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“What do you think of this one Izzy?” Duff was standing next to a Christmas tree that was a good two feet taller than him. It was a nice tree, sure, but Izzy had the feeling that the cost of the tree would be less nice. Upon further inspection, his suspicions proved correct. The tree was well over their budget. Nearly twice as expensive as the sort of tree they could afford. Also, there was no way it would fit in their car. Or in their apartment. Unperturbed, Duff moved on to the next aisle of trees, mumbling about how they had to find the perfect tree, pointing out several more trees that cost more than their car. Arguably, their car had been free- or stolen, depending on who you asked, Steven called it ‘borrowed without a plan of return’- but the trees were still out of their price range.
The two of them were out buying a Christmas tree to surprise their boyfriend with. Duff was the sort of cheesy sap who would say that “it didn’t matter what decorations they had so long as it was the three of them together”, and Izzy, like with most things, didn’t really give a shit, but they both knew that getting at least a half-assed Christmas tree would make Steven ecstatic. And so here Izzy was, visiting the third tree lot of the day, watching his boyfriend obsess over different species of pine tree with wet socks. He went up to a decent-sized tree that was well within their budget. “Hey, Duff, what about this one?”
Duff was immediately prepared with a list of reasons for why it was a substandard tree. “I don’t know Izzy, it’s kinda short, and a lot of the height comes from one branch at the top. Plus, its needles are kinda thin and wimpy looking. And it doesn’t smell like Christmas.”
“What the fuck does Christmas smell like anyway?” Izzy was ready to go home. First of all, it was really cold, even for the twenty-fourth of December. Additionally, they had two hours to get the tree, get back to the apartment, and get the tree set up before Steven got home from visiting his family, which Izzy knew from experience was not a supportive and happy environment that Steven should be left in for more than ten minutes, tops. Izzy would rather not be in the middle of holding a tree up when Steven showed up in need of a hug. Which was why they needed to hurry up and pick out a tree. But probably not the tree Duff was dragging him over to see, because there was no way that tree was fitting in their living room.
Out of the three of them, Izzy was probably the one that cared the least about Christmas. Sure, he liked boozy eggnog and free presents as much as the next guy, but if Christmas didn’t happen, he wouldn’t experience mind-crushing disappointment. In fact, he would happily sacrifice Christmas for checkout lines that weren’t insanely long. He had gone to the grocery store and had ended up waiting a good half hour just to buy a jar of tomato sauce and some spaghetti for dinner, behind women in their fifties with carts piled high with shit like peppermint bark and all-purpose baking flour.
Izzy had then come home to find that his two boyfriends had found the time and resources to make paper snowflakes. A fuck ton of paper snowflakes. It was safe to say that they had made so many snowflakes they weren’t gonna be able to find the space to put them all up. While he was sure it had been Steven’s idea to make them, Izzy was equally sure that Duff had greatly encouraged the idea. He loved them both dearly, but sometimes they exposed him to too much happiness. When he had bent down to give them both kisses, Steven had scooped up all the paper scraps and dumped them in his hair while shouting “look, Izzy, it’s snowing!” Seeing his boyfriends happy was always worth it, but he wished their happiness didn’t involve an apartment covered in a fine layer of tiny scraps of paper.
“Okay Izzy, I think I’ve found the tree,” Duff called to him from a few trees away, pulling him out of his thoughts. Silently hoping this tree was less expensive than the last three trees that Duff had thought were “the tree”, Izzy went over to see the tree Duff had picked out.
“Why is it blue?” It wasn’t like a bright blue, but this tree was definitely blue. Izzy had kinda thought that Christmas trees were supposed to be green.
“It’s a blue spruce I think. Come on Baby, it’s twenty dollars under our budget, it doesn’t have any weird gaps between the branches, and it’s at least tall enough that we shouldn’t have to put it on a table or anything. Aside from the color, I don’t see anything wrong with it.”
Izzy did not need an essay on why Duff thought the tree was good. So long as they had the fucking tree and got it home Izzy was happy. “I wasn’t complaining, let’s hurry up and buy the fucking tree. We still gotta get it home and get it up, and I’m not looking forward to being stuck in traffic with a tree on the roof of the car.”
Duff also bought a tree stand, claiming it was necessary to keep the tree up, and tipped the sixteen-year-old who helped them get the tree on top of the car two dollars. The two of them got in the car, Duff in charge of the radio and Izzy in charge of the driving. As Izzy was carefully pulling out of the Christmas tree parking-lot, Duff turned to look at him. “Hey Izzy, what’s our ornament situation?”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Do you think the CVS on Hollywood Blvd would have something?”
Fortunately, the CVS did have Christmas decorations. Unfortunately, the two of them had about ten dollars left. They picked out lights first; Izzy pointing out that in the dark, a Christmas tree with just lights looked almost the same as a fully decorated Christmas tree. Izzy found some multicolored lights that were only three dollars and a star that was only a dollar-fifty, which left a little more than five dollars for ornaments. Which wasn’t going to be enough. He could tell that Duff was starting to panic that Steven wouldn’t like a tree without ornaments and that it was going to be his fault if their boyfriend was upset. Not wanting to have his boyfriend to experience a mental breakdown over Christmas ornaments in the middle of a CVS, Izzy tried to calm Duff down while coming up with an alternative for ornaments that they could afford.
“Okay, so we can’t get the ornaments. What’s something shiny and colorful that we could stick on the tree instead? Come on Sweetheart, you’re smart, I’m also here, between the two of us we should be able to come up with something.” Izzy tried placing a comforting hand on Duff’s shoulder. Slowly, Duff’s facial expression changed from bubbling panic to pensive thought.
“I have a bunch of empty beer cans in my closet that I’ve been too lazy to throw away. They’re shiny and colorful I guess. I don’t know how we’d hang them up on the tree though. When I was little, my sister used to make popcorn garlands for the tree, we could do that, if we had a needle and some thread to put the popcorn on.” Duff trailed off, thinking hard.
“Okay Sweetheart, I’m gonna go see if I can find cheap popcorn. Even if we don’t use it, Steven will still appreciate it. I’ll meet you back here in front of the Christmas lights in five to ten minutes, alright?”
Five minutes later, the two of them were regrouping in the seasonal aisle of CVS. Izzy had found a jar of popcorn kernels that were under a dollar and had also grabbed a box of mini candy canes that were fairly cheap. Duff had found a tiny sewing kit and a fifty-cent box of paper clips that he said they could use to hang the beer cans up with. Together they piled their small assortment of items onto the checkout counter, receiving the judgmental look from the youngish looking woman scanning and bagging their stuff. Izzy didn’t care, their total was nine dollars and eighty-seven cents, life was good. Now they just had to get home, put the tree up, and decorate it. All under two hours.
The traffic home wasn’t too bad, a fucking Christmas miracle if you asked him. They managed to get the tree up the four flights of stairs to their apartment, an endeavor which took a solid forty minutes on its own. Getting the tree in the tree stand was easier, with Duff holding the tree up while Izzy lay under it and tightened the giant screws that held the tree in the tree stand. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but at least they had a tree. The two of them managed to get the lights and the star put up, despite the tree being a little bit tall and skinny, which meant that even though it wasn’t a big tree, Duff still had to drag a chair over in order to reach the top of it.
Duff showed Izzy his idea for the paper clips and beer cans, where he crushed the beer can and then bent the paper clip around the tab of the can, using the extra to create a hook with which to hang the homemade ornament. Containing his concern at Duff’s apparent hoarding problem, Izzy went to work turning the surprisingly large collection of empty beer cans into ornaments while Duff popped the popcorn. No one but Duff was allowed to use the stove, due to a mishap involving Slash, a stove, a fire alarm, and a package of pancake mix.
They were just putting the finishing touches on their Christmas tree when the door to the apartment opened. Steven was wrapped in what appeared to be three coats, two hats, at least five scarves, and a feeling of tangible sadness. Looking up dejectedly, Steven noticed the Christmas tree for the first time, unhappiness being quickly replaced with surprise. There was a moment of silence as Steven stared disbelievingly at the tree, mouth moving but no sound coming out.
“Merry Christmas Stevie!” Duff shouted, and Steven’s face lit up in one of his heart-melting smiles as Izzy wrapped him into a hug, then scooped him up and sat them both down on the couch. Duff quickly joined them, giving Steven a hug of his own.
“You guys got us a tree.” Steven’s voice was filled with disbelief.
“Yeah, we got a tree.” Though it had been stress-inducing and difficult to manage, Izzy felt it had been worth it to see Steven so happy. “It’s our first Christmas together, we knew you’d want it to be special.”
Steven sniffled, and suddenly Duff and Izzy had a sobbing drummer sitting between them. Izzy squeezed the blonde’s shoulders comfortingly, not knowing what to say. Duff pulled Steven into another hug, “Please don’t cry Steven; if you cry I’m gonna start crying.”
“It’s just, I love you guys so much,” Steven was smiling through his tears, “And you guys make me so happy, I can’t help myself.”
“We love you so much too Steven.”
Izzy wasn’t one for sappy emotional shit, but his love for both Steven and Duff was anything but sappy. “Yeah, we love ya Stevie.”