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Language:
English
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Published:
2021-03-19
Words:
346
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
6
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211
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Pleasure Doing Business with You

Summary:

"All of the qualities you've described so far just make him sound like a prat."

"Is that not the type of person you tend to date?"

"The only person I've been in a long-term relationship with is your brother."

"I rest my case."

"I broke up with him."

"But not because he was a prat."

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

"...You should still give him a chance."

"Why is this so important to you?"

"He and Harry have gotten really close. If you two got together, we could go on double dates!"

"The four of us already go to the pub together every Friday."

"But it would be different if you were dating."

"How?"

"Never mind. He's exactly your type."

"All of the qualities you've described so far just make him sound like a prat."

"Is that not the type of person you tend to date?"

"The only person I've been in a long-term relationship with is your brother."

"I rest my case."

"I broke up with him."

"But not because he was a prat. You said the sex was bad."

"I was drunk. I shouldn't have told you that."

"Well, I have it on good authority that that wouldn't be a problem with him. If you know what I mean."

"A flobberworm would know what you mean. Who is this 'good authority?'"

"Well, ask anyone."

"So I should date him because he'll sleep with anybody?"

"That's not what I said. Look, it wouldn't kill you to give it a try."

"Neither would a colonoscopy, but I'm not volunteering for that either."

"A what?"

"It's a muggle medical procedure. They put a….never mind. You're awfully pushy tonight."

"Not really."

"You put money on this, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

"How much?"

"Harry would owe me 50 galleons."

"I'll split it with you."

"Deal."

"Pleasure doing business with you."
___
"Are you going to tell her?"

"Tell her what?"

"That we've been together for six months and they're just too oblivious to notice?"

"You would think they'd have noticed us leave together every week."

"They walked in on us snogging and believed you when you told them I tripped and fell on you. With my mouth. In the women's restroom."

"Our friends are kind of dumb, aren't they?"

"So, are you going to tell her?"

"Maybe after she pays me."

"How much?"

"25 galleons."

"I'll split it with you."

"And a kiss."

"Deal."

"Pleasure doing business with you."

Notes:

Just a super short, super silly situation that popped into my head. Thanks for reading!