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“I can’t believe you’re ditching me for my sister.”
Patrick laughs at his husband’s grumpy disposition as he crawls into bed next to him. He leans over and kisses David’s brow, leaning back to this side of the bed to turn off the light. “I can’t believe you signed me up for this marketing conference in New York and still have the nerve to complain about me going.”
David rolls his eyes and grabs Patrick’s arms as they snuggle under the covers. “Okay, well, I didn’t realize in the moment that I wouldn’t be able to go with you.”
“Someone’s got to stay with the store, David. Besides, Stevie’s in town this week, you’ll be fine.”
“You might not be though.”
“David, I’ll be with Alexis the whole time. I’ll be fine.”
“No, that’s precisely why you won’t be fine. She is going to drive you so insane that by the end of the weekend you’ll want to divorce me just so you never have to see her again.”
Patrick gave David a light shove with his free arm. “You’re just jealous because you miss her. Don’t worry, I’ll tell Alexis how heartbroken you are to miss out on our brother/sister New York adventure.”
David huffs a faux-frustrated sigh and rolls away from Patrick so he’s laying on his stomach. “Heads up, her couch is super uncomfortable to sleep on. She’ll probably invite you to sleep in her bed with her.”
Patrick’s head pops up in surprise. “What? Why would she offer that?”
“Because she’s a clingy sleeper and always wants someone with her while she sleeps. The second she learned how to climb out of her crib she was waking me up trying to get into my bed. Even when we were in the twin beds in the motel I would sometimes wake up with her on top of me. It’s disgusting, but take her up on the offer if she asks. Her bed now is like sleeping on a cloud.”
“You’d really be comfortable with me sharing a bed with your sister?”
“Of course, you’re not attracted to her and, no offense, but after your extremely hot make out at your housewarming party I can guarantee she’s not into you even the tiniest bit.”
“Okay, I don’t want to be offended by that, but I kinda am. Either way, I doubt she’ll be comfortable sharing a bed with me so she won’t ask. But thanks for the permission, I guess.”
“Trust me, she’ll ask. And for the sake of your back, I hope you agree.”
---
“So, Patrick, that’s the tour!! What do you think?” Alexis looks at Patrick with wide eyes, visibly anxious for his approval of her tiny apartment. His heart melts a little at the realization that his opinion means something to his sister-in-law.
“It’s so perfect for you, Alexis. I love it.” She beams up at Patrick before gesturing to the couch.
“So, since I obviously don’t have a guest room, the couch is all yours. Unless…you know, Twyla’s said it’s pretty uncomfortable, so you are free to sleep in my room with me this weekend so you don’t fuck up your back right before having to sit in folding chairs all day tomorrow.” Alexis bites the side of her lip and pretends to busy herself with the plant on the coffee table in front of her while she waits for an answer.
Patrick smiles softly in surprise. David had warned him but most of him didn’t expect Alexis to feel comfortable enough with him to actually offer. He waits until she sneaks a glance at him before brighting his smile and answering. “That sounds fun Alexis! A real slumber party this time. Thanks, that definitely seems more comfortable than a couch.”
Alexis does her weird, scrunchy doubled eyed wink at Patrick in excitement and grabs his carry on. “Then you can just put your stuff in my room! What do you want for dinner, one of the greatest things about the city is that we can order literally anything your little heart desires.”
The pair spend the rest of the evening eating Thai food and splitting their time between half-watching reality TV and gossiping about the missing Rose family members. Before long they were finishing the getting-ready-for-bed dance around each other in the bathroom and turning off the lights.
“God Alexis, this bed might be the softest I’ve ever laid in.” Patrick sinks into his borrowed pillow and sighs as he feels his back relax into the mattress.
Alexis turns to lay on her right side so she’s facing her brother-in-law. “Oh my god, I know right? The man at the store showed me this one immediately and I didn’t even look at any of the others, I just bought it and they delivered it to me that afternoon. It’s the best purchase I’ve ever made.”
“I want to take a picture of the label tomorrow so David and I can get one when it’s time for us to upgrade. He told me this bed is like a cloud and he was not wrong.” He smiles at Alexis and she lets out a little giggle.
“One time, when I was like 4 and David was like 10, he told me the clouds were edible and tasted like cotton candy. I stupidly believed him and made a plan to climb on the roof and try to catch one. David got home from school and saw me on the roof trying to pull up a chair using a rope so I could reach higher and started crying because he thought I was going to die. He ran and got the gardener to get me down and then he yelled at me until he realized it was his fault.”
“The roof? How did you get up there if you were only four? I’d be crying too!”
“Oh, it didn’t take long to figure out. I climbed out a window on the third floor onto a balcony and then just had to balance on the rail and climb the brick the rest of the way. I swung myself up and I was fine!”
“You have lived a lot more life than me, Alexis. I’m really glad you made it through everything alive so we got to meet, I love having you as a sister.”
Alexis gets an earnest look on her face and reaches out to tap at Patrick’s arm. “Really Patrick? Sometimes I can’t tell if David is actually annoyed with me or not really annoyed with me but I know I don’t do a very good job at being there for you guys like you are for me. I’m trying.”
Patrick flips his body so he and Alexis are face to face. He gives her a reassuring smile and slides his hand across his chest to rest under his cheek. “You are the best sister we could ask for, Alexis. We wouldn’t change anything about you, so please don’t worry about not being good enough. You are there for David every time he has a clothing or parent crisis and you’ve proven you will always be there for me by saving me from having to solve David’s clothing and parent problems.”
Alexis nods and flips over onto her back. “I really thought I was ruining everything by being a girl boss and moving here. I thought I was going to lose you guys and my years in Schitt’s Creek would just be, like, a finished chapter in my life I always look back on as my best years. But I had to risk it, because if I didn’t I would have always wondered, you know? But what gave me confidence to actually do it was the hope - because I didn't really believe it at the time - that you and David would be holding down a home for me in Schitt’s Creek. So I owe you a big thank you for that.”
It’s quiet for a moment as her voice trails off. Patrick reaches out to grab her hand this time and gives it a squeeze, and Alexis turns her head and looks at him with eyes glowing with gratitude.
“Alexis, you always have a home with us. I’m glad you realize that we’re your home, because you are such a vital part of our family and we want you around us as much as possible.”
“Thanks, Patrick. You really are pretty consistently ranking above David in the ‘my favorite brother’ competition these days.” “That’s a pretty big deal in my mind since you’re the only sibling I’ve ever had and David has almost 30 years of brotherhood on me.”
“Don’t tell him but he’s winning in the longevity category. You win everything else though. Especially because you’re not yelling at me to move further away because my body heat is disgusting.”
Patrick lets out a laugh that turns into a yawn. “David warned me you like to cling in your sleep.”
Alexis hummed. “I also like to cling when I’m awake. I won’t if you don’t want me to though, because you’re winning the competition and I don’t want you to forfeit because I invade your personal space.”
Patrick scoots closer to her and opens his left arm. “We can cuddle. I don’t mind.” Alexis quietly gasps in excitement and lays her head on his shoulder, keeping her arms tucked under her chin and curling her legs into her stomach.
“This is the best sleepover ever, Patrick.”
“Tomorrow night let’s do our nails and I can catch you up on the townies. It’ll be my reward for sitting through hours of marketing panels.”
“Yay, Patrick, yay! Now go to sleep before you stay up so late that you’ll complain about me keeping you up in the morning.”
“Night, Alexis.”
Patrick listens to her breathing even out and slowly reaches for his phone with his free right arm. He holds it up above them, snaps a picture of Alexis sleeping soundly tucked into his side, and sends it to David without a caption.
Within seconds David sends three red heart emojis, followed quickly with a selfie of himself leaning on Patrick’s pillow.
Patrick: miss you David
David: love you Patrick. Give Alexis a squeeze for me but DON’T TELL HER
Patrick: love you too. and alexis does too. good night <3 <3 <3