Chapter Text
A boom comes through coms loud enough to make even Maria Hill wince and she stumbles back slightly, stunned to hear the high-pitched ringing coming through the ear piece, then she remembers who was on the mission.
‘Romanoff’ she shouts, kicking one of the Junior Agents off a computer desk on the bridge of the Heli carrier and trying in vain to get Nat’s tracker working.
‘Romanoff answer me. Natasha come in’ she yells, tapping furiously on the keys.
‘Nat’ she tries again but still nothing ‘Come on Romanoff, any day now’ she pleads. Then quietly at the other end of the coms a soft crackle comes across.
‘Damn Hill, I didn’t think you’d miss me that much’ a weak and smirking voice comes through the speakers to the Heli carrier and a short cheer goes around (Agent Romanoff is a very useful Agent)
Maria rolls her eyes, trying to calm herself down internally ‘Yeah, Yeah Romanoff we both know that isn’t true’ she jokes, Nat chuckles.
‘You wound me Ria’.
‘and you nearly just gave me a heart attack, so I’d say we’re even’ the Commander replies then hears a pained gasp on the other side of the line along with some gun shots
‘Where are you hurt Nat, we’re on your way’ she calls as the Jet starts to dip below the cloud.
‘oh no, no I’m fine’ Nat gasps.
‘no you are not’.
‘I may have got shot…?’ Nat says slowly.
‘Is that a question or a fact?’
‘fact. Definitely was only shot once. Only once. Defiantly only shot with a single bullet'
‘I know you’re lying Romanoff your big idiot’ Maria shoves her head in her hands and calls medical, letting them know they’ll need a stretcher ready when they land.
‘Just keep talking, we’re on our way’ Maria calls as people scurry around, preparing to land for evac.
‘its your fault really’ Nat says and Maria gasps dramatically.
‘excuse me?’
‘you are at least 80% of my common sense’ Nat replies quickly, and Maria rolls her eyes
‘we both know that’s not true’.
‘yes, it is’
‘im at least 95%’ Maria smirks and Nat groans in response
‘it hurts’
‘well then tell me where you are shot’.
‘shoulder, leg and forearm’
‘three bullets’ Maria shouts and Nat squeaks in response
‘ahhh shit it hurts, like really hurts’ she groans, and Maria’s blood runs cold. They both know the job is dangerous, that there’s a chance they wont come back but they’re the Black widow and Commander. They always come back.
‘stay with me Romanoff’ Maria pleads
‘tell me some good news Ria, I need something good’ Nat’s noise is becoming fainter and fainter and Maria remembers the call this morning and letter waiting for them at home.
‘They called Nat’ she says quietly ‘агентство по усыновлению позвонило’
There’s silence from the other end of the line and in the Heli carrier as the Agents turn to the few who know Russian to translate
‘you’re joking’ Nat whispers
‘no Tasha, no im not’ Maria replies softly, putting on a headset and mic, making their conversation private.
‘we’re having a baby’ Nat says.
‘We’re having a baby’ Maria repeats, then remembers the call ‘well a child, she’s 6’.
‘She?’
‘she. Her name is Anya’ Maria laughs and Nat giggles softly.
‘carry on talking, the pain is going away’.
‘o.. okay’ Maria says, trying not to cry in front of all her Junior Agents, how she’d imagined telling Nat one of their biggest dreams had come true she didn’t know, but didn’t expect it to be this… public.
‘Her name is Anya Rose Halling and she’s 6, she has blonde hair and blue eyes, she’s a bit small for her age but in care at the moment after her parents got taken in by social services’.
‘poor girl’ Nat mummers as the bridge door slams opens and Bobbi stands there.
‘I hear a quinjets was just released for emergency extraction and they needed a Russian translator on the bridge asap’ she looks around confused ‘what’s happened?’ she sees Maria’s red eyes and runs over.
‘is it Nat?’ Bobbi is one of the only Agents that knows about their marriage- being the maid of hour and all.
‘she’s alive, shot 3 times’ Maria says sniffing.
‘why are you crying?’ Bobbi asks slowly, slightly suspicious as to why one of the strongest women she knows is crying over a few bullets, Nat’s come back from worse-a lot worse.
‘it came through’ Maria says, and her smile says the rest. Bobbi squeals and pulls her into a bear hug, then grabs the headset off the brunette.
‘я крестная мать’ she shouts into the mic (I'm Godmother!)
‘yeah, yeah, whatever’ Maria laughs and takes it back
‘we got you Nat, evac is 60 seconds away, you’ll be there and you’ll get to come back and meet her’
‘meet my daughter’ Nat’s voice comes through happy, but riddled with tears.
‘meet our daughter’ Maria corrects and Bobbi snorts.
‘and my god child’ she adds helpfully.
‘what just happened’ one of the Agents asks as thee entire Heli carrier stares at the Commander and Agent
‘ну, Марія та її дружина, Наташа нарешті отримали новини від агенції з усиновлення, що вони мають дитину, але одна сторона батьківства має 3 дірки в них, тому це емоційно’ Bobbi recites, and Maria laughs, knowing no one speaks Ukrainian on board
‘you said something about a daughter’ another agent pipes up and Bobbi laughs.
‘you wouldn’t believe me if I told you-ow’ she starts but is cut off by Maria punching her on the arm, then adds solemnly
‘and I will not tell you’
‘Quinjets arrived commander, Romanoff is on the way to medical’ an Agent reports and Maria seems to light up
‘is she stable?’
‘yes ma’am’
‘Then im seeing her’ Maria orders and the agent steps aside as she begins to run up the stairs, Bobbi on her heels spinning the weapons that could kill someone in 0.2 seconds as she runs like she always does when shes stressed or thinking.
‘моя душа’ Maria yells as she catches sight of the stretcher and reaches Nats side quickly, looking down at her sadly.
Natasha’s uniform is caked in blood, bad guy’s mixed with her own, oozing from the three bullet wounds, he face is pale but her eyes are alive and her smile reaches all the way across her face when she sees Maria leaning over her
‘Masha’ she breaths
‘Talia you idiot’ Maria replies quickly
‘were….. were’ Natasha’s face falls quickly ‘were you lying to keep me alive?’ she asks honestly
‘Talia’ Maria ‘we are going to have a daughter, she is perfect and young and beautiful and waiting for us to meet her as soon as they extract the three metal pellet currently embedded in your flesh’
They both laugh softly and then Natasha stops and looks thoughtful for a moment
‘Kiss me Maria Romanoff-Hill’ she says softly and Maria looks around, there are Agents all around the bridge, many eagerly looking at their interaction
‘everyone’s watching Talia’
‘Maria I am about to die’
‘no you are not’
‘urghh, then I could die at some point’
‘in about 5 minutes I will kill you if you don’t get into surgery now’
‘kill buzz’
‘I love you too Talia’
‘yeah, yeah your not so bad yourself’ Nat laughs as she is wheeled away.
The next day Fury announces Commander Hill and Agent Romanoff will be taking 2 weeks off for a private matter.
Bobbi and May just look at each other and smile, stopping off at the Director’s office later that day (on his request) to show him one of the many photos the new mothers have spammed them with.
Then it all goes to shit.
Turns out SHIELD relies extremally heavily on Hill and Romanoff, both for their calm heads and skills. By the end of the first week Morse and May have been on every single mission they’ve run since each and every Agent (1353) were put on a single drugs bust due to paperwork issues. Scientists nearly blew up The President of Venezuela after that put a robot on protective detail with him and the Avengers had managed to fuck up yet again, Stark having had a party and many superheroes turning up at various points of the globe wearing weird clothes and absolutely hammered.
How Hill found out about it Fury had no idea but by the way she stormed into the Base on day 10 of leave she was angry. Very angry.
The door slammed open to reveal Fury crouched over a desk with Agent James, the ‘replacement’ for hill, several Agents in the background waiting to be a)yelled at or b) fired.
’10 DAYS NICHOLAS’ She yells at Fury who winces (no one but her can call him Nicholas)
‘DO YOU KNOW WHAT IVE SACREFICED TO BE HERE’ she slams her files down on the table and grabs the laptop from him, he opens his mouths to reply but she holds up a hand, shushing him immediately.
(little does Hill know Fury has a pager directly to her wife, which he uses in situations like these, checking the message he quickly send ‘help. Your wife is here. She is terrifying. Please save me. You get your pick of missions for a month if you save us. Bring the kid if you have to. SOS’)
‘Right so the Stark shit first’ she orders, tapping open some emails and skype ‘Have you yelled at him yet?’
‘n….no’ James stutters and she rolls her eyes
‘Why not, he is a child you need to yell at him to get through his thick skull’
‘b….b….because he’s Tony Stark, he’s the Iron Man’ James stammers and she looks at him like he’s grown 6 heads
‘wow, you really have never met and lived with the man or you’d know how to deal with him’
‘you lived with Tony Stark’ one of the Agents squealed and Maria just nods as the ringtone of skype comes through the laptop
‘Oh, hey Maria’ Pepper greets picking up the phone and smiling down into it, the anger drops off Maria’s face quickly
‘Hey Pep, how are you?’ she asks politely
‘I’m good, assuming you are calling to yell at Tony so about to be much better, how is Nat and Anya?’
‘Oh they’re well, Anya’s had a few problems being in a family again, but starting to settle in’ Lot’s of mummers of who the heck is Anya and Is Nat the Black widow go around
‘But I am looking to yell at Stark please get him over here’
Pepper grins ‘Tony Hill’s calling’ a screech is heard on the other end
‘tell her im ill, or out of the country, or dead then she wont hunt me down to find me’ he screams and Maria laughs mercilessly as his face appears on screen
‘H…Hello Maria… how are you this fine morning?’ he asks innocently but Maria just calls past him
‘FRIDAY make sure that Stark cannot hang up on me or run away from this call’
‘Yes Commander Hill, Protocol Stark is a fucking baby is action’
‘Thank you’
‘So, how are you?’ Stark tries again, a hopeful smile on his face ‘how are Anya and Tash’
‘Your heard Pepper ask me that a minute ago Tony’ She rolls her eyes as he gulps heavily
‘but I am missing out on a lot being here so’ she takes a deep breath before starting to yell ‘YOUU ABSOLUTE IDIOT. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH BAD PRESS SHIELD HAS GOT FROM ALL YOUR STUNTS? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CALLS AND NEWS AND EMAILS WE GET BECAUSE OF THE THINGS YOU FUCK UP?’
‘n..no’ he starts to answer but she shuts him up
‘no, no, no, no the Adult is talking-you shut up WE ARE A CONVERT COMPANY. WE TRAIN SPIES AND AGENTS NOT NARASSISSTIC BILLINAIRES. YOUR PARTY LAST NIGHT-THE ONE THAT GOT STEVE SHIPPED OFF IN A CONTAINER SHIP TO PERU AND BARTON TURNING UP IN THE MIDDLE OFO CENTERAL PARK HALF NAKED-THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM. YOU NEED TO STOP DOING STUFF LIKE THAT OR YOU WILL BE FACING SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES. YOU AR IRION MAN FOR FUCKS SAKE. IRON MAN. NOT IRON CHILD. GROW UP AND FACE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS JESUS’
She starts to pace and carries on yelling, terrifying every Agent in the room (including Fury) and Starrk for a good 10 minutes before the door opens again and Nat stands there, giggling as she sakes in the scene in front of her
‘thank you so much Romanoff I love you forever’ Fury mouths across at her and she grins
‘Im just in it for the missions’ she replies as Maria spins around,
‘please yell at him for me’ she pleads and Nat’s grin turns evil
‘well hello there Tony’ she whispers, coming into the camera lens
‘aghhhhh it’s a Russian murder child’ he screams and she pulls a long knife out of god knows here
‘Stark if you do that again I will be visiting you and you will be ending up with a few less limbs attached to your body’
Maria face palms behind her
‘I said yell at, not threaten Tash’
‘meh same difference’ she replies airily ‘so will you do it again?’
‘no’ Tony stammers ‘no ma’am’
‘cool’ Nat nods and vanishes the knife
‘that was fun to listen to but we have places to be and more messes to clear up’ Pepper’s face pops back up on screen and Tony vanishes
‘okay, good luck, bye Pep’ Nat smiles genuinely (rather than just evilly)
‘bye Nat, keep sending the photos we all love them’ and the bloopedy bloop noise that signifies that they’re hanging up sounds and Maria shuts the laptop
‘Where is the paperwork that’s full of mistakes?’ she asks simply and Fury hands her a huge box
‘thanks’
‘you’re just going to take that home?’ Agent James asks
‘well yes, I am needed there as well as here but I can fix all your mistakes while still having a private life’ she frowns at the man that turns to Fury
‘can I?’
‘Go ahead’ he gestures
‘You’re fired’ she grins suddenly and he splutters in response.
Then Nat’s phone pings, she reads the message quickly then turns to Maria
‘Its Bobbi and May they says and I quote “come and get it. I think we’ve broken it. It wont stop crying”’
Maria roll her eyes and Fury raises an eyebrow
‘May probably ignored ‘it’ and Bobbi tried to teach ‘it’ to spin her batons, you should have brought her here instead I want to meet her’ he does the closest thing possible in a tall, ominous, stoic person to pout
‘meet who? Who is she? And it?’ an Agent calls out and all the others nod
‘Yeah, who’s Anya?’ another asks and an ‘oops’ comes from the door. Bobbi stands there, the faint noise of crying coming from behind her
‘for fucks sake Morse, we’re on our way down, you could have waited’
‘oops’ Bobbi says again and turns around but is too slow to stop a small explosion of blonde hair and gangly legs throws herself onto Maria and Nat’s legs
‘mama, mummy!’ she shouts and both of the women turn bright red
‘and that is our cue to leave’ Maria chokes out and Bobbi hold back one of her explosive laughs
‘bye Pirate’ Nat snorts and picks up Anya, who immediately starts fiddling with her long red hair. Maria grabs the box of files and both woman stagger out, all three chatting away in rapid Russian (much to the joy of the eavesdropping May, Bobbi and Fury, the only ones who know the language)