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The LadyBlog
*We owe the heroes of Paris a thousand times over, and yet we know nothing about them. The following page is full of video snippets of our heroes when their not battling Akumas; submitted by the people of Paris. The hope is that we can get to know the people who spend their lives saving us a little better.
All heroes are featured here,
Ladybug is the ladybug hero with the power of creation
Midnight is the black cat hero with the power of destruction
Altinin is the dragon hero with the power of perfection
Simian is the Monkey hero with the power of derision
Multimouse is the mouse hero with the power of multiplication
Teumessian is the fox hero with the power of illusion
Be advised any video including Midnight will likely have swearing*
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On a rooftop somewhere in Paris, Simian is hanging off of a trellis while LB and Midnight sit on the edge of the roof.
"I just think its cute that your so pint sized" Midnight laughs, ruffling LBs hair.
LB swats his hand away lightly "Honey, I can't control that the earrings make me smaller, and I will punch you if you continue to insinuate that I am anything other then dangerous"
"But your just so small and adorable" Midnight whines softly.
"I am aware Dove. But I suggest you shut your beautiful face before I smash it in." LB growls playfully.
"Please, Please stop flirting. I can't deal with the flirting. Please, I'm still here" Simian wails jokingly, dramatically throwing himself off the trellis onto the roof.
"Then go somewhere else Sim" LB and Midnight sigh in perfect unison.
"Oh god" Simian cries dramatically covering his eyes like a Victorian lady. "Now your synchronized, why did we ever let you get married"
"you didn’t" Midnight says haughtily rolling his eyes. LB laughing softly beside them.
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After a battle LB, Midnight, Simian, Teumessian, and Altinin stand in the courtyard of Francois Dupont.
LB sighs tiredly "How on earth do the four of you ever get anything done, squabbling like that. You're starting to give me a headache.
Midnight moves in beside LB, wrapping his arms around her waist, leaning down to whisper softly. "I think I can be convinced to keep the arguing to a minimum, for a reward" winking lightly at the end.
LB slams her elbow into his diaphragm. "you're gonna stop arguing because you were asked. You know how I feel about rewarding bad behaviour."
Midnight whines softly "you'd be rewarding my good behaviour, in not arguing with my brothers. And you know how much I love your rewards."
Teumessian makes a gagging face "Ewwwww, Please stop, I'm begging. God, I'm gonna hurl" .
Altinin unsheathes his sword slightly growling "If u do not cease your abhorrent display, you will both feel the wrath of my blade".
"Midnight" Simian exclaims loudly "We are in a SCHOOL, There are little ears."
"Baby, I'm gonna have to agree with Simian on this one" LB says patting Midnights shoulder lightly "Keep the comments at home, they're for my ears only."
Simian whines "Please don’t. We live with you, and we have ears. I am begging you to just not"
Midnight huffs softly "I am being ganged up on here, and I don’t like it. I am an adult and can do whatever I fucking please, whenever I fucking please."
"Language" The others say in unison "were in a school"
Midnight looks quickly between them "You just all did that at the" He cuts himself off "Nope I'm not even thinking about that."
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During patrol Midnight, LB and Simian stop to take a rest on a rooftop.
LB looks towards Simian "I haven't asked how your doing in a while simian."
Simian laughs softly "we life together I didn't think I needed to give you a life update but I guess that’s why you're my favourite little sister. What about you?"
LB laughs along with him "Favourite sister? Don’t let Midnight Jr. hear that. She'll be so sad."
Midnight growls "If you make her sad I will stab you, you little fuck"
LB sighs "Be nice to your brother honey"
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Altinin, Teumessian and LB stand on a rooftop during their patrol after Teumessian stopped suddenly.
"I just realized that you and I are the least close of the group LB" Teumessian says softly.
LB scoffs "You don’t actually believe that right. You're my brother in law and my best friend."
Teumessian looks at LB softly "Exactly, I'm you're brother in law".
"You're forgetting the crucial part of my statement, that being 'and my best friend'. Who else would hack into the pentagon with me" LB says firmly.
"Altinin would do that with you" Teumessian gestures to Altinin beside him.
"I assure you I would not, it is not an activity my amek and I participate in together" Altinin scoffs
"Teusm, I listen to your sleep deprived rants. Do you know how close you have to be to a person to do that. You tried to convince me that Superman was an alien" LB explains gently.
"But Superman is an alien" Teumessian questions.
"I believe that is the point. You tried to convince Ladybug of something that is common knowledge to any person with a modicum of intelligence. A piece of information that she is fully aware of" Altinin clarifies.
"Oh" Teumessian replies dumbly.
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Grainy security footage of Midnight and Ladybug sitting on the very tip of the Eiffel Tower.
"Its been a while since I got to hang out with my favourite brother." Ladybug remarks, her feet swinging over the edge.
"I'm you're only brother, I better be your fucking favourite." Midnight scoffs.
"Don’t let simian or Teumessian hear you, you know that their my brothers too." Ladybug chastises, resting her head on Midnights shoulder.
"Like hell they do, you're my fricking sister. I called dibs first." Midnight growls.
"Hey, lil sis" Simian yells, appearing suddenly from behind them.
"Hey Simian" Ladybug laughs.
"NOPE" Midnight screams, "She is MY SISTER! So you better fuck off before I make you."
"I think that’s my queue" Simian remarks before bolting off, Midnight chasing after him.
Sighing heavily Ladybug mutters "Why is he so overprotective."
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On a rooftop across from Francois Dupont, LB, Midnight, Teumessian, Simian and Altinin are crouched together watching the school.
"Mom, I don’t see the point in this frivolous activity" Altinin grumbles.
"Did he just call you mom??" Simian asks bewildered.
"Have u been living under a rock for the past more then a decade? He's been calling me that since he was a little kid." LB remarks before turning to Altinin "Of course theirs a point. Its just need to know, and you don’t need to know." she says as she pats Altinin on the head.
"What in a school could even be of interest to us" Altinin continues grumbling, swatting LBs hand away.
"Do I look like your history professor" LB quips.
"That response doesn’t even make sense given my inquiry" Altinin bemoans.
"When is the gremlin gonna stop talking like an eighty year old man." Midnight questions boredly.
"Midnight, don’t be rude" Simian chastises.
"Quit mother henning" Midnight snarks.
"I am not mother henning" Simian exclaims offended throwing his hand over his forehead dramatically.
"The fuck you aren't" Midnight snaps.
"Language" Teumessian, and Simian say together.
"He can swear if he wants, were not near any children" LB laughs rolling her eyes lightly.
"Don’t encourage him Bug" Teumessian groans.
"Teums, if it gets him to stop arguing ill take it, you lot give me a headache." LB remarks.
"Everything gives you a headache, lil sis" Simian laughs.
"Only when I'm around you buffoons" LB whines.
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Midnight and Teumessian are seated on a roof snacking lightly on their break from patrol.
"So replacement, you got anything interesting for me" Midnight asks.
"We live together, I cant think of any gossip you wouldn’t already know." Teumessian answers.
"your my gossip source on the fam Teums, also I meant if you'd managed to find a girlfriend or boyfriend, I don’t judge." Midnight clarifies.
"No, I'm half expecting Altinin to appear with some older sibling for me to date, considering two out of three significant others are somehow related to someone else in the family. And the only reason Simians isn't is cause he's married to a fucking Alien" Teumessian jokes half heartedly.
"Fuck, I didn’t even think of that." Midnight laughs "How many years younger then me are you again"
"Thirteen. Why?" Teumessian says cautiously.
"just thinking that that might be an actual possibility" Midnight laughs.
"what's an actual possibility? Me dating someone related to the family" Teumessian asks confused. Midnight nods lightly. Teumessian face scrunches in horror "How do you know that? Oh god, did you sleep with Altinin's mother?" He asks incredulously.
Midnight laughs "No, actually maybe, cant really remember, but not what I meant."
"That women needs to stop drugging us" Teumessian says annoyedly before freezing. "What exactly did you mean? Do you have a kid?"
Midnight freezes laughing scardly "Nooooooo, why would you think that. Of course not."
"You have a kid" Teumessian screams, his face twisting in thought mumbling softly "within three years of me…. Born in….. You left at…… and dating since…. HOLY SHIT, You and LB have a kid!"
Midnight stands up and bolts off the roof "Bye". Teumessian chasing after him.
The clip then switches scenery the videos clearly being spliced together. Midnight is sitting on a random roof as LB touches down.
LB raises an eyebrow at Midnight, arms crossed over her chest. "Do you want to explain why Teumessian asked me if we have a kid? My brother nearly had an aneurysm. What happened to 'We can never tell them, Simian will mother hen until the day he dies.' Did you somehow get possessed by some truth spell, cause you better fucking have" LB growls, prowling closer to where Midnight is sitting.
Midnight visibly gulps before shooting up and across the roof, running away at top speed, yelling "SORRY!" over his shoulders as he goes. LB doesn’t follow, just stands scowling, a low growl escaping her throat.
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Altinin and Multimouse are seated next to each other on a roof, her head on his shoulder.
"How's your not mom and your cacophony of brothers been doing" Multimouse asks softly
"My brothers continue to be imbeciles, as always. My amek is doing wonderfully as always. She has also been increasingly entertaining as she is more frequently using her ability to prank on the imbeciles. How about you angel" Altinin responds softly, running his hands against her arm.
"I'm perfect now that I have my person at my side" Multimouse says as she kisses his cheek before standing up and running off "YOU COMING SLOW POKE?" yelled as she goes.
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Simian and ladybug are hopping around rooftops, the camera following from above at a distance.
"So how's my favorite little sister" Simian asks lightheartedly.
Ladybug laughs "Don’t let Midnight hear you, she'll be jealous"
"well he can screw off" Simian replies
"Didn’t mean Midnight, I meant my nickname for your little sister." Ladybug clarifies.
"Shit, ya, she'd kill me" Simian murmurs terrified.
Ladybug cackles in response.
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All of the team are gathered in the street after an akuma.
"How on earth did you two get covered in cement, that wasn’t even a difficult akuma" LB and multimouse said incredulously in unison, rubbing their noses with their thumb and pointer finger.
Teumessian (not covered in cement) leans over to Midnight and Simian (covered in cement). "Im not the only one that’s seeing that, right? Right?".
Midnight grimaces "Oh I see it. And its fucking creepy, does this mean I have a thing for my sister, cause eww".
Altinin scoffs, "Their sisters what did you expect".
Simian shivers lightly "Still creepy".
"I need so much more coffee for this" Teumessian groans.
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Altinin and Ladybug sit on a roof with her in his lap and his arms wrapped around her. His face resting into her neck.
"We've both been so busy lately, its nice to just sit with you on a roof and enjoy the calm." Ladybug says softly.
"Indeed, being without you causes my heart immense pain" Altinin agrees.
Ladybug turns in his lap, straddling him. "Oh Definitely" she says before kissing him softly. A hand lands harshly on her shoulder pulling her away.
Midnight growls, his hand still on Ladybugs shoulder. "Get away from my sister gremlin." He pulls her away and off the roof.
"YOU CAN'T KIDNAP MY GIRLFIREND MIDNIGHT" Altinin yells from his place on the roof.
"SHE IS MY SISTER, SO YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR GRIMEY PAWS OFF" Midnight calls from a few roofs over.
Altinin shakes his head lightly mumbling to himself "I'm your brother too, why am I getting the shovel talk?"
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*This ever growing collection of snippets raises a lot of questions as to the relationships between the team. I've included all the relationships I've been able to pick out from the existing videos.
Ladybug and Midnight are married
Midnight, Altinin, Simian, and Teumessian are brothers
Ladybug is Simians little sister
Ladybug and Teumessian are best friends
Ladybug is Altinin's mother
Ladybug and Midnight are siblings
Altinin and Multimouse are dating
Multimouse and Ladybug are sisters
Altinin and Ladybug are dating
All these relationships are confusing and contradicting, maybe theirs some validity to Teumessian's statement that their all dating relatives. I certainly need some damn answers cause like did we go back to a time where people married their cousins cause wtf. And like the other frankly ridiculous amount of information that these videos have slapped us with is insane. I'm confused. Paris is confused. The world is confused. Miraculous team we NEED answers.
Like are Midnight and Ladybug married or siblings. And are Altinin and ladybug dating or parent and kid. I feel like I'm playing a very unfun game of siblings or dating and somehow the answer is both. And why and how is Altinin dating his brothers sister, isn't that just YOUR sister.
WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THIS TEAM. WHAT THAT FUCK!!!!!!!
- Alya Cesaire, LadyBlog founder.
