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Why hasn’t San Lang removed the Command Talisman? Xie Lian wonders, so anxious his innards are smoking.
Hua Cheng reaches out and unties his belt.
San Lang??? Xie Lian calls out mentally, his eyes widening. He’s not scared of Hua Cheng, not one bit - he knows his friend won’t hurt him - but he’s not sure what’s happening.
Hua Cheng is careful, doing his best not to touch Xie Lian’s body even while removing his outer robes, then his inner ones. It takes some time before Xie Lian’s chest is exposed to the air.
A wraith butterfly perches on his shoulder, and a warm, tingling feeling starts to spread from where it’s landed, and Xie Lian realizes - he’s frostbitten. Hua Cheng is healing him.
He’s almost disappointed - and then he shoves that feeling down, refusing to acknowledge or examine it.
Hua Cheng takes his shoes off, next, with the same level of care, and soon the frostbite on his shoulders and hands and feet is fully healed.
Xie Lian waits for Hua Cheng to replace his clothes.
He doesn’t. Instead, his gaze drops to Xie Lian’s chest, and he looks like he’s wrestling with himself.
“I’m sorry, gege,” Hua Cheng says, and reaches out. Cold fingers brush against skin.
Memories of a dark cave, fragmented and old, rush into Xie Lian’s mind. The trembling and heated hands of a boy, fumbling over sensitive skin…
Hua Cheng’s fingers brush over a nipple, and Xie Lian cries out internally. San Lang, what are you doing?
“Don’t worry, gege,” Hua Cheng says, something odd in his voice. “I just want to make you feel good. One time, and then you can do whatever you want to me.”
Cold realization creeps up Xie Lian’s spine. San Lang thinks I’ll reject him, if he gives me the chance. At the same time, pleasure shoots through him from the sensitive nub trapped between Hua Cheng’s fingers.
So he’s not going to give me the chance.
“Don’t fight it,” Hua Cheng tells him. “Just let it happen.”
Xie Lian has only ever experienced this feeling once before, in that horrid, dark cave - something to fight against, to deny with everything at his disposal. Every one of his instincts, carefully trained for eight centuries, is screaming at him not to give in.
But he trusts Hua Cheng.
He lets the pleasure rush through him.
“You can hate me all you want,” Hua Cheng says. He pulls at the nipple he’s holding, and Xie Lian feels intensely grateful for the talisman keeping him from crying out. “I’ll let you disperse me, when I’m done. But I never got a dying wish, when I was alive.”
Xie Lian wants to cry. San Lang, I would never hate you! I don’t want to disperse you. His heart aches for the lonely child dying unloved, for the lonely dead man in front of him who believes that he is unloved.
Hua Cheng leans close. “If your dream is to save the common people,” he says, his breath ghosting over Xie Lian’s face, “then my dream is only you.”
He takes Xie Lian’s lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue brushes against Xie Lian’s, sending sparks of fire racing down his spine, and desperately, Xie Lian wishes he could kiss back.
Before long, Hua Cheng pulls back from his unresponsive mouth, trailing kisses down his jaw, his neck, over his collarbone. He nips at Xie Lian’s skin, then bites down, and sharp pain flares - but it feels good, too. Pleasure mixes with slight discomfort, inseparable from one another.
Hua Cheng pulls back. “I’m sorry, gege,” he whispers. “It’ll fade quickly, but for now, you’re marked as mine.”
Something warm swirls deep in Xie Lian’s gut. Marked as his. He thrills at the thought, and when Hua Cheng’s mouth returns to his skin, the sting of pain is barely noticeable over the heady feeling of Hua Cheng marking him.
Far too soon, Hua Cheng stops - perhaps there isn’t any more room, with all the bites he’s scattered over Xie Lian’s collarbone and breasts. Instead, his mouth fits itself over one nipple, and sucks.
Xie Lian would shout, if he could.
Hua Cheng continues, licking and sucking at one nipple, and then the other. Finally, he raises his head, and stays still for a long time.
He’s just out of Xie Lian’s line of sight. Is he okay? Xie Lian wonders, though he knows he’s not. San Lang… let me talk to you. Let me reassure you. I don’t hate you, I promise.
“I’d ask you to forgive me, gege,” Hua Cheng says, his voice quiet, “but there’s no forgiveness for this.”
Xie Lian’s waistband loosens, and cold fingers hook into it.
I would forgive you for anything, Xie Lian swears internally. I would let you do anything to me. San Lang, please, you don’t need the Command Talisman!
Xie Lian’s pants are removed with the same care as before, though Hua Cheng lets his hands brush against skin, now. Cold fingertips trail down the sides of Xie Lian’s thighs, gentle and reassuring.
Xie Lian lies atop the soft bed of hay, body exposed to the cool cave air, and waits for Hua Cheng to touch him.
He doesn’t have to wait long. A hand settles onto his thigh, sliding up to cup his crotch.
“Good, your body is reacting,” Hua Cheng says.
How could it not? Xie Lian wonders. It’s you.
Hua Cheng guides Xie Lian’s legs over his shoulders, and puffs out a breath onto where Xie Lian is wetter than he’s ever been in his life.
His body shivers, an involuntary reaction the talisman can’t suppress.
A careful tongue flattens itself against him. It’s overwhelming, knowing that Hua Cheng’s mouth is on him, and he’s grateful that the talisman keeps him from pulling his friend’s head closer and demanding more. Pleasure flares as Hua Cheng licks up through his folds, and a moan sticks in his throat.
One of the hands on the outside of his thighs moves inward, and the mouth on him lifts.
“I promise I’ll be gentle, gege,” Hua Cheng says, and a finger presses at his entrance.
Xie Lian suddenly wants Hua Cheng inside him more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life. He needs it the way he doesn’t quite need to breathe. The shackle will keep him alive for a century underground, trapped without fresh air, he knows that from experience, but it can’t do anything for the aching emptiness piercing through him.
San Lang, hurry up.
Slowly, Hua Cheng presses his finger in, and it feels like the first bite of food after several consecutive deaths from starvation. A void inside him, one Xie Lian didn’t know was there until seconds ago, starts to fill.
Hua Cheng bends to lick at him. Pleasure shoots through him, and Xie Lian cries out mentally, San Lang!
The finger inside him moves, seeking out a sensitive spot Xie Lian had no idea was there. All he can do is lie there and submit to the feeling.
Over the next few minutes, Hua Cheng’s fingers and tongue coax his body into a state of buzzing expectation. It feels like he’s about to tip over the edge of something new. He doesn’t know what lies before him, but he trusts Hua Cheng to catch him when he falls.
And then he does. His muscles contract, and tingling bliss spills through him. It’s like nothing he’s ever experienced before - and there’s a feeling of loss threaded through it, too.
He realizes, through the haze, that his cultivation has broken.
“Gege,” Hua Cheng says, his voice awed.
It’s okay, Xie Lian decides. He doesn’t mind. If Hua Cheng had asked, he would have gladly made the choice to give up his cultivation to be closer to him. The fact that he didn’t ask doesn’t change anything.
Hua Cheng moves, and the sound of rustling robes reaches Xie Lian’s ears.
“Don’t be too scared,” Hua Cheng says, but there’s no confidence in it. “I’ve made sure it won’t hurt.”
Oh.
Anxiety and excitement clash in Xie Lian’s chest. He’s going to…
“It doesn’t matter if I’m sorry or not,” Hua Cheng says quietly.
Xie Lian’s heart breaks for him. It does matter! It matters that you feel so awful about this! Don’t you know that there’s nothing you can do to make me stop loving you?
“Pretend it’s -” Hua Cheng’s voice breaks.
I don’t want to pretend it’s anyone but you! Xie Lian screams internally.
Hua Cheng moves forward, and something blunt and cold presses up to Xie Lian’s entrance.
“Think about something that comforts you,” Hua Cheng instructs, cupping Xie Lian’s face gently with one big hand, and Xie Lian realizes his body is tense, full of nerves at the thought of what Hua Cheng is about to do.
San Lang, he thinks, focusing on the hand on his cheek and the other on his hip. For him, there is no steadier source of comfort. It’s San Lang doing this.
His body relaxes, and Hua Cheng brushes hair away from his face, murmuring, “Good.”
And he pushes in.
It’s overwhelming, having something so large inside him. There’s no space in his mind for any thoughts other than - San Lang, San Lang, San Lang.
“Gege,” Hua Cheng moans, and a thrill shoots through Xie Lian’s body at how affected he sounds. That’s because of me. The hand on his cheek slides down, cupping a breast, thumbing at a nipple, and it almost distracts him from Hua Cheng pushing further in.
Almost. Hua Cheng’s cock brushes against that sensitive spot he found earlier, and pleasure flares, lighting Xie Lian’s body on fire. He wants more.
“Gege, you feel incredible,” Hua Cheng says, and his face comes into view.
He takes Xie Lian’s mouth in a kiss, and rocks forward, and Xie Lian thinks, This would be perfect, if only… San Lang, please let me tell you it’s okay.
“Gege,” Hua Cheng gasps, resting their foreheads together. He thrusts forward, and their hips meet, and Xie Lian feels full, so full. “I’m not going to let you forget me.”
How would I ever forget you? Xie Lian wonders. Even if you left me. I never would.
“I know it’s - it’s awful,” Hua Cheng continues, “doing this to you, but I know you’ll be a wonderful father. Even to ghost spawn.”
Father? Xie Lian thinks, startled. Ghost spawn? He hadn’t thought of that, but he supposes the seed of a Supreme Ghost King would be as fertile as it gets. The idea is thrilling - Hua Cheng’s child, growing inside him. A baby to lavish love on, to raise with the help of the man he loves.
Hua Cheng starts thrusting harder, leaning back and bracing himself, grabbing Xie Lian’s hip in a firmer hold. Distantly, Xie Lian hopes it leaves a bruise, a reminder that Hua Cheng wants him with an ferocity that leaves marks on his skin.
“Something of me,” Hua Cheng says, sliding his free hand down to Xie Lian’s stomach, “will stay inside you.”
Xie Lian wants that desperately, the intensity of his desire surprising him. He never wants Hua Cheng to leave him.
“Even when I’m gone,” Hua Cheng continues.
No! Xie Lian cries internally. Hua Cheng still thinks he’ll be dissipated after this, doesn’t he? Why do you think I would do that to you?
“Gege, focus on what feels good,” Hua Cheng says, sliding his hand down further until his clever fingers are dancing over Xie Lian’s clit. His thrusts grow faster, more forceful, and Xie Lian succumbs to the pleasure thrumming through him.
It builds, and builds, and overflows. His muscles clench around Hua Cheng’s cock, and then it doesn’t stop, the feeling of tingling fire continuing for much longer than it did the first time.
“Gege,” Hua Cheng gasps, and something cold shoots inside him as spiritual power floods his meridians.
He just came, too, Xie Lian realizes, and his body gives a few last spasms. I’m going to carry San Lang’s baby.
His breaths sound strangely loud, in the silence afterwards. Hua Cheng doesn’t move, and neither can he - until he feels the talisman beginning to fade.
He struggles against it, and his leg jerks, hard. An “ah!” escapes his lips.
Hua Cheng tenses, then, gently, pulls himself out. Xie Lian feels empty at the loss.
“I -” Hua Cheng starts, then seems to give up. Cold lips press themselves to Xie Lian’s knee, and then retreat. Out of the corner of his eye, Xie Lian sees Hua Cheng move away. Fabric rustles, and silver chains jingle as he steps onto the ground.
No! Xie Lian yells mentally. Stay, please.
“You have my ashes,” Hua Cheng says, just out of sight. It’s the tone of a man waiting for execution. Or perhaps torture.
Xie Lian struggles against the talisman - and then he remembers that he has spiritual power, now.
The talisman doesn’t stand a chance.
“San Lang,” Xie Lian gasps, and launches himself at Hua Cheng, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his back.
Hua Cheng stiffens.
Xie Lian takes one arm back to grab the ring around his neck. These are your ashes, aren’t they? he thinks wonderingly. Those bold words about not having regrets, destroyed or not… you really meant it.
You’re safe with me.
He waits, but Hua Cheng stays stiff and unresponsive.
“San Lang,” Xie Lian says, plaintive, and guides him to turn around.
He’s looking at Xie Lian with an unreadable expression. Confusion? Self-hatred?
Xie Lian loops his hands around Hua Cheng’s neck, tugs him down, and kisses him.
Hua Cheng’s mouth is the one that’s unresponsive, this time. He doesn’t resist, but he doesn’t kiss back, either. Is he in shock, maybe? Xie Lian wonders, and just keeps kissing him, clumsily licking into his mouth, using everything he’s learned from their encounters together.
Finally, Hua Cheng gasps out a breath, snakes a a hand around Xie Lian’s waist and another into his hair, and kisses back, hard.
“San Lang,” Xie Lian laughs between kisses, a little teary-eyed. “San Lang, I’ll be honored to carry your baby.”
Hua Cheng jerks back, staring at him with one wild eye.
“I hope they look like you,” Xie Lian tells him softly.
A tear falls from Hua Cheng’s eye, and Xie Lian wipes it from his cheek with a gentle thumb.
He buries his face in Hua Cheng’s shoulder, and wraps his arms around his waist, and when Hua Cheng hugs him back, he relaxes into it.
Maybe… maybe after all this is over, they can do that again, without the talisman. Without Hua Cheng thinking that he’s unloved.
They should make sure he’s pregnant, right? Just in case.
Who knows how many times that’ll take.
Xie Lian nuzzles closer to the man he loves, and feels him relax, just a little.
San Lang, there’s nothing you could do to make me hate you.