Chapter Text
Some things are best to be left unsaid, Miko believed so.
Like the perplexing feelings that swelled in her chest, or the puzzled look Suisei gave her sometimes when their eyes met.
Or the rare gentleness and softness in Suisei's tone when she voiced her concern for Miko's well-being.
Or the warmness and fuzziness she felt in the stomach whenever Suisei showed her caring side to Miko.
The surprising sadness she felt when Miko saw the other shining on stage, like a star in the night sky that's far beyond her reach.
Things like these are best to be kept unsaid, and Miko was sure Suisei would also agree with her on this. And, to be honest, she would not know what she has to say about them anyway. She knew there were many things hidden behind those words, those looks and those gestures they shared, layer after layer. But did she have an explanation for the way she felt when she was with Suisei? No. Not at all.
Okay. Maybe a little. A tiny part of her mind. Somewhere deep down in her consciousness, she knew the reason why her heart would flutter whenever she was with Suisei, knew the reason why she felt the ache in her chest when she realised there was a significant distance between her and the latter. But Miko, being Miko, did not want to admit the thought, so she gradually pushed it to the back of her mind. And here she was, pretending not to know the reason for all of the foreign feelings she's been experiencing. It's not like she had already figured out her fondness for Suisei but did not want to admit it or anything. Right?
But why? Why was it so hard to admit she had undeniable affection for the blue-haired girl though? Maybe it's because she knew, for sure, Suisei would not have the same feelings as hers.
She will not look at Miko the way Miko wanted to be looked at by her, she will not touch Miko the way Miko wanted to be held by her, she will not like Miko the way Miko wanted to be liked by her, and she will never say the three words Miko wanted to hear the most from her.
Of course, Miko knew. She might be pon, but she's not oblivious. She knew that she has a crush on Suisei. But she also knew Suisei would never, ever, reciprocate her feelings, and there's nothing she can do about that. Suisei was just this bright, shining star in the night sky, an out-of-reach star that Miko could only observe and admire from her position.
So that's why Miko did not say anything. She did not want to. She was content with their relationship being like this. As long as she can stay by Suisei's side, it doesn't matter. Even when she did wonder about the nature of their relationship to the point of losing her sleep like the situation she's currently in, she did not have the guts to actually do something about it. Not when the consequence of losing her… business relationship? friendship? business friendship? with Suisei was still there.
So she sighed, felt so restless and frustrated when she was literally here, alone together, in the same tent on a camping trip with Suisei on Christmas, lying right beside the other, but she couldn’t even dare to turn around and look at Suisei's beautiful sleeping face. Will she ever be able to get over this stupid crush?
Still, Suisei's sleeping face is something else alright, and she truly wanted to spend this whole night admiring it. If only there wasn't a chance Suisei could suddenly open her eyes to catch her creepy act red-handed. While this Christmas camping trip was as fun as Miko had imagined it to be, she certainly had not taken into account the effect of “sleeping alone together in the same tent with the perfect elegant idol Hoshimachi Suisei who also happens to be my business partner” would have on her.
But it would be a huge waste if she passes this opportunity to appreciate God's work of art that is called Hoshimachi Suisei, would it not? All Miko had to do was pretend to turn while sleeping and secretly check on Hoshimachi to see whether she was asleep or not (which she only assumed because she did not dare to turn around to face the blue-haired girl even once after they bade each other good night). Then, if Hoshimachi is sleeping soundly, nyehehehehe, Miko could admire the exquisite features on the other's face the whole night. Gosh, Miko sounded so creepy right now but she has always been kind of an ojitan openly so it's fine right?
With that (perfecto elito tensai) plan in her mind and a doki doki heart in her chest, Sakura Miko took a deep breath and prepared herself to roll over. And started to turn.
One,
Two,
Three,
And… rolled.
The other side of the mats was empty as the number of brain cells remained in her head.
What!?
H- how!?
Hoshimachi!? Where did she go??
Miko was so shocked to find that Suisei was not sleeping beside her that her eyes almost bawled out while her mouth turned into an A shape. Miko was so, so deep in thoughts, she didn't realise Suisei was not there in the first place.
"Suichan!?" Miko sat up immediately, calling as if there was someone to answer her.
Tossed her blanket off, the elite shrine maiden slowly crawled out of the tent. But in her haste to find her beloved business partner, Miko forgot to grab her coat and scarf so she was taken aback by the biting cold outside. Though she could go back to grab them, she didn't want to because she had found who she was looking for. There she was, sitting by the campfire wearing a thick layer of armour to fight against the unforgiving cold. Suisei hadn't noticed Miko yet, too focused on the smartphone in her hands. This girl… perhaps… she's playing gacha again!?
"Oi! Hoshimachi! What are you doing in the middle of the night? It's freezing out here…"
"Eh!? A-" It seemed like Miko startled the other girl because Suisei almost, almost, dropped her phone. "Mikochi!? I thought you were sleeping?"
"Pffff-" Miko giggled, finding the stupid dumfounded face of Suisei pretty funny (and a little adorable too, but she'd never admitted it aloud).
That giggle of Miko earned her a glare from Suisei though.
"Well I was indeed sleeping but when I woke up in the middle of the night you weren't there so I got a little worried and went out to check on you."
"Ah… Sorry. I was just… playing gacha. A new banner came out last night and I heard that 2 AM is a good time for pulling gacha so I did."
"But you failed to get the card you wanted, right?"
"H- How could you know…?"
"Heh." Miko smirked. "I know you more than you think, Hoshimachi. Your luck always managed to fail you."
"Shut up or I'll have to make you." Suisei glared at Miko, eyes sharp like daggers.
Then make me. Make me shut the fuck up with that delicious lips of yours. (Wow Sakura Miko, you're playing too much eroge already) Suisei probably meant to make her shut up with that shiny golden axe of hers, but Miko couldn't stop thinking of the scene where Suisei would pin the not-so-innocent shrine maiden down and put her lips on Miko until the shrine maiden shut up. Miko thought, lucky for her she didn't think it out loud, but now her face was red like a tomato without her acknowledgement.
"Eh? Mikochi? You okay there?" Suisei was confused. Miko was fine and was just teasing her five seconds ago, but now she's all silent. Not to mention her face was beet red. Did Suisei say something wrong? Suisei tilted her head and moved a little closer to look at Miko's face better because Miko somehow decided that the disgusting bugs on the ground were more interesting than her face, apparently.
She was so close to Miko now though. And her looking like an adorable confused puppy also did not help to stop the heat from creeping up the poor shrine maiden's face. Miko would never admit it to anyone, but when she looked up from the ground, Suisei was looking so kissable right now and Miko wanted to grab her, to pull her in for a kiss, and to smooch her passionately. But it didn’t simply stop at those physical contacts that the shrine maiden wanted. She also wanted to hug the blue-haired girl, to cuddle, to laugh, to sing, to spend time with her even without doing anything significant. As long as it was her.
And so it dawned on her. That Sakura Miko was not content with the current state of miComet's relationship at all. She wanted more. She had always longed for the day Suisei would confess to her because Miko was a fucking coward who didn't have the guts to take the initial step herself. It was not a crush that Miko was feeling, but it was love . She thought she was content with the small gestures they shared and the subtle looks they exchanged because she was so scared. However, Miko didn't dare to take the step forward, didn't mean she would reject Suisei if the girl was to confess! There's a clear difference okay? If Suichan said she wants to be a prince who comes swept the princess up her feet, she better keeps her w-
"Oi. Mikochi. The hell you're doing?"
"A-" Shit. Miko blushed even harder than before. She spaced out in front of Suisei. "Nye… Miko uh…"
"You should go back to sleep if you're that sleepy…"
And then Suisei lifted her eyes to meet Miko.
It was that look again. The look that Miko could never decode its meaning, how hard she tried. Miko just knew that there was something Suisei wanted to say, and she also knew that the blue-haired girl pondered on whether to say it or not, then eventually decided not to. Miko wasn’t sure what could be the thing that Suisei kept hesitating to tell her, because normally the other girl wasn’t like this. Maybe… if Miko pushes her a little bit… then Suisei will have enough courage to say whatever she wants to say? Miko thought to herself.
“I would… if not for Suichan looking like she's wanting to tell me something." Miko threw the bait. "I can stay up all night to do random quizzes online, of course, I can stay a little more to hear what you wanted to say."
"..."
Will she take the bait?
"Eh… What about Mikochi then? You also look like you have something to tell me."
"Nye!? Wha- Oi don't deflect it to me!" Miko pouted.
"Hmmm? Well, how about we both tell each other what we've been reluctant to say?"
"Tch… fine. You first-"
"And we can use jankenpon to decide who will go first. Unless you don't think you can win against me."
This girl… She was obviously baiting Miko. She thought Miko wouldn't be able to win if it's jankenpon? Was she aware that she wasn't the famous Tsunomaki Watame, Miko's sworn enemy? Wasn't she underestimating Miko too much? Suisei would have to regret this decision of hers, Miko thought.
"You're on Hoshimachi. As you wish. Don't think YOU can win this easily."
"Saisho wa guu! Janken PON!!"
She… she… she won. Easily. Indeed.
Miko kept looking up and down between their hands showing the shocking result and Suisei's face brimming with a bright smile.
Yep. That was a bait. And Miko had taken the bait.
"You raised the flag yourself Mikochi~"
"Shut up."
"I will. If Mikochi tells me what's been inside her head lately."
"Miko… I… don't know where to start." The shrine maiden shrunk, visibly. She hugged her knees and turned into a ball next to Suisei. The latter lifted one side of the blanket on her shoulder and draped it on Miko.
"You can tell me anything Mikochi." Suisei said, more like a whisper to Miko' ears since they were next to each other.
Miko took a deep breath. If she wants Suisei to spill the beans, she’ll have to do it first, right? So let's get this over with.
"Uhm… I… When I look at you, I feel… I feel like you're out of my reach. N- not like I want to keep you for myself or anything! It's just… I do want to stay by your side forever, but I feel like all I’ve been doing up to now was just catching up behind you, a Hoshimachi who keeps sprinting ahead at an inhuman speed… nye.” The shrine maiden wriggled a bit in her spot. It was unbelievably nerve-racking and embarrassing for her to say this. She also kept herself from looking directly into the blue-haired girl's eyes because she knew doing that would stop her from going on.
Suisei didn't say anything. She seemed to understand that Miko had more to say, and she was being patient because she knew how hard it was for Miko to convey these feelings.
"Sui-chan is amazing. You have a beautiful voice, you look gorgeous and fashionable, you can talk to people easily, you made so many connections outside of Hololive…" Miko looked up at the night sky to observe the stars above. She wanted to reach out her hand, to grab for it. But she didn't. There was no point in doing it. "I'm not envious of you, Sui-chan. But rather than that, I want to stay by your side, to feel… worthy for you…"
Those words spilt out before she could stop herself. Goddamn it Miko's heart was hammering so freaking hard right now. What was she doing!? She didn't plan to confess or anything so why was she saying these words? There was no way she could back down now. Why was she doing this to herself? Should she go all the way for it?
"There is always this warm and cosy feeling when I'm with you." Miko took another deep breath to calm her poor heart. If she didn't make it seem to be a big problem, Sui-chan wouldn't notice her gay feelings, so she should act normal! "I really like… um… I like… I like being with you!"
Holy faq she did it asdbsjhskkg-
“Pfffff-” Suisei tried to stop herself from giggling. Tried.
“Oi.” Miko looked at her with sharp eyes like an angry cat. Her face couldn’t be redder than its current state. Suisei laughed at her and she felt tricked, backstabbed, bamboozled. “The hell you’re laughing at you bastard?”
“Ahaha- Sorry- haha- I was actually- ahahah laughing at myself, and the situation itself. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel embarrassed.” Suisei poked Miko’s cheek with her gloved finger. She handed Miko a cup of hot tea as a reward. It seemed like she was boiling one on their camping stove while Miko was talking.
Miko was about to say something, to comment on that, but when she moved her eyes down to look at Suisei, the latter was… smiling. Like, it wasn't like she was having her usual shit-eating grin when she was making fun of Miko. But Miko can see that Suisei was… genuinely happy, more than ever. Were Miko's eyes doing a trick on her or were Suisei's cheeks also flushed pink!? And Miko was so taken aback that she forgot what she was about to say.
"Mikochi would be surprised if I said this, but… I actually feel the same." Suisei stopped. Seemed like she was choosing her words carefully. "I was laughing because, for a long time, I was also wondering if there's one day where you'd leave me behind as well. Sounds silly, isn't it?... But somehow these kinds of thoughts kept invading my head."
Suisei stopped again, but this time it seemed like she was wrestling with the messy feelings inside her instead of just simply choosing the words like last time.
"While everything Mikochi said about me might be true. I also think you are underestimating yourself a lot. I can indeed talk to people easily and form new relationships quickly, but it was hard for me to take those established relationships to the next level. Meanwhile, you’re close friends with many Holomems like Pekora, Marine, Korone and so on, so it’s not a surprise that everyone wants to be your close friends because you are a kind-hearted, caring and thoughtful girl. Suichan, too, was saved by your unmatched kindness.”
Dear God… Was Suisei really praising Miko to the sky just now? This rare honest, tender and soft-spoken Hoshimachi was no good for the poor shrine maiden’s heart. Despite the cold wind outside that had nearly made Miko freeze a few moments ago, the pink-haired girl felt all warm and fuzzy now. Suisei took a sip of the tea in her hands, she wasn’t aware of how fluttery she had made Miko’s heart become. And Miko had a sudden, random thought that if those hands weren’t occupied by the teacup, she would love to hold them with hers.
“You are good at organising, being entertaining and making people smile too. When I was first paired with you and we had some lessons together, I had felt a kind of happiness I'd never felt before. Even if it was just working, it was never laughless with you beside. My mouth actually hurt from laughing too much when I was with you a few times before haha. I guess that’s why there are so many people who like being around you so much. And I guess that’s also why I felt a little, just a little silly insecure, that someday,... someone else might become the centre of your attention, and you might not look my way anymore…” When Suisei turned her head to look directly at Miko, she was having this gentle look on her face that made Miko's heart want to melt immediately. "Despite how many times I tried to deny it, it's hard NOT to like you, Mikochi."
"Hoshimachiiii…" Miko's eyes were definitely teary right now. She was speechless. The shrine maiden did not expect to receive the praise that went through the roof like this. “Does… does that mean... mean you l- like Miko!?”
Suisei scoffed and rolled her eyes, putting her empty teacup down. “Stupid. I said so just 5 secs ago didn’t I?”
And then her vision suddenly filled with a pink ball who leapt forward like a cat to hug her by the neck, except this pink cat weighing more than 40kg so both of them got knocked out of their camping chairs.
"SUICHANNNN~~~~ I LOVE YOU TOO UEGHHHHHHHHHH" Miko was ugly sobbing while rubbing her face into Suisei's (lack of padding) chest, and Suisei couldn't stop laughing at this dumb ass baby who cried over nothing. She finally confessed, and it was nothing like the confession scene in those romance mangas she read before. Maybe it was the fact that they're business partners that made it different.
"Wait- Y- You mean "like" in a romantic way r- right…? I didn't misunderstand it right…? Oh shit I'm sorry if I-"
"Calm down you dumb baby hahaha." Suisei gently patted Miko's hair and the shrine maiden took a deep breath, full of the blue-haired girl's scent mixed with the earthy scent of wet grass. It was weirdly calming and pleasant to the point she wanted to fall asleep right on the spot if not for the hard cold ground below them. "Eh… You really had no idea I've been liking you that way for a long time huh…"
"Nye? For a long time !? What do you mean by that???" Miko jolted up immediately.
Suisei laughed dryly. "Yeah… From around… one of our dance lessons for VILLS, I realised how much I like being with you and wanted to get closer."
"THAT LONG AGO!?" Miko's eyes also bugged out after hearing that.
"Un! Hahaha. Un. I mean at first, I also thought I just wanted to get closer to you because I wanted to be your friend. But… eh… after some time I realised there was something different about you."
"What stopped you then?"
"Stopped me from what?"
"Confess. It's not like the Sui-chan I know to sit around and wait~" Miko pouted.
"Oi oi. Do you know how hard I had to try for us to get to this point you bastard? Don't you remember how awkward we were in the beginning?" Suisei pinched Miko's cheeks.
"Uuuuuu sowwy pwease forwive me Sui-chwan~~"
"Annnd because I didn't feel like I was ready either."
"Oh…"
"A relationship takes a lot of time and commitment, it's a lot of responsibilities and I don't know if I can fulfil all of them. Not to mention Mikochi is a baby who gets lonely easily so I didn't think I could meet your expectations~" Suisei said it in a singsong tone while poking the shrine maiden's cheek, but Miko knew she was no less serious.
"Then why did you decide to tell me now?"
"Because, I didn't think Mikochi also had her own worries and insecurities, and I didn't want you to think of me as someone… who's high up there? kind of. I don't like it when you downplay yourself like that."
"Th- thank you… As I thought, Sui-chan is such a kind and gentle person, nye…" Miko's fingers mindlessly twirled around a few blue locks. "You don't have to worry about me. Miko is a grown-up adult! I can take care of myself AND I WILL also take good care of you to the point that you can't even live without me~~~" Miko puffed out her chest like a proud kid.
"Uh-huh. Mikochi is such a good caretaker that every time she comes to my house she’d tell me to do this and do that for her while sitting around on my sofa, then she’d eat the food I cook for her and take all the leftovers home.” Suisei smirked.
“...” Miko’s face scrunched, she looked like an angry kitten now. “I will remember this Hoshimachi, and I will have my revenge, sooner or later.”
Suisei grabbed Miko’s cheeks with both of her hands and caressed them like she was playing with a real cat. Miko was just so adorable looking pouty like that so it was hard for the comet to resist that urge. “Well, then, I, Hoshimachi Suisei, hereby declare that starting from tomorrow, Sakura Miko will become my official curry provider. I want my curry at 12 AM every day, with no vegetables of course.”
“Eh? Are you gonna take away the role your sister has sacrificed her whole life to do and give it to me? Awww how sweet of you Sui-chan~”
“Don’t worry she can finally use that free time to help me with my work like learning how to make a usable thumbnail instead.”
"Oh nyo~ She's gonna open a new thumbnail making shop, there's no way I can compete with her~~"
And then they burst into laughter together.
"Hahahahahahahah"
"...hahahahah- I can't- hahahah-"
"Man- ahahahaha- she's gonna kill us if she- hahaha- find out we're talking shits about her haha"
"Haha no, she'll have to get over my dead body first."
Both of them, now lying on the soft, thick layers of grass, hugging their tummies and laughing carelessly. Miko loved it. She loved those times when it was just the two of them doing absolutely nothing, yet always felt so fun, so satisfying, so endearing. She had always felt like she could stay like this with Suisei forever, and now it was crystal clear to her that Suisei also felt the same, Miko felt like she had the whole world secured in her hands. It might have sounded absurd to the both of them until a few minutes ago, but when their eyes touched right now, they could see it, and feel it. Layers of doubt had been peeled off, and laid behind were two people, naked with their feelings of affection for each other. For the first time in their relationship, Miko and Suisei could look at each other and feel the warmth of their love without any filters. Their mouths subconsciously formed a tender smile. It was true, Sakura Miko realised once again that, while words can convey her feelings to the extent of their ability, sometimes words are not needed, for their feelings were already revealed through the eyes.
"Ne~ ne~ Sui-chan~~~"
"Hmmm?"
"How do you think she'd react to this? I mean Anemachi."
"Eh? Uhhhh. I think it's best to just keep this a secret between us. Anemachi has been bugging the hell out of me to confess first, if she knows what happened today she's gonna be even more annoying and I don't wanna deal with it."
"Damn you're right. Fuutan and Polpol too. We should keep this from them."
"Mmhmm."
"Nye."
"Nye."
Suisei slowly sat up and towered over Miko who was still lying on the ground.
"Ne. Mikochi."
"Nye?"
“I was wondering… What were you thinking of when I told you to "Shut up or I'll have to make you"? Your face seems to be a little… red~?”
“Eh!? E-…………………….. Uh- I- Uh………… I was uh…… Nothing!”
“Hmmmmm? Were you perhaps thinking of something… lewd?” Suisei climbed onto Miko, the shrine maiden now sandwiched between the taller girl’s long legs. She had never felt so small before, this is bad, she could get turned on by this. Again.
“N- No?... I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular… nye…”
Suisei’s hands were on Miko’s sides, she was towering over the smaller girl now. And Miko’s face was red as a tomato again.
“Really?” Suisei asked in her low, husky voice.
“N- nye…”
Then she stooped down to place a gentle kiss on Miko’s nose.
“!!!!!!!!”
And Miko felt like her soul had left her body.
On that day, the shrine maiden of the Shike shrine finally had her wish granted by a shining shooting star.
The end.