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It was supposed to be a normal commander meeting. That's was Ace had thought. Not some stupid self reflection shit. He wanted to stomp to his room, but he also wanted to be quiet. He wanted to hit something or cry. He was sad and angry.
Why? Why was he like this?
————— Flashback —————
New Year's Eve. The time for reflection on the past year.
Pops had summoned every commander for a commander meeting. Ace didn't know what it was for, but he was on time. Every other commander was there as well, happily chattering among each other. "Hey what is this meeting about?" Ace asked to the nearest person, that happened to be Namur.
"You don't know? Every year there is a meeting for the commander were we can reflect upon ourselves."
"Reflect upon ourselves? What are we supposed to do?"
"Just wait, Pops will explain."
"Okay?" This conversation didn't clear things up in the slightest, but he guessed that he would just have to wait.
The meeting officially started when pops walked in.
"We all know why we are here, except maybe you Ace. So let me explain it. It is not an normal meeting. This is just a moment of self reflection. Sort of like making a New Years resolution. I want you all to take a piece of paper and make two columns, one is for good and one is for improvement."
Every commander went to grab a pen and paper and began to do that. Pops waited patiently until everyone was ready. "Alright, now I give each of you ten minutes to write a few things that you think that you did or handled very good this year and things were you might need to improve yourself. Does everyone get it?" Everyone nodded. "Okay, then you can start."
Everyone looked at their paper, thought for a moment and then wrote something down. They took turns thinking and writing. Everyone had already written something, but not Ace. He was still thinking. He couldn't come up with something he was good at, well something that he was good, good at or something that he handled good.
He was good at being a hot-head, but that was more negative then positive. He wrote that down by improvement.
What else?
He could only come up with more negative things. He did write them all down. His list of improvement things was getting bigger and bigger. The positive side remained completely blank, there was nothing there.
Hot head he had a short fuse and sometimes quickly blew up.
Eating to much he knew he ate to much for a sailor. Food was scarce. He added a huge bill on food for food just for him.
Getting into trouble he always found trouble at sea or on land, there hasn't been a week that he hasn't gotten into trouble.
Can be annoying he irritated people when he was bored.
Stupid an upbringing in the forest did that.
The list went on and on. He was sure there were at least 30 negative things on his list, but still no positive. It bugged him. Why couldn't he think of something? An ugly feeling formed in his heart.
Was he really that useless? He really couldn't find a single good thing about himself.
It made him wonder. Was he really fit to be second decision commander? Did pops really want him as their second division commander or even a son when he had so many flaws and nothing where he excelled in?
Everything positive he came up with was quickly dismissed. A good brother? No, that's a standard here. He was sure that there were many better brothers then him on the ship. A good navigator? Don't make me laugh. He wasn't that good. There were many in the second decision that were just as good or even better then him. Fighting? Maybe.
Come on Ace think! There is surely one thing you are good at, but no matter of hard he thought he couldn't think of something.
"Time is up, my sons." Ace froze. There were so many points on the improvement side and absolutely nothing on the good side.
Why was he such a failure?
The other commanders stood up and placed their paper on a stack. They were supposed to turn these things in?! There was no way he could turn this in. Pops would then know what a disappointment he was.
All his sadness suddenly turned into anger. It is a self-coping mechanism that he developed when he was a child. It was to keep the cruel voices out and it gave him more strength to beat up the people who were mean.
Why do this dumb reflection thing anyway. He crumpled the stupid paper up and threw it a hard as he could. The paper did not go far since they were in an enclosed room. Ace stormed past the commanders and pops and that is bringing us to where we are now.
Ace slammed the door opens to his commander quarters and fell down in the bed. He looked up at the ceiling. A few tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. Why couldn't he be good enough for something. Just for once in his god damn life. Why did he always screw things up? He also made a fool of himself by storming out the room like an upset child.
Ace curled in to himself. He really wanted to disappear at the moment. He cursed his 'father' again and again for giving birth to someone like him.
Lucky that he destroyed the paper though...WAIT. Shit, shit, shit, shit he didn't. He had thrown it not burned it. Fuck! Now pops and the other commanders could see what kind of failure he was. Ace wrapped his arms tighter around himself and curled up even more. He couldn't even do one thing fucking right.
Nice start of the new year. Happy fucking birthday my ass. He was sure that when the morning came he would be demoted from his commander rank or even worse, be kicked of the ship. Best fucking birthday gift ever.
Pops didn't need a son like him. Ace had too many problems.
Negative emotions and thoughts kept plaguing his mind until he fell asleep.
—— back at the commanders meeting ——
Everyone looked at Ace when he stormed out. Nobody knew what to do for a few moments. "I think that someone had a bad year." Thatch said jokingly.
Marco hit him softly on the head and walked to the paper Ace had thrown on the ground. He picked it up and unfolded it. He looked at it for a few second. A look of disbelief and confusion formed on his face. "What the-"
Thatch walked over to Marco and looked at the paper, curious about what caused Marco's sudden change in emotions.
"What the fuck is this." Thatch angrily snatched the paper out of Marco's hands.
Now the other commanders and pops were also curious, but it was pops who voiced it first. "What is it, my sons?"
"It's bullshit." Thatch answered. Pops eyes narrowed.
"Thatch, you shouldn't say that about your brothers reflection." Pops held his hand out. He obviously wanted Thatch to give him the paper.
Marco and Thatch looked hesitating at each other. Ace would have wanted them to not have looked at it. It already felt like they were betraying Ace's privacy.
"Come on Thatch it can't be that bad." Haruta said. He was known for his little stature, speed, intelligence and pranks. He used his speed to quickly snatch the paper out of Thatch's hand and showed it to the other commanders and pops.
Thatch and Marco tried to stop it, but it was already to late, every other commander and pops had seen it. Many commander had a face full of shock and sadness and there were a few who voiced their opinions about it.
Pops closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He knew exactly what caused this. It made him think of the evening that Ace came to him and told him about his father. He had known right then and there that Ace was insecure about his relation to the late pirate king and suffered from it, but he didn't know it ran this deep.
It saddened him that Ace had not come to him for help, but it saddened him more that he hadn't seen it. It made him feel like he failed his family, his treasure. He looked at the list again and then to his sons. Haruta's earlier confidence completely vanished and a look of guilt and sadness had replaced it.
Haruta felt like a his heart was being eaten up. He had overlooked the situation's seriousness and handled childishly. He had shoved and exposed his little brothers secrets for every commander to see. He had betrayed his only little brother. He had failed as the older one.
"So what are we going to do against this." Curiel pointed to the offending piece of paper.
Thatch suddenly came up with something. He had originally bought it to prank someone, but now it seemed like it could serve a much better purpose.
"I have an idea, listen up." Thatch began to explain his idea. After the explanation, the commanders and pops had agreed to his plan. They were going to put it into action.
They went to prepare everything and two hours later they were standing in front of the second division commander's quarters. Haruta had looked around the ship for Ace and he hadn't seen him anywhere and the Striker hadn't left his dock so they concluded that Ace must be in his quarters.
Thatch would go in and see if Ace was awake or not. If so, then Thatch would take Ace out of his room and keep him busy till they were done. If Ace was asleep then they would just have to work quietly and temporarily move him to an other room.
Thatch knocked softly on the door, waited a few seconds and then opened it. He looked inside. His eyes were immediately drawn to Ace, who was sleeping on his bed. Ace still had everything on and was laying curled up on his side.
Thatch's heart squeezed painfully. Ace's eyes were red and puffy and you could still see the tear marks on his face. He was laying curled up in himself, it looked like he was trying to protect or comfort himself.
Thatch quietly walked over to the bed. Thatch carefully turned Ace on to his back, put an arm under his shoulder and an arm under his knees and picked him up. Then he looked down at Ace to see if he was still asleep. Thatch smiled softly when he saw that he was.
Thatch moved Ace around for a bit so that his youngest brother was laying more comfortable in his arms and walked out of the room into the room in front of him, which happened to be Marco's quarters. He laid Ace down on the bed and tucked him in. Thank god that Ace was a heavy sleeper.
Step one completed. Now step two was ready to begin. Thatch walked out of the room and into a room where the rest of the commanders were waiting. Pops was sadly to big to be included in anything of the plan, but he was there when they planned. So it kinda counted.
"Ace is asleep in Marco's room. I don't know how much time we have, so let's hurry and be quiet. Are you ready?" All the commanders nodded. "Then let step two of the plan begin."
—— next morning ——
Ace woke with a headache. A remembered the disaster that took place yesterday evening. He really didn't want to get out of his room today...or any other day.
He slowly opened his eyes. His eyes widened at what he saw. He rubbed his eyes a few times to see if he was still asleep. His whole room was covered in sticky notes!
He looked closer on the sticky notes. It seemed like every one of them had a word or a sentence on it.
He grabbed one of the wall besides his bed and read it. 'Amazing how you can wear that bright color orange.' It was Izo's handwriting. Ace grabbed the next one too, 'Best prank buddy ever!' was written on it. This one was written by Thatch. Ace looked at more notes.
'A good listener, especially with stories'
'Good company'
'Cute!'
'The absolute best marshmallow roaster'
Ace looked at his whole room and saw that every one of the sticky notes had something positive to say about him. A few tears ran down his cheeks without him noticing. His heart was filled with happiness. Did the commanders do this, for him?
Ace swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. A strangled sob escaped his mouth and tears streamed down his face, more and more came, until he was full out bawling his eyes out. He was crying, from happiness.
The moment was interrupted when Thatch barged in with a tray full of his favorite food and a bright smile on his face. "Good morning Ace, I ha- holy shit." Thatch noticed that Ace was crying and quickly set his tray on Ace's desk. He then ran back to Ace.
"Are you okay? Is something wrong? How can I help?" More questions flew out Thatch's mouth. His concern growing bigger and bigger, before Ace shut him up by pulling him into one of the tightest hugs Thatch had ever had. It was absolutely heartwarming and perfect.
Thatch rubbed his hands comfortingly over his youngest brothers back. Ace pulled away slightly. "Thank you for loving me!" His words were still a bit muffled, but Thatch heard them loud and clear. He was shocked for a few seconds, but then recomposed himself. He pulled Ace back into the tight hug again, comforting him in the warm embrace. A fond smile formed on his face.
"You don't have to thank us for loving you. We'll always love you." Thatch smiled. There was absolute no doubt in Thatch's mind that that statement could ever be broken.
"Always."