Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

They were on the 100th floor of the Tower when it happened.

"To celebrate the fact that we have already reached the 100th floor of the Tower, I'm letting you guys have a one month break." Khun announced as soon as they set foot on the Floor.

There was a faint smile - yes, a genuine smile and not a smirk - on his face as he faced them, his long blue hair fluttering in the wind as their friends cheered at the vacation given to them.

Almost everyone of their friends from the Floor of Tests were with them: Rak, Shibisu, Hatz, Anaak, Endorsi, Hwaryun and Laure. Their friends from Team Sweet and Sour were unfortunately not with them as Khun had decided to bulldoze their way up the floors at the highest speed possible.

Team Sweet and Sour were unable to keep up with Khun's pace and Wangnan decided that their team would just catch up to Bam's team as soon as possible.

While Team Sweet and Sour grew to an exceptional level for Regulars, they were still not at a level where they could fight Rankers. So instead of becoming the weakest link to the whole group, they chose to be left behind by the main group but not without promising first to regroup later once they got stronger.

It was a bit of a pity, but they all understood that it would have been the best decision for all of them. After all, Bam's team still had Jahad's forces following hot on their tails.

Bam soon found those cobalt blue eyes clashing with his own and he gave a cheerful smile to the other. This, in turn, made the smile on Khun's lips grow just a little wider.

It's been three years since then and if Bam were to be honest, he never expected that they would be able to climb so many floors within that short span of time.

Three years since Khun had made that decision and had also started growing out his hair. His silvery blue hair that now reached well past his waist.

Bam knew that the blunette had always been an attractive person. Maybe at first he didn't know, but during their climb up the Tower, it had been impossible for him not to see the second glances, wolf whistles and leering grins thrown at his best friend.

There was just something about the genius Lightbearer that made people turn their attention at him.

He was different from Bam who made people want to stay by his side or aid him due to his personality and beliefs - the so-called Irregular Charisma.

No, Khun was the type of person who made people want people to follow him regardless of what his personality might be. It's because he makes people believe in his abilities and have faith in him that he will accomplish whatever it is that he set out for.

The Battle at the Nest had been the start. Where everyone originally only saw Jue Viole Grace and his monstrous abilities as an Irregular...

Those at the top of the food chain then found Khun Aguero Agnis - an unknown and defected son of Khun Edhuan - not at the heart of the actual battlefield but was originally hidden inconspicuously as he directed the flow of the battle behind the front lines.

A mere Regular outsmarting countless Rankers as he watched them fall to his ploys step by step. His split-second decision-making and strategies that could turn the tides of the battle ensnared people's desires to make him one of their own.

As his wit and wisdom were valuable assets inherent to Khun alone, both FUG and Jahad's army wanted to bring him to their side.

Even White - a Slayer notorious for gluttonously devouring souls - would rather spare Khun and deem him far more useful as a 'living person' than just a 'tasty soul'. And that says something considering how the Slayer would pretty much try to inhale every soul in sight.

Bam had no idea just how many times Khun had to save his sorry ass that was in a desperate situation exactly because he didn't listen to Khun's plans and went ahead with his own impulses.

Thank goodness Khun was with Bam. It sometimes made Bam wonder, just why did Khun stick with him for so long despite all the troubles he brought to the blunette?

But Bam could never bring himself to ask that question. Although he'd known the Lightbearer for a long time, there was still a part of himself that was terrified of what the answer may be.

That the answer may not necessarily be the one Bam wanted to hear. And that if he did hear that unwanted answer, a part of him - that was unknown even to Bam - might break.

So Bam never asked.

Bam could clearly remember the time when Khun had asked him. "How fast do you want to climb the Tower?"

Three years ago, Bam had answered. "As fast as possible."

Because that way, they would be able to get whatever destiny he was supposed to have done faster and they would all be able to rest sooner.

Bam would have all the time in the world to spend with his precious ones by then.

"Got it." That was all Khun had replied along with a small smile after a short pause, the determination on those blue eyes drowning Bam in its depths.

And three years later, here they were, near the top of the Tower, only a few floors away, at a place that most could only ever dream of.

Khun had truly sent Bam to the top and kept his promise, one that had been carelessly uttered in the Floor of Tests.

Bam approached the blunette and carefully took a lock of those silvery blue hair into his hand, twirling it around his finger.

"Your hair's gotten really long, Khun... Aren't you going to cut it?" Bam asked and he watched as the other male took a glance at the blue tresses Bam's hand held.

"No, I don't think so. It's a little reminder, you see." Khun grinned at him, pearly whites showing and Bam could only stare, the words at the back of his throat swallowed back.

Bam could never understand how a man could look so good in long hair. When he was Jue Viole Grace, he grew his hair out even longer than Khun's but he didn't think that made him look much better.

But long hair on Khun? It's absolutely stunning.

It softened the edges on Khun's face and made him seem gentler, mellow and far less dangerous than he actually was. And apparently, a gentle Khun was a temptation that most people find impossible to resist.

Back when Khun had shorter hair, there were already some people who mistook Khun for a girl. It wasn't exactly a surprise to their team as the blunette's looks were admittedly rather androgynous.

But what surprised Bam was that even after knowing that Khun was a male, there were still some men that tried to flirt and hook up with him.

When Khun had shorter hair, most would still have apprehensions on hitting the blunette up upon finding out and leave him alone. But when Khun grew his hair out, even after finding out his gender, most would completely disregard the fact that he's a man and continue to pester him.

Seeing such a scene brought an uncomfortable feeling in Bam, as if his best friend would be whisked away by some random people so Bam took it upon himself to drive those pursuers-slash-stalkers away.

He knew that Khun could deal with those troublemakers himself, but that didn't keep Bam from wanting to do something for the blunette.

Even if they had to resort to him pretending to be Khun's boyfriend to finally chase those men away when being just a bodyguard won't do, Bam was completely okay with it.

Now, with longer hair, those occurrences were even more frequent than before.

With habits already set in place, Bam had quickly found a number of men eyeing the women in their group, including Khun as well, and Bam wrapped an arm around Khun's shoulders with practiced ease.

Over the years, Bam had grown taller, even surpassing Khun's height by half a head, hence it won't look too awkward for him to half-hug a 'woman' smaller than him.

While Khun had been busying himself to look for a place their group could stay in, already used to Bam's sudden touches, Bam made sure to throw pointed glares at those peeping at their team, particularly the ones looking at the Lightbearer.

That seemed to scare those perverts away for now.

As per their usual arrangements, Bam, Khun and Rak stayed in a single room. The room they're assigned to had two double beds and an adjoining bathroom, one of the beds Rak immediately claimed for himself - putting all his stuff on it before leaving - so they shared the remaining bed.

Nothing out of the usual really.

Bam laid on one side of the bed, with a smile on his face, his limbs spread out, taking a quick breather. Once he's out of their room, he's sure to stumble into a chaotic but fun mess his friends would drag him to.

Khun sat on the other side, brushing his wavy hair. It was a part of the blunette's nightly routines just before freshening up in the bath, Bam had learned throughout the years.

Brush it silky smooth and then put it on a loose bun so as to not get it wet. Once out of the bathroom, brush it again.

Bam sat up and faced Khun, his hand already reaching out. "Want me to do it for you?"

Khun didn't even bother replying as he turned his back to Bam, wavy locks of silvery blue flowing behind him, the brush he held already passed to the awaiting hand.

Gently, Bam first ran his fingers through his Lightbearer's hair, velvety as always, without a single knot in it.

It was always a pleasure to touch Khun's hair and the brunette could hear the other lightly hum at the soft caress, could feel how he leaned to Bam's touch.

But that doesn't mean that Bam didn't appreciate moments like this.

Taking his sweet time, Bam styled Khun's hair into an elegant bun, the change allowing him to see the milky nape now often hidden by long silvery blue tresses.

It was actually one of the things that Bam always wondered about... How Khun was able to keep his complexion extremely fair and smooth even amidst all the life and death situations they're in, the bloody battles and escapes.

There were scars, sure, but those scars would also fade into ones you'd hardly notice from afar and even out in time.

Bam's skin had tanned a little over the years but Khun's skin was still as pale, if not paler than when Bam first met him.

Bam may have stared at the back of Khun's nape longer than he should have had, but if Khun noticed, he didn't say anything.

Clearing his throat, Bam whipped a hand mirror from Khun's lighthouse - the one that they used to mostly store their clothes and other stuff - and leaned over the blunette's shoulders as he aimed the mirror at them.

"Done!" He announced, and Bam didn't miss how Khun's eyes fluttered open on the mirror's reflection before assessing the hairdo Bam did for him.

"Bam." A tinkling laughter. "I'm only going to the bathroom, why did you make my hair look like I'm a woman going to a fancy event or something?"

"Sorry, sorry, got a bit carried away." Bam replied with a chuckle of his own. "Your hair feels really good to the touch and easy to style."

Khun gave him a disbelieving face, his brows furrowed and his lower lip jutted out in a pout, his expression was one that made Bam unable to contain his giggles. "What do you mean 'easy to style'? I used to take hours just to straighten it up."

"Were you napping earlier?" Bam asked after he managed to stop himself from laughing.

"A bit. I need to catch up on some sleep." As if to prove Khun's words true, a small yawn slipped past his lips, making him shut his eyes tight, reminding Bam of a cat he once petted.

"Then you should quickly wash up, I'll tell the others you won't be joining for tonight's games."

"Thanks, Bam. I'd really appreciate that." Khun smiled softly at him - one that made him seem like an angel - before standing up and heading to the bathroom.

Only after hearing a quiet click from the bathroom door did Bam stand up from the bed and leave their room.

When Bam told their friends of Khun's choice not to join, none of them were really surprised.

"It can't be helped, he's been working too hard especially these past few years." Shibisu commented before he sighed. "I'm actually more surprised he lasted this long without taking proper breaks."

"If only he could be a little bit like that guy over there." Endorsi pointed a finger on Laure who was sound asleep sprawled on the floor like a doormat.

A faint "I could hear you" could be heard from the person followed by snores.

This in turn, led to their whole group bursting into a hearty laughter.

"Then, I'll just go check up on Khun and go back here." Bam waved as he jogged back to their room.

Bam was unable to return later that night.

How could he?

When Bam came back, Khun was already sleeping so peacefully on their bed, his silvery blue hair forming a halo on his figure, body curled in a somewhat fetal position, his blue pajamas loosely draped on his frame, revealing the creamy skin underneath.

Khun must have been so tired if he fell asleep this easily, Bam mused.

Seeing as how the blanket was slowly slipping off, Bam moved to adjust it and brought it up to the blunette's chest.

Sensing the movements, silvery blue eyelashes fluttered open and the bluest of sapphires focused on Bam's figure who was just about to move away from how he was leaning over the blunette.

At the sudden attention, Bam froze.

"Bam...?" Khun asked sleepily, his eyes trying to blink the drowsiness away just to continue speaking with Bam.

"Ah, keep on sleeping, Khun." Bam brushed his hand on the pale fringes framing Khun's face. "I was just checking on you."

"Oh." Khun replied absentmindedly, a small yet contented smile on his face, his eyelids drooping lower, as he leaned towards Bam's touches on his hair.

As Bam tried to pull his hand away, there was a gentle pull on his pinky finger, Khun's hand lightly holding onto it.

The hold on his finger was so loose that Bam could easily shake it away with the slightest movement.

But Bam didn't.

Khun wasn't a touchy person. While he would accept any skinship like hugs, hair touching or shoulder pats from Bam, it was rare for him to initiate contact.

Considering how there's still a dreamy look on Khun's face, Bam could tell that he wasn't fully awake yet. Once Khun falls asleep, it'll take at least a few cups of coffee or an extreme life-threatening danger for him to wake up right on the spot. Otherwise, Fully-awake Khun won't do such a thing as it would embarrass him to no end.

So for these rare moments where Khun was being adorably clingy with Bam, Bam couldn't bring himself to push the other away.

"...stay?" Bam could hardly hear Khun's voice as it was so low and soft but he knew what the other was saying by watching those pink lips part and move to form the word - that single word that Khun would only ever ask for Bam whenever the blunette was out of his usual self.

A quiet request to not be left behind.

And so Bam grasped that hand holding onto him as he shifted and laid on the bed beside Khun, slipping under the cover, and took his spot next to the drowsy blunette in familiar motions.

Khun snuggled next to him as a satisfied expression flitted onto his face.

This was a side of Khun that only Bam and Rak ever saw.

Sleeping Khun loved cuddles. Or having something wrapped around him.

It was actually the reason why in the mornings, they'd always find Khun all wrapped within his blanket with only tufts of silvery blue hair peeking out.

Bam found this little cuddling quirk by accident. During their climb up the Tower, there was an instance when their team was unable to pack enough blankets for the team as the more important things took precedence for storage in Khun's lighthouses.

It was during one of their escapes from Jahad's troops. Their team went on a Floor filled with forests as far as the eyes could see, with nothing but wilderness around them.

Khun - being Khun - pretended not to need a blanket for himself as he prioritized giving their limited stock to the ones who needed it the most in the team. Also, Khun being Khun, chose to give the remaining blanket to Bam instead of taking it for himself.

As someone who used to sleep on dirty cave floors, Bam had never needed blankets to sleep so when he tried to give it back for Khun to use, knowing that the blunette likes sleeping with it, all he received was a sharp stare from the blunette.

One that told him he'd burn or throw the blanket away if Bam didn't take it. Well, Khun most probably won't do that, but he'd definitely not use it either.

So they had to settle on a compromise.

Both of them would share the remaining blanket.

As their group camped in the forest, surrounding a small fire, their bodies huddled in blankets, making small talks and cheerful chitchats despite the deadly situation they're in, Bam felt so much warmer.

Sure, there was the fire in front of them that gave off warmth, but its warmth was pitifully small compared to the cold night breeze in the forest.

It was the warmth that came from the people around him. The fact that despite the dangers they're going through, they're all still alive, smiling, laughing and at Bam's side.

Knowing that made Bam feel warm inside out.

Bam leaned back a bit on the tree behind him, wanting to get a fuller view of the scenery - his friends being happy surrounding a tiny campfire as if they had no problems at all - and then there was a weight falling onto his shoulder and a gentle tickle on his cheek as soft blue locks appeared on a corner of Bam's vision.

And when he turned, he found Khun leaning onto his shoulder, his eyes closed shut, eyelashes forming a pale fan across his cheeks, eyebrows relaxed and without a knit as it usually does. Pink lips framing a mouth slightly agape as soft puffs of air warmed Bam's neck.

With Bam's sudden shift, Khun who had already fallen asleep on where he sat next to Bam, was also pulled back along with the blanket they shared and ended up leaning against Bam.

Bam's eyes widened at the sight.

It was rare for Khun to fall asleep before everyone else. He was always the one to fall asleep last, reviewing and revising their plans to make it as flawless as possible. Even Bam who was known to train until morning came and his body dropped due to exhaustion still failed to beat Khun on that.

And then Khun would be among the firsts to wake up on their team, functioning only with coffee and as little sleep as he was able to cram into his system.

On the few times that Bam woke up earlier than Khun, Khun had his whole body wrapped up in his blanket, covering even his face so Bam had been unable to see a clear view of the blunette's sleeping's face.

But Bam never expected to see it on this occasion and especially not this close. It felt like he's invading Khun's personal space, and yet Bam couldn't bring himself to move away and could only relish in their closeness and the warmth coming from Khun's body leaning against his own.

After Khun had gotten used to the Firefish' abilities, he no longer had issues controlling his own temperature and was back to his usual slightly cooler than usual body temperature.

Yet at the time, it felt like Bam burned at the other's touch. Burned in an unfamiliar yet extremely pleasant way.

And so, Bam gave into his impulses, and raised a hand to brush against Khun's bangs, moving it out of the other's face, running his fingers on Khun's hair now reaching past his shoulders, unaware of the fact that the rest of their friends have stopped chatting and was just watching him and his entranced actions.

"...mmm..." Khun let out a soft sound, one that Bam couldn't quite tell if it was a whimper or a purr, as the blunette moved to make himself more comfortable in his sleep, effectively hiding his face on the crook of Bam's neck.

So if Bam subtly adjusted his own position to better accommodate the sleeping blunette so he won't move away, then that's Bam's secret (no, not really, their friends obviously noticed).

And if Bam started secretly hiding the blankets on the nights they had to camp out or giving his away to their other friends just so he could share with Khun again, and see his usually stoic friend cuddle up to him, then that's no one's business but his own.

So how could Bam leave when Khun was asking for him to stay?

Bam closed his eyes and mentally said 'sorry' to their friends as there's no way he could still go down after this.

With the familiar warmth and breathing next to him, it didn't take long for Bam to fall asleep.

It was only after an hour had passed and there's no signs of the brunette coming down did their friends send Shibisu to check on them.

Shibisu had to stop himself from cooing upon seeing the two of them asleep together with Khun's head leaning on Bam's chest while one of Bam's arms was under Khun's head and the other was loosely wrapped around Khun's waist.

Apparently, it wasn't only Khun who liked cuddles in his sleep.

When Bam woke up the next day, the sun was already high and shining bright, Khun was still asleep cradled within his arms, looking every bit like a contented cat lying on its owner's lap.

And Bam would hate to wake him up, so that act of getting up from the bed - one that lasted only within seconds - took so much longer, a couple of minutes give or take, because there's a certain blunette who stirs and knits his eyebrows when Bam so much as moves a little.

After ensuring that Khun was still fast asleep and tucked in, belatedly noticing that Rak was still out cold as well, Bam headed towards the kitchen.

Bam went there to get himself some quick breakfast before training but before he knew what he was doing, Bam was already boiling water and preparing coffee for Khun and the blunette's favorite kind of breakfast was already made - fried eggs, toasts, bacon and the likes.

Seeing the already made Khun-favorite breakfast, Bam could only brace himself into waking the blunette up and have him eat it.

He'd heard of tales of how Khun chewed out anyone who tried to wake him up on the rare times he slept in and boy, did it not turn out well.

Bam never experienced such a treatment himself but it never hurts to prepare himself and hope that the breakfast would be more than enough apology for disturbing the blunette's well-deserved and long-delayed sleep.

Holding the tray containing two Western breakfast(this type of breakfast was apparently called 'Western Style', Bam had no idea why and where exactly this supposed 'West' is) for two, a bunch of bananas, two coffees and hot chocolate, Bam went back to their room.

He internally thanked himself for forgetting to properly close the door when he first went out as he was able to enter without any issues.

Khun had curled up in the middle of the bed, the blanket Bam had neatly covered him in was somehow fully wrapped around the blunette's body like a cocoon.

Bam set down the tray at the bedside dresser separating the two beds. Upon smelling the chocolate drink, Rak's eyes immediately snapped awake and scampered over his share of breakfast - the usual banana and chocolate drink.

"Black Turtle, you really treat your leader the best!"

Khun, on the other hand, only scrunched up his face at the sudden noise and curled himself into a tighter ball.

Bam went to Khun's side, gently shook the blunette's shoulder and spoke in a warm voice. "Khun, I've got you breakfast. Eat with me?"

A lone blue eye slowly opened and peeked behind silvery blue eyelashes, sleep still evident with its misty luster.

"You can sleep again after you've eaten, if you'd like?" Bam persuaded, one hand already reached out for the Lightbearer to take.

Bam could see Khun turn his face away and then a muffled groan was heard before a slender hand slipped out from the blanket, beckoning Bam to come closer and pull the other up.

That's all the cue Bam needed for him to wrap his arms around Khun and sit him upright against his own body.

Clearly, Khun had no plans on moving himself anytime soon.

And that's fine with Bam.

Bam was actually glad that he didn't experience the terror Khun was supposed to unleash upon waking up. If you look at the guy, doesn't he look like a harmless cat that just woke up?

And apparently, there's a big difference between Fully-awake Khun and Still-sleepy Khun. Fully-awake Khun would be so prideful that he won't ask anyone - even Bam - for help on anything. Still-sleepy Khun begged to differ.

This sleepy and catlike Khun loved being spoiled , his eyes were closed and just letting Bam maneuver him around.

"Want me to feed you?" Bam jokingly asked.

To his surprise, Khun actually nodded before burying his face onto Bam's chest.

"Blue Turtle is being shameless! Not like the Great Rak, able to eat on his own!" Rak sneered before popping a peeled banana into his mouth.

Khun just furrowed his brows, his eyes still closed but did not say anything at all.

All of this just made Bam chuckle as he moved Khun's hair away from his face and tucked it behind him, his right arm holding Khun into place while his other arm was in charge of feeding the both of them.

Taking one small bite after another small bite, it took the whole morning before Bam was able to have both him and Khun finish breakfast, their coffees no longer piping hot but of a more lukewarm temperature.

One that Still-sleepy Khun liked as he was able to drink it in a few slow sips without burning his mouth.

It didn't help wake him up though.

"-you doing, Khun?" Bam could hear Hwaryun's questioning voice behind the door of their designated 'meeting' room. The door hadn't been fully closed, and normally, Bam wouldn't be the type to eavesdrop.

But he heard Khun's name and and Khun usually won't speak with Hwaryun unless they had to discuss strategies. When Khun said their team will have a one month break, that included a break from strategy meetings.

"I don't understand what you're talking about." Khun's familiar voice answered, the tone flat and unreadable.

"You shouldn't be here." He could hear Hwaryun say, and Bam could faintly hear the concern she tried to hide in her voice.

"And where else am I supposed to be? If not here?" There was a challenging tone in Khun's voice as he questioned back.

For a moment, Bam could only hear silence from the room.

"This path that you have chosen... You know exactly where it will lead you to." There was exasperation in the redhead's voice. "So why are you still choosing this path?"

"Then you should also already know why I chose this path." Khun's voice was softer, only a murmur now.

Bam knew what he was doing was wrong but he wanted to know more.

Knowing Hwaryun, she won't bring up a topic unless it's something important. That fact by itself was enough to arouse Bam's curiosity as this concerned Khun.

But then Bam heard approaching footsteps towards his direction and it wouldn't be good to be caught doing such a thing - even if it's by his friends - so he tamped down his urge to stay and calmly walked away from the door.

A lot of things happened afterwards and Khun had acted the same as before that Bam eventually forgot the conversation between the two.

Bam hummed as he flipped the pancakes, Khun was watching him from the island counter, drinking the coffee that Bam had brewed from him earlier, patiently waiting for the pancakes to be done.

There was a comfortable silence between them, no words being spoken, the only sounds being those that came from Bam shuffling around the kitchen and Khun sipping his drink, their presence enough to tell the other that they're with them.

It spoke of volumes that words could never convey.

There was never any need for words between the two of them. Whatever they're thinking, whatever they're feeling, the other instantly knows as if they're the one experiencing it themselves.

It's always been like that.

Their relationship had always been like that. It had always been about trust, understanding and acceptance. Trust that they'd have each other's back even if the whole Tower had forsaken them. Understanding that no matter what happens or what the other does, it was always for their own good. Acceptance on whatever changes or challenges were thrown at them, they'd take it on a stride and win over it.

If - at a certain point of time in the past - the nature of their bond had changed, the two of them never questioned it. They just trusted each other's intentions, understood just how special their connection was, and silently accepted it as it is.

There's no need to place a name on what they're feeling, no need to voice it out or put a label on each other just because of it.

It just is.

So they opted for silence when using words was superfluous.

And then a yawn came from the living room's direction, breaking the quiet tranquility surrounding them, prompting the two to look towards the sound.

Anaak groggily walked towards them, and took a seat opposite of Khun. In perfect coordination, Bam handed her a plate of an already made pancake and chocolate syrup (Rak had influenced her choice of pancake syrup at an unknown point in time) while Khun gave her a glass of milk as well as a spoon and fork.

They did those all in a matter of seconds before going back to what they were doing before Anaak arrived: Bam cooking pancakes while Khun was sipping his coffee.

Blinking twice, Anaak alternated her gaze between the Bam who just smiled upon seeing her gaze and Khun who only raised an eyebrow at her as he continued his coffee and then down to her breakfast.

"...you guys remind me of my parents." She muttered as she started on her breakfast. "So annoyingly in sync and all that whatnot."

After taking a bite of the pancake and a gulp of the milk, she pointedly stared at them. "I'm not sure if anyone ever told you guys that you act like an old married couple?"

Anaak never realized prior to this. She'd been in battles together with them and knew just how coordinated and seamless their attacks could be. She also knew that even outside the battlefield, the same thing applies for the two of them as well.

It was just that she hardly ever met the two of them in the kitchen alone before. Usually it was Shibisu who was attending to her needs, the team's self-proclaimed father figure.

But if she looked back now, both Bam and Khun had always been so close before, even back at the Floor of Tests. They would always be together in a team, unless certain situations forced them apart like that time with FUG or Khun's coma.

Looking at them now made her recall some old memories from her childhood, a time long past that she would rather not remember as it brings more pain and suffering than warmth and comfort on most days.

At that short moment where they placed food right in front of her, for a second, her vision blurred and it overlapped with her parents' images instead, as if it was her parents that were serving food for her.

And it was crazy, because they looked nothing like her parents at all.

Even the way those two glanced at each other at her words before shrugging was so in sync - it was the same reaction her parents used to give her when she babbled some incomprehensible nonsense before laughing at her and asking her for more details.

And then Anaak heard a short snort.

It made her brown eyes widen and she looked at the direction it came from. It was Khun with one of his hands hiding the lower half of his face, but it was obvious that he was silently laughing as those usual sharp blue eyes crinkled  and turned into crescents as he looked at her.

"Hey, don't go getting emotional on us now. You already have Shibisu as your self-proclaimed adoptive dad." It was a familiar teasing tone and yet Anaak could feel her eyes burn with unshed tears - tears she wasn't willing to shed.

And when she looked at Bam, he had a familiar helpless but adoring smile on his face - one that she’d often see from her father even as her mom was mock beating him - as he stared at the blunette.

Really just like them.

Although Anaak would never tell them, she was honestly thankful that even for just a few moments, it felt like she was with her parents again.

Anaak earnestly hoped that these two would find their happiness.

"Khun! Come join us, we still need one more player to make the teams even!" Shibisu shouted, one of his hands holding a ball and the other enthusiastically waving at the Lightbearer. By his side stood a smiling Bam, a Rak holding a bunch of bananas, a Hatz who looked as if he just got dragged into this whole situation, and an Endorsi who looked like she wanted to be anywhere else but here.

They were in the backyard of their rather spacious rented house, and Khun had just gone out to take a breather when he found their little group in the area as well.

Khun only raised a brow at them in askance so Bam took it upon himself to explain.

"We're playing volleyball since they(Shibisu) wanted a bit of exercise." Bam stated, his golden eyes sparkling at the idea. It's been a while since they last played a friendly sport like this. "Shinsu's only allowed for body-reinforcement."

"And you're missing one playing to make the teams even and start?" Khun hummed, a hand on his chin as he swept a glance at the supposed players, his mind obviously racing to see who'd be on whose team, how the game will end up with and stuff.

"No thanks, I'd rather watch." Khun finally replied before pointing towards Endorsi and Hatz. "Warrior Code and Princess over there look like they'd be aiming for my face every single time they had the ball."

"Whoa, are you a mind-reader, Khun? How did you know?" Endorsi fake gasped, a hand flying to her mouth with an exaggerated expression of surprise on her face. "I'd love to smash a ball into that oh so pretty face of yours!"

Hatz made a small sound of protest, mumbling how it wasn't warrior-like to aim at people's faces and he's going to play the game honoring the rules like a true warrior should.

"And I know you definitely would so I'll pass." Khun then turned towards Bam before giving an apologetic smile. "Maybe next time, Bam?"

Bam would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed but Khun did promise a 'next time', so he'd get a chance again to play together with Khun, right?

"Isu! I'll be watching you guys with Khun, the teams would be even if I don't play too, right?" Bam called out and immediately pulled Khun to a corner where they had a clear view on the game, but not so dangerous that they'd often receive a stray ball in their direction.

They could hear Shibisu let out a disappointed "aaaw" before quickly perking up and dividing the four of them into teams - Shibisu and Rak on one team and then Endorsi and Hatz on the other.

Needless to say, this was not your ordinary volleyball game as the ball was whizzing past the air in high paced momentum, the back and forth between the two teams dazzling the eyes and leaving one in awe.

There was a time when Endorsi did a really hard spike and it landed on Shibisu's head, forcing the freckled brunette's face down into the ground with a loud crack, a cobweb of cracks spreading out from where his face landed.

Shibisu's body twitched for a second before he pulled his face out of the hole he just made. Aside from a few scratches and dirt on his face, Shibisu was perfectly fine even after that - quite literally - groundbreaking hit.

"How could you do that to me, your father?!" Shibisu wailed as he tried to get closer to Endorsi, attempting to rub his dust-filled face on the Princess' clean one.

"Get away from me, you old man!" Endorsi shrieked as she jumped out of his way while Hatz just facepalmed at them.

"You're centuries older than him, Princess." He commented under his breath, one that Endorsi somehow heard and in response, threw the ball at Hatz as well.

The poor ball didn't reach its intended target - Hatz's face - as it was tragically sliced in half.

Hatz then proceeded to separate the two, holding onto a fake crying Shibisu so he couldn't get close to Endorsi behind him.

"Tracksuit Turtle! Where's the rest of the bananas you promised me?" Rak bellowed, waving his short arms for attention.

At this, Bam and Khun shared a glance before bursting into hearty laughter, holding their stomachs, their shoulders touching and more warmth and happiness bubbled in Bam's chest.

To others, moments like this may be just silly episodes where they do nothing but horse around, moments that weren't anything special but to Bam...

Moments like this were worth the whole Tower, ones worth treasuring forever, safely tucked away in the innermost part of his heart.

Bam - of all people - knew not to take things for granted. He'd already experienced doing so, and the consequences it will lead to.

So every second that Bam spent with his precious friends, Bam would cherish it with all his might.

The one next to him with his flowing silvery blue hair and sapphire blue eyes, especially.

He once took Khun's kindness, his presence and gentleness for granted and where did it lead him to?

Two years apart, not knowing whether the Lightbearer would ever wake up and return to Bam's side again all because of Bam's stupid mistake.

The signs had always been there, the fact that Rachel wasn't anything good for Bam. She'd already pushed him twice to his death, what made Bam think that she won't do the same to his dear friends if she ever had the chance?

That was a mistake Bam wasn't willing to make ever again.

So these little moments, Bam would value them as his most precious intangible treasures.

Bam groans, sweat beading his forehead and damping his back, making his shirt stick to him, his arms flail from the nightmare of a beautiful blue color being dyed in crimson red.

Instinctively, his arms shot towards his side, to the place where a familiar warmth resides. A warmth that would chase away his nightmares and bring peaceful dreams instead.

Cold and empty.

At this realization, frantic golden eyes snapped open. The realization that there wasn't a certain Khun by his side terrified Bam far more than the gruesome pictures his nightmare painted in his head that he was jolted awake.

Alarmed, Bam immediately sat up straight and searched the room.

Rak was snoring away on the other bed but aside from him, there wasn't the blunette he was so used to sleeping next to.

"...Khun?" Bam called out in the darkness but no one answered.

Even as Bam could feel the panic rising within him, he forced himself to take deep breaths and calm down.

Everything's okay. Everyone's fine.

Khun should also be fine. Maybe he just went to the bathroom?

But there wasn't any light coming from the adjoining bathroom.

The brunette slowly stood up, careful not to disturb the other sleeping occupant in the room.

One by one, he opened the doors to the rooms(aside from the girls' room), trying his best not to wake them up but at the same time, to find the blunette as soon as possible.

When someone wakes up, he'd mumble a quick apology before closing the door and leaving once confirming that Khun wasn't there.

Maybe Bam was overreacting, immediately searching for someone who might have just left to go on a midnight bathroom break or take a walk in the middle of the night instead of just patiently waiting for the other to come back.

But he couldn't help it.

Especially when his most recent nightmare revolved around that person disappearing from Bam's side.

How could he not worry about that nightmare turning into a reality when Khun wasn't by his side when he woke up?

And so Bam went to the kitchen to get a cold drink, one that would hopefully cool his head down.

And there he saw it, a flash of blue in one of the windows just beside the backdoor, facing the backyard they were playing earlier at.

Bam could feel his heart that had been wilting earlier due to worry and panic, come alive again and repeatedly pound against his chest.

In a trance, Bam could only feel himself taking one step after another step towards the door, his eyes not leaving the figure in the window, afraid that if he so much as blink, Khun would be gone.

Silently opening the door, wishing with all his heart for Khun not to disappear the moment he opened it.

When the door opened, Bam could only fall silent and stare.

Khun's back was turned towards him and Bam could see how the wind gently tease those curls into a slow dance, how the moonlight washed the color off Khun's hair, turning it almost silver, the way that Khun sat on the grassy ground as his head tilted up to look at the fake yet beautiful night sky above, the way floating little lights - fireflies, some of them even landing on the blunette's hair - surrounded and bathed him in their light.

It was a picture almost too beautiful for words.

One that took Bam's breath away with its beauty yet also brought him uncontrollable dread.

Khun looked so ethereal , so otherworldly , that he didn't seem like he belonged in this place, next to Bam.

Just like fairies appearing to humans for a short while before leaving them behind.

The way the moon made Khun glow in its light made Bam feel as if he'd disappear any second and vanish out of existence.

Like a pretty little bubble that would eventually burst on its own.

And it made Bam feel afraid. So, so, so afraid.

Because once the bubble burst, it'll be gone forever and there's nothing Bam could do about it.

It was something that would never last in the first place, never meant to exist longer than just those short few seconds.

And Bam absolutely hated this feeling.

Bam thought he'd gotten stronger, getting three out of the four thorns and mastering them over the years, fighting Rankers despite still being a Regular... And yet it felt like if Khun was leaving, there was nothing he could do about it. That no matter how strong he was, he wouldn't be able to prevent the blunette from going.

Before Bam could stop himself, his voice already already broke the silence and the serenity of the scene.

"Where are you going, Khun?" At the sound of his voice, Khun visibly flinched, obviously not expecting Bam to be awake.

Bam had no idea why that was the question he asked. Instead of asking first, why Khun was awake and what he was doing alone in the middle of the night.

Bam caught a sight of the blunette's pocket before it disappeared as Khun turned towards him. Whatever Khun was doing with that pocket, he was so engrossed in it to not even notice Bam's presence.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bam." Khun’s eyes shimmered under the various lights around him as he smiled at Bam, that same soft smile he gives Bam and only Bam before replying and beckoning for Bam to sit next to him.

The smile seemed so true and honest, just like the ones in Bam's memories and yet why did Bam feel so unsettled seeing that smile up close?

"You're really not going anywhere?" Bam asked once more as he sat next to Khun, watching how those blue eyes reflected the moonlight and glowing fireflies around them.

"As if there's anywhere else I could go to." Khun chuckled, his voice light and mellow to Bam's ears.

There is. There's lots of places you could go to , Bam almost blurted out. And it was true. With Khun's abilities, there's nowhere he couldn't go to. He could join FUG, Wolhaiksong or even Jahad's Army and they would all gladly accept him.

"I'm staying here." Khun added, his eyes shut close, leaning his head onto Bam's shoulder. "Besides, I'll always be with you."

Bam couldn't describe just how much those words reassured him. He didn't think he'd ever be able to tell Khun about it either. Maybe in the future, he will.

But not now.

"I'd really like that." Bam leaned his head on top of the blue one, his words merely a mumble. "The two of us being together always."

"...yeah, that'll be really nice." Khun whispered before falling silent, reveling on this rare moment to be alone with Bam.

"Hey Khun? What were you doing with the pocket earlier?" Bam questioned after a while.

"...I'm preparing a little gift." Khun then stood up, stretching his arms above his head, not noticing how Bam's eyes drifted onto the skin that had been inadvertently exposed by the action, before offering a hand to Bam who readily accepted it.

"Well, I'm sure you'll see it once I'm done with it."

"It's a present for me?" Bam stared at Khun, his golden eyes wide and hopeful at the thought.

"Yeah. It's mostly for you but I also had to prepare a little something for the others, otherwise they'd complain about how biased I am." Khun muttered the latter half of his statement, making Bam laugh.

"Let's go back in?" Khun asked with a smile, his eyes glittering like sapphires and Bam could only nod as the blunette led him inside.

Khun then suddenly stopped and raised a finger to his lips. "Don't tell the others about our little meeting tonight, okay? Not a single word."

"Why?" Bam asked in confusion. Khun was preparing them presents so why should he not tell them about it?

"It won't be much of a surprise if they knew." Khun answered before lightly flicking Bam's nose. "You accidentally found me out so I have no choice but to tell you since I don't want to lie to you."

"Oh, okay." Bam grinned as he looped their arms together as they continued on their way.

That night, Bam shamelessly clung onto the Lightbearer as they lay in bed and fell asleep, his dreams full of sunshine, blue skies, warm smiles and gentle hugs.

"Where's everybody?" Bam asked, bringing a plate of fruits as breakfast in their room. Lately, Khun had preferred to stay in their room and just lay in bed all day long.

And it's leaving a weird tingly feeling on Bam's chest whenever he sees it.

Especially the way the blunette's eyes brighten up when seeing him, giving the impression that he'd been waiting for him and for Bam to come to his side.

"It's almost the end of our one-month break so they decided to go out and restock the supplies." Khun answered, his hands already reaching out to the plate in Bam's hands. "Knowing them, they'd most likely be out for the whole day."

"I offered to housesit alone but then Hwaryun said to leave you behind with me. They didn't tell you?" Khun asked, one hand popping a bunny apple into his mouth.

"No?" Bam sat next to Khun, watching the other eat. "If it's housesitting duty, I think Laure would also volunteer to stay, but he's also not here. And Rak, too."

Khun shrugged. "Laure most likely got bribed or threatened. Gator wanted to stay but he got dragged away. You should have heard his protests earlier."

Speaking of Rak's protests, Bam did hear him yelling about how 'hunters shouldn't leave their sick prey behind'. But Bam wasn't sick at all so what was that all about?

"Why? You don't like the idea of being alone with me?" Khun questioned, his lips tilted in a teasing smile yet his eyes were looking straight at Bam's eyes.

"Oh no! No, no, no, no!" Bam immediately denied, waving his hands around before it settled at the back of his head. "I'm just surprised."

Khun dramatically placed a hand on his chest and sighed. "I'm so happy to hear that. You have no idea how hurt I'd be if you said otherwise."

And then Khun smiled, all soft and sweet, like there's no place in the world he'd rather be than here at Bam's side.

"Hey Bam? Do you think I can have the rest of your time until they come back today?"

Bam stared, frozen still by the request for a second, before smiling even brighter than the fake shinsu sun.

"Of course you can, Khun!" It was just a simple request compared to the almost impossible ones that Bam would sometimes ask from the Lightbearer. How could Bam even deny him of this small thing?

A smile mirroring his own appeared on Khun's face and the blunette didn't waste a second to lay his head on Bam's lap. Bam's hands immediately tangle itself to Khun's hair, fingers curling on the strands. 

"Hey Bam?" Khun smilingly looked up at him from his position, blue eyes glossy and filled with fondness. "Back when we first met, on the Floor of Tests... Do you remember?"

"Of course I do. You stopped me from attacking a Da-an and saved me from Rak back then." Bam replied, staring back as he reminisced on the memory. "Your hair was much shorter then with your blue bandana clipped to it somehow."

Khun hummed before speaking of a truth that they both ignored. "Then you do realize that I wanted to use you back then, right?"

"No, you didn't." Bam chuckled. "When we first met, you genuinely tried to help me. It was only when you realized I had the Black March that the idea," Bam gave a light poke in Khun's forehead, "popped inside that blue head of yours."

"In retrospect, the idea most likely didn't even last long before we genuinely became friends." Bam added, running his fingers on Khun's hair. "A few hours, at most."

The blunette pouted, before sighing in defeat. "I still tried to use you, you know?"

"But you didn't." The Wave Controller refuted before a sad smile appeared on his face. "If there's anyone using the other between the two of us... Then that would be me if you consider all the trouble I brought you."

"No, you didn't." Khun repeated the same words Bam just spoke seconds ago. "It was my choice to follow you."

"Then how about this? We're both not using each other and we’re just helping one another."

"...I'd say we're both using each other but that sounds better so you win." Khun muttered after a while, turning to his side, his face away from Bam's body.

Bam didn't like how Khun's body was turned away from him so he held the other's shoulders and turned him onto his back. That way, Bam could clearly see every expression on Khun's face.

They just stared at each other's faces before soft smiles graced their lips.

And as if they had planned it beforehand, they chatted about the events in the Floor of Tests, their honest thoughts of those times and then taking turns, spoke of the time the two of them were apart, how'd they'd fared and tried to cope up with each other's lost presence...

The words and stories flow easily from their lips as they shared how the events back then seemed in their perspective, how it was stored in their memories.

It was supposed to be just a normal conversation about their past - shared or otherwise, a reminiscence of days long gone, when things had been simpler, when recklessness resulted only with a scratch on one's knees, and happiness was just around them, lingering at their fingertips and within their reach...

There was a pleasantly intimate atmosphere around the two of them and yet why?

Why did Bam feel like his happiness would be wretched away from him the very moment he left his guard down?

Bam could feel that something important was slipping away, there was a voice in his head shouting for him to open his eyes and realize what it was before it's too late, that once it's too late, it'd be impossible for him to hold on to...

And that he's losing that special something right this very moment.

Khun's right next to him smiling, safe and sound so he shouldn't be in any danger at all. Their other friends just went out to restock supplies - something they've always done and never had any problems with - and they're not getting any emergency calls in their pockets so everyone they know should be safe as well.

So what exactly was it that Bam felt like he's losing?

As if sensing his unease, Khun reached out and caressed his face.

"Is there something wrong, Bam?" The Lightbearer asked, worry etched in his features and Bam wanted to say 'yes, there's something wrong but I don't know what' but he shook his head instead and gave the other a reassuring smile instead.

"No, everything's alright." As the little white lie left his lips, it left him feeling horribly guilty as he lied to his most precious person - even if it was a harmless one - and the alarm bells inside his head went ringing as if desiring to break his mind instead.

"Oh, okay." Khun responded, brushing his thumb against Bam's cheek, his touch a tad too gentle as if he was afraid he'll break Bam into pieces.

Bam instinctively closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation while it lasted, opening only when the blunette moved his hand away.

Khun was smiling, cobalt blue eyes staring intensely at Bam as if he wanted to burn Bam's image in his memory, like he's the last thing Khun wanted to ever see.

And Bam's heart pounded, it wasn't his imagination.

There is something wrong.

It's Khun. 

There's something wrong with Khun.

Bam grabbed onto the hand that was just touching his face, pressing the wrist back to his cheek, subtly feeling for the other's pulse.

Khun gave him a questioning glance but still allowed Bam to do as he pleased.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

It's beating. There's a faint yet rhythmic pulsing against Bam's cheek, proving Khun was alive and breathing and with him.

But why was it that Bam feels like he's losing Khun?

Before he could ask if Khun was feeling alright and if there's something wrong with him, Khun had reached out his other hand to Bam's face as well, cradling the brunette's head as he slowly pulled it down to his level.

And then there was a soft touch to Bam's forehead before Khun pushed the other's face away from his.

Bam could see how Khun bit his lower lip, his eyes not meeting his while a pale rosy color bloomed on Khun's face.

When Khun finally directed his gaze at him, there was determination on those eyes, extremely similar to the look that Khun gave him three years ago.

It was a look that he always showed when he had decided on something extremely important, one that needed conviction for him to accomplish.

"Bam, can I ask you for a favor?"  The ominous feeling in the brunette's gut sank even deeper and Bam couldn't find his voice to answer.

That's the second time today. The second time that Khun asked him for a request today.

Usually, Khun won't even ask for anything from Bam on a single day. If Bam ever did something for Khun, it'd be on Bam's initiative like asking if the blunette wanted some snacks, and if Khun said yes, then Bam would bring him some. Requests made when Khun was half-asleep and out of his mind doesn't count.

Or even if he did make a request,  it would always be subtle and Khun would have it phrased in such a way that Bam would still have the final decision on it. For example, Khun would go 'I'd like some...'

For today, Khun had outright asked Bam for something, twice.

Normally, Bam would feel delighted upon realizing this, as that meant that he could help relieve some burden on the Lightbearer's shoulders, even if it was just on the small mundane things.

But something's telling him that this was a bad sign.

An extremely bad sign.

Even as Bam realized this, he couldn't bring himself to deny the Khun's request - even if he didn't know what it was - as something was also telling him that Bam would regret it if he did, so he could only nod as a response.

And that seemed to be enough of an answer to Khun.

"...can you hold me?" Khun asked in a small voice. "But well, if you don't want to, that's oka-"

Bam had already shifted and comfortably leaned his back on the headboard, his arms already wide open as he stared at Khun, a silent invitation for him to take his place within Bam's arms.

For a moment, Khun looked stunned before his lips formed a rather embarrassed smile, as if he wasn't the one who requested to be held just seconds earlier.

And then he slowly scooted towards Bam and sat in between Bam's legs, leaning against Bam, his back touching Bam's front.

Gingerly, Khun placed his head on Bam's chest, ear perched right on top of the brunette's heart.

In reciprocation, Bam wrapped his arms around the blunette's midsection, holding him gently and he could hear how Khun sighed in satisfaction.

"Bam?" Khun softly called out again, and Bam had to look down to see blue eyes peering from beneath long and thick silvery blue lashes.

"Y-yeah?" Bam finally found his voice again, however it cracked a little.

"If you ever found out that I lied to you or I broke a promise with you..." There was a small pause and a sound similar to a choked sob. "Will you be mad at me?"

Somehow, seeing Khun like this, so vulnerable and fragile... Bam could feel a part of himself breaking.

Khun shouldn't be like this. His voice shouldn't be so full of uncertainty - uncertainty that Khun didn't even seem to notice spilling into his words - and his shoulders shouldn't be shaking oh-so-slightly, a telltale sign of a repressed reaction. He shouldn't be meekly asking for hugs when he could always have it anytime he wanted.

Khun's voice should be filled with pride and confidence - or arrogance as their friends would say - and his shoulders should be steady, like an unmoving pillar that Bam could always lean on at anytime, even when he's at his weakest.

If Khun wanted a hug, he should just straightforwardly take Bam into his arms just like that time when they were battling at the Nest and Bam would take the hint, and hold him back just as strongly and let Khun stay in his embrace for as long as he wanted.

So why wasn't he doing that instead?

It's as if Khun knew exactly what was coming, the one that was causing Bam to feel despair deep within.

"...you know I can't get mad at you, Khun." Bam spoke, already feeling his eyes moist over and it took all Bam had to make sure that his voice sounded as steady as he could possibly make it sound like. "At most, I'd be sad. But never mad."

Yes, just like that time on the Hell Train when Bam found out that Khun tried to kill Rachel. It wasn't anger he felt towards Khun. Rather, it was sorrow, knowing that Khun ended up trying to do that because of the things Rachel did and even when Bam knew that, he couldn't let her go. If Bam ever felt anger, it was anger towards himself as he couldn't put his act together and his friend had to take it upon himself to dirty his hands for Bam's sake.

Bam could hear a light wry laugh come from the blunette.

"Right... Of course, Bam... You're the type to be more sad than actually be mad." Bam could hear him murmur under his breath. "Well, I suppose that's a good thing."

Then there was silence between the two of them, only the sound of their quiet breathing and of hearts beating way too loud - or maybe that's just Bam - filling the room.

"Do you think you can cook me your specialty Cream Spaghetti for dinner later?" Khun asked a while later, rubbing his cheek on Bam's chest.

"Anything you want, Khun." Came Bam's reply, quick and automatic as if there's no need to even think about what Khun's request was and Bam would always say 'yes' anyway.

Just like Khun could never say no to any of Bam's requests, Bam would always say yes to Khun's rare requests.

There's nothing Bam could do anyway but say yes.

Bam wasn't an idiot. Maybe he used to be one, but not anymore.

If Khun knew what's going on, and he's not asking Bam for help even now... Then that only means that there's absolutely nothing that Bam can do even if the blunette told him.

Nothing.

Bam's grip on the other tightened and then he choked out a sentence. "I'll make you some Cream Spaghetti later, Khun. But for now... Can we stay like this?"

He could clearly feel how the other stilled in his arms and fall silent for a few seconds - who knows how many that makes it in a single day, it's a record for sure, as the blunette always have something to say, be it kind words to Bam or a snarky comment to others - and that's when Bam knew that the other realized that he knows .

Khun wanted Bam to leave him alone in the room. But if Bam left now...

Bam could hear Khun take a sharp inhale before letting out a quiet "okay", and then the blunette's body relaxed in his arms.

And Bam could only hold him even tighter, bury his face on those soft blue locks, forcing himself to remember Khun's warmth, the way he felt against Bam, the way his hair and skin smelled, because he's sure that after this, he will most likely not have the chance to do so anymore.

That this is the last time he can do this.

Because Khun is dying.

Khun was dying in his arms, and there's nothing he could do about it.

Bam's terrified. He can't even say he's afraid as that word can't even convey the depth of what he's feeling right now.

It felt like he's back in one of his nightmares again but this time, even if he wanted to wake up to escape from it, there's nowhere for Bam to escape to. Because this was happening in reality. Not in a horrible dream that his mind made up but his cruel reality that he's living in.

And Khun wasn't even trying to explain himself, not bothering to reassure him that everything's alright like he always did.

And that spoke volumes.

Because it wasn't fine , it wasn't alright and Khun knew that.

There's no point lying about it, Bam would eventually know in the cruelest way possible.

So the only thing they could do now was to share his last moments together.

Eventually, Bam couldn't take it and asked. "...you're not going to tell me why?"

Khun slowly turned his around to face Bam, and now Bam could see the tears silently falling from those blue eyes, like a flowing river with no end. But Khun didn't allow Bam to see his broken expression longer than a second as he wrapped his arms around the brunette's neck, burrowing his face on Bam's shoulder.

Bam could feel how tightly Khun gripped his shirt and Bam pulled him even closer.

Even as he's dying, Khun won't even cry out loud.

"You'll know." Khun whispered. "Later."

And now, even Bam couldn't hold his tears anymore as they fell onto his cheeks.

He wanted to ask what the other meant by 'later'? How could there be a 'later' if Khun's gone by then?

Bam didn't want an explanation from someone else, he wanted it to come from Khun himself.

But he couldn't bring himself to demand answers from the Lightbearer as he knew that would break Khun more than it would break Bam.

"...I'm sorry." He could hear Khun repeatedly mumble against his shirt.

And they just sat there in the bed, silently crying as they held each other as tightly as they could because they both knew it wouldn't last.

Their time was short and ticking the seconds away.

So they try to hold onto each other, for as long as they could.

Bam had no idea how much time passed before Khun spoke again.

This time, his voice was so much quieter than before.

"You know... I really didn't want you to see me like this."

Bam stayed silent, focusing on each word the Khun was saying because it might be the last time he'd hear Khun's voice.

"I wanted your last memory of me to be a happy one."

At this, Bam couldn't stop a sob from escaping his lips.

Why...? Even at this time, you're still thinking about me?

"Hwaryun really should have brought you with them."

Why? So you could die alone without anyone noticing until your body's gone cold?

"I don't want to see you cry because of me." Khun slowly pulled away, and Bam hated how easily he noticed that Khun's grip on him was getting weaker.

Even with tears running down his cheeks, his eyes getting puffy and swollen and his face red from crying, Khun was beautiful as he smiled at Bam.

It was a forced and shaky smile, one filled with myriads of emotions in it.

"So Bam..." Khun caressed Bam's face, trying to wipe away his tears and his next words thoroughly broke Bam's heart.

It was the simplest yet cruelest request Khun had ever requested from him.

"Smile for me."

At those words, Bam finally wailed, crying his heart out, his figure hunched over Khun's as he held the blunette's body.

He'd been trying to be strong, trying not to cry, even Khun wasn't crying out loud, only shedding silent tears, so how could Bam cry when he wasn't even the one dying?

Instead of him comforting Khun, it was Khun who was comforting him, one of the blunette's hands was patting his back, the other running through his hair.

And it just made Bam cry even more.

How could he not cry? Khun was dying right in front of his eyes and he didn't even know why!

His most precious person was dying.

Earlier, the only reason he didn't cry right away was because there was a part of him still in denial, still wishing - still hoping - that this was just some big joke. A prank that Khun and his friends were pulling on him to see how he'd react if one of them dies.

But Khun's pleading voice as he told Bam to smile finally drove home the fact that he's dying and Bam's final hopes shattered and desperation sank in.

"Don't leave me... Khun..." And before he knew it, Bam was already begging for Khun to stay.

"Bam." Khun's hands transferred to his shoulders, trying to calm him down, but with his dwindling strength, his presses on Bam's shoulders did almost nothing.

"Hwaryun - Let's call Hwaryun, maybe she knows something... Maybe she could help -" At the back of his mind, Bam knew that he's grasping at straws, that it was futile, because if the red-haired Guide knew something, she would have already said so. Bam knew that but he still continued rambling.

Bam knew he looked crazy and miserable, he could see his own wretched expression reflected on those sapphire blue eyes. Those same eyes that didn't shy away from his actions and watched him, full focus on him alone.

"Bam." Khun called out to him again, waiting for him to calm down, as patient as always when it came to Bam.

So patient that even when he didn't have a lot of time left, he didn't rush Bam at all to grant his - most likely - final request.

And Bam hung his head low, his hands leaving Khun's body and covered his face instead, a few more whimpers coming out from his throat.

He tried to wipe away the tears, but every time he does, more just follows.

Khun wanted him to smile .

Khun wanted Bam to smile for him.

So Bam should give him the brightest smile he could give.

But how could he do that when these stupid tears weren't stopping?!

Bam took a long deep breath before lifting his head up to face Khun.

And he smiled.

Bam smiled as big as he could, his eyes brimming with tears and wetting his cheeks. His lips twitched as he tried to maintain the shaky smile on his face, tasting salty tears.

He knew it was the worst smile he ever made it in his life, as wretched and unsightly as a smile could possibly be.

But it was the best smile he could give the other, given the situation.

At his smile, he could see how more tears pooled on Khun's eyes before falling unbidden like rain on his cheeks and Khun returned it with a shaky smile of his own.

A weak laugh left those lips and Bam found himself being held again by the blunette, Khun's arms around his neck.

"Thank you." Khun whispered and Bam embraced him back, his arms around the other's waist, shifting the other's body so that Khun would have a more comfortable position.

No more words were spoken between the two of them, just silence and relishing each other's presence.

Bam kept his ears perked up, listening to Khun's breathing, to Khun's heart beating...

And when he found it gradually slowing down, he held Khun's body tighter, hoping that it was just his imagination.

His lips cracked and bled from how many times Bam had to bite down on his lips to stop himself from sobbing.

Because Khun wanted him to smile and not to cry.

He wanted to see Khun's face, but he knew that the other wanted a smiling image - even if it was crying - of Bam as his last memory. That's why after Bam smiled at him, Khun immediately embraced Bam and hid his face on Bam's neck.

Because they both knew that Bam wouldn't be able to keep that smile up for long.

"...I'm glad..." Bam could hear the other faintly whisper and he could feel the other's lips form a smile against his skin.

Bam looked up, forcing the tears not to fall but hopelessly failing because the next words would definitely be Khun's final ones.

"...so glad that I... met you..."

Like a clock that ticked its final second, an hourglass that dropped its final sand, a candle that burned its wick away...

The arms holding onto Bam's body fell limp and...

...Khun breathed his last.

The anguished cries, the pained sobs and sorrowful weeping that Bam held back earlier now flooded out of his mouth as a mournful howl tore apart the peace their surroundings had.

Bam had no idea how long he cried, he didn't notice when the fake shinsu sun had reached its zenith and started to lower itself in the artificial sky. He didn't notice the hunger his own body felt, only sensing how cold the body he held felt against his own.

He kept calling out Khun's name, hoping for a miracle, hoping for the other to somehow wake up and come back to life.

Bam himself had died and resurrected before... so why can't Khun...?

Didn't they call him a god? Then why can't he bring Khun back to life? Why can't he keep his most cherished person alive?

Just how good of a god can he be if he can't even keep those he treasures with him?

Bam hated being called a god and being worshipped as one.

But now, more than ever, Bam sincerely wished he was really a god.

A powerful god that could bring Khun Aguero Agnis back.

A small orange spark.

At first, Bam ignored it. At the moment, he honestly didn't care if the whole Tower burned. He had just lost his Lightbearer - the one that led him out to a bright world when he'd been trapped in darkness - and nothing really mattered much to him right now.

But then Bam realized the spark was too close to Khun's cold body that he was holding.

It might catch fire.

The Tower could burn but Khun shouldn't.

Bam's grief-filled mind could only process things in slow, broken thoughts.

It was almost similar to his time back in the cave, when he didn't know how to speak or properly think.

But that's fine, Bam didn't want to think about anything right now.

Khun used to do all the thinking for Bam before so Bam didn't need to think a lot and he got so used to leaving all the thinking to Khun and Bam just needed to do his part in those plans and now that Khun was gone, Bam didn't really want to think anymore.

So to the offending spark near Khun's body, Bam tried to swat it away.

Go burn something else, Bam thought. But not Khun.

As if alive, the orange spark shot towards him, surrounding his body as it turned into an image of a flaming fish before it disappeared into his body.

Scattered memories related to the creature wormed its way out from the back of Bam's mind.

...the Firefish...?

Like a dose of cold water had been splashed on Bam's head, a faint light came back to those dull eyes that used to be bright and golden.

Slowly, he straightened his posture but he still didn't let go of Khun's body, carefully cradling it against his chest.

Khun had the Firefish and it had always saved the blunette before, always helped heal Bam and their other friends... Even strengthening them...

. ..so why did it fail Khun now...?

Of all times, why now?

"...why?"

As if answering to his question, the Firefish materialized itself once more in front of Bam.

Unlike the times before where he'd see the Firefish come out of Khun's body, it came out from his own instead.

I can't heal him. I don't have enough power to do so. The Firefish responded and it took Bam a second to realize that the other creature was speaking directly to his mind.

"Why...?" Like a broken tape, the question left Bam's lips once more.

Because the problem is with his soul, not his body. My powers alone only allow me to heal physical wounds, not those related to a person's soul.

Bam's brain muddled by grief took seconds or even minutes to process the answers he received.

"A problem with Khun's soul... Why?" Why did Khun have a problem with his soul? What's wrong with his soul?

The Firefish went silent for a few seconds before and Bam could swear he heard an audible sigh come from the entity.

...It's gone. Devoured.

The way the Firefish's eyes stared at him unflinchingly and how it didn't elaborate further on how Khun's soul disappeared made Bam's body go cold at the word, an unsettling guess in his mind, churning his insides.

Among my countless masters, this child is not the strongest, nor is he the kindest... Smart and crafty, maybe... But he still pales compared to the ones that wielded my powers before... However...

Whatever the Firefish would say next, Bam knew he wouldn't like it. That whatever those words may be, it'll drag Bam down even deeper to the abyss of despair, one that he'd never be able to come out from.

But Bam couldn't bring himself to stop the Firefish. Because this was the same creature that accompanied Khun for years and if there's anyone who knew what happened to Khun, in a place where no one else had seen, it would be this very Firefish.

This child is the most devoted I've ever seen. I've never seen someone do so much for another without expecting any kind of reciprocation in return.

So devoted that he was willing to even give up his own life for another.

To use up his own soul to heal yours.

If Bam thought that he'd already used up all of his tears for his entire lifetime earlier, then he was wrong.

Fresh tears poured down from his eyes - his eyes that were still stinging from his earlier weeping - and his throat already raw and hoarse from all his cries emitted more sobs.

His final wish was for me to protect you and...

The Firefish disappeared into Bam's body again, it's next words ringing on Bam's head.

...for you to live on and be happy.

Memories of Khun flitted through in Bam’s mind, smiles, frowns and everything in between, laughter and mocking voices… All of them showed up in flashes, fragmented and fuzzy and full of holes and telltale signs of Khun’s worsening condition over the years…

It had been obvious, so, so, so painfully obvious.

Khun gradually moving out from the forefront of battles to assist Bam to sticking to the traditional rear guard roles of Lightbearers. Khun speaking less and less in meetings to allow Shibisu and the others to come up with their plans for the team, and only interjecting when there are problematic parts in the plans, unlike before when he would be taking charge on strategizing right from the start. Khun spending more and more time alone in meeting rooms instead of hanging around them. Khun avoiding physical activities and even rejecting Bam’s occasional requests for spars...

How did Bam miss all those signs?

And dismissed them just because Khun said he was alright...?

He said he won’t take everyone - especially Khun - for granted, but apparently, he still did and now Khun was gone for good.

This time, Khun won’t ever come back.

...how cruel, Khun. Wanting me to live on and be happy when you're gone.

A static buzzing sound broke through the silence followed by a voice.

"Hello?" It was low, silky and magnetic - one that Bam was extremely familiar with. One that he thought he'd no longer hear.

Bam's head snapped to the direction of the sound with widened eyes.

Hovering in front of him were two pockets. One of them Bam could easily recognize as his own and the other - while familiar - didn't belong to him.

On his pocket showed Khun's name while the other pocket showed his.

It was Khun's pocket.

The two pockets were connected on a call.

"Hey, Bam." Khun's voice in Bam's pocket continued. "How are you?"

There was a few seconds of silence afterwards as if the Khun in the line had been expecting an answer.

"...miserable... extremely miserable." Bam answered, despite the pain that he felt on his throat.

"...I'm sure that by the time you got this call, it's been a few hours since my death." A slight pause. "And that you have most likely already found my body."

There was a sharp intake of air in the line before Khun's voice sounded out again. "...so you're probably upset and are not in the best of moods."

Upset.. to laugh at Khun's choice of words. Bam's more than just upset. He felt terrible, even worse than the time when he'd been trapped as FUG's Slayer Candidate. As if there were hands pulling him to sink deep into darkness with not a single ray of light, and Bam didn't even want to break free, allowing himself to be pulled even deeper to its unfathomable depths.

Bam already realized this earlier, when Khun had mentioned that Hwaryun should have taken Bam with them when they went out... That Khun was aware that today's the day that he will leave the living... And that Khun planned to die here alone while the rest of them were out.

Otherwise, why would there be a voice recording set to Bam's pocket as a scheduled call?

"You're probably wondering why... things ended up like this. A-and..." There was an unmistakable crack in Khun's voice. "...that you deserve an explanation."

Khun's voice was unbelievably shaky as he continued. "An explanation better said face to face but... I don't think I can give one to you without breaking down."

The honest admission to his vulnerability brought a pang of pain on Bam's heart as Khun was too proud to admit any weakness, not even to his friends.

For him to do so, Khun was certainly more affected than he tried to show. Bam couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for Khun, to pretend that nothing's wrong so their friends won't worry at all. And truth be told, Khun had perfectly acted the part that even Bam who'd been with him the most didn't notice.

"If you want an explanation, then you can continue listening to this recording. Although it might hurt you more than not knowing why... And that you might regret it, Bam."

There wasn't even any other option to take for Bam. Bam knew he wanted to know what happened even if it might hurt him. Khun's already dead and based on the Firefish's words, Khun's death had something to do with Bam. 

What more could hurt him?

"If you would rather not have an explanation, you can end this call and the recording will be destroyed..." That just gave Bam even more reason not to end the call. Whatever this recording contained, at least Bam could hear Khun's voice again... Even if it was Khun condemning him or hating him...

There was a few seconds of silence as if Khun was waiting for him to make his mind.

Then there was a sigh heard over the pocket, and Bam could imagine how Khun would have ran a hand on his silvery blue hair in exasperation.

"If all the years I knew you didn't amount to nothing, if I knew you as well as I think I do... Then you should still be listening to this recording, aren't you? Bam."

There was fondness in the way that Khun called Bam's name and hearing that familiar voice say his name - even if it was just from a recording - made a miniscule smile appear on Bam's face. It made Bam feel warm despite the coldness of Khun's body in his arms.

"...yeah, you really do know me the best, Khun." Bam murmured, nuzzling his face on the crown of Khun's head.

Despite losing its warmth, Khun's body wasn't as stiff as a corpse normally would be as Bam had subconsciously covered it with shinsu to preserve its state.

Bam knew that it was futile, that no matter how Bam tried to preserve his body, the soul occupying it was gone. But that didn't stop him from doing so.

"Do you remember the question I asked you three years ago? About how fast you would like to climb the Tower?" Just like earlier, when Khun was asking a question, he would pause a little before continuing as if they were in an actual conversation.

And Bam felt like it was one and he could almost pretend it was the case if he just closed his eyes.

Except that the cold body in his arms told him it wasn't.

Bam nodded, even if the other could no longer see his actions and replied. "...I was even thinking about it... Just when we just arrived on this Floor." 

"I'm pretty sure you remember it... But just in case you forgot, you told me that you wanted to climb the Tower as fast as possible. And I promised you that I would bring you to the top in the quickest way possible."

Bam listened at the words, one of his hands brushing a stray lock of hair out of Khun's face.

Despite the tear stains on his cheeks, Khun looked peaceful in his death, as if he was just sleeping. Just like that time he went into comatose for two years.

"...then do you remember your last fight with Kallavan and how you got injured?" There was hesitation in the Khun's voice. 

The question made Bam pause, his hands stilling on the blunette's hair, his gaze turning to the pockets hovering in front of him.

The last time that Bam fought with Kallavan... was also three years ago.

He remembered fighting Kallavan, how overwhelming the High Ranker was compared to all the opponents Bam had faced so far... He remembered exchanging blows with the other, of how he forced the shinsu surrounding them to obey his will, to overcome the other with his gift, but when Bam tried to jog his memory on how the battle ended...

...there was nothing.

The next memory Bam had was after the fight.

Everyone had cheered about their victory and congratulated Bam for it, a victory that Bam did not remember bringing. But they all told him that he defeated Kallavan in that battle and forced the blonde High Ranker to detonate the Essence of Bravery in a last-ditch effort to bring Bam down with him.

In that explosion that he'd been caught up with, Bam miraculously survived as Khun dragged his unconscious form into their base and he'd been in a coma for several days. However, due to the shock of the explosion, his most recent memories at the time - it being the fight - might have been affected so Bam wouldn't be able to remember it right away.

Things had been chaotic then and so Bam did not have the time to look back and think too deeply with regards to his missing memory. What mattered to him at the time, was the fact that they had to survive and escape from Jahad's troops.

Bam didn't have the luxury of time to wonder about the events of that battle and just accepted the information given to him by his friends.

No one questioned how the battle itself went, so until Khun had asked this question, Bam never realized that his supposed temporary memory loss was in fact, not temporary.

Bam didn't have any memory with regards to the explosion.

Even now as he tried, there's nothing that comes to mind.

It was an absolute blank.

"...when the explosion happened, both you and Kallavan fell from the sky and I was able to catch your body before it reached the ground."

There was a faint ringing in Bam's ears, as fragmented flashes of memories flitted through his mind. It was out of order, not in sequence, and a dull ache pervaded Bam's head. It hurt, but it was better than the nothingness he previously experienced when trying to remember.

As if the key to Bam's lost memories had always been in Khun's hands, the memories locked deep within were now resurfacing as the Lightbearer told the tale of the events of that day.

"...you were unconscious, Bam. And no matter how much I used the Firefish on you, it only healed your physical wounds but..."

The dull ache grew with each word that he heard until it threatened to split Bam's head into two.

"...you won't wake up."

A choked sob could be heard from the recording. One filled with fear as if the events of that day were unfolding in front of Khun again, instead of a distant memory far from them.

"When I asked the Firefish why..." At this point of the recording, it was evident that Khun was unable to hold back his tears as muffled sounds could be heard.

"...it told me that the explosion wasn't aimed for your physical body. The explosion was meant to destroy your soul."

So the reason why Kallavan died in that battle... wasn't because Bam killed him. His soul disintegrated in that explosion.

"...you were dying, Bam." The words were forced out of the blunette's throat and it was evident how difficult for Khun to voice it out.

With a click, the final puzzle piece slotted into its place and completed the picture. Bam's hazy memory of that day cleared and the fog obstructing him from seeing the events that transpired on that day disappeared.

Bam could remember how his body ached and burned despite having his body reinforced with shinsu after receiving blows from the High Ranker. How Bam returned the hits with equal fervor but even his punches hurt himself in the process as well. He could remember the pain of how his body was repeatedly ruined and reconstructed with shinsu just so he could continue to fight... And how when both of them were bloody and bruised, a crazy glint appeared in the blonde High Ranker's eyes.

Bam could remember how Kallavan had grabbed onto his arm and did not let go even as Bam bombarded him with shinsu attacks at point blank.

How the Essence of Bravery owned by the High Ranker lit up and covered the two of them with its blinding light.

And how Bam - despite his body being at its limit - pushed himself to materialize the Black March to forcefully cut off the other's arm and ignited the second thorn fragment to teleport out of the way.

But even then, Bam did not escape unscathed. His body was in pain, but that's nothing he wasn't used to... It was the indescribable pain within him that tore at his very being.

And just like that, he fell from the sky like a shooting star.

As his vision dimmed, Bam could see a familiar blue lighthouse rushing towards him across the battlefield, its owner dangerously carried on top of it despite lighthouses not being designed to be transportation vehicles, a panic-stricken voice shouting his name as he felt a warm embrace enveloping his body.

And then sweet oblivion came and eased his pain.

The next thing Bam remembered was how a burning sensation licked his skin before something cold entered his mouth and circulated within his body. The cold felt extremely pleasant, making the heat go away and numb the pain he felt.

Just like a man stranded in a desert for a long time, thirsty and desperate for water, and came across an oasis... Bam greedily took in that sweet coldness in his mouth.

Bam now remembered it all.

"The Firefish's powers alone couldn't heal a soul so I thought... Since it's a soul that was damaged..."

No... A terrible thought came into Bam's mind.

"...What if there's another available soul? ...Can it be used as material by the Firefish to heal you?" A wry laugh. "...I guess you could already guess what happened."

Why would you even do that...? The thought had only crossed Bam's mind and not left his lips but apparently, Khun was not only an excellent Lightbearer and Strategist, but a mind-reader too.

Or maybe, it was just Bam that Khun could understand so well that he'd know exactly what Bam would think and ask.

"...when I saw you dying in front of me... It felt like my whole world was crumbling right at that moment. I couldn't not do anything."

And Bam's heart, already broken, broke even more. The pieces of his heart shattered into microscopic particles that there's no way to bring it back whole.

"...you dying was the same as my world ending, Bam. If you die, then I'd lose any reason to live on... So I thought, since that was the case... If my soul could heal you, then so be it. I'd gladly exchange my soul for my world to live on. Even if it’s just for a little more..."

It was his fault that Khun died... If Bam had been stronger, if Bam hadn't been so reckless, if Bam didn't get himself in that situation... Khun wouldn't have-

"...Bam, if you're blaming yourself, please stop. It's not your fault. It never was." Khun's voice was so gentle and soothing and if he was still alive, Bam could picture him bringing him close for a hug, rubbing circles on his back, and holding him until he calmed down.

But Khun couldn't do that anymore.

"It was my choice, no one forced me to make that choice. I knew exactly what I'm getting myself into and I still made the choice. If I was ever given the chance to go back to the past in that exact point in time... I know that I'll do it all over again."

Bam wouldn't get to experience that comforting gesture from Khun ever again.

"A world without you... Isn't worth living to me, Bam."

But what about me, Khun? Bam wanted to ask. How am I supposed to live in a world without you?

“And so… I’d rather die… If it meant you could live.”

Click.

With those words, the recording ended.

Several pockets beeped in unison, startling their respective owners as a voice message from the same person arrived.

Shibisu who had been tasked with keeping watch over Rak during their shopping could feel his eyebrows knit together in confusion when he saw the sender's ID.

Khun My Love.

Rak's pocket had also beeped and a familiar nickname showed up in it:

Blue Turtle.

Before Shibisu could even play the received voice message, Rak who'd been extremely agitated and  unreasonable since earlier and kept demanding to go home had already set his own message to play.

A familiar cocky voice filled their area.

"Hey Rak," two pairs of eyes widened at the name spoken and anxiety slowly creeped in. "This is Khun."

Khun never called Rak as 'Rak'.

The next sentence heard made Shibisu's heart plummet and the glass roses he was holding - souvenir products of the 100th Floor - that he bought to commemorate their achievement fell to the ground and shattered into sharp uneven pieces, some even cutting through Shibisu's leg but he couldn't feel it at all.

"Once you got this message, it means I've already been dead for a couple of hours now."

Shibisu did not hear how the glass shattered, only how that single sentence repeated itself on his head and Rak's wailing sounds beside him.

Khun... was dead...?

"NO! BLUE TURTLE, DON'T LIE TO YOUR LEADER! I'M COMING BACK RIGHT NOW AND DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR SHELL, YOU STUPID BLUE TURTLE!" Rak yelled, his words filled with denial and yet transparent tears were already forming in his eyes - tears that he hadn't shed in a long while.

"You stupid Gator, this is a voice recording. Even if you reply or say something, I wouldn't hear it." There was a helpless chuckle.

"If this is a prank, I'll eat you alive, you useless Blue Turtle!" Rak growled and he tore through the shinsu-enhanced restraints their team had put on the crocodilian creature to keep him in place.

"I left a little something for you... It's in the lowest drawer of the night stand between the beds..."

Shibisu couldn't hear anything else from Rak's pocket as Rak had already decompressed himself and stormed towards the direction of their lodging.

Shibisu would have preferred a little silence.

Some time for himself to digest the news that he had just received, analyze it and ascertain which were facts and which were fallacies in the statements uttered.

It wasn't like Khun to joke around like that and send others into panic just for some manic fun. Yet there was no other reason that Shibisu could think of for Khun to say such a thing.

"Hey, Isu. This is Khun." Shibisu's pocket that had been forgotten made its presence known once more by automatically playing the voice message it received.

"If you're hearing this message... I would be dead for a couple of hours now."

And repeated the same message Shibisu had heard, further cementing the fact that - no - this is not some sick prank Khun thought up.

"Considering how you're one of the more responsible ones in our team... I have quite a lot of things to say as you'd be taking the team up the Tower in my absence..."

Shibisu didn't know how long he stayed there, frozen in place, as he listened to a dead man's words.

"When we first met, I'd admit that my impression of you was rather bad." Shibisu could hear a smile on Khun's voice. "But over the years, you've proven yourself to be a capable  leader - one that despite your weaknesses, you could still make people stronger than you, even Princesses of Jahad, to follow your words."

Words filled with trust and praise - words that Shibisu had secretly wanted for Khun to tell him before - that he didn't want to hear, if it meant losing the one who spoke them.

There were some recollections of their journey up the Tower but mostly advice - between friends and fellow leaders of the group - and well wishes for their safe journey up the Tower.

"...I've sent a copy of the data I collected over the years to your pocket, I'm sure that some - if not most - of it would prove useful in your climb up the Tower."

Khun also gave him some specific instructions regarding certain circumstances, a list of contacts for him to call upon when in dire need and many more things that Shibisu did not expect Khun would know nor would share to him.

"...I'm sure this is already obvious but..." There was a slight pause in the message. "My only request would be for you to help take Bam up the Tower."

A final request.

"Because I unfortunately couldn't do that myself now."

Between friends and teammates, there shouldn't have been any need for Khun to tell him this but Shibisu knew exactly why the Lightbearer still did.

Because unlike Khun, Shibisu would never put Bam as his first priority over his original team.

Khun knew that. He understood that. And respected that.

And Shibisu's heart tightened painfully in his chest because he also knew that Khun was right. That between Bam and his original team... Shibisu would always prioritize his original team first.

Just like how Khun would always put Bam first and everything else second.

So aside from Khun's genuine desire to help their whole team... It was also a plea.

A plea that even if that time comes when Shibisu had to choose, he would still try to reconsider and try to save Bam along with the rest of their team.

"It had been fun, Shibisu. And I really hoped it'll continue some more."

And a final farewell.

"...but I guess this is goodbye."

Shibisu couldn't decide if he wanted to go back to their rented place now or to just stay in place.

Because if he went back now... Shibisu could no longer fool himself into thinking that this was not real and was just a hallucination.

So he stood there in place.

The fragile illusion he set up for himself, even if just for a few more minutes was destroyed when their friends arrived - each with grave expressions on their faces.

That's when Shibisu realized that tears had been silently falling from his eyes, his expression just as broken as theirs.

"Isu... This is just a joke, right...?"

When Shibisu and the others arrived on Rak, Khun, and Bam's room, it was a scene they never expected to ever see.

Bam sat on the bed, his body cradling Khun's body in an embrace, his eyes bloodshot and cheeks stained with dried tears - a clear indication that he'd been crying for a few hours now. Rak was holding the two of them within his huge arms, tears falling like raindrops, he was no longer wailing but choking out broken sobs instead.

Opting to cry in silence and not disturb the blunette's sleep.

Even without touching the body, Shibisu could already tell from afar that it's already cold and devoid of life.

That was probably the moment when it sank into everyone that Khun was truly no longer with them.

Even if they wanted to lie to themselves, the truth in front of them wouldn't allow them.

Khun was dead and they didn't even know why.

Hwaryun most likely knew however she did not say a single word. Only that Khun didn't want them to know. And that it's best that they didn't know.

What they did know was that Khun was aware of his situation for a long time now and he'd been preparing for it... No, he was already prepared for it.

Aside from the personalized messages for everyone, Khun had also prepared gifts for each one of them. An observer and copy of data for Shibisu. An ignition weapon for Hatz, Endorsi and Anaak. Shinsu-reinforced blanket and pillows for Laure.

Hwaryun also received something however the Guide didn't tell them what it was.

Rak got an ignition weapon along with an unlimited banana supply.

Bam received all of Khun's lighthouses and other belongings.

The next few days had been a blur.

While Khun had prepared everything for them, his message did not indicate anything that was for himself. What to do with his corpse - to bury it or to burn it so they could bring the ashes with them, whether to call Ran and his other team, what to tell others.

They didn't have to think for long though as Bam had decided it for them.

Bam bought the house they've been renting for an astronomical sum and had FUG safeguard it. Despite having FUG safeguard it, Bam had also placed various protective locks and mechanisms.

The bed in their room was replaced with one that was similar to Evan's glass case item back then that was used for Khun. It preserved the state of the one lying on it.

Until they cleared the Floor Test, they stayed in the house. The room Khun's body lay became a restricted zone only Bam and Rak could enter.

Whenever there was a chance, Bam and Rak spent their time in that room. Rak would often stay in the room and talk to the Blue Turtle. Adamantly telling them that the Blue Turtle was just being lazy and sleeping. That he would wake up one day and then join their adventures again. That the Blue Turtle was too strong and cunning to just drop dead like that.

Rak would go to the room and then narrate his day's events. Sometimes, he would even try to bribe Khun with the bananas and tell him that if Khun wakes up, Rak would give him all the bananas he had.

No one told Rak to stop.

Because even if Rak insisted that his Blue Turtle was alive, the tears pooling at the corner of his eyes and threatening to drop told everyone that Rak knew.

Rak knew that Khun was dead and would not come back.

But that didn't mean Rak accepted his death. None of them did.

And so Rak continued to lie to himself that the sneaky Blue Turtle was alive and was just messing around with them.

Even if they all knew that it was just a lie.

Bam's condition was a lot more terrible than Rak's.

Bam no longer cried but it was worse than him crying out to them. He looked dead as if he lost his soul and he was now just a doll on autopilot.

Bam would stay in the room and not come out after hours, he'd also eat and sleep in it, with Rak occasionally joining him. When he came out, his eyes would be red and puffy but there were no tear stains on his face.

As Bam would often cook for their whole group, there would always be an extra portion. An extra portion that they all knew would not be eaten.

On the days that he joined them to eat in the dining table, there would be an empty seat next to him, the extra portion right in front of that empty seat.

None of them questioned it.

Like a dragon guarding its treasures, Bam would only ever look at the things Khun left behind but never actually use it. Bam had full access to Khun's lighthouses and use it, however for fear of even scratching it a little - worse, destroying it - Bam never used it in battles.

Only looking and touching it.

As if the one Bam was carefully holding and touching wasn't just an item left behind but the person who once owned it.

More days passed and although they didn't want to leave - Bam and Rak the most vocal about it, their group eventually had to.

But even as they left the floor, they couldn't recall how exactly did they so.

And up the Tower they climbed.

They had no idea how Khun did it.

On every floor, there was a member of the Khun family to help them.

At first, it was Khun Ran. Ran had also received a message regarding Khun's death and had rushed upwards the Tower to meet Bam's team.

The younger Khun looked devastated despite his attempts to keep his mask of indifference and boredom. He and the team he formed joined up with Bam's to help them climb up the Tower.

The only condition was that he was allowed to see Khun and his belongings anytime he wanted.

So every year, on the day of Khun's death, their whole group would go back to the 100th Floor with Hwaryun's help to visit Khun. No matter how high up they were climbing in the Tower, no matter the situation they were in, they would meet up in the 100th Floor where Khun's body rests.

They would just stay there, with no one saying anything. It was just a quiet time to remember Khun's memories with them. A time to reminisce of the moments they shared with the blunette, whether it was good or bad or everything in between.

For Bam, he'd go there twice a year.

The other time would be on Khun's birthday. Bam would bring Khun gifts - precious items he's found on his journey - and tell him stories of his adventures.

Of how hard it was without him. Of how he imagined things would go if Khun was with them. Of how much he missed him. Of how much Bam wanted to talk to him again.

Everything.

There were so many things that Bam wanted to tell Khun but the one he wanted to listen to it could no longer hear.

The things that Bam would prepare every year would be different. However, there would always be a cake and Cream Spaghetti in the menu.

Always.

A cake to celebrate Khun's birthday. And Cream Spaghetti because it was what Khun wanted to eat the most before he passed away. It was the dish he last requested Bam to make.

And the dish Khun didn't get to eat on that day.

Aside from those two days, Bam wouldn't willingly make Cream Spaghetti anymore. If there was Cream Spaghetti in their menu, it only meant one thing.

Bam was missing Khun and unconsciously made it to fulfill Khun's request.

It tasted delicious, of course. Just the way Khun liked it.

But also a little too salty from the tears that slid down Bam's cheeks as he ate it.

An extra portion untouched next to him, perfectly seasoned, cooked and plated.

Hwaryun, Rak and Ran would accompany him without fail. The others would also try to come as much as possible.

Once, Bam almost killed a FUG Executive for making him go to an impromptu mission on Khun's death anniversary. The only reason he wasn't able to kill that person was because he was held back by some of the Elders.

Bam almost missed it.

That's when the Elders at FUG decided that those days are off-limits. No one was to disturb the Slayer Candidate and his friends on those days. Only death awaited those who did.

Bam's mental state was even worse than the time he had been forced into Jue Viole Grace's identity by FUG. The remains of Team Sweet and Sour could atest to this when they met up with Bam's team.

Bam would try to smile, but it was a broken one, no longer as bright and genuine as it did before. When Bam thought no one was looking, he would space out and have that blank look on his face, eyes focused on something blue.

That would be the time when Bam was the most dangerous. As he was silently reliving the memories he had with Khun and anyone who disrupted his daydream ended up dead, or if they were lucky to have escaped with their life, seriously injured instead.

And Bam wouldn't even remember doing it.

Only Rak could snap him out of that state unscathed.

Little changes started to show on Bam and Hwarun didn't know if it was for the better.

Bam would try to smile some more and it wasn't a broken smile that showed just how much pain he was trying to hide. It returned to the bright smiles he had before... but just a little more mechanical.

Because Khun wanted him to smile.

So smile Bam did.

Until Bam perfected his smile - his smile that Bam knew Khun liked seeing the most - and it became his mask just as how Khun had his smirks as his own.

A smile that hid everything behind.

There were times when their team would mistakenly thought that Khun was still with them.

"...who bought these sushi?" Hatz asked one day, as he went through the fridge in their temporary housing in the 111th Floor. He was taking a break from his training and was craving for a snack.

Sushi seemed really appealing to Hatz at that moment.

"I did. It was pretty good." Bam answered with a smile as he entered the kitchen, taking one of the packages from Hatz.

Hatz froze at Bam's words.

Bam wasn't fond of raw food and didn't find it as delicious as others.

But Khun did.

Hatz suddenly found the sushi hard to swallow.

There were more instances like this.

Instances when Bam would act just like Khun and Bam didn't even seem to realize it. Bam would wear clothes similar to the ones Khun had worn - white button-up shirts, slacks, brown or blue trench coats... Or even little habits like what time he would take a bath or sleep, where he would place his things.

It wasn't exactly the same as where Khun would place it, just a few inches off. As if Bam was still reserving the exact spot for Khun but still reminding them - him - of Khun's presence.

And it was all too easy to do that because somehow, Khun managed to do the impossible.

Despite his death, Khun made them feel as if he was still there with them.

Aside from Ran, there were other Khuns who helped them up on the higher floors. Some of them being the most unexpected ones.

There was an unnamed Khun that appeared before them - claiming to be the one to have helped them - his brother Khun Aguero Agnis, to be exact - stop the Hell Train so they could board them.

A reminder of the things Khun did for them - of favors the Lightbearer pulled without any of them knowing. They just knew that Khun had a plan to stop the Hell Train but they never knew what exactly did he exchange for that favor.

And now, even when he's no longer with them, Khun had still pulled favors from all over the Tower so that their climb up would be just a little safer, just a little easier, just a little better.

The unnamed Khun was a High Ranker just like Bam's master, evidenced by the fact that he alone could stop the Hell Train. Even as he gave them his assistance, he never revealed his name to them, opting to just be called "Khun".

Of course, Bam couldn't call him "Khun". Because that's what he called his Khun - his closest friend, his advisor, his strategist, his Lightbearer...

So Bam called him "Big Brother".

The blue-haired High Ranker coldly stared at him when Bam first called him that before sighing.

"The only reason you're alive right now even after you called me that is because you are my brother's friend."

Surprisingly, the  High Ranker didn't ask them for any favors in return aside from one thing.

"A.A already did me a favor for this so I don't need anything else from you kids. Just give me access to where he is so I can visit him."

The High Ranker spoke as if Khun wasn't dead and was just in a deep sleep.

Princess Khun Maschenny Jahad helped them escape once from Jahad's forces when things went south for their group. "A favor from A.A," was all the cold Princess told them as she killed their pursuers under the guise of misfires.

She saved them the same way she used to let Ha Jinsung let his guard down and capture him.

Khun Eduan, in all his flesh and glory, sent them directly to Jahad's throne without a single word.

When Bam reached the very top of the Tower, there was no longer anyone by his side.

The blue sky above him during daytime was beautiful.

But it was empty.

And it couldn't compare to the soft blue of that person's hair.

The sunlight that kissed Bam's skin was warm.

But he felt cold instead as there wasn't that person's warmth.

The stars at night twinkled and shimmered like gems scattered in the night sky.

But it seemed dull compared to that person's eyes and smile.

"...if there really was a God out here... Please." There was an unfamiliar wetness in Bam's eyes, he had stopped crying long ago. Not even when his friends died one by one in front of him.

"Please." A lone tear slid down.

"Please." Shoulders trembling once more.

"Let me meet them again." A cracked voice could be heard no more.

Ever so blue

So bright and true

Lonely without you

Please come home soon

And watch me bloom

Or else I'm doomed

Won't you come back?

You're the one I lack

But blue turned black

Not a thing to find

Not a soul behind

No longer by my side

A wish unheard

God's wrath incurred

A crown conferred

An empty throne

That is not my home

And so I roam

To the past

Where dreams may last

And spells were cast

Ever so blue

So bright and true

I'm going to find you.