Chapter Text
Kai is a beta. He always feels like he's a little too flirty, a little too strong, a little too assertive. He's a little too tall, a little too built, and a little too passionate. He feels like society's mistake, the less looked at one. Trash. Worthless.
His sister had presented as an Alpha. Though his parents are gone, he supports her unconditionally. Even if he's jealous. Jealous that he doesn't get to be an alpha. Jealous that she fits in and he doesn't. Jealous that he's a freak of nature while she gets to be looked at in praise.
Nya is strong, independent, and thinks outside of the box. She's the perfect alpha, always working hard and strong and reliable. She always says what she means, and means what she says.
Compared to her, Kai feels like a mess. He's the older brother, and the taller brother, and the stronger brother, but betas are not supposed to be so. They're supposed to be calm, complacent, business-like, direct, and patient. They're supposed to be smaller and not as strong as alphas.
Kai feels left out of society too. There are people with all different statuses, and they're all treated equally in the eyes of the law. (It took them forever to get here, but thank the FSM), but he feels that if you don't fit into the mold that everyone else does, you're a freak.
Alphas are supposed to be strong. Be providers. Be short tempered but kind, heroic in all ways. They're supposed to be the ones who hold up the world on their shoulders, use their strength to help others who can't help themselves.
Surprise: they don't.
They use their strength to overpower others. That's not to say there aren't heroic and brave alphas, but not all of them use their strength for good. There's an equal amount that use it for bad.
Omegas are the soft and kind ones in society. They don't have to be soft and kind, but they're gentle and resilient with a quiet strength. That's what's expected of them anyways. To be quiet and keep their head held high and to keep walking, ignoring anything against them. Not speaking up, never speaking up.
Omegas were made to be seen, not heard, Kai had learned. He doesn't think it's right, but what can he do? Betas were never supposed to be assertive. They are supposed to be calm and patient, kind of like a doormat for people to walk all over.
Kai's sick of it.
He's sick of being a beta, sick of living in a world where your secondary gender determines your status. Sick of being alone. Always alone. Always lonely.
He's done. Done being everyone's patient calm friend. For as long as he can remember, he's never been calm. Never been collected. Certainly never been patient. He's a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.
He always felt like he's too dumb to be a beta. They were supposed to be the smart ones. He's the furthest thing from smart, and while that doesn't bother him all too much, people judge him for it. People assume he's an Alpha because of his size and temperament, attitude and ideas. No one cares what he actually is.
Kai's always felt like the feelings inside him run deeper, burn hotter, and move faster. He's always been the one to get angry first, being overprotective of his little sister made fights prominent in his life.
Ever since the loss of his parents, he's had to fight tooth and nail to keep them from being separated. Alpha homes and colleges always try to take Nya away. Suitors, friends, bosses, it feels like the whole world is between them.
Kai's always been a stubborn child.
He holds onto her tightly, never giving up. They've stuck together for their whole life, living in alleys, trash cans, cars, mattresses, rooftops, sidewalks, and finally in a small dingy apartment by the waste water from a nearby factory.
The brunet can't say that any of those homes were a splendid influence on him, but at least they're together. They stick together like paper and glue, always there for each other.
Nya works three jobs, and Kai works as a hairstylist to keep the apartment. They both pitch in, the rent being split between both of them and their odd jobs.
Nya's three jobs are not hard to get, but they're something. She works as a pizza delivery person, a mailwoman and a part time worker at Chen's noodle factory.
Occasionally she sneaks Kai a snack, such as a fortune cookie or some bread. Something small that lets Kai know she cares about him. The gesture is appreciated, and Kai in return tries to buy her her favorite sweets on the way home from work on every Friday.
It's a family tradition.
Besides paying the rent and buying sweets, Kai has money saved up in a separate fund. This money is supposed to go to Nya going to college. It's a secret, he's been working on it for a while. Kai hopes he'll get enough so that one day she can go to the engineering college of her dreams. She always did love that kind of stuff.
She deserves college too, with the care and kindness she's shown Kai. She's everything to him. His whole family. He would do anything to keep her safe. He would go to the ends of the earth for her, to the end of the world. To the end of time.
Nya is his only family, and it's not easy to forget that. He can't lose anyone else. He has to keep her safe.
Kai looks at a gash in his arm, scabbed over with a thick scab with grooves in it. There are three gashes on that arm, next to each other in a way that they look like claw marks. Claw marks from something bigger than a cat. Claw marks from someone else.
Kai rubs his hands over his scratches as he remembers the fight. The fight of his life. The fight where the loser had everything to lose and the winner had everything to gain. Most people who were the loser would be afraid of losing. Most people wouldn't even step in the ring.
Not Kai.
Kai stepped up. Kai had nothing left to lose and everything to gain. Kai could either go home how he came, with nothing, or fight for that money and emerge victorious. His choice was made when he remembered the college fund.
This is how Kai got his side job. He doesn't just cut hair. He also fights in an underground fighting ring, kicking the living shit out of anyone or anything that opposes him. He has to. It's the only way to survive. The only way to make money in this town without working so many jobs.
It's because Kai has never gone to college, so without a degree, most places won't even think twice. He's interviewed for a least a hundred different jobs in a hundred different fields, only to hear no. Every time it was a no.
Every. Single. Damn. Time.
No matter how disappointing it is, how disheartening it is, Kai keeps going. He can't afford to stop, for his sister's sake. He's not even sure that he can get back up once he's sat down. He's not even sure he can keep going once he gives it up.
The rain spatters on the window, thrumming throughout the old apartment building that smells of weed and old perfume. The walls of the apartment are peeling and yellowed with age. The air conditioning barely works, and the heat is all but non-existent.
As the rain pours down outside, Kai can't find it in him to even be upset. He deserves this after all. At least he has Nya.
He deserves the pain, the rain, the death threats at work and the price of the train. The way that society works doesn't account for family, for friends, for people. For the ways and mistakes of life. For being human.
“Kai?” Nya asks gently, stirring him out of his thoughts slowly, like an object full of air floating upwards in water.
“Hmm?” He looks up, his brown eyes locking in on her hazel ones.
“Are you okay? You seem stressed. Well, more than usual,” She inquires, looking at him in earnest. That's a question he hasn't heard in a long time.
Is he okay? Is he really? What defines okay? Is it breathing? Living? Going through the motions? Or is it happy, alive, joyful and fun?
Kai wishes he knows the answer, but he's not quite sure of most anything anymore.