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It was happening again. Dreams turning into nightmares.
For example, for an instant he is with Sherlock, having the best time of his life and the next he is watching Sherlock falling from the roof and his lifeless body on pavement.
John didn't know what triggered it but he wasn't able to get sleep, waking up in the middle of night with his heart thumping in his chest.
Sherlock, of course, noticed. John's mood swings were obvious when he was sleep deprived.
So, when John came down in the middle of night to make some tea, Sherlock was slouched on the sofa.
"Nightmare?"
John hummed without turning towards Sherlock.
"You haven't been getting enough sleep," observed Sherlock.
John scoffed, "You're one to speak." He turned around and looked at Sherlock with raised brows and immediately regretted his words as a hurt flash across the detective's face, "It's nothing I haven't had dealt with before."
There was silence from the other side of the room so John concluded that the conversation was over. He was wrong.
"You can talk to me. Talking about stuff helps," and John almost didn't catch the words, "John, it would be my failure as a friend if I couldn't help you."
John walked towards Sherlock, contemplating his next words in his mind because Sherlock just confessed that he cares for him. He stopped right in front of the detective.
"Hey! You're my best friend, Sherlock. And you could never fail me," John said, softly, "And you know it means a lot to me."
Sherlock stared at him and he gulped, a flash of Sherlock's face, shot right between the head, appeared behind his eyes. And he shut them tightly. He almost reached for Sherlock's hand to check the pulse, almost.
"Are they about Afghanistan?"
"Kind of."
Sherlock hummed and reached for John's hand, giving it a light squeeze.
And John felt tears brimming in his eyes, "Sherlock," his voice sounded broken to his own ears.
"John, it's alright," murmured Sherlock, rubbing tiny circles with his thumbs on John's hand.
John took Sherlock's hand, his finger seeking for the pulse and he almost choked with relief when he could feel the pulsing vein under his finger tips.
Sherlock watched him with intent and Sherlock felt his own throat closing up, seeing the meaning of the action, "Oh! John."
John lunged forward and wrapped his arms around the detective and buried his face in the detective's shoulder. It was awkward and his back was straining but he didn't care because he could feel Sherlock's breath.
Sherlock was at a loss. He didn't expect such a reaction but he stood up and wrapped his arms around his blogger's back, holding John close. He felt his shirt getting wet and soon John's own frame was shaking with sobs.
"John, shhh, I'm here. I'm safe. It's alright," Sherlock's reassuring words help but John couldn't stop the tears that pricked down his cheek nor could he help the pathetic choked sounds. He further buried his face into Sherlock's neck.
Sherlock rubbed tiny comforting circles on John's back, his lips brushing John's hairline before he dropped a shy touch of kiss on top of John's hair. He felt his own eyes welling with tears knowing how his death had affected John, fake or not . He swallowed hard. Murmuring soothing words to John.
John sobs turned into hiccups and he pulled away, his head ducked down as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.
It broke Sherlock's heart a little, tears striking on John's face and John's chin trembling with the effort to not to chatter his teeth.
Sherlock lifted John's face up with a finger on John's chin. His blogger was not meeting his eyes, "John, look at me."
John shook his head and Sherlock sighed, "I'm so sorry, John. I had no idea that you would be affected so much by my stunt."
John choked back tears, "Sherlock, you bloody idiot, you know I loved you." His voice was hoarse and he felt a weight on his chest vanishing as the words made it out of his mouth.
"Loved?"
John didn't meet Sherlock's gaze, he knew it was not the detective's area. He shifted on his feet, his arms feeling awkward hanging by his sides.
"Hmmmm, I shouldn't have-"
"You said 'loved'. Past tense," Sherlock cut him off.
John's head jerked towards Sherlock, his eyes wide with confusion. It couldn't be, could it? No, I can't be!
Well, cat was already out of bag, might as well, the complete truth shall come to light.
"Still, I love you," clarified John, "and before you say anything, I know, it's awkward for you and you don't do relationships and I don't want any of this to change anything between-"
Sherlock cut him off with a kiss, it was awkward, ill-measured and it fell on the corner of John's mouth but it was perfect.
John's eyes widened like a saucer, "Sherlock?"
"Love you, too," replied Sherlock, "I didn't realise it until I was away and then it was too late."
John's mind stilled to a screeching halt and he blinked, "Really?" John murmured.
"Yes, John," whispered Sherlock, as if it were a secret between the two.
John met Sherlock's gaze and saw the earnest in Sherlock's eyes.
He clung to Sherlock, "Oh my god!"
And then it was, Sherlock watched in slow motion as John's face lit up like a star and he could hear his own heart beating in his chest. John's gloomy eyes now filled with happiness which reached up from his lips to his smile. And it was infectious and Sherlock found his own heard swelling with love for the man standing in front of him.
Sherlock cupped John's face into his hand, his hand shook lightly as he caress John's cheek with his thumb. He wanted to do this since forever. He brushed the drying tears off.
"Sherlock," breathed John, his voice filled with astonishment. Like he couldn't believe.
So, Sherlock kissed him, again and again. Simmering small peck all over John's face. Cheeks, lips, forehead.
John fisted Sherlock's front of grey tee and lunged forward to capture his Sherlock's lips into a proper kiss.
Sherlock squeled but didn't wasted any and kiss John back, cupping John's neck.
When they broke apart, Sherlock was one to speak, "John, scientific researches had showed that sleeping with someone else can help with nightmares."
John smiled, "Are you suggesting we share a bed?"
"If that's fine with you, yes."
"Oh God yes!"