Work Text:
Six months after Endor, Luke goes home.
Tatooine was as hot and dry as he remembered, and Luke wanted to cry. For years he had hated his home, his life. He’d been a child, growing into himself and pushing at his parents. He hadn’t understood. Now Luke is grown, and would give so much to go back, or to just give Owen and Beru one more hug, see them smile at each other one more time. The only thing that keeps Luke from collapsing into sobs is the reminder that water is precious here, and Owen would scold him for wasting it before giving Luke part of his daily ration to stop potential headaches.
Blinking back tears, Luke made his way towards their farm.
---
Leia kept moving.
There was so much to do. There was too much to do. The Rebellion was the New Republic, true, but creating a new government from the ashes of a fascist regime made risking her life seem easy. Rooting out Imperial sympathizers, assuring worlds that they were free, making sure Rebel veterans were cared for, and sorting Alderaanian refugees were only a few things Leia had to do.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had brushed her hair with something other than her fingers and was grateful that the intricate braids her mother had taught her hid the disaster. Leia missed her mother.
But she didn’t have time for that. Mon was calling her, and a group of senators were trying to get her to resign as interim Chancellor. She had work to do.
---
Luke sat at the edge of the old courtyard. His legs dangled over the edge; he wasn’t ready to go inside. It was a burned husk, anyway. And Luke didn’t think he’d be able to make his way in without throwing up. The charred smell of burnt flesh and the life Owen and Beru had made together had been blown away by years of harsh winds and sandstorms.
---
When even Crix Madine told Leia to go take a break, Leia knew she had to look like death warmed over.
She felt it, too. Six months of nonstop movement, six months of effort, six months of looking at hopeful parents, partners, children, and friends and having to watch their hearts break when she told them their loved one hadn’t made it. Six months of barely speaking with Luke, who had flown off to Sith knows where, and of dealing with Han’s flightiness. Six months after her birth father had died. Four and a half years since her parents had died with her planet and billions of her people.
Leia takes in a shuddering breath and sits on her bunk.
Six months.
---
Luke isn’t sure where Ben put Owen and Beru’s burning bodies. He knows it’s near the main entrance to the house, but Luke had been so distraught he’d barely been able to look at them.
He sits near the spot he guesses the makeshift pyre had burned and stares out at the setting suns.
---
Leia hasn’t left her room in a week.
C3PO is worried. He keeps knocking on the door and asking if he can do anything for her. Leia ignores him until someone hurries him away.
Han brings her food for every meal. Leia eats all of it because supplies were still scarce and her father taught her to be grateful for what she had.
Leia tries not to throw everything up when she wakes up screaming for her parents as they explode with her home.
---
Luke leaves Tatooine a day after he arrives.
He leaves behind a japor snippet, carved with the Twin Suns and blessings for peace. He buries it under the sand, watches it sink into the earth. As the charm disappears from view, Luke swears he can hear Beru singing as she works, and Owen humming in time with his wife.
He wishes he could stay, wants to lay in the sand and let it bury him, too. But Luke has been here too long. Luke has been away too long. He can feel it, can feel a strange pull along his bond with Leia. Like she is about to explode.
Leia
---
She’s shaking and she can’t stop. She feels like she’s shattering, like she is falling apart and she can’t catch all her pieces.
Her room is full of noise. The walls are quivering and anything that isn’t bolted down is crashing into the walls. Leia covers her ears and curls into a fetal position. She can hear her sobs and screams over the rattling. She can’t hear the person who is pounding on her door.
She just wants to let go. She wants to go supernova and let the grief and anger and hatred and love consume her and everything around her. She swears she’s about to let go.
---
“Oh, Leia. You have to let your grief go.”
Leia keeps sobbing. It’s been three days since her best friend moved off world. She’ll never be able to let go.
Her mother’s skirts rustle as she bends down to wrap Leia up in an embrace.
“I know it’s hard, my love, but you cannot let your grief consume you. You need to feel it, acknowledge it, and then let it be. You may still be sad, but you must continue on.”
Leia shakes her head, sniffling into her mother’s court gown. Breha smooths a hand over Leia’s hair.
“Life is hard, Leia. It’s full of love and joy, but it is also full of heartbreak. We all need to learn how to make it through the sad times and reach the happy times again. My love, don’t let your emotions consume you.”
---
Leia!
Leia gasps, then goes limp.
Everything crashes down around her. She can finally hear someone pounding on her door. She can feel the scratches she made along her arms in her haze. She can feel Luke, desperately reaching for her, trying to keep her here, keep her from disappearing.
Han is yelling through the door. It melted itself shut somehow. She gives a raspy laugh.
Luke sends relief along their bond, and a question. Leia sends reassurance and chastisement back. Her brother feels sheepish, but Leia can feel him getting closer. He will be with her soon.
Leia sends love to her brother, and a thanks to her mother, to her father. She uses her communicator to tell Han that she’s okay, and to get Artoo over here, he needs to unweld a door.
As Artoo works to free her and Leia assures various generals and leaders that she is okay, she just needs to speak with a counselor and to take a shower, she sees her mother in the corner of her eye. When she turns to look at her, Breha vanishes. But Leia can feel her mother’s arms holding her up.
---
“Where did you go?”
“No where, at first. I- I meant to go to Tatooine, right away. But I couldn’t. I missed them too much. It hurt too much.”
“Mh. I went to work.”
“Leia, I’m sor-”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I went away to work. I was a shell. And then I shattered. I miss them so much, some days I can barely stand to get up.”
“How do you do it, Leia? Please, I feel myself falling apart bit by bit. I thought leaving them on Tatooine would be the end, but I can’t let go.”
“My mother told me that I can’t let my emotions consume me. I was so emotional, so full of feelings. She told me to feel everything, but to let it go when it starts to take me over. It’s not easy, but… but remembering her helps.”
“Tell me more about her? About them both?”
“Only if you tell me about your parents.”
“Okay.”