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Nagito Komaeda was bad at cooking.
The origins of this were easy to determine from his childhood. Losing his parents at an early age and getting a huge inheritance he was sure he couldn’t ever spend in his life, he quickly got accustomed to eating out and buying himself treats. He watched a lot of cooking shows too, both live and on TV, with chefs literally igniting the food on the plate and making it fly in the air. Needless to say, his knowledge of the topic was a bit… off point.
Nagito Komaeda was good at cleaning, though. He had to be, because his only attempt to hire a cleaning service ended up with him accidentally hiring the Kuzuryu clan’s “cleaning” group… They let him live, by some impossibly good luck, but he’d rather never repeat the experience.
But this was irrelevant now. No matter how good at cleaning he was, it wouldn’t help him to make Valentine’s Day chocolate.
Nagito Komaeda was good at following what he’s told to do. So he decided if he just does exactly what is written in the cooking book, it would turn out alright.
First of all, he needed to remove his luck from the equation. In attempt to do so, he decided to take a walk. He walked a lot, back and forth, waiting something unfortunate to happen. Sadly, icicles didn’t seem to want to fall at him, stray animals didn’t attempt to bite him and he didn’t slip on ice and fall into the dirt a single time. The air was pleasantly cold rather than chillingly cold, barely enough to make his breath into white smoke, and the wind was gentle, not strong enough to blow off his hat and throw it into someone’s window.
Nagito wandered the streets all alone, until he started to get bored, and, disappointed by such a lack of bad luck, went to the shop. The shopkeeper was cheerful and attentive, and all the ingredients were there in the needed amounts. He got the most expensive cocoa powder – because the cooking book told him it was the most important ingredient. The shopkeeper didn’t even stumble and scatter it as he was heading it to the boy. What a terrible lack of awful things to happen – Nagito couldn’t help but sigh in disappointment.
Nothing happened as he got home either. No bad luck as he changed his clothes, and got his cooking book. He gulped as he took out the groceries and put them on the kitchen table. They were challenging him… no, mocking him with their perfectly clean and whole state.
Nagito knew he couldn’t lose to some stupid groceries. He just had to follow instructions, and everything would turn out as it should.
He measured out the exact amount of milk, cocoa, sugar and butter. He used small kitchen weights, a bit larger kitchen weights, and new shiny kitchen weights he bought yesterday specifically for this. He just wanted to make sure it all worked properly, and his luck wouldn’t make those dumb devices show the wrong numbers. Everything seemed fine, for now.
He took the butter, and cut it into small cube-shaped pieces. The blade of the knife was sharp, but Nagito didn’t mind it. If he cuts his finger, it would be the bad luck that wouldn’t affect his cooking. Well, unless he maimed his hand really badly somehow, but he preferred to not think about this possibility.
He poured milk into the stewpot, and carefully added the cubes of butter. Then he placed it on the fire. He carefully checked the switches on his stove, making sure the heat is not strong enough to boil the milk instead of keeping it simmering. He did it sixteen times. His efforts were rewarded, because at eighth time it seemed fine, but at the ninth time it suddenly went up for no reason. He fixed it in time, proud of his little victory, before he placed the stewpot over the fire.
After some time, Nagito took it off and mixed it until the butter fully melted. Then he added sugar, and cocoa powder. He mixed it again… It all seemed to go smoothly. Suspiciously smoothly. He could feel his heart racing, and he wasn’t sure if it was excitement or fear.
He placed the thick flowing mass that was supposed to be the future chocolate into the waffle molds. Then he put them into fridge. He had a backup power battery on a case of power outrage… he got that a long, long time ago, before he even realized his luck was a thing, because they happened so often. But with amount of the good luck he got… he wouldn’t have been too surprised if the tree that would cause the outrage fell right on the battery and shattered it into pieces.
Some hours after, Nagito was heading to Hajime Hinata’s house. The chocolate was carefully packed in the small gift box. It was still light outside, despite the time of year. Snowflakes danced in the air, and the world was so white his eyes hurt. A couple walked before him, holding hands. He hoped to slip on the ground and collide with them. To hurt his legs and his back really bad, and make them yell at him for half an hour for being so clumsy and useless. If something like that happened, he would feel so, so relieved…!
But that did not happen as they walked away, and he was heading to the finish line.
If the snowflake falls on your nose, it will bring your good luck, someone once told him. Nagito bent his back and lowered his head, hoping that will not happen to him. Because he had enough of good luck today.
He stood before Hajime’s door for a good minute. Anxiety was rising inside of him, and he could almost feel it grip his throat. Was that absolutely good and not problematic chocolate making session come back to bite Hajime? Should he just walk away now?
Nagito reached out and rang the doorbell.
I took no more than a few seconds for Hajime to arrive.
“Hello?” – he was clearly not expecting visitors, let alone… him. Nagito smiled, trying not to look awkward.
“Hi there, Hajime!” – he exclaimed, gripping the box of chocolate tighter, almost to the point where he could feel it underneath his very thick and warm mittens. His cheerful look didn’t seem to make the other boy any less confused.
“It’s not like you at all to visit me for no good reason,” Hajime stated, standing in the doorway. He wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t like Nagito at all to distract people of their business, even if they were pathetic reserve course students.
“I wanted to bring you this…” – he lowered his head, staring at the present… his mind registered Hajime’s words as a suggestion to get to the point faster. So he held out the box to the other boy.
“What’s this?” – Hajime didn’t seem any less confused, but took the present without much hesitation. He looked at it as if he wasn’t sure if there was a bomb inside of it, or just a bunch of stinky nasty socks. He didn’t seem to be bothered by it, though. Just… taking it as it was given. Nagito felt his face running hot, almost tingling after being in the cold for so long.
“That’s… chocolate,” – he tried to keep himself nonchalant, but his smile came off a lot weaker than usual.
“Chocolate?” – Hajime didn’t seem to get it.
“For Valentine’s Day…” – Nagito stared aside, trying to not read anything on the other boy’s face.
“Oh…” – it seemed like something finally clicked in Hajime’s head. “I kind of… forgot about it,” – he scratched the back of his head. But now he looked at the box with a bit less suspicion. “Because, you know, I don’t really have anyone I like,” – he shrugged, and Nagito could almost feel his heart drop.
“I’m sorry,” he said, before he could think of anything or understand the meaning of own words.
“No, no, there’s nothing wrong with it!” – Hajime was quick to jump in before the apology could turn into a long self-loathing monologue. “Actually, thanks! That was really nice of you to do something like this,” he said, managing to hold a weak smile. “Because… it is kind of rare of you to do nice things to me, you know…” – Nagito felt his face getting hotter, because it wasn’t wrong.
With a formal nod and goodbye, he headed back to the street. It didn’t go exactly super smooth, but nothing horrible happened either, and that was driving him insane. He got home, safe and sound, and went to bed despite the fact it wasn’t even beginning to get dark.
He didn’t even try his chocolate himself. Of course, he couldn’t be so impolite. Maybe it would be awful, so awful Hajime would hate him for this. Maybe that would be his bad luck.
The thought helped Nagito to fall asleep.
---
Hajime Hinata was nervous the whole day.
He wanted to get it over with quickly. He wasn’t an expert chef by any means, but he had some experience, living away from his parents for a while. So he made a nice piece of chocolate… Star-shaped, because a heart-shaped one seemed a bit too weird for a friendly gift to a friend. Inside of it was caramel, and on top of it was strawberry jelly. It was wrapped nicely, to survive the whole day at school in one piece.
Hajime wasn’t sure to what extent he couldn’t pick the right moment to sneak into the main course’s building, and to what extent he was just avoiding the situation. But the day was coming to an end, so he didn’t have a choice but to brace himself and go in.
Was it even needed to give something to Nagito in return? His chocolate bars were kind of nice… but they were simple, too simple, as if they were mocking Hajime for being simple as well. Was it just a new form of mocking? Hajime shook his head in an attempt to not think about it. Nagito was a weirdo, but he was pretty straightforward in his weirdness; he should give him that.
When he managed to finally brace himself and head to the main course’s building, it was almost evening, and the lessons had already ended. Would Nagito even be there? Hajime had no idea what in the world the main course’s schedule was… as far as he knew, they didn’t even have to attend lessons… That was bad… Or good, because then he could go home and forget about that stupid chocolate.
There was no reason for him to be so afraid. He was just fulfilling a tradition. He knew it was pretty normalized to give friendly Valentine’s Day gifts to friends, at least among girls, so…
When he opened the door, he instantly noticed a familiar sharp-teethed face. Kazuichi Soda seemed to be packing his stuff into his backpack. Upon seeing the door opening, he turned his head immediately.
“Oh… hello there?” Hajime said, uncertainly. Kazuichi was the last person he expected to see, but probably far from the worst. Hajime could say that he was one of the… less weird people in the sea of weirdos that was Class 77-B, and they were getting along pretty well.
“Hello, Hajime, man! Wasn’t expecting you at all, but nice to see you!” – the awkwardness hovering in the air seemed to slowly melt, succumbing to Kazuichi’s large smile. “Do you have some business here or… oh…” – he seemed to notice the large box in Hajime’s hands. For some reason, that caused him to scratch his chin.
“Um…” – Hajime couldn’t even begin to explain himself. He wanted to run away, quickly. He wished he never came here. He would pay to get away from this classroom and appear under the warm blanket in his room.
“Oh, if you’re searching for girls, I’m afraid you’re a bit late! But you know Chiaki’s home address, right? Man, I wish I knew miss Sonia’s… but that one I wouldn’t tell you, even if I knew!” – Kazuichi seemed pretty oblivious of Hajime’s desperate need to disappear from his sight, showing him a thumb, smiling radiantly.
“No… It’s… It’s not like that…” – Hajime wasn’t sure why he even tried to protest, but it came off weak and… pathetic. Kazuichi raised his eyebrows, eyes widening in surprise.
“Then what is it?” he asked, staring at the box. It was pretty large and heavy. Green, with pattern of pink hearts… damn, Hajime didn’t want to include hearts. How did he manage to completely miss that one?
“Um, this is…” – Hajime felt like he wasn’t in control of his voice anymore. “It’s for you! But only as a friendly gift for a friend!” – he had no clue what inside of his small mind told him this was a good idea. Perhaps he just wanted to leave this place as soon as he could. So, he stuck the box in Kazuichi’s hands, as if it was a hot potato he wanted to throw away as fast as possible.
Kazuichi didn’t even manage to react before the loud screech of the door forced both of them to turn their heads.
“Oh…” – Nagito stood in the doorway, blinking in confusion.
“Damn…” – Hajime didn’t even notice how he said it out loud. It seemed like today everything that could go wrong… went wrong.
They stared at each other in silence, as if they were holding a contest of who will make the most confused faces. Hajime’s cheeks went red. So did his nose, and the tips of his ears. If he stared down, he could swear that his toes had the same color too.
If burning with shame were a real thing instead of a metaphor, Hajime would have become a candle.
“Is something wrong?” – Kazuichi was the first one to break the silence. For some reason, Hajime felt like his redness became more intense with each word. He was just imagining it, surely… probably.
“Ah, it’s nothing…” – Nagito smiled. As cheerfully as he always did. “I just thought… Hajime has nobody he likes…” – his voice wasn’t resentful or anything. Just… casual. Somehow, it made it worse.
“No, no, no, don’t get it wrong! It was just a… friendly White Day gift for a friend!” Hajime blurted out. He wasn’t sure why he even kept talking. A small part of him wished to lose this ability forever.
“Yes! We’re just soul friends, dude! No homo! I’m into girls, you see,” – Kazuichi winked. As confused as he seemed, he decided to support him. Hajime should have been thankful for that, but…
Nagito moved further into the class, picking up his stuff. He didn’t try to argue and didn’t say a word. Before leaving, he stared at them for a second, looking like he wanted to, but… his face clearly said he wanted to be anywhere but there.
Hajime could kind of share that feeling.
He didn’t remember how he parted with Kazuichi or got home. The image of Nagito’s face as he stood in the door haunted him, making him want to reach out to the boy, to grab his shoulder, to explain everything. He sighed. Good job, Hajime. Good job.
Why was he feeling so guilty about this? Did he even do anything wrong?
The chocolate wasn’t even that good.
Hajime shook his head. He messed up. Badly.
The White Day was approaching its end, but perhaps it was not too late to fix it.
Hajime headed to the kitchen. Thankfully, he had more than enough groceries left. He used to make Valentine’s Day chocolate for his mom and dad, so the process was not that difficult for him. There was no way he could come up with something that looked like an actual present, but…
When he finished, it was starting to get dark outside. He couldn’t wait for it to curdle, though.
Perhaps hot chocolate was good enough. Yes, it was the only way. He picked up several waffle cups, and poured it into them. Without much thinking, Hajime added some pastry topping at the top. It seemed almost nice this way.
In a haste, Hajime packed the sweets in a bag, put on his clothes, and headed to Nagito’s home.
The door clearly was challenging him, but he didn’t care. He pressed the doorbell like there was no tomorrow.
Nagito wasn’t too quick to come. He probably was expecting visitors way less then Hajime was. When he finally opened the door, Hajime seemed to lose a bit of his suddenly gained confidence.
“Ah, hello there… I thought the delivery would come tomorrow, but with my luck they mess up the dates so often I kind of got prepared… oh…” – he didn’t seem to immediately understand he was talking to Hajime.
“Hello…” – Hajime wasn’t sure what to say.
“Nice to see you…” – neither was Nagito, but his words seemed pretty sincere nonetheless. Hajime gulped. It was the first time he ever visited his… friend’s home, and he kind of wanted that first impression to be a bit more pleasant one.
“It is very cold here, so can I come in?” Hajime asked. And it was only half to break the silence, because it was indeed very, very cold there at the evening. Nagito took a step back, welcoming his guest.
“Should I order a hot tea delivery?” Nagito asked, as Hajime took off his boots and moved forward in the hallway. Nagito’s apartment was huge. And clean. Everything there seemed soft and fluffy, and Hajime couldn’t help but notice the utter lack of any sharp or pointy details.
“A hot tea delivery? Does such a thing even exist?” Hajime asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not sure, but I’m so awful at cooking and making drinks that it better exist if you want to warm up!” – Nagito smiled. Hajime couldn’t see his face as he was leading him to what appeared to be the living room, but he was sure he did. “Make yourself cozy and feel like you’re at home and stuff…” Nagito said, dropping his body on the softly looking sofa. Hajime followed. No matter what the other boy said, he felt weird and tense in such a huge and unfamiliar home… “By the way, why did you come here?” – and the question made these feelings so much stronger.
Just get this over with, Hajime Hinata, it is not that hard…!
“Um, here…” – and he finally handed the present to Nagito… this time it didn’t even look like a present, just a small bag full of half-hot chocolate.
To his surprise, Nagito’s eyes were shining nonetheless.
”Oh, really? You took the time and effort to make something like this for someone like me?” – he unpacked it immediately, and was turning around the waffle cup in his hands. “it is warm… I always preferred warm food over cold because I always feel cold, so you are either the most attentive person ever, or made a very lucky guess, Hajime!” – he smiled brightly and leaned the waffle cup against his cheek, as if he was trying to absorb the warmth from it. Hajime felt his own cheeks running red, from knowing that was just pathetic attempt to cover up his failure… but he decided to not share this information.
For Nagito’s sake, of course. He should keep his moment of happiness.
“Um, and, sorry about what happened in the class…” Hajime spoke, unsure how to approach the issue.
“Huh?” – with any other person, he would have been sure they were playing stupid, but Nagito seemed genuinely dumbfounded. “What was wrong with that?” Nagito asked, taking a bite of the waffle cup. He seemed to like it. Or at least, he smiled.
“Eh, never mind…” – Hajime decided not to push it. “Just know, that really was just a friendly gift for a friend!” – just like this one, he wanted to add, but didn’t.
“I see,” – Nagito nodded, reluctantly distracting himself from eating.
“I should probably go home…” – Hajime couldn’t find a better topic to talk about. “And your chocolate was good… for self-proclaimed terrible cook,” he suddenly added, almost as if he remembered something that was on his mind this whole time.
“I am awful at everything, but at cooking I am extra awful!” – Nagito sounded almost proud of it for some reason. “By the way…” – he seemed to be hesitant. “Do you want to… stay for a bit longer?” – not just hesitant, but almost not believing what he’s saying.
“For longer?” – Hajime raised an eyebrow.
“I’ve had such an amazing streak of luck these last few weeks that I just can’t wait for something awful to happen! But if it happens to you while you’re walking alone, on the cold street, returning from bringing more good things to me…!” – Nagito didn’t seem to be able to finish the thought. Hajime sighed.
“Okay,” he answered simply, making the other boy’s eyes shine again. It was really… dark, cold and slippery outside. He didn’t want to go there. Moreover, he totally didn’t mind a friendly sleepover with a friend.
They spent the rest of time talking about casual things, sharing sweet-making techniques and playing videogames. Hajime tried really hard to do his best and win against Nagito… just to convince him he got some bad luck and start worrying a bit less of course, and not to take out the frustration for how he sometimes behaved.
When it was time to sleep, of course he found that Nagito’s huge house has only one bed. Weirdly enough, Hajime didn’t mind that much. It was big enough for them to sleep at separate sides of it, not even feeling each other’s presence. Of course, Nagito offered for Hajime to take it all and let him sleep on the floor – floor, not coach or bedroll, because Nagito was being Nagito – but he only rolled his eyes and told him to be more kind to himself.
Nagito crawled under the blanket on the left side of the bed. He hugged the huge, fluffy-looking pillow with both of his arms and legs. And fell asleep quickly, too quickly, so quickly Hajime became envious. He watched him lying there breathing quietly in the cozy, half-dark room.
Hajime wasn’t sure what was on his mind when he crawled closer, and wrapped his hands around the other boy. He felt him shiver, from the cold, and that elicited a weak pang of guilt – he didn’t want Nagito to wake up now.
He just wanted to hug him closer, and to fall asleep feeling the warmth of his body near.

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