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Joel loves taking Enkka on random visits to see his family in Oulu. When he was a baby, flying was their easiest option; driving alone with a crabby infant was the last thing he wanted to do for fun. But now they’ve both grown to appreciate the bonding time that comes along with a long drive. And at the end of the road, he gets smothered in kisses by his loving grandmother and all of her home cooking that he can eat.
It’s not that Milli doesn’t like her in-laws, far from it actually! It’s just that these occasional trips back home are Joel and Enkka’s thing, and she’s more than happy to let them go so she can have some solo relaxing time around the house. It’s more convenient to go for family reunions and holidays, the things that are planned out ahead of time. Joel and Enkka’s trips are too impulsive for her busy schedule.
With Enkka turning 5 in a couple weeks and his next tour in the US starting soon, the two were long overdue for a good family visit. His mother promised them a homemade cake and a swimming pool to themselves if they found time to come up for a few days. Between the promised gifts and the little bit of homesickness he’d been feeling lately, it was an easy choice to pack up and go.
“Okay, you got everything you need?” Milli asked as she helped lug their bags into Joel’s car. “I packed you some granola bars and water bottles in case you need a snack, and also I packed Enkka’s favorite crackers but you’ll have to stop and get more soon.”
Joel thought it was cute that Milli was fussing over them like this was their first solo trip. She’s always the one to meticulously plan for every road trip, and he’s grateful for it because he knows he forgets something every single time.
“Hm, and let me guess. You want me to text as soon as we get there safely?” he asked in a playful, sarcastic tone as he pulled her closer for a kiss.
“Hell yeah I do!” He pulled her closer for a kiss that lasted for a few more seconds until they heard a tiny voice running out from their house.
“Hey, I want a hug too!” Enkka bolted towards them with his backpack hanging onto one shoulder. He stumbled and nearly fell, had he not been by his parents’ legs.
Joel picked him up. “Hey now, be careful! You can give äiti all the hugs you want.” Milli happily indulged him in hugs and kisses, knowing that he would miss them while they were gone. “Okay, now isä gets one more for good luck driving.” While still holding onto Enkka, who pretended to be grossed out by his parents’ display of affection, they shared one more kiss for the road.
“Have fun, you two, and don’t forget to let me know when you get there.” She watched as Joel buckled Enkka into his car seat and pulled out of their driveway, refusing to go back inside until they were out of sight. She wanted to start on the laundry, but she had plenty of time to do that. For now, it was time to soak in her first self-indulgent bubble bath in a while.
So far, so good. The pair jammed out to the music Joel chose for the drive, but Enkka mostly kept to himself with his tablet in the back seat. He drove peacefully, enjoying the open highway once they got out of Helsinki. They were preparing to stop for lunch in Jyväskylä soon and give Milli an update call to see if she missed them yet. There was barely anyone on the road and Joel liked it that way.
As they drove through a roundabout going into Jyväskylä, he swerved to avoid hitting someone who pulled out in front of him. The sudden movement dragged Enkka out of his headspace while Joel worried about how he was feeling. They were soon back on their track, exiting the traffic circle in one piece.
“How are we doing back there, buddy?” he asked quietly.
He was sure Enkka didn’t hear him because the next thing he said was a long, very pronounced, “MITÄ VITTUA!”
Joel nearly choked on air. He knows that Milli is good at… collecting colorful phrases for terrible drivers, for lack of a better term. It’s the main reason why he won’t let her drive on long family road trips, either to Oulu or Vaasa. Her road rage scares the shit out of him and he’ll be honest with that knowledge. But he has gotten some pretty good song lyrics out of it, so he can’t complain too much.
Like most of the parents in their group, none of them shy away from swearing around their children. It’s a fact of life to them and also part of their music and image. They would rather it be normalized at home where they can teach them their significance. But, as far as Joel could remember, they’ve never heard Enkka swear. They knew it was inevitable and they were waiting for the day so they could sit down and have a conversation with him about it. And as it turns out, that day came sooner than he thought.
Without another word, he pressed the call button on his steering wheel and scrolled until he found Milli’s contact. The music stopped and was replaced by the ringing tone, which lasted three seconds before she answered. “Hey, kulta, what’s up?” she asked, completely oblivious.
Enkka heard her voice and nearly jumped in the front seat with him. “Hi äiti, I miss you!”
“Oh, don’t try to be cute now!” He wasn’t angry at Enkka, just really not happy about having to handle this situation alone.
“Joel sweetie, what’s going on?” He could hear the sound of her splashing a little bit of water from her bath.
Joel paused and braced himself for what he was about to say. “You’re never gonna believe what your son just said.”
“Oh so he’s my son now?” She was a bit taken aback by the phrasing, even though it’s a regular occurrence when Enkka gets into his shenanigans, either alone or with one of his cousins.
“Yes, your son, because that was all you a second ago.”
Milli sighed. “Fiiiiine. Tell me.”
“He’s been listening to you while you drive. He just said the v-word to someone who almost hit us in a roundabout in Jyväskylä just now.”
There was a pause and the sound of Milli choking back some of her wine. “I’m sorry, it’s not funny but it’s just a little bit funny.”
“SORRY MY… a-s-s. Now I gotta be the one to tell him not to say it again, thanks a lot, Emilia.” Even now, this was barely a fight between them. He was just not looking forward to solo damage control. “I thought you’d keep it a little under control with him tagging along.”
“Babe, I’m a librarian, you know I don’t believe in censorship,” she joked, still trying to keep them from arguing about it. “Besides, I’m sure he’s picked up some colorful language from you and the guys, so it’s not all my fault.”
Joel sighed and used one hand to rub the bridge of his nose after merging onto the next highway. “Okay, fine, but I’m not the one who yells at other drivers, he got that from you.”
“Well, if some people didn’t drive like bats out of Hell, I wouldn’t have to. But anyway… are you gonna talk to him about it?”
“Yeah, when we stop for lunch in a few minutes. I’m not excited about it but I guess I gotta do it before he slips up around my mom. You know she doesn’t play that shit.”
Milli laughed but kept her thoughts to herself. It’s funny he says that, when this was the same woman offering up old Finnish fertility secrets the moment she found out they were having issues conceiving. A little bit of swearing never hurt Mama Hokka’s ears. But maybe she could see it from his point of view, that it’s fine if it’s coming from an adult and not her 5-year-old grandson. “Fine. Best of luck to you, kulta.”
“Thank you. Now that we’ve come to an agreement, let me tell you how much I love you and miss you already, and it sounds like you’re having a good time.”
“I miss my boys too,” she responded cutely as she took a sip of wine. “Oh no, I’m actually pretty lonely if you ask me. It’s just me and Netflix against the world.”
“Okay, smart ass,” he laughed, careful to be sure Enkka didn’t hear him say that. “I’ll let you know when we get to my parents’ place and how our little chat goes, okay?”
They shared their cute little goodbyes, and then Enkka joined in before he hung up and it was too late. “Isä?” he asked in a tiny voice.
“Yes, buddy?”
“Are you and äiti mad at each other?” He wasn’t paying attention to the words, only the tone being exchanged between the two of them. In reality, none of that became an argument. That doesn’t matter when it’s falling on the ears of their son who can’t tell the difference. Joel and Milli are careful not to say the wrong things around Enkka because of his ADHD. He’s a lot like his dad, but being a kid and still learning things about other people is tough on him sometimes. At the moment, Joel didn’t realize it would sound like a fight to him.
“Oh, oh no Enkka. We’re fine, we love each other! We just needed to talk about something serious.” They soon found a diner to stop for lunch, and Joel helped unbuckle Enkka from his carseat. The boy had gone silent for the past few minutes, not saying anything since the question he asked. Joel was concerned for him, and even more concerned about the talk they would have soon.
Joel picked him up and put him down on the pavement. “Hey Enkka, we need to have a talk, just you and me.” He knelt down to his level, but the boy wasn’t looking him in the eye. He could probably already tell where this was going. “First, I want you to know that I’m not mad at äiti or you, okay? Do you remember what you said back there?”
Enkka nodded, staring down at his feet. “I said a bad word, didn’t I?”
“Not bad, just a grown up word. Your mom knows and she’s not mad at you either. But I wanted to tell you to be more careful using those words next time, okay? With me and äiti , we say that word a lot and you hear us say it a lot. And when you become a grown up, you can say it too. Deal?”
Without another word, Enkka brought his hands to his face and began to sob quietly. He hates the feeling of thinking someone’s mad at him, especially when it’s one of his parents. He’s more sensitive than most kids, and he seems to recognize when he does something wrong after the fact. They don’t blame him for acting before he thinks - Joel does it too - so they take it easy on him. He's only human, just like them, and he deserves just as much kindness as they do when they mess up sometimes. It always hurts Joel’s heart to see him this way; there’s no way in hell he would ever be mad at him.
“Hey, buddy. Bring it in.” He opened his arms for a hug, which Enkka gladly accepted. He fell into his dad’s arms, putting his head on his shoulder and hugging tightly around his shoulders. With both of his parents, he feels free to let out his feelings. “Shh, it’s okay, let it out.”
He made himself more comfortable sitting on the ground to hold him closer. He was thankful no one was around, not for himself but for Enkka. He didn’t want him to feel any more embarrassed than he already was. “I’m not mad at you, okay? I just wanted to tell you that before we saw mummo. She doesn’t like those words.” His voice was calm and reassuring, but he hoped he could be heard over the sound of his crying. He cradled him in his arms and held him closer. “We all make mistakes. Even me and äiti make mistakes sometimes.”
Enkka lifted his head a bit to look at him. “Really?” he asked between heaves of breath.
“Yeah, really!” Joel responded back, rubbing back his hair softly. “You might think I’m the coolest guy on Earth, but I’m not. I’m just like you, I’m not perfect either.” Enkka began to half-heartedly wipe away his tears, but Joel stepped in and brushed his cheeks with his thumbs. “Do you feel better, or do you need a few more minutes?”
Enkka nodded. “I feel better.”
“That’s good. Now, what did we learn?”
“Those words are grown up words and I shouldn’t say them.”
Joel smiled reassuringly and pinched his cheek, making him laugh and shy away from him. “That’s my boy. One more hug?” Now sporting a broad smile on his face, Enkka stumbled into his dad’s arms and wrapped himself tightly around his shoulders again. “Yeah, big hug! You know I love you, right?”
“Right!” Enkka nodded his head, getting a little annoyed when his hair fell into his eyes. “I love you too, isä!”
Joel stood up from his seat on the ground, brushing some of the excess dirt off his jeans. “Now, let’s grab some lunch and then we can keep going. Mummo is super excited to see you soon.”
At the mention of his grandmother, Joel had to chase after Enkka as he ran into the diner. He could barely eat his lunch as he talked about how excited he was to see his grandparents, how he couldn’t want to hug mummo and bake cookies with her, and how he couldn’t wait to show isoisä what his dad had been teaching him on the ice.
This trip was worth the adventure. Joel knew he would miss it on the band’s next tour in America in a few weeks. But for now, it was all about him and Enkka… and also making sure he can keep the swearing around his dear mummo to a minimum.