Archive of Our Own

Heo Joon, Heo Joon, Heo Joon.

He mutters the name under his breath as he walks down the wide, busy street. At the same time, he curses Namjoon in his head for his blatant lie of the place being tucked away and not crowded. It's like judgement day is here and all humans have fucking gathered.

He squeezes himself through another wave of harried people, pulling his cap down and looking at his feet. The sweltering heat makes the crowd into a real curse, along with a mix of everybody’s scent. Not only is it disgusting, it’s dangerous. If he were to be recognized in the middle of this mob, there's no chance he'll get out unharmed. He's occupied with keeping his face hidden, with making sure no one knows him and he stops muttering the name and when he's finally in front of the library, he can't remember the name anymore. No matter, he knows enough to get his research done.

He sighs, narrows his eyes at the library's glass doors, at the open sign and the obviously not empty space inside. He debates going in for a few moments before he decides, even if he's not staying for the research, he needs a place to hide while he calls Namjoon to come and pick him up, so he pushes the door in and enters.

A waft of cool air hits his face, a contrast relief to the heat outside. It smells warm though, and the lights aren't harsh. The place is silent and every person is engrossed, head hidden between the pages. When he's sure no one is looking at him, he walks to the librarian, who also has his head buried in a book.

The boy behind the desk has light brown hair, he's wearing a white tee and Seokjin can see a glimpse of glasses settled on the shell of his ear. He stands in front of the desk and clears his throat and the boy puts the book down.

Nothing in the world could have prepared Seokjin for this moment. He's heard of it, he's had roles where he played it. He's read about it, watched Disney movies bringing it to life but he absolutely isn't ready for the way his heart falls to his feet when his eyes take in the librarian.

No, the angel . Only the hands of God could have sculptured such perfection. Seokjin isn’t a believer, but now he's overcome with the urge to fall on his knees and weep, ask for forgiveness and offer endless gratitude.

His eyes are big, clear pools of warm hazel, his eyebrows thick and perfectly arched, his small nose is dotted by a beauty mark like it's the end of the prettiness sentence. His features are delicate, like the most talented, patient artists took their time with him. Lashes like a moth's wings, long and lush and he blinks them up at Seokjin as he tilts his head to the side. Caramel hair falls in smooth, shiny layers and slides over his brows with the movement, the light from the ceiling threading it with gold. His skin gleams a healthy hue and his lips.

Wow.

His lips must be the reason there is poetry because god damn , Seokjin wants to weave epics about the fullness of them, about the subtle shine and the pink. Seokjin's staring brings a rosy blush to the angel's round cheeks and he knows he's being rude, he fucking knows. But he's a mortal in the presence of an otherworldly being, he can be nothing but awed and tongue-tied.

"How can I help you?" His angel asks. Seokjin sucks in a breath, blinks behind his shades and in a moment of utter stupidity, he takes them off and tucks them to the pocket on his breast.

His angel doesn't recognize him, and the relief mixed with annoyance it brings pulls Seokjin out of his haze.

"Yes, thank you. I'm looking for a book."

The angel arches a brow as if to say Duh, we're in a library and Seokjin's ears flame. He stutters out a pathetic noise.

"Anything!" he blurts. "A good anything."

Oh God, please. A strike of thunder would be much appreciated. The angel nods and Seokjin sees his name tag.

Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung.

What a pretty name for a pretty angel.

"A novel?" Taehyung says. "Or perhaps something else? Good doesn't narrow it much."

Seokjin nods dumbly, and says. "Give me your favourite book."

Taehyung smiles and Seokjin clamps on his tongue. His heart gallops and his lungs shake, and his stomach is likely to be jumping rope using his intestines. He turns his face with Taehyung as he steps from behind the register and walks in between the shelves. Seokjin follows like he's in a trance, bumps into Taehyung's back when Taehyung stops.

"Sorry," he croaks. "I'm sorry."

Taehyung frowns at him but says nothing. He wordlessly pulls out a book and shows it to Seokjin. The title is nothing he's heard of, and neither is the writer. The summary claims the book is a collection of short stories.

"It will change your life," Taehyung says. Seokjin grins at him.

"I feel like my life has already changed," he says, very seriously. Taehyung is confused but he doesn't contradict him and Seokjin follows him back to the desk where they put his name down for the book. Hiding behind his shades and the cap once more and with the book tucked under his arm, Seokjin waves at the angel and steps out of the library and only after a hundred meters or so of walking and woolgathering about Taehyung that he remembers the real reason he needed a library in the first place.

He was supposed to do research about a character he's acting. He stops and looks at the book in his hand, someone jostles him then another and Seokjin runs away to a small, deserted cafe and calls Namjoon.

He's two stories into the book when Namjoon arrives, and the entire drive to his place he talks about the damn book. Namjoon recognizes it, of course, and he happily jumps into the conversation. When they arrive, Namjoon says.

"It's good to see you interested in literature, and this is a great choice, but what happened to research on Heo Joon?"

Seokjin blushes. "I forgot," he says. Namjoon frowns.

"You forgot why you went to the library?" he says, incredulous.

Seokjin's heart is still beating fast over hazel eyes and heavenly smiles and strands made of chocolate and sunshine. 

"Yeah," he breathes. "I think I'm in love."

"...With the book?" Namjoon asks.

"With the librarian," Seokjin corrects.

Namjoon stays in the car, motionless and Seokjin is too high to allow anyone to bring him down so he runs to the elevator in his building and ignores Namjoon calling his name.

He tries another useless search on the internet but all the information he finds on Heo Joon are general things about where he was born. He needs a more detailed article, or a book. Something about the person himself and his habits rather than the things that happened around him. He huffs and throws his phone aside, picks up the book Taehyung gave him and fucks his sleep schedule over, staying up until three in the morning to finish it. Namjoon wakes him at six, gives him a lecture about how he can't afford dark circles. Seokjin nods at him and smiles.

"You're smiling?" Namjoon exclaims. "At six?" He's getting progressively louder and more bewildered as Seokjin remains cheerful despite the early hour and the lack of sleep. Seokjin doesn't even ask for coffee, he feels energized and good.

"I'll go see him again," he sighs dreamily. Namjoon halts in place, frowns then marches to him and flicks his forehead.

"Don't be an idiot," he chides. "You can't keep visiting the same place, this was supposed to be a quick errand. I'll go and bring―"

"No!"  Seokjin protests. He throws himself at Namjoon, both hands on Namjoon's chest and puts on his best pleading expression and calls some tears to give his eyes a shine. Namjoon huffs.

"I know it's an act," he says, exasperation clear. "But you're too damn good. Fine. But you have to be very careful, and not just about the place. Be careful about the guy too."

Seokjin bounces on the balls of his feet, he can't help it. "I will be!" he cheers. Namjoon chuckles and shakes his head before he gestures with it toward the door.

He has two interviews to promote the last drama he shot. Neither one is live, so he has to record them; after that he's pretty much free and he plans to go to the library. On the set, everyone points out that he's more cheerful than they expected him to be, and he feels light and happy. It's not something usual, he has a gloomy character most of the time, especially in the morning but today he feels sappy as fuck and he can't stop thinking about Taehyung.

He daydreams about him, and he's around the time when their baby girl takes her first steps with him and Taehyung filming when the makeup artist announces him done and ready. He pouts, his vision was very pleasant. Taehyung was looking at him with the prettiest smile.

He can't wait to see him again.

His never ending supply of floating invites the interviewer, and the two other guests to compliment his looks and to ask him about his love life. Usually, he doesn't need to say any untruth as an answer. A short nod to his schedule is enough, a flirty remark about his type, a wink to the screen. But when the interviewer opens her mouth and asks, Seokjin freezes and feels his ears burning. It's not live, but he knows they won't cut it. He's sure they'd rather cut their hands.

"I'm," he starts, then laughs awkwardly. "I don't really have the time to think about that right now."

The interviewer narrows her eyes then smiles. She says with a sly tone. "I don't know, Seokjin-ssi. You look lovestruck to me. Are the dating rumors perhaps true?"

And finally, the subject is ridiculous enough for him to get back on his feet. "Rumors?" he arches a brow. "There are dating rumors about me?" he dramatically places a hand over his heart. "How unusual!"

They all laugh good heartedly and Seokjin smiles and steers the conversation somewhere else. Inside his ribcage, the song of his beats sounds like a two-syllable name.

When he's done with both interviews, Namjoon drives him home then waits for him as he showers and angsts about his clothes. He wears cologne and laments the fact that he can't put on a fancy outfit. He can't even style his hair in a cool way because he has to keep the damn cap. Namjoon shoves the shades into his hands before he picks up the book and they rush out to catch the library before it closes.

"And do remember to do your research, please," Namjoon says when they park in front of the library. Seokjin nods but he's not really listening. His heart is beating too loud in his ears and he's already breathless with anticipation. Namjoon says more shit but Seokjin's leaving. He waves over his shoulder and walks to the library's entrance, not able to suppress the bounce in his steps.

Upon entering, he spies Taehyung sitting behind the desk, reading like last time. His thick rimmed glasses low on his nose and his brows furrowed, an adorable pout on his lips. Seokjin sighs and goes to him. He knocks on the desk and Taehyung puts the book away and looks up at him, his expression blooming into breathtaking happiness and his eyes glittering like they have the stars trapped in them. He takes off the glasses and places them on the book.

"Hello!" he greets. "How did you like the book?"

Seokjin's heart skips a beat. "You remember me," he says dumbly. Taehyung's smile widens.

"I don't get many handsome readers," he says. Seokjin grins, puffing his chest. "Are you looking to be a regular?"

Seokjin nods fast. Taehyung goes on, "So did you like the book?"

"Love it," he says, almost too eager. Taehyung laughs.

"Something with the same themes?"

Seokjin lifts both hands in a surrendering gesture. "Maybe a lighter read this time. The book was good, but it was depressing."

Taehyung hums thoughtfully. "I know a good book about puns?"

"oOH, that's perfect!" Seokjin cheers.

"A fan?"

"I love puns," Seokjin confirms and without holding back he tells one. "So why did the girlfriend take so long to answer her boyfriend's proposal?"

Taehyung smiles and asks dutifully. "I don't know. Why?"

"Because there's much to consider, on one hand she'll get a beautiful ring, on the other hand she won't,"  Seokjin says seriously. Taehyung blinks then giggles. He leads the way to the shelves and Seokjin follows, can't stop himself from telling another joke.

"On their wedding day, the priest took the bride's hand and placed the groom's hand on top of it, he said: This is the last time you'll have the upper hand."

He knows he's being too silly, but Taehyung laughs and it fills his chest with flowers so he keeps going, joke after ridiculous joke and Taehyung smiles and giggles at all of them. He hands Seokjin the promised book and they walk back to the front desk, arriving just as Seokjin finishes another joke.

"But why are they all proposal jokes?" Taehyung asks.

Seokjin shrugs, puts on his most somber expression. "I don't know, I find them all very engaging."

Taehyung's laughter bursts out of him, a joyous melody that makes Seokjin believe he can fly. Taehyung doesn't restrain himself, he throws his head back and laughs loud enough for the few readers to turn and glare at him. He wipes at his eyes and bows to them, whispering apologies before he playfully hits Seokjin on the arm. Seokjin dopily smiles at him as he rubs at the smarting area.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" Taehyung says right after, a blush rising on his face. Seokjin waves with both hands.

"No, it's alright!"

Taehyung's eyes are wide and he seems mortified. "I'm so sorry, sir. I just. It felt so easy and friendly I got carried away, I―"

"Hey," Seokjin chides. "It's fine, really. I'd love it if we became friends."

"Oh," Taehyung says, then pouts and whirls around, busying himself with something. Seokjin doesn't know what he said wrong but he waits until Taehyung marks him down for the book before he waves and starts to leave.

"Wait!" Taehyung calls. Seokjin turns to him. "You didn't tell me your name."

Seokjin looks around then walks back so he's close to Taehyung. "Kim Seokjin," he whispers. Taehyung nods.

"I'm Kim Taehyung," he says pointing at his nametag. "Nice to meet you, Seokjin-ssi."

His pride hurts a little, there's not an ounce of recognition on Taehyung's face and he can't help but feel a bit disappointed. It'd be easier to charm Taehyung using the famous actor card. At the same time, he feels a mounting sense of happiness, and he thinks it's better this way. It'll certainly give Taehyung a chance to really know him and not just what the media paints him to be.

"Hyung," he says with a small smile. "You can call me hyung."

Taehyung's eyes crinkle at the side, light dancing in them. "Seokjin-hyung," he repeats and nothing has sounded better.

He skips his way to the same hidden cafe and calls Namjoon. Namjoon arrives half an hour later and Seokjin closes the book and hurries to the car.

"So, did you get anything useful about your character?" Namjoon asks soon as the door closes. Seokjin freezes.

"Dammit," he mutters. From the driver seat, Namjoon sighs.

"Seriously?"

Seokjin can't even bring himself to pretend he's upset. He's seen Taehyung today, and how could a simple mortal like him muster any negative feeling after being graced by an angel?

"If you don't remember next time, I ain't driving you there again."

"Yah!" Seokjin protests. "You can't tell me where I can and can't go! I have to meet my future husband every day."

"Your...husband," Namjoon repeats. He keeps his eyes on the road but one of his hands leaves the wheel to smack Seokjin on the back of his head. "Are you insane?"

"Why!" Seokjin exclaims. "He will be my husband, I just have to make him love me first."

"You've seen him twice!" Namjoon shrieks, turns to look at him with wide eyes. The tires screech and Namjoon panics and turns forward again but he doesn't stop yapping. "You sound like your crazy fans on twitter, claiming to be married to you."

"I don't care," Seokjin retorts. And he really doesn't. "I love him, my heart is set on him."

"You are so fucking dramatic and an idiot. A dramatic fucking idiot."

"Be like that," Seokjin snaps. "Yoongi will be my best man."

Despite the confidence in his voice, if he keeps falling all over himself when he sees Taehyung and spouting nothing but dad jokes about weddings, he doubts anything of the sort will happen.

That night he reads the entire book but it's a light read and doesn't take as much, so he goes to bed at a reasonable hour. He doesn't fall asleep, however, even though he woke up too early and didn't have any caffeine. His heart is beating too fast and he keeps replaying the moments he spent with Taehyung. Taehyung's gentle laughter, the way his hair fell in waves when he threw his head back, how his sweet voice sounded and how his eyes twinkled. Seokjin buzzes and it's like he's on a sugar rush. Every cell of his body bouncing and humming, like he's a source of electricity.

He flips to the side and Taehyung's image takes residence behind his closed lids. He pictures them going on dates, laughing, holding hands, kissing. He can see himself pushing Taehyung to bed and climbing on top of him, making out for hours before he sinks into him and loves him slow and gentle. Taehyung would arch up into him, moan high and breathy and he'd ask for more and tell Seokjin he loves him.

Seokjin smiles as he finally surrenders to slumber.

**

The next few days, his work prevents him from seeing Taehyung and he pouts and acts like he's five but he can't help it. He doesn't exactly miss Taehyung, he doesn't know him well enough for that emotion to develop, but there's a kind of longing that makes him anxious. He wants to get to know Taehyung so he can miss him properly. A week goes by and he starts thinking it's unhealthy, how come he can't think of anything else but making up increasingly sappy scenarios about how he'll fucking propose? Taehyung is still a stranger for all intents and purposes. It's not like he can ask Taehyung on a date like a normal person, paparazzi will follow him around and they'll have a field day with it and probably start stalking Taehyung. He doesn't want to put Taehyung in that situation.

The problem remains, no matter how infatuated he is with Taehyung, marching into that library and kneeling down with a ring isn't really possible. He might scare Taehyung off, he might get a restraining order. It'll definitely make it to TV, and he'll lose his career.

So no. No dates and no instant proposal and Seokjin is severely out of ideas. He sighs loud and long and one of the makeup girls asks.

"Are you alright?"

He mulls it over before he answers. "I'm just worried about a friend of mine," he says at last, hoping if he masks it like this, he'll maybe get decent advice. Namjoon refuses to help and Yoongi, of course, took Namjoon’s side. Fuckers.

"Yes?" she urges. She fixes his bangs back with a clip and starts applying concealer, dabbing under his eyes and on his nose.

"He's fallen in love at first sight. Like, for real. He saw this...girl once and he's in love now but he can't take her out and he can't propose like he wants to lest she think he's a psycho or insincere, so what should he do?"

She hums thoughtfully. "I didn't think people actually fell in love at first sight, this is so cute," she says. "I think if he confesses, not to love but like a crush it'll go well."

"The problem of dates still remains," Seokjin frowns. She nods as she smears more makeup on his face. She picks up a brush and starts lining his eyes.

"He can try a sweet gesture? A gift or a card?"

Seokjin slumps on his chair and glares at his reflection. If Taehyung knew who he was, it'd be easier to explain the dating problem. On the other hand, Taehyung knowing might lead to the very real possibility of him being unwilling to deal with this amount of shit for a relationship that does not yet exist.

How the fuck does he even start to make Taehyung like him? Hang in the library forever? Fuck his life, for real.

It's another week before he can swing by the library again; this time he takes a taxi there and resolves to remove the shades and the cap. He'll at least use his looks to the max and hopes for the best.

Taehyung looks more gorgeous than the last time he saw him and Seokjin halts on the spot and sputters air. He didn't think it was possible.

"God please help me, I'm a weak human and he's your most beautiful angel. I need a miracle."

He takes a calming breath and plasters on his most charming smile, clutching at the book that's way past its return time and hiding the single white rose he's brought behind his back.

"Hey," he greets. Taehyung's head whips up and his face lights up.

"Hyung!" he says happily. "I started to think you ran away with the book."

Seokjin laughs awkwardly, his confidence plummeting. He ducks his head and offers the book to Taehyung, muttering apologies.

"I was kidding, it's totally fine."

"I'll pay for being late, I'm so sorry."

"Ah, hyung, it's really okay," Taehyung reassures. He puts the book aside and leans his elbows on the desk, resting his cheek in his palm and studying Seokjin with twinkling eyes. God is he pretty, his lashes fluttering and his tempting lips lifted up in a soft smile.

"So, did you want another recommendation?"

They're close now, and like he's sucked in by a magnetic field, Seokjin leans in until the space between them is less than socially acceptable but not enough to be called intimate. He stares into Taehyung's eyes, loses his breath at the new details he can see from this distance. Taehyung's lashes aren't black, they're a dark brown. He has more moles on his face, not just the one on his nose. On his left cheek and under his right eye, and one just below his kissable bottom lip.

Taehyung tips his head to the side like a puppy, a question without words and instead of an answer, Seokjin places the white rose on the desk and slides it to Taehyung. Taehyung looks down and his smile turns soft, when he lifts his eyes there's a  tender shimmer in their depth, a dazzling something that Seokjin has to fight being pulled into.

Any closer and they'll share breath. Any closer and Seokjin will crumble.

Dainty, long fingers reach for the stem, Taehyung holds it gently and brings it to his nose, closing his eyes as he breathes in. He looks at Seokjin from behind the petals, his cheeks dusted red.

"It's very pretty," he says in a low voice. "Thank you, hyung."

Seokjin's insides turns into mush and he only nods and smiles dumbly because if he speaks now, it'll be something stupid like Please marry me . He makes it as far as the "Please," before he manages to shut himself up.

"Please?" Taehyung repeats. Seokjin's face heats.

"Please give me another book," he says, not daring to look at Taehyung.

"Alright, how about horror this time?" Taehyung suggests.

"You certainly read every genre. I bet you don't even watch TV."

The last bit is a conclusion. Seokjin isn’t vain, it's really impossible to watch TV and not know about him, so that must be it. Taehyung laughs.

"You caught me," he says. "It wasn't always books. When I was younger, I only watched animations, but in my first year of college, I got this job. I used to do my assignments here but I stayed during the summer too and boredom led me to books. I became addicted," he laughs again. "I spent the entire summer reading. It's wonderful."

"College?" Seokjin asks.

"I'm an architecture student, this is my last year," Taehyung says.

"Wow, that's amazing."

Taehyung gives him another heart stopping smile. "Thank you. What about hyung?"

Seokjin's palms sweat. "I'm an actor," he mumbles.

"Oh? Are you perhaps famous?" Taehyung teases. Seokjin smiles.

"Something like that. So which book will you give me?" he deflects. Taehyung doesn't seem bothered by it. He motions for Seokjin to follow him and together they walk between high shelves stacked with endless books. Seokjin hangs back, walks slowly so he can enjoy the view that is Taehyung's magnificent ass. He really is perfect head to toe. 

Taehyung taps at his lips with his index as his eyes scan the row of horror books before he perks up and takes one of them out. He turns and steps close, pushes the book at Seokjin's chest and keeps his hand on the other side so the book won't fall. Instinctively, Seokjin places his hand on top of Taehyung's. When Taehyung doesn't flinch away, he breathes in relief and boldly presses his hand down.

"This one is very suspenseful and interesting," Taehyung says, stepping even closer. "It'll make you hold your breath."

Seokjin's breath rattles in his chest. "I'll read it tonight," he says hoarsely.

"But that might keep you up," Taehyung chides gently.

Seokjin shakes his head slowly, without breaking eye contact. "I don't mind."

"Hmm," Taehyung bends down a little, so he's looking up at Seokjin from under his lashes. "Now I'm guilty, I feel like I should make sure you're in bed early."

Seokjin blinks. Taehyung is so damn pretty from this angle. He glances down to Taehyung's lips and back to his eyes and nods like he's drugged. "I'll sleep early, I promise."

Taehyung lifts his brows then he laughs. "Alright," he breathes, straightens up and walks back to the front desk. He waves goodbye to Taehyung and calls a cab and halfway back home he groans and smacks his cheeks.

He dials Namjoon and as soon as Namjoon picks up he bewails. "He was talking about taking me to bed, and I promised to sleep early. Please kill me right now."

Namjoon huffs on the other side. "I really didn't take you for a dork but wow."

Seokjin whines. "I'm such an idiot, Namjoon-ah. I'm an idiot." He can't see his friend but the pause tells him Namjoon is nodding his head in agreement and at the moment, Seokjin can't even be offended. "I missed my chance, didn't I?"

"Not necessarily," Namjoon says. "It shows us that despite you being embarrassing on the regular, he's actually interested, so maybe make another move. And hyung?"

"Yes?"

"Fucking do the research!"

Oh.

"Yes, I'll try to remember next time."

Another exasperated huff sounds before the line disconnects. Seokjin sighs and locks his phone. Later that night, he puts an effort into sleeping early, despite how interesting the book is.

After all, he promised Taehyung he would.

**

Two days later, he takes the book back with another rose, pink this time. When he steps into the library, Taehyung turns without incentive and smiles at Seokjin. On the desk, he's set a small vase with the rose Seokjin has brought him, not as lively as it was but still holding on.

Seokjin's heart expands, and he shows Taehyung the new rose. Taehyung's smile softens and when Seokjin offers the rose, Taehyung wraps his fingers around Seokjin's and keeps them there so they're holding the stem together.

"Thank you, hyung," Taehyung whispers. Seokjin's heart sighs at his smile and he feels like a king, like he owns the entire world just because Taehyung gave this soft expression to him.

"It's nothing." He returns the book and Taehyung places the new rose beside the old one.

"What kind of book should I give you this time?" Taehyung asks. "Another genre novel? Fantasy perhaps? Or," his smile turns sly. "Erotica?"

Seokjin chokes and shakes his head, flushing up to his ears. "No! No no, nothing so inappropriate. Fantasy is fine!"

Taehyung laughs heartily, like the best music. "Alright, hyung," he agrees. "Let's go."

They make the now familiar trip between the books and Seokjin thinks again that he probably missed another chance. But he just can't help losing his shit when Taehyung teases him. He seriously needs to get a fucking grip. Finally, Taehyung picks a book for him and asks.

"So, why acting?"

Seokjin has been asked this question many times, he'd usually answer by pointing to his face and cheekily saying how it'd be a waste for a man as handsome as himself not to be onscreen but none of his bravado works when he's with Taehyung. With Taehyung he's not Kim Seokjin, the acclaimed actor and the famous heartthrob, here with Taehyung's eyes on him he's just a regular guy with an aching heart, stripped from all pretenses and every act.

He's painfully real, and he both hates it and can't get enough.

"Originally, I wanted to be a superhero," he says, then laughs. "I wanted to be a CEO, then I wanted to be a car racer, and then I wanted to be a prince. My family wanted me to be a doctor, and a lawyer and an engineer," he takes a breath. "So I chose to become all of it."

It was his brilliant plan to be everything, hoping that in doing so he'll disappoint no one. For the longest time, he wasn't right. Even when he was the best of his colleagues, it wasn't impressive enough. It was only good when he became famous.

Taehyung's eyes dart between his, his next question is low, like he's afraid he'll spook Seokjin. "Do you regret it?"

Once again, Seokjin can't lie. "Sometimes," he breathes. "Don't get me wrong, I'm very lucky, and most of the time I am very grateful but sometimes," he thinks, sometimes like right now when he can't even ask the man he loves to a date because it'll either be an over the top private place or a very sleazy, come back to my place, and Taehyung deserves so much better than someone who can't give him these small things. Times when he longs for normal things and can't have them.

"Sometimes, I do regret it, yes."

Taehyung reaches out, his fingers trails Seokjin's cheekbone with a feather-like touch before he slides them along Seokjin's jaw. "I think we all have regrets when we actively think about our choices. You'll always give something up to gain another but the question is, if it's worth it or not." Before he can pull his hand back, Seokjin catches it and keeps it in place.

"It's worth it," he says. "But I still want more."

Taehyung steps closer. They're eye to eye and nose to nose and Seokjin's heart is banging to the point of pain. They stare at each other for seconds that go on forever, until Seokjin can't feel his feet anymore and he's lightheaded. He's told himself that he loved Taehyung since the start but this moment, this endless distance between them stretching over a hair of space, this aching quiver rattling his bones and the way he's swaying closer.

This is falling. And it feels groundbreaking and everlasting, and he knows it'll change him forever. Whatever happens after this, this moment is one of the big ones, something he'll carry for the rest of his life.

Taehyung tilts his head to the side, licks his lips and asks. "Is it something I can give?" he asks. Seokjin's world skews, his stars orbits Taehyung's waist and his wishes swim in Taehyung's eyes and end with the tips of his lashes.

"If it was," Seokjin starts, gulps but before he can finish, Taehyung answers.

"I'll give it to you."

Seokjin surges forward, pushes Taehyung against the shelves and Taehyung gasps and arches into him. Their lips meet in a deep, hungry kiss so unlike the sugary daydreams Seokjin's had and a million times better. Searing real and time-altering and the best thing he's ever felt. Taehyung's fingers grab at his hair and pull and Seokjin grips Taehyung's hips and pins him harder, licks his mouth open and dives deep.  

Taehyung moans into the kiss, hooks a leg over Seokjin's hip and thrusts forward. His heat burns through the many layers, his arousal matching Seokjin's.

"God," Seokjin gasps. "I've wanted this since the moment I saw you."

"Seokjin!" Taehyung calls, thuds his head back. Seokjin attacks his neck, teeth and tongue and kisses. He sucks at Taehyung's skin, tasting salty sweat, following along the juts of bone to leave marks. Taehyung shoves closer, his hips bucking wildly and he cranes his neck further to the back, offering more of himself up.

"Taehyung," Seokjin slurs into his skin and Taehyung yanks harder at his hair, forces him into another devastating kiss.

Taehyung's hands grope along his shoulders and back, down to his ass and back up again, like he can't bear the thought of a place on Seokjin's body he can't touch. Seokjin knows the feeling, he's blazing with it. Desire like hellfire eating away inside and he can't help but kiss firmer and bite harder and thrust onto Taehyung's hardness.

"Hyung, hyung. Please," Taehyung begs. Seokjin can't bear it, he squeezes his eyes shut and groans.

"Whatever you want," he promises. "Anything, just tell me."

Taehyung moans like he's in pain. "Your mouth," he says. "Want you to suck me off, please. Please."

Seokjin doesn't argue, doesn't think. He drops to his knees and unbuckles Taehyung's belt. Taehyung looks at him with wide, shiny eyes. Pupils dilated and hair messed up, cheeks flushed red and lips deliciously swollen. Seokjin wouldn't even dream of refusing him.

He pulls Taehyung cock out and looks. Taehyung is gorgeous, big and dripping and perfect. Seokjin takes the tip into his mouth and sucks, licks at the slit and closes his eyes at the taste. Taehyung bucks his hips and moans long, hitting his shoulders on the shelves and thrusting.

"Shhh," Seokjin says the best he can. They're in a public place, and he doesn't want to be caught. Not because he's ashamed but because he doesn't want them to stop. He locks eyes with Taehyung, lets go of his cock and places his index finger on his lips. Taehyung nods and Seokjin takes him into his mouth once more. This time, going all the way down until Taehyung's dick parts the muscles of his throat. He swallows around it, hollows his cheeks. Taehyung makes a hurt noise, a low muffled sound. Seokjin pulls back, licks around the tip, watches Taehyung falling apart, biting on his hand to keep the sounds at bay. He grabs Taehyung's thighs and swallows him to the hilt, teasing with a hint of teeth and licking on the underside.

Taehyung's shaking above him, biting so hard on his hand Seokjin's afraid he'll break skin and make himself bleed. The other hand comes down to grip on Seokjin's crown, not yanking but holding on. Taehyung is being so good, keeping his hips in place, allowing Seokjin to control the pace.

"Hyung," he wheezes. "Seokjin. God, I'm so close."

Seokjin tugs at his balls, doubles his efforts. He bobs his head and licks around the tip and he feels the moment Taehyung reaches his climax so he looks up at him, not ready to miss this glorious moment.

Taehyung shuts his eyes, an expression of pained ecstasy on his face. He shivers all over, jolts rocking his body as he empties his release into Seokjin's throat. Seokjin sucks it all, swallows it down like it's all he needs to survive.

Taehyung slumps back, panting harshly. He opens his eyes to slits and stares at Seokjin with something akin to awe.

"Damn, hyung," he says, his voice raw like he's the one who had his throat fucked. Seokjin pulls back, kisses Taehyung's cock before he tucks him in and stands up.

Immediately, Taehyung winds his arms around Seokjin's neck and drags him into a messy, open-mouthed kiss. Seokjin closes his eyes and drowns in it, feels nothing but Taehyung. Taehyung's heat, Taehyung's breath, Taehyung's skin and smell and sweat, Taehyung's galloping heart and the tips of his fingers twirling in the hair at Seokjin's nape.

"Hmm," Taehyung slurs. He drops one hand to the bulge in Seokjin's pants and presses with the back of his fingers. "I'd return the favour now," he says, nips at Seokjin's bottom lip before he licks at the indents his teeth left. "But I'd rather leave it so you'd have to come back with me."

"To your place?"

"Yes," Taehyung husks. "My bed," he bites at Seokjin's ear. "Want you to fuck me face first into the mattress."

Seokjin groans, thuds his forehead onto Taehyung's shoulder and says. "Marry me."

Taehyung freezes under him and Seokjin curses at himself. Fuck, fuck, he shouldn't have said that, he shouldn't― 

"Only if you fuck me as good as you sucked me off," Taehyung says in a teasing tone. Seokjin laughs hoarsely and Taehyung joins him.

"I know I should let it go because I'm making a fool of myself," Seokjin says. "But God in heaven, do I mean it."

This time, Taehyung's pause takes longer. Seokjin keeps hiding in the crook of his neck, and holds him tight around the waist. Just in case he's ruined his chance forever.

Gently, Taehyung's hands frame his head and lift up and he stares right into him. "I'd like to date you first," he says.

Seokjin smiles. "Whatever you want."

Taehyung blinks at him and then laughs. "You actually mean that, don't you?"

Seokjin nods and Taehyung laughs again. "Alright," he says. "Let's go back to the front desk, I need to finish my shift."

He walks a few steps ahead and Seokjin calls. "You're really going to leave me like this?"

Taehyung smirks at him. "I want you wound up so you'll break me in two."

Seokjin hits the back of his head on the shelves and whines. "Seriously," he says. "Marry me."

Taehyung laughs and extends his hand and Seokjin doesn't waste time taking it and threading their fingers.

"So," he says. "Do you have any books about Heo Joon?"

-End.