Chapter Text
James Sirius Potter wasn’t as stupid or oblivious as everyone thought. Sure he wasn’t as smart as his other family members and he did miss certain cues that everyone else got but he wasn’t stupid.
What he was is an actor. He was a pretender. He wore masks and had walls around himself made of steel, but in front of all that was a wall of glass that was sparkly and screamed for attention. That wall everyone paid attention to.
He was James Sirius Potter, resident prankster just like his namesakes and quidditch crazed like almost everyone else in his family. He was the first Potter child, the one who’s fame went to his head. The one who was loud and demanded attention. He was James Sirius Potter the boy who was least like his parents and more like his namesakes before they got their heads screwed on straight.
Or at least that’s what everyone thought. No one saw the James who’s smile would waver ever so slightly. No one saw the James who’s shoulders would fall down in defeat as he walked behind a group of ‘friends’ that laughed and joked and said side remarks that they were sure he would never understand. No one saw the James that would sneak his sister the invisibility cloak because she was the real prankster of the family. No one saw the James who’s eyes would follow his brothers every move with fear and desperation in his eyes.
That James didn’t exist to anyone. Well to anyone except a certain Ravenclaw.
“Hey, Potter!” A voice called out.
James turned his head slightly to see a tall dark haired boy running towards him. Sighing he slowed down slightly so the other boy could catch up.
“Something you need Park?” He asked.
The other boy had finally caught up to him with a grin on his face.
“Fancy a date with me this weekend?” The other boy asked with a grin.
James snorted and shook his head, he had rejected every request and demand from the other students by pretending he didn’t understand them. Now in his sixth year no one bothered asking him out anymore.
No one but Adam Park that is.
Although Adam was different. James didn’t have to pretend with Adam and the other boy was never very insistent with asking him out. It was always at the beginning and end of the school year. A routine for them both, a constant in both their life’s that would have to change one day. Seventh year was only a year away after all.
“You know, anyone else would have given up by now.” James said with a smirk.
Adam laughed and shook his head, “Guess we’re both different then. So what do you say?”
James shook his head and walked away. He knew he’d see Adam later today, maybe he’d even get away from his other ‘friends’ for a few hours. He’s forgotten how tiring it was to pretend around a group of assholes after spending nearly the whole summer alone.
Not that anyone realized he was alone. It was surprisingly easy to get his parents to let him stay out nights on end, they never questioned that he’d be lying about meeting up with his friends. Not that he could blame them, not after what happened the year before with Albus.
“Don’t get stuck in that head of yours Potter. If you do I’ll have no other intelligent people to talk to.” Adam said.
James rolled his eyes, “I have several cousins and two siblings who are all much smarter than me. Everyone knows that.”
Whoops, James thought, he hadn’t meant to sound so bitter with that last part.
Adam frowned at him slightly. “Don’t say that. And maybe everyone else would know you are smart if you’d stop being who everyone expects you to be.”
James pressed his lips together tightly and shook his head. No, he thought, he can’t do that. This is the best way to protect his family without getting physically injured and being a reckless idiot like his dad and brother.
“You know I can’t do that Park.” James muttered.
“I wish you realized that you could.”
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Adam Park didn’t mean to fall for James Sirius Potter. But after sneaking into the library one night and finding the other boy curled up with a history book of all things he knew his heart was taken.
Well, he didn’t know then. But in his third year he knew that was the moment he had started to fall for James Sirius Potter. The James he saw that no one else got to see.
For weeks after that incident he had watched the other boy, watched him and realized how easy it was to pick apart his mask if you just paid attention.
“You know, you aren’t as secretive about stalking me as you think.” James said one day.
Adam was so startled that he tripped and fell.
It had taken awhile but James did start to trust him. It hurt to realize that the other boy expected everyone to only want to be around him for his fame. For his parents and family’s fame. Never for him.
But Adam refused to let James have no one. His mother always told him that everyone needed someone, no one should be alone.
It was at the end of their first year when he asked the other boy out for the first time. It was a joke then and they both knew it.
“You really are crazy Park,” James had said with a smile before turning around and walking towards his parents and siblings.
He had asked again in the beginning of their second year. It was still a joke then, a private inside joke just for the two of them. Adam never even told his mother about it and he told her everything.
At the end of third year something has changed and they both knew it. Adam knew it was a good thing James had rejected him again then, they were both so young then. But fourth year they both knew the no was a silent maybe. A maybe that might never be answered or a maybe that was keeping them grounded.
By fifth year it was routine for Adam to ask James out and for James to reject him. It was their Thing that only the two of them and maybe a few ghosts knew about.
And Adam was okay with that. But now it was their sixth year and next year their seventh. This routine that he always looked forward would have to come to an end at some point.
But for now they could pretend together. Pretend that this unspoken thing between them was nothing at all and that they weren’t hiding themselves from everyone around them.
It was so easy to keep pretending than it was to break the cycle they were in. Adam could see why James found it easier to be who everyone expected him to be instead of himself.
It was their loss, Adam thought to himself, because the real James is one of the best people he knows and he wouldn’t trade him for the world.
He just wish that James himself would realize this as well.