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Ben is a lot of things, and he’d like to think that one of them is observant. He wants to be—he is a journalist, after all! He pays attention to things.
He walks into the living room with a brand new carton of Goldfish, opening it as he walks. “Hey, guys,” he says cheerily, flopping onto the chair next to the couch. “What are we watching?”
“Catching Jack up on Criminal Minds,” Sammy replies easily. He shrugs a little, and Jack immediately moves his arm from where he has it around his shoulders. Neither of them even seem to notice. Ben notices, but he doesn’t really pay it much mind.
“Honestly,” Ben says, mouth full, “I never got into it that much. Watched the first few seasons, but I don’t know.”
Jack says, “What, more into the supernatural?” And Ben smiles and nods, because yeah, that’s true. “I can’t believe I’ve missed, like, four seasons.” He gestured at the screen. “I didn’t think they were gonna continue the Aubrey Plaza storyline, but I kinda like it.” He shrugged.
“You should watch it with us sometime,” Sammy says. “We’re probably going to rewatch once we get caught up.”
“Eh.” Ben slouches back into the chair, propping his feet up on the coffee table. “I’ll just watch some with you now, if that’s alright? Emily isn’t coming over until later, and she adamantly refuses to let me try and help at the library again.”
Jack raises an eyebrow. “Again? What happened last time?”
“Nothing that was my fault.”
“Would Emily say that?” Sammy asks, giving him a Look. Jack starts to laugh quietly.
“Yes,” Ben says firmly, “because it wasn’t my fault, Sammy.”
“I’m asking her later,” Sammy replies.
Ben flips him off. Jack laughs louder, and Sammy rolls his eyes at Ben’s antics. “Whatever,” Ben says, and turns his attention to the TV, trying to make sense of whatever the FBI agents are rambling about.
Emily walks into the kitchen, socked feet padding on the tile floor. In the kitchen, Jack and Sammy are already awake. Sammy is sitting at the counter, typing something on his computer, while Jack stands behind him, chest pressed against Sammy’s back, arms wrapped around Sammy’s neck, head hooked over his shoulder.
It’s sweet. Emily is so happy for them. “Morning,” she says softly, and Jack immediately looks up and smiles at her, stepping away from Sammy to go to the cupboard.
“Here,” Jack says, already handing her Emily’s designated mug. “I know you always have tea in the morning.”
Emily smiles. “Thanks,” she replies, taking the mug from his hands. It’s white with a pink font reading ‘I LIKE BIG BOOKS AND I CANNOT LIE’ on the front. Ben bought it for her years ago, and she’s managed to not break it. Now she just keeps it at their apartment, because more often than not, she ends up staying the night.
Sammy looks up from the computer. “That Taylor Swift album came out in 2019, Jack.” He pushes his glasses up on his nose.
Emily laughs, and puts the water on to boil. “That’s what you’re discussing at seven in the morning?”
Jack acts offended. “It’s Taylor, Emily.”
“Yeah, Emily. It’s Taylor, for God’s sake,” Sammy scoffs, but he’s smiling at her.
Emily throws her hands up in surrender. “I wasn’t arguing with that. Taylor Swift is great! It’s just funny, is all. Didn’t know you were a ‘Swiftie,’ Sammy.”
“Oh, Sammy isn’t a fan at all,” Jack replies, as he slides onto a stool beside Sammy, a healthy distance between them. “He’s just a great fiancé. Aren’t you, Sammy?” He grinned.
Sammy rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling fondly. “Jack’s just trying to catch up on all the albums he missed,” he explains. “Reputation, Lover, Folklore.”
“Of course,” Emily says. “Certainly the most important things to get caught up on, yeah?”
“Glad your priorities are in order, Emily,” Jack agrees. Emily laughs, and the kettle whistles.
“I really liked her new albums,” Emily says. “They were lovely. I can’t believe you even missed Reputation. That feels like it came out ages ago, but I guess it only has been a few years.”
“Which album is your favorite?” Jack asks. Emily thinks about it as she pours the hot water into her mug. “Before everything, I remember enjoying 1989 the most. Not that anyone knew about that, because I didn’t really broadcast that I liked Taylor Swift, but.”
“Of course, that makes sense. I think Lover might be my favorite, or maybe Folklore. I haven’t had a ton of time to listen to Folklore on repeat yet but they're both wonderful.”
“What about you, Sammy?” Jack asks with a grin, elbowing him. “Got a favorite?”
Sammy rolls his eyes. “You know I don’t care about her enough to have a favorite.”
“C’mon, Sammy,” Emily says. “I heard you listening to some while we were looking for Jack this past year.”
“That was Ben.”
“Oh, admit it,” Emily chides, and Jack laughs.
“Fine,” Sammy says. “I like Red.”
Emily smiles. “A good choice,” she says.
“We’ll make a Swiftie of you yet, Sam,” Jack agrees.
“And the design for the kids section was so cute,” Emily continues, and Ben nods along, not really trying to add anything. “I loved the color schemes. Do you think we could get some wallpaper like that? I think it would be a lot more welcoming than the dark green, but I don’t know. I’ll go shopping tomorrow, maybe? Ooh, or paint might be better, that way we don’t have to keep using wallpaper.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Ben agrees. He slides his key into the lock of their apartment, his other hand still in Emily’s. “Well, this was a nice date night, don’t you agree?”
Emily laughs, and her cheeks are flushed from walking home and talking and smiling. Ben loves her so much. “I do agree,” she says. “I love any date with you, Benny. You know that.”
“Well, I love you,” he says cheerfully. “So it’s a win-win, I guess.” He opens the door, and immediately hears music playing. He thinks it might be Fleetwood Mac.
Emily looks at him, and Ben shrugs. Emily mimes zipping her lips shut, and Ben nods in agreement. They walk inside, and Ben peeks his head around the wall dividing the living room from the kitchen, and he sees… well, quite a scene.
Lily’s sitting at the counter facing away from him, eating raw pasta from a box. The speaker the music’s blasting from is right next to her. And in the actual kitchen, Sammy and Jack are dancing together, smiling. Sammy looks happier than Ben can ever remember seeing him.
Emily looks around the corner as well, and then looks at Ben with a face that says look at them!, and Ben replies with a face that says we shouldn’t interrupt, but before they can leave again Jack spots them and drops his hands from Sammy’s almost immediately.
“Oh, hey guys!” he says, and he doesn’t sound any less happy, but Ben sees the way he and Sammy instinctively move away from each other. “We’re almost done making the pasta sauce. As long as Lily didn’t eat all the noodles already, dinner should be ready in about fifteen minutes.”
“Fuck off,” Lily says, crunching on the uncooked spaghetti.
Ben laughs, “You guys having a dance party, or something?”
Sammy shrugs, turning his attention to the pot of sauce on the stove. “Something like that, I guess. Lily was too busy being obnoxious to join in.”
She mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like a slur.
Jack makes a face. “Lily,” he scolds quietly, and she holds her hands up in surrender. “Play nice.”
“I will if he does,” she replies sweetly. “And I have to fulfill my daily quota.”
Ben, more than a little confused, says, “Your quota of being homophobic to Sammy?”
“Yeah,” Lily replies.
“This house is a fucking nightmare,” Sammy mumbles, stirring the pasta sauce.
This time, Ben’s snack is a few fruit roll ups.
“Hey, guys- oh, shit, are you guys asleep?” Ben starts to backtrack out of the room after he sees them. “Wait, you wouldn’t reply if you’re asleep. I’m just gonna go-”
Sammy sits up from where he was curled up with Jack on the couch, scooting to one end while Jack scrambles to the other. “No, you’re fine,” Sammy says, and his voice is even but his face is flushed. “We were just, you know. Watching a show.” He looks at the TV as if to make sure. “Yeah, the Office.”
Ben stares at them for a second. “Sammy,” he says, “Jack, you guys know you can, like. Do what you want. Right?”
“...Yeah?” Jack says slowly.
“It’s just that lately, every time I walk into a room and you guys are doing anything remotely couple-y, you immediately stop.” Ben looks at both of them, who almost look as confused as he does. “You don’t have to worry, you know that, right? You can be as gross as you want. God knows me and Emily are.” He snorts.
Sammy looks at Jack, and they have some sort of silent conversation, probably, because Sammy’s shoulders slump and he looks back at Ben. “Look,” he says, “it’s- it’s not anything you’ve done, or whatever,” he says, gesturing a hand like it’ll help him explain. “And it’s not about being gross, not really.”
“It’s more of trying to be a couple in public, I think,” Jack continues. “We haven’t really done that before. I think it’s like, habit.”
Oh. Oh. Ben nods, slowly. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I don’t want to, I don’t know, push you to be more open-”
“Not at all,” Sammy cuts him off quickly. “None of that! You and Emily are the best.”
“I notice you’re leaving out Lily,” Jack comments.
“Yeah, well, is she the best? Is she really?”
“I just want you guys to know that we all support you, and all that, yeah?” Ben says, and Sammy and Jack look back at him. “I know you’re- yeah, you’re trying to break a habit, I guess. But we’re here to help. Even Lily, Sammy.”
Sammy cracks a smile at that, and looks at Jack before consciously scooting back over towards him until their shoulders are touching. They don’t look as comfortable as they did a few moments ago, but it’s a start.
And Ben decides that enough is enough, so he flops onto the couch next to them, sitting as close to Sammy as he can before Sammy gives in and throws an arm around him.
Ben offers Jack a fruit roll up, and he takes it.
Lily knows Jack and Sammy. Of course, she’s at a disadvantage, because she missed a few years of their life together, but she knows them.
Also, she’s not an idiot. Also, she’s a lesbian. She knows what it’s like. She’s always been a little easier on herself than the two of them, though, because Lily has always had a no-fucks-given attitude.
Jack and Sammy have spent so long hiding things that they can’t seem to break the habit. She remembers when Jack found out that everyone in King Falls knew and freaked the fuck out about it. Even though it was fine, and no one—well, excluding Cynthia Higgenbaum—minded, it still wasn’t comfortable for him.
She gets it. Of course she does. She’s known the motherfucker since the womb, and she’s known Sammy since he was eighteen and trying not to kill himself all the way through college.
So, she’s giving them a bit more time to adjust than Ben is. Ben doesn’t know any better. Lily does, though.
The morning after Ben asks them about it, Lily barges into his room and sits herself on the floor by his dresser. Emily wakes up right away, and waves at her. Lily winks back. Emily laughs quietly.
When it’s clear that Ben isn’t waking up, Emily rolls over and nudges him. “Lily’s here,” she hears her whisper, and he makes a very undignified noise that Lily allows herself to laugh out loud at. He sits up.
“Lily?” he says blearily, and reaches over to grab his glasses from his bedside table. “What d’ya want? It’s like five in the morning.”
“It’s actually eight,” she says. “C’mon Benny Boy, you know me well enough to know that I don’t wake up before eight.”
“I’m going to go make breakfast,” Emily says sweetly. “Come join me soon?”
“Of course, Miss Potter,” Lily says, and Ben groans and flops back in bed. Emily laughs and walks out of the room.
“So, you talked to Jack and Sammy about their issues, right?” Lily asks bluntly. Ben sits up again.
“Uh, yeah?” he says. “I mean. It wasn’t like I was confronting them. I just noticed it a lot.”
Lily nods. “Well, leave them alone. They’re not going to very suddenly get better after you talk to them.”
“I know it’s harder than that,” Ben says, almost offended. “Believe me. I’m not an idiot. I care about Sammy and Jack. I’m not going to try and make them comfortable about it before they’re ready. Also, I don’t completely get it, but I get it a little bit. I’m trans. I know what it’s like to pretend to be someone you’re not.”
“Okay, okay,” Lily says, putting her hands up. “I just wanted to let you know to not expect much. Sammy is- well, you know that he’s about as repressed as they come, and Jack seems like he’s better but he really isn’t. Be patient with them.”
Ben freezes. “Lily,” he says, “are you expressing kindness towards Sammy Stevens?”
“No!” she says instinctively. “Of course not. I would never.”
But Ben’s smiling now, so Lily knows she’s really in for it. “Sure,” he says. “Okay. Well, if that’s settled, I’m going to go get breakfast, ‘kay?”
“Fine,” Lily says, and he leaves her sitting on the floor in his bedroom. “Shit,” she says to herself, and gets up and leaves the room.
The thing is that Jack is her brother and Sammy is only one legal document away from being her brother, too, and Lily has known them for ages. And she remembers college, when neither of them would communicate with each other like normal functioning people. She remembers being nineteen and hiding shit from them and recording nonsense with her shitty camera.
Maybe Lily cares about Sammy a little. Just a little. Dammit.
She walks into the kitchen slash dining room and Jack and Sammy are already up, unsurprisingly, and Jack’s scrambling eggs while Sammy puts a pot of coffee on. Emily and Ben are sitting at the counter, chatting about God-knows-what.
Lily goes and punches Sammy on the arm. “Jesus!” he says. “What the hell was that for?”
“You’re the worst and I hate you,” she informs him. He rolls his eyes.
“Jack, corral your sister,” he says.
“Be nice, you two,” Jack chides, and Sammy throws his arms out.
“I didn’t do anything!” he protests, but Jack shoots him a look anyway. Lily grins.
It’s one thing for the town to know that Sammy’s gay, and to know that he has a boyfriend—a fiancé—who he’s trying to find. It’s another thing for the town to meet said fiancé and see them in public together.
Sammy’s working on it. Ben called them out, and he’s working on it.
One morning, he and Jack go to the store together because Sammy knows that Ben can’t grocery shop for shit. Jack pushes the cart while Sammy consults the list Emily made, adding things he knows he’ll need for various meals throughout the week. Jack hums along to the music playing.
It’s early, so not many people are in the store, but every now and then Sammy sees someone he recognizes and waves hello, wishes them a good morning. They see Jack and say, “Oh, is this Jack?” and Jack says “Yes, I’m Jack, a pleasure to meet you.” And then their day carries on.
“Being a celebrity is exhausting,” Jack says, and pretends to wipe sweat off his forehead.
Sammy bumps his shoulder into Jack’s. “I’m glad you’re okay with it,” he says.
“I’m glad I’m back,” Jack replies. “I’ll put up with being a celebrity if it means we’re together again.”
“Sap,” Sammy teases, and Jack rolls his eyes. “At least we’re past you giving declarations of love on the air.”
“It was our anniversary and you were sad!” Jack protests, and Sammy laughs.
“We’ll get used to it,” Sammy says. “It’ll just take time.”
“Yeah,” Jack agrees. “And we have all the time in the world.”
All the time in the world. What an idea.
Sammy smiles, and takes Jack’s hand. It’s the bravest thing he can remember doing.