Chapter Text
Today was a pretty normal day in Morioh, both Josuke and Koichi observed. The two were engaged in idle chit-chat as they walked down the hall to their next class, side-by-side. In fact, the only noteworthy thing about the day so far, besides Okuyasu apparently playing hooky, was how damn ordinary it felt. Which obviously meant things were going to take a turn for the weird very soon.
Then, as if on cue, Koichi heard a loud smack and Josuke stumbled forward with a squawk.
"Josuke! Are you okay?!" he squeaked.
"Uh, yeah, I'm good," he answered, voice coming out somewhat strained, "Hey, Koichi, did you just…?" The question died in his throat.
"What? What are you asking?"
"Did you just... um…?" He had a disturbed look on his face, sweat starting to bead on his brow.
The sight of Josuke perturbed did not calm his nerves much. "What?!"
"Did you just slap me on the ass?"
Koichi's expression changed from panicked to confused. "Wait, what?"
"Dude, I just felt something hit me in the ass, and you're standing right next to me!"
Koichi's cheeks flushed red. "I-I would never do such a thing!"
"Okay, but if you didn't do it… who did?"
The duo looked around the hall. It was completely vacant, save for the two of them, which gave them no hints as to who the assailant might be. Due to Koichi's unfortunate height, however, he did notice something on the offending area of Josuke's body as he turned.
"Josuke, look!" he exclaimed, pointing at the other boy's rump.
Josuke twisted to find a big gold X on the back of his right leg, its strokes so curved it looked like two semicircles meeting, with the upper part indeed stretching over the cheek.
"Oh, what the hell is this? A new Stand?"
"Definitely."
"Great, just great," he huffed, highly embarrassed and wanting this whole thing to be over with already. "Alright, I know what to do."
He summoned Crazy Diamond and braced himself, holding on to the windowsill of one of the windows lining the hall and bending over to stick his butt (and leg) out. His Stand attempted to rip the strange X off, both struggling against the tension, grunting.
"You have no idea how wrong this looks," commented Koichi, shaking his head.
"Oh, trust me, I do!"
There was a loud ripping sound, which Josuke thought promising, but when he inspected it he only found the seat of his pants ripped. Worse, the top of the X had transferred to his underwear. After cursing under his breath, his pants soon repaired themselves, and that part of the X phased back on there as well. Seeing there was no point to this, Josuke retracted Crazy Diamond.
"This thing's stuck to me like glue!" he lamented, "What should we do now?"
"I don't know," said Koichi, gripping the straps of his bag, "We've gotta get to class soon. It doesn't hurt, right?"
"No," he said, twisting to see how it reacted, "It feels like it's nothing."
"Okay. Let's just go to class, and we'll deal with it later. If your leg starts turning into jelly or something, let me know."
Class didn't go well. The paranoia of something which you don't know the effects of latching to such an important part of your body was not conducive to a pleasant academic environment. All the time, Josuke fretted that any moment his leg would turn into jelly like Koichi said, or pudding, or bees, or something equally outlandish but devastating that was typical to Stand abilities. Nothing of the sort happened, though. He just sat there with a mysterious X on his butt, dying internally.
When class ended after what felt like ten years, he and Koichi snuck outside between periods to plan their next move. They had to figure out what this thing was going to do and who put it there, fast.
“Do you think Mr. Jotaro could help?”
Josuke bit his lip.
“I don’t know, but he’s our safest bet. He’s had a lot of experience with Stands, so he might recognize this one...”
Just then, they saw a figure barreling towards them down the sidewalk. He was pretty big, but still looked like a highschooler in age. He was grinning like mad, his face awfully scuffed up and framed by chin length silver hair, which was still long as he had a long face, and it had sticks and stray leaves sticking out at odd places. His feet didn't touch the ground. Instead, he was propelled by his Stand, which hovered over his shoulder and hauled him along.
"AW, YEAH! WE GOT 'EM NOW!" he hollered as he came into Crazy Diamond's range.
"DORA!" Crazy Diamond yelled, punching the encroacher right on the kisser. The guy flew back in a heap on the ground, Stand disappearing, his face first looking entirely broken before it reconstructed, the minor scrapes from before healing as well. He sat up afterwards, touching his face with his left hand and looking at the palm of his right.
"Damn, it didn't work…" he grumbled. He looked up to Josuke, "Thanks for patchin' me up, though. You're a real pal."
"You're… wel… come?" replied Josuke with a raised eyebrow. Who the hell was this guy? Why was he being so casual with him all of a sudden? Wasn't he just trying to attack him?
The kid started picking the leaves and sticks out of his hair with one hand. "Yeah, I don't know what's up with 'm. He kept ramming me right into trees and telephone poles and junk. Maybe it's 'cause he's new..."
A leaf fell from his hair and drifted into his right palm, the hand he wasn't using. He stared at it sitting there, wide-eyed, as if it were the most incredible sight in the world. After a bit, he said to himself, "Oh, right, it wouldn't do anything, 'cause I'm a… right..."
Josuke and Koichi exchanged puzzled glances.
"Okay, I don't know who you are, but you've got some explainin' to do," said Josuke, stepping forward with a tough punk veneer.
"Oi, Josuke, you seriously don't recognize me?" said the perp, laughter in his voice, "Why don't ya take a better look?"
Josuke followed his advice, as did Koichi, sizing him up, really taking in his outfit in conjunction with the rest of his appearance. His clothes were mostly white, gray pinstripes on his shirt and pants accompanied with blue and gold patterning in certain areas. The fabric of his belt was gold with a large silver buckle and blue pouches on either hip. The upper part of his body was where things started becoming recognizable. Strapped to his torso was a blue baseball catcher's chest protector, though it was quite small as it only reached the naval. Draped over his neck was a white towel, embroidered in gold thread with a dollar sign on one end and a yen symbol on the other. This, accompanied with that long face and silver hair that hearkened to horse blinders.
They understood the pastiche, but it only raised more questions.
"Why are you dressed like The Hand?" asked Koichi.
"More importantly, why'd you send your Stand after me?" Josuke pressed, turning around to display the X plainly.
The guy gave a confused squint. "Why the hell'd it land on your--" he shook his head, as if trying to literally get the thought out of his mind, "Nevermind, it's whatever." He then complained, "Man, I thought you guys would get it just by lookin' at me. Now I'm gonna hafta figure out how to explain it…" He saw Josuke's miffed expression and glanced back to the X. "Oh, yeah. Lemme get that off you, bro…"
His Stand reemerged, reaching out and peeling the X off his rear like a sticker. It was now that the pair got a good look at the Stand as well. It was robotic, plated mostly in glossy cobalt blue metal, but with silver and gold accents. Thick green and purple cables connected its torso and hips. A golden dollar sign was emblazoned on its chest. Its face was that same dark blue, but the plate that formed the back of the head was silver, with antennas like a radio's sticking out of the nape of the neck. At the top of the head was a light fixture of some sort that in its dimmed out state suggested a small pompadour. As if to complete the picture, the Stand placed the X on its face, square between its two white headlights for eyes.
"OKUYASU?!" Josuke screamed.
"Y-you're right! It does look a lot like Okuyasu!" Koichi agreed, "But if this guy looks like Okuyasu's Stand, and his Stand looks like Okuyasu, then that must mean…" He slapped the sides of his face in disbelief, "No way!"
"Yeah way," he confirmed, gesturing to the familiar Stand, "That's Okuyasu and I'm The Hand. I dunno how it happened, but we… switched roles, I guess."
The two boys took a moment to process this information, then Josuke stepped forward, his focus dead-set on Okuyasu.
"Don't worry, we're gonna fix it, I promise," he assured his friend-turned-Stand, squeezing his mechanical hand. Okuyasu, for his part, was strangely calm. Actually, he had no emotional reaction at all, he just stared at Josuke with those unfeeling headlights. Given the overly emotional lad he used to be, this was a disturbing sight.
"Okuyasu…? You okay...?"
"There's nothin' goin' on up there, Josuke," said The Hand, pointing to his own temple, "Some Stands can think separate from their Users, but I wasn't one of 'em, so he's the same."
"Oh…" He searched the Stand's unmoving face for any sign of the goofy teen it once was. Slowly, he let go of its hand, admitting defeat in silence.
The Stand faded away, though Josuke's gaze stayed fixed on where it stood for a few seconds after.
Koichi touched him on the back. "Josuke, I--"
"We've gotta get him back," he stated, voice hardened by determination, "Hand, where did this happen?" He dropped the "The" from his name, as it would be too clunky to say every time, as he had to frequently in this situation.
"While he was walkin' to school, before he got to your place to walk with you."
"Was there anything out of the ordinary around? Maybe a stranger who could be a Stand User?"
"Not a thing. Just birds and squirrels and stuff, like any other morning. He was just walking and then-- bam! Outta nowhere! Some kinda explosion! And the next thing I knew, I was in his place, all human and junk!"
That line of questioning a dead end, Josuke wondered how to continue the investigation. Koichi tugged his shirt.
"Josuke, we should check by your neighborhood, just to be safe," he suggested, "After all, Okuyasu's not the most observant guy, so he might have missed something."
"That's true, and I was too busy adjustin' to the new body this morning to look," added Hand.
"So it's decided then. We're going to the Nijimura house to get to the bottom of this. And after that, we'll kick the ass of whoever's responsible."
So the three boys walked through Morioh. Hand and Koichi chatted about the Stand's newfound humanity, though it was mostly Hand complaining about having to do all the breathing, walking, and thinking for himself. Josuke was uncomfortably quiet.
"Oi, Josuke," Hand addressed him, "if you feel rotten thinking about it, maybe calling it a different name'll help. That way you don't think 'bout how it used to be."
"What do you mean?"
"It-- he--" he stumbled over the pronouns, "ya know, Okuyasu. I know you care a lot about him, but you gotta understand: he's not himself right now. He can't think or feel, but because of that he can't feel bad about it like you think he would. You're gettin' worked up double 'cause of it. That's gonna eat at you and you're gonna do a shit job scoping things out. So you oughta separate it in your mind, at least for now."
Josuke gritted his teeth. It pained him to dehumanize his friend like that, but Hand was right. "Alright, what do you have in mind for a name?"
Hand's eyes widened in surprise. "M-me?!"
"I mean, you're the User. Seems like that's your department."
"I have to name it?! But where do you even start?" He turned to Koichi. "Hey, you're a new Stand User, how'd you name your Stand?"
Koichi shrugged. "It's not something you think about, it just sort of pops into your head. Give it time."
Hand took his Stand out and examined it as he walked, and recalled the ability it displayed before. He ruminated on this for a while.
"I got it!" he shouted at last, "Long Distance Operator! You know, 'cause of how it tracked you down from so far away and carried me straight to you."
"Hey, that's pretty good," complimented Koichi.
"Whaddya think, Josuke?" Hand asked, a dopey, eager grin on his face. It stung Josuke, seeing him smile like that. He knew The Hand was a manifestation of Okuyasu's fighting spirit, it was a part of him, so it made sense that its personification would act so much like him. Yet, that casual manner of speaking and childish demeanor were so ingrained in his mind as fundamentally Okuyasu Nijimura that a new face attached to it was uncanny.
"Long Distance Operator… it's... great. Kewl. I just hope I don't have to call him that for long…"