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It was entirely unexpected and Zuko wouldn’t have tried to explain it even in his wildest dreams. He was never going to live this down, not in a thousand lifetimes and he prayed to Agni that he be struck down on the spot so he didn’t have to live with the mortification on his shoulders.
What had started the day with promise, with a sighting of the avatar’s flying bison at dawn, led them to a harbor where they docked and boarded the shore with the komodo rhinos. Uncle had accompanied him on this trip if only to stretch his legs and see the sights. Zuko scowled, attempting to ignore Uncle’s nonchalance when the avatar was nearby. The last time they had tracked him, it had been in the company of June and her Shirshu, and that had ended with as much luck as all their previous quests.
Zuko refused to think about how long it took him to regain his strength after the paralytic wore off. Uncle was absolutely no help. With the Pygmy Puma docked and protected, prepared for a swift retreat when they returned, they surged ahead and followed the trail to where the bison had landed. The avatar would not be escaping today.
….Or so he hoped.
They were forced to scour the woods in search of their quarry, and to Zuko’s dismay, the place was infested with hog monkeys and Boar-q-pine that continuously hindered their progress. His men were forced to retreat when a rampaging Boar-q-pine ploughed through the trees in their direction, followed by the howling hog monkeys that scattered to escape the animal’s rage. Zuko was forced to rush for the tree line to protect himself while uncle scattered with the other men.
He didn’t want to harm the animal because that was not what he was after, but he wouldn’t allow his men to be harmed so, as he drew in a calming breath and counted the seconds as his racing heart slowed, he filled the air with the increasing heat before a rush of flames dissuaded the beast from its charge. It didn’t work and Zuko was in the beast’s direct path. Enraged, it had shed its quills, scattering the spikes all over the terrain turning it into a lethal maze he was forced to navigate and avoid. Diving out of the way was futile.
His hands hesitated as fire filled his grasp but...he couldn’t. He refused to. His mother’s voice filled his head as she scolded him for being mean to the turtle ducks when he had demonstrated what Azula always did. Her words were an echo from his childhood and the voice that forced his fire to fizzle out. The boar-q-pine was so close and he didn’t have the time to flee. So instead, he braced himself for the pain-
A rush of cooling air blew past him as the thunderous hooves of the beast stopped. No, it didn’t stop. Zuko realized too late as the familiar weightlessness of flying suggested the reality. He opened his good eye and found the avatar standing beside him as he was carefully placed upon a safe boulder as the raging beast rushed off into the forest to flee. Dumbfounded, he stared, reminded of the conversation they had in the forest after he rescued Aang from Admiral Zhao’s custody.
Back when the airbender chose to save him in return instead of leaving him for Zhao’s men to capture and kill. When Aang professed that maybe, in another time, they could have once been friends. Good friends, and that maybe they wouldn’t be in this situation.
It took Zuko even longer to process when Aang leaned up on his toes and moved into his personal space. The subtle warmth and softness of lips on his unscarred cheek was surprising as the airbender blushed, smiled up at him and proudly proclaimed. “That’s from Katara.”
Before Zuko could even react, the avatar had jumped off the boulder as the prince stood bewildered and wide eyed, and flown off into the woods once more. Shortly after, the bison’s easily recognizable silhouette cast shadows across the clearing they stood in. Zuko’s fingers gingerly touched the spot on his cheek as his heart raced for a whole new reason, and his golden gaze darted towards the tree line.
What in Agni’s name was that for?
Katara.
The name was familiar enough. Was she the water tribe girl he traveled with? Why would she want that passed along? Why would the airbender willingly pass that along? Why did he look so pleased? That goofy grin, the soft flush on his face, the….the… the audacity!
This had to be some mind game. They were playing with him. They wanted his guard down, clearly. They got a head start. Did the little air nomad know this would happen? He had to. They got a head start and Zuko was still standing on the boulder that Aang left him on, and his men were gathered awaiting orders and Uncle was giving him a look that Zuko really didn’t want to know what it meant, but judging by the knowing smile on his face, it would be futile.
They saw.
Of course they saw. How was he even going to deal with this now? He needed to calm himself. Every breath left sparks trailing in the air. His chest heaved as he banished the image from his mind and stomped away, headed back to the komodo rhinos without another word. Uncle relayed the command for them to return to the ship as Zuko mounted the saddle and hardly even waited for his uncle to join him. The rest of the men were on their own as far as he cared, he rushed ahead.
He needed to clear his thoughts. He needed to….
What he needed was answers but the only answers he was certain to find were flying far away and he was so confused. Was this some strange water tribe culture he was missing? Or was it part of the air nomads? That would make much more sense from what research he has done on them, with them being pacifists and all, but none of those scrolls suggested kissing the enemy as a part of a cultural exchange.
Maybe it was a secret tactic, it certainly worked in giving them a head start. This was all some elaborate mind game, clearly.
Or maybe it wasn’t.
Maybe it was a challenge. He had been challenged somehow but to do what exactly?
Kissing implied something more intimate, but he couldn’t fathom why the airbender or the water tribe girl would show something so…. vulnerable towards him of all people.
That’s it. That’s their plan. It wasn’t a challenge. They were mocking him. It was a sign of his weakness that he had allowed the airbender to get so close that he could do something so humiliating and in front of all of his men on top of that. They were trying to ruin him. To expose just how weak he really was, and he was certain it would work. They already questioned him, they looked down on him with disdain and pity when they thought he wasn’t paying attention. Even Lieutenant Jee, as much as he tried to withhold his dislike since the storm Zuko had forced them into, was still judging him from afar.
Zuko didn’t need to be reminded of his failures and he didn’t need to be shown his own weaknesses either. He screwed up and this was his punishment, and now the avatar and his people had joined the rest of the world in mocking him.
The ride back to the Pygmy Puma was long and quiet as Zuko seethed silently in his saddle. Uncle had attempted to calm him with one of his ridiculous proverbs about budding trees and flowers and blooming and what does that even mean? But eventually he fell quiet when Zuko looked on the verge of combusting on the spot.
The blizzard outside was raging as if the world was punishing him once again. The cold made his aching joints hurt even more, and the tightness of the chill on his face only made the dull pain in his bruises turn into a steady throbbing through his skull. Even while taking shelter, he felt cold and pathetic when the weight of his actions hung heavy on his shoulders, even after he unloaded his burden and tied the airbender up. What would uncle think of him now? He was going to fail again. He had lost his way and he had no idea what he was doing. His only worry was keeping Zhao away from Aang but here he was once again, fumbling his way through without thinking. He had no real plan.
The warmth of a small fire could hardly keep the painful stiffness from his hands. He rubbed them together, igniting the friction with a breath of flame that tickled around them with the utmost care not to burn himself.
“I finally have you, but I can’t get you home because of this blizzard. There’s always something.” He rose from his spot and paced around to get the blood flowing. He needed to stay warm. He kept the avatar closest to the fire so he wouldn’t freeze to death, one eye cautiously turning on the boy as he observed the glowing arrow on his head.
Zuko couldn’t help but remember the moment in the forest when Aang had rescued him from the Boar-q-pine’s charge. He had shown a moment of weakness, one that he couldn’t take back. Maybe that was why his crew had turned over to Zhao, maybe that was why he was on his own now, but it had been a long time coming eventually. He was never meant to succeed. His father never intended for him to come home. Three years was a long time, long enough that Zuko had managed to learn a thing or two about survival. About trust and loyalty. About who he could let close to him and who he had to keep in his sights. Uncle Iroh was all he had through the years. He had supported Zuko through the good, but mostly the bad. Had protected him from numerous assassination attempts and attacks from pirates. Zuko had returned the gesture in kind, going out of his way for the older man, to keep him safe and to see him happy. Even when the detours were tedious and Zuko was tired and impatient. Seeing Uncle happy had always made him happy.
He wondered if uncle would still smile at him after this. Or would he turn his gaze away, ashamed of his behavior. Disappointed in his short sightedness and his failures.
Zuko’s drive had started out selfish but now, he was standing before a boy who he felt strangely about. They had rescued each other on numerous accounts, had even gone out of their way. The avatar could have gotten rid of him a long time ago. He could have let Zhao’s men take him captive but he didn’t. He could have let the raging Boar-q-pine kill him in the forest and nobody would have blinked or blamed him. He saw Zuko’s weakness, and maybe he mocked it but he never let him come to harm or left him for dead. And Zuko had repeatedly come to his rescue. He thought it was selfish pride and spite, but maybe there really was something more to all this. Some sort of hope.
If the avatar still lives, then Zuko maintains his freedom to chase him as far and as much as he pleases. If he lives, then maybe he doesn’t have to return home with father’s ridiculously high standards looming over him. If the avatar lives….the world still has hope and Zuko does as well.
These thoughts were treasonous but Zuko couldn’t help the doubt he was feeling at every turn. Ever since Aang rescued him from Zhao’s men, he knew it was Zuko behind the mask. He could have left him in the forest but he stayed with him until he was awake, even when his friends were clearly sick and needed him. He stayed and that mattered to Zuko, because the boy was so ready to call him a friend and ensure he was safe before fleeing and only because Zuko made him run. Only because Zuko wished his words could be true.
‘We could have been friends.’ The smile, though small and uncertain, had held warmth in it. The kind of warmth that gave Zuko hope and maybe he was weak and feeble for thinking that but he wanted to believe. He needed to believe it was possible.
Zuko settled back down against the cave wall opposite of Aang, and watched the feeble fire start to wane and fizzle out. He didn’t have enough kindling to keep it going and the avatar was growing cold with the blizzard’s fury growing bolder. He couldn’t let either of them freeze and Aang was out cold. Chewing on his bottom lip, Zuko made the choice with the promise that it was strictly for survival.
He rose and crossed the cramped space to settle beside Aang, dragging the avatar closer so his back was set to the wall and Aang’s back was tucked against his chest. With careful breathing exercises, he let his inner fire grow and heat the freezing cold air around them. It wasn’t much but it would keep frostbite and hypothermia from setting in. Two bodies were better than one when trying to get warm. He let his arms sag as they wrapped around Aang’s midsection and his legs outlined the young boy’s so they could stay warm as well. It was uncomfortable but necessary.
Zuko was just starting to relax a little when he could finally feel his fingers, just as a bright blue light shot into the room and struck the avatar. It took him a moment to recall that it was the spirit light, similar to the one he had witnessed in the South Pole when the avatar had awoken from the iceberg he was trapped in. His entire body went stiff as glacier ice as he waited for any sign of life. Aang drew in a breath, relaxed and tensed in his arms, testing the bindings that kept him tied up.
Zuko’s voice rasped softly in Aang’s ear. “Welcome back.”
The avatar stiffened in his arms as the heat Zuko had been painstakingly radiating started to grow cold once his concentration was broken. Aang seemed to notice this as he warily responded. “It’s good to be back.”
There was silence for a long time as the airbender shifted in Zuko’s lap as if trying to decide whether it was worth it to flee the warmth the firebender provided or not. His face turned to greet Zuko’s, eyes widening as he took in the bruised and scarred skin, still healing from the attempt on his life. Part of Zuko expected him to look away, but Aang just took in a startled breath and stared. He refused to accept that the boy looked worried for him. He didn’t need the avatar’s pity.
“Zuko-” Aang started but the prince wasn’t listening as the thought that had been on his mind for a long time finally came to light and he moved in on reflex.
He closed the gap, thinking back on the forest and how Aang had saved him from the boar-q-pine’s charge. His fingers wove together as he held the airbender’s waist close to his, the heat of his inner fire radiated stronger as their lips pressed together. Warm and chapped from the North Pole weather and its relentless icy chill. It was fueled by fire and rage, as Zuko let his inner flames burn brighter and hotter than anything before because he was not weak and he wouldn’t let a storm stop him. He wouldn’t let his hope die and he refused to be patronized and pitied by a child.
When he drew away, the heat of the kiss still clung to the younger boy’s cheeks which shifted from pink to a bright scarlet red as his grey eyes widened until they resembled saucers more than anything else.
“That’s for the water tribe.” Zuko growled. His grip on Aang lessened as they turned their attention towards the entrance as the noisy call of the avatar’s bison sounded. Aang’s blush turned to shock which quickly turned to panic as he sucked in a large gulp of air and blew himself out of the cave and into the blizzard where his friends were waiting to rescue him.
Zuko felt the heat around him quickly turn cold and unforgiving from the blast. He was a touch grateful that it wiped his own flush of embarrassment off his face once it dawned on him as to what exactly he just did. Scrambling to collect himself, he stormed after the squirming body of the airbender in the snow and prepared himself for a fight. Because this was what he was meant to do. This was his purpose and he would see it through, even if it meant he chased the avatar for the rest of his life. This was far better than the future he tried to lie to himself was waiting for him someday.