Work Text:
one night, he wakes,
strange look on his face,
pauses, then says, “you’re my best friend,”
and you knew what it was,
he is in love.
Wonwoo wakes up, blinks the bleariness out of his sticky eyes and slaps his hand on the other side of the bed, his hand coming down on the mattress with a muffled thump. Brain slowly registering that the other half of the bed is empty, but still weakly warm, Wonwoo feels a little more awake. He tosses and turns until the bones in his back pop.
Although Jeonghan is nowhere to be seen, Wonwoo can hear him singing quietly in the bathroom right next to his room. There’s no sound of water running but Wonwoo can hear the clanking of a hairbrush and a hair straightener and the sound of pots and tubes opening. Not bothering to do just as much as push his body into a sitting position, Wonwoo sinks back into the comfort of his sheets, letting the sweetness of sleep and rest wash over him like waves on the shore.
The pillow Jeonghan sleeps on smells faintly of the lavender scented shampoo and conditioner he uses, and Wonwoo snatches it and pushes his entire face into it. The limbo between sleep and being awake is no longer present and so Wonwoo results in keeping his eyes closed, body burrowed underneath a weighted blanket. Jeonghan’s blanket ends up between Wonwoo’s knees as he curls his entire body around it.
As Jeonghan starts to sing another song mid-brushing his teeth, Wonwoo starts to wonder about the boy occupying his bathroom. Wonwoo has been teetering on the edges of something more for a long time, longer than he can remember. Maybe it was his entire life. It started out slow, like a candle burning softly but then it spread into a wildfire more and more, as time went on and as Jeonghan got closer and closer. For a while, it seemed like Jeonghan had read Wonwoo through and through and was doing all of it just to spite him, just to get some sick satisfaction out of teasing your best friend who obviously feels differently about you. That wasn’t the way Jeonghan has ever been, much to Wonwoo’s initial fear of having his feelings belittled and laughed upon. Wonwoo had never asked Jeonghan what all of it meant, why he suddenly picked Wonwoo out of all 13 of them, why he nearly fist fought with Mingyu to get a hotel room with Wonwoo instead.
The answer came to him on its own, Wonwoo never had to ask.
One night, Jeonghan came over to Wonwoo’s room after a particularly gnarly nightmare, and kind of… stayed. Never left, only occasionally, for a couple of hours. Wonwoo’s room suddenly became Jeonghan’s, and with it, Wonwoo became Jeonghan’s too.
Not dating, not being anything inclusive, not having a label on the bond between them, Wonwoo couldn’t be more content. As long as Jeonghan is still there, still keeps the other side of the bed warm and lavender-scented, as long as he kisses Wonwoo goodnight like he was afraid Wonwoo wouldn’t be there the next morning, Wonwoo couldn’t be happier. It’s just them, Wonwoo and Jeonghan, friends, lovers, partners, everything between that or nothing like that at all.
It’s fun, it’s carefree and liberating, not labelling their relationship and just letting it develop on its own. It feels like floating on the sea with the sun boring its rays into your skin, that feeling of utter calmness and freedom. Wonwoo has never felt closer to Jeonghan before.
“Hey there, sleepyhead. Get your butt out of the bed,” Jeonghan walks back into the room, soft-spoken words on his lips. Wonwoo gets enveloped in the warmth of Jeonghan’s voice, fuzzy around the edges.
The bed behind Wonwoo dips with Jeonghan’s weight, who leans his torso over Wonwoo’s back, so his head is two inches away from Wonwoo’s. Jeonghan’s breath smells minty and the moisturizer Jeonghan uses tickles Wonwoo’s nose. Wonwoo wants to kiss him, his own morning breath be damned.
“It’s like… 8am.”
Jeonghan chuckles quietly and skims his fingers over Wonwoo’s back, up and down, “Wrong. It’s 10. And we’re late.”
Wonwoo didn’t know they had other plans. He fell asleep last night thinking their day is going to be all about laying in bed all day, shuffling around the dorms for a game or two or a quick conversation. But it’s Jeonghan, always full of surprises and secrets which he says with a small, devilish smirk on his lips.
“Late where?” Wonwoo grumbles, unconsciously pulling the blankets more over his body. He’s tired, exhausted and he just wants to not exist for a day.
“Dummy, you really forgot? It’s your birthday.”
Right, that makes sense. The last time Wonwoo looked at the date was approximately 3 days ago and since then, it has been a blur of TV appearances and interviews, only going back to the dorms to shower and sleep for a bit. Forgetting your own birthday when most of the days you can’t remember what you did in the morning that day isn’t strange or abnormal. It happens.
“Oh right. I forgot,” Wonwoo admits quietly and turns himself on his back, accidentally squishing Jeonghan’s arm underneath him in the process. Jeonghan yips at that in surprise and Wonwoo looks at him with apologetic eyes, takes his hand in a gentle grip and kisses his fingers.
“I know you would. That doesn’t matter though because I remembered and so did the other guys, but I have the privilege to give you my present first.”
Sometimes, Wonwoo wonders if Jeonghan is a real person or if they collectively made him up.
“Privilege of what?” Wonwoo teases.
Probably dreaming, Wonwoo doesn’t miss the way Jeonghan’s cheeks turn a little pinker and his eyes lose Wonwoo’s for a moment.
“You know what I mean,” Jeonghan says instead and pinches Wonwoo’s stomach for a good measure. Wonwoo laughs softly and quietly, so as not to ruin the mid-morning tranquility. Wonwoo knows what Jeonghan means, more than anybody else. Who is Jeonghan, if not the person Wonwoo let unapologetically see the worst, the ugliest parts of himself, if not the person Wonwoo has shared his bed with for months upon months, if not the person Wonwoo wants to bestow his love to.
Of course he gets the privilege to wish Wonwoo a happy birthday first when he’s all of the above and thousands of other things.
“Okay, well. Does your present include not leaving our room the whole day, ordering a ton of Japanese and preferably making out somewhere in the middle of it?”
Jeonghan’s eyes twinkle with a spark only he knows what it means. Wonwoo likes Jeonghan like this more than he will ever admit, when he looks like his eyes have swallowed up all of the stars in the universe.
“No. You’re gonna get dressed, I’m gonna take you to the secret place and maybe we can make out when we get back. Only maybe, though.”
Only maybe in Jeonghan’s language means more than possibly.
And so Wonwoo begrudgingly drags himself out of the comfort of his giant bed, dresses according to Jeonghan’s directions (“Nothing too colourful, Won, so we blend well with the public. Wear a hat too. I’d say wear sunglasses too but you’d run into a lamp as soon as we step out.”), all while pouting internally that he has to go out. The sun is high up in the sky and the air outside is bound to be stuffy and hot.
“Wear this too,” Jeonghan says right before they walk out and hands Wonwoo a piece of silk. Upon folding it out, it’s a black blindfold. Wonwoo gives him an eyebrow raise. What the fuck.
Jeonghan beams at him, “Trust me. I’ll tell you when to put it on.”
Wonwoo looks again at the silky smooth blindfold in his fingers and back at Jeonghan, “Jeonghan…”
“Wonwoongie, do you trust me or not?” Jeonghan is suddenly impossibly close to Wonwoo, so close Wonwoo can see how insanely long Jeonghan’s eyelashes are. So close that Wonwoo could kiss him. Could, doesn’t mean he will. Something is telling him that right now is not the right time to press Jeonghan against the wall and kiss him senseless. It’s a shame but whatever.
“Yeah, of course I do,” Wonwoo answers automatically, the second the question leaves Jeonghan’s mouth. Because it’s true, Jeonghan can be a little ominous in the best way possible, but that doesn’t change the terrifying reality of Wonwoo trusting Jeonghan with his life.
“Good boy,” Jeonghan gives him a bright smile, brings his fingers to scratch at the back of Wonwoo’s neck and kisses his cheek gently. Unexplainable warmth and fuzziness spreads all over Wonwoo’s stomach and suddenly he doesn’t mind being kicked out of the cocoon of blankets. He’s with Jeonghan and that’s really all that matters.
When they pass by the common room, Chan, Seokmin and Jihoon occupying the entirety of the leather couch, Jeonghan receives a thumbs up from Seokmin, an encouraging smile from Chan and and the signature little quirk from Jihoon, that one that says “ You can do it, it’ll be fine, don’t worry ”. Wonwoo has seen a lot of those so he knows exactly what it means, but he has no idea what Jeonghan can do.
They get into a car, Jeonghan cheerfully greeting their manager while Wonwoo begs him with his eyes. Please, tell me where we are going. Am I gonna get killed? What is going on?
“Jeonghan,” Wonwoo says quietly and nudges his side gently, “where are we going?”
Jeonghan keeps his eyes focused on the world swimming past behind the windows, “We are going to get your surprise.” It’s how casual, unbothered and matter-of-fact Jeonghan makes himself to be that makes Wonwoo borderline angry. Not yet angry, but anxious nonetheless.
Wonwoo nearly whines, undeniably a result of living with Mingyu and Soonyoung for god knows how many years.
“Be patient,” Jeonghan says, keeping his voice firm and steady but there’s a lull on the last syllable, as if he can’t keep a smile off of his face. Wonwoo decides on not pressing into it more, because there’s a thing he learnt over the history of friendship, of companionship with Jeonghan: if Jeonghan sets his mind on something, it’s hard to tease his thoughts elsewhere.
Wonwoo sits patiently, watches Seoul dissolve into a blur of greyscale and occasional greenery and wonders what is going to happen when the car stops. When Jeonghan beckons him to put the blindfold on, leaning Wonwoo’s trust all on him.
The moment comes sooner than Wonwoo expected. Jeonghan dozed off for a split second, head swinging from left to right and Wonwoo almost, almost leaned over and leaned Jeonghan on his side so he didn't accidentally crack his skull against the window when the car came to a sudden stop.
“Oh, we’re here. Put this on,” Jeonghan says cheerfully after he peeks outside. Wonwoo gives him one last look, asking him Is this really necessary but Jeonghan is already pushing the blindfold into his hands, unbuckling his seatbelt as soon as the drive is over. Wonwoo takes off his glasses, puts them gingerly into the glass case and hides into the pocket on the back of the driver’s seat.
“I don’t think the blindfold is necessary, you know I can’t see shit without my glasses,” Wonwoo murmurs, but it’s more to himself than to Jeonghan. Their manager snickers from behind the wheel and looks at Wonwoo in the rearview mirror for a while. His eyes say, I’m sorry.
Jeonghan opens the door for him and helps him out of the car, which would be a gentleman gesture if they were under any circumstances other than this. In the middle of god knows where, on Wonwoo’s 26th birthday, said birthday boy blindfolded, borderline terrified and confused out of his mind.
“Don’t worry, I got you,” Jeonghan says suddenly, too close for Wonwoo who almost shrieks if it wasn’t for the arm around his waist holding him securely.
They start walking, slowly because Wonwoo is as blind as one can be and he doesn’t trust any of his other senses, and for a split second, he wonders if he trusts Jeonghan either. Then, the hand on his hip moves, fingers dip under the cotton T-shirt, skin against skin, and Wonwoo realizes he trusts Jeonghan more than anyone else. Rocks and dirt crunch under their shoes and Wonwoo wonders where they could be. Definitely not in the city center because the drive was at least an hour and he didn’t have the time to register their surroundings properly before he was blindfolding himself.
Wonwoo really has only Jeonghan to trust right now, and it’s not as terrifying as he thought it would be, when he first started toying with the idea of Jeonghan being the one he gives his love to.
“We’re almost there,” Jeonghan announces, keeping his voice quiet and soft and the grip on Wonwoo’s hip tight, but not bruising.
“Would it be appropriate to say that I am scared shitless right now?”
“If you weren’t, it would ruin my surprise.”
“You’re the worst, you know?” Wonwoo groans but means none of it.
“Yeah, you still l-... Yeah, I know.”
A silence fills the space between them for a while, the only sound being the rocks and dirt under their shoes. Wonwoo wonders if Jeonghan meant what he thought he did. You still like / love me. Wonwoo doesn’t know if that’s what Jeonghan wanted to say, but he knows what answer he would give to Jeonghan. Yeah, I do.
As they get closer, a more commotion can be heard. It sounds like metal gates opening, the terrain under their feet changes to a solid concrete and Wonwoo can definitely sense the presence of other people around them.
“Okay, we’re here,” Jeonghan announces, letting his fingers dip under Wonwoo’s T-shirt one more time, before that hand leaves and Wonwoo suddenly feels incredibly vulnerable, not as safe as he was seconds ago when Jeonghan’s touch was still present.
Wonwoo can hear a hushed, almost inaudible set of two voices whispering something to each other, one of which is definitely Jeonghan’s. They’re so quiet, Wonwoo can’t really make out what they’re saying.
“Wonwoo,” Jeonghan says from a distance before he gets closer, “give me your hand. We’ll go inside, there are two steps in front of you so please don’t break your pretty nose.”
Wonwoo would have felt flustered and warm that Jeonghan thinks his nose is pretty if he wasn’t feeling like he is fighting for his life.
Following Jeonghan’s directions, Wonwoo grips his hand tightly and skips up the two stairs with ease. They’re in some sort of a room because the summer breeze has suddenly disappeared.
“Can I take it off, please?” Wonwoo says, urgently now because it’s been too long and he is so anxious he feels his heart is going to beat its way out. Jeonghan hums, there’s a beat of silence before he is suddenly behind Wonwoo, warm palms on Wonwoo’s shoulders.
“Take it off,” Jeonghan beckons him quietly, hands still on Wonwoo’s shoulders. Wonwoo steels himself for what he is about to see and takes the blindfold off. Upon opening his eyes, Wonwoo closes them again because the room is too fucking bright and he just spent the last hour and a bit in total darkness.
Then, Wonwoo opens his eyes again, blinks out the white light he is seeing, and looks around the room. It’s a simple room, there is barely any furniture there but there is a huge cardboard box in the far right corner, bright red Solstice written on top of it and with, what looks to be, a bag of… animal food? next to it. Wonwoo can’t read the label so far away from it so he can only guess.
But what he surely can read, or more like see, is what’s right in front of him. A kitten. A tiny little ball of midnight grey fur, head round like a circle, slightly tilted as if it was judging Wonwoo and eyes bigger than the Moon.
“Happy birthday, Wonwoongie,” Jeonghan whispers into his ear and dares to press a little kiss right below his ear. Wonwoo feels hot all over, and he is sure Jeonghan can feel how warm his skin is, as he takes in the little animal in front of him. It’s so small it could probably fit into his one palm.
“W-what is that?” Wonwoo’s voice shakes and he knows he has to look like he just saw a ghost morph right in front of him.
“A cat,” Jeonghan answers matter-of-factly again, but judging by the tone of his voice and how his words come out a little softer, more fluid, he can’t stop smiling.
“And also your birthday present.”
Wonwoo is going to pass out. Jeonghan got him a cat. A kitten. Only for him. Jeonghan got him what he secretly wanted, yearned for for years on the end but never dared himself to make his wish come true because of how busy they get.
Wonwoo stands still as if he was drilled to the ground beneath him, “Jeonghan, I can’t take care of a kitten.”
Jeonghan snickers, “Bullshit. You’re so caring, and you’re good at taking care of me and the others. You’ll be great.”
“It’s going to be alone. We’re so busy, it’s going to be alone,” Wonwoo can’t stop staring at it. At her, at him. It’s so cute, it’s the roundest thing Wonwoo has ever seen only giving him the impression of the kitten being well fed and cared for. The kitten’s eyes are bright bluish grey, a few shades lighter than its fur. And it’s so cute, the way it looks at Wonwoo as if it was waiting for him to finally do something.
“No, she won’t be alone. Her name’s Solstice, by the way. You can change it if you want to, but she is pretty used to it by now. And I talked to your parents and they are more than willing to take care of her when you… when we can’t,” Jeonghan’s voice almost disappears in the last three words. Wonwoo is so high strung on emotions that it rings in his ears like a bullet in his head.
“We?” Wonwoo whispers back, dares to take his eyes off the kitten.
“I,” Jeonghan looks at him with the beautiful eyes of his, and Wonwoo realizes how in love he is with Jeonghan, with everything that he is and isn’t, “I thought it was time to take another step? Maybe progress that whatever between us to the next level.”
Wonwoo breaks into a bright smile, “Usually, people ask each other out and label themselves as boyfriends and girlfriends or whatever. Not often do they get a cat as a second stage of their relationship.”
Jeonghan mimics his grin, “Well, I do relationships my way.”
Wonwoo thinks that’s valid. He doesn’t dare to kiss Jeonghan right then and there, although he really, really wants to. He wants so much that his fingers start to tingle. From the way Jeonghan’s eyes slip to Wonwoo’s lips for a second, Wonwoo can tell Jeonghan wants it too. Soon, he tells himself, when they’re safe and sound back in their house. There, he will kiss Jeonghan for hours, until well into the night.
“What do you think about her?” Jeonghan asks after, as they huddle around the kitten on the ground and Wonwoo stretches his hand slowly, for the kitten to sniff at his fingers. Wonwoo can feel the ghost touch of kitten whiskers, before Solstice is pushing her head into his touch, demanding scratches behind her ears and under her chin. Solstice’s face is so adorable, all scrunched up in pleasure, as Wonwoo scratches gently under her chin. She’s small, definitely the smallest one in the bunch, but she is as healthy as one can be. Wonwoo loves her.
“She’s so cute. How did you even think about this?” Wonwoo asks, voice heavy with disbelief. Jeonghan shuffles closer to him and lets Solstice grab at his fingers.
“You’ve talked about it for years. I know it wasn’t possible in the beginning but now that… that we are secured and comfortable, I thought it could work out. I wouldn’t plan all of this if I wasn’t sure there were other people who could take care of her.”
Wonwoo doesn’t know who he loves more.
“What did my parents say?”
Solstice meows at Wonwoo, demanding him to continue the scratches before she pushes her head towards Wonwoo’s hand. Jeonghan picks her up gently and places her into Wonwoo’s arms, “They were happy about the fact you won’t whine about wanting a cat anymore. They also agreed to take Solstice whenever we go on tour.”
Jeonghan is perfect, absolutely, utterly perfect.
“Thank you, seriously,” Wonwoo whispers to Jeonghan quietly, when they are on their way back, a box full of Solstice’s stuff in the trunk of the car, Solstice sound asleep in a carrier between them.
“Everything for you,” Jeonghan whispers back and lets his head fall on Wonwoo’s shoulder.
The first people to meet Solstice are Seungcheol and Mingyu, who bounce and skip to the front door with an excitement only a puppy can possess. They coo and gush about the sleeping kitten until Wonwoo pushes them off, already taking a protective stand over the little furball and makes his way to his… their room. Jeonghan joins him soon after, followed by a string of whiny Seungkwan and Chan who complain about wanting to meet Solstice. Jeonghan shuts the door, locks it for a good measure and lets out the loudest sigh of relief Wonwoo’s ever heard.
“We should probably go, the guys want to throw you a celebration dinner,” Jeonghan wonders out loud, while Wonwoo sets down Solstice and starts to set up her own little corner. First thing is her little bed and water and food bowls. Wonwoo fills them respectively and puts them next to the kitten cushion.
“Or we could stay here for the rest of the night and make out for a bit,” Wonwoo suggests with a soft smile on his lips and watches as Jeonghan’s eyes twinkle in the setting July sun.
“Is that what my birthday boy wants?” Jeonghan teases and sits down on the edge of their bed.
“Yes,” Wonwoo answers before he stretches himself over Jeonghan until he pushes him on his back, bearing his knees into the mattress and digging his elbows next to Jeonghan’s head. Wonwoo brackets Jeonghan underneath him who makes no attempt to push him off, only presses Wonwoo closer with his fingers on his hips.
“Then, I should give it to him,” Jeonghan murmurs before he is pulling Wonwoo in by the back of his neck, before he is kissing him, finally finally is what Wonwoo’s heart screams as it gets filled with warmth and serenity only Jeonghan can give him. Jeonghan is like the sea underneath Wonwoo, so calm and fluid and gentle, yet strong and forceful as he pulls Wonwoo closer and in, in in, until Wonwoo feels like he could suffocate with Jeonghan’s lips between his. Jeonghan’s the tide and Wonwoo is the shore, Jeonghan takes and takes while Wonwoo gives, gives so willingly, so happily.
Wonwoo pulls away to finally say it, to let Jeonghan know, but it’s like Jeonghan knows either way because he is pulling Wonwoo back to him again, kissing him forcefully and it’s heady, dizzying and Wonwoo’s head is spinning because it seems like Jeonghan knows, knows what Wonwoo is feeling because he is feeling too. Because their feelings are reciprocated towards one another. Because Wonwoo loves Jeonghan and Jeonghan loves Wonwoo. And that’s how it’s supposed to be, that’s what all of their years led to, that’s what their stars aligned for.