Archive of Our Own

“Don’t you ever sleep?”

“Ya saw me stabbed that kid right? Yer smart, ya think that’s a good idea?”

Word had been going around that Scott Fucking Summers had let someone sleep in his class.

Now, if you didn’t know him, one might think it’s not that much big of a deal. But to Logan, who had been taking residence in this damn school for quite a while, and been part of the team for reasonable amount of time, he can gladly say that the statement above, is basically pure crap if he didn’t saw that happen with his own two fucking eyes.

Scott Summers don’t let students sleep in his class, he might as well give a week worth of detention or—if part of the team—extra training sessions just so they could improve their stamina.

If Logan heard the news from somebody else, he would immediately call bullshit, especially if it’s from Drake. But the fact that he himself took a couple of times to blink if he was seeing things right, that yes, there is someone sleeping in Scott’s class and in the middle of his lecture, not a self-study or quiz session. He was just supposed to give a confidential letter to Scott from the Professor, and boy, was he not expecting for the younger mutant to stare at him blankly for barging into his class because Logan was trying to process that shit he saw with his head a little too long.

Granted, maybe Scott didn’t notice.

HA!

Bullshit.

Tell that to that one time where Logan took a moment to let out a yawn because debriefing is fucking boring, next thing he knew, Scott threw a breath mint into his mouth from across the table with such ease and accuracy. One-eye didn’t say anything, but the message was implied, and it pissed Logan off for a good amount of time.

Logan assumed that what if it can be just a one-time occurrence? But based from the countless hidden complains from the number of students who had fallen victim of Slim’s monotonous voice, and as Logan quote ‘How come I get detention while he gets ignored?’. He can gladly answer that it’s not.

“Soulmates,” Jubilee announced one afternoon by the den. Both hands pressed down on the coffee table just to have everyone’s attention. And by everyone, meaning Kitty, Marie, Bobby and his.

“What?” Kitty asked, her eyebrows scrunched in the middle, obviously confused from the sudden declaration.

“I bet he has a soulmate,” Jubilee answered, as if she was making a point.

“Who are you talking about?” Drake asked.

“You know,” She said, hands moving circularly as if to imply that they already know about this person, “That dude sleeping in Mr. Summers’s class.”

“He has a name,” Marie pointed out.

“Either I call him Goldballs or none at all,” She answered, momentarily making Logan remember a certain event where that kid thought the nickname was cool until he realized that it wasn’t, “We’re digressing here,” she reminded them with a wave of her hand.

“You think Mr. Summers let Fabio sleep in class because of a soulmate,” Bobby supplied on, quickly getting where Jubilee was going.

Shrugging, “Well, duh?” she said, “If he’s just under the weather, Mr. Summers would wake him up and send him to the infirmary.”

Soulmates.

Logan has heard about it for a couple of times through the years. It’s a pretty famous genre on those damn soap operas in the afternoon. It took him a while before he realized that those were actually real, ten years to be exact. Logan’s been well of it by now, but he doesn’t honestly know how it works, nobody told him about the basics and it’s not like he asked. All he knew is that it has something to do with sleeping and not a lot of people have it.

It sounds so stupid.

The idea that you’ll go fucking crazy on only one type of person? Seems like you’ll just end up stuck with them, got no other choice, no freedom to choose who you would rather bang. It ruins the idea of freedom if by the end you can’t even choose which one you should fall in love with. This whole fated thing was stupid.

“That…” Marie started but fell silent for a second, thoroughly thinking about it, “Seemed reasonable.”

Logan scoffed.

All heads turned towards him.

“What? Ya think Slim’s that nice to let a kid sleep in his class with that sorta reason?” Logan found himself saying to them, “Believe me, One eye’s just probably sleep deprived,” he flipped the magazine, prompting that the conversation’s finished on his side.

Pryde tipped her head to the right, thinking, “Mr. Summers has always been sleep deprived though,” she pointed out, “That didn’t stop him from being a—”

“Me being a what?”

Speaking of the devil himself.

Summers came into the den while carrying a stack of papers, silencing Kitty in an instant and making Jubilee’s gum to pop. Logan’s mood started to sour, he was here in this room to spend some time to himself, he didn’t ask for people to keep coming and ruining his god damn afternoon, especially with him. It’s not everyday he gets to be alone when you live in a damn school crawling with brats, some are even in literal here.

“Nothing,” Kitty quickly said, trying to save herself while Jubilee opened her mouth to say, “Does Goldballs have a soulmate or something?”

There were sudden silence, the calm before the storm type of silence. Sighing, Logan gave himself a few minutes to think if he should start picking up his ass and smoke at the rooftop instead. He flipped for the next page.

“Is it because I let him sleep in?” Scott said, his tone seemed levelled but Logan heard the faint sound of embarrassment. Like he was suddenly found of something he promised not to tell anyone. He was never vocal about this, but Logan sometimes found himself being able to read the other man on certain occasions at most. Something that he kept on ignoring and will keep on doing.

Jubilee made some incoherent words while shrugging, as if to say, “I dunno, what else?”

Scott let out a faint sigh but long enough for everyone to hear, “I did tell him I’ll keep the news to myself,” he said solidifying the fact that he did let a student sleep in his class because of some stupid thing where fate was involved.

Well, seems like Logan’s wrong on this one, “Didn’t peg for you to appreciate romance, Slim,” he uttered out instead, mocking him like it was in his nature to do so.

Scott turned his head towards him, his forehead slightly creased, “I can be romantic myself if I want to.”

Another scoff, “Sure, whatever,” he said, “Don’t think Danger Room’s an ideal place for a date though,” he continued, knowing just which button to push, and based from the slight tip of his head, he’s doing just fine riling him up, pushing him towards the edge.

Strangely, rather than say something to would turn into an argument, Scott thrusted the stack of papers he was carrying straight to him face instead, “You seem to be in a good mood,” he said, “Why don’t you put that in good use and start going through this.”

The condescending smirk on Logan’s face vanished in an instant, “The fuck’s this for?” obviously not happy with his hands suddenly filled of papers having small printed words on them.

Scott crossed his arms over his chest and look down on him, “You agreed on becoming a Self-Defense teacher, right? Those are the students applying for your elective class,” he explained, “I suggest you do it early and give them to me once you’re finished.”

After sending a nod to the kids, Scott turned and left without another word.

“Doesn’t the fatigue bother you?”

“Not usually, why do ya care? Mind yer business kid,”

When Logan first came into this school, the first face he saw was this guy with a visor covering most of his face, sitting straighter than a ruler near the only exit of the room. He didn’t know bat shit about this place nor the person who somehow knew his name.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Logan can still remember that encounter clear as day. The guy only stared at him with a blank expression, feeling as if there was a lot of things going on through his head but couldn’t, wouldn’t, voice out any of of them. Instead, he told him that the kid he was with is currently safe so he better lie back down before he start rampaging around the place in search of her.

Logan didn’t like him right off the bat.

Maybe because he didn’t like strangers who immediately knew his name, that and the fact that he always seem to carry an air around himself that he knows something Logan doesn’t. He’s an arrogant son of a bitch who thinks of himself as some sort of world renowned leader for the mutants. Makes him wonder how the likes of jean started dating him.

And maybe it was petty of him to flirt with Jean right in front of his face, but that only fueled the fire in him to continue. The furious expression he get to paint on Scott’s face was entertaining.

It wasn’t Logan’s fault that the two lover birds broke up after the event with Magneto at the Statue of Liberty. Maybe it has something to do with him and his flirtatious behavior, but don’t blame him just because a certain guy can’t keep himself composed all because someone like Logan was flirting with her.

Grow up, kid.

They don’t like each other, and Logan’s fine with that. Better, even.

“The Danger Room’s not for nightly use, Logan.”

“Yer such a huge hypocrite, Summers.”

After procrastinating through the stack of papers in his possession (because he left it on his table for a good amount of days until the last minute), Logan managed to categorize which ones were qualified for advance lessons than the others. It seemed off and he’s not a hundred percent sure if he did it right, but Scott’s an OC boy scout who’ll double check everything just to make corrections anyway.

This is fine.

Logan was on his way to deliver the papers back to Slim when he came a across a kid sleeping just outside the Professor’s office, head lolling sideways as he sat on the waiting area. If Logan was about to kick this brat’s foot to wake him, Scott somehow magically showed up out of nowhere and jerked Logan’s foot away.

It ruined his balance for a minute and there was a microsecond where he thought papers would spill through the hallway, giving him a new batch of headache, but he manage to fix his footing the last minute.

If Logan was about to yell at Scott, the brunette was quick to put a finger over his own mouth, as if to inform him not to continue his outburst. It didn’t take Logan to understand that this sleeping kid, loitering in front of the Professor’s office, was the infamous Goldballs.

“My office,” Scott told him instead, voice low that somehow annoyed Logan to the bone, before promptly turning around to start heading towards his office. It’s irritating how the guy felt so sure that Logan would start following him, it’s even more annoying because it’s true.

“Yer being awfully biased,” was Logan’s first words once they reach Scott’s office, placing the stack of papers messily on the desk, causing for them to spill across the top. Logan didn’t fix it, nor even gave it a second glance.

“Couldn’t you have placed it a little gentler?” Scott asked instead, letting out an exasperated sigh before starting to fix the mess on top of his once clean and organized table.

“The kid might’ve been just sleeping and yer just stupid enough to fall for it,” Logan continued, “Next thing ya knew, he’s skipping yer class.”

Scott didn’t say anything for a moment, too preoccupied on compiling the papers neatly while skimming through it in the process, the subtle crease on his forehead told Logan that he did a piss job at it, “That could be true,” Scott answered, having no idea if the guy was looking at him or not, “I don’t have any control when he gets to meet them,” he continued, “But I also don’t want to be the person to wake him up when he’s with them.”

Logan scoffed, “Yer making this a fucking bigger deal than it’s supposed to be, Slim” he said, trying to push some new buttons.

“Maybe I am,” Scott agreed instead. The fact that he wasn’t making any move on fueling the banter made a dampen on Logan’s mood. In other words, he’s no fun, “How many times you meet them are counted, I just think it’s better not to take it for granted,” he continued, and that look on his face sent signals to Logan.

“Sounds like yer speaking from experience,” Logan said, the sudden stillness from Scott was to be expected. He wasn't sure, but it wouldn't hurt to ask.

If what he said had taken the brunette by surprise, it didn’t show. Scott was quick to continue his movements, making it look like the statement didn’t bother him event by the slightest. Rather, after finishing up lining the papers at the corner on his table, Scott looked up and asked, “What do you think about soulmates, Logan?”

Maybe it was just him, but the question felt like an important matter. Should carefully think of an answer and not just spout the first thing that popped inside his head. Logan jerked off the odd feeling inside and decided to ignore the whole thing completely.

“Seems bullshit,” he answered, “Being told that yer gonna be stuck with someone for the rest of yer life, doesn’t sound the least bit romantic to me.”

The slight tug of Scott’s lips seemed so out of place on his face, as if it was forced, “I guess everyone has their own opinion on them.”

It wasn’t said nor hinted, but Logan knew what an end of a conversation was when he sees one.

“Hit the hay, Cyclops, I’ll keep watch tonight,”

“That’s nothing new.”

Logan tried not to be bothered.

It only took him three days before he found himself knocking on Jubilee’s door. He saw the teenager lying on her bed, stomach down on the mattress while reading some teen magazine kids these days pour their time on.

“If this is about the MySpace account, I can explain.”

“That’s not—” A pause, “MySpace?”

“You don’t know? Cool. Forget what I said earlier,” she immediately said, waving her hand as if trying to dismiss the topic quickly, “What brings you here?”

For a moment, Logan wondered if this was even worth it. What kind of advantage would he get from this anyway? It’s not like it bothered him before. But he found himself leaning his hip on Jubilee’s study table instead, ignoring the slight creaking noise the wood made, “This soulmate thing,” he started, “How does that shit work and what’s so big about it?”

She went silent for a moment, widening eyes looking up at him, probably wondering why the guy unexpectedly had the curiosity about this topic. It wasn’t said, but Logan was the type of person to ignore that certain subject (especially this subject), because, well, he’s Logan.

“Well, for starters,” she began, sitting up into an indian sit while closing his magazine and placing it beside her left thigh, “Not everyone has it.”

“Same as being blonde but ya don’t see people bitching about it,” Logan supplied.

Jubilee let out a scoff, “Yeah, sure, Wolvie, whatever works your boat,” she said before leaning back, “And, well, I dunno, the whole thing seemed romantic—”

“What, some sort of fate telling ya that yer stuck to someone for the rest of yer life?”

“I’m this close on guessing that you’re going to kill romance for me soon,” she grumbled before making a face, “And no, that’s not how it works. It’s something like, the universe, or some deity, giving you a heads up that this person is very compatible to you.”

“Riiiight, so ya meet each other and suddenly yev been struck by one of cupid’s arrows?” Logan added, still not buying the whole thing as charming as everyone seem to make it out to be.

“That’s why you get to meet them in your dreams, Logan, duh,” she pointed out with a roll of her eyes, as if the answer was already obvious, “It’s sorta like, the getting-to-know-each-other phase, or the first date, something like that. You just have zero idea when it’ll happen though.”

“Right, so if—”

Jubilee loudly sighed, making it very clear that she wanted the conversation to be over, “Look, man, I’m not some soulmate wiz. I don’t have all of the answers to your questions,” she bemoaned before falling backwards down on her bed with a soft thump.

“Yer the one yapping about Goldballs having a soulmate,”

“There a difference from being aware of it and actually having one,” she pointed out, “You think I know what it feels like to have two balls between my legs?”

Logan opened and closed his mouth. Kid actually had a point.

“Is it always just nightmares?”

“I don’t know why ya should give a fuck if it is.”

“And you’re asking me because?” Hank said, looking at Logan through his round specs, hands hovering over the keyboard of his computer. His movements abruptly stopped due to Logan’s probably unexpected question.

The older man scratched the lower part of his head, just above the nape, his expression's obviously saying that answering that was just an unnecessary hassle, “You seem to know pretty much about vaginas,” he answered, head tipping backwards while he looked down on him.

“What does that got to do with what I know about soulmates?” Hank spluttered, one hand coming up involuntarily.

“Look, Bub, do you or do ya not know?” Because Logan’s not going to waste his time interpreting to Hank why he had suddenly taken interest of that certain topic when he himself can’t even explain it.

Hank stared at him for a couple of second before his shoulders sagged as he let out a breathy sigh. He jerked his head towards the chair right in front of his table, indicating for Logan to take a sit. The older man immediately complied with a slight shrug, finding the situation a win because if it’s not Hank, he’ll have to ask that Fabio kid and he’s not really looking forward to it.

“I didn’t expect you’d take interest,” Hank commented.

“Me neither,” he answered, “Just so we’re clear, I ain’t looking for a full study about it.”

“I’ll try to make it short then,” he answered after a second of silence, “I suppose you already know the basics, meeting them through dreams and the difference between a regular from an irregular pair?”

“Yes on the first one,” Logan answered, leaning back before crossing his arms over his chest, “First time hearing about an irregular.”

Hank gave him a look, “What have you been doing for the past fourteen years?”

“Ten, drunk driving,” was his instant response, “the remaining years, here.”

If the blue mutant was about make a comment, he didn’t continue it, which was probably for the better, “One of an example of a regular pair is actually one of our own, Fabio,” he told Logan instead, pushing his glasses up closer to his eyes, “Once they’re at the age between twelve to sixteen, they meet twice or three times a week, simultaneously. If the time difference is huge, the more inaccurate their sleep patterns are. So I suggest you do not wake him up if he obviously fell asleep on the wrong place.”

It was a warning, Logan knew that. He wondered if Scott snitched on him.

“Now there are two types of an irregular pair,” Hank pulled his paw up and raise one finger as if to indicate that he was counting, “One, age difference and two, different era,” if Logan gave almost zero fucks about the subject, he certainly doesn’t now. Somehow hearing about a pair in both different era’s caught his attention, “The age difference one is a pair who have an age gap with an average of fifteen years. Legally speaking, they’re not allowed until the younger one of them is at that rightful age. How to distinguish them is depending on how infrequent their visits are. The more frequent the visit, the nearer they get to meet. Usually, the younger one started dreaming as soon as they’re born, while the older needs to be at least ten years of age.”

“Well ain’t that a fancy way to know if yer a pedophile or not,” Logan commented with a scoff.

Ignoring the unnecessary remark, Hank continued, “Different Era is a lot more, well, uncommon,” he said, “It’s basically the same as a regular pair but instead of a time difference, you are hundreds or even thousands of years apart.” Hank was making a face, Logan didn’t know what it was or how to explain it. The expression was quick to disappear, he didn’t have the time to distinguish if it’s a sad one.

“Most people call it a doomed pair.”

Or just one big fuck you from the universe. Logan thought.

“Aren’t you ever tired?”

“I don’t think my answer concerns you.”

It happened at night, when Xavier and Scott were visiting an old friend in prison the same time Jean and Ororo retrieve a mutant who was sighted at the White House. There weren’t much adults left to protect the mansion.

A lot of the students were taken that night, Piotr managed to lead the remaining kids into safety while Logan had a very unwelcome reunion with someone he couldn’t give two fucks to remember.

“You want to shoot me? SHOOT ME!” He yelled, baring his claws as the number of armed soldiers started showing up in front of him.

“DON’T SHOOT HIM!” a guy, probably in his mid or late forties came into view based on the voice, walked towards the commotion and looking at Logan like he knew him from a long time ago, “Not yet.”

Logan stared, he doesn’t look familiar, nor does the voice rings any bell. But somehow, Logan doesn’t like him one bit, “Wolverine? Wow, I must admit this is certainly the last place I’m expecting to find you,” he said, footsteps going nearer. Logan tried to get a clearer view of his face but the lights were too blinding, “How long has it been? Fifteen years? You haven’t change one bit.”

No shit, Sherlock.

“Me, on the other hand,” He continued, until Logan can see the guy fair enough to identify his decreasing hairline along with his long rectangular specs, a menacing smile forming on his face as he pushed his glasses up his nose bridge, “Nature, huh?”

Something about his voice made him retract his claws, like some sort of nostalgic experience that’s making his head light. He shouldn’t let his guard down, number one rule growing up like this, but he can’t help but stare. Maybe the tranquilizer dart that hit him earlier was finally working on him.

“I didn’t realize Xavier was taking in animals,” the stranger continued, but his words were only going through one ear and out the other, “Even animals as unique as you.”

“Who are you?” Was what he only managed to say. For the past years, there haven’t been anyone who knew him, and for once, someone finally did.

The creepy smile grew wider, “Don’t you remember?”

Maybe he could, if he took a step closer, maybe the memory was at reach if his steps were a little bit faster. But like someone slapping him back to reality, a thick wall of ice grew between them, and just like that, Marie reminded him that he still have a job to do.

They later found themselves in Boston, visiting Bobby’s folks since they don’t pretty much have any place to go, he tried contacting Jean with that confusing device, but that did nothing, woopie.

After somehow being introduced as Bobby’s Professor (Would ya look at that? A professor, eat that Summers) in Art rather than what he originally teach, and apparently seeing firsthand how a some folks really don’t like their race (especially that rat bastard younger brother of Drake’s), Jean and Ororo managed to contact him, he filled them in on what happened to the mansion and was later informed that the two can’t seem to contact Xavier and Scott.

Right after finishing the call with a promise of the two picking them up, Logan could feel armed men surrounding the place.

Ain’t this day getting any better.

“Drop the knives and put your hands in the air!”

Well fuck, if only he could.

“I said drop the knives!”

“I can’t,” and just as he was about to demonstrate that the so called knives this Bub was talking about were his fucking bones, he got shot straight to the head. Logan was out like a light, but props on the guy, he got a nice aim.

It had been a while, this feeling of darkness surrounding him, when was the last time he got a good rest? It felt nice, for once the nightmares weren’t there to torment him, to remind of the pain he couldn’t remember. He wanted to stay like this for a while, just a few more minutes.

“Logan, wake up!”

It sounded so small and far away, like a buzzing of a bee. Suddenly, his surrounding was trying to be lighter, like a flickering light bulb, trying fix the flow of electricity. It was as if someone was trying to connect back to him, but the bridge was broken and only a thin line was left.

“Wake up! The kids!”

The voice grew louder now, like someone was desperately trying to reach him. Logan turned around but no one was there. Nothing, he was alone inside his head, in the blanket of unknown. But the voice, it sounded familiar, someone he should be aware by now, he have heard this voice a million times over, maybe even more.

“Scott?”

“WAKE UP!”

Logan’s eyes snapped open, only to see the mess that Pyro kid did first thing. Standing up, he saw the Blackbird landing right across the street.

“You can’t smoke indoors.”

“That’s new, ya ain’t gonna tell me its way past my bedtime?”

“I've long stopped trying.”

Jean died, sacrificing herself to save them.

Scott tried to run after her, tried to make her stop, tried to make the others stop her, but none of them can, they could only watch and see what happens through the glass. Logan didn’t like this, he didn’t like the idea one bit, but it’s better than all of them turning out dead.

“She’s gone,” he said, as he watch the water engulf her completely, “She’s gone—”

“No!” Scott yelled, whipping his face towards him, “Don’t say that!”

So he didn’t. He knew how close the two were, they’ve known each other since they were kids, and even though their relationship was long over, that doesn’t mean they never stopped loving each other.

And maybe everyone saw that Scott poured his tears on him, but Logan didn’t care. Couldn’t find in himself to, instead he let the guy and maybe he’ll find this strange in the future, but right now holding Summers seemed so normal. Someday, Scott would blame himself for this, blame himself that the damn broke because of him, and Logan felt like someone should be there to remind him that it’s not.

“She chose you.”

Logan was there, watching Scott as he went through the waves after her death, functioning and doing everything what everyone was expecting for him to do. He pretended to act fine on the outside, immersing himself back into his job and “managing” to pull himself together. But in reality, Logan saw his sleepless encounters, the continuing nights he hoarded the Danger Room just so his brain could stop thinking.

Logan knew what he was aiming for, that he would rather choose the physical pain, the burn of his muscle than feel or even be reminded of it. And he’s ending up like an empty shell, going through the motions.

The death of Jean Grey had taken a toll on everyone. And maybe Scott hid his pretty well from everyone. But Logan’s not everyone. He embarrassingly knew Summers a bit too long to know that him repressing is basically a clockwork habit.

“Are you going to tell me it's way past my bedtime?” Scott said once Logan had entered the Danger Room. He was dripping in sweat and his breathing was ragged, but Logan didn’t point it out. If the kid wants a distraction, he’ll give him that.

“Nah, ya up for another round?”

And just like that, they both fell into that familiar rhythm when they’re both fighting but not against each other. It was freeing for once, the continues slash of his claws while adrenaline coarse through his body. It felt nice, this felt nice. He would be lying if he wasn’t affected when Jean died, and even though this kid in front of him was obviously hurting and no one seem to notice, well, sometimes he gotta stop thinking about himself.

“Do you sometimes think that maybe you’re given a second chance?” Scott suddenly asked after they sprawlled themselves on the metallic floor of the Danger room, panting in heavily as sweat drip down their hair.

Logan scoffed, “More like take than give,” he felt that Scott won’t be saying anything after that, and for the life of him, Logan suddenly wanted to keep the conversation going, trying to stir their mind away from the huge elephant in the room, “I heard Fabio finally met the pretty girl in his dreams.”

It took a while for Summers to reply, but when he did, it was a short one, “So I’ve heard.”

“Ya still gonna let him sleep in?”

The small shuffle on his side told Logan that Scott was seriously thinking about it, “That depends if his grades aren’t affected.”

Logan let out a short but amused huff, “Yer too soft about this whole destiny shit thing.”

“I just try to be considerate for some people.”

One of Logan’s eyebrows raised, “Yer telling me I’m not?”

“Your words, not mine,” he said, and for a moment, he sounded self-satisfied, but no one can be sure about that. But then the silence that stretched between them told Logan that Scott was being reminded of something or someone who wasn’t Jean. This was the second time the team leader felt kind of off whenever the topic about soulmates were discussed.

“Sounds like yer speaking from experience.”

Logan sucked in a sharp breath. He wasn’t serious when he said that before, it was just a comment to put him off, but the longer he lay there, the more it actually made sense. That uncharacteristic treatment he always gave to that Fabio kid when the topic about soulmates was discussed and that sudden break up with his long term relationship.

It wasn’t obvious, and Logan’s probably not sure about this. But maybe, just maybe, Scott’s one of those irregulars that Hank told him about.

“How big is the age difference,” it was Scott’s turn to take in a sharp breath. He knew what Logan meant, especially with how the topic of this conversation was heading, “Ten? Twenty?” Logan guessed, “Thirty-five?”

“Bigger,” was Scott’s short response.

Oh.

It’s a doomed pair.

Slowly, Scott sat up, too graceful even after a few bruising simulation, “My connection to them is near broken,” he said without looking at him. The statement threw Logan on a loop, what does he mean by near broken? So it wan't a doomed one after all? And more importantly, it can get severed? “And I’ll give them a choice if they want to continue or not.”

Logan wasn’t able to come up on what to say next, or was given enough time to think about, the younger mutant was already standing up and making his way towards the exit. Logan watched him as he left, somehow feeling as if he’s missing something. Something that he should’ve noticed by now.

He just didn’t know what.

“No, it can’t,” Hank said a few days later when Logan came in, barging into his lab like he owns the place, “You can’t severe a soulmate’s connection, you can ignore it, yes, but it’ll always be there.”

The older man only stared at him, not making any signs of leaving nor moving. His expression unimpressed.

Hank let out a tired sigh, as if finally giving in, “It’s a rare case.”

“So it’s possible.”

“No, it's not,” Hank pinched the bridge of his nose after pushing his glasses closer to his face, “But, like I said before, it can be ignored.”

“Yer losing me, Bub,” Logan grumbled before leaning back, all this talk about soulmate’s making his head ache, coming from a person with healing factor, that’s saying something.

“Think of a room,” Hank began, placing both paw on his table, trying to build rectangular room with his both his pointer and thumb finger, “Where only two certain people can enter and they can only visit this place when they’re unconscious,” he explained, before taking an opaque glass under his table, “Now, think of this glass as the one interfering the connection,” he said before placing it at the middle, “You can’t completely see right through it, but if you look closely, you’ll be able to distinguish that something is behind it, that is if you do notice it.”

Logan raised a brow, “Yer telling me some people don’t?”

“Because either they’re not aware of it or they’re unambiguously ignoring it,” Hank answered before leaning back and returning the props back to its original place, “The glass can break, but there haven’t been news of any successful pair about it since this is rare.”

Logan didn’t know why, but he could suddenly picture Scott banging through a thick glass, calling the person standing behind it, unable to notice him.

“What’s the cause?” he asked instead.

“Severe memory loss.”

The look Hank was giving him made Logan wonder if there’s something he’s missing.

“I didn’t expect you’d join me tonight.”

“Eh, couldn’t sleep, decided a few run in the Danger Room ain’t a bad idea.”

It happened again, more than he could count.

The next thing Logan knew, he found himself training with Scott like clockwork every night in the Danger Room. Sometimes Logan was first to arrive, sometimes was vice versa. There wasn’t any discussion, they didn’t talk about the sudden routine. It just happened. It surprised Logan that he didn’t mind it one bit.

They started spending time alone, drinking by the back garden. It felt weird that being in each other’s company isn’t as suffocating as Logan thought it would be. They should’ve done this way sooner, if only their first meeting were different. But deep down, even if they met at a different circumstances, his first impression on the kid would never change.

Scott just grew on him.

And he would never admit that out loud, even if hell freezes.

Maybe it happened when they started spending their sleepless nights in the Danger Room, maybe it started when Scott turned to him when Jean died, maybe it started earlier than that, maybe it started years before. Maybe he wasn’t able to notice it because he was too busy being irritated to him.

Scott was still repressing, that part probably won’t ever stop. He was still hurting and he haven’t been the same since the incident, but somehow Logan felt like the guy was now at least trying to take a step and move on, knowing that a lot of people need him. So maybe Logan had let his guard down and was sure that the kid would turn out fine soon.

That was one of his first mistakes

“What?”

“Not that I’m assuming, but you’re making it look like that you like my company.”

“Ya don’t?”

“Sometimes it’s not that bad.”

It was in those moments, where Logan thought they could’ve been out on a date. But being that they’re just playing pool inside the mansion, he didn’t try to think too much about it.

Scott can hold his liquor fair enough, it was odd seeing him loosen up and drop some of his inhibitions. Apparently, when Summers isn’t being much of a Boy Scout, Logan could carry a conversation with him well enough to enjoy it, with a bit of a quick wit and a sense of humor. And right now, Logan’s quite thankful that no money were placed on the table because Scott is crushing him.

“Okay, One-eye,” Logan finally said after Scott made a clean shot, “Why are ya good at this? What’s the deal? Geometry?”

“Amongst other things,” Scott answered with an uncharacteristic shrug while circling the table, preparing for his next shot, “I used to hustle.”

One of Logan’s eyebrow raised skeptically, “You? Hustle?” he said, seeming to have a hard time believing those words. Hustling wasn’t really something you use to define Summers.

Scott straightened up and stared directly at Logan, there was a short silence, as if the younger mutant was waiting for a reaction but wasn’t able to get it, “There are a lot of things you would be surprised to know about me,” he said instead, before leaning down to make his shot and Logan had half a mind not to stare at his ass, “Besides, I’m pretty good when it comes to understanding trajectories.”

That, Logan understood, he once saw Summers’s use his beams in combat, using his line of sight as his weapon, calculating the angles and trajectories just to hit the opponent.

“So when do I get to see those surprising things about you?” and maybe there was a bit of flirtatious intent there, but he doubt the younger man would understand that. That’s what he was hoping for at least.

“Who knows,” Slim answered with a shrug, completely oblivious, “But for now, keep dreaming.” For some odd reasons, Logan felt that it was more of an order.

It was later into the night did Logan realized a sudden shift between them. He couldn’t put a finger over when it started, but he was definitely sure that this felt more like a date now. Maybe it was just him, but he knew what a date is even with a huge chunk of memory was taken out of his head. Sixteen years is enough to know the difference between going out from hanging out.

If Logan’s lucky enough, Scott’s dense head won’t be able to notice the sudden change.

Apparently not.

Maybe he caught his own lingering gaze on Summers’s features a bit too late, or maybe he himself was sending in mixed signals by just letting the kid carelessly brush against his side when they pass each other or not give any reaction if Scott crossed is personal space. Scott was attractive, that part’s obvious, he wouldn’t mind having his way inside the kid’s pants. But Logan just couldn’t. Scott still have a lot of emotional baggage and Logan doesn’t have any energy to deal with that.

Besides, he didn’t peg Summers as a one-night stand kind of guy, he don’t do casual sex.

So when that moment came, where they found themselves falling into silence, looking at each other, as if waiting. Maybe it was his mistake that he didn’t looked away too quickly, but it’s not like he was boldly telling Summers to lean in and kiss him. So when Scott took a step forward, at that exact moment, Logan took a step back. Kid knew what no means and he was quick to make enough distance.

The moment had passed.

“It haven’t been a year, Slim,” since Jean died was left unsaid, “And even if I’m interested, I ain’t looking for anything serious.”

“Right, my bad,” Was Scott’s quick response before grabbing for another beer and chugging it down completely in one go, “I was just… I wasn’t thinking,” this was new, Summers ain’t the type to stutter nor trip over his own words.

“Ya should lay down on the beer then,” Logan commented instead before leaning down on the table to take his shot, he barely missed but it went in. Since then, it was pretty hard to ignore the tension between them, and Logan’s not going to spend his remaining night being suffocated by it, so he spluttered out the first thing in his mind, “They too old for ya then?”

If Scott’s head raised up to quickly, Logan pretended not to notice.

It took a few seconds before he replied, “Age wasn’t really the problem.”

“Right,” Logan cursed when the ball didn’t hit the hole, straightening up he looked back at Summers, “It’s yer piss ass connection, isn’t it?”

Scott’s left brow raised up, “I see you’ve been talking to Hank.”

Logan shrugged, “Got me interested,” before letting Scott take his turn, he was mindful not to cross some invisible line this time, “Ever get to meet them?”

Scott scoffed, “You’re awfully curious tonight.”

“It varies,” he replied, sitting on one of the many bar stool, “So?” he egged on.

Logan felt like Scott wasn’t going to answer him, but after taking a clean shot and changed his position so that his back was facing the older man, the response he got wasn’t what he was expecting, “Quite often than not.”

Logan stilled, “Ya haven’t told them,” he phrase that as a sentence but they both knew it was more of a question. Scott taking a chance on Logan wasn’t something he would do if his fated was someone he gets to meet often, it was even more questioning if Scott never informed the other party about it. Something was off, and Logan’s too small of a brain can’t seem to understand what, “What’s the point of giving them a choice if ya haven’t said jack shit anything about it to them.”

“What’s the deal? You’re getting way too invested in my love life.”

Logan leaned back, “Cuz a few minutes ago yer this close on crossing a line, Slim.”

Scott sighed and straightened up, turning to look at Logan with a neutral expression, “I was planning on telling them,” he answered, “But, it’s quite obvious what the answer would be, especially now.”

Scott may be wearing shades that covers thirty percent of his face, but for some reason, Logan saw an expression for a fleeting moment. The kind were Scott was really trying not to ruin something, because everything’s doing so well, one wrong move might destroy the already fragile relationship, and maybe he already did.

“I like to believe in second chances.”

“Yer telling me this because?”

“So that you should know I’m not really fond of closure.”

His first mistake was to assume that Scott can handle himself from now on.

So maybe the almost-kiss had made Logan involuntarily avoid him. But that didn’t took long, kid got the gist as early as possible and was keeping his own distance, Logan didn’t even have to try since then. It was odd, because they had a routine before. A routine that was never discussed, so it was only fair that it was gone without Logan having a say in it.

Still, that’s doesn’t mean it didn’t hit him hard.

He liked those times, where they spend the night alone just to hang out in general. No obligations needed, it was just a short night where they can relax and not feel pressured on what to come. It annoyed Logan that that ended quite sooner than he thought. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed.

“This soulmate thing,” Logan asked while he was told to give Hank a hand in his lab, much to his displeasure, “Ya can, choose not to, right?”

The scientist only stared at him with a slight surprised expression, it had been a while since Logan last asked about the topic, “Well, it’s basically just the universe telling you that this person is perfect for you, like a spark that won’t die. But it’s not technically a leash you’re tied up to.”

“Is that yes or a no?” Logan asked again, impatient because he didn’t ask for a long explanation.

“Yes, Logan,” Hank finally answered straight to the point, "You can choose not to."

Logan didn’t say anything after that, picking a scratch paper with confusing formulas and calculations that were scratched or had a thick black line drawn across, he immediately dumped it in the trash bin without any remorse.

“By the way,” Hank said suddenly, a few minutes after their earlier discussion, “The Professor told me to inform you that you’ll be going on a mission in Japan, he’ll tell you the details once he comes back with his meeting with the President.”

Logan raised a brow, “And I’m the best candidate because?”

“Don’t you speak Japanese?”

Logan stilled and tried to speak a foreign dialect inside his head, his eyebrows raised in surprise because he can, “I think so?”

“Then I think I made my point,” Hank said in such a self-satisfactory tone, it kinda pissed him off a bit.

Just as Logan was about to leave and let Hank do the remaining task alone, his hand was already an inch away from the doorknob before he thought Fuck it and turned around to call Hank, “How’d the Prof know I can speak the language?” when he doesn’t even know it himself.

“Scott told—” A pause before the blue mutant turned around and look at him, “Why the sudden question?”

Logan crossed his arms across his chest and tilted his chin slightly upwards, “’Cuz just a second ago, I didn’t know I can.”

Hank stared at him, contemplating, calculating. If he manage to realize something, his expression showed nothing, “After your mission, I think you and Scott should patch things up,” he said instead, “You two aren’t as discreet as you thought you were.”

“What’s the deal?”

“What deal?”

“You and Scott, you two were kinda fine before, the hell happened?”

“… Kinda fine?”

Logan came back and found out that Scott had been having a hard time managing his class, in result of the Professor telling him to take a time off and let Logan handle his one o’clock.

It started off as that.

Logan thought he was fine, he was managing well enough before he left, so how come Scott’s back on hiding behind closed doors. He was still trying to do what he was expected to do, but even the kids in the team started to notice that him being in the Danger Room was only self-destructive. Scott was back to square one, and Logan can see how he was trying his everything just to keep things under wraps when it’s obvious that he couldn’t.

It’s annoying that a drink at night can’t help him anymore.

Logan can hear Scott talking alone sometimes at night, he can catch him calling out Jean’s name once or twice, but whenever he tried to stay put and listen. It was as if someone had informed the kid about his presence, putting an end to the conversation. Logan didn’t want to think Scott had turned crazy, but there aren’t enough options laid out on the table. Unless there really was an invisible entity that only the Boy Scout can see.

It didn’t just happen once, it happened more times than he could count. And Logan couldn’t push himself to do something about it because (he’ll admit it) he’s big fucking chicken. He only decided to look from afar, which looking back, was his second mistake.

Maybe the years of built up fatigue had finally came to bit Logan at the ass, one moment he was standing across the hallway, trying to listen to Scott, then the next he was, dreaming. Which was new, it had always been nightmares before.

He was surrounded by nothing but white. Logan turned around but couldn’t see anything from afar. He was sure something similar had happened to him before, only that it was dark and the light was trying burst in.

“The hell is this?”

His question was left unanswered. There wasn’t anything for him to do, so he only sat down and wondered if this ain’t a dream, then what kind of messed up nightmare is this? Then out of the blue, he heard papers… no, more like someone had flipped the next page of a book.

Slowly, his surroundings started to flicker into a place that seemed awfully familiar. There were a number of shelves lined up to his right, but the images were still blinking in and out of his sight, it was hard for him to pinpoint what it was. There was a figure, in between the shelves, holding what looked like a book.

Logan tried to concentrate.

The flickering didn’t stop, but the surroundings were a lot clearer now. The place looked like the school’s library, and standing in between the shelves, reading a book that Logan can’t seem to distinguish, was a bare faced—

“Scott?”

The dream Scott snapped his head towards Logan’s voice, he found himself being stared down by widened ocean blue eyes.

Then he was woken up by Jubilee poking his cheek.

“Did you honestly fell asleep while standing up?” she asked with a tip of her head, sounding far too amused for Logan’s liking.

Like always, Logan answered by shrugging her off and. walking away

“Maybe it’s time for us to move on,”

“Not everyone heals as fast as you, Logan.”

Something was suddenly off, he knew he shouldn’t have let Summers out on his own, but it’s not like that’s any of his business. But that same day, a few hours later, something was suddenly off, like something was unexpectedly cut off clean but he doesn’t know what.

He stood motionless across the hallway.

Something’s not right, it’s like someone was gone. He doesn’t know if it’s only temporary, but he knew something was up, and not in a good way. Was there something he should’ve noticed long before? Something he kept on ignoring? It felt like even if he tries now, he’s already too late.

Someone’s gone.

Those words kept running and running inside his head, he unexpectedly had the urge to go out. But he might’ve been lucky because the Professor told him that he’s going to have to visit Alkali lake with Storm.

Arriving there, he found out two things;one, Jean’s somehow back from the dead, and two, someone was gone, it was Scott.

“Kill me.”

It was mess.

A lot of mutants died, the Professor was turned to ashes just like most, Magneto lost his mutation, Storm became the headmistress of the school and yet Logan’s still here. So many things had happened in just a few days. He was tired, he had enough of people he cares about dying in front of him.

Falling down on his bed with a loud thump, Logan stared at his nightstand where Scott’s visor perched silently. Out of all of the people who died, the idea that no one’s going to use this visor hit him the hardest. He was the last person he talked to, Logan could’ve stopped him, he already had a feeling that he should’ve. If he managed to change his mind, would things turn out differently?

Suddenly, Logan wanted a much needed fresh air.

If it was obvious that Logan was hastily trying to get out and reach the balcony, no one saw him to notice. The night sky was the first thing he saw and Logan managed to suck in a breath. He’s not completely fine, but it helped calmed his nerves.

What the hell was that?

“Didn’t expect to find you here,” Ororo said suddenly showing up from behind, letting herself join in Logan’s attempt at comforting himself.

“I was just thinking,” He answered to which Logan knew it was a poor choice of words.

Ororo let out an amused, but faint, laugh while bracing her forearms on the balcony’s railing, standing beside Logan, “Scott would doubt you.”

All of Logan’s attempt was in vain, hearing that name really did a bang job at him. He looked down and let out a heavy sigh. Gripping the railings that didn’t go unnoticed by the weather goddess, “I was the last person he talked to,” he said, voice low.

“Logan,” she called him, as if egging the guy to turn his face and look at her, “He’s gone,” she told him, and it’s like something clammed up inside him because he hated those words, he goddamn hated and he didn’t ever want to hear it, “He’s gone—”

“Don’t—” Logan practically growled, whipping his head towards her, “—say that.”

Munroe’s eyes widened, suddenly being reminded of something very similar happening back then, back when Jean died as everyone watched it all happen. Logan realized his own action and found himself cursing under his breath before taking a step back and leaning against the railings, a hand covering his eyes.

“You…” Ororo started but couldn’t seem to find the right words, “Since when?”

Logan sucked in a breath, “Realized? Just a second ago,” he answered, “How long? Dunno.”

She was silent for a moment, trying to let the sudden news sin in. Imagine Logan’s own state, he wasn’t really expecting to realize it this way; too late and had no chance at all, “Sorry, I was just… I wasn’t expecting it, especially from you.”

Logan scoffed and stared at the ground, “You and me both.”

Then he felt her stare at him, hard and calculating, “He told me before that you barely sleep,” she said, and Logan looked up at her because what’s exactly her point? “And that I should keep my eye on you.”

Ah.

She’s implying that Scott could’ve felt the same, but Logan already knew that. He was the one that didn’t gave him the chance. However, it’s not like he’s going to tell her that.

“Rest, Logan,” she ordered, “It had been a long day for all of us.”

Maybe this was her poor attempt at giving him space, but he appreciate it nonetheless. Something about her words made Logan drop down his guard and let his eyes fall shut, just for a moment. Sitting down on the cemented floor, Logan fell into deep slumber.

It wasn’t that hard to sleep.

“Took you a while.”

Logan turned and saw Scott standing right across from him in the middle of… nothing. It felt exactly like before, only that he’s not alone and his surrounding wasn’t trying to change into a familiar room. But Logan didn’t care anything about that, he was more preoccupied on looking at the person who was supposedly dead.

“Scott?”

“Didn’t expect for this place to look so empty,” he said, looking around. His blue eyes roaming around as if it was bringing back memories. It was strange, Logan can see how his eyes looked so… sad, “If there was one thing I regretted, instead of waiting, I should’ve just told you.”

Told what? Told Logan what? Was he supposed to know something?

“I tried my best without giving too much that would let you know,” he continued, “I guess that was my first mistake.”

“The fuck are ya talking about?”

Finally, Scott turned and looked at him, his blue eyes still taking him by surprise, “This may be a dream, but I’m real,” he answered.

Age wasn’t really the problem.

Logan felt like he was close on realizing something, he just needed a few minutes, even seconds to get a hold of it.

“I don’t have much time left,” Scott told him, pocketing his hands, “It was really nice seeing you again,” he added before turning around to leave.

Suddenly frantic, Logan tried to follow but Scott seemed to start getting farther away, “Hang on a second,” he called out, “Just give me a minute here!” a few seconds even, he’s close on understanding something. Don’t leave, give him a few seconds.

Scott was getting farther away.

Not yet.

What do you think about soulmates, Logan?

He’s this close.

Not yet.

But for now, keep dreaming.

Just give him a damn second.

“Hey!”

But Scott just continued on walking.

I was planning to tell them. But, it’s quite obvious what the answer would be, especially now.

Logan desperately tried to reach out, “Scott! Wait a—”

In a blink of an eye, Scott was suddenly too close, grabbing a hold of his nape before pulling him in for a hot and bruising kiss. It felt real somehow, but at the same time it wasn’t. Something about it feels nostalgic that Logan found himself kissing back, holding Scott’s waist, gripping it hard as if that would stop him from disappearing.

“If I were given another chance, I’d like to see you again,” Scott whispered, sounding desperate and pleading.

Logan woke up.