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"Mother cannot guide you.
Now you're on your own.
Only me beside you.
Still, you're not alone.
No one is alone, truly.
No one is alone.”
Carlos never sleeps. Even before they began dating Seb noticed how horrible his sleep schedule was. He would go to bed past midnight and wake up early for Miss. Jenn’s six a.m meetings. His eye bags got darker after winter break. Even when Seb slept over Carlos still would not go to bed at a decent hour. Countless times had he watched the dancer stare up at the ceiling, waiting for sleep. Tossing and turning until it was time for Seb to complete his chores.
Well, except for tonight.
"Sometimes people leave you.
Halfway through the wood.
Others may deceive you.
You decide what's good.
You decide alone.
But no one is alone.”
Carlos was asleep before ten. Seb had to resist the urge to get up and dance when he saw his boyfriend's closed eyelids. In the same moment, Seb realized Carlos was curled into his side, under his arm. Every time he looked down Seb’s insides turned to mush. The good mush, a mush he would not complain about feeling for the rest of his life.
“Mother isn't here now.
Who knows what she'd say?
Nothings quite so clear now.
Feel you've lost your way?
You are not alone.”
Tucked under Seb’s arm, Carlos looked like a normal teenager. A normal teenager without the weight of the world on his shoulders. Just a kid, not a choregrapher and teacher therapist. If Seb could take Carlos away he would. He would do it in a heartbeat.
"Truly.
You move just a finger,
Say the slightest word,
Somethings bound to linger.
Be heard.
People make mistakes.
Mothers,
People make mistakes,
Holding to their own,
Thinking they’re alone.”
Seb stroked his boyfriend's hair with his free hand- Carlos currently had his other in a tight lock. God, he was enamored with him. He was head-over-heels in love with Carlos. So much so it physically hurt. Seb had never felt this before. The overwhelming desire to kiss or to hold a person. The fluttery feeling he got every time Carlos smiled or laughed. The amount of pride he felt when Carlos was dancing and getting to say "he's mine." He was the one that got to go home with Carlos every night. And Seb would not trade it for anything.
Because Carlos is everything.
“Honor their mistakes.
Everybody makes.
One another's terrible mistakes.
Witches can be right, Giants can be good.
You decide what's right you decide what's good
Just remember:
Someone is on your side,
Someone else is not,
While we're seeing our side.
Maybe we forgot: they are not alone.
No one is alone.
Hard to see the light now.
Things will come out right now.
We can make it so.
Someone is on your side.
No one is alone.”
Seb finished the lullaby, his voice never going above a whisper. His Grandmother used to sing it before he went to bed and before she passed away. He always dreamed of a bright future when listening to this song.
Maybe Carlos will do the same.
And maybe, just maybe, Seb is in that dream.
"Sweet dreams, my love," Seb lightly kissed the top of Carlos' head. "I love you."
"Mhm," Carlos mumbled, burying his head further into Seb's side.
He smiled, looking up at the sticky, greens stars stuck to the ceiling, "mhm."
Seb flipped the lap off.