Work Text:
There had been a point in time over the course of the past year where mornings like this had surprised one Lee Dongsik, but they’re so commonplace anymore that it’s more like having an extra comforter draped over him while he sleeps than a genuine shock.
The first time it happened had been pretty jarring, though. Long before he had finally worked up the gumption to clean out his room and make use of his bed, and not long following his last day behind bars, Dongsik had still occupied his couch at night. Even after having not been inside the house for a whole year, the act of lying down on the couch and throwing the blanket over his body was still habitual, and dare he even suggest convenient.
He often awakened multiple times through the night. Be it the mayhaps-psychological pain in his right leg or possibly the discomfort he was so very well-adjusted to while sleeping on the couch. Sometimes it was a nightmare, because no matter how much closure he had been given during the course of his search for his sister, twenty-one years of suffering didn’t go away overnight. Either way, that night had been one of the nights when sleep came and went, and the clock on his phone had put him at just before three in the morning on this particular part of the cycle.
He had sat up and contemplated a visit to the restroom, before he had laid eyes on the man on the other side of the couch. Very unexpectedly, one Han Juwon had managed to sneak into Dongsik’s house while he was in one of his fitful sleeps and made himself comfortable on the only small space left available on the couch. Dongsik didn’t leave a whole lot of room, but Juwon looked oddly comfortable sitting at the corner, his head back on the backrest, one arm dangling over the armrest, and his other hand in his lap. Either he was used to sleeping in odd predicaments (laughable for someone as easily-uncomfortable as Juwon, but still) or he’d just been that tired.
But the part that had gotten Dongsik’s attention most vividly had been the fact that Juwon had driven all this way to come to his house. His new job put him hours away from Manyang. Getting to see Juwon would undoubtedly be a rarity because of not only the nature of the work he was doing, but the sheer distance between the two of them. It had been something Dongsik had considered very unfortunate, but he had also known Juwon couldn’t stay away forever.
He just hadn’t expected to find the guy passed out on the tiny corner of space available on his couch at three in the morning.
Dongsik had contemplated awakening Juwon—maybe going and dusting off an actual bed for him to sleep on—but something had told him he was better off not disturbing the unstable Han Juwon, who might up and leave once he realized Dongsik knew he was here at this hour. So instead, he had slid back down into his position on the couch and closed his eyes, silently reveling in the comfort that was a presence he had grown all-too fond of during the course of their partnership.
He’d slept the rest of the way through that night, and in the morning, he’d been up early enough to catch Juwon before his departure, a cup of coffee extended out toward him. Through a brief discussion, Juwon had all-too-easily confessed that his most recent assignment had been extremely daunting, and overcome with relief and the need to be close to someone familiar, he’d known nowhere else to go and instead sought out Dongsik.
Dongsik hadn’t given him too much grief about it, aside from teasing that he’d mastered breaking into his house. As far as he was concerned, Juwon was welcome in his house any time. Dongsik had his Manyang family, but Juwon had also become a vital part of that. A tiny piece of that big puzzle would always be missing without him here.
Dongsik also possessed the uncanny ability to manifest self-induced loneliness without even trying. He knew of his support system, but it was so much easier to self-isolate, and Juwon had never allowed that to happen. His reasons had always been invasive and annoying, but Dongsik had long-since identified that as his brand. Nosy Han Juwon wouldn’t be himself if not for that tendency.
That night hadn’t been the only night full of surprises. It seemed to happen about once a month, where Dongsik would find Juwon on his couch with him or sleeping on the floor in front of the couch (he had nearly stumbled over the poor idiot for it once). Eventually, Dongsik caved and moved to his bedroom, which was an adjustment all on its own. He woke up more frequently throughout the night, and often found himself on the couch again.
Except for the nights when he found Juwon on the couch. Resting comfortably on his side with his arm draped over the edge, sleeping as quietly as if it were his own bed…it was no surprise Dongsik didn’t have the heart to wake him up or make him move, and looking back, it had been good for him, because he would give in every time and go back to his own bed. And in the morning, he and Juwon would discuss whatever case had led him to drive that long drive to stay with Dongsik over coffee. He’d bid Juwon farewell and go about his life on parole, and that was that.
But this morning brings to Lee Dongsik a whole new surprise. After all those nights finding Juwon asleep on his couch, he encounters two strange happenings. The first is that he actually managed to sleep all night without waking up in the middle of the night. The second is likely the very reason he did sleep all night.
Juwon is fast asleep next to Dongsik in his own bed. It’s still mind-boggling to imagine how this man is able to slip his way in so discreetly, but here he is, just a foot or so away from Dongsik, resting on his side, facing Dongsik.
Han Juwon looks as placid as he does unstable most times. Dongsik knows that beneath that stoic face is always a volatile hurricane comprised of violent emotional turmoil and crippling lack of understanding of everything he missed out on growing up. He’s, in his own unique way, just as broken as Dongsik himself is. Sure, his sister wasn’t kidnapped and then killed in the worst kind of way, but in a way, his own suffering was just as visceral. A father who never really loved him the way a father should have and a mother who had been driven to suicide because of the same syndrome from said father. Burdened by the teaching that expectation trumped familial bonds or the concept of love or affection, Juwon was still figuring out where he belonged in society. He still misunderstood his own obligations in competition with his now-imprisoned father’s, and while he was doing a great job of learning, he was still very broken.
Perhaps that was what drew Dongsik to him so fluidly. While Dongsik’s situation is so vastly different, the two of them are so very alike that it’s almost scary. This understanding between them is so raw that it had taken months for either of them to comprehend that it didn’t make them enemies. Dongsik still isn’t sure if it’s that both he and Juwon are nutjobs or if it’s because neither of them are, but they’re a match made in hell on some level, and it’s quite frankly the most comfortable hell Dongsik has been given the pleasure of existing in.
Dongsik thinks he’s looking at the eye of the storm right now, though. Juwon looks so peaceful in the moment, with his brow unfurrowed and his lips hanging just barely open, the soft inhales and exhales of his sleep indicating his current state of calm. Dongsik almost feels emotional at the sight. It’s barely dawn, with the dim sunlight filtering into the room in a way that’s not overpowering for two people who don’t exactly crave a sunshine-y day, Dongsik can’t tear his gaze away.
He can’t think of a single time that it’s ever bothered him that Juwon comes and stays with him like this. It’s a display of trust, really. Juwon doesn’t welcome himself like this. He has issues with boundaries, and sleeping on someone’s couch, let alone in their bed, isn’t something he likely takes with a grain of salt. He, shockingly, has come to trust Dongsik a great deal. And frankly, Dongsik trusts him with everything after he’d arrested him.
This is more than just being partners. This is something that Dongsik doesn’t have any earthly capacity to understand, but it’s also something he’s come to embrace like many of the other situations in his life that have spiraled beyond his control. Except this time, it’s the polar opposite of unfortunate.
Distance has never been something the two of them have had issues with. Perhaps it had started out as an intimidation tactic for the both of them, but right now, the proximity is comfortable. Dongsik is used to being within inches of Juwon. He’s used to placing hands on shoulders or grabbing fistfuls of shirts. Reaching out and brushing some of Juwon’s hair from his forehead is almost nothing, and it comes so naturally that Dongsik doesn’t realize he’s done it until he feels the brush of skin against his fingertips.
He sees Juwon’s eyelids flutter from closed to half-lidded to open, and the way his gaze shifts slowly to Dongsik’s eyes. It’s as surprising as it is expected to see that he doesn’t back away or try to flee the bed. This just seems like another step forward in the connection between them. Even Juwon, the very epitome of denial, seems to have accepted that fact. He has grown up considerably over the course of the past couple of years.
“This case must have been one of the rougher ones,” Dongsik muses, lowering his hand back to the mattress. He scans Juwon’s face for a reaction, though the younger man seems a little too sleepy to do much. It takes Juwon a second to nod in response.
“It was a child,” he explains, his voice deeper than usual from having been asleep so long. “A little girl, nine years old. She’s been missing for weeks.” Juwon’s eyes fall half-lidded again, and he surprises Dongsik in the way he brings a hand up to tug on the folded-up bit of sheets directly next to Dongsik’s hand. It’s difficult to tell if he wants to take that hand or if he’s just idly playing with fabric as he speaks. “I was starting to worry that her situation would be not unlike your sister’s.”
Well, the situation with the bed certainly makes sense now. Dongsik knows that Juwon harbors a great deal of guilt in place of his own father for everything that had happened during Dongsik’s youth. Had Han Kihwan not covered up his accident, families would have gotten closure and the right people would have paid for their crimes. Dongsik would have never been arrested and his reputation never tarnished. After all that happened, it seemed Juwon almost toiled more over that than Dongsik himself.
“Juwon-ah.”
Their eyes meet once more.
“Did you find her?”
Juwon nods his head. “Yesterday evening.”
“Then she didn’t turn out like Yuyeon. Or Minjeong. Or any of them.” Dongsik brings his hand over just the handful of centimeters it takes to close it over the one playing with the sheets. He hears the quivering inhale from Juwon that tells him he’s still very shaken about it. “It sounds to me like you and your team did everything in your power to make sure you saved that little girl.” He’s sure there weren’t as many factors in this little girl’s case as there had been for the incident in 2000—no cover-ups or police corruption—but it had still very much gotten to Juwon. “I’m proud of you.”
“Lee Dongsik-ssi—” Juwon’s hand tightens into a fist and he shakes his head.
“—aht, aht, aht…stop that.” Dongsik can see the way Juwon’s eyes are starting to become glassy with emotion. He doesn’t want to be reduced to tears himself, but seeing Juwon like this because of a case he had compared to Yuyeon’s…it’s hard to watch.
There’s still a lot of ground for the two of them to cover, it appears. Trauma doesn’t disappear overnight, and Juwon is working in a field that will undoubtedly promise him more nights than this. The fact that he comes to Manyang to stay with Dongsik makes it obvious that he’s doing his best to cope with it, but some cases are going to be harder than others.
And knowing Han Juwon, he’s not going to quit. Dongsik can still picture that firm look on his face when he had said he didn’t consider his new line of work exhausting. He’s proud of what he does, and if that isn’t proper atonement, Dongsik doesn’t know what is.
“You don’t have to feel guilty anymore.”
He knows Juwon isn’t going to just leave it at that. Dongsik himself still lets guilt hover over him like a rain cloud. He still wonders what might have happened if he’d have found Minjeong sooner, or if he hadn’t gotten wasted on the night his sister had died. He toils over his mother’s mental illness and his father freezing to death waiting for Yuyeon. So yeah, he gets it.
But Juwon is barely thirty. Dongsik doesn’t want to see it consume Juwon like it had consumed him.
Juwon doesn’t seem to possess a response. His gaze is locked on the hand clasped atop his. Which is alright—Dongsik has plenty to say. “You saved a person’s life. You’ve saved so many lives since you started. The good will always come with the bad, but that’s why you move forward, okay?” He leans in a little closer, drawing Juwon’s gaze back up to his own with a nod of his head. “If you get stuck on one case, the next one suffers, and I know you’re stronger than that.”
Juwon scoffs. “That sounds like something Nam Sangbae would have said.”
Dongsik turns his focus to their clasped hands and scoffs a bit himself. “It probably was.” As he speaks, he brushes his thumb across the top of one of Juwon’s knuckles. He has such long, delicate fingers—so unlike that of your typical, hardboiled cops. Funny, how he definitely comes across as one of those hardboiled cops despite all of that. A spoiled, hardboiled cop with weird squicks.
“I’m sorry for coming into your bed,” Juwon suddenly says, drawing Dongsik’s attention back up to his eyes. He seems significantly more relaxed now, almost like how he had looked when he’d still been asleep. “It was thoughtless of me.”
Dongsik scoffs this time, shaking his head. “Please—I’m so used to you invading my space now that it doesn’t even bother me. I haven’t kicked you out yet, have I?”
The air between them grows considerably lighter, and Dongsik is surprised yet again by the way Juwon slides his hand from his grip and instead brings it up to the shirt covering his chest. “That’s a funny way to say you enjoy my company.”
As Juwon slides in closer, Dongsik thinks he should probably be a lot more nervous than he is, but he’s not. This feels as natural as everything else between them. It’s a little shocking that Juwon is the one bold enough to close the space between them, but Dongsik makes no effort to fight it. What’s coming next is something he’s not all that surprised about.
“You understood me, though,” Dongsik clarifies when Juwon’s hand slides up along his chest to his neck and his fingers curl around the back of it.
The kiss comes mutually. By the time Juwon is pulling Dongsik in, Dongsik is already leaning in to close the distance between them completely. His eyes fall shut and his lips open as he tips his head to capture Juwon’s lips amidst his own.
Perhaps it’s because it’s been a long time coming, but the kiss is as gentle as it is lingering, and neither of them feel the compulsion to move away. Dongsik was definitely worried for the tiniest of moments that maybe Juwon’s aversion to intimacy would make this unpleasant for him, but considering he’s the one instigating it, Dongsik thinks he’s got nothing to worry about.
In fact, it’s Juwon who takes the next step, too. He tilts his head sideways and deepens the kiss, and his hand traces its way up and into the strands of hair on the back of Dongsik’s head.
By that point, Dongsik is completely sold into the moment. He curls his arm around Juwon’s waist, flattening his hand at the small of the other man’s back, and pulls him forward until they’re chest to chest.
They’re both out of breath by the time Juwon pulls away, his fingers now tracing the side of Dongsik’s face. His eyes are wide and pensive, his somewhat swollen lips still parted, as he searches Dongsik’s face for something Dongsik can’t quite identify. Maybe it’s the same thing Dongsik is thinking—that this thing between them doesn’t belong in a dictionary. That it can’t be made up in words, because it’s something unique to the two of them. It’s somewhere between their arguments that had been playful even when they had been hostile in the past and the unending desire to protect one another in some way. It rests somewhere near how seeing Juwon smile makes Dongsik dizzy with relief, or how the germophobic Juwon has never had a problem being close to Dongsik, even when he’d been certain he hated him.
It’s undeserving of a title like ‘love’, but also so much more profound that it’s way out of its league.
And it doesn’t matter, because it’s theirs and theirs alone.
Juwon must have come to the decision that he doesn’t know what to say, so he instead makes the next move, boldly planting his hand on Dongsik’s chest and urging him onto his back. Before he’s even managed to pull himself atop him, he’s already kissing him again. Dongsik can’t say he blames him, to be quite honest. The feeling is pretty addicting now that they’ve both gotten to experience it.
Juwon straddles Dongsik’s waist as their kiss grows more heated. Dongsik feels the way Juwon’s tongue teases at his lower lip, and before he knows it, he’s got both his arms up and around Juwon’s waist, hands sliding up, tugging the shirt from the man’s pants so that he can bring his hands up underneath and run his fingers along the bare skin of his back. His fingertips brush the dip of Juwon’s spine, and Juwon exhales shakily into the kiss.
Despite their current position, there’s no rush between them. Juwon has lowered himself so that his forearms and elbows are supporting his weight, his hands on either side of Dongsik’s, as their bodies grow comfortable pressed together. Dongsik’s hands find Juwon’s shoulder blades, and his legs fall open to take Juwon’s weight between them. On pure instinct, they slip into motion, hips gyrating against hips. The friction makes both their breathing start to shake.
Juwon’s shirt comes off first, as Dongsik pulls it up and off over his head. As he does so, he uses the shirt to turn them over until he’s the one sitting atop Juwon. He doesn’t realize how much he’s wanted to taste this man’s skin until he tips his head and brushes a wet lower lip along Juwon’s jawline and closes his lips around the curve of it. He likes how he can literally feel Juwon’s sharp inhale in response to the contact, and he can’t resist the urge to tip his head further and suck lightly at his neck.
“N…No marks,” Juwon requests breathily, palming at Dongsik’s own shirt in the process.
“Aish…” Dongsik chuckles around the half-assed exclamation against Juwon’s throat. “And here I was, thinking I’d get to obscure your professionalism a bit.”
Juwon pushes open Dongsik’s plaid button-up, giving his shoulder a harsh squeeze in the process. “Shut up.”
“When have I ever been known to do that?” Dongsik teases in response, sitting up for long enough to pull his undershirt up and off his shoulders, before he drops down again and continues his assault on Juwon’s neck. He immediately finds he likes the way Juwon’s long fingers feel brushing along the skin of his sides and back, roaming freely.
“I bet I can find a way,” Juwon pants, his head tipping to the side and a shaky sigh following his words despite them. He solidifies his words when his fingers slide down to work open Dongsik’s fly.
And yeah, it works. Dongsik could have probably come up with a response had he really wanted to, but the more Juwon toes the line between clothing and bare skin, the less he wants to get caught up in their play-fighting. He finds, as soon as they’re both utterly naked and pressed together, he doesn’t care. What he cares about is finding Juwon’s lips once more with his own and panting out his name as his bare hips rock down into the ones beneath him.
Juwon is no different. The kiss grows sloppy as the arousal between them becomes more prominent. Dongsik feels Juwon’s trembling fingers slide down along his arms, and then his sides, between their bodies, and he shudders at the feeling of those fingers curling around him. Juwon’s grip is clumsy, but not unpleasantly so. It doesn’t take him long to slip into rhythm, and it’s the best Dongsik can manage to bury his face into the side of the other man’s neck as the pleasure elicits something of a moan from his lips.
Dongsik doesn’t fight it when Juwon takes over once more and rolls them so that he’s on top. He’s sitting upright, between Dongsik’s legs, as he continues pumping freely. Dongsik is quite frankly on cloud nine at the sight, as he gets to look up and see the focused look on Juwon’s face—feel the intense pleasure that builds with every stroke of his hand. His hips buck up unconsciously to meet the movements, and then he drops his hand down to Juwon’s wrist and stops him altogether.
He’s working to level his breathing as he laughs a weak, quivering laugh and speaks up. “Come up a little higher, Juwon-ah.” He sees the look of confusion on the other man’s face as he brings his fingers to his lips and sucks them into his mouth. Oddly enough, Juwon doesn’t look all that put off by the gesture, which is promising. Dongsik urges him up a little higher onto his waist with his free hand. “Stand on your knees for a minute.”
Juwon is surprisingly compliant, even as Dongsik brings those slicked fingers down and pushes one of them into his body. He tenses for a moment, but relaxation comes sooner than probably the both of them expected. Dongsik doesn’t know if that’s because this isn’t Juwon’s first time or just because of the level of comfort between the two of them, but he continues regardless.
Soon enough, he’s got two fingers buried deep inside of Juwon, curling them up for a steady brush against his prostate. Juwon has done a fantastic job of keeping still up until then, but Dongsik feels the bundle of muscle inside of him just in time to see him buck forward in response to the sudden stimulation. His entire face goes red and this time, it’s him who reaches down and stops Dongsik. Panting, he pulls those fingers from his body, and their eyes meet once more.
For a split second, Dongsik wonders if he took it too far, but Juwon doesn’t move from atop him. “You’re clean?”
Dongsik outright laughs. “I don’t get out much, you know.” He isn’t going to go into detail, but in the past twenty-two or so years, he hasn’t exactly had the time to work on his sex life. In his defense, he gets the feeling Juwon’s story isn’t much more colorful. What with his father’s unrealistic expectations and all. “I don’t think your case is much different,” he teases as an afterthought, to which Juwon rolls his eyes.
“I can’t tell what that’s supposed to mean.” Juwon grunts as he gestures down between their bodies. “But if you want to keep going, I’d suggest—”
“Loud and clear, Inspector Han,” Dongsik cuts him off, before he spits into his hand and reaches down to slick himself up. He silently notes how much better it had felt when Juwon had been touching him, but soon enough, he’s lining himself up with Juwon by way of hands on the other man’s hips.
Juwon is tight, the heat and friction almost painful as he sinks his way down onto Dongsik’s cock. But soon enough, he’s completely impaled on him, his hands planted firmly on Dongsik’s chest as he works to regain his bearings. His breathing is shaky all over again, and Dongsik can’t help but brush his fingertips along one of the man’s thighs, his eyes seeking out Juwon’s.
“Are you okay?” He questions, voice devoid of any of his prior playfulness.
Juwon hesitates only briefly, before he nods. He waits a few more seconds and then starts moving. He’s being careful, slow and tentative, but soon enough, he’s found a pace that works for the both of them in the moment. It’s not too slow and not too fast, as they both work to adjust.
When Juwon relaxes enough, Dongsik starts to move. He finds a rhythm in rocking his hips upward to meet the downward movements provided by Juwon.
Juwon feels good—incredibly so. Even moving as cautiously as he is, his body is warm and comforting and sends shockwaves of pleasure rippling their way through Dongsik’s nerve endings. They move together so well, and with Juwon’s hands on the mattress on either side of Dongsik’s head and Dongsik’s hands on his hips, they meet in the middle, their bodies connecting so deeply that it feels fated.
Dongsik can’t help himself. As he angles his hips, he pushes himself up onto one hand and captures Juwon’s lips in another kiss. They’re turning over again, both of them seemingly knowing what to do. Now, Dongsik is between Juwon’s legs, sliding into him once more. He hears the shift of material as Juwon’s hands ball into fists on the sheets beneath him and a moan spills from his lips. They kiss, and then lips barely brush as foreheads press together. Dongsik thrusts in and grunts, and Juwon lets out a soft, keening noise in response.
It’s humid between them—amidst the panting and groaning and the thin sheen of sweat between their bodies as skin slides against skin and pleasure begins to mount. Juwon’s hands find Dongsik’s back, and Dongsik bites back another pleasured grunt at the feeling of blunt nails digging into his skin.
Juwon tips his head sideways and his lips fall open to release a sound that mingles somewhere between a curse and the utterance of Dongsik’s name. His back arches and his entire body clenches, and his white-hot release creates more slickness between their bodies.
That tightness pulls Dongsik over the edge and he pulls out just in time for his release to find its way onto Juwon’s chest and torso. By the time he’s finished, he’s completely and utterly spent, and it takes everything he has in him not to topple over onto the mattress next to Juwon.
But the sight of the man struggling to catch his breath beneath him works wonders to keep him awake. Juwon’s face is flushed, his swollen lips parted, eyes half-lidded and hair more out of place than Dongsik has ever seen it. That’s saying something, considering he’s seen it weighed down and clumped together by the rain on multiple occasions.
He likes this sight, though. He likes the reason for it. He likes that Juwon was comfortable enough with him to let him see him like this, let alone be the one to make him that way.
Juwon must agree, because he’s quick to pull Dongsik back down for another long, deep kiss. But after a few seconds of languid kissing, he pats Dongsik on the face and breaks it off.
“I’ll need to use your shower this morning.”
Dongsik scoffs and sits back. “No doubt?”
“You’re funny,” Juwon snarks back, before he pushes Dongsik off of him and scoots toward the edge of the bed. “You should probably join me.”
He’s full of surprises today, isn’t he?
Dongsik is left sitting on his bed as Juwon heads for the shower. He blinks out the surprise in his eyes and then laughs to himself as he clambers up from the bed and makes to follow.
As unexpected as this entire morning was, Dongsik has a feeling it’s the start of something common between them. That’s been the trend lately, hasn’t it? Juwon does something edging on domestic and Dongsik gets used to it, and then he pushes the envelope even further. He doubts it’ll get anywhere near the two of them living together, considering Juwon’s work location, but he’ll take what he can get.
Juwon probably feels the same. They are very much the same, after all.