Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Return

It was quiet. The room smelled like dust and old papers - time and ancient games. It could've been comforting had his mood been anything but what it was, and it could've been soothing if his heart hadn't been breaking. Without needing to be told, without needing to think of it, he knew that nothing would be able to calm his hurting, thundering, shuddering heart - nothing would make his hands stop shaking, nothing would prevent his eyes from watering….

Hikaru turned the page of the kifu, and nearly winced at the sound of the stiff page rustling. He knew that it was just a copy of a copy, something printed in some print shop, something you could buy from any specialised store. Still, no matter what printing date was written on the covers, it felt like it was ancient, a piece of nearly lost history. The pages felt like they were stiffened by time and could break if he handled them roughly….

Shusaku's kifu… Sai's kifu. It didn't look all that special to an untrained eye, just a mishmash of black and white dots with numbers in them. And even if you knew what the dots and numbers meant, it still wasn't anything special - one kifu among many… but to Hikaru it was a near relic. He knew that many Go players had studied these kifus and learned much from them, to those players these kifus were like guidance from the past, but to him… they were much more important.

His eyes trailed over the game played over a hundred years ago, reading it with skill which came from knowing the game, and playing it until it became second nature. As he followed the path the game had taken, he felt his blood begin to race with excitement. "Sai's hand here," he whispered. "Up down left right diagonal… it's an incredible hand from all directions."

He could imagine how the game had gone, how the opponent had been confounded by the hand. "After playing a hand like this… the opponent would be so blown away by the difference in strength that he'd lose the desire to continue…." He could imagine how Sai would look down upon the opponent as the opponent resigned, not with mockery, not with pity, but with a certain pride and acceptance. Understanding the defeated and hoping that the defeated would learn from his loss.

"Sai…. He's… he's a genius," Hikaru whispered with certain self loathing. "I… I should've let him play more. That would've been better than me playing," he frowned, looking down at the kifu desperately as if trying to make it understand, trying to speak to the man who had died long ago, and to the spirit who had once been with that man. "How come I never thought that until now? Yeah, Toya would've been happier with Sai playing too! I should have let the genius Go player Sai play all the games!"

With a jolt, he came to a realisation. "I see. That's what Torajiro did… because Torajiro, unlike me, was strong enough to try to become a pro when he met Sai… with Torajiro's talent, he was able to see Sai's strength… so he let Sai play…."

Standing up, he stared down at the kifu with desperation. "I didn't know anything about Go and didn't understand Sai's strength at all! I only cared about playing myself!" With self-hate, he brought his hands up to grip his hair. "Even when I understood how amazing you are, I pushed you to the back! I'm an idiot!" He had been selfish. Not understanding Go he hadn't understood Sai, and when he got recognition for Sai's abilities, he had wanted to have similar abilities himself… he had wanted that recognition for himself, for his talent….

"Sai…" he whispered, bowing his head. The dam began breaking, his eyes watered and a single tear drop fell down. It fell to the kifu, causing a gasp from him. Quickly he tried to wipe it off so that the kifu wouldn't be damaged, but as he did so, he found him once again staring down at the game, at Sai's brilliance… he had always looked down upon Sai's abilities, never realising…

"I should've let Sai play," he cried, closing his eyes to hold back the waterfall of tears. "From the beginning… anyone would have agreed… it would've been better if I'd let Sai pay instead of me. All of the games. All of them! All of them!"

With a shaky breath he looked up to the ceiling. "I don't need anything! I won't ask to play anymore! So…!" his voice was rough and hitching with tears, the desperation giving it a tone he had never used before. Sniffling he gathered his strength and tried to be heard all the way up to heavens. "God! Please! Return things to the beginning! Return time to when I first met him!"

"Oh, I know what that is. You can play chess with it, right?"

Hikaru blinked with surprise. Gone were his tears, gone was the record room and the table, gone were Shusaku's kifu. Looking down he found an old, dusty Goban before him. Hikaru had his hands resting on the each side of the Goban, as if he had just placed it down. And on the other side of the board stood young Akari, dressed in vest, polo and skirt, bowing and looking down at the Goban with curious a look.

Hikaru's eyes widened as he looked down again. Underneath the layer of dust he could see spots of reddish brown, as if blood had seeped into the wood. His fingers shook as he remembered that no matter how he had tried to wipe the Goban clean, that dirt hadn't came off - not until later when it had faded on it's own, taking Sai with it as it faded and breaking Hikaru's heart in the process….

He swallowed down a sound which was trying to climb up his throat, knowing all too well that it would be a sob. God had heard him and granted him his wish. He had returned to the past.

I chapter

Opening the Game

Hikaru had never thought as fast as he did at that moment - no Go game and the challenge of reading ahead could compare. He could've sworn that time itself turned slow as his mind burst into thinking.

He was in his grandfather's shed. Akari before him was twelve - which would make him a twelve-year-old as well. He was in sixth grade, he was short, he was on the soccer team, he had failed his social studies test, he… he didn't play Go. He hadn't met Toya or Waya - heck, he hadn't even met Kaga, Mitani or Tsutsui yet! He hadn't been an insei and he certainly wasn't a pro - just a twelve-year-old brat who had broken into his grandfather's shed to steal something to sell because his allowance had been cut due to bad test results.

His fingers clutched onto the bloodstained Goban before him. To think that he had once wanted to sell Sai's Goban for some pocket money. The Goban was priceless, not only was it over a hundred and forty years old, it had been Honinbo Shusaku's Goban. The age alone made it expensive, but the fact that Honinbo Shusaku had played with it…

But scratch that. Sai. Sai was in the Goban, just waiting for him to announce that he could see the stains, that he could hear Sai's voice, that he would be an ideal host for the thousand-year-old spirit. Sai wouldn't know him, to Sai he would be a stranger who just happened to be able to receive the spirit, so it wasn't exactly his Sai, but it was still Sai… and he was waiting for Hikaru.

"Hikaru?"

The boy's fingers held onto the Goban tighter. He had a chance to make things right. He would allow Sai play - he would always allow Sai play, as much as the spirit wanted, so much that he would get sick of it… this time Hikaru would never deny the spirit. He wouldn't be selfish, he wouldn't put himself first because he was nothing compared to Sai. The ghost deserved to play and Hikaru would be damned if he would stand in the way of Sai's genius - he would shun that brilliance no more.

"Hikaru, are you alright?"

"Huh?" Hikaru snapped out of his thoughts, looking up at the girl who was still bowing to look at him and the Goban. Akari was looking at him with a worried look on her face, the kind of look she used to give when she was slightly spooked.

"You've been staring at the chess board for a while now," Akari frowned

"It's not a chess board, you dummy," Hikaru said, feeling a bit outraged. But of course she wouldn't know, this was a time before she had taken interest in Go - interest which she had taken from his example…. Shaking his head, he looked up at the girl with a half amused and half worried look upon his face. "It's a Go board, a Goban. People play Go with it."

"That old men's game?" she asked with confused look. "Geez."

"Old men's --!" Hikaru nearly started to snarl, but stopped. Before Sai, he had thought that too - before Sai, the Go lessons and most of all the first meeting with Toya Akira, he too had thought that Go was nothing but a boring game which old men played in their retirement. She would probably get suspicious if he would defend the game he had previously loathed.

"Well, I guess so," he muttered awkwardly instead and looked down at the board again. What to do? How had it happened last time? He had started to clean the board because it had been dusty, and then he had seen the stains… he hadn't been able to remove the stains and when he had complained about it, Sai had heard him… and possessed him, kind of. And when Hikaru had collapsed, Akari had screamed for Grandpa, who had called in an ambulance….

Grimacing at the thought of going to hospital again - the tests they had taken last time hadn't been exactly fun. He didn't want that to happen again - it would just cause unnecessary worry and spook Akari - as much as he enjoyed teasing the girl she had acted all worried and motherly for weeks last time. He needed to do it another way this time, in a way that he wouldn't worry anyone and allow him to get Sai comfortably… and not only that, but he needed to get the Goban itself - so that he could check the stains later to make sure that Sai wouldn't fade this time.

Quickly looking back to the box from where he had gotten the Goban from, he found the wooden bowls holding the stones. Quickly taking the bowls, he handed them to Akari. "You carry these and I'll carry the board."

"Huh? But Hikaru…" Akari frowned worriedly while taking the bowls. "Should we really be doing this?"

"It's fine, Akari," Hikaru grinned in way he hoped to be assuring. "We'll be quick and sneak out. Grandpa will never notice us."

"But Hikaru…"

"It's fine, I promise," Hikaru winked and quickly took the Goban in his arms. It was a good thing that it wasn't as tall as some Gobans were, or his twelve-year-old body wouldn’t have been strong enough to carry it. "Do this favour for me and I'll pay you back someday, okay?"

The girl sighed and reluctantly nodded. Hikaru grinned with relief and quickly carried the Goban towards the stairs leading down from the shed's second floor. Carefully stepping the steps down, taking extra care because of the precious load he was carrying, Hikaru made it to the first floor. Akari followed him with a wooden bowl in each hand.

"Where are we going to take these" Akari asked worriedly.

"I'm gonna take them home," Hikaru answered with a grin. Akari clearly didn't seem to understand what he was thinking - after all, he was stealing something from his grandfather, his parent's were sure to notice. Hikaru however seemed confident, so she just sighed and sneaked after him and away from Hikaru's grandfather's loft without being seen.

By the time they got near to Hikaru's house, Akari started to fidget nervously. Hikaru glanced at her troubled face, and smiled a little. She probably didn't want to be involved in what trouble he would get in at home. "You don't have to come all the way inside, just give me the bowls," Hikaru said, nodding towards the Goban he carried. She looked relieved, quickly placing the wooden Go-stone bowls on the Goban, before hastily saying her goodbyes and heading home. The formerly fourteen-year-old chuckled a little while looking after her, and then headed towards the door leading inside.

"Hikaru? You're late, where have you been?" his mother asked from the kitchen the moment he stepped inside.

"I was at Grandpa's," Hikaru answered while quickly kicking off his shoes.

"I hope you didn't ask any money from him," her voice was stern. "Because until your scores get better, you are now allowed any allowance. Now, I realise that you want to buy more of that manga of yours, but school is important and --" she had stepped to the entrance hall, and was now looking at Hikaru and the Goban. "Is that a Goban? Where did you get it?"

"Grandpa gave it to me," Hikaru lied with a perfectly straight face. "He said that he would give me money if I would beat him in go and then gave me this thing to practice with." Originally he had been interested in Go partially because of the money - back then he had been one money hungry brat… so the lie was probably the most believable one for now.

His mother sighed and frowned. "It's all about money for you, isn't it? Grandpa is a very good Go player for an amateur, you know. He has won in many amateur tournaments."

"Yeah, yeah, but it doesn't hurt to try, does it?" Hikaru grinned while heading towards the stairs to put the Goban in his room.

She sighed again, shaking her head. "If you think so. Dinner is just ready, so head back down after you've taken that thing up."

"Yeah, yeah…" Hikaru nodded. Soon he was at his room, placing the Goban down on the floor. After setting it down, he looked around the room. It wasn't all that different from what it had been, would be, two and half years from now. All that was really missing were the Go magazines - in the future the lower shelf of his bookshelf would be filled with Go Weekly.

With a shake of his head, and last longing look towards the Goban, Hikaru headed down to eat. As much as he wanted to wake the ghost immediately, if he did it he would miss dinner, his mother would worry, come up, see him unconscious, and call an ambulance. It was better to wake Sai when his unconsciousness would be dismissed as sleeping.

During dinner, Mitsuko lectured him again a bit about the importance of school and how he needed to bring his test scores up or else he wouldn't get any allowance ever. Hikaru promised half heartedly to do better while thinking back to the Goban upstairs. Soon dinner was over and Hikaru headed back up with a piece of cloth to clean the Goban with.

As he gently started to wipe of the dust and dirt from the Goban - very careful when cleaning the blood stain as he didn't want it to come off - he wondered what it was like for Sai, to remain inside a Goban. Could he see or hear the outside world? Had he witnessed all the years passing by? Remembering what Grandpa had said about the Goban being in an antique store before Hikaru's great uncle had bought it, the now twelve-year-old boy wondered what it had been like, sitting on a shelf, watching the buyers come and go… none of them seeing the stains. Poor Sai.

Once the Goban was clean, and even the stone bowls had been cleaned up, Hikaru pushed the Goban closer to his bed and hopped down to sit - it would be more comfortable to pass out on the bed than on the floor. Once he was in a somewhat comfortable position and sure that he wouldn't fall off, he looked down at the Goban. It was time to wake Sai up.

"A Kaya board, hm?" Hikaru murmured, remembering what Sai had said once at the Amateur Go Festival. Kaya was the wood used in high-quality Go boards - but the wood was rare and grew so slowly that it made the boards quite expensive. Tracing his fingers over the grid he smiled sadly. The Kaya board with which Torajiro played - Honinbo Shusaku… the thing was truly priceless. "But I wonder if the stain would make it cheaper or more expensive," he mused aloud and trailed his fingers over the blood stains. On any other board the blood would bring the price down, but as it was Shusaku's blood….

"You can see it?" Sai's voice inquired softly, hopefully. "You can see the stains?"

Hikaru swallowed. Last time he hadn't registered it, but the tone of Sai's voice was heart-breaking. "I can," Hikaru answered with a chocked voice. He knew that he should maybe act like he was surprised or shocked - maybe a little frightened… but he couldn't.

"Can you… can you hear my voice?" Sai asked in an even more heart-breaking tone. Hikaru couldn't stifle the choked sob that was moving up after being lodged in the middle of his throat for what seemed like forever. Sai asked as if he didn't know if he dared to - as if his hope had been crushed so many times before that he was loosing his optimism. For one sorrowful moment Hikaru could imagine the thousands of times when Sai had asked that of someone nearby, in that antique store, anywhere… hopefully asking, pleading and wishing to play more Go… only to be unheard.

"My voice… can you hear it?" Sai asked again, now with a quieter voice as if not expecting him to answer, as if already disheartened.

"I… I can. I can hear you," Hikaru answered quickly, his fingers shaking has he trailed them over the blood stains. "I can hear you…."

"You can? You can… you can," Sai's voice broke slightly underneath the load of emotions. "All powerful God, I thank you."

Hikaru gasped with amazement and relief as the Goban started to glow. As if rising from some kind of depths, Sai rose, embraced in an ethereal glow. He was covered in a white cloth, nearly hidden underneath it, and in his hand he held the Ogi-fan. Hikaru swallowed. He had nearly forgotten how beautiful and frightening Sai could be - and Gods how he had missed that fan.

"I will now return…" As Sai shifted closer, the cloth covering him surrounded Hikaru as well. Closing his eyes in the feeling of pressure entering his mind, Hikaru wondered if that cloth was the bond which formed between them, if that cloth was what bound Hikaru to Sai and Sai to Hikaru. If it was, he never wanted it to go away. "…Return to the living world."

Hikaru let out a breathless gasp as the pressure on his mind got too heavy to bear. He slumped on the bed, but unlike last time when he had been grimacing with pain and fear, this time he smiled. Sai was with him again, and this time he would make sure Sai would never leave him.

-

When Hikaru woke up, it was morning and he felt more tired than he had in a while. Rubbing his eyes he looked around in his room, until his eyes landed on the old Goban. Memories rushed to his mind. Sai had left him, he had looked for the spirit, he had went to Hiroshima… and back to Tokyo where, in the old records room in the Go Association, he had screamed out to God to turn back the time… and time had been turned back. He was in past and Sai was with him again.

With a gasp, Hikaru sat up quickly. The movement didn't agree with his suffered brain and he nearly fell over as his vision was over taken by colourful blackness. "Woah," he murmured to himself while trying to regain his balance and vision.

"Are you alright?" Sai's voice asked carefully.

"Just a little dizzy," Hikaru murmured, rubbing his hand over his eyes while he lay down on the bed again. Looking up at the ceiling, he waited until his brain settled down. He thought back to yesterday and what happened, and what he was supposed to do now. Unlike he, who knew Sai, Sai didn't know him so… introductions were in order. "So, who are you?"

"Fujiwara no Sai," the ghost answered while taking visible form on the floor beside Hikaru's bed. While Hikaru tried to hold in the urge to rush to the spirit and hug him with all his strength, Sai looked at the bloodstained Goban sadly. "Once, a long ago, I taught Go for the emperor in the Heian capital…."

Hikaru turned to his side, leaning his head to his palm as he re-familiarized himself with each and every one of Sai's features. It wasn't like he had forgotten, but still… "You sound sad," he said carefully. Last time he hadn't exactly shown any sympathy to Sai when the spirit had told him the tale of his death, but this time he wasn't just a brat, this time he understood.

"I played Go every day and I was so very happy," Sai smiled sadly before bowing his head. "There was another who also served as the Emperor's Go teacher. And one day he commented to the emperor, 'Only one instructor is needed', he said. 'Why don't we play and the winner can remain.'"

Hikaru closed his eyes, trying to imagine the scene, trying to imagine the Emperor's palace where Sai used to teach. He smiled a little at the idea of all wearing Tate-eboshi and dressing into Kariginu like Sai. "So, you played?" he asked, shaking the image from his head. "Who won?" as if he didn't know already.

"The game continued evenly. With everyone watching, it was a coincidence that only I saw it," Sai continued with troubled voice. "A white stone had been somehow mixed into his bowl… it's rare, but sometimes one of your stones gets mixed with your opponent's. Of course that has nothing to do with the match so usually it ends with the person saying 'Here is one of your stones,' and handing it over… but he…" Sai sighed heavily. "He waited for the right moment and… added it to his captured stones."

Hikaru sighed sadly. These days that kind of cheating in a big match would be utterly impossible, because the important matches were always watched intently, filmed and afterwards there would be kifus made…. The deception would've been noticed. "Horrible cheating," Hikaru muttered.

Sai nodded. "I, of course, tried to retaliate, but it was too late. The emperor told us to quiet down and continue the game. With my mind still unravelled by the shock, I… lost." Sai was quiet for a moment, lost in the memory. Then he continued with rough voice. "Also branded a cheater, I was driven from the capital. I had lost my honour as a Go player and with it my will to live… I drowned myself two days later."

Hikaru held his eyes closed, his heart bursting with pain as he imagined Sai walking to some river and finding his death among the water lilies. It was painful to imagine, but in a certain way it made him happy. If Sai hadn't killed himself, then Hikaru would've never met him…. He was so selfish, to enjoy the fruits of Sai's suffering.

"But even so, my soul was unable to rise to the heavens," Sai continued to speak sadly. "I wanted… to play more Go. My spirit attached itself to a Goban and time passed until I could hear the voice of a young boy. 'Nobody else can see the stains. Why am I the only one who can see these stains which look so much like tears?' he asked."

"'Young child, if you are able to see my tears of sorrow… then let me occupy a part of your mind.' I answered." Sai was smiling now. "The child was interested in Go and took me on willingly… and I was able to play as much Go as I wished. He would've become a great Go played, but he died of disease at the age of thirty-four…."

Sai sighed while hiding his lips behind the fan again. "His name was Torajiro. He was a good person."

Kuwabara Torajiro, who later took the name of Honinbo Shusaku, invincible Shusaku. Hikaru nodded thoughtfully. "It must be his blood on this Goban," he murmured while touching the Goban almost reverently. Sai nodded and Hikaru looked up at him. "So, you want to play more Go? That's why you remained here, because you wanted to play more Go?" he asked even though he knew the truth more than well enough.

"Yes…. For I have yet to achieve the Hand of God," Sai answered wistfully, a dreamful smile on his painted lips.

Hikaru smiled a little while opening his eyes. Never change, Sai, he thought fondly. "You really love Go, don't you?" he asked warmly. Sai nodded eagerly like a kid when asked if they liked candy. Hikaru chuckled at the ghost. "I play some," he said, causing Sai's eyes widen with anticipation. "And I guess I can take you to Go-salons - hmm, and maybe some NetGo…" Hikaru pursed his lips thoughtfully.

Getting a computer would be a good idea, but those things were expensive. With his allowance cut saving would be nearly impossible and there was no way that his parents would buy one for him - neither would Grandpa… so he would need to get the money by himself, somehow. Sitting up in his bed slowly to avoid dizziness, he looked around his room to see if he could sell something. There was his manga collection, the Play Station… if he sold them, it wouldn't be quite enough for a new computer, but maybe he would be able to get a second hand one. It would be enough as he didn't need it for anything else but playing Go. An internet connection was another thing, though….

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Hikaru sighed. That would all have to wait, though. "We'll think about it later, I need to go to school now. I'll see if we can visit an internet-café or Go-salon after school, though."

"Go-salon?" Sai asked eagerly as Hikaru started to get ready to leave. Gathering his school books proved to be a slight difficulty as he couldn't remember clearly what subjects he would have that day. When he found schedule, it got easier.

"A Go-salon is a place where people go to play Go - amateurs mostly, but in some of them there might be some decent players," Hikaru then laughed at the excited look on Sai's face - just before he was assaulted by the excited ghost.

"You're so kind! What is your name?" Sai asked enthusiastically while hugging him from behind.

"Hikaru. Shindo Hikaru," the boy smiled to hide the sadness which wormed its way into his mind. "It's nice to meet you, Sai."

II chapter

Recording Sai

It was painful, and Hikaru knew that it would just get more painful as time would go by. Sai was still Sai, his naïve ways and endless enthusiasm would probably never change, but Sai was still a bit different. This wasn't the ghost who had been with him through thick and thin, who had watched over Hikaru's rivalry with Toya Akira and who had silently challenged Toya Koyo to be his rival….

But Sai was still Sai. That was enough.

While he was supposed to be concentrating on his social studies test, Hikaru wondered how he would go about this new chance in life. He would allow Sai to play, of course, as much as the spirit wanted. But how? Just on the internet and at the Go-salons? Or would he join Tsutsui's Go club? Would he aim for the professional Go world? No, not yet at least. Sai's style of playing was old, as good as he was, learning newer methods of playing wouldn't hurt… and Sai would probably want to learn too, once he realised how much new knowledge of Go there was now.

"Shindo?" the teacher asked while walking to his side. "Your paper is empty."

"Huh?" Hikaru looked down. "Oh, sorry," he muttered and quickly took a pen. With a frown, he started to read the paper. It was one of those fill in the blank spots tests; This year, the new government reset the year to ___. Declaring Tokyo as the ___, they decided upon the capital of the nation… and so on.

"Oh, is this a history question?" Sai asked, his spirit taking a visible form at Hikaru's side, crouching on the floor and peering at the paper.

Hikaru smiled. It is, he answered with his thoughts while looking down at the paper. The test certainly wasn't as difficult as he remembered it being. To his twelve-year-old self the test had been incomprehensible, but he had the mentality and memories of a fourteen-year-old, nearly fifteen-year-old. And in those memories of a fourteen-year-old there were history and social studies lessons where they had reviewed this same subject… not that he still knew the exact answers, but hopefully he knew enough to get a passing score. Sure, he could've asked Sai like he had last time, but he didn't want to degrade Sai by using him like that… again.

 After filling the paper with at least somewhat correct answers, he leaned back and bit on the end of his pencil in thought. Should he make contact with Tsutsui, Kaga and Mitani again? What would happen if he wouldn't? If Kaga wouldn't notice his talent like he had last time, the Haze Junior High Go club might never come to reality - they would never go against Kaio's Go club in the team tournament. Sure, Tsutsui probably wouldn't give up on the club even despite that, but if Hikaru wouldn't join the club, what of Mitani? Mitani could very well continue on his rather disastrous habit of cheating at Go to get money, and who knew where that would lead. Sure, Hikaru could attempt to make contact with the boy nonetheless, but with what excuse?

The Go club held so many fond memories that he didn't want it to remain a memory - he wanted it to really happen. For Tsutsui's and Mitani's sake - and for the sake of all the other who joined it later on. But… he wanted to concentrate on making Sai happy. Glancing at the spirit who was looking around the classroom with curiosity, the not-so-Pro-player sighed. Was there a way to guide his former-future friends, former and future, to the paths they had taken previously while ensuring that Sai would never go wanting…?

He frowned, trying to remember the time. If he was right, he had a month until the HazeJunior High school festival where he would meet Tsutsui and Kaga. A month was more than enough to figure out what he would do and the right way to do it, more than enough time to find a way to keep Sai as happy as possible while living his life in a pace similar to his last time around. I can find a Go-salon unknown but popular enough for us to go unnoticed, he thought to himself. Maybe we can play Shido-Go there for money and then save until I have enough. Even if I sell my manga and videogames and get the computer, there's still the internet expense I need to cover somehow… Shido-Go might just be enough.

Sai looked at him curiously. "Shido-Go for money?" he asked while crouching at Hikaru's side again. "Why?"

Startled out of his thoughts, Hikaru snapped his eyes to the ghost. Sighing he smiled slightly. There is a machine people invented a little while ago. It's called a computer, with it you can do many things. One of those things is playing Go with people all around the world – a box with countless opponents in it, he thought fondly, remembering Sai's original reaction to the NetGo. If we get money, I can buy a computer and then you can play as much Go as you want… Shido-Go might be one way to get money….

"Box with opponents in it?" Sai clearly didn't understand, tilting his head to the side with a confused expression.

I'll take you to a 'Net cafe someday and show you. Hikaru smiled, poking the ghost gently in the cheek. Or at least you'll see it when I get a computer… though that might take a while.

Sai pursed his lips with an unsure nod. "B-but I can play Go before that, right?" he asked eagerly. "Or do we really need this… box to play Go?"

Of course you can play Go. I was planning on looking for a suitable Go-salon after school - and of course we can play together at home, Hikaru assured gently. Then he frowned slightly, remembering that Shusaku's Goban was the one he had at the moment. Um… Do you mind playing with Shusaku's Goban? Hikaru asked from the ghost carefully. I can get another one if you don't want to play with it….

Sai frowned a little and thought about it. "I... I…" he hesitated before sighing and smiling. "I don't mind."

Hikaru nodded, understanding some of the things Sai left unsaid but not all of them. He knew that he himself didn't want to let that Goban out of his sight for long - not as long as those stains were proof of Sai's existence. If Sai began to fade again, that Goban would warn him.

After school was over, Hikaru headed towards the train station, wondering which place would be a safe place to allow Sai play. At first he thought that none of the salons he had gone to in the future would do, until he thought of the Go-salon where Waya and Isumi had taken him so that he could get adjusted to playing against older opponents - the Heart of Stone. It wasn't all that popular a salon, so there was no danger of running into anyone he had met in the future there. And the people who visited the salon weren't all that bad - with suitable handicaps and playing many games simultaneously, it would be bit of a challenge even for Sai. Besides, Hikaru liked the owner.

So, he headed there and found that it was just the same as it would be, two years from now. The owner was the same, and though there were few customers he didn't remember seeing in the future, most of them he knew. The owner's wife looked at him curiously as he stepped inside. "Aren't you a bit young to be in a place like this, kid?" she asked, because indeed there were only people thirty and up in the salon.

"Age doesn't matter in Go," Hikaru smiled widely. "I want to play strongest opponent here."

"Well, aren't you an arrogant one," the woman frowned slightly, reminding Hikaru of the first time he had stepped in the salon. "I really don't like loudmouth brats."

"We'll see if it's all talk after he’s played," one of the customers said with a smirk while holding his cigarette close to drag a breath through it. "I'll play you."

"Alright," Hikaru nodded and turned to the woman on the other side of the counter. "How much is it?"

"Five-hundred yen," the woman said with a look of slight dislike. Hikaru went through his pockets for the money, finding it quickly enough. After writing his name on the register, he followed the other customer to a free Goban, the eager Sai following closely behind.

Since you last played about a hundred and forty years ago, there might be some things you don't know, Hikaru thought to the ghost, who turned to look at him, listening closely. New rules and such. One is the Komi rule. Because black goes first, it has an advantage over white. So, to compensate for the first move, the Komi rule was set, it means that white is given a pre-agreed amount of points before the game starts. The usual Komi is five and half moku. So to win you will have to have six points more than your opponent.

"Oh, I see," Sai thought about it while Hikaru opened his bowl of stones to find that they were black. His opponent grabbed handful of the white stones while Hikaru took one black stone. The amount of white stones was even, meaning that Hikaru and Sai would play with white.

Feeling a shiver running down his spine, Hikaru looked up. Sai was hiding the lower half of his face behind the fan while tears trailed down his pale face - tears of happiness. Hikaru's eyes softened. Last time he hadn't had any respect for Sai's tears, but this time he did. Sai had given all of his heart to Go, for someone like him being unable to play for as long as a hundred and forty years… it must've been torture.

I promise you, you'll get to play more. Again and again. Dozens, hundreds of games, Hikaru thought to the ghost, who gasped, turning to look at him with surprise. The boy smiled. Every day, Sai. So much that you will get sick of it. Turning to look back down, the boy's eyes hardened. Sai would play Go until the day Hikaru died.

After switching the bowls, the sixth-grader bend his head. "Please," he said, not really expecting a counter please. In these Go-salons they rarely paid attention to the formality you countered in contests and the pro world. And like he thought, his opponent merely leered and placed a stone on the lower left star.

"Opening move is a star?" Sai asked with a surprise. "First hand on a star was unthinkable in Torajiro's era. Go has evolved in these hundred and forty years…."

Yep, Hikaru nodded, knowing that Sai had a lot to learn of modern go. Where will you play then, Sai?

"17-16, kumoku," Sai answered. Obediently, Hikaru played the hand, easily taking the stone between his middle and fore finger and landing it on the Goban with a nice sound. He could feel Sai's happiness seeping through the mental bond they had and found himself smiling.

The game was short and brutal. Hikaru felt a little sorry for the guy who had been utterly destroyed by Sai, as the man stared down at the Go-board which had been completely dominated by white. Hikaru thanked the man for the game and only then noticed that there were a few people standing around him, who had looked at the game.

"Incredible," the owner of the Heart of Stone salon whispered while staring down at the Goban. "The style is very old, but… where did you learn to play like that, kid?"

"Here and there," Hikaru smiled while Sai basked in the afterglow of his victory - and first game after over a century. "Anyone else interested in a game?" he asked, and immediately gained an opponent in the owner.

"What's your name, kid?" the owner asked while they switched the stones so that the owner could nigiri.

"Shindo Hikaru," the boy smiled. He got the black stones this time, and another game began, this one getting more viewers than the last one. The boy and the ghost both ignored the people watching as Sai played the game and Hikaru placed the stones for him.

Sai ended up playing as many as five games that day through Hikaru - each of them easy victories. Once the last opponent had given up, Hikaru decided that it was time for him to head home. "I'll come again tomorrow," Hikaru said to the owner and the customers, knowing that they would put the word out to the other customers who would come to see Sai's skill for themselves.

"Bye now!" he called while taking his backpack and heading towards the door. The owner and some of the customers returned the goodbye and even the owner's wife, who had previously been sour with him, smiled after him.

This was a good day, Hikaru thought to Sai while heading towards the train station. "Or what do you think?"

"It was, it was," Sai nodded eagerly, looking at him with eyes which glowed with anticipation. "And we'll go again tomorrow?"

Yep, Hikaru nodded, pushing his hands into his pockets to protect them from the cool autumn air. I'm not sure if we can make any money by Shido-Go in that salon… but that's not very important right now…. Hikaru trailed away as he noticed that he was about to walk by a bookstore. Getting an idea, he quickly went through his pockets to see how much money he still had. "Just enough!" he muttered and quickly headed inside, a curious Sai following closely behind.

"What are you going to get, Hikaru?" Sai asked, trailing after the boy who quickly walked through the store, looking for the right shelf.

Kifu paper, Hikaru answered. I'm going to start making a record of every single game you play. Last time so much of Sai's wisdom had nearly been lost because he hadn't bothered to write any of it down. But not this time, this time he would immortalize each and every game, right from the beginning.

Ah, there! Hikaru thought with triumph and walked to the shelf where he could see Go-related books. On the lower shelf, there were books and pads for making kifus. Hikaru didn't have enough money to get a book, but to his relief he did have enough to get two kifu-pads. Quickly picking two, he turned around to head towards the counter to pay for them, when he noticed two girls standing not too far from him, looking at the store's selection of sketchpads.

"…for how long?" one of the girls asked the other.

"Not long, just a few months," the other shrugged. "I started to learn it because my cat doesn't like to be photographed. So, I'll just draw her instead. I'm not any good, yet, but my art teacher said that if I'll practice hard every day, I'll get better…."

As the girls headed away, Hikaru stopped to stare at the sketchpads and books. Then he turned to look at Sai, who was looking at him with confusion. The spirit couldn't be photographed either and no one but Hikaru could see him. If Sai would one day disappear again - which would never happen if Hikaru had anything to say in it - there would be no record of his existence but the kifus. There would be no picture and no one would even know he as a person had existed… unless Hikaru himself would show him to the world.

"Hikaru?" Sai asked with confusion as Hikaru walked to the shelf holding the sketchpads. Picking one which cost just as much as the kifu-notepad, he then took one of the kifu-pads away. Sai followed him with confused curiosity. "Is that for kifus, too?"

No, this will be for drawing, Hikaru smiled. He was absolute rubbish with drawing, he knew that… but he had been rubbish with Go too in the beginning. Everything could be learned and he would learn to draw Sai. Determination burned in Hikaru's eyes while he paid for the two pads, the look in his eyes causing the girl at the counter to jump slightly. Hikaru hardly noticed as he pushed his purchase into his backpack and headed out.

That night, after quickly doing his homework, he easily wrote down the games Sai had played, surprising the ghost with his excellent memory. Hikaru was tempted to write down some of the games he remembered from the future - like the game Sai had played on the internet against Toya Meijin… but he decided against it. It was better to let some future things happen in their own course. Also that game had been the one Sai had enjoyed the most of all games. Even though Hikaru didn't know if it would ever happen this time, he didn't want to ruin it for Sai.

So, after finishing the kifu, Hikaru took the sketchpad and started to practice drawing. Confounded, Sai was thankfully a patient target for drawing, sitting still until Hikaru had finished his horrible attempt. As Hikaru turned a page to start next one with determination to make it better than the last attempt, Sai looked at him curiously. "Is drawing a hobby of yours?" the ghost asked.

"It just started being," Hikaru smiled widely and continued drawing. Sai didn't seem to understand, but remained still, content after the game-filled day they had had.

III chapter

Securing the Opponent

The week went by quite quickly. After school each day, Hikaru took Sai out to the Heart of Stone, where they immediately got opponents as everyone in the salon wanted to play against the strongest customer - who was Sai though Hikaru. The owner said that he could play in the salon for free, as he was already beginning to bring in more customers - especially after Hikaru started to give teaching games. Hikaru was beginning to wonder if he were to hint that he needed some money, would the people he taught in the salon start to give him some compensation for his efforts.

Hikaru's mother, Shindo Mitsuko, had easily noticed that Hikaru had begun to smell like cigarette smoke. Unlike last time, when Hikaru had never really explained anything to his mother and had left her only with confusion, this time Hikaru did explain - he even took his mother to the Heart of Stone with him to show that no, he wasn't getting in with a bad crowd and no, he hadn't started to get bad habits. She was confused and relieved at the same time, and after talking to the Go-salon's owner and customers, she allowed Hikaru to continue going there.

Though she did turn to Hikaru's grandfather, Shindo Heihachi, who through that way found out that Hikaru had stolen the Goban from his shed. There was a slight screaming match over the Goban, Heihachi didn't want twelve-year-old Hikaru keeping it because of the creepy rumours surrounding it… but after Hikaru nearly broke down in tears of frustration at the idea that he wouldn't get to keep Shusaku's Goban, marker of Sai's existence, the old man quickly relented and let him keep it.

Hikaru and Sai hadn't played together yet, though. Every day Hikaru stayed late at the Go-salon to allow Sai to play and when they came home he wanted to practice drawing, so they had no time to have a match. Sai didn't seem to even notice, he was concentrated on being happy at being able to play so much already and in a way Hikaru was relieved. If they were to play, Sai would no doubt get a bit suspicious. Hikaru had learned Go from Sai, so there was a hint of Sai's Go in his Go - and the spirit would no doubt notice it as well. It was probably best that he wouldn't play against Sai - at least not yet.

When Saturday came, Hikaru decided that five days per week was enough for the Go-salon and dedicated the day for NetGo. This time he didn't have his friendship with Mitani to allow him to weasel his way onto the net free through Mitani's sister, so he had to pay for the net access.

This is the place where we'll play NetGo. I told you about it, remember? Hikaru asked while sitting down at one of the computers. It seemed like he hadn't sat at one in ages. For some reason it felt good. Familiar… even though this would be the first time.

"This is the box you told me about? With lots of opponents inside?" Sai asked while crouching down to look at the Macintosh with curiosity.

This box connects us to other people with similar boxes, Hikaru thought to him with slight amusement while opening the internet and entering the NetGo homepage address. It’s kind of like a telephone, but with an image and you usually write instead of talking. He opened the page where he could get a user ID. Now we'll make an ID for us - a net identity. It will be the name we will be known by on the net, and… Hikaru glanced at the ghost with a smile. And as you will be playing, I think it's suiting that we will go by your name.

Sai looked at him with wonder as he wrote down sai. After selecting a password, he logged into the site. Now, let's play, he thought, knowing that it wouldn't take long for Sai to become an internet legend again.

While Sai begun to slowly familiarise himself with the world of NetGo, Hikaru looked around in the café. When he didn't see what he was looking for, he motioned one of the waitresses to come closer. "Excuse me, do you have a printer in this café?" he asked.

"Yes, it's in the back room. All the computers in the café are connected with local network, so you can print from these computers too," the waitress said. "Is there something you want to print? It costs though."

"How much?" Hikaru asked while going through his pockets.

"Twenty yen a page," the waitress smiled.

"Okay. I'll need to print something later, how is it done?" Hikaru asked, and quickly turned to place a stone for Sai who had begun to quickly pester him about not paying attention.

She chuckled and pointed at the computer screen. "If you're printing from the net, you need to open this menu here. Near the bottom of the menu it reads print. Click it and when another window opens, just press print there too and it sends the file to the printer. You got it?"

"I think so," Hikaru nodded. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Just call if you need help," she winked and went back to work while Hikaru concentrated on the game. He smiled a little at the old fashioned Fuseki Sai was playing. Remember the Komi, Sai. In NetGo it's always five and half. He reminded, as it looked like Sai was playing like he and his opponent had started on even ground.

"Oh, right," Sai muttered, tapping his lower lip with the Ogi-fan while peering down at the screen. Hikaru glanced at the ghost's face and chuckled warmly. This time he would never take that look of intense concentration and pure enjoyment for granted.

Once the game was over - Sai's opponent had resigned, which wasn't that much of a surprise - Hikaru tried out the printing, printing the match's kifu. It was simpler than he thought, and soon the waitress he had talked with before brought the print to him. "Thank you," Hikaru said while handing over the asked for twenty yen. Then he looked at the kifu with a satisfied smile. The computer was certainly precise; all the information was carefully filed in the print with small writing which was easy to read.

"Isn't that the game I just played?" Sai asked with surprise. "How did someone write a kifu so fast?"

No one wrote it. It came from a printer - it's another machine which can take pictures seen in here, Hikaru pointed at the computer screen, and put them into paper like this. This way I don't have write a kifu later and I still have a record of the game.

"Ooh, I see," Sai nodded and looked down at him. "But why are you making records of my games?"

I just think that it's important, Hikaru smiled while tucking the printed kifu into his backpack. I know a genius when I see one. Each of your games is an artwork, and I don't want to lose any of them.

"You… flatter me…" Sai blushed a bit, hiding his lips behind his fan while looking down at Hikaru with unreadable expression.

"Hmm-hmm," Hikaru hummed while turning to the computer again, scrolling through the list of online players. Do you want to play another game? Ooh, I think I know that player, they should be stronger than the last one…. Looking up to the ghost he saw Sai nodding with enthusiasm. With a chuckle, Hikaru challenged the player for a match.

If I get a computer, you can play like that at home too, Hikaru thought to Sai later while they were heading home. He spirit was humming happily while walking beside him, causing the boy to smile fondly. Though it looks like I need to get a printer too… this idea of my own computer is turning more and more expensive….

-

Hikaru looked down at his notebook with boredom while fighting down a yawn. It was math class and he had already figured out the problems written on the blackboard and written the correct answers down. Currently he was drawing in his notebook - horribly drawn miniature Sai who was holding a roughly drawn fan while sitting on a Goban. He sighed heavily. Even if it was nothing but a pass of time, it showed how long a way he had to go in drawing.

Leaning his chin on his palm, he tapped the table with his pen. Today was the day he would meet Toya Akira for the first time. Last time he had had a Go class today. After the teacher had thrown him out because he had teased one of the students he had looked for a place where Sai could play. He had ended up in Toya Meijin's salon after getting the directions from another student of the Go club… and there Sai had played a Shido-Go against Toya Akira.

But did he want to? Closing his eyes with a frown, he continued to tap the table. The rivalry with Toya Akira had been one of the driving points which had pushed him to seriously learn Go last time… but this time he didn't need that drive - he already knew Go and even so he wasn't going to play. Sai was… so he ended up with if it would be good or bad for Sai to meet Akira.

Hikaru smiled sadly. Sai had enjoyed playing Akira. Sai had always thought that Toya Akira had great potential - which was true, in the time Hikaru had known the other boy, the young Toya had improved in leaps… and one of Toya's motivations had been the rivalry with Hikaru. Toya had even entered the Kaio high school's Go club momentarily just to play Hikaru - or Sai, though Hikaru….

But the rivalry had been a somewhat bothersome affair too. It had drawn so much attention and trouble, among the insei and among the pros… heck, Toya Meijin had specifically picked him when he had started playing the beginner-dan series. It was troublesome, but…it wasn't like he was going to be able to avoid attention anyway. Sai's talents were brighter than the light of the sun, they would be without doubt noticed at one point or another. And…

Hikaru sighed. Sai was for now satisfied with the Go-salons and the NetGo… and maybe he would continue being satisfied with it, but in the Heart of Stone and on the net Sai would never get a proper challenge. That lay in pro world, in Toya Meijin -and maybe in Toya Akira, in some future day. Who was Hikaru… to deny that from Sai?

Sai… how about visiting another Go club today? he inquired. And getting some variety to your opponents?

"Hikaruu…" Sai appeared out of nowhere and enclosed Hikaru in enthusiastic hug. "You're so nice to me, getting me more opponents!"

"Hmhm," Hikaru closed his eyes and smiled. I enjoy watching you play, he thought to the ghost. It was true too, he did enjoy watching Sai play almost as much as he enjoyed playing - and he’d much rather watched Sai play than play himself if it meant that Sai would stay. He chuckled to hide the slightest sadness which tried to seep to his mind. Watching you play is like watching a fine sword duel.

"Hmhmhmh, Hikaru! You're flattering me again," Sai said happily. Hikaru chuckled softly, feeling a twinge of self-loathing. Last time he had been less than flattering towards the spirit, most of the time he had acted as if the ghost was beneath him. Sai had never said anything of it - or at least not much - but it must've been somewhat hurtful to hear.

"Shindo?" the teacher asked, startling the boy out of his thoughts again. "Are you already finished with your work?"

"Oh? Yes, yes," Hikaru handed the notepad to the teacher, who quickly read through his work.

"Hmm… very good. And you finished these very fast too. You've been improving a lot in many other classes as well," she peered down to him curiously. "Have you hired a tutor to help you with your classes?"

Hikaru grinned awkwardly. "Something like that." It wasn't like sixth-grade school work was difficult for him, who was nearly fifteen mentally.

"Have you started to draw as well?" the teacher bowed a bit, placing the notebook down and pointing at the horrible miniature Sai Hikaru had drawn. At Hikaru's sheepish nod, she smiled. "Stay after class. I may have something which will help you with it."

"Uh… thank you," Hikaru nodded, ignoring the fact that a few of the students were looking at him incredulously. The teacher nodded as well and stepped forward to check how the others were getting along. Hikaru sighed to himself and looked down at the ugly sketch.

"Is that supposed to be me?" Sai asked incredulously, staring down to the sketch with blank expression, as if not knowing what he was supposed to think about it.

I'll get better, Hikaru promised with a chuckle and closed the notebook. I'll practice hard and get better.

After the class, Hikaru stayed behind to talk to the teacher. It turned out that the teacher had an old book about drawing which had once been used in the Art class, but after the book had gotten in bad shape they hadn't used it anymore. "I was about to throw it away actually, but I thought that maybe you would like it. The covers are ruined, but maybe you can make use of it."

"I… thank you, thank you very much," Hikaru nodded enthusiastically while pushing the book to his bag. "I'm sure it will come in hand."

While heading out of the school building, Hikaru tried to look back to the day when he had met Toya Akira. What the time had been? He had been in the Go class for about an hour before going to the Toya Meijin's salon, and the Go class had been…? At four? Ah, did it really matter. Toya had probably been in the salon the entire day anyway.

With a shake of his head, Hikaru headed towards the train station. Sai trailed after him with a thoughtful expression. "So, we'll go to another salon today?" the ghost asked. "Do you know that Salon? Are there strong players there?"

Strong players? Hmm… Hikaru smiled while taking his hands behind his head and looking up at the sky. I think we might find some… potential in this one Salon.

"Potential?" Sai asked curiously.

Yes. I think you might enjoy playing against him… if we get the chance. We'll see. Hikaru shrugged.

Not too much after that, he came to the salon and stepped inside. Compared to the salon where Hikaru usually took Sai, this club was cleaner as the people weren't allowed to smoke inside. There were also more customers there, and the sound of Go-stones hitting against the boards was like irrational music. Quite a nostalgic sound.

"Oh, welcome," the manager, Ishikawa, greeted him when he stepped inside. Hikaru held his hand up in greeting and was given smile in return. "Is this your first time here?" she asked before pointing at the registry on the table. "Write your name here."

"Yes and yes, it's my first time here," Hikaru nodded and wrote down his name. Beside the slots for names were other slots where you were supposed to write your level of strength. "Hmm… Go level…?" he grimaced. It would probably be bad if he wrote down ninth-dan - and even that probably wasn't enough to measure Sai's strength.

"You don't know your strength? That's okay," Ishikawa assured. "Just leave that slot empty."

"Okay. How much is it?" he asked while going through his pockets for money. I really need to get a wallet, he thought to himself with annoyance, causing Sai to chuckle lightly.

"Five hundred yen," she smiled and accepted the money. After that Hikaru looked around, looking for Toya… but the boy wasn't there. He frowned slightly. Toya was probably still in school or something, but Hikaru knew for certain that he would come at some point.

"Looking for an opponent, kid?" one of the elder customers asked, smiling kindly. The man was sitting at one of the tables with Goban before him and without an opponent. "I'm free to play."

Might as well, we need to pass-time while waiting for him anyway…. "Thank you," Hikaru nodded and after handing his bag to Ishikawa. Sai looked at him curiously after catching his thoughts, but didn't say anything as Hikaru took a seat. Instead the spirit merely leaned forward, eager to play again. Hikaru smiled at the spirit's enthusiasm fondly while handing the white stones to the older player.

Sai got black and the game began. It was nothing special really, as the opponent was no pro, but Sai enjoyed it as he enjoyed every game. Before the Fuseki was over, Sai had switched from serious laying to Shido-Go, realising that his opponent was nowhere near the level of skill where he would need to play seriously.

"I can't see much potential in this game," Sai muttered behind his fan. "The old man is no beginner, but he will never shine either…."

I wasn't thinking of him or anyone else here right now. The one with potential isn't here yet, but he should come sooner or later. This is his father's salon, after all, Hikaru thought with a smile. Sai nodded thoughtfully, and the teaching game continued.

Eventually the game ended. "You're good," the old man said, sounding impressed. "It was almost like playing against Master Akira," the man leaned to look at Hikaru more closely. "Where did you learn to play like that?"

"Here and there," Hikaru smiled. "Do you want to discuss the game?" the old man nodded, and Hikaru began to easily point out the man's mistakes and where he could've gone better. Sai gave him a thoughtful look while he did so, but didn't say anything. The ghost was already adjusted to the fact that Hikaru could keep up with his playing easily and see the same things he could see.

The salon door chimed as someone entered. "…Now, this move here," Hikaru continued explaining, pointing at lower left corner of the Goban. He didn't notice the eyes which landed on him, turning immediately curious. "It was a good move, but I would've gone here instead. Then, next here… see, you would've been able to surround these stones here."

"I see, I see," the old man nodded and looked up. "Oh, Master Akira, hello."

Hikaru turned his head to see that Toya Akira was standing behind him, looking down at the board with curiosity. He had to swallow down a chuckle at the sight of the future pro. He hadn't remembered how short Akira had been - though he was shorter still. "Yo," Hikaru greeted the boy with a wide smile. And here we have the potential I was talking about, Sai.

"This one?" the spirit asked curiously, looking at Toya with a thoughtful expression.

His father is Toya Meijin, who is at the moment the best player in all of Japan. This kid has been around Goban probably since he was born, Hikaru though. Ignoring the look Sai gave him at the mention of 'best player' Hikaru looked up at Toya. "Wanna play?" he asked the future pro.

"You should play him, Master Akira, this kid is really good," the man Sai had been playing before nodded before peering at Hikaru curiously.

"Thank you," Hikaru said and turned to Toya again. "So?"

"I'll play," Toya nodded and looked around the salon. "Let's go to the back."

Hikaru nodded and after thanking the old man for the game he turned and followed the other boy. He was a bit nostalgic while taking a seat at the exact same table as last time around. Shaking the emotion away, Hikaru opened the bowl before him to find that the stones inside were black. "What's your name, by the way? My name is Shindo Hikaru. I'm a sixth-grader."

"Didn't you say that you knew him?" Sai asked with confusion, unheard by all but Hikaru.

"I'm Toya Akira. I'm in sixth grade too," the future pro smiled. "It's nice to meet you."

I do know him, but… well, he's in a position where most of his opponents know him and have exceptions of him, Hikaru mentally shrugged. I want to give him a chance of playing against someone who doesn't want to play him just because he's the son of the Meijin. And besides… you don't know him.

"Hmm… you're really considerate, Hikaru," Sai smiled to him with marvel. Hikaru merely shrugged mentally again. He also didn't want to draw attention to them just yet. If Toya knew that Hikaru knew him from before, he would ask from where and Hikaru wasn't sure how he would answer that question.

"So, how good are you?" Toya asked while opening his bowl of white stones.

"I'm not sure, but I haven't lost yet," Hikaru shrugged, placing his bowl down at the right side of the Goban.

"Not sure but haven't lost yet, hmm?" Toya looked amused. "Why don't you put down four or five stones then?"

Hikaru raised his eyebrow. If he hadn't known that Toya was already pro-level and that usually kids of twelve years had no chance against the other boy, he would've been insulted. Yet he knew. Toya probably had never met another like him; someone of his age who could really play equally against him… he probably assumed that there was no such person.

"I don't need a handicap," Hikaru said, while looking down at the board. For a moment he thought about if he should tell Sai a bit about Toya - of the fact that until this day and this match, Toya had never faced someone of his age, who could challenge and actually win… but he decided against it. He was hiding many things from Sai, he wouldn't begin to tell him what to do as well.

"Well, uh…" Toya rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, looking embarrassed for Hikaru's sake. "Okay then. Why don't you go first?"

Almost feeling sorry for the unknowing boy, Hikaru nodded and the game begun.

IV chapter

Creating Waves

Hikaru sighed while leafing through the art book given to him by his teacher. He was trying to concentrate on drawing again, but the match between Sai and Toya Akira was still on his mind. It had gone pretty much like it had last time - Sai had played Shido-Go and won by two moku, yet something bothered Hikaru. It's not like anything had gone differently. Ishikawa had even given the children Go tournament leaflet to him just like last time. Still… something was different from last time.

Maybe the fact that I understand the butterfly effect this time… he thought to himself alerting Sai who had been contemplating on the floor. Never mind, I was just thinking, Hikaru assured the curious ghost, who nodded and went to back thinking.

Last time Hikaru really hadn't understood what kind of ripples that match had caused to travel over the surface of Go world. This time he did. Toya Akira had probably never been defeated by someone his age - heck, even most adults had problems defeating him even when he was merely twelve. Yet Hikaru - or Sai through Hikaru - had defeated Toya with ease and with Shido-Go nonetheless…. It would make people curious. And as Toya Akira was closely connected to the top-most pros…

Last time those ripples had died away, only echoes and ghosts of them remaining later on. Hikaru had killed the Butterfly Effect by starting to play himself and leaving Sai in shadow - his dramatic decrease in skill had been enough to put an end to most of the curiosity people had for him... but this time he wouldn't that. This time he would never deny Sai from playing, therefore there wouldn't be a decline in ability… and the ripples would flow freely, eventually turning into tidal waves.

But who would drown? Hikaru and Sai… or the Go world?

"You are troubled," Sai said carefully but with certainty. "What are you thinking, Hikaru?"

"Hmm…" Hikaru flopped to his back on his bed and stared up to the ceiling. The Go world of Japan is a tightly knit group of people. In the top everyone knows everyone else … and Toya Akira, whom you fought, is… well, not yet, but he will be part of that world.

"Hmm… he must know so many good players," Sai murmured with a dreamful look in his eyes.

Probably… and that's what's worrying me, lowering the art book to his stomach, Hikaru put his hands behind his neck. He frowned at the ceiling. He knew he had organized the meeting between Toya Akira and Sai himself, but… Are we really ready to be known by those people?

"I'll take on anyone," the ghost assured with determination. "And I will do my very best to win, I promise!"

I know you will - and you will probably win too, Hikaru nodded with a smile. He was ready for that world too, he had already witnessed it and familiarised himself with it - somewhat anyway. So we might be ready. But is the Go world itself ready?

Sai was quiet for a while. "To me it sounds a bit like you're worrying for the sake of worrying," the ghost said with a teasing voice.

Hm… yeah, you might be right, Hikaru chuckled and took the art book into his hands again. So many things have happened. I guess my brain is starting to pick up with the pace.

"There's nothing wrong with worrying," Sai assured with a smile. "But stressing over things you may have no control over is somewhat useless."

Yeah… what happens will happen; we'll deal with it then, Hikaru sat up in his bed and reached for his sketchpad and pen. Flipping the pad open and leafing over his previous attempts of drawing, he turned to look at his more or less unfortunate model. I'll try drawing again, maybe it'll calm me down….

Sai grinned awkwardly at him, quickly hiding the expression behind his Ogi-fan. "Um… can't you draw something or someone else for once?" he asked with the slightest blush. "You've only been drawing me, and… that can't be good practice. Even in Go you need to play against many different opponents to get better - playing against just one won't make you any good…."

What's wrong, Sai? Hikaru asked with a smirk. Getting uncomfortable? Embarrassed? Or is my drawing really that horrible?

"Ah…" the ghost grimaced behind his fan.

What if I only want to draw you? Hikaru asked, opening the art book to a page where it had instructions on how to get a better grasp in drawing human anatomy. Looking up he saw that Sai was staring at him speechlessly, clearly unsure how to answer his thoughts. Hikaru laughed and made a dismissing motion with his hand before steadying the sketchpad against his knee. I'll try drawing other things too - later. Now stay still….

After another horrible attempt at drawing Sai, Hikaru turned to look at his room to see what else he could practice on. Slowly blinking at his manga collection, he quickly stood up and started to leaf through the manga to see if they could help him any. In the end, he pushed the manga books back onto their shelves. He wanted to learn to draw Sai in the exact way the spirit was, and the manga he had in his shelves, as well as some of them were drawn, wasn't exactly realistic.

With that the intention of selling the manga solidified. "Hmm… the second hand bookshop might still be open… I need to start saving sooner or later, might as well do it now," he muttered and after filling his backpack with the comic books, he headed out with Sai trailing after him. I could check out how much a computer, 'net and printer will cost me on the same trip….

-

Hikaru sighed heavily. It had been so simple an idea in the beginning - get a computer and Sai can play as much as he wants… and then it burst into one mother of a problem. Even when he sold all his manga, his Play Station and his videogames and even when he turned his sights to a second-hand computer and printer, he still didn't have even a quarter of the money he would need - and there was the internet connection to consider.

He really needed to ask the owner and the customers of the Heart of Stone if they would be willing to pay him for lessons. He wouldn't need all that much really, nothing as fancy as what they would've needed to pay if he had been pro, but even five hundred yen per lesson would've been good - he would need to give three or four dozen lessons to get the needed money, but it still would've been better than nothing.

Hikaru sighed to himself. He was entirely too young to have money problems. On top of that, the teachers at his school had apparently decided to hold a test marathon - they had had another social studies test last week. Not that the test had been too difficult, but it was getting tiresome.

Glancing up at the clock on the wall, Hikaru quickly bounced up from his bed. It's about time to get going, he thought while quickly fetching his vest.

"Going? Going where?" Sai asked while glancing at the calendar Hikaru had gotten from Shonen Jump. "Isn't today Sunday?" he seemed confused, but it was understandable. With the weekdays reserved for the Go-salon and Saturdays for the 'Net café, Hikaru had decided that on Sunday he would have his day off. Usually he spent the day practicing drawing while Sai either meditated or - with Hikaru's help - read through the old Weekly-Go magazines Hikaru had gotten from the Heart of Stone.

Today is special. I'm going to take you out to see something, Hikaru thought while pulling the vest over his sweater. He had managed to keep the children's Go tournament a secret from Sai so that he could surprise the ghost. Pushing his drawing utensils into his backpack, he slung it over his shoulder. Come on, Sai. I promise you will like this.

Curious and eager, Sai quickly stood up and followed him out of the room. After bidding his goodbyes to his family, Hikaru headed out and toward the building where the tournament was held. Sai, surprisingly enough, didn't pester him to tell where they were going. Maybe he liked surprises - which actually would make sense, considering how much Sai liked to face the unexpected in life, death and Go.

And… here we are, Hikaru said with a smile as he stepped into the enormous hall where dozens of children were playing Go while their parents watched from the side, silently encouraging their sons and daughters while intently watching the matches. Children's Go Tournament, Hikaru glanced at the spirit, who was looking around with wide eyes. Sai made a nearly needy step towards the hall, clearly wanting to take a closer look. Shall we look around? Hikaru asked, and stepped forward, the spirit following closely behind.

"This… this is incredible. So many children… all playing Go," Sai whispered with wonder.

Some of these kids are younger than I am, Hikaru nodded with a wide smile, his eyes wandering from Go board to Go board. And the air… it's so tense with concentration that you can nearly cut it!

"These children have the same passion for Go that I had a thousand years ago…" Sai smiled happily while trying to look everywhere, his fan held up before his face in a vain attempt to hide how moved he was. "These children are telling me that things will be the same a thousand years from now…!"

Go survived over a thousand years for a reason, yep, Hikaru nodded while walking past the rows of Go games. He had been moved the last time around, but this time he felt like his heart was bursting, as his shared the ghost's joy.

"Oh, look! On that board, in the upper left corner, if black isn't careful he'll die," Sai said, causing Hikaru to glance at him over his shoulder. The spirit was standing near, looking down at one of the games. "Here. This is where he needs to place his stone, 1-2."

"Hmm," Hikaru folded his hands with a smile on his lips. The player with black stones placed his stone on wrong place, to the spot just under the one he should've gone for. Too bad, Hikaru mused with a thoughtful expression while remembering what had happened last time. He had spoken out loud and ruined the match for the two players - and the managers had dragged him away. Narrowing his eyes, he concentrated on the board. I wonder what made him place the stone on that spot anyway - oh, I see. Rather simple strategy.

"Huh?" Sai looked up.

He'll go for 1-5 next - that way he doesn't only take two stones but opens two eyes to that cluster as well. He probably hopes that it will be enough to save stones, Hikaru mused with slightest amusement. It was a very simple and very basic strategy, but you couldn't expect genius tactics from children such as these. But that will only work if white doesn't take the stone he just played.

"Hmm… it won't save his cluster," Sai frowned thoughtfully. "There are still so many openings…."

Yes, but if white will use them is another thing, Hikaru smiled and watched. In his move white continued trying to surround the cluster and like Hikaru had predicted, black played to 1-5, taking two white stones with that action. In a tournament for children you can only expect child-like tactics, Hikaru shrugged to himself. But who knows, black might win yet. Shall we go see other matches?

Sai nodded and followed him from the table. He was looking at Hikaru curiously. "Child-like tactics, Hikaru? You're a child yourself." The spirit pointed out while Hikaru glanced around to see if there was something interesting to be seen anywhere near.

Yeah, I guess, Hikaru thought. Hmm… While the matches are being played, they probably won't show any presentations - usually at tournaments like these there is a bit of Shido-Go played during the breaks, some booklets and books sold, they even might have a stall selling boards and such… oh, Master Ogata, he thought with surprise. The pro was standing with the judges and managers, dressed in his usual white suit.

"Who?" Sai asked, looking around.

Ogata, that man over there, the one with glasses, Hikaru nodded, feeling a strange pain lurch inside him. Though the man had been drunk at the time, Ogata had been the last to play Sai in the future which was Hikaru's past. Sure, Hikaru and Sai had played later that night, but the game had never been finished because in the middle of it Sai had… it was too painful to even think about it.

Coughing to clear the blockage in his throat, Hikaru looked up at the spirit. He is a pro player, one of the best… you know, makes his living by playing Go, he clarified and turned to look at the blonde pro again. He's ranked ninth-dan and I think he's student of the Meijin too….

"Meijin…? Oh, Toya Meijin, the one you said to be the best in Japan," Sai nodded and narrowed his eyes at Ogata. "I wouldn't mind playing him…."

Hikaru glanced at the ghost, unsure if Sai meant Toya Meijin or Ogata ninth-dan. Maybe someday you will, Hikaru assured softly nonetheless and looked up as a loud buzzer signalled the end of the matches. Most of the kids had already finished their games, but the ones who hadn't began to count their territories. Soon after victors and losers had been verified, one of the managers announced a half an hour break before the next round. Immediately people began to chatter and mingle and the Shido-Go games began.

"Hey," Hikaru called when he saw the player he and Sai had been watching earlier on, the one who had played black. "I was watching your game earlier. Which one won?"

"I did," the boy smiled with somewhat relieved smile. "It was tough, but I managed to win."

"Congratulations," Hikaru smiled and watched the boy walk away. "I thought he could win, mistake or no mistake."

"Huh, he made a mistake?" someone asked, causing Hikaru to whirl around. It was the boy who had played white. "I didn't notice, did he really make a mistake? Where?"

"Uh…" Hikaru glanced around and saw that whilst some were still reviewing their games, many of the boards were empty. "I'll show you," Hikaru motioned the boy to follow and walked to nearest free board. While the black haired boy curiously watched from the side, Hikaru opened the stone bowls and with the skill of a pro player started to recreate the game until it was in the spot where he had seen the mistake being made. He didn't even notice the boy and his mother giving him an incredulous look as he did so.

 "See, here? His next move was to 1-3, remember?" Hikaru asked, placing the stone on said spot while the boy nodded slowly. "But what if he had gone here instead…?" he pushed the stone a little bit forward until it was in 1-2. "Now, if he had played here, where would you have played next?"

The boy looked at the board for a moment before playing to the same spot he had played back in the game. "Here, 5-6."

"And next your opponent goes here…" Hikaru placed another black stone and looked up to the other boy.  "Where would you go next?" He didn't even notice that Sai was staring at him with wide eyes as he turned to look at the boy. Or the crowd which had begun to gather around them.

When he finished his explanation, few in the crowd made sounds of understanding. The boy looked pensive while looking down at the Go-board. Then he looked up at Hikaru, looking serious. "Thank you," the boy said sincerely. "I'll study hard and next time I'll see that without needing anyone to point it out to me."

"I'm sure you will," Hikaru said before bidding his goodbyes. Followed by a thoughtful Sai, he didn't even notice that he walked right past Ogata, whose curiosity had been caught by the crowd Hikaru had attracted. But by the time the pro found out what Hikaru had done - something no child except for a certain genius should've been able to do - Hikaru and Sai had already headed out of the hall in search for a vending machine.

"Hikaru," Sai asked while they stepped into the corridor. "How long have you been playing Go?" there was a contemplative look about his eyes as he looked down at the twelve-year-old.

Some time, Hikaru shrugged carelessly and looked up at the ceiling. It doesn't really matter, does it?

Sai frowned a little. "But that problem you solved… it wasn't an easy one but you seemed to understand it with ease. How did you -?"

I saw something similar some time ago, I just remembered it from that one, Hikaru thought and justified the deceit with the fact that it wasn't a complete lie. He had seen the situation before - though back then it hadn't been explained. Nothing more to it.

Sai didn't seem convinced, but thankfully he didn't push it. Hikaru sighed to himself and peered up at the ceiling. He needed to be more careful in the future, it was one thing that Sai knew these things, but Hikaru himself… Hikaru had no plausible explanation to cover up his skills in Go - as he hated lying to Sai, the deceit would have to go on.

Too occupied with his thoughts, Hikaru nearly ran into a man who was walking towards him from around the corner. Strong sensation of déjà vu attacked him as he quickly avoided the collision by stepping nearer to the wall. Speechless, he stared at the kimono, hakama and haori clad Toya Meijin, who looked at him expressionlessly before walking past him. Even after the man had walked past him Hikaru stared after him, not sure how to feel about this chance encounter. It was so much like the last time….

"Hikaru?" Sai asked.

That man is Toya Meijin, Hikaru glanced at the ghost. Sai's eyes immediately turned to the man, who was currently walking around another corner, soon to vanish behind it. Pausing for a moment, Hikaru continued. Currently he is said to be closest to the Divine Move - the Hand of God. Even if Hikaru hadn't known from before, the way Sai jerked at the words would've been indication enough about how much those worlds meant to the spirit.

"He… has the same goal as I?" Sai whispered, flipping his fan open and shut with agitation.

Quite many pros have that goal, Sai, Hikaru thought softly and glanced at the direction the Meijin had went before turning his back to the corridor. Isn't it the goal of every Go player…? He thought more to himself than to Sai before shrugging. One thing's for sure… the ripples are definitely growing.

Sai looked at him with confusion after the last thought. Hikaru merely shrugged and glanced at the clock. There was still some time before the matches would resume. Let see if I can find that vending machine….

V chapter

Dreading the Challenge

Akira gasped for breath, trying to calm down his thundering heart. He wasn't completely sure when the last time he had ran like that was - or when the last time was that breathing had hurt his throat like it did now. Not that it really mattered - he would've gladly run a distance trice as long if it meant that he would get to meet that mysterious boy again, Shindo Hikaru.

Please still be here, he thought while walking inside the building holding the children's Go tournament. After week of contemplating his loss against the boy with bleached bangs, especially after the somewhat horrifying realisation that Shindo had been playing Shido-Go against him, he was itching to get more information on the boy. Who was he really, how long had he been playing Go, would he become a professional one day… could he be what Akira had been waiting for? Or had that game just been a fluke?

Before there hadn't been anything he could've done to get answers, but then, not even half an hour ago, Ishikawa had remembered giving a tournament leaflet to Shindo. The likelihood of Shindo being there was slight at best, but… it was all Akira had, and he was desperate to know more.

Thankfully, his breathing had calmed down by the time he got to the main hall. His heart was still thundering though, now with anticipation. The hall was filled with tables with kids of many different ages playing Go sitting at them. The parents, managers and pros who were attending the tournament were speaking at the sides quietly, but mostly the hall was quiet and focussed. Akira smiled at the atmosphere, before concentrating on locating Shindo, if the boy was still there.

With barely contained haste in his steps, he began to prowl around the hall. Shindo had been dressed pretty casually the last time so he doubted that he'd see the boy with bleached bangs with a suit on him. The bangs were pretty recognisable too, so sorting out who wasn't Shindo was easy… and with it he soon came to conclusion that Shindo wasn't amongst the contestants.

Not left, not right, not among the watchers either… Akira was already beginning to taste the bitterness of disappointment, when one of the watchers moved slightly, revealing a figure standing near a stall where they had Go-related things on sale. Dressed casually, boy with bleached bangs was looking down at the merchandise with his hands casually in his pockets.

Shindo! Trying to be as collected and calm as possible, Akira quickly walked around the crowd and towards the boy. Shindo had a strangely soft look in his eyes as he studied books which had been put on view.

"Shindo," Akira said to alert the boy of his presence, stepping closer. "Shindo Hikaru."

The other boy looked up sharply, his expression tense and alert for split of a second, before it melted back to relaxed smile. "Oh, Toya, hello," the boy held up his hand in a casual greeting. "Came to see the tournament?"

"Uh…" Akira hesitated. He couldn't say that he had just run a long way and taken a train just to talk to the other boy, that would've been embarrassing. "I guess so. What about you? You're not one of the contestants, are you?"

"Nah, I'm just checking it out," Shindo threw a glance towards the games, his smile turning strangely nostalgic. "I've never really seen a tournament like this. Some of these kids are years younger than me, and all of them are so serious… it's awe-inspiring," he shrugged with a strange look about his face, even though he was smiling. "I'm impressed."

"Impressed?" Akira asked carefully. "You… you have never been serious?"

"About Go?" Shindo raised his eyebrows and smiled while tapping the floor with the toe of his shoe. "Not like this, I guess. I haven't entered tournaments or anything of the sort yet."

"Yet?" Akira blinked slowly. "You mean that you will enter some day? Are you going to become a pro?"

"Yes," the boy answered without hesitation, his smile strangely melancholy as he turned back to look at the books in the table before him. "Someday I will." Taking one of the books into his hand and flipping it over to see the back cover, he glanced at Akira. "How about you?"

"I will," Akira answered with similar certainty. The other boy nodded in answer and looked down at the book again, causing Akira to become curious about it. Stepping forward, he tried to see what the book was about. "Are you going to buy that? What is it?"

"Honinbo Shusaku's kifu," Shindo flipped the book over again to show the front cover. 'Invincible; The Games of Shusaku', was the title. "I'm a bit surprise to see a book like this here, but then again this is a Go tournament and it is Shusaku… hmm…" looking up from the book, the boy with bleached bangs looked at the one managing the stall. "How much is it for this?" he asked. When the vendor had given the price, Shindo quickly pulled a wallet out of his pocket and took out the needed money.

"You're interested in Shusaku's games?" Akira asked slowly. Shindo had to be quite serious about Go to buy that book - it definitely wasn't cheap.

"Interested? I recite the games almost every day," Shindo smiled while taking off his backpack to put the book inside. Slinging the backpack onto his shoulder, the boy with bleached bangs looked at Akira curiously. "Soo…" he looked a bit awkward. "What's up?"

Akira drew a breath. "Shindo, would you -"

"Hey, you!" a familiar voice interrupted him before he could finish the question. Looking towards the source of the voice, he saw Ogata Seiji walking towards them, the man's eyes resting on Hikaru. "You're the one who solved that problem during the last round, aren't you? Come with me."

Before either Shindo or Akira could say anything, Ogata began to drag the boy towards the doors leading out of the hall. Shindo let out an annoyed yelp while Akira quickly followed, confused about why Ogata would want to drag Shindo away like that and in the middle of their conversation too. He wasn't about to make a scene out of it, so he followed them out to the corridor, before speaking out. "Master Ogata, wait a moment," he spoke with a frown. "What are you doing?"

"Huh? Akira?" the ninth-dan looked surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just talking to him when you appeared," Akira motioned at Shindo, who had a look of awkward annoyance on his face. "What's going on?"

"He," Ogata motioned at Shindo, whose arm he was still holding, "did not only solve a difficult position of one of the matches but taught about it to one of the players. Your father, the Meijin, asked me to bring him if I saw him again."

"Oh, geez," Shindo muttered, tugging his arm free and rubbing it while looking up at the blonde pro with distain. "It wasn't that difficult and even though the black went about saving his stones a different way, he still won. What's the big deal?"

"What's the big --? It took me a few minutes to figure it out and you say…!" Ogata made a frustrated sound, grabbed hold onto Shindo's arm and began to drag the boy again. Wide eyed, Akira followed. Shindo had solved a problem even a pro would take a moment with? Was his skill really that great?

Soon they came to one of the offices, where Akira saw his father standing over a Goban with a few of the managers looking down at it with interest. "Toya Meijin, I found him," Ogata said.

"Father?" Akira asked with confusion, looking from Shindo to Ogata and then back to his father. "What's going on here?"

Toya Koyo looked down to his son. "You know this boy, Akira?"

"Yes, I played against him once about week ago," Akira rubbed the back of his neck. "I… I lost."

There was a short silence, during which Shindo wrenched himself free of Ogata's hold. Rubbing his arm with a sight frown, he glanced at Akira's father with a contemplative look on his face. "What's going on?" he asked slowly. "Did I do something wrong, or something?"

Akira frowned a bit at the look his father was giving Shindo. His frown turned to a wide-eyed look of shock when his father spoke. "I want to know the extent of your ability," the top pro of the Japanese Go world said in clear challenge.

Father… wants to play against Shindo? Akira thought with shock, looking at Shindo who was answering the Meijin's challenging eyes with thoughtful look. Game like that would certainly determine the full extent of Shindo's skills, but… Akira had wished to play Shindo himself.

"You… want to play against me?" Shindo asked slowly.

"Yes. Sit down," Toya Koyo ordered while taking a seat himself before the Goban. Shindo was still for a moment, glancing to his left with a strange look about his eyes, before his expressions faded into a mask of seriousness. Slinging the backpack from his shoulders, he placed it down before taking a seat. Akira swallowed as the air suddenly turned heavy and tense in the room.

"Put down three stones," Toya Koyo ordered while motioning at Akira. "That's how I play against my son." The message unsaid was definitely heard - Akira's strength and the fact that in this match Shindo's skills would be compared to Akira's. Akira wasn't sure, but for some reason he felt embarrassed. "But with you, I'll play without the Komi," the Meijin added.

Shindo's eyes flashed strangely for a moment, the corner of his mouth twitching as if he was trying hard to hold back a grimace. Glancing at Akira, Ogata and the managers, he let a frown appear to his face. It was clear that he didn't like them watching. Nonetheless, with a lightning fast moves, he placed stones down to three of the four corner stars, the sounds of stones hitting the board almost violently loud.

Akira folded his hands to stop them from shaking. Who was Shindo? Not only was the boy apparently immune to the Meijin's aura, which frightened most people, he was insulted because of the handicaps and lack of Komi. Was he really that arrogant, or… was he that skilful?

-

At first Hikaru had been insulted because of the handicaps the Meijin had wanted to give Sai - it was a severe mistake and outrageous insult concerning how skilful Sai was. And not only did the man want him to place three handicap stones, he also took off the Komi, giving a further handicap when compared to normal, even match. "But with you, I'll play without the Komi," the man had said, as if it was given that he couldn't be better than the man's son - as if Sai couldn't be better.

At the sound of those words, Hikaru had fully indented to gleefully enjoy of how Sai would completely trash the man. Sai, though happy about the chance to play the top pro, had a steely glint in his eyes as well, the kind of look he usually had when he wanted to give a harsh lesson. So, it was given that Sai would show the man what a mistake those handicaps were, yet…

Only a couple of moves had been placed down and Hikaru's hand was shaking. What passion he had felt before was quickly withering away. His eyes clouded with the memory of game so similar and so different from this one… the game on the internet between Sai and Toya Meijin in the future which was Hikaru's past. The game after which Toya Meijin had retired from being a professional Go player. The game after which… Sai became distant.

Hikaru's fingers curled in the wooden bowl of black stones. He hadn't noticed it back then, he had just taken it as one of Sai's tactics to get to play more, he hadn't… believed. Sai had been distressed, distant, worried… and afraid. Had he even smiled after that game? He certainly hadn't been his usually boisterous self….

Sai had known. Hikaru blinked sharply. Sai had known that he would vanish - Sai had even said it and Hikaru hadn't believed… ever since the game against Toya Meijin…! Had that game…? No, there had been moments when Sai had been sad before that too, but the game had certainly been a major turning point. After that there hadn't been any chance of going back. That game… had been the beginning of the end.

I… I can't… this game, I can't… Hikaru pulled his hand from the bowl, unable to even word the horrible fear which was suddenly holding his heart in icy iron fist. This game, it can't…!

"Hikaru?" Sai asked worriedly from his side, looking down at him from behind his fan. "Hikaru, is something wrong?"

Hikaru's hand curled into a fist. He had vowed never to keep Sai from playing, but the game against Toya Koyo had been the moment where the timer had started ticking. If he would allow this game to continue… would the ticking begin earlier? Hikaru looked to his side where Sai was standing, not meeting the ghost's eyes but just looking at him, searching for guidance and strength from the familiar figure. But it didn't offer any help, only reality and truth of what he could lose again.

"Hikaru?" Sai sounded panicked now, crouching at Hikaru's side to meet his eyes. From the look in his eyes, Hikaru could tell that even though he couldn't word his fear, the emotion itself was very clear for the spirit. "Hikaru, what is wrong? Is it the game, the atmosphere? I-if you don't want to continue, we can stop, we can go home…! Hikaru, please answer me!"

Hikaru sighed and closed his eyes, ignoring the looks the other visible people in the room were giving him. It seemed that he usually acted so calm and agreeing around Sai that when he didn't, the spirit was immediately worried. Sure, Sai had been understanding back then too, Sai had been quick to soothe him back then too, but this time it meant more somehow.

I'm scared, Sai. I'm afraid of this game, Hikaru whispered silently. I know you want to play him, but…

"It's alright, Hikaru, there are other opponents for me," Sai quickly assured, still looking a bit panicky. "We can leave, we can go."

Hikaru opened his eyes, relief biting into the fear, but the iron hold still remained. Swallowing the emotions and feelings he turned to the Meijin. "I resign," he said, causing Toya Akira and Ogata ninth-dan to inhale sharply. "I'm not ready for this game." I'm not sure if I'll ever be. He thought while starting to get up and taking his backpack. "Maybe some other time."

"What are you doing, forfeiting? The game has just begun!" Ogata sounded incredulous.

"I don't want to play it," Hikaru said honestly while slinging the bag onto his shoulder. "And you can't make me."

"Yes I can --" Ogata begun to say, but was interrupted.

"It is fine, it's his choice to make, a pity as it may be," the Meijin said, looking at Hikaru thoughtfully while folding his hands. He looked for a moment like he was about to ask something, but decided against it and asked something else. "Are you planning on becoming pro?"

"I have a few things to do before that, but someday I will," Hikaru said glancing at the board for a moment before stepping away from the table. If his knees shook a little as he turned towards the door, then so be it. Glancing at the confused and worried Toya Akira, Hikaru smiled hollowly. "See ya, Toya," he said and walked out, a worried Sai following closely behind.

"Are you okay?" Sai asked while Hikaru struggled to regain his composure. "Should you sit down for a while?"

I'm fine, Sai, I just… I don't know, the boy sighed and ran his hand though his hair. The fear was nearly irrational, but it was possibly the strongest emotion he had ever felt. He didn't want to lose Sai, he was so opposed to the mere thought of it that it hurt. In the future-which-is-past, it… it had broken him apart and in a way he was still picking up the pieces of his heart and trying to make it whole again. Being with Sai helped, but the fear of it happening again… it was too much to handle.

Toya Meijin is the best player in Japan, Hikaru thought while heading towards the building's exit. A worthy opponent for someone like you, but… I feel as if a game between the two of you… it would be so important, that it would change things.

"What things?" Sai asked softly.

Last time? It had changed casual happiness to cutting misery. Too many things. I like the way I am now, with you, like this… I don't want that to change, Hikaru sighed and looked up at the spirit. Any game, Sai. Any game in the world, but not… not that game.

Sai looked down at him with a worried expression, his lips once again hidden behind the Ogi-fan. Then the ghost snapped the fan shut and smiled sadly. "I don't want you to be afraid, Hikaru. If that man is really pursuing the Hand of God, I would like… but I won't ask. Not when it causes you this much pain."

Hikaru smiled and quickly wiped his eyes before the stinging could turn into tears. "Thank you," he whispered out loud before looking forward again. Soon he was at the entrance doors and out of the tournament building. Sai followed him out, where Hikaru stopped to breathe in the cool autumn wind, hoping that it would calm his still aching heart and mind.

"Maybe you should draw something," Sai suggested gently. "As it seems to calm you down."

Hikaru looked at him with surprise, before smiling and nodding. Taking a seat on a bench nearby, he fished his sketchpad and pen and begun to draw Sai. While trying to remember the advice of the art book and draw Sai in at least somewhat recognisable form, he assured himself which each stroke of the pen that the spirit was still there and that he wasn't vanishing. The drawing, drawn with a mind full of agitation and insides twisting with dread, ended up being the best he had drawn so far.