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"Seriously," Ryuji says, "it's not that big a deal." It was the first time, he'll give the rest of the team that. But this is like the fifth time he's taken the brunt of this status effect. And— "The mouse one is way worse."
Akira still looks concerned, but he nods anyway. "Let me know if you change your mind."
Ryuji rolls his eyes. "It'll wear off!"
"I guess..." Ann says, and casts one concerned look at him before jogging to keep step with Akira.
Ryuji swallows, and since everyone has decided to stop looking at him in his current state for five whole seconds, he cups his crotch with one hand. Yep. Definitely gone.
No one else seems to get why it's just not that big of a deal. So he gets tits and a cunt for a few hours, so his voice changes, so he looks even more like his mum did in highschool. He always thought she was beautiful when he saw photos.
His tits aren't anything to write home about, so lack of support doesn't matter. And really... Okay, he makes a shit girl. Just really bad. A couple of the others have been hit by it on other expeditions. Akira as a girl is a total bombshell. The type of girl who makes everyone turn and watch as she walks down the street. Akira can pull off being a girl. Ann was even taller, and impossibly handsome, the kind of guy who attracts the type of girl Akira was. But both of them had tried to talk to him afterwards about how bad it was. He didn't get it.
He'd told them as much. Initially laughing, thinking they were joking, then falling silent as they cringed in on themselves, like they weren't comfortable in even their usual skins after it had worn off.
So if maybe he'd jumped to take the hit when they'd faced those enemies again, it was just to stop them feeling like that. He's being a good friend.
"What do you think would happen if we left while I was still like this?" he wonders aloud. It doesn't work like the other status effects, so there's no telling what the result would be. It stays for hours rather than minutes, and none of their magic fixes it. Ryuji sort of felt like one of Haru's spells made it last longer the first time she tried, and made his tits more sensitive.
"I don't know," Akira says, slowly. "I'd rather not find out."
Ryuji nods. Akira knows best, of course. It's just... "It couldn't stick around, right? That would be impossible." A rush of heat floods his junk at the thought and. Shit. That's so distracting. He squashes the urge to touch himself, to discover exactly how this version of his body works.
"Not totally impossible," Futaba pipes in over the comms. "You all retain your condition once you leave the metaverse. You recover when you rest, so theoretically Ryuji could stay like this in our world."
The area between his legs throbs. He considers making a bad joke about what Kamoshida would have done with him like this, but he swallows it. Instead blurts out: "Let's check."
The others stare.
His mouth keeps moving while his brain scrambles to keep up. Maybe this is a girl thing. Maybe this is what it's always like for them. "Yeah, I'd have to stay at your place if it sticks, Akira. But we could tell people I'm my cousin until we get a chance to come back in here and wait it out." He flashes a grin. "Call me 'Ryuko.'"
Akira stares right through him.
He swallows. "C'mon dude, it's getting late. We're nackered. And I'm curious, aren't you?"
He thinks he must have stumbled onto a good point about them being exhausted, because Akira seems to actually be thinking it over.
"And what if it doesn't wear off?" Akira asks, searching Ryuji's face.
I'd be thrilled, he thinks, to his own surprise. He pretends to think as he gives a shrug. "I guess I'd have to explain to my mum. But it's not like anyone else would give an eff."
"But wouldn't you mind?" Akira asks, stressing the point further.
Ryuji sags. He is tired, even if he's realising that isn't why he wants to test this. "Dude, we're all beat. I don't think we've got any healing left between us. And besides, I'll be fine as a girl for a week or whatever."
Haru pipes up, her soft voice distracting Akira from his worry. "I don't think it would take much for no one to notice, Ryuji-kun."
Ryuji laughs. It comes out as a giggle. His heart flips. "See? It'd be fine. Better than spending the night in here, anyway." And no matter what excuse he gave his mum, he couldn't handle putting himself in that kind of danger, where he might not come out alive, and she'd never know what happened. Better to face a few awkward questions than risk that.
Akira still looks unsure.
Ryuji sags. "Bro, I'm so tired. Please, dude."
Akira agrees. Reluctantly.
*
Ryuji looks down at himself. The small rise in his chest is barely noticeable under his tank top, but the distinct lack of a dick in his pants means he can only draw one conclusion. "Call me Ryuko," he says, grinning.
"Fascinating," Yusuke says, at the same time as Haru says: "You really can't tell, Ryuji-kun."
Ryuji can tell though, is the thing. His pants fit differently. And there's the lack of dick, obviously, but tiny though the swell of his chest is, it's still his chest. He kind of wants to be Ryuko. He laughs, and again is surprised at how much he loves the sound, even though there can't be much difference. "I make a pretty lousy girl."
Yusuke and Futaba agree without hesitation, Futaba cracking up at the idea and Yusuke ringing with sincerity.
"So," Akira says. "You're staying at my place?"
"Yeah, just—" he fumbles his phone out of his pocket, and gets distracted for a second at the sight of his nails. He could paint them. Try to be a proper girl. "Lemme call my mum."
Makoto and Haru shoot him concerned looks as they leave. He supposes he's going to have to get used to that.
Morgana has made himself busy somewhere else as they're settling down for bed. Probably using the kitty litter or something.
"Do you wanna have sex?" Ryuji blurts out.
He knows it's a stupid thing to have said as soon as it's out of his mouth, and Akira shoots a line of toothpaste onto the mirror as he clenches his fist in surprise.
"What?" Akira asks. Which like, fair.
"I've had sex before," Ryuji rushes to say. It's true, technically. He just hadn't exactly wanted that sex. But he's pretty sure he wants this. "So you wouldn't be taking my virginity or anything, just this body's, I guess?" He laughs, nervously. "It'd probably help when it comes to doing it with your girlfriends and stuff. I can tell you if you're effing it up." He tries not to let his hopes rise. No one wanted him as a guy. He can't imagine anyone more would want him as the worst girl imaginable. Well, apart from—
"Who was your first time with?" Akira asks.
Ryuji laughs. It's amazing how cute his laugh sounds, even as he tries not to think about his answer. "C'mon, you don't really want to know, bro."
"Was it..." Akira trails off, his question left dangling in there air.
"Sorry, forget about it," she says and throws herself into Akira's spare futon. At least remembering getting raped helped clarify things for herself. She really doesn't want to be a guy. "It'd be pretty weird for us to do that. Especially with me like this." She pulls the cover as much over her head as she can while still letting her breathe. "Sorry, dude."
She feels Akira put a hand on her back before he climbs into his bed.
She wonders if she can get periods.
*
Ryuji wakes from a nightmare where Kamoshida is inside him as he is now, but in fucking him his dick is growing back and his balls are shifting out of himself so that they slap with Kamoshida's as he penetrates him. It's not even in his vagina, Ryuji realises as he pries himself from the nightmare. He was still forcing himself on him in the same way.
As he surfaces to true consciousness, he realises that his moans and gasps we're back to how they've always sounded. That he's back to how he's always been. His morning stiffness will go away as soon as he gets up to pee, and he knows it, but he can't force himself to his feet when he knows how things are.
He doesn't get to escape.
He curls in on himself and shakes as his tears fall.
He doesn't get what he wants. He should have known not to try.