooth tan skin fill Zuko’s field of vision and he quickly averts his eyes as Sokka clumsily shimmies on the undershirt to the guard uniform.
Zuko rolls his eyes, huffing noisily at the comment and at Sokka’s lack of modesty. He storms over to one of the cubbies that had the faintest trace of an omega’s scent lingering, hoping the clothes will be more tailored to his body. He jerkily inspects the garments for quality and holds the pants up to his own legs, frowning as they trail past the tips of his toes.
"Please,” Sokkas begins, looking over to Zuko, words briefly muffled as he dons the standard issue shoulder pads, “as if your small size doesn’t make you even cuter and more omega-y. You know if I wasn’t so into alphas I might even consider- ”
“SOKKA!” Zuko shrieks, turning as red as his favorite silk pants from home and covering his burning cheeks with his hands. Agni, he needs a break. Maybe a spa day all by himself in the furthest bathing room of the air temple. That sounds pretty nice.
“You can't just say things like that! Even if you meant it, which I know you don’t, it’s inappropriate.” Maybe Sokka was just like the others after all. Agni, the pain of being ridiculed by his peers never ends. A thousand tiny paper cuts will surely be the death of him.
He’s had to deal with the taunting his entire life, but, with the mutilation of his face, it became inescapable. He thought it was finally over now that he’d joined forces with the Avatar and his friends. Because, they were the good guys after all, weren’t they?
After his presentation at the age of 12, people, mostly alphas, would flirt with him just enough to get him interested, then laugh in his face for thinking they were ever being serious. It was humiliating and degrading. Most days he was convinced he wasn’t even an omega anymore. Like his disfigurement made him some kind of hybrid gender that had no place in the world.
Sokka looks at him funny, opening his mouth to say something, but Zuko cuts him off.
“I’m not in the mood right now Sokka, would you just turn around already so I can change?”
Sokka’s rolls his eyes, irritation overtaking his sharp features.
“Seriously? Of course, your royal prissiness, I wouldn’t want to offend your delicate sensibilities," his says, voice saturated with sarcasm.
Sokka spins around, crossing his arms and tapping his foot.
“Hurry up, princess.”
Zuko winces at the biting words, his weariness from the day mounting. Sokka is still a kid after all, he just doesn’t understand.
He slips into his own stolen uniform with practiced efficiency. It was perfectly reasonable in Zuko’s mind that someone who wasn’t his mate shouldn’t be looking at him in any state of undress. He angrily buttons up his jacket. That didn’t make him some stuck-up brat. He shoved his feet into too big boots. He just has specific feelings about modesty and wants them to be respected. He finished by yanking the helmet over his unruly wind-blown hair. He exhales, trying to regain his composure before facing Sokka.
“Come ooooon,” Sokka drags out, throwing his head back. The frustration comes back full force.
“Okay, you can turn around now.” Zuko says snappishly.
Sokka made an exaggerated motion of slowly turning around and uncovering his eyes.
“Whew!” Sokka exclaims, bitterness oozing from his every word, “thank Tui and La you’re fully covered now. My depraved, peasant eyes are unworthy to catch even a glimpse of you in such a vulnerable state. I’m surprised I’m allowed to look at you. Like ever.” The tactless words settle like stones in Zuko’s stomach.
“Just shut up, Sokka,” Zuko bites out trying not to let any of the hurt seep through the cracks of his crumbling emotional state. He didn’t even bother to correct him. Sokka could think what he wants about him, it’s not like it matters anyway. They just need to find Sokka’s dad and get out of here.
“What do we do now?”