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Here’s what he knew. Up the road there was a Dairy Queen, down the road there was a Walmart. There had been a place where you could a pretty cool skateboard, and there was a small chapel where weddings could be held.
And that was it.
He had seen places like this in movies. Places where everything was perfect and fell into place. He had seen them in Christmas movies where the main character grew up on a Christmas tree farm with Santa as a dad or some bullshit like that. But usually the characters in those movies got a choice. He didn’t. This wasn’t him saying he hated it all.
Truthfully , witness protection program was a rewarding thing. He got to spend time with his son in a quaint town in the Midwest. He had done a lot of things on the list he planned for himself.
One: enroll jack into a new school. One where he could be present. Attend meetings, Christmas concerts and conferences. Where he could learn what it meant to be there for his son. Beyond all else, Jack was his main focus. Two: create a home not just a house, but somewhere he could imagine himself and his son forever. Or at least until the program was done. Which could be months, it could be years. He had placed people into this program before. But it was never him on this end of it. Three: figure out who he is without the bau without the hard shell he had carried. He wanted to rediscover himself, without all the baggage, join a book club maybe. Or learn how to rollerblade. Learn how to knit or write the book he had always wanted to get done. Just learn something new now that he had time.
“Jack. Stay safe buddy.” Aaron told his son as he sent him into the school. It had been four months since he arrived, and with it all Jack really had been fitting in well. From his new friends who he played pirates with, to the adventures that came with. Hikes in the mountains in the mornings on Saturdays and ice cream floats on Sunday evenings. It was a trip and something he wished he could have done before.
Now though, he had time. Room he could fill with some new adventure. “Get a girlfriend Aaron.” Jennifer Jareau’s text read on his phone. And he would admit while he had been lonely. He didn’t think a girlfriend was something that would be okay right now. Not at least when he was literally someone else. A new name attached to him. Nobody could know the things he was, and the things he had done. And he wasn’t sure anyone would want to. Which was why he was better off alone.
“Just a coffee.” He spoke at a small diner, at the same time another voice spoke to their waitress. He looked up, his eyes meeting with another pair. Shoulder length brown hair, and a friendly smile. He knew that face.
“You know I always dreamed of seeing a smile on that face.” she laughed as he cracked a small grin. She was leaving to go on maternity leave. A baby and a job weren’t something that could coexist. And he understood. Didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss her though. She was a kind force, someone with impeccable knowledge of when something had to be done. And she calmed the room around them.
A quiet force of nature disguised as a hurricane.
“Oh my god.” She stated. Genuine shock and surprise on her face as she stood.
He didn’t believe in fate. Fate wasn’t real, it was made up for fortune teller booths and hipsters trying to sell dating websites on tv. But at the same time
“She’s here…. That must be something.”
He thought. He pondered as he sat in the booth of a dimly lit diner. Kate Callahan sitting in front of him, sipping water from a plastic cup as he drank his coffee. “It’s been years.” She said, a smile on her face. The years had done good for her. But the thing he noticed above all else was the absence of a wedding band. A silver piece of metal that showed promise and fidelity forever. She and Chris were a sweet couple, and he could never imagine them divorcing. Couldn’t picture it in a million years — had he wished he had someone in his life like Chris had Kate? Of course… but he’d never let his jealousy pin back to that.
He allowed himself to offer a smile, as a way to show that he agreed. “It has been.” Pausing a moment before saying the next thing, What are you doing here?” He asked, but never out of whatever reason came up. He wouldn’t know how to respond.
She took a deep breath. And looked to the floor beneath her. “Between you and I… witness protection program.” She stated, casually shrugging. “I saw some stuff some stuff which sent my small family and I here. Apparently it just seems to be their dumping zone.” She said with a laugh, gesturing to him. And her laugh was like music to his ears. He loved the way her entire frame would move as she did so. He hasn’t seen anything like it since Haley. But now that he had seen it, it brought things back to him.
“How is Jack?”
“He’s good…really good. How are Meg and the baby?”
“Both good.”
“What about Chris.”
She paused and Hotch had a feeling he fucked up. She shrugged lightly “I actually don’t know. We got divorced and he got a job… in London. So like — whatever that is supposed to mean.” She said popping the p’s in the word supposed . Kate had a charm to her, a bright disposition that showed everything would be okay. And throughout all, she always seemed to fix things.
He wished he had an answer. But instead of anything sensible coming out he softly said “I’m sorry, divorce can be hard…” he and Haley had never truly been divorced, simply separated. Nothing else to it. He always thought even if they did get divorced. They’d fall back together. Guess there’s nothing to that though.
“Yeah — it’s okay though. We just didn’t work out. There were a lot of things that needed to be fixed and he didn’t want to work them out. But don’t go profiling me.” She said the last part pointing to him. If he were to profile her, there were a lot of ways to do so. The chipped finger nail polish showed that she lacked some control of different situations, the fidgeting of the finger showed that she had been used to the wedding band. But she said not to profile … so he wouldn’t. At least not for now.
If he had the chance to profile her here’s what he would say. She has the personality traits of someone who grew up too fast, their childlike wonder getting the best of them when they remember the youth they lost. When she lost her older sister a lot had faded away, from the yard sales they’d never shop at together, to the traditions that would never pass on. He would say she was trying her best to make it up to Meg… but at the same time was terrified that maybe it wasn’t enough. But there was a chance that these things were what he was placing onto her from his own life. A man who never got a childhood, due to his parents always fighting. His sister always being out of the house on a rebellious tangent and his brother being small when Aaron left… and maybe that was the reason he was so desperate to cling onto something here.
The anniversary of Haley’s passing came by in a hurry. Jack went on with his day, knowing there was a significance, but not knowing exactly what it was. It was a day in past years Hotch would allow himself to work until he went mad. Sometimes he would sit down and write notes. Dropping them off at his deceased wife’s burial spot. But usually, it was the same thing. He would go to work and find himself unsure of what to do with himself. In recent years he also had learned that he wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell their son about her, about the legacy she had left behind, and whatever else would come up. As he sat on his couch he listened to the rain pour slightly outside. The sky seemed to mimic his mood, dark and a little cloudy.
“Aaron let me in. It’s pouring out here.” he heard a voice croak out from past the door. He ran up, seeing a soaked Kate standing outside of it. “Dude, finally. I’ve been knocking for two minutes,” she said looking up at him.
“Why are you here?” he asked a confused frown on his features.
“You didn’t show up today at the diner, I wanted to check up on you.”
Oh god, today was Wednesday. And he had completely forgotten he was supposed to be meeting Kate. “I can explain,” he said, he had a feeling that even if he said he was fine that she would know him better than that. She didn’t need to be his shrink to understand how he was feeling and to see the lies that he would cover. She looked up at him, as to say “explain.” though she was kind and everything good. Kate Rebecca Callahan wasn’t exactly what you called patient. She tended to just be a little off when it came to these things, “today is the anniversary of Haley’s death.” he looked to the floor. Knowing if he thought any more of it, tears would leave his eyes like people left a New York City Subway.
The look on her face quickly turned to sympathetic as a small frown gained a place on her features. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry…I didn’t know,” she offered.
“You didn’t have a reason to know.” he pushed it off.
“Are you and Jack doing anything to keep her with you today?”
He paused without saying anything for a moment, “Jack and I don’t talk about her.” he admitted. “Whenever I went to tell him. It didn’t seem right.” he took a deep breath, “I think I'm going to just wait until he asks me.”
“Talk to Jack about her.” her voice came out. Strong and like she knew what she was to happen. “When my sister passed it took me years to finally talk about Liz. I wished I had sooner,” she commented, reaching over and holding onto his hand. “My sister and I didn’t see eye to eye for the last few years she was alive. But when Meg was old enough, I realized it was up to us to keep her alive. “What dies doesn’t stay dead,” she said, rubbing small circles into his hand.
What dies doesn’t stay dead…
That was the thing that got him to stand up and knock on Jack’s door. “Let me tell you about the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. She gave her life for yours and would do anything for those she loved. Let me tell you about your mother, Haley.”
She threw her head back laughing and he sat amazed. Amazed that someone could be filled with so much light after so much loss. He had never learned how to balance the two. A true contradiction sat in his mind as he would sit there, trying his best to grasp what was lost with what was found. They both had lost someone important to them, and some would say it made them tougher, but from his experience, it just made things more confusing. Right now with everything, would it be enough if he could ever give her peace?
“You know, out of everyone in the BAU to be stuck here with… I’m glad it is you,” she said resting her head in her hands. He knew that just like him, she had lost connections when she was sent here. But like him, she wasn’t stuck in this fantasy of how things were supposed to be.
Since starting this pattern, it had become his favorite part of the weekdays. He would save the weekends for Jack, knowing that she saved it for Meg and her daughter in the same way. She would sit in a booth, cross-legged in the dim light. The brightest thing in this godforsaken town. She wasn't a kalopsia tinted vision though, wasn’t something that made you wonder if it was fake or for show. She was stunning, an ethereal state of everything right and wonderful. She was in a state of grace where everything was just right.
“Oh my god, Jack is thirteen now? You have a teenager?” Kate asked one day as she propped her head in her hands.
“And your daughter, she's three? And Meg is sixteen?” he asked. “How did she take news you were moving?”
“She wanted to stay in our old area but understood that it wasn’t possible with my life being at risk. Trust me I got to hear every single thought that entered through her angsty teen head. You should have heard her when I talked about the possibility of dating again.” rolling her eyes fondly she looked over at him.
He froze for a moment, he truly hadn’t thought about the possibility that she was dating again. And in a way, he didn’t want to think about it. The saving grace was when she said “I haven't again. It’s not that I don't want to date again. I just think it would be difficult to explain everything…” Both parties when they were around other people had to use the names that were given to them to protect their identities. She was Maddie Strong and he was Scott House. The duo became something else amongst the elderly ladies who attended the Lutheran church down the road. Whenever he passed he could hear them discussing something about them. And maybe the mystery of who they were added to the illusion the small town carried about them. They could be anything and everything. Their pasts could be whatever they needed to be,
“I hear they’re having a love affair and this is a way to keep it from their spouses.”
“I hear they were college sweethearts finding each other again.”
Each rumor flew ahead as they would sit, the months would pass and each time it would remain how it was. How maybe it needed to be. December came in a flurry of beauty and snow-covered grounds.
Kate (7:30 am) : Hey, Gigi is sick. I won't be able to come to our meeting today.
Aaron (7:32 am): Do you two need anything?
Kate (7:35 am): I don't think so. She has a cough, and every store I went to was closed, or out of the cough syrup Gigi can have. So most of my morning has been trying to get liquids into her.
When it came to Hotchner, his way of showing appreciation was acts of service. Little things lined up to help someone's life become easier. It was bringing cookies to the bake sale or cleaning off JJ’s desk when she was gone with Michael after getting his tonsils out. And right now it was finding the medication Gigi needed. So he left a note for Jack and went, four Walgreens and a Walmart later and he finally got a bottle. Throwing it, chicken noodle soup and Gatorades into the cart with some flowers and a coffee that was way too sweet for his liking into the car for her mom. Within forty-five minutes he was standing in front of the Callahan residence. The woman opened the door in a frantic flutter of messy brown hair tied into a top knot, and cinnamon dipped skin splashed with pink cheeks.
“Aaron… What are you doing here?” she asked. A raise of the brow.
“I brought gifts,” he stated, handing the bag and hot coffee to her.
“Oh my god…” she said, holding the warm cup in her hands.
“Kate, you look freezing.” he dared to comment and she gestured to a small blanket pile on the couch.
It took her a moment to respond. “We lost our heating last night, and of course the repair guy can’t come till next week, so now I’m here without heat, a sick toddler and an angsty teenager who blames everything on me and I’m running off of thirty minutes of sleep because whenever I got to sleep Gi would cry that she didn’t feel good.” the shorter woman said, her voice running at a million miles per hour. Yet he seemed to understand every word that came out of her mouth.
He held onto her shoulders, trying his best to calm her down as he listened to her vent.“Kate… kate. Grab Gigi and Meg. You’re staying at my place when I work on getting your furnace fixed.” he calmly told her, his stone-cold tone sounding reassuring and welcoming. She looked at him, trying to work out if he had been serious or not. She shook her head.
“I can't ask you to do that.”
“Good thing you’re not asking. I’m doing this for you.”
“Aaron -”
“Kate.” he would respond. In a way almost to say ‘don’t fight me on this.’
He lets her into the home, and gestures to a room where Gigi and Kate can both take a nap. Dropping Meg off at the mall so she could get out of the house just for a little bit. He hands a cup of syrup to Kate and she raises a brow. “What is this?” she asked, scrunching her nose.
“It's cough syrup mixed with honey. It's the only way Jack would take it when he was younger. I get you’re skeptical but it soothes the throat while also getting the syrup into the child.” he said firmly. She tips it down her daughter’s throat who while she does whine, takes it with no problems. Jack was the kind of child who was sensitive to strong flavors. He would often get sick when it came to these kinds of things. And something he had learned was that honey dulled the strong cherry flavor while adding another mechanism for the throat in the honey. Within half an hour Kate walked out to the living room area where Aaron was sitting with a screwdriver putting a small box back together.
“She's finally asleep,” Kate said softly.
“I’m glad. You should go get sleep.”
“No, I’m okay.”
“Kate…” he started, handing her a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. “Go get changed into these, and take a nap. You can't help Gigi if you're not resting yourself…” he told her. She raised a brow, taking the clothing. “I”m going to put this back. I’ll be back.” he said, grabbing his keys. “Take a nap. I’ll be back when you wake up.”
As he got to the home, the thing he noticed first was the Christmas lights sitting in a box. He had a feeling Chris used to do this, but he knew Kate wasn’t a fan of ladders or heights in general.
“Kate, I promise nothing will happen.” he had heard JJ say to the woman as they walked across a bridge. The pairing that JJ and Kate had become was incredible. From the way, the two women took care of each other, to how they cared so deeply.
So he wrote a mental note to himself “set up Kate’s lights and stuff.” which truthfully was an exhausting but fulfilling experience. Taking three hours of his time to go in and stream the lights, set up stockings and a Christmas tree. All of which, if the younger woman didn't like, she could take down and his feelings wouldn't be hurt.
As he arrived home, the first thing he noticed was that the home was a little too quiet. Usually, he could hear Jack upstairs playing a video game. Minecraft or something along those lines. He didn’t understand the buzz, but maybe one day he would. He walked into the kitchen to see Kate standing in the center of it, bedhead hair prominent on her head. She had been getting a cup of water, humming to herself when he cleared her throat. Shocking the woman as she turned around “hey, you scared me.” she laughed. And as she looked at him, he swore his breath fell short. She wore the sweatshirt he had gotten from college, it truthfully hanging off of her like it was a dress on a child’s doll. The sweatpants also dangled off her, and he truly didn’t know how to respond. She looked adorable like a vision in his law school gear. The gear was stuff he never really wore, he always hated how it fit on him, but when it came to her. It fit just right. Like it had been waiting for its own calling to be worn
“Is Gigi awake?” he asked her.
“Yeah, I’m just getting her water now. Why…?”
“I have a surprise for you two…” he led on, she rose a brow as continued to say “grab Gigi, I think you two are going to enjoy this.”
The toddler in the back babbled about a movie she had watched with her mother recently. Using hand gestures to show her point. Kate nodded along, adding in her own additional details. Aaron added in comments, things like “oh how fascinating.” and “tell me more.” seemed to be the favorites. As they approached the house, Kate grabbed her daughter before looking at the lights. “You were just going to fix the heat,” she said a bit shocked. As they moved on in she noticed the tree, the stockings, and a few other areas where things had been done. Tied into the perfect home. “Aaron I can’t believe this…” she said and set Gigi down who immediately ran into her playroom.
“I wanted to help. If you don’t like it, my feelings aren’t going to be hurt. I completely understand that not everyone is going to like this kind of stuff. But if you don’t like it… feel free to take any of it down.” he finished. He hadn’t ever found himself rambling before. But for some reason, he just did.
As a response, she stood on her toes, asking him if she could kiss him. He took a step forward and he grabbed him by his sweater. Taking the much taller man's collar in her hands. She pressed her lips to his as he moved his hands to her hair. Tangling his fingers between it subtly. He could taste the coffee on her breath and the taste of vanilla chapstick as it made his mind fuzzy. He focused on the sound of his pounding heart. Feeling Kate’s doing the same thing. Had she wanted this as much as he had? Or was this something she was doing simply because she felt obligated to? He could have spent forever getting lost in the taste of her mouth on his. The thing that pulled him away was the lock of the door becoming undone. Both moved away from one another as Meg walked through the front door, throwing her backpack on the chair as she listened to music through her earbuds. Hotch could hear the sound of Katy Perry booming through. “I - um … thank you.” she said, “for everything…”
He nodded, a bit breathless admittedly but remaining still as he stood there. “Of course…” he didn't know what else to say. “I should get home for Jack…” he said as he started to walk away.
“Wait, Hotch.” she paused and he turned around. “I want to see you again.”
“We see each other almost every day…?” he questioned.
“Aaron. I’m asking you on a date,” she said with a small laugh.
He blinked slowly. And he was sure he scared her off. “I’d really like that,” he said and allowed himself to smile. Something he hadn’t truly done in what seemed like forever.
Aaron (6:28 pm): kate asked me out
Derek (6:30 pm): kate as in pretty girl who worked with the team for a little bit?
Aaron (6:32 pm): yes that kate
Derek (6:35pm): dang, go and get her tiger.
One date turned to four, and four dates turned to seeing each other every other night, it turned to secret conversation and moments of bliss.
“Kate, could you be truly happy with me?” He wasn't a high school sweetheart like Chris had been for her, it wasn’t a situation where immediately they just clicked. Falling in love as they fell together. He wanted to be there for her, and not just because they were both stuck somewhere with limited sources of comfort as to where it was found.
She offered a raise of the brow and took a step back. She had always been wise, and this was something he was amazed by, from how she would talk to the unsubs, helping coax them out from where they were hiding, to helping her own family figure out what fire was hidden below. When she spoke though, oh god did he once again see it. “Aaron, I’ll be happy being by your side as long as you’ll let me.” her words calmed him down. Even when they were team members, there had been situation after situation collected together to lead him to here.
This unsub had been particularly rough, the BAU knew they were getting people from a bar in town. But they didn’t know to what extent. “Hotch, let me go in,” she stated. “I know jerks like this the best.” which had been true, she had worked with people like this a lot longer than he had. She had spent years tracking them down. “I can do this.” and she did, dragging a man out about half an hour later as Rossi smacked handcuffs on his hands. The thing he did notice was a black eye on both Kate and Rossi.
“You okay kid?” Rossi asked her and she nodded
“Yeah, you?” she would respond. And Rossi nodded.
“Before you ask, I’m fine. I’ve dealt with worse,” she commented to Hotch who looked at the pair. He knew she was fine, and the reassurance made it so he didn’t feel like smacking this guy to the
With the end of the year approaching, he could worry about what was next for them when it came. Right now she was her, and he was him.
“Hey look… mistletoe.” She said with a small smirk rising on her features. “Guess you have to kiss me.” She said, bouncing on her toes. She looked like a kid on Christmas who had gotten a puppy, an animal who had gotten adopted at a shelter and found their forever home. She looked like Kate Callahan in all the messy perfection she was. From the gentle curls that lay on her head to the sneakers on her feet that had definitely been well loved. Her sun kissed skin which shone under the Christmas lights to the red on her lips from the candy cane she had just finished. All of it made up who she was. How she would always smell like lavender and coffee, how she would always have a book on her person. From “ what to expect when you’re expecting. ” To Stephanie Meyer’s “the host.” Which truthfully he found odd but if she liked to, it was hers and he couldn’t judge for that.
To fill in the gap between them, he moved forward a few steps. Holding her face in his hands as he leaned down, placing a short kiss on her lips. Capturing them in a short but sweet moment. “God I’ll never get over how tall you are. I have to start wearing heels.” She joked, but he looked at her, her face still in his hands.
“Don’t. I like you just the way you are.” He allowed himself to say, as she looked up at him, standing on her tiptoes to place another kiss gently on his lips.
“Merry Christmas Aaron Hotchner.”