Archive of Our Own

Cycle 0.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru woke up with his head on another boy’s chest.

Generally speaking, this wasn’t how Taka usually woke up - he had a squeaky clean record of waking up in his own bed, minus this new infraction - so, for a brief moment, he was… disoriented, to put it mildly. He’d run through about fifty explanations, all of which he had dismissed after a moment of analysis, before he woke up fully and remembered the killing game. More importantly, he remembered Mondo Owada.

Who was currently half-naked under his face.

Better than fully naked, of course - that had been last night - but still immediately embarrassing, and worthy of a poke in the ribs and a hissed “Mondo!”

Nothing. Goodness, if they were going to make a habit of this, Taka was going to have to educate Mondo on the dangers of oversleeping. He poked him a little harder. “Mondo!”

Slowly, Mondo’s eyes slid open. After a brief pause of wide-eyed confusion, they softened, and a sleepy grin spread across his face. “Hi.”

Okay, that was adorable, but not the time. “It’s time to get up.”

“Hey, hey-“ Mondo grabbed Taka’s arm, effectively pulling him back into the bed. “Just, like… five more minutes, bro, I swear.”

“Mondo,” Taka begged, making absolutely no attempt to get up, “we’ll be late for breakfast.”

“The extent to which I care about that,” Mondo said, wrapping an arm around Taka’s waist, “is, to put it in scientific terms, approximately zero shits.” He punctuated it with a kiss against Taka’s temple.

Taka sighed, resigning himself to a life of giving in to forehead kisses and sleepy curse words, and tilted his head to look at Mondo, grinning like an idiot. “Can’t argue with that, I suppose.”

“Hell no, you can’t.” Mondo kissed him once, and settled back in with his eyes closed.

“Mondo?”

“Mhm?”

“I’m exceptionally happy right now.”

Mondo snorted, rolling over to hold Taka close to him. “Yeah? I’m pretty fuckin’ psyched myself.”

“Good.” Taka buried his face in Mondo’s chest, and, mentally, set a timer for five minutes.

Punctuality was still important, after all.

…

Heading down to breakfast, Mondo stopped him.

“Hey. Everyone’s, like- like, cool, right?”

Taka frowned. “I’m not sure how you mean.”

“Like-“ Mondo ran a hand through the bottom section of his hair. “Uh. Are we gonna, like… be out in there?”

“Out how?”

“Like-“ he gestured with his hand between the two of them. “Out. As a couple.”

Taka froze, eyes wide. Oh. “Are- are you saying we’re a couple?”

“Are you- I mean, do you not want that?” Mondo asked, suddenly visibly nervous, voice raising.

Shoot. “I- yes, of course I do, I just- I hadn’t realized- we hadn’t discussed it,” Taka said, face hot.

Mondo stared blankly at him. “Bro, do you want me to remind you what we-“

“No, no, I recall.” Vividly, he didn’t say out loud, but Mondo’s smug expression indicated that he got it. “I just- I was afraid of asking, and I didn’t want to assume, but… verbal confirmation is- is good! I am- I am interested in entering a relationship with you!”

Mondo snorted, the sound less mocking and more fond. “I’m also, uh, ‘interested in a relationship’ with you, bro.”

A stupid smile made its way onto Taka’s face, stretching his cheeks to the point of ache. “Very cool.” He tilted his head, considering. “As for your original question, then… I suppose it comes down to your personal comfort? I certainly wouldn’t be opposed, but if it’s important to you to keep it on the down-low, as they say, I’m game.”

Mondo nodded shakily. “Uh- yeah, I- I mean, I don’t wanna go back to acting like I hate you and shit, obviously.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” Taka glanced at the cafeteria doors, before coming upon an idea. “What if we go halfway?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t say anything, but- but don’t deny it, either. Let people draw their own conclusions.”

Mondo nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds fuckin’ perfect. You’re real smart when you aren’t all preoccupied with that stick up your ass, y’know that?”

“As I recall,” Taka said carefully, “the issue was somewhat reversed-“

“Okay, time to go to breakfast!” Mondo power-walked towards the cafeteria, stifling laughter. Grinning, Taka followed.

They were still laughing when they entered the cafeteria. From the farthest table from the entrance, Hina openly gawked at them, glancing around as if to verify that the few people who had beaten the two of them to the dining hall - Sakura, Kyoko, and Celeste, that is - were seeing what she was seeing.

“Bro, sit tight and I’ll grab us something to eat.” Mondo turned to head to the kitchen.

“You don’t have to do that!” Taka protested. “I would be happy to-“

“Just lemme do something nice for you, okay?” Squeezing Taka’s shoulder in what could theoretically have been passed off for a platonic gesture had it not lasted just a second too long, Mondo headed into the kitchen. Taka touched the place where Mondo’s hand had been, heart pounding even still.

Hina rounded on Taka. “What’s happening?”

Taka feigned ignorance, looking at her with a puzzled expression. “Mondo offered to get the two of us food. Really, Hina, I’m not sure why you’re surprised, breakfast is the most important meal of the day-“

“That’s not what I meant!” Hina interrupted, wide-eyed. “What’s going on with you guys? Just yesterday you looked ready to beat the shit out of each other!”

“Language,” Taka chided. “We shared a unique bonding experience, and decided to put aside our differences in the name of friendship.”

Hina made eye contact with Sakura, seeming to be asking a silent question. Sakura shook her head.

“Right,” Hina deadpanned, turning her attention back to Taka. “You guys seem like real good friends.”

From the other table, Celeste piped up. “You must understand, Taka, that your behavior is… highly irregular. You are nearly always the first to show up to the dining hall, so, to arrive late - with Mondo Owada, no less - is… odd.” Her eyes glinted. “People might get ideas.”

Taka felt vaguely uncomfortable pinned under her stare, but he offered a bright smile and stared right back. “Not a clue what you mean, Celeste! I appreciate the concern, but I think Mondo and I will be just fine.”

Let it never be said that Kiyotaka Ishimaru couldn’t master the fine art of passive-aggression. It had been a long road, filled with heartache and turmoil and a lot of not understanding what was apparently obvious, but, as Celeste’s lips pressed into a thin line, he finally understood why it had all been worth it.

Hina, who had been whispering excitedly to Kyoko during this interaction, let out a snort at his words. She glanced at him, eyes issuing a message that was clearly supportive but otherwise entirely indecipherable.

Taka just smiled back.

“Hey, bro!” Mondo came out of the kitchen, setting a tray down on a table to thread an arm around Taka’s waist and playfully knock their heads together. “You ready to eat, or…?”

Wow, he was way less subtle than Taka had expected. Thank god. “Exceptionally so, thank you!”

At that moment, as the couple were moving to sit down, Hifumi Yamada walked in, followed closely by Chihiro Fujisaki. Hifumi immediately made a beeline over to Celeste’s side, who whispered something to him that prompted him to run off towards the kitchen. Chihiro, meanwhile, sat down at a table alone.

“Hello, you two!” Taka said, waving. Chihiro waved back, and Hifumi turned around to give a quick “hello!” before returning to his task. 

“So…” Taka glanced over at Mondo. “Last night, you mentioned having a dog, is that correct?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Mondo seemed to relax, clearly glad that they were slipping back into a similar dynamic. Taka figured that, for all the guy’s new bravado, this was likely absolutely terrifying. “What about him?”

As Taka spoke, he was vaguely aware of Chihiro leaning over and whispering something to Sakura, eyes still on Mondo and Taka. Sakura whispered something back, and Chihiro’s eyes lit up.

His classmates were all so nosy.

By the time Makoto had come in, they were fully comfortable, laughing and joking and not even pretending that they weren’t holding hands under the table. Taka was fully sure that everyone hated it, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care when Mondo looked so happy to be next to him.

As soon as breakfast was done, they stumbled out of the dining hall together, Mondo trying to drag Taka into a run and Taka digging his heels into the ground and shouting about how “killing game or no, it’s still unsafe to run in the halls!”

“C’mon,” Mondo begged, “I don’t want our dumbass friends following us.”

Taka eyed him quizzically. “Why would they?”

“Because they think we’re gonna make out, now come on!”

“Wait, are we-?”

“Come on!”

Taka didn’t run. But he did skip. A little. Mondo seemed to think it was cute, so there was no loss.

They found themselves in the hallway outside the library, empty and darkened and far enough away from the others that they weren’t particularly stressed about being caught. True to his word, Mondo wasted no time pinning Taka against the wall and kissing him like his life depended on it.

Taka had read up on love. He understood the phases of it, at least well enough to recognize that this current over-the-moon feeling wouldn’t be permanent. He wouldn’t spend every day of his life nearly unable to think about anything other than the fact that Mondo’s jaw had the barest hint of stubble, or that his hands were warm and rough and calloused, or that his laugh - loud and boisterous or breathless, awed, soft in a quiet moment - was probably the most beautiful sound Taka would ever hear. In that moment, though, Taka was nearly certain that he would never tire of Mondo Owada. He wanted this - in whatever form it took - for the rest of his life.

Mondo reached up a hand to thread his fingers through Taka’s hair, causing Taka to open his mouth in surprise, and Mondo responded in kind. Taka was pretty sure that the press of Mondo’s body and the wall were the only things keeping his legs from fully giving out.

The two boys were interrupted by the sound of the library door opening. Breaking apart immediately, both of them whipped around to see Byakuya Togami, staring at them blankly.

“Uh- we-“ Mondo looked to Taka, begging him to save them, but Taka was probably the more horrified of the two (he was meant to be an example for the masses, not some schoolboy making out with his boyfriend of less than a day in the public hallway) and could only stare back at Byakuya.

Slowly, deliberately, Byakuya turned on his heel and walked back into the library, shutting the door behind him. Mondo and Taka turned to look at each other, terrified and confused.

“That,” came a voice from the door, “was an invitation to take your recreational activities elsewhere. You have about thirty seconds to clear out before I open this door again, and if you haven’t left, you’ll regret it.” A moment of pause. “Also, if you see Makoto, ask him if he takes checks.”

Mondo’s eyes flicked from the door to Taka. “Uh, listen, bro, I know you said no running-“

Taka grabbed his hand and bolted.

They wound up just going back to Taka’s room to avoid more awkward interactions, laying on the bed and finally feeling safe enough to burst into laughter.

“Of all fucking people,” Mondo wheezed, “we had to get caught by Byakuya Togami.”

“In fairness-“ Taka waited to stop giggling before continuing. “In fairness, we really should have thought it out a little better. He’s always in there.”

“Can’t a man kiss his boyfriend in private?” Mondo collapsed dramatically against the bed, laughter still evident in his words.

“You’re in private now,” Taka pointed out.

Points for logic.

Almost a half hour later, they were sprawled out against the bed, lips swollen and faces pink. Taka’s heart pounded in his chest so loud that he was certain Mondo could hear it. He reached over and grabbed his boyfriend’s hand, and a wave of aching affection spread through him.

“Hey, I, uh-“ Mondo turned to look at him. “I’ve got something I need to tell you.”

Taka didn’t sit up, but he turned his attention to Mondo. “What is it?”

“I- god, fuck, this is gonna sound- I’m gonna get us out of this, okay? Like, I was already gonna find an escape route, but- but there’s no fucking way I’m letting you stay here, alright? Minute I crack this nut, we’re outta here.”

The words hit Taka squarely in the chest. “Do you mean it?”

“Hell yeah, I do!” Mondo squeezed his hand tightly. “When a man makes a promise-“

“He keeps it, I know,” Taka finished, feeling his eyes prickle with tears. “I just- that’s incredibly sweet of you, Mondo.”

“Yeah, well…” Mondo reached behind him to scratch at the flush spreading across the back of his neck. “I mean it. I’m gonna make damn sure that we have a future together.”

A future together. Taka nearly burst into sobs. He was certain that, despite his long record of perfect test scores and prize-winning projects and other various scholastic achievements, he’d never been happier than he was in this exact moment. 

“Bro?” His voice came out softer than he’d expected.

“What’s up?”

“I- I like you very, very much.”

To Taka’s surprise, Mondo didn’t laugh. Instead, he rolled over and pulled Taka close, the fabric of his shirt soft against Taka’s cheek. “I like you too, bro. A lot.”

“Good.” Taka bit his tongue from keeping something bigger from coming out. He’d only gotten on good terms with Mondo yesterday, he knew that it wasn’t time to pop out things like ‘love’.

They had time for that. They had all the time in the world. The thought settled happily into Taka’s chest. All the time in the world, to be with Mondo Owada. What a concept.

They spent the rest of the day together, talking and laughing and doing a fair amount of kissing. Then, suddenly, Monokuma came on the intercom and called everyone to the dining room, and the next motive was introduced.

Taka crumpled his slip of paper and didn’t say anything. He wasn’t going to kill, so it frankly wasn’t relevant.

Mondo, on the other hand, seemed fine. “It’s nothing, bro. We’re all good.”

After dinner, Taka moved to depart for his room with a quick “good night, Mondo!”

“Hey- hey, wait!” Mondo grabbed his arm, face flushing. “You- uh- you don’t wanna come back with me?”

Taka blinked. “Mondo, staying in the room of the boy that I am romantically entangled with is indecent.”

Mondo furrowed his brow. “Dude.”

“What?”

“You wanna talk about indecent after last-“

“Mondo!” Taka interrupted, face flushing. “We’re in public.” He straightened his jacket. “You make a solid point, but, if anything, that’s all the more reason to keep it PG until further notice.”

“PG-13,” Mondo corrected. “We did shit today that would bump it up.” He was smiling, though.

“Yes, yes, fine.” Taka felt his face split into a matching grin. “Good night, Mondo.”

“Good night, hon.” Mondo headed over to his room, laughing as Taka nearly fell over in surprise.

Taka vowed to kill the man next time he saw him.

…

Nothing good lasts. Not for them, anyway. 

The next day came. A body was found. An investigation was conducted. A culprit was found.

Taka stumbled into his room far past midnight, every moment disjointed and confused, wires crossed in a way that he couldn’t bear to comprehend. His hand was on the doorknob, and the door was open, and he was inside the room, but he couldn’t comprehend the fact that he had opened the door and let himself in. That was an action far too mundane and routine for what was happening. Doors should not open in a world this upside-down.

His throat was raw from screaming. His head pounded from crying. Every inch of him hurt.

He’d promised. He’d made a promise. He’d lied.

Tears slipped past Taka’s eyelashes. God, he’d never been in this much pain in his life.

“Come back,” he whispered. “Come back, come back, come back come back come back come back come back-“ he knew he sounded insane, but he just screamed into his pillow, sobbed so loudly that it hurt, and wished to never wake up. He didn’t want to wake up alone.

He should’ve stayed with him that night. He should’ve known something was wrong. He should’ve followed him to his meeting with Chihiro. He should’ve done a better job of defending him in the trial. He should’ve punched Byakuya Togami square in the face

He should have told Mondo Owada that he loved him when he’d had the chance.

Now, he would never get to.

…

Cycle 1.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru woke up with his head on another boy’s chest.

His eyes flared open, heartbreak filling him before he even remembered why. For a moment, he was disoriented, terrified. He’d been… this wasn’t right. Why was he here? How was he sleeping on…

He craned his head, heart pounding. There, fast asleep, was unmistakably Mondo Owada.

Taka burst into loud, harsh tears, grabbing hold of him and squeezing tightly, trying to prove to himself that he was really there. He didn’t know how it was possible, how he could be here after what had happened, but-

“Taka?” Mondo had blinked awake, concern immediately filling his eyes. “Bro, what’s- are you okay?”

“You’re-“ Taka sobbed into his chest. “Are you real?”

Mondo sat up, pulling Taka with him. “Yeah…? What’s-“ his face crumpled. “Oh, shit, did- did I do something wrong- Taka, can you talk to me? What happened?”

Taka just wrapped his arms around Mondo’s neck, overwhelmed. He didn’t understand how any of this could be possible.

“Okay, not- not something I did, then?” Mondo held him carefully, as though afraid he might break him, and Taka wished that he could speak right now to tell him to hold me closer please but he couldn’t so he just shook his head over and over and over, no, no, it’s not your fault, how are you here, am I dreaming?

“Okay,” Mondo said after a moment. “Let me know when you’re ready? I, uh- I’m here if you… need me, or anything.”

Taka clung to Mondo, sobbing, until he felt like he could breathe again. Finally, choking back a fresh bout of tears, he pulled away from Mondo’s shoulder. “You- you died.”

Mondo frowned, confused. “The hell are you talking about, man?”

“You-“ he didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to explain. “You died. I watched you die.”

Slowly, Mondo’s face melted into understanding. “Bad dream?”

Taka opened his mouth to argue, but… actually, that was the first explanation that had made any kind of sense to him. It had felt so real, so concrete, so detailed, but… but it was impossible. Mondo was right.

“Yes,” he said after a moment. “A horrible, horrible dream.”

“Sorry about that, man,” Mondo said. “I’ve been getting them, too. D’ya… wanna, like, talk about it, or…?”

Taka shook his head vehemently. “I just want to forget it.”

“Alright, then.” Grabbing Taka by the waist, Mondo pulled him back into the bed. “Five more minutes?”

Taka froze for a moment, but, eventually, relaxed into the embrace. It was a relatively common thing to say. Just a coincidence.

…

There was something off, and Taka could tell.

It started when Mondo slipped on his shirt. It was a mundane gesture, and it wasn’t as though Mondo had done anything special, but…

It was just exactly the way he’d done it in the dream. He opened the door the same way, too, and stepped out into the hallway exactly how he had. The deja vu was killing Taka.

“Hey.” Mondo stopped him on the way to the cafeteria. “Everyone’s, like- like cool, right?”

Taka’s heart dropped into his stomach. “What did you say?”

“Like-“ Mondo ran a hand through the bottom section of his hair, and Taka nearly had a panic attack. “Uh. Are we gonna, like… be out in there?”

Play it cool. It’s weird, stupid deja-vu, it doesn’t mean anything, you’re fine. “I think we can just act as we normally would, and allow people to make assumptions.”

Mondo nodded, and said something about Taka being smart, and Taka pushed the mounting horror deep down into his stomach.

This was entirely illogical. It was paranoia, it was a bad dream that he was overthinking, it was his mind warping his memories to scare him. Taka had a good memory, but it was fallible. Everything was fallible. The alternative was just insane.

That didn’t change the fact that, throughout the day, everything happened just as it had. Hina grilled him for details on his relationship with Mondo, Celeste had made the same snide remark, and Mondo had come out with the same breakfast choices and the same happy expression.

Afterwards, just as Mondo was grabbing his wrist to pull him away, Taka stopped in his tracks. “Mondo!”

Mondo turned, expression sheepish. “I know, I know, no running, but-“

“No, it’s not-“ Taka hummed in frustration. “What is happening to me?”

Mondo’s face shifted into concern, and he slipped his hand from Taka’s wrist to his palm. “This about the nightmare?”

“Yes,” Taka said, “and no. Mondo, this is going to sound impossible, but I think I may have had some sort of… prophetic dream? Everything’s the same, and it all feels so wrong, and- and I don’t know what to do because I know how this dream ends and-“

“Okay!” Mondo said, voice too loud, causing Taka to clench his hands over his ears in nearly physical discomfort. “Shit, man, sorry. Just breathe, alright? You’re here right now, and… and so am I, okay?”

Okay. Okay. Breathe.

Taka nodded after a moment. “I… yes, thank you. I apologize.”

“You don’t gotta apologize, man, you’re having a rough day.” Mondo extended a hand, and Taka grabbed it. “Alright. You think… what, fuckin’ Hiro’s rubbing off on you or something?”

“No,” Taka said stubbornly. “Maybe. I don’t- I don’t know.”

“I mean…” Mondo scratched the back of his neck. “Taka, are you sure- I don’t wanna doubt your experience or anything, but is it possible that you’re just remembering your dream different? Like, your brain making shit up?”

“That’s very possible, actually, and exactly what I thought,” Taka said. “It’s just so much, Mondo. Like- like the order that everyone came in to breakfast, and what Hina said, and-“

“Oh.” Mondo’s eyes cleared. “Yeah, Taka, I’ve been stressed out about everyone’s reactions, too.”

“What?” Taka frowned. “No, that-“

“Nah, hear me out,” Mondo said. “Dreams fucking love to revolve around shit that makes you anxious, yeah? So, uh- so maybe, if you were, like- like, worried about how they’d react-“

“I was right,” Taka interrupted.

“Yeah, well,” Mondo squeezed his hand. “Sometimes anxieties wind up coming true. And that really, really sucks, but it- it doesn’t mean I’m gonna die, Taka.”

Right. Taka forced himself to relax. No matter how many times he reminded himself, he was still acting irrationally. No one was going to die.

And, anyway, Mondo wasn’t a killer.

“You’re right,” Taka said quietly. “I- once again, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Mondo promised. “Just… c’mon, let’s hang out in mine?”

“Thank you.”

When the motive was announced, Taka told himself it was a coincidence. When his paper was the same as it had been, he told himself it was just because he knew what his darkest secret was. When he suggested they share secrets and everyone made their own separate, awkward excuses, he told himself that it made sense, he knew them, there was no way they would’ve shared.

When Mondo asked him to come over that night, though, Taka accepted without hesitation.

“Don’t go anywhere tonight, alright?” He said it like he was flirting. Like he wanted him to stay with him.

He did want him to stay. God, he did.

It didn’t help. None of it helped. Taka had known what was coming from the moment he’d woken up next to Mondo, and he’d just been too stupid and naïve to acknowledge it.

Chihiro died. Syo was revealed. Mondo was gone.

Taka screamed so loudly that his throat gave out, and no one could bear to look at him.

He’d had a chance, and he’d wasted it.

…

Cycle 2.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru woke up with his head on another boy’s chest.

Oh.

Oh, god.

Taka calmly got up, walked to the bathroom, closed the door behind him, and burst into tears. He sobbed until his breath was gone, till his chest ached, till he could barely think. Then, carefully, he cleaned his face and laid back down, wishing more than anything that he could never get out of bed again.

Taka acted like nothing was wrong through the morning and breakfast, running through it like he was fine. Inside his head, though, he was panicking, barely able to mask it with cheery smiles and “apologies, I’m a little tired”s. The minute breakfast was over, Taka choked out a quick “sorry, one moment, bathroom” before running in the direction of the gym.

Bursting in, he walked to the podium. “What’s happening to me?”

“Jeez, testy!” Monokuma didn’t waste time with the dramatic entrance, just climbing over the stand to address Taka. “Something wrong, kid?”

“Don’t play dumb!” Taka shouted. “You know full well what’s ‘wrong’, and I, for one, would very much like to be clued in!” He didn’t care that he was crying again. He didn’t care that the bear looked positively delighted. He was furious.

“Why so mad?” Monokuma asked, mock-hurt. “After all I do for you, you’d drop me like yesterday’s news over a tiny thing like this? I’m wounded! Heartbroken!”

“So you do know,” Taka said, stepping closer. “How did you do this?”

“Magician never reveals their tricks, Mr. Ishimaru!” Monokuma laughed. “But… let’s say our world breaks enough rules to snap that stick up your ass in half.”

Taka rolled his eyes, electing not to expect clarification. “Why did you do this to me? Do you want me to suffer this badly?” His eyes burned. “Why me?”

“Suffer?” Monokuma repeated, voice filled with shock. “No, no, no! This is an opportunity!”

That gave Taka pause. “How?”

“Look around, kid! You’re getting a special bonus round! A second chance, if you will! A respawn point!”

“It’s not a game,” Taka growled.

“Fine, fine, you’re no fun.” Monokuma sighed. “Use your big old genius brain for, like, a second, okay?”

Taka gritted his teeth. How did Monokuma know about that?

“You want outta this,” Monokuma continued, “and I can’t blame you. Must be tough, living out the best and the worst day of your life over and over, huh?”

“Shut up,” Taka whispered. “You did that to me. To him. You don’t get to talk about what ‘must be tough’.”

“Alright, alright! My point, dumbass, is that you’re never gonna get out of it by playing the day straight. Maybe change your strategy, bud.”

“To what end?”

“What end do you think?” Monokuma cackled. “I told you it was another chance.”

Taka’s pulse quickened. “I stop him.”

“You keep him alive,” Monokuma corrected. “How that shakes out is up to you.”

“And, if- if I do-“

“You’ll wake up next morning, spick and span, cuddling in the throes of homoerotic tension come to fruition!” Monokuma spun around, clutching the place where his heart would be. “Isn’t it just lovely? Say thank you, Mr. Monokuma!”

Taka was already running out the door, paying absolutely no attention to the bear behind him.

He could save him.

He could save Mondo. He had to, if he wanted to live past these two days.

He was going to fix things. He was going to get everything back on track.

And, then, the morning after Mondo didn’t die, Taka was going to tell him exactly how much he loved him.

He ran into Mondo on his way out of the gym, who instinctively shoved him back before realizing who it was. “There you are, man! Holy shit, you scared me.”

“Mondo!” Taka nearly collapsed with relief. Somehow, he looked so much more solid now. “I- I apologize for running, off, I just needed a moment.”

“Hey, bro, no problem.” Mondo held up his hands. “Whatever you need. Just say the word.”

Taka nearly started crying again. Instead, he just stood up on his tiptoes and kissed Mondo hard, pulling a chuckle from his lips.

“You’re in a better mood, huh?”

“Yes, I think so.” A hopeful mood, at least.

As Taka and Mondo went throughout their day, Taka started thinking. Maybe it was as simple as not making Mondo want to go to the locker room? Or making sure Chihiro didn’t ask him? Or… or maybe he could stop the motive altogether, or help Mondo through it, or… something. There had to be something.

Whatever it was, Taka needed to figure it out in the next few hours. He’d rather die than lose Mondo again, temporary or no.

After getting the motives, Taka decided to try the “keep Mondo here” strategy again, and asked if he could stay the night. They set up in Mondo’s room, Taka’s heart pounding out of his chest.

“What do you think will happen?” Taka asked, pretending nonchalance. “With the secrets, I mean.”

“Eh?” Mondo turned, disgruntled. “How d’ya mean?”

“I mean… do you think they’re going to be revealed, or do you think someone’s going to… you know, take Monokuma up on his offer?” Taka looked at the ground.

“Hey,” Mondo said gently, taking Taka’s hand. “No one’s gonna kill anybody, alright? We’re all done with that bear’s stupid fuckin’ game. Like Makoto said, remember?”

“Yes,” Taka said reluctantly, “I do. But- but what if it does happen? I mean, the only real way to guarantee safety is for everyone to follow Celeste’s orders and stay in our room’s the whole night.”

Mondo winced. “Yeah, that probably would be the safest option. Actually, though, I kinda made plans? I’ve got somewhere I gotta go around 1:45.”

Taka’s heart seized in his chest. “You can’t.”

“It’s safe, don’t worry,” Mondo said with a wave of his hand. “I’m not gonna die.”

“You can’t know that,” Taka insisted, tears pricking at the back of his eyes already. “There’s no way for you to be absolutely, one hundred percent certain that you will be okay.”

“I swear, it’s no one dangerous.” Mondo laughed, as though the thought was silly (in fairness, it kind of was). “I’ll come right back, I swear.”

“No,” Taka insisted, feeling slightly childish.

“C’mon, Taka,” Mondo pleaded. “I can’t just bail on someone.”

Taka’s fists clenched against his knees. “I- if I asked you to stay. If I didn’t have a better explanation than ‘I just have a feeling’, and I asked you to stay… Mondo, would you?”

Mondo stared at him, surprised. “You’re really worried about this, huh.”

“Yes.” Taka made direct eye contact, harsh and firm and intense, praying that Mondo understood. “Yes, I am.”

Mondo pressed his lips together, seeming to come to a decision. “Alright. I won’t go anywhere.”

Relief swept through Taka’s chest, nearly knocking him flat onto the bed. “Thank you.”

“C’mon, let’s get some sleep, huh?” Mondo grinned. “Unless…”

“Good night, Mondo!” Taka rolled over, and fell asleep to the sound of Mondo’s laughter.

He was so happy, he hadn’t remembered to make Mondo promise.

Mondo was still beside him when he woke up. For the first time, he was awake before Taka, sitting up in bed and staring at the wall.

He’d been crying.

Taka’s heart dropped.

“Mondo?”

Mondo turned to see him awake, and closed his eyes briefly. “Taka. Hey.”

“Mondo, what’s wrong?” Say it was a nightmare. Tell him he had a nightmare. Give him something.

“Nothing, bro.” Mondo’s smile stretched across a joyless face. “I’m all good.”

Chihiro was dead. Taka was an idiot. And Mondo was gone.

No matter how many times he told himself that the cycle would repeat, it didn’t hurt any less.

…

Cycle 3.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru woke up with his head on another boy’s chest.

Immediately, he sat up and started thinking. Mondo had left while Taka was asleep, right? So, maybe he could try not sleeping.

It was a solid enough plan. Taka had pulled plenty of all-nighters before, it wouldn’t be too difficult.

He poked Mondo awake.

Mondo looked down at him. “Hi.”

Even having heard it before, Taka’s heart still twisted. He wasn’t letting him go. Not this time.

As they walked towards breakfast, Mondo (again) stopped Taka. “Hey. Everyone’s, like- like cool, right?”

Taka pretended to consider the question. “I’m relatively certain that there isn’t a single straight person in our class, so I’d say we’re all good. If you’re interested in going public, so am I.” He was tired of pretending.

Mondo didn’t know that, though, and thusly looked terrified, but he nodded slowly. “I… yeah. Yeah, I do want that. Okay.”

“Okay?” Taka’s heart felt irrationally warm in his chest.

“Yeah, okay.” Mondo offered a shaky grin. “I’m still the toughest sonofabitch in this fuckin’ school, alright?”

“You certainly are!” Taka grinned, and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Don’t worry. If anyone treats us poorly, I’ll simply remind them of the school’s code of conduct, which specifically forbids discrimination on the basis of-“

“Yeah, yeah, I gotcha,” said Mondo, voice bubbling with laughter. “Just don’t try and send people off to detention, alright? I think we’d actually kill you for that.”

The word sent a harsh shiver down Taka’s spine, but he nodded, and, hand in hand, entered the dining hall.

The class’s reaction was overwhelmingly positive. Hina gave Taka a big hug and a cheery “get some!” while Celeste just offered a smile and polite congratulations. As soon as Makoto came in and heard the news, he brightened, running out straight away and yelling for Byakuya to pay up. Chihiro grinned and congratulated them, too, and Taka had to restrain himself from sweeping them up and bursting into tears.

“That went well.” They were sitting in Mondo’s bedroom, for what felt like the fiftieth time (despite being, in Mondo’s eyes, only the second).

Mondo sighed, a chuckle lingering in the sound. “Yeah. Better than I coulda guessed, not that that’s any big surprise. I think I’m just mostly relieved to have it over with, y’know?”

“I do,” Taka said, a smile tugging at the edges of his lips. “I’m glad you feel the same.”

“God, it’s kinda crazy, man.” Mondo looked up at the ceiling, face pink. “I didn’t think I’d ever…” his words seemed to die as his blush deepened and he looked away. “You’re just really fucking great, alright? Don’t be an asshole about it.”

“Me?” Taka laughed. “Never.”

“I just don’t wanna fuck this up,” Mondo said. “I’m not great at not fucking things up, but I’m making a real effort here. I want this to be something good.”

“It already is,” Taka said, trying to be reassuring even as his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. It was. Despite everything, it still was.

“I know, but I, uh… I don’t want it to stop being a good thing, is what I’m saying. I know that’s some girly shit, considering it, like, just happened, but-“

“No, I understand,” Taka interrupted, flustered. “It’s- me, as well.”

A grin slid across Mondo’s face. “Oh. Cool.”

“Indeed! It’s exceptionally cool.” Taka leaned over and kissed him, making a silent promise:

He wouldn’t need to make that confession again.

Then, in the middle of the night, Taka woke up alone.

Frantically, he sat up, eyes landing on the bathroom, praying that Mondo was there, but… no. The room was empty.

Taka closed his eyes, a tear slipping past his lashes. He was so useless.

He went to lay back down, when his eyes caught on the face of his watch.

1:57 AM.

His pulse quickened, and he started running.

He burst out of the dorm room, something in the back of his head chastising him for running and the rest of him screaming for it to shut up, and started making his way towards the stairs.

As he ran, his mind began racing, too. Hopefully, him getting there in time at all would stop Mondo from losing his temper, but maybe it wouldn’t. If push came to shove, he’d probably be have to take physical action.

Was he prepared for that?

Shaking his head, Taka ran faster. Whatever he had to do. He’d do anything to save Mondo’s life.

Anything.

He burst open the door to the locker room, a “wait!” already pushing through his lips, just in time to see Chihiro fall.

For a moment, time slowed. The sound died on Taka’s tongue. Mondo’s face went from angry to shocked to horrified to heartbroken in a split second. The world broke, and reformed, and broke again, all in the span of a second.

Taka had known that it had happened. But to see it was so, so different.

Mondo looked up, horror mounting. “T- Taka, what’re you- you shouldn’t be-“ he looked down. “Oh, god. Oh, fuck, oh- oh god. I didn’t- I-“ his breathing increased, and he swallowed hard, and his shoulders began shaking. “Taka, I- I didn’t-“

Taka was already crying, too. There was so much blood, and Chihiro was right there, and he was losing Mondo again, and it was all his fault. He’d failed.

“I’m so sorry,” he sobbed, running to Mondo and grabbing him by the arms. “I’m so- I’m so sorry.”

Mondo didn’t have the consciousness to ask what Taka was sorry for. Instead, he just collapsed beside Chihiro.

Taka wanted to die.

Chihiro was dead. Mondo was gone soon after.

…

Cycle 6.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru woke up with his head on another boy’s chest and immediately started thinking.

He’d tried pulling an all-nighter twice more, but it wasn’t in the cards. After he’d woken up too late for the third time, he had to accept that one part of the time loop was that, if Taka stayed in a room, he would fall asleep. That was a fixed event, like them going to breakfast or the motive.

So, then, he was going to come at it from a different angle. If Mondo was going to be a stubborn baby about it, he was going to have to find someone who was less of a stubborn baby about it.

After the motive was revealed, Taka made a beeline for Chihiro.

“Hello!” He extended a hand, before realizing that that was probably for first meetings only and awkwardly retracting it.

“Um. Hi, Taka.” Chihiro looked up awkwardly (blood staining their face, frozen in eternal shock, strung up against the wall-). “Need something? I was actually gonna go talk to someone, so…”

“I’m simply checking in! It’s been a relatively stressful day, given recent developments, so I just want to make sure everyone’s doing alright!” Taka feigned interest. “You mentioned wanting to talk to someone? Can I ask who?”

“Uh… yeah, sure.” Chihiro smiled quickly, still clearly slightly uncomfortable. “It’s Mondo.”

“Oh!” Taka forced a smile. “What about?”

“I… I want to ask to train with him?” Chihiro flushed. “I know it’s stupid, I just-“

“Oh.” Taka pursed his lips, desperately thinking about how to play this. “That… normally, I’d say that’s an excellent idea, but I don’t- I don’t know if the two of you would be compatible, per se?”

Chihiro frowned. “What does that mean?”

What did that mean? If it weren’t for everything that Taka knew about what was going to happen that evening, he would’ve said that Mondo and Chihiro would be great influences on each other. It was, all things considered, an empty statement. “Um. Just that I think nerves are a little raw tonight, what with the secrets, and all, and… he doesn’t look it, but Mondo’s a little upset, and…”

“I’m not going to bother him about it. He seems like the type of guy who’d want something to take his mind off of things, right?” Chihiro looked nervous, disagreeing with a fellow classmate, but they stood their ground.

“I- yes, but-“

“You don’t think I can handle it, right?” Chihiro looked down. “You think he’ll push too hard, and I’ll get hurt or something.”

Taka was practically scandalized. “Is that the impression I give off? That I doubt your strength? Chihiro, I believe that you can do absolutely anything you put your mind to!”

“Great!” Chihiro said, smile returning. “Then we don’t have a problem.”

Chihiro asked Mondo to come. Taka wasn’t able to make either stay. Chihiro died. Mondo was gone.

…

Cycle 9.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru stifled a scream of frustration as he woke up with his head on another boy’s chest.

He’d been foolish to expect anything less than bull-headed stubbornness from Chihiro. He’d tried inviting them to train with him instead, convincing them to wait a day, and, in the last cycle, just insulting them. He wasn’t proud of it, but he’d hoped that maybe it would scare them out of trying.

It didn’t. They’d just gotten more determined, and had probably died thinking that Taka was right.

There was nothing he could do to keep Chihiro from going to Mondo, short of actually kidnapping them, which was amoral and probably would be ineffective (it wasn’t like there was anywhere he could keep them). There was also nothing he could do to keep Mondo from going to visit Chihiro, because the split second Chihiro asked and Mondo promised was the second that Taka lost him.

So, what, then? There was no way to protect them? Mondo was just predestined to kill and to destroy and to die?

“Hey, Taka,” came a sleepy mumble from beside him. Mondo had one eye cracked open, a smile spreading across his face, already rolling over to capture Taka into his arms.

He couldn’t keep doing this.

“You okay?” Mondo tilted his head over to look at him.

Taka just buried his face deeper into Mondo’s shoulder. “May I make a… somewhat out of character request?”

Mondo pulled back to look at him. “Yeah, bro. What’s up?”

“Would you mind if we stayed here for today?” Taka’s voice snagged on its way out. He knew it was an irrational request - not to mention a useless one - but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go out and face the others, knowing where it was going. He couldn’t sit down and eat the same breakfast and have the same conversation and follow the same pattern. He wanted one day with Mondo before he died and Taka had to do it all over again.

So, they did. The two boys spent the day in that room, speaking softly and teasing one another and laughing, and Taka tried so hard to forget what was coming. He couldn’t stop it, not this time. He wasn’t sure he had the energy to try.

“Hey, uh, Taka?”

“Yes?” Taka glanced over at him, a genuine smile on his face for perhaps the first time in that loop.

“I’m gonna get us out of this.” Taka’s heart seized at the words, and Mondo immediately turned pink. “I mean, it’s not like I was just gonna twiddle my thumbs while the others looked for an escape anyway, but- no fucking way do I let you stay in this damn place, got it? I promise.”

Taka tightened his lips. Maybe, this time, or next time, or the time after that, Mondo would mean it.

…

Cycle 13.

Taka pulled his head away from another boy’s chest and stood up, stretching. He’d stayed in the room - whether with Mondo the whole time, or, in one case, alone as he gave Mondo the ‘okay’ to look around and socialize - for the past four cycles. Now, it was time to get up. 

He had watched Mondo die twelve times. He had the sound he made as he was dragged away memorized (he absent-mindedly made it quietly in the back of his throat: not a scream, or a sob, or a sudden final word, but a whimper half-caught between surprise and terror, the sound of a boy who had suddenly realized what ‘I deserve to die’ really meant). He knew exactly the timing of the execution. He had every flashing light, every cheerful ding, every bloodcurdling scream entirely committed to his head.

He played it, over and over, even when Mondo was still warm and solid and alive beside him. It wasn’t getting easier. He wasn’t sure he wanted it to. He was terrified of that moment, of the moment that he watched Mondo die and felt nothing. He vowed not to get to that place.

“You’re up early.”

“Yes!” Taka injected false enthusiasm into his voice as he turned to look at Mondo. “I find it’s always best to start a day bright and early, regardless of the company! If we are to continue staying the night together, you’re going to have to get used to that, bro!”

Mondo snorted, an incomprehensibly fond sound that sent warmth to Taka’s chest. “You’re not tired? We stayed up pretty late, dude.”

God, that was right. After so many repeats, it felt like the actual night - in the sauna, and, then, out of it - was an eternity ago. Taka felt a fresh blush spread across his cheeks at the thought.

“All the more reason to make an early start today! We can’t make a habit of confusing our sleep schedules, bro.” Flashing a grin that he didn’t feel, he reached out a hand. “Come on. Get dressed, and let’s start the day.”

Taka had been mostly forced to accept the fact that, until a better idea to stop him presented itself, Mondo was getting into that room with Chihiro. It was a messy, unfortunate truth, but… well, Mondo was a good person in a truly infuriating way, and would rather die than go back on a promise once it was made.

So, he’d have to fix things a little more in the moment. That was fine. He could do that.

Late that evening, Taka went to his own room rather than sleeping with Mondo. Then, at 1:30 in the morning (just to be safe), he got up.

The locker room offered fairly slim pickings for hiding spots. In the end, he just crouched behind a locker and waited.

Taka prided himself on his moral code above all else. It was how he’d found success, time and time again. It was how he’d gotten into this school. He owed nearly everything to his sense of right and wrong. That being said, he could pretty concretely say that what he was doing now - waiting to eavesdrop on what he knew was a deeply private conversation - was wrong. Granted, he also knew how completely the ends justified the means, but that rarely was allowed to matter, as far as he was concerned. Hurting people for the greater good was still hurting people.

However, Mondo had died twelve times. Taka would do nearly anything to prevent a thirteenth.

Chihiro came in, and, a few minutes later, so did Mondo. Taka tensed, preparing himself.

He tried hard not to listen to their conversation. He was already committing an incredible breach of privacy, and refused to make it worse by listening to Chihiro pour their heart out. Mondo had already told everyone what happened. Multiple times, although only Taka remembered it as such. That was enough for him.

When Mondo raised the dumbbell, Taka was ready. He leapt out of hiding, hands raised, heart pounding…

And missed. His hand brushed the edge of Mondo’s coat as he swung.

Chihiro’s body hit the floor.

Mondo turned to see Taka, eyes filling with horrified tears.

Taka screamed.

Chihiro was dead. Mondo was dead. Taka might as well have joined them.

Instead, he woke up with his head on another boy’s chest.

…

Cycle 14.

This time, Taka’s hand only grasped air.

He woke up on another boy’s chest.

…

Cycle 15.

He tripped on his way out of the hiding spot, and didn’t make it.

…

Cycle 16.

He wasn’t strong enough to pull Mondo’s arm away, despite finally having caught it.

…

Cycle 17.

He couldn’t do it.

…

Cycle 18.

He failed.

…

Cycle 19.

Mondo killed Chihiro in front of him, and there was nothing he could do.

When the votes came in, Mondo just looked defeated. His eyes met Taka’s from across the circle, and, deliberately, he mouthed “I’m sorry.”

Taka lost it.

“Why? Why do you keep doing this? Why can’t you just- just stay for once? Why are you so- so- so fucking stupid?” Taka screamed, throat raw, heart pounding in his chest, tears streaming down his face. “Why do you keep killing them, Mondo? Why can’t I stop you? Why can’t anything keep you from- god, do you want to stop at all? What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with me? Tell me! I don’t understand! I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I-“ he cut off with a frustrated sob. “Just don’t go.”

Mondo stared at him, eyes wide. “I- I didn’t…” his eyes dropped, filling with tears. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I kill everything I touch. I don’t- I’m sorry, bro.” His fist clenched against the podium. “I’m sorry, Daiya.”

Oh.

Mondo left to be executed. Taka screamed like it was the first time.

…

Cycle 20.

He wasn’t strong enough to stop Mondo. But maybe he could keep Chihiro out of arm’s reach.

When Mondo started swinging, Taka ran for Chihiro, crashing into them and pushing. Chihiro stumbled against a locker, looking up in surprise, and Taka fell hard against the bench.

Time slowed. Taka’s breath came fast in his lungs. He looked up to see Mondo’s face.

It looked as though he couldn’t even see what was in front of him. Rage caught his eyes on fire, rage and self-loathing and guilt, the mistakes of a lifetime finally catching up to him. He looked like a monster. Like a killer.

In the back of his mind, Taka wondered whether things would be different if anyone had ever tried to help him.

Then, the dumbbell swung down, and white-hot pain exploded in Taka’s head, and Mondo came back to himself in time to scream, and there was nothing else to think.

…

Cycle 21.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru woke up with his head on another boy’s chest. Behind his eyes, he could still see Mondo’s face before he killed him.

He stood up, and, careful not to disturb Mondo, made his way back to his room. He curled up in bed, completely expressionless, voice dead on his tongue, and shook so hard that the entire bed vibrated until he fell into a half-sleep.

He felt dead.

Chihiro died. Mondo died. Taka didn’t stop it. He’d tried so hard, over and over, and he was just so tired. Tired, and scared, and heartbroken so many times that his heart felt more like scar tissue than love.

He loved Mondo. He still loved Mondo, after everything.

He just needed a day.

…

Cycle 22.

Another day.

…

Cycle 23.

He wondered if he screamed and begged as Mondo died because he felt it, or because it was what he was supposed to do.

…

Cycle 26.

Mondo, underneath him, looked the same as he had every cycle before. Like a doll, positioned just so before Taka woke up.

Taka went into his room and stayed again.

…

Cycle 30.

Taka laid awake in bed until Mondo stirred underneath him. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe he hoped that hearing his voice would fix something, make him able to get up and keep going.

Mondo looked at him, eyes impossibly fond. “Hi.”

Taka screamed.

…

Cycle 34.

Taka went into his room again, but, after washing his face and changing into new clothes (he felt like he’d been wearing the same set for months, despite it not really working like that), he went down to breakfast. Mondo caught him in the cafeteria.

“Hey.” He looked nervous. “I- uh- I just wanted to check if you were… like, if you were fuckin’ cool, man.”

“I’m fine.” The first words he’d said in cycles. Flat, and cracked, and broken.

“You don’t sound fine.” Mondo looked down, lips tight. “Look, dude, if I did something, I just-“

Taka stood up and went back to his room.

…

Cycle 38.

When Mondo fell under suspicion, Taka didn’t speak. He didn’t have the energy to keep up the charade, anymore. He didn’t have the breath to keep begging him to stay.

He wouldn’t. They both knew he wouldn’t.

Taka still voted for himself, though. Force of habit, maybe. Or his own idiocy, for falling too hard and too fast and never being able to get away from it.

“Taka?” Hina looked at him in confusion. “Why would you do that?”

Mondo was staring at him. Too tired to explain, Taka just stared back.

I’m going to love you for the rest of time. I’m sorry for that.

“Alright, he’s confessed, we voted, it’s all done.” Taka’s voice barely sounded like his own anymore. “We know it was him. Can we move on now, or do you plan to drag this out further?”

“‘Scuse me?” The bear played confused well, but Taka could hear the delight in his voice. He didn’t care.

Taka sighed. “Can you just execute him, please? I’d like to go to bed.” He’d be there in the morning, to do it all over, so it didn’t matter.

Mondo looked up, and, for the first time in a long time, Taka was left out of breath.

He looked so betrayed. So guilty. Heartbroken, and resigned, and so goddamn understanding. Like he thought he deserved it.

You don’t. You don’t deserve any of this. I’m so sorry, I don’t mean it, I just… I just…

Taka didn’t say another word. He wasn’t sure he could.

He was crying.

…

Cycle 39.

Taka lay awake in his room, replaying that moment over and over. He’d just felt so numb, so exhausted, so bored of the game Monokuma was playing with him, so ready to start it over and spend another day staring at the ceiling.

He’d done that to Mondo, because he was bored of watching him die. Because it hurt, and he didn’t want to feel it again, and… and because he knew how this part went. It was like an unpleasant bit of a movie he’d watched over, and over, and over, and he’d just wanted to skip it.

Mondo had been dying - really, and truly, and concretely - and he’d just wanted to skip it.

Taka sat up. It was around 4:00 PM. Maybe not enough time to fix things in this cycle, but enough to start trying again.

He pulled the door open, and nearly slammed headfirst into Mondo’s chest.

Mondo’s hand was up, as though ready to knock. As he saw Taka, his hand went down, awkwardness filling his stance. “Um. Oh. Hi.”

Taka blinked. “How long were you standing there?”

“A… reasonable amount of time?” Mondo offered.

Taka frowned. Mondo had never knocked on his door, but loops didn’t change. Presented with the same scenario, every time, Mondo did the same thing. Taka had been alone in this room for too many cycles to count, now.

The image of Mondo, staring at the closed door, preparing to knock, before giving up and leaving entered Taka’s head unbidden. Warmth stirred in his chest, faint and sharp and painful.

“Come in?” Taka asked, trying to sound normal.

“I- yeah.” Mondo stepped into the room, and Taka closed the door behind him. “Yeah. Sorry about…”

“Don’t apologize.” Taka winced. He was out of practice with casual conversation. His mind felt scattered, somehow. Nervous. “What did you come here for?”

Mondo looked at his feet, shuffling slightly. “Um. I mean, you kinda- fuck, uh- you left? And that’s- that’s fine if that’s what you wanted, but- I just- I got worried, and then you weren’t at breakfast, and- I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t seem like a one night stand kinda guy, I guess, especially since- I mean, I thought we kinda- we did a lotta talking, too, so it felt- felt like more than that, and then you just-“ he cut himself off, face flushed. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Okay?”

Taka stared at Mondo. He’d been stressing about whether or not Taka actually liked him. He’d been worried that Taka didn’t care.

He might’ve been right, for whatever small, horrible second.

Taka looked at the boy that he’d fallen in love with, alive and here and real, and tackled him into a hug, sobbing into his chest.

“Whoa! Oh- oh shit, dude, I, uh- I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“I’m sorry,” Taka mumbled into his shirt. “I’m so sorry.”

“I- hey, hey, it’s- it’s okay,” Mondo said. “I didn’t- fuck, I’m such an asshole. I didn’t mean to make you feel like shit, or anything, I just wanted-“

“I know.” Taka looked up. “I’m… I’ve had a really, really difficult morning, but it isn’t your fault. You’re the first good thing to happen.”

Mondo’s brow creased in sympathy. “Nightmare?”

“Something like that.”

Mondo held him close again. “Okay. I’ll protect you, alright? Don’t sweat it. I’m gonna keep you safe, and… and, then, I’ll get us out of here. Together.”

“Do you mean that?” Taka asked softly. “Do you really, really mean it?”

“Yeah, dude, of course I do.”

He’d said that last time, though.

“What if you don’t?” Taka couldn’t disguise his own bitterness. “What if you leave, and I’m left alone, and there’s- there’s nothing I can do to protect you? What if you choose something else?” He sounded like a whiny child, but he had to hear it from Mondo. Had to believe it.

“Never,” Mondo said fiercely. “Never in my right mind, Taka, you gotta believe me.”

“Promise me,” Taka said firmly. “Promise me that, no matter what, we’ll make it out together.”

Mondo nodded against Taka’s head. “Yeah. I promise.”

Taka relaxed. “Then I promise, too.”

Mondo didn’t survive that cycle, but Taka woke up hopeful. They were going to get out. He was done giving up.

…

Cycle 40.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru woke up with his head on another boy’s chest. He snuggled closer, so happy to feel safe there again that he forgot, for however short an amount of time, that he was on a schedule.

He was pretty sure Mondo could tell that there was something wrong - Taka couldn’t shake the lead on his tongue or the ache in his chest, not that easily - but, perhaps for Taka’s comfort, he played dumb throughout breakfast. Meanwhile, Taka was stuck strategizing. He was, at this point, nearly convinced that this whole loop had been a trap. There was no world in which his luck was this bad, over and over. Monokuma had Mondo trapped, inescapably fated to kill Chihiro. It had to be Monokuma. Nothing else made sense. So, to beat him, he had to play by different rules.

After breakfast, Taka led Mondo through the hallways (away from the library, so as to avoid the Byakuya debacle that seemed so long ago) and took him to a stairwell. Private, and, if the last dozens of loops were any indication, left empty for the day.

“Mondo, may I make something of a selfish request?” Taka asked, hands busy fidgeting with his boyfriend’s coat.

“Yeah, bro, what’s up?”

“Would you mind staying by my side for the next few days? If you need to go somewhere, that’s fine, but I want to come with you.” He’d tried sneaking. He’d tried getting Mondo to stay. But he’d never tried sitting in on the conversation.

Mondo smiled, ruffling Taka’s hair affectionately. “Can’t get enough of me, huh?”

“You’re irresistible,” Taka deadpanned. “I’m serious.”

“Yeah, I got it.” Mondo nudged him. “Hey. Absolutely, alright? Anywhere you go, I go, too. Promise.”

Taka sighed happily. Internally, he prayed that Mondo meant it.

That night, he took Mondo up on the offer to stay over. Sitting on the bed beside him, Taka took his hand.

“What’s your secret?”

Mondo stiffened. “Huh?”

“I know it’s something of an insensitive question,” Taka said hastily, “but I think it helps to talk about it. You seem upset.”

Mondo pulled his hand away. “It’s nothing. It’s not a big deal.”

“Please, Mondo,” Taka begged. “It isn’t healthy to keep it bottled up.”

“No,” Mondo insisted. “Drop it, bro. Seriously.”

“I just-“

“Taka!” Mondo whipped his head around, eyes burning. “Shut the fuck up!”

Taka stiffened, heart pounding, and Mondo immediately seemed to come back to himself.

“I- fuck, dude, I’m so- shit.” He slumped, eyes dropping to the bedsheets, hunching in on himself.

“It’s alright.” Taka took a deep breath. “Have you ever considered looking into therapy? Or some kind of anger management program?”

Mondo gave him a wry smile. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that after we escape this death prison.”

“Do you promise?” Taka asked, voice sincere.

Mondo blinked. “Uh. Yeah. If I can figure out money shit, then yeah, I promise.”

Taka nodded. “Good.” He placed his hand between them, not reaching for Mondo’s but offering it. “You don’t have to tell me. But I’m here, alright? For whatever you need.”

Mondo’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah. I’m here for you, too, bro.”

This time, he didn’t fall asleep. When Mondo sat up around 1:45 to get out of bed, Taka sat up with him.

“Where are you going?”

Mondo turned, wincing. “Gotta do something, bro. Be right back, okay?”

“You said we could stay together,” Taka said firmly. “I’m coming with you.”

“You can’t, dude. This is a private thing.” Mondo turned. “Just get some rest, alright? I’ll be right back.”

Taka hated doing this to Mondo, but… “You promised.”

Mondo stopped walking. “Sorry?”

“You promised me. You made… you made a man’s promise. That means something.” Taka stood up. “Let me come.”

Mondo closed his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. C’mon.”

Taka followed Mondo to the locker room, heart in his throat. Mondo looked at him pleadingly.

“Can you, like, stay outside?”

“Mondo.”

“Fine, fine,” Mondo grumbled. “Just an idea.” He pulled out his e-Handbook, only to frown as it wouldn’t swipe. “Huh. Shit must be busted.”

“I’ve got mine,” Taka said smoothly. “I think there are a few in the foyer if you want to check.”

Mondo nodded, and stepped out. Taking a deep breath, Taka swiped his handbook and walked in.

Chihiro opened their mouth to greet him, but stopped when they realized who was there. “T- Taka? I’m… sorry, uh- I was kinda-“ they froze. “You… you weren’t supposed to see me in here.”

“It’s fine,” Taka said. “I’m here with Mondo.”

Chihiro’s eyes widened. “He was supposed to come alone.”

“I wouldn’t let him,” Taka admitted. “I’m terribly sorry to have intruded, but I feared for his safety.”

Chihiro nodded. “No, I… I get it.” They looked up at him, suspicious. “You’re not gonna ask…?”

“Frankly, I didn’t think it was any of my business.” He sat down next to them. “But you’re free to share.”

“I… I wanted to tell everyone anyway, I- I guess, so…” Chihiro sighed. “If you’re here, you’re here. Let’s wait for Mondo.”

While Taka waited, he packed up every dumbbell, every weight, every conceivable makeshift weapon, and piled them into lockers. Chihiro raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

If Taka had his way, Mondo wouldn’t be attacking at all. But it didn’t hurt.

Mondo came back at around 1:52 - earlier, Taka thought, than he would have if he hadn’t been made aware of the e-Handbooks - and Chihiro explained everything. The boys sat on the floor and listened to Chihiro reveal their secret, and describe their childhood, and, finally, ask Mondo the question:

“Would you train me?”

For a moment, everything was still.

Then, Mondo lunged.

There were no words, this time, aside from screaming and raging that might have had form or sense if it hadn’t been so loud. Taka’s ears and head burned with the sound, sending jolts of panic down his spine, but he didn’t move. He grabbed Mondo from behind, and squeezed.

“You’re okay,” he whispered. “Breathe through it. You aren’t alone. I’m- I am so sorry, Mondo, I’m so sorry.”

There was no weapon. Nothing that Mondo could do except rage against Taka’s arms. Except sob into Taka’s shirt. Except stay.

Taka held Mondo, and the clock slid to 1:56. Four more minutes.

Chihiro was crying, bewildered, having pulled back to the corner. “What’s- what did you- did you try to-“

“Chihiro?” Taka looked up from Mondo. “I, uh- we’re going to talk, in just a moment. Four moments, really. But, till then… would you mind going to a different room? You can come back after 2:00.”

Chihiro, shaking, nodded. “2:00. Got it.” They bolted, and Mondo and Taka were left alone.

As the door closed, though, something shifted. It wasn’t anything truly noticeable: at most, Taka thought, the lockers might have moved a little to the left. They looked almost like a slightly different shade of blue. The lights were brighter. It must’ve been his imagination, but something felt… off.

Mondo looked around, and Taka could tell he noticed, too. “Bro, I… what the fuck happened?”

“You really do need some kind of therapy,” Taka said cautiously. He didn’t want to celebrate, but… Mondo was here. Chihiro was gone. It was almost over.

Outside, something shook.

Mondo’s eyes unfocused for a minute. “Um. Bro, you should probably… I think I need… where’s Chihiro?”

“They left,” Taka said quickly. “They’ll be back in a moment.”

“I think they should come back now,” Mondo said, face contorting in confusion. “I don’t- I don’t know- I think they should- they need to come back, now.”

Taka frowned, fear seeping in through the spaces between his ribs. “Why?”

“I don’t-“ Mondo was cut off by another shake. Wasn’t there a poster on that wall, a moment ago? “Taka? What are- what did you-“

“It’s fine,” Taka insisted. “Everything’s fine.” 1:57.

“No, it’s…” Mondo blinked. “I- this isn’t how it goes.”

Taka’s blood froze in his veins. “What?”

“This isn’t right,” Mondo said. “I don’t- I don’t do the right thing, here, I never fucking do the right thing, I can’t- this is a mistake, Taka-“

“No, it’s not,” Taka said firmly. “This is right. You don’t have to always be the bad guy, Mondo, everyone’s fine.”

“No, they’re not,” Mondo said, voice rising. “No, they’re fucking not. They’re…” His eyes cleared. “Chihiro. Chihiro’s supposed to be dead.”

Another shake. The bench was gone, and the rug with it. The room felt… smaller, somehow.

“What do you mean?” Taka forced a laugh, even as horror crawled into his throat. “Chihiro’s fine.”

“Yeah, but they aren’t- I’m supposed to…” Mondo trailed off. “Oh. Oh, god. Fuck. I… I kill them.” He looked down at Taka. “I already have… oh my god, Taka…”

“You remember?” Taka’s voice came out so small.

“Shit.” Mondo’s breath sped up. “Fuck. Shit, I… Taka, you… oh my god.”

“Then you remember how horrible it all is,” Taka said, grasping hold of Mondo’s hands. “You remember that… that you…” he teared up. “I’m fixing it. You’re okay now.”

Mondo shook his head. “Taka, you’ve gotta stop this.”

Taka stared at him, confused. “What?”

“You’ve gotta- look around, man, this isn’t… this isn’t right. This isn’t what happened.”

“But what happened is gone,” Taka argued. “That was last cycle, or… or the cycle before, or…”

“Taka,” Mondo whispered. “I know. I remember. I- fuck, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I wish I hadn’t-“

“Why?” Taka demanded. “Why are you apologizing? It’s over, Mondo, you didn’t do it, you haven’t done it anymore. Chihiro’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine.”

“Why do you think it never worked, Taka?” Mondo asked desperately. “You can’t have thought it was just sheer dumb luck that kept you from… from waking up on time, or catching me, or…”

“It was Monokuma,” Taka whispered. “He- he set this up, he messed with it-“

“No,” Mondo argued, eyes filling with tears. “Taka, nothing worked because it wasn’t supposed to.”

“You’re wrong.” Taka’s voice came out poisonous. “You’re wrong.”

“Look around, Taka.” As Mondo gestured, the racks on the walls disappeared, leaving just the two boys and the lockers behind them. “This shit isn’t right. You keep going with this, and you tear everything apart.”

“No, that… that can’t be right.” Taka shook his head. “I got it right this time. I fixed it.”

“No, no, you’re breaking everything,” Mondo said. “Whatever’s happening right now, whatever started this shit, it’s not right, it’s not real, and you- it can’t exist, Taka, not like this. We’re gonna fuck everything up.”

“Okay, so we fuck everything up!” Taka moved his hands from Mondo’s hands to his shoulders, pulling him close. “So we ruin the world. I still have you. I’m still going to have you.”

“Taka,” Mondo pleaded, reaching up a hand to cup his face. “I’m dead.”

Taka gasped out a sob, tears spilling past his cheeks, shaking his head vehemently. “No. No, you’re not.”

“I died, Taka.”

“You didn’t.” His chest felt like it was squeezing, shattering, melting, burning. A chunk of the ceiling disappeared, leaving white light behind it. The lockers were gone. 1:58.

“Taka,” Mondo said. “Taka, look at me. I’m gone. You’re… you can’t fucking do this, you can’t destroy everything just to keep a ghost, you-“

“But I will keep you?” Taka begged. “If I- if I don’t let you go?”

“You already lost me!” Mondo shouted, voice breaking. “Taka, I’m so fucking sorry, I never wanted to- I never meant to leave you, not you, but I just… I fucked up. I made a mistake, and I can’t take it back, and you can’t take it back for me.”

Taka sobbed harder, reaching up to cup Mondo’s face in turn. “I don’t want to keep going without you. I don’t want the world if it’s not with you.”

“You don’t deserve that, bro,” Mondo whispered. “You deserve to see the sun again, and- and play with dogs in the park, and sit with your friends and smile and know that you- that you earned that shit, that you can laugh and cry and breathe and fall in love- yes, Taka, look at me, fall the fuck in love, with somebody that deserves all of the incredible shit you have to give them, alright? I’m not the fucking end of your story, you can’t- you can’t fucking do that to me, please, Taka, just- don’t throw everything away for a ghost. I’m begging you. Let go of me.”

1:59. Taka closed his eyes, heart breaking again and again and again, 40 times over, hot and painful, leaking into his stomach and setting everything ablaze.

He could stay here. He could wrap his arms around Mondo and keep holding on. He could finally have what he wanted, finally have someone to stay with him, finally be with someone who accepted every piece of him.

He could stay with a ghost. A happy ending. He could give up, and take what he wanted.

But he’d promised to never give up. To work his hardest, until the bitter end. And he knew that Mondo would never forgive him if he went back on that.

He opened his eyes to stare at Mondo. The delinquent, the idiot, the asshole, the messy, wonderful, kind, funny disaster that he’d never, ever stop adoring with every piece of his broken, sealed-over, remade, reshaped, re-broken and re-mended heart, and he let tears burn tracks down his face.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Mondo seemed to understand, because his face split into a tearful smile. “I love you, too.”

His lips tasted like salt. Taka screamed as the locker room collapsed, and he clung to Mondo as the white space filled his eyes.

And, then, he stopped clinging.

…

Kiyotaka Ishimaru woke up alone to a tearstained pillow.

For a moment, he just lay there. His chest searched for more sobs, and found only emptiness.

Mondo was gone. Chihiro was gone.

But Kiyotaka Ishimaru was not.

He pulled himself out of bed. He put on new clothes. He washed his face. He took a deep breath.

He opened the door, and stepped out.

A hush fell over the cafeteria when he entered. Celeste gave him a cool, calculating look. There were sympathetic glances, and little waves.

He sat down at his usual spot, and tried to muster the courage to say something. To keep going.

Then, suddenly, from behind, there was a pair of arms. He turned to see Aoi Asahina, eyes filled with tears, squeezing tightly from behind.

“You’re not alone, you got that?” She murmured. “Not ever again.”

From his side, he felt Makoto wrap his arms around both of them. Then, after a moment, Hiro came beside them and joined as well. Sakura was next, behind Hina, and then Hifumi, having placed a cup of tea beside Celeste. Kyoko smiled ruefully and came up beside him to place a gloved hand over his, and, after a glare from half the class, Celeste sat close by and offered a half-smile that, oddly enough, seemed genuine. Makoto pulled away to all but drag Byakuya in, and Toko, grumbling about how it was “only because of Master’s involvement” but squeezing tightly enough to almost hurt, followed.

Taka broke down sobbing.

“Hey,” Makoto whispered soothingly, holding him tighter. “Hina’s right, y’know? You’re not alone.”

Out of tragedy, comes light.

Taka took a shaky breath. He deserved to have a life past this.

“Thank you,” he whispered, voice cracking. “Thank you all so, so much.”