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They were here alone. On the beach, with the salty winds that stung Guts’ scars. There was a sense of familiarity with such an arrangement. Not nostalgia… more like déjà vu , as if Guts was young again. Contrary to his body’s attempt to remind him every crawl of a second that he was something aged and broken . Only him and this mysterious knight, who radiated a cold essence of death in both appearance and aura.
Schierke and the two elves departed upon the request of the knight. It had been politely worded enough, to resemble something of a humble plea. The weight of the words landed hard enough to betray the order behind the request. Watching the event unfold left a trail of goosebumps down Guts’ spine, unsettled by a masterful display controlled command. It was as impressive as it was unnerving; a brush of looming danger like the night they first met.
Power and control, the knight did not wield it… he embodied it.
Guts watched them leave, gaze locked over his shoulder until they made adequate distance. It processed that for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he was alone with something he did not understand. No warm company, no promise of encouragement. Nothing the Black Swordsman had been stranger to, and yet, as his life unfolded more and more with surprises, it had become foreign again.
The second they were far out of earshot, Guts’ attention snapped back to the Skull Knight.
“What’s so bad you can’t tell me in front of the kid?”
Guts was no fool. After all the cryptic prattling and informational gifts, no hesitance in Schierke’s presence, boded nothing well. What was to come was meant for his ears and his ears alone.
Guts continued with his inquiry, “Is it about the Elf Monarch and Casca? Or is it about the armor?”
Annoyingly, Skull Knight did not answer right away. He sure loves his timing , Guts thought as he stared expectantly at the knight who stared right back. It was never easy to read a stationary mask, but for some reason, Guts got the feeling that the knight was… contemplative? He did not like it. The ghastly glow of the other’s eyes pierced through him. His skin crawled.
To no relief, the silence was finally broken. “The armor.”
Of course, it had to be about the armor, Guts thought. At this point, he expected the Skull Knight’s final omen to be that the armor fated him to die within a year at this point… or something else as disastrously dramatic. Claims that would be unheeded by Guts, ultimately.
“Well, you already heard me and the girl back there. This armor isn’t anything I can’t ha---”
“Your Beast calls for you to harm those that are closest to you.”
Silence.
Damn bastard knowing exactly how to shut me up.
Guts’ stare deepened with a darker element; a glare now cast towards the other. He felt cold now, cold and stinging, with a new worried beat to his heart. Thud, thud, thud… like wolf pads on the floor. The Skull Knight did not shift one bit, the same as always. Infallible, knowing, and unchanged. Time and the world in his hands, or… almost. The appearance of the knight felt whimsical every time, chapters ahead of anybody else. Despite it all, his efforts were in vain one way or another. Casualty unchanged.
But it’s supposed to be about the fish that leaps from the stream… or something like that , Guts had yet to understand the knight’s prattlings. Not that the moment made it any easier to recall. His thoughts were away from himself, out of control. A slumbering fury was roused.
“How do you know about that?” Guts’ voice was low, barely rising above a frustrated croak. He felt exposed. That was his demon to fight, his to HATE , only for him to know of . His shame to be burdened. To be known, and talked of, by another person, like it was words from a book… He felt violated.
Of course, he did not get a direct answer.
“It gorges on the Od of the armor. The Beast and the steel; they are one in the same now. Your resistance marked your mind as the battleground, struggler. You feel the effects, do you not?”
Battleground . Scars over scars over scars , upon the flesh and mind alike. Blood and more blood, the blood from his veins and memories of crimson pools. Charred and marred. Yeah , a battleground was exactly what he felt like.
Guts sat on a grassy patch amidst the sand.
He deserved it after having to deal with all of this shit. He did not look at the Skull Knight. He did not want to be here, not right now. Not in this moment. He wanted to be in the hut with companions and be distracted by their stupid antics, Casca kept in the corner of his vision...
“Is there anything that can be done? Or is this just another moment for you to give me know-it-all warnings?” The question came out exhausted . Not defeated, his path of vengeance was not finished, but still was he tired. He did not know how to do anything different than this. Weary and begrudging steps forward, spitting death in the face. He expected the worst. This is what he was now, as was engraved on the back of his neck.
“Indeed, there is a manner you can keep the Beast’s imagery at bay. But one such as yourself may find the method…” Skull Knight paused, for once considering his words incredibly carefully, “ degrading .”
“Degrading, huh?” If the Skull Knight wanted to be looked at, this was one hell of a way to get Guts attention back on him. Just like being told of the Elf Monarch’s powers, there was a leap of hope in that ragged heart of his. No, no… he knew better than to get too excited too soon. There was a catch, always.
He waited for Skull Knight to continue, and when the other did not, his patience broke. “ Well , what for? Can’t be that degrading.”
“We will see,” the Skull Knight murmured. The knight finally budged from his stance, stepping closer towards the seated Guts. Guts, unsure of what to make of this, leaned back with a wary look. It was unlike the knight to get close without purpose. “The temptations that the Beast howls within you. For it to be abated, these desires must be supplemented with something similar. Without giving the Beast what it really wants. It will devour these actions, believing itself satiated. It will starve, unaware, on its meal of trickery, and go dormant for a time.”
“… can you just cut the bullshit and tell me what I need to do for once?” Guts retorted, uncomfortable.
Another frustrating, mind-numbing pause between question and answer. This time, Guts’ stomach knotted with looming dread. Unlike before, the Skull Knight loomed mere feet away from him now, a long shadow cast beneath the full moon’s light. The skull-shaped helmet was illuminated by the pale glow of his stare. It was unholy. Guts’ soul felt exposed; cold fingers ran through it.
“Blood and death cannot trick it. Every swing of your sword livens it. Your violence is twisted for its gain, no matter what. There is a different ecstasy that it calls for. A pleasure that can be many faceted. A pleasure of the carnal variant.”
“Carnal?” Guts repeated, one eyebrow perked. The words began to settle.
Carnal? What type of carnal pleasure…?
Wait .
Wait.
“You did not just tell me to have sex ,” the words tumbled out of Guts’ in an incredulous fluster. He could not believe it. He could not believe that it would be such a simple solution, nor that the Skull Knight of all people suggested it. It had to be wrong. Right now, the Skull Knight would correct him, and then he’d feel stupid for assuming---
“That I did, struggler.”
FUCK.
“No,” Guts spat. His head jerked to look the other direction. He would no longer dignify the knight. This is ridiculous , he bitterly thought. A deep heat bubbled in the darkest recesses of his body. Not warm like a passion; it seared like lava. Volatile, consumptive. He let it reign, not sparing one question to why he felt that way. It was understandable. It made sense. There was a reason he was like this and nothing could be done to change that .
“I thought as much. It is your choice to make, I merely believed it best you knew there was such a choice.” The Skull Knight had no reaction to the question. He must have felt there was nothing left to be said and began to turn away.
That was, until Guts proved himself unable to shut his mouth.
“Does it look like I have someone to fuck around here? Two children, a holy fanatic, her maid, and two little pixies ?” The words tumbled out, not a second of consideration between them. The syllables of the words quaked with barely contained frustration. “Not that I have time either, between all of the shit constantly nipping at my heels. But yeah, yeah , how about I have a quick fuck .”
Casca , he realized he forgot to describe amidst the disgraceful listing of his current companions. Undoubtedly, she was out of the question as well. Her mind was shattered, she was hardly more than another child to look after. Her new heart was filled with nothing but disdain for him because he did… that .
God… dammit . He acknowledged it.
The memory was at the forefront of his mind now. Long buried and avoided, it was present again. The type of person he swore to never be.
The type of person he pledged to kill. No longer silver and blinding. It was him, his own reflection in the water.
All at once, the boiling anger that squeezed his insides turned him ill. Red-hot claws clenched into a fist, solidified into a disgusting heavy object and sunk his stomach to the depths of his being. His legs tensed; his knees drawn up to his chest. A chill cold enough to burn had settled over him. His tendons were tensed and poised, muscles rigid to the point they ached. The tips of his finger shook, unable to bear the man they were attached to.
Guts’ mouth tasted of copper. With a roll of his tongue, he could feel it; a piece of his cheek bitten down on by his molars.
His cape fluttered against his back. It was roused by the memory. It dripped down his back like clotted blood, slow and oozing.
With a growl, Guts’ prosthetic slammed into the grass beneath him. Dirt went scattering. Each heave of his chest brought more ocean salt into his throat until the flesh felt dried and barren.
God dammit. Right in front of him too…
Speaking of him , Guts eyed the knight from the corner of his vision. What a fucking mess he must look like. Incapable of denying a suggestion without an outburst. A wild, panicked look in his face… like he was some kind of animal…
The Skull Knight, seemingly, was undisturbed. He observed the same way he observed many things before him. Quiet and contemplative, allowing rumination before vocalization. Never quite surprised, like it was expected all along. Guts wanted to scare him off. To curse, growl, and demand he leave. He wanted to be out of this situation and free from this humiliation.
The knight spoke to ground him and shackle the beast.
“ To be known. A nightmarish concept to many people who harbor such darkness,” he began, his tone as even as ever. No pity, no shock, and no insult. If anything, there was an earnest essence in his voice that was unfamiliar. “The visions of your temptation. I know not what they are. I have no intent in casting judgement upon what horrors a demon conjures for you. I may exist outside your understanding… but that does not make me a mind reader, struggler.”
The Skull Knight’s helmet tipped forward. For the first time ever, Guts thought he could see sympathy in that hollow helmet of his. The frenzied pace of his pulse began to slow. Soon enough, his breathing followed the calmer rate. The thudding in his ears stopped. The hardened, scarred features of his expression went slack. His crestfallen appearance was a plea that did not need words--- a plea that he was too cowardly to speak his terrors and it haunted him.
The Skull Knight was right. He was right and Guts despised it the same way he despised his own weakness.
“ Our path is not an easy one. From here on out, it will only get worse with your acquisition of the armor. I have my ways of helping you and I am offering, myself , to aid you. You will find such understanding of your dark plight nowhere else. But it is your choice to ultimately make and find comfort in. Forcing my help would make the purpose obsolete.”
There was a lot to take in for Guts. The first being that it sounded the knight himself was offering to be his… partner? Strange was an understatement. Guts was wary of thinking about it too far. Neither did he seek to ask for clarification when his mind was still coming down from its reel. Secondly, it was a direction that Guts was afraid of even now. He had a hundred and one reasons to cower away from a proposition and in any other situation, it would be for the best. He was unsure if he could reign in what haunted him.
But… he knew he needed help. So, he spoke. Hardly able to believe it as he said the words himself. He gave an answer. One he needed to say the second his mind decided, lest he never say it.
“… okay. Okay, fine.” A witness to many impossible things, this night felt the most unbelievable of all. “But we’re finding a spot closer to the cliffside,” a thumb pointed to the abandoned cabin further down the beach, “I don’t want them to have any chance of seeing us.”
There was no reply. The knight turned away and made his way to the mentioned area. Guts took a few seconds to himself, sighing deeply over what he was getting into. With a resigned huff, Guts stood followed, still wondering if this was all real.
It was easy enough finding a spot where the field stretched into the cliffside. A well-shaped cranny dented into the wall of sediment. Perfect to keep away any unwanted eyes. The ocean rolled and roared, certain to block out any possible noise. Still, Guts’ fingers twitched with the anxiety of a virgin on her wedding night. He was out of place. Dare he even say insecure. Not knowing what to do, he began to second-guess his choice before banishing the thought from his mind.
You know you need to do something about this. You agreed to it. It’s just sex , Guts, he argued within himself. It was not very effective. He wished it was as easy as it was just sex. Plenty of people have sex. Some too much, others too little. But sex was never just sex to Guts. His childhood made sure of that.
Life’s a bitch.
“So, uh… hate to ask but, how are we doing this?” Guts tentatively started. He vaguely gestured to--- well, all of Skull Knight’s body. “Unless you’re about to reveal there’s actually a person under all of that, I don’t think you’re equipped for this.”
A pause. “And too spiky,” Guts quickly added on as he anxiously eyed a protruding prong from the knight’s pauldron.
Even with a question like that, the Skull Knight did not skip a beat. His reply came while he began to undo the buckle that connected the tassets to the faulds, “I have my ways, as I do for many things. I do admit, this one is of a more situational variety than my other feats.”
“I’d imagine so,” Guts murmured. Greeaaaat, inter-dimensional cock . One tasset fell to the ground, and with it, some of Guts’ worry. At least he would not have to worry about the spikes digging into his thighs. As the other tasset was worked on, Guts examined the rest of the knight’s armor. Once the extra layer over his gauntlets were removed, the shoulders were the most he had to avoid. Easy enough, he just had to make sure he didn’t put his hands over or around them. Depending on the position, the knee-guards would not be a problem. The claw-tips on the knight’s gauntlet would be the knight’s responsibility to be cautious of.
I can’t believe I’m figuring how to fuck a skeleton knight.
The Skull Knight cast a cursory glance behind before he began to separate his gauntlets. “Unless you’ve changed your mind, you have much more undressing to do than I, struggler,” he advised as plainly as one commented on the weather.
“Right, right.” Guts faced away from the other knight. He undid the clasp of his buckle, stopped to think about how insane this was one last time, before the loop was dropped to the ground on one swift motion. At an anxious pace, more and more pieces joined its company until Guts was stripped down to nothing but bandages. A cold breeze blew out from the ocean and straight through his skin. Goosebumps speckled his shoulders. For the first time in many, many months, Guts was fully exposed. More than during the Eclipse, more than with Slan in the Qliphoth… it came with a feeling akin to dread. His body felt light without the armor, but his insides weighed heavy.
“Are you ready?”
Guts looked behind with slight surprise. Apparently, the Skull Knight had taken the gauntlets off faster than it took him to take off everything, of course, and had watched for some time. Realizing this, a warm flush finally tinged Guts cheeks.
“About as ready as I’ll ever be. Are you going to show me what you’re, uh…” Guts struggled to ask as he lazily pointed at the knight, “going to do to make this work? You know, you need a--- you know .”
“It is not necessary I show you. It is, most likely, for the best as to not distract your mind. I only need for you to lie on your back,” the Skull Knight instructed as he stepped closer to Guts. “You are comfortable with that, yes? I believe it would be easiest for both of us.”
“Probably, yes. I-I can,” Guts stammered. Naked and about to lie down, the gravity of the situation sunk in for the fifth time tonight. Each step forward reminded him as if it was something newly told. Yet another time he would have to feel, process, and suck up what he agreed to. He knew he could back out; he did not believe himself trapped in his agreement. In the time that separated the negotiation and undressing, Guts found confidence in his decision. It just did not make him completely free of any emotion, nor ecstatic that his life somehow spiraled so out of control that he was fucking a centuries-old hollow knight to shut a stupid wolf-demon up.
Here goes nothing , Guts thought. With that, he lowered himself onto the grassy ground. He sat, paused, then began to lower himself back more until his head met the grass. It quickly turned surreal when the Skull Knight followed the lead and bent down on his knees.
His massive armored form loomed over Guts, the full moon a backdrop to his silhouette. Looking right at that mask, that unnatural light of vision, having steel-clawed fingers now separating his thighs, Guts could not help but feel that he was possibly giving himself up to something evil. That was what it looked like at least. There was no fair maiden above him, not even a handsome man bent over, he just had… this knight. This skeletal and steely, inhuman knight.
This knight, similar in path and struggles nevertheless, and willing to help him. An ally, a… friend? Perhaps? Were they friends? Or was he like a shadow of the other knight, a repetition that could be altered in ways the knight refused the first time around? Guts could not tell if his sense of time slowed or his thoughts were racing, allowing him to ponder such depth before anything had even happened.
This is not what he wanted his life to be like.
The Skull Knight probably did not want a life like this either.
Perhaps, there was some comfort in that shared existence, cursed as it is.
“If we existed in physical realms, more would prelude this. But my way eases the process, and I am sure you are eager for the relief to come quickly.”
“Pal, just do it already,” Guts hastily breathed. If this took any longer, he was certain his thoughts would place him in a special place of expectant insanity until he snapped.
“As you wish.” Skull Knight’s hands hooked under Guts’ thighs, effortlessly lifting the man’s middle until his pelvis rested over the knight’s.
Guts did not look at the Skull Knight. He looked at the blanket of stars above. The few clouds had rolled away. No twinkle of light was obscured, laid clearly above him in all its beautiful glory.
One final adjustment and Guts felt something press against his entrance in a way that made his eye widen. He stopped breathing. The motions of his chest halted, frozen. His heart began to pound. Newfound alertness washed over his being; adrenaline flooded his system. The drums of war beat against his ears again.
The stars are pretty tonight .
“I will begin slowly.”
The Skull Knight began to press into him. I nside of him. Slowly as promised, but inside all the same. Whatever the knight did, whatever he was using, did not feel like what Guts would expect a cock to feel like. Not warm enough to be flesh, but not cold enough to be off-putting. It was also slick, which Guts was grateful for, as it minimized the pain… strange and unnatural as it was.
At least the knight was right about one thing, Guts did not want to know…
“Do not forget to breathe,” the Skull Knight advised as he sunk a few more centimeters in. Then, he halted.
It gave Guts time to adjust to… to the feeling of someone inside him. Someone, something. Inside. Fucking him. He was being fucked. He felt lightheaded.
He did not want to make any noise; he could not make any noise.
He was on his back in the grass, legs spread, like some kind of whore, and if he made noise, he would be pitiful and weak and ugly and--- and---
“Struggler, I need you here with me in the moment. Breathe . Please .”
Guts chest fell and out came a ragged breath that shuddered with underlying panic. Anxiety? Worry? Uncertainty… were those all the same things? He was fine with it, yes. Of course, he asked. This is what he wanted, what he needed. He knew it. It was just a lot . Reasonable to be anxious, anybody would be. It was almost like a first time again. Right?
The stars are pretty tonight .
He gasped.
“Are you alright?”
Something about the question grounded Guts. Goodbye to the stars and his mental escape, he looked to the knight, the person currently inside of him, and stared. And stared . And stared . He should have said something, but found he did not want to speak any words right now. He stared some more, then finally nodded his head slowly, despite the anxiety that kept his eye wide.
He breathed out.
For good measure, Skull Knight waited another couple of seconds before he began to press in again. Another couple of centimeters deeper, pause . Then another couple of centimeters, pause . His focus was fixated on Guts, while Guts still stared at a place far past the knight. Feeling. Adjusting. Letting everything simply… happen and let his mind process it. It was uncomfortable, but it did not feel bad. He did not worry for his safety. He merely hated feeling vulnerable and this… he did not know how he could be any more vulnerable than this. Too many memories with too much emotion, his skin was raw.
Yes, yes… he was fine. This was fine. It was good. He felt better now, allowed to sort and feel his way through the typhoon of emotion. He did not need the Skull Knight to ground him anymore. He was doing it himself now.
Been a damn long time since he felt good about something, huh…
The cold plating of the armor over the Skull Knight’s thighs made contact with the back of Guts’ thighs. Fully inside now? Guts certainly felt full and stretched. There was lingering discomfort, but it was not bad. The Skull Knight kept his promises and went slow, with whatever… he’s using making it easier. Somewhere within him, twinges of pleasure rung out. Faint when there was no movement, but were gently plucked by the pressure.
Ah, and he was hard too… When did that happen? A lustful ache made its home inside him, enjoying this pleasure. It simmered in the pit of his stomach. An unbearable heat, sickening almost. It sent bolts up his cock. Beads of pre-cum dotted his stomach.
Was that him, or the beast, that enjoyed it so?
Was it both?
Guts' head rested on his prosthetic. Not a comfortable support, but good enough to prop his head. His other hand was off to the side, finger dug into the grass, vegetation rooted up in his balled fist.
“I am going to move now.”
Like he said he would, the Skull Knight withdrew some length before delving back into Guts. Slow as the motion was, it moved Guts body. That sweet spot inside of him was pressed against. Muscles in Guts’ face twitched, a momentary furrow of the brows. No noise, but his breath inwards quivered like an embedded arrow.
“I trust you to tell me if something bothers you.”
Guts fist flashed a quick thumbs-up before it returned to ruining the grass.
Out some--- in again fully. Out some--- in again fully. Never too much or too little. The swordsman presumed the Skull Knight was steadily increasing how much he withdrew. Guts breathing grew heavier and heavier as the warmth spread all over his body. Every nerve partook in the excitement.
The Skull Knight completely withdrew. Then, plunged into him in a matter of seconds. The sensation of going from empty to full was indescribable. Guts jolted, his back curving. A cold wind was sucked through gritted teeth, and for the first time, his breath outwards came out as a small groan. Small, minor. More a strangled wheeze with how afraid it was to come out, but it was a noise. He had lost that game.
To his surprise, there was no feeling of shame or guilt that followed.
Fuck… this is where it all goes downhill…
In and out, the Skull Knight thrusted. Still slow in a way, but not as agonizingly slow as his initial press in. With each movement, Guts found more comfort, and with comfort, more pleasure. More gasps escaped; tiny “ah”-s he could not lock shut any longer. Deep inside, all throughout his body, there was this sensual glee. Pulsing, flooding. His appendages buzzed; his mind hummed. Tingly, happy. Lustful. He was enjoying this. He liked it.
Fuck, fuck, fuck…
He was prepared to get lost in this pace, until the Skull Knight thrusted in. Hard . A new force he had not used before, and the bolt of pleasure streaked through Guts’ body at such speed, stars dotted his vision. “Fuck!” Guts exclaimed as he sat upright, air gulped down.
“Mm, perhaps I should have waited…” the Skull Knight murmured, observing Guts' reaction.
“ No ,” Guts forcefully returned. No more sky, no more stars, he looked into the Skull Knight’s eyes now. His lips curled into a toothy grin. Maddened, it felt like, but most of all, it was lustful. He desired. He needed it and he was going to get it. “I am going to need you to do that again . And again . Don’t stop , got it?”
The fucker chuckled, there was no mistaking it. That cold, skeleton son of a bitch inside of him right now chuckled . “Ahh, I see now,” the Skull Knight returned. There was no continuation to that thought. The knight obeyed exactly as instructed and plunged into the swordsman. Again and again, with a force that elicited the unmistakable rhythmic thwap of sex.
Guts loved it. He fucking loved it. Sometimes it hurt, and yet this pain felt good. He moaned. Curses slipped from his mouth. His back curved to resemble a ‘C’ shape and none of it was regretted. He needed this; he really did need this. He needed to get fucked this hard. In a way, he deserved it… yeah, he deserved it. After all the shit he has to put up with, he ought to be entitled to enjoy a quick fuck in middle of nowhere, even if his partner was an inhuman of sorts.
His hand smoothed over his chest. Desperate…
“You may touch yourself, if you desire to.”
God dammit, that was hot.
“Don’t need to tell me twice,” Guts breathily replied through his grin, “Oh and--- go faster.” His hand went straight to his cock and clenched around his shaft. He pumped in tandem with the Skull Knight’s quickened thrusts, completely surrendering to the thrills of his body. He could feel it building up inside of him now, hastened by the increased pace. Sweet pleasure joining together to a sweet release. It was a bundled knot that needed to be untied, now .
“Faster!” Guts barked.
The Skull Knight tightly gripped his thighs, his back straightening to support such chaotic movements. Without hesitation, the knight obliged. He pounded in and out of the swordsman at a frantic pace, each pump marked by the distinct slap of armor on skin. He was fixated on Guts. Surely watching how his expression began to scrunch, how he could feel the muscles of his thighs begin to tense.
Guts stroked himself faster and faster, and then all at once, his body seized up. A guttural growl, no--- a pleasured roar tore out of Guts body and peaked into a loud, lewd cry of a moan. His cock pulsed. Warm sticky ropes splattered across his stomach. Sweat dripped down his forehead, his chest, his thighs--- his entire body was slick with fluid and oh , how he glistened with rosy cheeks.
The Skull Knight would say he had a very happy man in his hands, no doubt.
Guts laid there, catching his breath. Heavy heaves of air, muscles still twitching with residual climax. “Shit, that was good…” he murmured before he slowly pushed himself up, his prosthetic supporting his body upwards. He looked down at his hand, coated with milky smears from his frantic attempt to get himself off.
The high began to come down.
“I can’t believe I let you fuck me.”
“Only now you think about this?” The Skull Knight had already stood, collecting his pieces of armor off the ground.
“I noticed you didn’t finish with me. Not a sound, either..”
“I do not feel what you feel, struggler. Thus, it is unnecessary for me to finish.”
Huh… so this was all for Guts, no gain?
It was almost a little touching.
Almost.
“I would ideally stay and keep you company, struggler, after partaking in something such as this. But I have matters I must attend to, and I am certain your companions grow curious of your whereabouts.”
“Oh yeah. Shit, how long was I out there?” Armor and pants were hastily picked up and messily assembled. “I better get dressed and head back before they look for me or something. I don’t need them to know about this.”
“Until next time, struggler.”
“Yeah. You too, pal.”