Chapter Text
Raven knows that it was just a matter of time.
A matter of time until it all became -
too much.
Until it exploded.
She should have known the moment her mother smiled at her and kissed her cheek -
her breath reeking of beer and fast food and all the bad stuff that's made her that way -
and asked her about her day when she got into the car.
She promised to change -
to get better.
So much, Raven stopped counting -
and caring.
Raven should have known the moment her mother ignored the first stop sign.
"Mom", she said, "Please. Don't drive so fast."
But it only made her mother snap, telling her that she's -
a disgrace.
an abomination.
her biggest mistake.
And Raven's crying, she can't help it, because it's
her mother
saying those things.
And isn't she supposed to
love her?
be there for her?
be willing to change for her?
Even through the misty fog of her tears Raven is sure the traffic light shines -
red.
She tries to say something -
shout out a warning -
but it's too late.
There's a flash of bright white from her right and then Raven's head is spinning and her eyes can't focus and she hears
screaming and
clashing and
shouting and
she smells blood and metal and oil and then -
there's darkness.
◇◇◇
The next thing Raven hears is a soft
beep beep beep
from beside her and even though her eyes are closed she feels blinded by bright light.
She doesn't dare to open her eyes but she tries to scratch her nose -
because it just
doesn't stop itching -
but when her hand reaches her nose she feels plastic coming out of it and she panics -
her eyes are wide open and the soft beep beep picks up speed.
She can't seem to focus on anything
but then there's
a hand on hers,
gently pulling it away from her face
and a voice,
so soft,
saying:
"It's okay, Raven. You're safe."
And Raven blinks, her eyes
darting around the room,
quickly,
until they focus on a woman in front of her.
She's beautiful
Raven thinks, wondering
if she's in heaven and
it's an angel greeting her,
but then she takes in her outfit and realizes -
she's a doctor.
Are there doctors in heaven?
The doctor chuckles and starts checking the machine next to Raven.
"No, there aren't", she says softly and Raven thinks -
shit, did I say that out loud?
Another chuckle from the doctor.
"Yes, you did."
And Raven groans, closes her eyes and shakes her head.
She hears a door open and when she opens her eyes again she sees another woman coming towards her.
"Raven, you're awake", she says with a smile and Raven's eyes dart between the two women. "I'm Doctor Cartwig. You're at the Polis Central Hospital. Do you remember why you're here?"
The hospital.
Why am I at the hospital?
What happened?
Raven thinks and the soft chuckle from the first doctor tells her that again she said everything out aloud.
"It's okay, Raven." Doctor Cartwig says. "Take your time. Doctor Griffin here is going to fill you in on what happened. I'll be outside."
Doctor Cartwig leaves the room and Raven is left with Doctor Griffin, who takes a seat next to Raven's bed.
"What, what happened, Doc?"
And then Doctor Griffin -
Abby, she tells her -
explains to her what happened.
She talks about the accident and Raven remembers -
the red light.
the bright light.
the crash.
the screams.
the pain.
her Mom.
"Where's, uh, where's my Mom?"
Abby sighs and looks at Raven with pity in her eyes.
"Your mothers is," Abby starts and Raven thinks that this is it -
she's gone.
"- she got out of the car without any scratches. But because of her, well.. she- she.."
"She's an alcoholic and an addict, you can say it like it is."
Abby looks at Raven -
the poor girl, only a year older than her own daughter -
who seems so grown up.
"The police took her." Abby explains and Raven releases a breath she didn't know she was holding. "I don't know exactly what's going to happen to her."
"Rehab. Jail." Raven offers with a roll of her eyes.
"Probably." Abby says slowly.
"Okay, so when can I get out of here?" Raven asks and by the look in Abby's eyes she knows she's not going to like it.
"Raven. I am sorry. You have several serious injuries. You have six broken ribs-"
Raven stares down at her chest with wide eyes.
"- a fractured wrist -"
Raven looks at her left hand and surely it's in a bright white cast.
"- bruises all over your body -"
Raven looks down at her feet and furrows her brow in confusion when she can only see the toes of her right foot stick out of the covers.
"- and -"
"Doc, what happened to my foot?" Raven interrupts, eyes now fixated on the doctor beside her.
"Raven-"
"Where's my foot, Doc?" Raven asks with panic.
"Raven, we- we had to-"
Raven pulls back the blanket and stares at where her left foot is supposed to be.
Supposed to be.
Instead, from her knee down, there's -
"Nothing."
Raven's eyes flicker between the doctor and the empty space under her knee.
"There's nothing there."
Abby clears her throat. "Your foot took too much damage. We had to.. amputate it."
Raven's brain blanks after that and she falls back and stares at the ceiling.
"I- I think I need to be alone now, Doc."
Her voice is quiet, but strong, and Abby grabs her hand and squeezes it.
"Of course, Raven."
Raven doesn't cry after Abby leaves.
She just stares at a yellow spot at the ceiling -
for hours.
Or minutes.
She doesn't know.
◇◇◇
Doctor Cartwig comes back with two police officers who want to talk to her about the accident and she tells them everything she remembers and answers their questions regarding her mother.
The police officers leave and Doctor Griffin - Abby - comes back with a woman who introduces herself as Mrs. Cooper from child protective services, but Raven makes it clear before Mrs. Cooper has even opened her mouth to speak, that even though she's only fifteen she's capable of living alone.
"I've been helping my uncle and my cousin a lot at their workshop. There's a small flat there. It's not too far from school. I can work and live and learn there. And I won't be alone."
"Miss Reyes-"
"No, seriously. I'll be sixteen in a few months. I'm happy at school and what's left of my family is here as well. I'm not going where ever you'd put me. I'm not."
Raven keeps shaking her head.
"I'm not going."
"Okay" Abby interrupts before Mrs Cooper gets a chance to speak. "We'll think of something. And you won't have to go anywhere."
"Promise?"
"Promise." Abby says with a soft smile before turning around. "Now, Mrs Cooper, Doctor Cartwig, let's give Miss Reyes some time to process everything."
She ushers them outside and takes one last glance at Raven over her shoulder. She closes the door and Raven hears Mrs Cooper's voice.
"Doctor Griffin, you simply cannot make any promises-"
"I can and I did."
Raven smiles and drifts off into sleep.
It's hours later when both Doctor Cartwig and Doctor Griffin are back in her room, explaining what's going to happen next.
Weeks in the hospital.
Rehabilitation.
Physical therapy.
A prosthesis.
"So what you're trying to say, dozens of bills I'm going to be paying off for the rest of my life." Raven interrupts them. "I cannot afford any of that. I cannot afford a prosthesis."
"Raven-"
"No, Doctor Cartwig. I can't afford it. I can't. I'll just have to live with the fact that i don't have a left leg and have to walk around with crutches for the rest of my life."
It's quiet after that and the two doctors just stare at each other.
"We'll think of something." Doctor Cartwig says. "Try to get some sleep, Raven."
Raven doesn't sleep though. She spends hours thinking about what she'll need from the house, from her room, if her uncle would let her live above the workshop, about school and how much she'll miss in the following few weeks.
She does fall asleep eventually.
◇◇◇
The following days are all the same. Doctor Griffin and Doctor Cartwig come by, several nurses, she gets food and when her injuries are mostly healed she's given a wheelchair she uses to explore the hospital.
It's three weeks after the accident when Doctor Cartwig and Doctor Griffin stop her in the middle of the hallway with big smiles.
"Raven! Good to see you!" Doctor Cartwig says and Raven looks at them in confusion. "We have good news!"
"You do?"
"Yes." Doctor Griffin nods her head. "You know how we talked about a prosthesis and the bills and-"
"I know and I already told you that I cannot afford it." Raven interrupts with a sigh, trying to turn the wheelchair around.
"I know, I know! That's the good news. You see, our fond for youth in need received a huge anonymous donation. A donation that's going to cover all of your bills. Hospital, therapy, prosthesis. Everything."
It takes Raven a while to realize what they just said.
And to accept it.
But after she accepted the fact that, well, maybe there are good people who want to help others -
she smiles.
She smiles her way through the hospital, through therapy and through the process of getting a prosthesis.
She'll probably never run a marathon and always limp a little, but Raven can live with that.
She leaves the hospital with a new leg, two crutches just in case, hugs from her doctors and nurses and a little crush on Doctor Griffin.
◇◇◇
Raven moves into the small flat above her uncle Sinclair's workshop and her cousin Wick drives her to therapy and school and her check ups with Doctor Griffin.
She ends up changing schools, because -
fresh start.
new life.
And she has no friends to leave behind.
She meets Clarke and Octavia on her first day and they hit it off immediately.
Clarke draws designs for a prosthesis that'll look better than the grayish thing Raven puts on every morning until she's fully-grown and gets her new prosthesis.
"How about a pink one?" She asks and Raven glares at her.
"Nah, pink doesn't fit her skin tone." Octavia interrupts. "Maybe.. green?"
"I'm not the Grinch!"
"No you're Shrek", Clarke laughs and Raven throws a fry at her.
"Ouch!"
"If anything I'm Hulk."
Raven realizes that Clarke is Doctor Griffin's daughter when she shows her Clarke's designs for a prosthesis and Abby says:
"Those look a lot like my daughters drawings. I didn't know you could draw."
"I don't. Clarke drew them."
"Clarke?"
"My friend from school."
And then it all falls in place and Raven thinks that -
nope
she seriously shouldn't have a crush on her doctor -
who's also her friends Mom.
So they bond over the fact that Raven is friends with her doctors daughter and Raven only thinks once -
maybe twice -
that Abby Griffin might after all still be an angel.
Clarke and Octavia adopt Raven into their friend circle. Raven meets Bellamy, Octavia's brother who already graduated but loves spending time with his sister. She meets Monty and Jasper and the three of them spend hours talking about computers and programming and blowing up stuff.
At one point Clarke invites her and Octavia back to her place and somehow it isn't weird to see Doctor Griffin -
"Abby."
- in jeans and a faded blue shirt making Lasagna in the kitchen.
It's nice.
And Raven is -
happy.
She's happy at her new school, she's one of the best students and in several clubs.
She's happy to have found friends, friends who love her and accept her and laugh at her inappropriate jokes.
She's happy to live on her own, to work, to earn her own money.
She's happy.
Clarke insists on throwing her a birthday party, because -
"Sweet little sixteen, Reyes!"
- and they end up eating cake and playing games at Clarke's house.
All her new friends are there, Octavia, Bellamy, Monty, Jasper, Finn, who according to Octavia has a big crush on her, Harper from her Spanish class who Monty has a crush on, and a few others.
There's also Abby and Jake, Clarke's Dad, who apparently divorced Abby when Clarke was thirteen and is now dating Abby's best friend Callie, who turns out to be Doctor Cartwig. Doctor Cartwig's ex Marcus is there as well because he's Jake's best friend and has a crush on Abby.
Raven's a little bit confused but they all shower her with love and she's just so -
happy.
She starts dating Finn two months later.
She doesn't know if she's in love with him but he's sweet and kind and cute.
So she just goes for it and even though she doesn't feel butterflies in her stomach when he kisses her she's happy.
She still spends most of her time with Clarke and Octavia.
Sometimes they sit in Clarke's backyard, Clarke painting something, Octavia juggling a soccer ball and Raven tinkering with whatever she gets her hands on.
Clarke drags her to Octavia's soccer games and Raven soon becomes the teams number one fan.
Octavia paints Clarke's nails when they visit Raven at the workshop, rolling under cars and getting dirty.
Often Finn's there as well.
He knows nothing about sports or engineering or anything Raven is interested in really, but he's so sweet and romantic and he takes her out on dates and she meets his family -
ignoring their looks
lingering on her leg -
and she's -
happy.
"So, how's Finn in bed?" Octavia asks one day and Raven shakes her head with a laugh. "Come on, Reyes, tell us!"
So Raven tells them how gentle Finn is, how good and careful and how he takes care of her.
They both grin at her and she mumbles
"Virgins."
and throws a dirty rag at them.
Raven's a junior, Clarke's a sophomore and Octavia a freshman and even though they don't share any classes they've become best friends.
Raven's invited to both of their houses for dinner every week and she gets along with both Abby and Aurora very well. Once a month they all try to eat dinner together at one of their houses and Callie and Jake are there as well, sometimes Marcus too.
Raven is suspicious of Marcus, maybe because he's into Abby -
she just thinks that Abby deserves better!
- or maybe because he's a professor for politics and politics are stupid.
Raven loves hanging out with Jake though. He's a professor for engineering and when they realize that Jake and her uncle Sinclair went to school together and that Raven's interested in studying engineering, they talk until someone drags one of them away from the other.
She sees both Abby and Callie as friends now instead of the doctors who gave her a new leg and she feels like they're all a weird big family.
Clarke insists on watching a movie after dinner every time Raven and Octavia are at her house on friday nights. Raven cannot help but roll her eyes at the movies they watch - Mean Girls, The Princess Diaries and the one with Heath Ledger she doesn't remember the title of.
Abby disappears into her room after dinner because -
"I don't know where Clarke gets her taste in movies from, but certainly not from me."
Raven wants to include Abby though -
because, she just wants to be nice and
Abby shouldn't feel left out
right? -
so every now and then she convinces Clarke to play games instead and Abby teams up with Raven at charades with a smile.
◇◇◇
Raven goes through her whole junior year with Finn by her side and her friends and their family there for her. She spends her birthday at Clarke's again and Christmas with Finn's family and not once does she miss her mother or the live she once had.
Raven gets ready for senior prom at Clarke's house and Abby hugs her tight and says -
"Call me if you need anything."
- and presses a kiss to her cheek.
Raven's face doesn't burn after that -
not at all -
and she clings to Finn the whole night.
She takes silly pictures with her friends and dances with them as much as possible. Her feet hurt from dancing and her face from smiling and her stomach from laughing and -
then she sees them.
Sees Finn with another girl -
Lola?
Mona?
Kristen?
She has no idea who she is or why Finn has his tongue down her throat, but next thing she knows she's over there and -
Finn's cheek is red from the slap of her hand -
and then Raven's outside and she does the only thing she can think of -
"Abby? Can you please come pick me up?"
Abby is there in less than 15 minutes and wraps Raven into a warm embrace before helping her into the car.
They drive in silence and Raven is thankful that Abby doesn't ask what happened.
She doesn't cry.
He's not worth it.
Abby helps her into the house and somehow Clarke and Octavia are already waiting for her.
She falls asleep sandwiched between her two friends and even though she just slapped her boyfriend -
ex-boyfriend -
she's, maybe not happy, but -
okay.
She wakes up first and puts on some of Clarke's clothes before tiptoeing into the kitchen.
The sight that greets her is one Raven won't ever forget.
Abby is dancing through the kitchen in a dark green dressing gown that ends above her knees, spatula in one hand, the other one moving with the music. Her long hair flows around her shoulders in waves and it's the first time Raven sees her without a braid.
"And I've tried and I've tried
But I haven't yet
You walk by and I fall to pieces."
Abby sings along and Raven can't help the chuckle that escapes her throat.
The spatula lands on the floor and Abby whirls around, hand on her chest and -
"Oh my god, Raven! You scared the shit out of me!"
Raven raises one eyebrow and laughs.
"Sorry, Doc. Didn't want to interrupt your, uhm.." She gesticulates around the kitchen and Abby shakes her head with a blush.
"Sorry. I hope I didn't wake you?"
"Nah." Raven picks the spatula up and rinses it under the sink. "Couldn't sleep anymore. So.. Patsy Cline, huh?"
Abby looks surprised. "You know Patsy Cline?"
Raven nods. "Only thing my mother taught me."
Abby's face falls and she touches Raven's arm. "I'm sorry, Raven."
"Don't be", Raven shrugs. "I stopped caring about her the minute I woke up in the hospital." She puts one hand onto Abby's shoulder. "Don't look so sad, Abby. I may not have a Mom and a Dad, but Sinclair and Wick are pretty awesome as family. I'm happy."
"Raven-"
"Seriously, Doc, don't give me that look. I have a roof over my head, a job, I'm going to graduate and go to college, I have an awesome left leg that can literally kick ass." Raven's eyes widen. "Oh I should have kicked Finn's ass."
Stupid Finn.
"Finn?" Abby blinks, confused and Raven remembers that Abby has no idea what happened the day before.
"Oh. Yeah. I, uh, caught him deep throating some chick with his tongue."
"I'm- uh, sorry, Raven."
"Whatever", Raven shrugs.
"Hey, it's his loss. You're amazing." Abby says sincerely before turning around to flip the pancakes.
"I- thank you."
No.
No -
Raven tells herself.
"Uh, so what about you and Marcus?"
Abby turns around, eyebrows raised.
"What about me and Marcus?"
"Oh come on. He's so into you."
"He's not."
"Oh please. He has the biggest crush on you."
"Has not."
Raven rolls her eyes. "Abby. Come on."
"Okay, maybe he has a 'crush' on me. So what."
"Do you like him?"
"Raven."
"Oh come on!"
"Of course I like him! He's one of my oldest friends."
"Yes, but do you like like him?"
"Raven."
"Abby."
"He's my friend and that's it."
"You sure? Because it would be so funny if you and Callie just switched husbands. Have you ever had a foursome?"
"Raven!" Abby blushes deep red and Raven can't help but laugh out loud.
"Oh my god, you so have!"
"I will not talk about that with you."
"Why not? Come on, Abby, give me your secrets."
Abby puts a plate with pancakes in front of Raven.
"No. Eat your pancakes."
"Abby!" Raven all but whines and Abby smirks at her.
"I'm not going to talk about my sex life with you."
"Is there one to talk about?"
"Raven!" Abby blushes and slaps Raven's arm.
"Come on, Abby. Clarke and Octavia are both boring-"
"Uh!" Abby holds up a finger. "Please don't make me think about my daughter like that."
"Like what?"
"God, you're a pain in the ass, Raven Reyes."
"But you love me anyway, Doc", Raven says around her pancakes. "'s delicious by the w-"
"What's going on here?"
Raven turns her head and there's Clarke and Octavia on the stairs, looking between her and Abby.
"Just two old friends catching up", Raven says and Clarke shakes her head with a laugh.
"Sure, Reyes. Now give me some of that pancake and then let's talk about how we're going to handle stupid Finn."
Raven rolls her eyes and Abby grins at her.
"Well, it was lovely catching up, Raven. I'm going for a run."
◇◇◇
Raven graduates on top of her class.
There's Wick and Sinclair and Clarke and Octavia and Aurora and Jake and Callie and Abby and when they all hug her afterwards she feels so -
loved.
Jake insists on taking them all out to eat, partly because Raven's going to be his student in a few months and he's probably more excited than herself.
She spends most of the summer before college in the workshop, repairing cars and motorcycles and simple bikes.
Jake meets her for breakfast on her first day and they show up to class together which earns her a few confused looks.
But Raven doesn't care.
She ends up loving it at the University of Polis.
She's Jake's best student, not because they're friends, but because she's -
so good.
She joins him on conventions and he invites her to dinner with him and Callie every few weeks.
Sometimes they get lunch together and every now and then Marcus joins them and Raven starts to warm up to him. She's intimidated when Indra, a history professor, joins them, but when Indra laughs at her stupid jokes she's comfortable again.
Jake and Callie throw a party at the end of the semester and everyone's invited.
Abby and Clarke.
Aurora, Bellamy and Octavia.
Marcus.
Indra and her daughter Lexa and her son Roan.
He even invited Sinclair and Wick and of course Raven.
Clarke and Octavia grab Raven's arms five minutes into the party because -
"You've been spending way too much time with my Dad. We've missed you. No grown up talk we don't understand today."
So Raven spends her time with her two best friends and she realizes how much she actually missed them since college started.
It's hours later when Jake clears his throat and asks everyone to join him for a toast.
"Thank you guys for coming. I, uh, Callie and I, we-"
"Oh my god you guys are getting married!" Abby exclaims and points at Callie's finger.
Whatever Jake says next gets lost in the screams and laughter and hugs and then he simply raises his glass, looks around at everyone and says -
"Here's to family."
"To family."
◇◇◇
Raven finds new friends, like Murphy, who's kind of an ass, but also loyal and sweet or Miller, who's the cutest human ever and his boyfriend Jackson. Then there's Luna, who turns out to be Indra's niece and Anya, who's an old friend of Luna and several years older than them, but she owns a bar and Luna drags everyone out there once a week.
Raven has never really thought about her sexuality and since she ended things with Finn she didn't date anyone.
But Anya's hot -
so hot -
and clearly interested.
So when Anya kisses her one night after everyone left Raven kisses her back.
Sex with Anya is so much better than sex with Finn.
Neither of them want a relationship and they are hardly friends, so when Clarke and Octavia ask her, Raven tells them they're -
"Fuck buddies."
And that's it.
◇◇◇
Raven works at the workshop and studies for her exams and when she gets a text message from Abby -
"Raven, I'd love it if you'd join us for dinner on Friday again. Abby"
- she realizes how much she missed the older woman and how they haven't had dinner together in almost four months.
Dinner with Abby and Clarke -
and of course Octavia -
never gets old.
"I've missed you, Doc", Raven tells her when they're washing the dishes and Abby smiles at her.
"I missed you too, Raven."
She promises to be there for dinner on Friday at least once a month and Raven Reyes doesn't break promises.
She still has dinner with Jake and Callie every other week and meets with Clarke and Octavia at least once a week, even if it's just for a quick coffee.
Luna drags her to Anya's bar and sometimes they're joined by Lexa, who Raven learns is kind of Anya's sister, because Lexa is adopted and they were in the system together but Anya was too old so she didn't get adopted but Indra still treats her like a daughter. It's weird and confusing but Raven doesn't mind weird and confusing at all.
Raven also learns that Clarke and Lexa exchanged numbers at Jake's and Callie's party and she teases her best friend endlessly for her crush on Lexa.
She spends the summer at the workshop and goes to the beach for a week with all her friends and she's gotten so good at ignoring other people staring at her that she doesn't even notice them anymore.
She isn't bothered by her leg.
Sometimes it hurts -
sometimes so bad she could cry -
but she's full of muscles all around and according to Abby and Callie having muscles, being strong is the best she can do.
◇◇◇
Raven goes back to college and so does Clarke.
Raven knows nothing about art history, but she wants to show her around nonetheless.
She shows her the library where they run into Lexa and Raven quietly turns around with a smile, leaving them alone.
More friends from high school join them at UPol, Monty in engineering and Jasper in biochemistry.
All her different friends get along well and sometimes they're more than 15 people piling into Anya's bar.
"The Dropship is the weirdest name for a bar", Jasper announces on his first night there.
Anya refuses to serve him anything for the rest of the night and whenever she sees someone giving him something from their drink she stops serving them as well.
Clarke thinks it's evil.
Raven thinks it's hot.
◇◇◇
At dinner one day Jake tells her that he and Callie decided to have the wedding at the end of summer the year after the next. Because -
"Marcus is in Africa for over a year and I want him to be my best man. I can't do it without him."
Raven wonders if it's going to be weird for Callie to have her ex husband standing right beside her husband to be, but then she says -
"Abby's going to be my maid of honor."
And Raven thinks it's the funniest thing ever.
◇◇◇
Raven sticks to dinner dates with Jake and Callie and with Clarke and Octavia at Abby's house, sometimes joined by Aurora and Bellamy.
She spends Christmas with all of them - she gets invited to the Griffin's, the Blake's and even to Jake and Callie. Sinclair and Wick have never been the biggest holiday fans so all they do is eat pizza and watch Speed -
which isn't a Christmas movie at all, but it's tradition -
and afterwards she goes to her friends houses to eat even more.
◇◇◇
Clarke and Lexa start dating at the end of March and Octavia can't stop laughing when she finds out that they're pretty much making out with sisters.
"You know, I think Roan's still single." Clarke says with a laugh but Octavia makes a face.
"I know they have a cousin. Luna's brother. So if you wanna join the Woods clan, he's your man." Raven adds and Octavia throws a pillow at her face.
Clarke dating Lexa means that she spends more time at Lexa's place and even though Lexa occasionally joins them for Friday night dinners, Clarke's missing often.
Octavia has no time because it's her senior year and she wants to follow in Clarke and Raven's footsteps and graduate on top.
When Abby texts her, saying
If you don't want to have dinner tomorrow with boring old me that's okay. I won't be mad.
she doesn't think twice.
She shows up at Abby's doorstep at 6.30 with flowers in her hand and the blush on Abby's face is so worth it.
"I wouldn't miss it." Raven tells her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I love spending time with you, Doc."
Raven can't remember the last time she's been alone with Abby for more than a few minutes and being with her now reminds her of her time in the hospital, where Abby would drop by every day at least once to check on her and to chat.
It also reminds her of her crush.
That stupid -
stupid -
crush she thought she had under control.
And she had!
Had it under control.
But Abby has her hair down like on the morning after senior prom and Raven thinks that she's -
so beautiful.
She shakes her head and thinks about Anya, who she doesn't love but who's good in bed and makes her forget about whatever crush she has.
Abby asks her about school and the workshop and her friends and tells her about work and Clarke and being Callie's maid of honor.
"Do you think Marcus left the country because you wouldn't go out with him?" Raven suddenly asks and Abby can't stop laughing.
Raven brings up the movies Clarke made them watch after dinner and that she doesn't miss them at all.
"I miss watching movies though. I hardly have the time now."
"Do you want to watch one now?"
Abby asks and Raven says
"I'd love to. As long as it's not Mean Girls."
Turns out that Abby is into old movies.
When Raven admits that she's never seen a movie in black and white Abby decides that they're going to watch one after every dinner now.
So Abby introduces Raven to classics like Casablanca or Bringing Up Baby and the more Raven watches the joy and glee on Abby's face the more she seems to fall for her.
Raven has more dinners with only Abby than she has with anyone else.
She calls Anya every time after leaving the house.
◇◇◇
Raven turns 20 at the end of summer break and Sinclair insists on throwing her a big party with all her friends there in the backyard of the workshop.
Abby gives her a necklace as a present with a pendant in the shape of a raven.
It's big
edgy
sharp
and Raven loves it immediately.
She opens other presents and thanks everyone, but her fingers keep touching her necklace with a smile.
Octavia goes to UPol with a soccer scholarship and even gets called up to the U20 national team. She's training harder than ever and only goes out with them after they promise to have her home by 10.
Anya introduces them to Lincoln, Luna's brother, that night and Octavia ends up not going home at all.
The good thing is, Lincoln is a fire fighter and works at a gym as a volunteer trainer and -
he's perfect for Octavia.
The two of them and Lexa and Clarke start going on double dates and sometimes Raven joins them but mostly it feels too weird, so she just ends up calling Anya or hanging out with Monty and Jasper to blow something up or build something together.
She starts working on a project with Jake as his assistant and spends most of her time with him now.
One day he says -
"I like to think that we are friends, Raven."
- and Raven stares at him.
"I, sure, we're friends, Jake."
"Cool. So, uh, as your friend, you know, from friend to friend-"
"Oh my god, spill it."
"Will you be bringing someone to the wedding?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Jake, the wedding's in like over a year. I have no idea. I haven't even gotten an invitation yet. Do you need to know that like now?"
Jake blushes and shakes his head. "Uh, no, it's okay-"
"Oh my god!" Raven laughs. "You just wanted to know if I'm dating someone!"
"No-"
"Oh admit it. It's okay, we're friends and friends talk about stuff like that. And, I mean, sure, usually I'd talk with Clarke, but why not with you? So what do you wanna know, Papa Griffin?"
"Papa Griffin? Seriously, Raven?" Jake laughs and Raven grins at him.
"I'm not dating anybody." Raven admits.
"Really? I've heard rumours about you and Indra's kind of daughter-"
"Anya and I aren't dating! Who told you that?" Raven asks with a groan.
"You aren't? Clarke said-"
"Oh stupid Griffin", Raven grumbles. "Sorry. Whatever Clarke said isn't true. Anya and I are just friends. She's fun. We're, you know, having fun together."
"You know, I just want you to be happy, Raven."
"I am happy!"
"Well, yes, but.. don't you want to fall in love? I'm sorry, it's just, Clarke has Lexa and Octavia has Lincoln and I've heard Bellamy has a new girlfriend and I was just wondering about you. And if you liked somebody."
Raven smiles at him, somehow touched.
"Even if I did like somebody, if they don't like me back, what's the sense in it?"
Jake just stares at her, not sure what to say.
"Don't worry, Big Griff. I'm happy."
And certainly not thinking about your ex wife right now.
◇◇◇
Being twenty doesn't change anything for Raven.
The only thing that does change is that she doesn't feel so bad anymore for having a crush on Abby.
Because she's in her twenties -
and Abby is almost fourty.
And that's like only a ten year difference.
Raven knows that she can't have a crush on her best friends Mom.
That she shouldn't .
It probably goes against every bro code ever.
But then Raven is back at Abby's house for dinner on Friday and they're alone -
again -
and Abby suggests instead of cooking they watch a movie and order pizza.
So they share a pizza and a blanket and their thighs touch and Raven has no idea what the movie even is about. Because with every movie it got harder to just sit next to each other and -
who can focus on a movie when they have Abby Griffin sitting next to them in sweatpants and a wide top, with her hair open and her eyes bright and -
no.
No.
She knows it's bad when she doesn't call Anya afterwards, instead she goes home and gets herself off on her own.
◇◇◇
Because there's so many people she loves in her life now she decides on a routine.
The first Friday of each month belongs to Abby.
The second to Clarke and Octavia (and Lexa and Lincoln).
The third to whoever has time and wants to do something.
The fourth to Jake and Callie.
Raven still goes to Anya's bar with Luna, Murphy, Miller and the others, but she stops going home with Anya.
It's probably for the best, because Anya seems pretty into the new girl she hired -
Echo.
They're still friends though and have just as much fun.
Raven's working hard with Jake and they get invited to present their project for life in space at a science convention.
She's nervous.
Her fingers play with the raven hanging from her neck until Jake grabs her hand.
"Stop it. You got this, Raven. Don't worry so much. And stop playing with that thing, you're going to hurt yourself."
Everything runs smoothly and Jake buys her a beer afterwards -
Don't tell anyone.
◇◇◇
Octavia has a U20 game in town one day and the whole gang dresses up and paints their cheeks and Raven is screaming between Abby and Clarke and when Octavia scores her first international goal she gets sandwiched between the Griffin women.
At the beginning of summer break Raven finds an old light blue Volvo Amazon in front of the workshop and she's immediately in love.
"Sinclair, who's car is that? I love it." She puts her chest onto the hood and tries to hug it. "I want to have its babies. I want to marry it."
"It's yours", Sinclair tells her with a smile and Raven falls from the hood and onto the ground.
"What?"
"It's yours." Sinclair repeats and Raven stares between him and the car. "It's not perfect, it needs a new engine and a few things need to-"
He stops and smiles at her.
"It's your birthday present. I figured you'd have more time now to get your hands dirty. Do you like it? You only turn 21 once and I wanted to show you how much I love you. You know, my sister, she, your mother, she made a lot of mistakes - too many - but I'm so grateful she gave me you. You're like a daughter to me, Ra-"
Raven tumbles into his arms and buries her face into his neck.
"Thank you, Sinclair." She mumbles with tears in her eyes. "It's perfect. I love it. I love you. Thank you."
So Raven spends the summer in the workshop, playing with her new car. Her friends drop by almost every day so it takes her weeks until she's finally finished.
It's the third Friday and Raven has nothing planned, so she feels brave and grabs her phone and sends a quick text -
Would you like to go to the movies with me today? -
and three minutes later she gets an answer -
I'd love to.
She puts on light gray pants and a dark long sleeved shirt and hops into her car -
her car.
She knocks on the door and Abby opens immediately -
eyes wide and face flushed.
"You look, wow, gorgeous." She says and Raven blushes herself.
"So do you."
Raven takes in the yellow summer dress and leads her to the car.
"Holy shit, Raven, what is that?!"
Raven chuckles and opens the passenger door.
"That's my new car. Her name's Abigail."
Abby blushes even harder and bites her lip, looking down.
Raven gets into the driver's seat and turns on the radio.
"Patsy Cline?" Abby asks with a laugh and Raven just shrugs with a smile.
"It reminds me of you now", Raven admits, "and I thought it fits the car."
"It certainly does. What movie are we watching?"
"I have no idea", Raven says and Abby shakes her head with a chuckle, "We'll find out once it starts."
They end up at a drive-in cinema.
Abby buys them popcorn and drinks and they settle into their seats, making small talk until the movie starts.
A few minutes into it they realize what exactly they are watching.
Raven doesn't know if she wants to laugh or cry.
The Graduate
It's probably not the best movie to watch with a woman twice your age who you have a crush on.
But Abby says -
"Oh my god I love that movie!"
- because of course she does -
and beams at Raven and okay -
maybe it isn't weird.
Raven really wants to pay attention to Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft, but all she notices is -
Abby's parfum.
Abby's laugh.
Abby's fingers brushing hers when they both grab popcorn at the same time.
Once they leave Abby keeps singing Mrs Robinson and Raven thinks that maybe it would have been better if they had gone to the movies and watched Inside Out or Mission Impossible.
When Raven drops Abby off at her house she stays in the drivers seat.
"Thanks for tonight", she says and smiles at Abby without looking at her. "I had fun."
"So did I."
Raven feels Abby's hand on her thigh and sucks in a breath.
"Good night, Raven."
Abby presses a kiss to her cheek and gets out off the car with one last glance at Raven who just stares at the now empty seat beside her for five minutes.
Raven knows she has it bad when Octavia asks her about her "stupid lovesick grin" the next day at lunch.
"Are you seeing someone?"
"No."
"Is it Anya?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Anya's with Echo."
"Then who is it?"
"No one."
"Raven."
"Octavia. I'm not seeing anybody. Drop it, okay?"
Octavia rolls her eyes but drops the topic.
◇◇◇
Raven doesn't see her friends or Abby for several weeks because she has so much to do, so much to study and Jake and her spend hours together working on their project, so there's no time for anyone else.
Jake invites her and Sinclair and Wick for Thanksgiving and when they get there Raven should have known that everybody else would be there as well.
Of course.
Because they're one big weird patchwork family.
Raven ends up sandwiched between Wick and Lexa and opposite Abby and she has a hard time concentrating on anything.
She feels like Abby is getting more and more breathtaking each time she sees her.
And with her dark green dress -
and the cleavage.
Raven feels bad for staring.
So bad.
But she can't help herself when Abby is right in front of her and keeps smiling at her and -
god.
She's so beautiful
Raven thinks.
"Raven. Raven."
There's someone nudging her arm and she shakes her head, refocusing.
"Wha- What?"
"Indra asked about the project you're working on with Dad", Clarke explains and Raven tries to focus on Indra.
She feels Abby smirking at her and blushes.
Later, Raven is about to leave when Abby grabs her hand -
"Dinner next Friday. Please come? Clarke and Octavia will be there as well."
Raven nods.
"Okay."
And starts mentally preparing for spending time with Abby again.
It's easier with Clarke and Octavia there.
Everything is easier with other people there so Raven tries everything to not be alone with Abby.
Because her crush -
it's getting out of hand.
◇◇◇
On Valentine's Day Anya hosts a special party at her bar and Raven almost gags when she sees couples everywhere she looks.
She can't even complain to Octavia or Clarke.
Even Murphy has a girlfriend now.
Raven spots Jake, Callie and Abby and makes her way over to them.
At least they won't have their tongues down each others throats the whole time.
"Raven, you all alone?"
Jake asks and Raven groans.
"I hate you, Papa Griffin."
"Papa Griffin?" Abby asks with a laugh.
It's Jake's turn to groan now. "I hate you, Reyes."
"So, does that make me Mama Griffin?" Abby asks with one eyebrow raised.
Raven almost chokes on her drink.
"Uh, no, you're, uh, you're Doctor Griffin."
Smooth, Reyes, smooth
"Oh come on, I'm a doctor too!" Jake exclaims, but Raven just shrugs.
Turns out, drinking with people twice your age is the best thing ever.
The more they drink the looser they get and the more secrets they spill.
"So.." Raven starts with a grin and she feels pretty intoxicated herself.
"Oh no." Jake's eyes widen. "I know that look."
"So, Jake. Callie." Raven looks at them intently. "Did you ever have a threesome with Abby?"
"Oh my god, Raven!" Abby nearly spits out her drink and both Callie and Jake start choking on theirs.
"What? I wanna know! You never answered me."
"I- you- oh my god."
"Did we, uh", Jake starts, "did we have a, a threesome, well.."
"No." Callie states.
"But-"
"No, Jake. We didn't have a threesome."
"But we-"
"Jake." Abby puts her hand onto his. "Think. We did not have a threesome."
"Wha-" Jake's eyes widen. "Oh, you're right. Nope. No, Raven, we did not have a threesome."
Raven narrows her eyes at him. "You're lying."
"Nope." He shakes his head.
Raven keeps staring at him and Jake keeps refusing to look at her.
"Oh my god!" Raven suddenly exclaims. "Oh my god. You so had a foursome with Marcus. Oh. My. God."
Their red faces tell Raven everything she needs to know.
"Oh my god, that's amazing."
Abby puts her face into her hands.
"Raven, can we please not-"
"Hey, Reyes!" She gets interrupted by Clarke who's trying to take Raven's hand and pull her onto the dance floor.
"Yo, Baby Griff. Did you know your parents-"
There's a hand on her mouth keeping her from talking.
"My parents what?"
"Your parents nothing." Abby says, hand still pressed against Raven's mouth. "Right, Raven?"
"Hmmppff."
"See, honey? Raven's just drunk. She better stay here so we can take care of her.
"Yeah, cause we're doctors." Jake adds.
"You're a doctor in engineering, Dad."
Jake just shrugs.
Clarke shakes her head and turns back to dance with Lexa.
"Oh my, I love you, Raven Reyes." Callie says with a laugh. "But I don't think Clarke wants to think about her parents having sex with anyone."
Raven grabs Abby's hand and gently pulls it away from her mouth into her lap.
"Well, y'all are gorgeous, so it's not that bad."
Raven drops the topic because with Abby's fingers so close to her lips she realised she didn't want to think about her with anyone else.
Abby doesn't let go of Raven's hand.
Raven doesn't say anything.
They stop drinking and Jake and Callie say goodbye half an hour later and then Raven's left with Abby at the table.
Raven's drunk enough to know what she's doing.
But not sober enough to know when to not do something.
Abby has been looking at her for a while now and Raven can't help but feel naked under her gaze.
So she looks down at her lap -
at their tangled fingers.
And how did that even happen?
"Raven, I-"
"Do you want to get out of here?" Raven interrupts.
"What?"
"I'm hungry. I want some fries. And Anya doesn't have anything but peanuts. There's a diner down the road. Let's grab something to eat and then we can both go home. What do you say?"
Turns out, fries are exactly what they both needed.
They sit opposite from each other with their feet propped on the benches.
Raven's hand dropped to Abby's leg and she keeps absent-mindedly running her fingers up and down.
Abby smiles at her and Raven feels naked again.
What is she doing with me?
It takes her a few tries but then Abby asks:
"Why did you come alone tonight? Why didn't you, you know, bring a, a date?"
Raven looks at her and -
is she blushing?
Usually confident Abby is blushing and looking down at the last fries in front of Raven and -
she's nervous.
Why is she nervous?
"I, uh.. why do you wanna know?" Raven asks, grabbing a fry.
Abby shrugs.
"Just wondering why you're not dating anyone."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you wondering?"
Abby finally lifts her gaze and looks back at Raven.
"You're gorgeous. I just don't get why you're single. People must be lining up to be with you."
Her eyes drop to the plate again and Raven stares at her.
"Maybe.. maybe not the right people."
Raven ends up being hungover the next day.
She still remembers everything.
She thinks about every interaction with Abby for days until Jake finally interrupts her thoughts while they're having a lunch break on campus.
"What's going on with you, Raven?"
"Nothing's going on."
"Raven. I've known you for years now. Something's going on."
He puts a hand on her shoulder.
"You can tell me if something's bothering you."
Raven sighs and takes a bite from her wrap.
"I.. I like someone."
"Okay."
"And it's- it's.. god, it's hard. It's- she's- she's gorgeous."
"Then where's the problem?"
The problem is that she's your exwife and my best friends mom and twice my age and not interested in me -
"It's complicated."
"Does she like you back?"
"No.. I don't know.. I dont think so."
"Why don't you ask her?"
Why don't you ask her
"I can't lose her."
◇◇◇
The first time Raven is alone with Abby again is at dinner several weeks later.
Raven doesn't know what to say or do or how to behave around Abby.
But somehow it isn't weird.
Because being with Abby feels -
right.
Raven realizes that she missed being alone with Abby and for a second she wonders why she tried to not be alone with her.
Then she remembers.
Stupid crush.
It's warm enough to sit on the back porch after dinner and they drink red wine and talk about Abby's job and Raven's work for NASA and politics and sports and the world and -
Raven loves it.
She loves spending time with Abby so she tries to ignore -
her heart beating faster when she's around her.
◇◇◇
Clarke decides to have a pool party on 4th of July.
Abby offers to host it at her house.
That's how Raven finds herself taking red, white and blue bodyshots from Octavia and Harper.
She doesn't mind -
they're her friends and she never had a problem with being touchy.
But taking an orange slice from Harper's lips isn't really what she wants.
Especially when she first sees Abby walking out of the house in a star spangled bikini that leaves little to her imagination.
Abby catches her eyes and waves at her and Raven feels hot all over.
"Oh sweet Jesus." She mumbles and takes another swig from her beer, trying not to stare at Abby.
It's hard though because Abby seems to be everywhere she looks.
And whenever she stares at Abby -
Abby stares back at her.
Smirking.
"Raven, come take a bodyshot off me."
Octavia interrupts her thoughts and drags her back to the table.
"Again? Can't get enough of my tongue on you?"
Octavia honest to God blushes and Raven groans.
"Are you in your bisexual drunk stage already, O?"
"Oh yes." Lincoln grumbles from behind her and shakes his head with a soft laugh.
Raven catches Abby's eyes on her and -
for whatever reason -
she doesn't look away.
Raven licks the salt off Octavia's collarbone, sips the tequila from her belly button and grabs the orange slice from her lips with hers.
And never do her eyes leave Abby's.
She sees Abby's eyes widen and then she shakes her head and turns around, walks back inside and Raven sits up again.
"You satisfied now, O? Ask Clarke or Lexa next time you need some tongue on you. Or Lincoln, you know. Your boyfriend."
She winks at them and wipes her mouth on the back of her hand and then she's on her way into the house.
Liquid courage
She tells herself.
She finds Abby bent over the kitchen sink and curses herself for looking her up and down.
"Hey."
Abby startles and whips around.
"Raven. What are you doing in here?"
Raven shrugs.
"Just checking on you."
Raven takes a few steps closer and leans against the counter next to Abby.
"You seemed to rush inside and I wanted to make sure you're okay."
"You- I- I didn't think you'd notice me leaving."
Abby blushes her hair behind her ears and stares down at her feet.
"You seemed pretty preoccupied."
Raven tries not to smile.
"I notice everything about you, Abby."
"You do?"
Abby looks up at her and Raven swears she could get lost in Abby's eyes.
"Of course I do."
It's quiet for a while until Abby says:
"I've never taken a bodyshot."
"You, what, you- you've had a foursome, but- but no bodyshots?"
Abby blushes.
Hard.
"N-No. No."
"Okay, we need to change that."
Raven grabs Abby's hand without thinking and tries to drag her outside, but Abby stops her.
"What are you- Raven! I'm not taking a bodyshot in front of my daughter."
Raven's face falls for a second but then she gets -
an idea.
A very, very bad idea.
But an idea.
"Meet me upstairs in your room, I'll be there in two minutes."
In a moment of bravery Raven presses a kiss to Abby's cheek and before she can say anything she's in the backyard looking for what she needs.
She grabs the salt, the tequila and a few orange slices and heads back inside without anyone sparing her a second look.
She almost sprints up the stairs, taking two at a time.
I'm just showing her how to take a bodyshot
Raven thinks -
Completely normal.
She stops in front of Abby's room and knocks on the door. There's a soft
"Come in."
and Raven opens the door, closing it behind her with her foot.
Abby's sitting on the edge of her bed, hands in her lap, nervously rubbing her thighs.
"Uh.."
Raven just -
stares.
Because Abby is -
beautiful.
So, so beautiful.
And Raven realises that this was a bad idea -
a very bad idea.
But she's here and Abby is looking at her and -
"Hi."
Raven could facepalm herself, but Abby grins and bites her bottom lip and says -
"Hi."
They stare at each other for several long moments until Raven takes a deep breath and a few steps forward.
"So.. I brought tequila, salt and orange slices."
"No lemon slices?"
"Nah, Clarke prefers oranges. So does the rest of us."
Raven sits down next to Abby.
"So, do you.. do you want to be the one taking the bodyshot, like, do you want to be the active part or like the passive one?"
"Uhm", Abby stares at the bottle of tequila and shrugs. "Both, I guess? But, uh, show me first."
Raven nods.
"Okay, then, lay down on your back."
Abby's face is flushed as she lays back and she keeps biting her lip, watching Raven's every move.
Raven gulps and stands next to Abby, avoiding her gaze.
"Okay, so, I'll put salt on your collarbone, I- I have to lick, uh, lick it first though, so the salt doesn't end up.. elsewhere. Then I'll put the tequila into your, uh, belly button and the orange into your mouth. And, uh, then I'll.. do the bodyshot."
Raven lifts her head and meets Abby's way too dark eyes.
"Is, is that okay?"
"Yes."
Abby nods her head.
Raven's hands are shaky, but she grabs the salt and leans down.
She licks a long stripe along Abby's collarbone, from the middle up, and her cheek nudges Abby's face. Then she sprinkles the salt there and leans back again.
Abby's stomach muscles contract at Raven's touch and the tequila spills over, running down her sides.
Abby takes the orange slice and puts it between her lips and then -
Raven dives in.
She braces herself on both sides of Abby and licks the salt from her body, trying to get every single bit of it. She feels Abby tremble beneath her when she slides down and drinks the tequila, sliding her tongue around to reach every drop. Raven tries not to think about anything, but being so close to Abby -
it's -
everything.
She stares into Abby's eyes as she lowers herself down to take the orange from her lips. Raven can't take the look in Abby's eyes so she closes her eyes and quickly grabs the orange, careful to not touch Abby's lips with hers.
When she's standing again, eyes open, she looks down at Abby who's staring at her with wide eyes and her mouth open.
"My turn."
Abby whispers and with that she sits up and pushes Raven down onto the bed.
Raven thinks -
God, what am I doing
as she's leaning back on Abby's bed.
Abby stares down at her and then suddenly she takes a sip straight from the tequila bottle.
Raven chuckles and grins at her.
"Nervous?"
Abby rolls her eyes.
"Oh, you hush."
With that she -
straddles!
- fucking straddles Raven,
her knees
on both sides
of Raven's hips.
And Raven hasn't even time to think because Abby's leaning down -
down -
her chest pressed against Raven's and then she's licking along her collarbone and -
fuck
Raven thinks.
Because this is the hottest thing that's ever happened to her.
And it's Abby -
Abby -
on top of her.
She feels the salt and then there's the orange in her mouth and Abby moving down her body and tequila on her stomach.
Then Abby's back, licking the salt and up Raven's neck and -
Raven wants to moan -
because fuck -
it feels amazing.
And then Abby's tongue is on her stomach and -
fuck
it feels amazing.
She feels Abby's hand on the side of her body and then Abby's face is in front of hers and -
fuck fuck fuck.
Abby's lips graze hers as she takes the orange between her lips and its sends heat like a lighting through Raven's body.
She sits back on Raven's thighs and sucks on the orange before tossing it aside.
Raven's hands find their way to Abby's hips and when Abby shifts on top of her Raven can't help but moan.
"Sorry", she mumbles and closes her eyes.
"Don't be."
Raven puts her hands against her eyes and tries to calm herself down.
She's too close
But somehow -
not close enough.
"Raven."
Abby's hands are on hers and she pries them away.
"Open your eyes."
So Raven does -
she opens her eyes and Abby is -
so close.
And so beautiful.
And her eyes are so dark.
They just stare at each other and Raven feels hot all over.
Abby puts Raven's hands back against her hips and -
it's so much skin.
Raven really, really wants to say something -
do something -
she wants to kiss her -
but -
"Abby! Abby! Where are you?"
Abby groans and Raven sighs and -
"Abby! Octavia cut herself, I think she needs stitches!"
Jake's voice is loud in the hallway and coming closer. Abby sighs and stands and Raven sits up next to her.
"Better save her, right?"
Raven says quietly and Abby nods.
She leaves the room, but not after smiling at Raven and -
she's screwed.
Raven waits a few minutes and then she grabs her stuff and heads back outside.
Turns out, Octavia only needed a band-aid and Raven wants to grab Abby and pull her back inside to continue -
whatever just happened.
But Octavia hugs her tight and doesn't let go and -
she's so drunk.
So Raven is a good friend and stays with her and helps Lincoln sober her up because -
she shouldn't even be drinking.
Raven ends up taking them both home and she has no chance to talk to Abby again.
She spends days contemplating if she should text Abby or call her, but she's -
scared.
So she spends every day in the workshop, trying to -
what is she even trying?
◇◇◇
Then suddenly it's August and time for Jake's and Callie's wedding and they invite everybody for a pre-wedding-dinner which is actually a welcome-back-Marcus party.
Marcus, who's back from Africa in time and -
so sexy.
His hair is longer and his beard is full and a mix of dark and grey and -
"Since when is Kane so sexy?"
Octavia asks and Raven shrugs, because she has no idea.
And she hates how he looks now -
how sexy he became -
because he keeps talking to Abby and Raven is -
jealous.
Which she has no right to be.
But she can't help it.
She spends the days leading up to the wedding in a bad mood, but then Octavia tells her -
"So Kane asked my mother to be his date for the wedding."
- and Raven thinks
what the fuck
and is a tiny bit happier.
Raven, Clarke and Octavia get dressed together and they get picked up by Lincoln and Lexa for their ride to the venue.
It's beautiful.
It's warm.
It's perfect.
They pile into one row together halfway down the aisle and watch the other people around them until the music starts.
Everyone turns their heads and watches Abby and Marcus walk down the aisle together and Raven is -
speechless.
"Damn, your Mom looks good."
Raven hears Octavia mumble and Clarke groans.
But she's right -
so right.
Abby's dress is midnight blue and her hair falls in waves around her shoulders and -
damn.
Raven can't stop staring and then Abby smiles at her, her eyes lighting up and -
Raven doesn't even notice Jake coming in and then Callie.
"She's so beautiful."
She hears Clarke say and Raven nods her head, because -
yes
she's so beautiful.
It takes her a moment to realize that Clarke probably didn't mean her own mother.
They're all crying and Abby and Marcus are crying and Jake and Callie are crying and everyone gathers in the restrooms afterwards to reapply makeup and wipe away tears.
After their first dance Jake dances with his mother and Callie with her Dad. Then Jake gets Clarke and Callie her brother. The rest started to join in and Clarke is back to dance with Lexa.
Raven leans back and lets her eyes wander, but then there's Jake in front of her with his hand outstretched.
"May I have this dance?"
Raven stares at him and thinks
what
and Jake chuckles.
"Come on, Reyes. You're my friend and my family. Dance with me."
So Raven dances with Jake and he pays perfect attention to where he steps so that Raven's bad foot isn't in the way. He's so sweet that Raven almost starts crying again.
The wedding is perfect and Raven has so much fun.
She's dancing and twerking on one leg and taking silly photobox pictures with her friends.
If she keeps looking for Abby it's completely unintentional.
She's dancing with Lexa when she finally spots Abby alone at a table and decides to make her way over.
She excuses herself and grabs her purse before she walks towards Abby -
who's eyes light up the moment she sees Raven.
Raven sits down next to her and opens and closes her mouth a few times before she finally says -
"You look stunning today, Abby. So beautiful."
- and Abby bites her lip and blushes hard, looking down.
"So do you, Raven."
Her voice is soft and Raven grins at her words.
They sit in silence a few moments until Raven asks -
"Dance with me?"
- even though she can't really dance -
but Abby says yes and suddenly they're on the dance floor with Abby's arms around her neck and her hands on Abby's hips and -
it's so intimate.
Because of course it had to be slow dance music for couples swaying around and kissing.
So they sway and sway and Raven starts rubbing her thumbs along the low cut back of Abby's dress, gently caressing her bare back.
Abby's grip tightens and their chests are almost pressed together and Raven feels her breath on her neck.
Fuck
Raven thinks
Fuck fuck fuck
And then, all of a sudden, Abby suggests -
"Do you want to take a walk through the gardens? I could use a break."
And when Raven nods Abby takes her hand and leads her into the dark gardens.
They walk hand in hand in silence for a few minutes until they reach a bench under an old oak tree and they decide to sit down.
Raven doesn't let go of Abby's hand -
or is it Abby who doesn't let go?
She has no idea what to do.
..to be continued..