Archive of Our Own

Hall of Fire

I stare into the burning flames

like my sorrow’s just begun;

the Hall of Fire is quiet

and my patience is all but gone.

You sit across me, silent;

shining gold, and good, like sun;

I want to break this silence

but I don’t know how it’s done.

Too much time has passed

and too much hurt we’ve shared

for anything to be simple.

To speak, I am too scared.

Tell me, my once- lover,

how far have we two gone?

Are the ages now long passed

indeed, forever bygone?

I’ve loved you fiercely once.

I love you fiercely still.

How do I bridge this chasm

between us that has spilt?

Your eyes, they speak in silence,

yet I do not understand.

How have we come now to this,

My golden-haired friend?

Be it I’m too bitter

by hurts of times before

that my heart breaks whenever

I see you at the door?

To look at you still hurts me,

and for hurt I’m poorly equipped;

For the last time I saw you

was in the grip of a fiery whip.

The mountain pass was fuming

as a demon you had fought

melted the ice and broke the stone

and dragged you into naught.

And my heart broke in pieces

in burning field of white.

A hurt that cut me way too deep,

so now I’m silent in spite.

Stone I wielded around me,

impenetrable and harsh and cold,

for never has anything hurt me more

than seeing your hair of gold

tarnished, and tainted, and blackened

by soot and ashes of grey.

You were gone, my love, my friend,

and all my dreams had burned and waned.

And now you sit before me,

alive, and hale, and well;

Yet I cannot stop the ice-cold hurt

in which my heart still dwells.

Don’t smile at me, I beg you.

Your smile I’ve loved the most.

A dagger to the heart hurts less

than a once-great love’s ghost.

The fire paints pictures upon you

and upon your lovely mien;

I despise it with all I am and have

for when it took you away from me.

The Hall of Fire is silent,

the fire’s crackling all that’s heard.

I beg you, stand up and leave my friend,

leave me without a word.

For if you were to speak to me now,

if I were to hear your voice,

I may forget all that I’ve claimed

and in your embrace I may rejoice.

I cannot hold you, my love,

if I am to lose you again.

Áva care, my dearest, just leave

and let me feign an absence of pain.

You move; I startle, and look

into your eyes of molten jade.

Your hand caresses my cheek.

“Enough of this charade,”

you say, and I cannot look

at you and not fall in love.

I tremble, for I’ve been way too lonely

for a long time, my dearest love.

Your eyes burn through me

and I’m helpless before your gaze.

All I’ve longed for throughout the ages

was a moment in your embrace.

You see me. How do you see me

when I’ve hidden myself away?

“I know you, meldo, I always have,

beyond even my dying day.”

I have to close my eyes then,

for you always shone too bright.

Your lips on mine are a benediction,

a call back into the light.

“I’ll never leave again,” you say.

Your promise is akin to an oath.

“I never wish to be without you,” you say,

and how much I believe you, I loathe.

You hold me tight against you,

as I shake, and sob, and cry.

“Don’t leave me,” I whisper softly,

“For without you I’ll surely die.”

“Never, my love,” you promise.

“You’ll never be alone again.”

You kiss me once more upon teary cheeks,

and I believe you, my love, my friend.

The Hall of Fire is quiet

as you hold me in your arms

and I trust when you tell me

that we’ll come to no more harm.

“I’ve missed you, dearest,” I whisper.

“I’ve fallen completely apart.”

You hold me and sooth the pain.

“Never again, my dearest heart.”

“Never again shall you be lonely,

and never shall I go away.

I’ve loved you beyond the veil of Death;

My love, I’m here to stay.”

It’s all I’ve ever wanted,

all I’ve dreamed of and hoped.

To once again be in the embrace

of my golden-haired Lord.

“I know, my raven-haired beauty.

My sweetest, dearest boy.

I’m never leaving you alone again,

so turn those tears to joy.”

I laugh, for you are silly,

and that’s how I love you best.

Keeping me safe from the oncoming storm

with eyes filled with mirth and jest.

So much pain we’ve endured,

and so much more is to come.

Yet I know that when I hold your hand

all harm can be undone.

“So hold my hand,” you say lovingly.

“Hold it for all that’s worth.

I’ll be here, and I’m not leaving

be it even the end of the world.”

The Hall of Fire is silent.

It’s only you and me.

My heart is finally quiet,

for the future is ours, you see.