Work Text:
It was close to midnight and the mist left behind by the rain was blanketing the surroundings. The late hour and the weather forced people to hurry home, so the streets were practically deserted. Shen Yuan was miserably trudging home, silently cursing his friend for his predicament, when out of nowhere a young lady(?) wearing a face mask called out to him.
“Am I beautiful?”
“E-excuse me?” - Shen Yuan stuttered, slightly unsure how to react to this and utterly flabbergasted that she would ask a random stranger something like that. Who in their right mind even approached strangers this late at night?
“Am I beautiful?”
“I don’t know? I apologize for the rudeness but I can not see your face. And even if I could beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway and beauty standards are a social construct prone to change”
The woman reached towards her face and removed her mask.
“And now? Am I beautiful now?”
Shen Yuan was honestly quite done with this conversation so he said the first thing that came to mind:
“You’re normal just like everyone else. You don’t need validation from perfect strangers to justify anything or feel good about yourself! And if some di-guy says otherwise ignore them or punch them in the face!”
The woman appeared to be dazed and started to walk away. Shen Yuan was also going to go his way before suddenly he remembered something and called out to her.
“Miss!” The woman paused hesitantly, as if unsure whether he was addressing her or not, but turned towards him anyway. “Please be careful if you’re going in the direction of the park. A couple of minutes ago I saw a pervert harassing young girls there. He was literally flirting and trying to touch young girls, literal children, who couldn’t be out of school yet! Can you imagine the nerve of some people?! I scared him off and escorted the girls to a well-lit and populated area, but I saw him still lurking in that park so it’s better to be careful.”
“...I can take care of myself. Where exactly have you seen that man?”
Shen Yuan tried to caution her again and change her mind, but seeing that she was clearly intending to give that sad excuse of a man a piece of her mind and wouldn’t budge Shen Yuan finally surrendered and gave her directions. He paid no attention to the already unnaturally wide smile on her face becoming even more distorted as the expression on her face became downright murderous and malicious. Smiling ruefully to himself, he shook his head at the righteous fury he could practically feel radiating from her.
“...What a nice young lady.”
He didn’t notice the “lady”, who was still within a hearing distance, stumbling over her own two feet or looking back at him wide-eyed, disfigured face flushing brightly. Nor did he saw her march towards the park even more determined than before. Her movements looking wrong and unnatural sending chill down the observer's spine.
Honestly? Shen Yuan didn’t notice anything because he was too busy lamenting his misfortune. Why and how could someone with as terrible eyesight as his manage to forget his glasses? All he saw were blobs of color and silhouettes. He was lucky to be familiar with this route or he would get lost and stumble every two steps.
Behind him, Shang Qinghua was pale and sweating with horror. His mouth gaping open. Shen Jiu was going to kill him. Why was it on his watch that Shen Jiu’s spirit bait of a brother managed to stumble across two kinds of insanely dangerous, exceedingly deadly ghosts and yet somehow get out of it completely unscathed and with said murderous spirits charmed? How?
Those "girls" he saved from the pervert? Yeah, they were neither innocent nor defenseless. They were as far from harmless as you can get being a ravenous ghost. And that pervert has been their prey. So technically Shen Yuan did not save the girls from the pervert, he saved the pervert from being gruesomely murdered and devoured by murderous ghosts... only to send another lethal cryptid after his hide. How scary~ Shen-dada, why are you like this?
Maybe it would be better not to tell Shen Jiu what happened? It’s not like those spirits will be back, right? Right? Besides this wouldn't be the first time Shen Jiu stayed in the dark about his baby brother's supernatural shenanigans. It still escaped Shang Qinghua how he can not know that the monster under the bed, the one in the closet, and the sleep paralysis demon are fighting for custody over his brother. Honestly, how? They weren't even being subtle about it! The monster under the bed, in particular, had absolutely no chill whatsoever!
Arriving home, Shen Yuan said hello to the kind grandmotherly old woman living in an old, slightly decrepit looking house across from him. His mother raised him to respect the elderly, so he always made sure to greet her properly and help her with her groceries and things when necessary. The fact that she always slipped him delicious treats as a reward was just a bonus.
Seeing that she was hauling what looked like a large black bag, Shen Yuan politely offered to help her carry it, but she declined saying it was just down feathers for the pillows and quilts she was making as her latest sewing projects. Very light even if the bag looked voluminous. Shen Yuan knew how to pick his battles and was familiar with his neighbor enough to know that he wouldn't be winning this one. Trusting her judgment Shen Yuan said goodbye and went home.
Watching as he left the hag decided that she needed to make a new batch of cookies for the polite young man. Such a delightful youngling. Usually, humans screamed in fear seeing her covered in blood with her true form inhuman features showing. They always tried to run away, cursing her, some of the braver ones, or stupider ones depending on how you look at it, even tried to attack her, all in vain.
Shaking her head she absentmindedly lifted the bag with the dead body of her latest victim and made a note to clean up the bloody trail it was leaving behind. It wouldn't do to leave such a mess. What if the young one decided to take a walk and slipped? Given how delicate that child is he would definitely get himself hurt and his clothes ruined for sure. That won't do, that won't do at all.
Perhaps she should look into matchmaking him with someone? Someone strong enough to protect him and capable of taking care of him. Hmm, weren't there rumors about a nice young eligible demon lord floating around? And wasn't that Bai Zhan's War God still single? For shame, at his age, and with his credentials, it was becoming simply embarrassing. She should definitely look into it! Her little one deserved only the best! Don't worry, A-Yuan, grandma will find you the best suitors!
Suddenly, for no apparent reason at all, Shen Yuan felt an ominous chill run down his spine. Hmm... Looking around and seeing nothing suspicious aside from the good old Airplane-bro trying to fuse with street light like the weirdo he is, he dismissed the feeling. It must be the wind. The weather has been getting colder lately after all.
He unlocked the door and entered the house completely ignoring the ominous caws of the crows above his head. He was not surprised to see that most of the lights were off and there were some lit candles scattered around the place. His roommate was really into that ambiance and Fengshui. Shen Yuan had no clue how it worked, but if his roommate wanted to place candles in funky shapes and burn some incense while chanting some nonsense all the power to him. He had no problem with that as long as he didn't burn the house down.
Something moved in the shadows of the hallway and the lights started to flicker sporadically. The temperature seemed to drop a couple of degrees making Shen Yuan's breath visible. He paused taking off his shoes as he felt something cold brush against his now uncovered foot before disappearing. There was a sound of something scraping against the floorboards. Blinking his eyes in confusion, Shen Yuan ruefully shook his head and finished taking off his shoes.
Looking down again he saw a large black snake stare unblinkingly up at him with seemingly glowing yellow eyes. Another snake lifted its head farther down the hall seemingly scenting the air. Utterly unconcerned Shen Yuan reached down to gently pet its head, before doing the same to its smaller partner. Seeing that the smaller snake was determined to stick with him, he lifted it up and placed it on his shoulders. Shen Yuan smiled as he heard an almost inaudible pleased hiss near his ear and felt his companion relax and wrap its body more comfortably around his shoulders. Sure his roommate's choice of a pet was unusual but at least they were well-trained and always down for a cuddle.
Speaking of roommates. Shen Yuan casually looked up only to see his roommate looking back at him from the ceiling.
“Oh. Hi, Zhuzhi-lang! Having fun?”
Offering him a smile he continued towards the kitchen. He loved that guy, honestly, one of the most chill dudes ever. Even if he had that strange habit of crawling on the ceilings and walls and turning his head at painful angels as he did that. But oh well, everyone had their quirks and who didn’t watch spy movies as a kid? Sure his roommate was a bit too into the whole spy/ninja role-play but hey! At least he looked cool while doing that! Got to give props to the guy, it took a lot of athleticism to pull that off. Shen Yuan himself with his old man back could never pull that off.
Bloopers aka How Shen Yuan Became As He Is
Shen Yuan, age 6:
Shen Jiu was having a nice day. The weather was nice, he had no assignments to complete for school and he had his baby brother all to himself. No annoying Qi-ge trying to usurp his place as the best big brother, no pesky parents constantly hogging his A-Yuan's attention, just the two of them. A perfect time to take a walk in the park with a tiny energetic ball of fluff and curiosity that was his younger brother.
He also seemed to have gotten lucky with the timing. Despite it being the afternoon the park appeared to be practically deserted. That was the first red flag.
He was so absorbed in indulgently watching Shen Yuan flit from one flower to another, from a shiny rock to a pretty butterfly that caught his attention that he completely missed the fact that it was strangely quiet. Aside from the noise they were making there wasn't a single sound. No sound of footsteps or voices of other people, no birds chirping, no chattering of the squirrels, no insect sounds. Just oppressive, heavy silence. That was the second red flag.
The third red flag came in the form of a roar followed by a sound of fighting. That inhuman roar and the following growling and snarling noises seemed to be getting progressively closer and were distinctly supernatural in nature. Shen Jiu knew what normal animals sounded like. This wasn't even remotely close to it. Not only that but he had enough experience in dealing with otherworldly to recognize that he needed to grab his brother and get out of there. Fast.
Only he was too late. The two battling monsters have made their appearance. A chimera was clearly winning the fight with some vaguely humanoid looking creature he didn't care enough to look too closely at. Both barely five meters away from the frozen form of his six-year-old brother. Shen Jiu never moved that fast before in his life. He snatched A-Yuan up and moved a safe distance away just as the battle tapered down ending in a decisive victory of the chimera.
Shen Jiu feels his blood run cold as his adorable baby brother finally unfreezes and with all the innocent curiosity of a child points at chimera nibbling on the remains of some poor fools hand and asks him what that is. Fuck. He wasn't ready for this. He had no intention of letting his cute A-Yuan get involved with the supernatural. Ever. Spiritually gifted or not, Shen Yuan was to be kept safe and in the dark about the existence of other beings among them. So Shen Jiu did the only logical thing he could. He panicked...
...and told him it's a dog. Shen Yuan might be young, but he is not dumb. He knows dogs do not look like that. Giving his big brother the most deadpan incredulous face he can make on his adorably round chubby face, he continued to unblinkingly stare him down as Shen Jiu broke into a nervous cold sweat. Discretely but frantically looking around for inspiration or something to distract him with Shen Jiu's eyes fall on a poster.
Suddenly struck by inspiration Shen Jiu proceeded to give his baby brother an impassioned lecture on pollution and the damage it does to the environment, including the mutations it can cause in animals. To his relief, it worked. Shen Yuan was suitably outraged and horrified, clearly buying the utter BS Shen Jiu has spewed in his panicked state.
However, Shen Jiu congratulated himself too soon. He was so busy inwardly panicking before that he didn't even notice that he let his brother go. And now he was so relieved that his excuse worked that he forgot one of the fundamental rules of babysitting: Never take your eyes of the child.
As soon as he looked away, Shen Yuan marched straight towards the "doggy" and pet it apologizing for what humans have done. Luckily for him, the chimera was too frozen in shock to do anything before Shen Jiu snatched him away and left lecturing about touching "wild animals". Chimera was left behind utterly lost and befuddled by the tiny larvae state human. What were they teaching their young these days?
Shen Yuan never questioned that incident much to his brother's relief. If Shen Jiu found a gray hair on his head later that day...well, no one needed to know that. And if since that day Shen Yuan became passionate about the environment and protection of animals regardless of how weird they look? Well, it's not like it's a bad thing? It's all humans' fault anyway, Jiu-ge said so. And it did earn him a lot of browny points with the older generation after all, as well as that strange lady who seemed to live in the lake and the grandpa who always wore clothes strangely reminiscent of tree bark.
Shen Yuan, age 8:
That first incident was just one of many, many similar occurrences. Realizing that he cannot keep his A-Yuan from encountering supernatural entirely, Shen Jiu came up with a new plan. The plan being: Deny, deny, deny. Or come up with perfectly mundane excuses for clearly abnormal instances. Like now.
Shen Jiu was mentally sweating buckets but outwardly keeping his poker face as Shen Yuan pointed at a demon fight and an incompetent exorcist who was uselessly standing at the side and not doing anything of value. If it were but a year or two ago Shen Jiu would have been lost for words, but now with plenty of experience under his belt, he knew a perfect way to get out of this sticky situation.
With a perfectly straight face, he soulfully looked Shen Yuan straight in the eyes and said:
“Influencers these days. They would do anything for the video.”
Shen Yuan's eyes open wide, a look of understanding and realization on his face. Letting out a small, miffed huff he sent a small glare in that direction before looking away clearly having lost interest in whatever is going on. Shen Jiu allows himself a brief moment to enjoy a sweet taste of victory before cheerfully catching up to his brother and continuing on their way.
As long as Shen Jiu had a say in this A-Yuan will never know. After all, with Shen Yuan being oblivious the risk of him getting directly involved in this will surely be much lower. As for the rest... Shen Jiu will take care of it. It's not like this could ever backfire on him. Right?
Shen Yuan, age 13:
Something disturbs Shen Yuan's sleep in the middle of the night. He lies in bed completely dazed, cozily wrapped up in his blanket burrito, with his arm hanging over the side of his bed. It is still dark, and his bedroom is shrouded in deep shadow. Suddenly something unseen seizes his hand.
Shen Yuan with his mind half-asleep automatically grasps it tightly. Jiu-ge always told him that first impressions are important and a firm, confident handshake will establish dominance.
Deep, raspy voice echos under his bed:
“You're hired.”
Now completely convinced that he is having a strange lucid dream Shen Yuan grumpily replies, confused at the lack of logic in this dream:
“No, thank you. I am not looking for a job? I am not even old enough to work yet and I never applied to anything.”
“Oh.”
There is an awkward pause after that before that voice clears his throat uncomfortably. Taking pity on the figment of his imagination Shen Yuan says his goodbye and wishes him goodnight, before resolutely turning on the other side and going back to sleep. He is a growing boy! He needs his beauty sleep!
When the morning comes he only has some vague memories of his "weird dream". Clearly this was all Airplane's fault. That stupid conversation he had with him earlier that day must have messed with his brain!
Earlier that day:
“What have you been doing lately? I haven’t seen you in ages!”
“Well, I’m working on a new method for summoning demons, but it’s not exactly working out. I don’t know if someone sabotaged my notes or the Powers of Hell are screwing with me, but so far I’ve been summoning anything *but* demons.”
“Such as?”
“The neighbor’s kids, my cat, a grapefruit, a folding lawn chair, a copy of the Bible, and a human kidney with a fork stuck in it.”
“That’s… disturbing.”
“I know, right? How badly would I have to mess up at summoning demons to accidentally conjure the Bible?!”
“Seriously? That's what you're worried about? You really need to get your priorities straight, Airplane-bro. Sometimes the way your hamster wheel of a brain works worries me.”