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Felicity Versus The Lafite Rothschild

Summary:

When a mission takes an unexpected turn, Felicity is forced to examine her feelings for Oliver.

Notes:

A huge thank you to macyaudenstarr, thecoolcheryl, and humansrsuperior for their continued support!

Work Text:

“Earth to Felicity!”

 

“Hmm?” Felicity said, eyebrows raised in confusion.

 

“Where did you go just now?” Thea asked, pointing a french fry in her direction. They were seated in a booth at Big Belly Burger, chasing away a Buy More shift from hell with some milkshakes and fries.

 

“Me? Nowhere.” Truthfully, she had been thinking about Oliver and John and how seamlessly they had inserted themselves into her life.

 

It had been a few months now since Oliver Queen had walked into the Buy More with his “broken” computer, suddenly catapulting Felicity into a world she could have never imagined. Showdown with the Chinese Triad? Check. Exposing the transmission of a deadly drug? All in a day’s work.

 

On the outside, it appeared that not much had changed--- Felicity was still a member of the Nerd Herd, still living with her brother and his girlfriend, still not living up to her potential. But some things had--- a new friend/co-worker in Diggle and a boyfriend in Oliver.

 

Of course, no one really knew the truth. That John and Oliver were government agents assigned to protect her, an asset in possession of some of the country’s most secret intel. It sounded ridiculous, and frankly, Felicity agreed.

 

“Mmhmm, sure,” Thea said, not believing Felicity for a minute. She took a sip of her banana milkshake, eyes still narrowed. “Just tell me you’re not daydreaming about your boyfriend again. This is the first time it’s been just us girls in a while.”

 

“I’m not daydreaming about Oliver,” Felicity said, placating Thea.

 

“I mean, yes, normally I wouldn’t blame you,” Thea said with a roll of her eyes. “The man is yummy. But I don’t need a constant reminder of how I’m painfully single.”

 

This time, it was Felicity’s turn to roll her eyes. “I seem to remember Dylan, that Samsung sales rep, asking you out the other day.”

 

“That doesn’t count,” Thea sputtered.

 

“And why not?”

 

“Just because,” she huffed in frustration.

 

“What? He was cute!”

 

“Forget I said anything,” Thea mumbled. “You and I both know that I’m a Mac girl.”

 

“Excuse me?! Did I just hear you give a tech-related reason for declining a date?”

 

“Shut up,” Thea said, a smile forming at the corner of her mouth.

 

“I don’t know if proud is the best word to describe how I feel. What I do know is that I have clearly rubbed off on you,” Felicity said, bouncing in her seat. “Remember the guy with the flip phone?”

 

“It was bound to happen at some point. Too bad it wasn’t your brother rubbing off on me instead,” Thea said with a wink.

 

Ugh!” Felicity exclaimed in disgust, throwing a fry at her best friend’s head. “Some things never change, do they?”

 

“Like how much working at the Buy More sucks?”

 

“Precisely.”

 

“Was it just me, or was every customer today a little cuckoo?” Thea asked, making circles with her index finger near her head.

 

“It wasn’t just you. I had people complaining that they didn’t have iMovie pre-installed on their PCs. Oh, and get this...one guy who got a MacBook Air for Christmas asked me where the floppy drive was!”

 

“I just….how do those people even function?”

 

“Beats me,” Felicity shrugged.

 

“We’ve got to get out of there, Fee. We’re slowly dying on the inside.”

 

“Pretty sure that’s true for all human beings…”

 

“You know what I mean. Isn’t it time to do what we really want? Like, look at her for instance,” Thea said, pointing out the window towards the shopping center parking lot. “She looks like she’s got it all figured out.”

 

Felicity followed Thea’s gaze to see a woman not much older than them getting out of a sleek luxury sedan, dark hair perfectly coiffed, fitted suit hugging her trim build in all the right places. Her image screamed success. Sliding her designer handbag over her shoulder, the woman pushed her sunglasses up to rest on her head as she made her way into Large Mart.

 

That quick glimpse was all it took for Felicity to flash. Luckily, Thea was still looking out the window and didn’t see her best friend completely zone out. Felicity, meanwhile, started tapping out a text to Oliver and John to meet her back at their base. There was a pretty good chance those two would like to know that a high-ranking Bratva official was on American soil, and in Starling City, no less.

 

“Thea?” Felicity began gently.

 

“Go,” Thea said, still facing away from Felicity.

 

“I didn’t….how did you…?”

 

“There’s a certain tone in your voice when it comes to Oliver.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. So please go see your hot boyfriend so I don’t have to see you mope anymore. God forbid you spend more than 24 hours apart.”

 

“But I drove you to work today!”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll catch a ride home with Miranda. Her shift ends soon.”

 

“I’ll make it up to you, I swear. We can go to that warehouse sale you’ve been wanting to go to forever!”

 

“Felicity, it’s fine. Go,” Thea said, shooing her.

 

It didn’t take Felicity very long to navigate her Nerd Herd Mini Cooper back to the Buy More parking lot. One thing that had changed in the past few months was the government putting down roots--- a base of operations for the Intersect and her handlers. Conveniently located under the Buy More, it would never occur to most people that they were shopping above a cache of weapons and tactical gear. It was a veritable fortress, which led to the nickname “Castle.” Of course, the first time Felicity heard that, she couldn’t help but laugh. When Oliver gave her a questioning look, she responded. “What? What do you expect me to do when your name is Queen and you’re in the Castle?”

 

Reaching the side door, Felicity placed her thumb on the biometric scanner, which instantly unlocked the door to allow her access. A second entrance was located inside the store, conveniently hidden behind one of the wall panels in the home theater room. Making her way down the stairs to the castle, she found Oliver and John already waiting on her.

 

“You rang?” Diggle said with a smirk.

 

“Hi boys.”

 

“Is everything okay?” Oliver asked, with a slight edge to his voice.

 

“I guess that depends,” Felicity began, “on whether or not having a Bratva operative in town is a good thing.”

 

“Bratva?” Oliver’s eyebrows skyrocketed.

 

“Does the name Isabel Rochev ring a bell?”

 

“Rochev is here?” Oliver asked in disbelief. John, meanwhile, went straight to their comm uplink, trying to establish a connection with General Steele.

 

“Sir?” John began once General Steele appeared on the screen. “It appears as though we have a lead on Isabel Rochev.”

 

“Rochev? Are you sure?”

 

“Sir, I saw her going into the Large Mart earlier,” Felicity spoke up.

 

“The ‘Large Mart?’ One of the Bratva’s most lethal operatives is in Starling City and she’s shopping?” The general seemed skeptical.

 

“That’s where I flashed on her, sir,” Felicity shrugged.

 

“Any reason why the Bratva has a sudden interest in Starling City?”

 

“Not that I can think of, sir,” Oliver said, straightening. “But we will find out.”

 

“Good. Keep me posted,” General Steele said before he signed off.

 

“How exactly are we going to do that?” Felicity asked, turning to face Oliver.

 

“You’re going to find her. And then we’ll figure it out.”

 

“How do you suppose I’m going to find her?”

 

“With this,” Oliver said, powering on a bank of monitors Felicity had never noticed before. As each monitor came to life, she was met with real-time traffic feeds and cameras all over the city, a virtual information hub.

 

She slapped Oliver in the chest before planting herself in front of the desk. “I can’t believe you were hiding this from me!”

 

“We weren’t hiding it. There just hasn’t been a reason to use it yet,” Oliver said, rubbing the spot where she smacked him.

 

“You said she was at the Large Mart. Is her car still there?” Diggle asked.

 

Fingers flying across the keys, Felicity quickly manipulated the system to show her the camera feed from the Large Mart parking lot. “There! The black Audi.”

 

“Can you run the plates? See if it’s a rental.”

 

The MIT drop-out had no trouble pulling up the motor vehicle registry, scouring the database for answers. “Not a rental. Looks like it’s registered to a company. Northstar Group.”

 

“Any info on what---” Diggle began.

 

“Already on it,” Felicity replied, pulling up the company’s filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, finding that the company was likely just a shell corporation.

 

“You sure you’ve never worked with this system before?” Diggle asked, impressed.

 

“No, it’s just a simple algorithm where you…” Felicity trailed off once she saw the confusion on both men’s faces. “Let’s just say I got this!”

 

It was then that Isabel departed the store, making her way back to the Audi. Gracefully, she slid into the driver’s seat, peeling out of the parking lot.

 

“Where is she going?” Diggle asked.

 

Felicity started following the car’s movements through traffic with the various security cameras installed around town. After a few minutes, Felicity came to the conclusion that she was headed for the Starling Grand hotel, the most luxurious hotel Starling City had to offer.

 

“So she’s going to be around for a few days, it looks like. What do we do now?”

 

Oliver spoke up after a long silence. “We need to know why she’s in town. We need to plant a bug in her room.”

 

“Let me guess, you want to dress up as housekeeping and go in her room?” Felicity joked, although the thought was exciting.

 

“It’s not an outrageous idea…if we know which room Rochev’s in,” Diggle chimed in.

 

Felicity spun back around to her computers, executing another search. “There’s no room registered under her name,” she huffed, frustrated.

 

“Probably under a fake name,” Diggle said. “Any other ideas, Queen?”

 

“I might have one.”

 

That “idea” led to Felicity and Diggle sitting in the parking lot at the Starling Grand later that night, camped out in the surveillance van while Oliver was inside.

 

“I hope this works,” Felicity mumbled.

 

“It’ll work, Felicity, don’t worry,” Oliver assured over the comms.

 

“I still think my bellhop idea had merits. You can still swipe a uniform from the locker room, you know.”

 

Oliver was hanging out in the hotel’s lounge, biding his time until he spotted Isabel. Felicity spotted him on the surveillance camera nursing a club soda at the bar.

 

Felicity muted her comm before turning to Diggle. “How exactly does Oliver think he’s going to get in her room?” They hadn’t discussed the finer details of the plan before departing Castle, noting that time was of the essence.

 

“He’s going to get invited.”

 

“Invited?” Felicity scoffed. “What, just ‘come on in?’”

 

Diggle stared at her, waiting for it to sink in, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Oh. Oh. Eww. That’s basically prostitution.”

 

Diggle snorted. “That’s certainly one way of seeing things.” He nodded to the monitors. “Don’t worry, he knows what he’s doing.”

 

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Felicity muttered under her breath.

 

It was then that Isabel made her way into the lounge, refined as ever in a little black dress, not one hair out of place. She lingered in the doorway, seemingly assessing the room, before making her way to the bar, opposite from where Oliver sat. Quickly commanding the bartender’s attention, she ordered a drink, which arrived a few moments later in the form of a martini. Oliver made no move to approach Isabel however, simply swirling his drink before taking another sip.

 

It was a few moments before Isabel noticed Oliver, edging closer to his end of the bar.

 

“So, do you come here often?” Felicity could see the smirk on Isabel’s face as her voice crackled through the comms.

 

“Seriously?” Felicity whispered. “That’s the best she’s got? A super cheesy, outdated pickup line?”

 

Oliver, meanwhile, sat his glass down, biting back a small grin. “Not nearly as often as I should, clearly.”

 

“There’s a lot of lost time to make up for,” Isabel said, trailing a finger up his arm.

 

“It would be wrong to waste any more of it then, wouldn’t it?” He reached out, tucking her hair behind her ear.

 

“I agree completely,” she whispered in his ear as her fingers reached the back of his neck, burying themselves in his hair.

 

“She’s being touchy, right? That seems like a lot of touching,” Felicity hissed at Diggle after hurriedly muting her comm again.

 

“You’re looking a little green there, Smoak.”

 

“The van is parked, John. I couldn’t possibly be getting carsick.”

 

Diggle rolled his eyes. “Jealous. You look jealous.”

 

“I--” Felicity opened and closed her mouth several times, failing to extricate her from the situation.

 

What a preposterous thought! It was unthinkable, really, the prospect of Oliver and Felicity together. Yes, they had their cover relationship, but it had to set off some alarms for the people who knew her, like Thea, Tommy, and Laurel. Oliver was so wildly out of her league, when society expected him to be with someone like….well, like Isabel. The thought made Felicity’s stomach twist. Okay, so maybe she was a little jealous.

 

“We’ve got movement,” Diggle said, snapping Felicity out of her trance.

 

Oliver and Isabel were leaving the bar, headed straight for the elevator banks. The security cameras traced their path as far as the door to Isabel’s suite--Room 503. From that point on, the only surveillance Diggle and Felicity had to guide them was whatever they could pick up from Oliver’s comm.

 

Felicity was getting restless. It was driving her crazy that she couldn’t see what was happening. She looked over at Diggle, who was calmly monitoring all of the camera feeds, on the lookout for any suspicious activity elsewhere in the hotel. It had been strangely silent on the comm feed, save for the electronic lock beeping when Isabel and Oliver first entered the room. She had half a mind that Oliver had muted his own comm when Isabel’s voice came through loud and clear.

 

“It’s been a while, Nikolai.”

 

Nikolai? Felicity looked at Diggle in confusion. Who was she talking to? Was one of her henchmen waiting for them in her room? Was she on the phone standing over Oliver’s unconscious body?

 

“It has, ptichka,” Oliver replied, much to Felicity’s surprise. He was Nikolai? And what did he just call Isabel? Pateeshka? What did that even mean?

 

“Do you know what they’re talking about?” Felicity asked Diggle.

 

He shook his head briskly, turning to his computer to begin a search. “Damn CIA!” He slammed a hand down in frustration. “Don’t tell me I don’t have clearance to view these case files!”

 

Felicity reached over and gently pulled his hand away from the computer. “Hurting innocent equipment isn’t going to give you an answer. And she doesn’t deserve that.” She patted the side of the monitor.

 

She? Don’t tell me you gave the system a name.”

 

“Fine. I won’t then.”

 

“Can we just focus on the task at hand?” Diggle urged.

 

Felicity picked up the tablet she had been using. “Once Oliver activates the bug, everything that’s  recorded will be captured here. I’ve already created an algorithm that will  scan the audio for particular phrases, anything that stands out as particularly suspicious. Hopefully Isabel will reveal her motives for being in Starling City sooner rather than later.”

 

“Good.”

 

“But,” Felicity said, glancing at the time, “Oliver hasn’t activated the listening device yet. I told him he needed to plant it early so we could make sure it was working properly, that we had a good audio stream.”

 

“He hasn’t been up there that long. Relax. Sometimes these things take time.”

 

Felicity tried to be patient, honestly, she did. But after a few minutes of radio silence from Oliver and no activity coming from the bug, Felicity was restless. Something seemed off about the whole situation. “Maybe the device is faulty. Or he could have forgotten how to turn it on. Or something has gone wrong…” she trailed off.

 

“We would know if something went wrong,” Diggle supplied. “Besides, this plan was Queen’s idea. He clearly knows more than he’s letting on, plus he can handle himself.”

 

“Really? Because I haven’t heard much of anything coming from his comm in a while. So I think it’s time we move on to Plan B.”

 

“Whatever you’re thinking Smoak, don’t. It’s not going to end well.”

 

“Relax, John. I’m not going to do anything drastic. I’m just going to take a backup device to the room, just in case. I’ll have my comm on the whole time and you can watch me on the cameras. It’ll be fine.”

 

“You’re not trained and--”

 

“It’ll be fine,” Felicity reiterated, cutting him off. “I’m just going to make a special delivery to their room,” she said while scanning the hotel’s room service menu on her tablet. “Be right back,” she said with a smile, pocketing the listening device as she exited the van.

 

Felicity had had more than enough experience in her lifetime of blending into the background. That, and enough Netflix marathons of spy shows propelled her down the alley toward the service entrance of the hotel. It should have surprised her how quickly she found a uniform in the employee locker room, how quickly she reached the beverage cooler in the kitchen. But she was on a mission and nothing was going to stop her.

 

“Really, Smoak?” Diggle grumbled in her ear as she navigated the corridors of the hotel. “You had to pick one of the most expensive bottles on the menu?”

 

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” she said drily, glancing down at the Lafite Rothschild in her hands. It was foolish, she knew, but just the thought of holding such a decadent wine was almost as exhilarating as the possibility of drinking a glass of her own one day. This was probably as close as she was going to get, and it was enough for now. Plus, based on what she had seen of Isabel Rochev so far, she was the type of woman who accepted nothing less than the best. She affixed the flat listening device to the bottom of the bottle.

 

Felicity rounded the corner, making her final approach to Room 503. She took a deep breath before knocking on the door. “Room service!” she called out.

 

It was a few moments before she heard rustling inside the room, then finally, a pair of footsteps rapidly approaching the door. She heard Oliver’s voice before she could see him. “We didn’t order any room service,” he said as he opened the door.

 

“Compliments of the Starling Grand staff,” Felicity said, thrusting the bottle forward.

 

As Oliver’s form became visible, it was clear Felicity was an unwelcome interruption. Besides the bedsheet wrapped haphazardly around his waist, Oliver was naked. There was no mistaking what had happened behind the closed doors of Isabel’s hotel room.

 

Felicity recoiled backward, as if she had been physically struck. She couldn’t bear to look Oliver in the eye. Belatedly, she realized she had also let go of the neck of the bottle as it shattered on the ground. Thousands of dollars’ worth of red wine was wasted as it seeped into the carpet.

 

“What was that?” Isabel’s voice called out from inside the room.

 

“Wrong room,” Oliver yelled back at Isabel, never once taking his eyes off Felicity, an unreadable expression on his face.

 

“Then come back to bed!”

 

Felicity couldn’t help but look back up at Oliver, who at least had the decency to wince.

 

“My apologies, sir. Enjoy the rest of your evening,” Felicity managed to choke out before she turned and walked away, leaving the mess behind her, not bothering to pick up the pieces.

 

“Felicity?” Diggle’s voice came through her earpiece.

 

“You were right, John. It was a mistake to leave the van. Agent Queen clearly had it handled.”

 

She ripped the earpiece out as she found a housekeeping closet, quickly ducking inside. The tears that had been building from the moment the door opened finally spilled out. She should have known better. The fantasy had gone on for too long and it was time to face the facts. Oliver was not her boyfriend, and tonight was another bitter reminder of that. The problem was, she wasn’t sure how many more times she could go through with this. Once was enough, considering it already felt like her heart was shattering into a million pieces.

 

She couldn’t wallow, though. She had to be stronger than that. Grabbing a clean towel off the shelf, she patted her face dry after cleaning off her glasses.

 

“You okay?” Diggle asked as she climbed into the van a few minutes later.

 

“I’m fine. Let’s go home.” Before Diggle could interject, Felicity continued, knowing Oliver would hear her. “He can find his own ride back.”

 

“Okay then.”

 

It was later, when Felicity was digging into a pint of mint chocolate chip, that she realized she had completely forgotten about the true purpose of the mission. Pulling out her tablet, she opened up her program to find that Oliver had, in fact, activated the listening device and it was already collecting audio. Having no interest in listening to the content of the audio herself, she left it in the hands of her algorithm. Diggle would surely forward anything pertinent on to General Steele.

 

“Felicity? Are you home?” Tommy yelled from the living room.

 

“In my room.”

 

“Hey,” Tommy said as he opened the door to Felicity’s room. “Laurel’s working late tonight. Wanna grab a bite? Just the two of us?”

 

Felicity held up her ice cream in reply.

 

“You started without me?” Tommy teased. “You’ve got a lot of nerve.”

 

Felicity just shrugged as she dug in for another bite.

 

“Hey,” he said, sitting beside her, concern evident on his face. “Is everything okay?”

 

No, Felicity thought with a snort. I caught my pretend boyfriend (who I wish was my real boyfriend) with another woman. But I couldn’t possibly tell you that because it’s a risk to national security. Because, oh yeah, I have government secrets embedded in my brain.

 

“Long day,” Felicity said instead. It pained her to not be able to talk to her brother like she wanted to, like she always had. They didn’t keep secrets from one another.

 

“How about we go to Angelo’s? Split a deep dish like the old days?”

 

“You drive a hard bargain, Thomas.”

 

“I try my best,” Tommy said with a grin as he collected the container and spoon from Felicity. “Now clean yourself up and meet me in the courtyard. And make it snappy! I’m starving.”

 

“Ugh! So demanding,” Felicity protested, the beginnings of a smile forming on her face. Her brother always knew just how to cheer her up. She pulled on her boots, grabbing her bag and a sweater before she made her way to the courtyard.

 

“Ready?” Felicity called out, her back to the fountain as she locked the door to their place.

 

“Change of plans,” Tommy replied.

 

“Huh?” Felicity turned around, confused. Oliver stood beside Tommy, hands in his pockets, shifting his weight back and forth.

 

“Can we talk?”

 

“And...that’s my cue,” Tommy said. “Felicity, how about I get the pizza to go and meet you back here?”

 

“Do you mind?”

 

“Not at all.” Tommy raised his eyebrows, asking Felicity the silent question of whether or not she would be okay.

 

Once Felicity nodded, Tommy made his way to the street, leaving Felicity alone with Oliver.

 

“I’m surprised to see you here. I could have sworn the Starling Grand had a late checkout policy.”

 

“Felicity…” Oliver shook his head.

 

“What, Oliver? Or should I say Nikolai? That is what she called you, right?”

 

Oliver hesitated for a moment. “You remember how I told you about my time undercover with the Bratva? Part of my assignment was staying close to Isabel.”

 

“Well, I’d say you succeeded there.”

 

“Felicity, it was just a part of the job. Nothing more.”

 

“What does ‘pateeshka’ mean, then?”

 

Oliver closed his eyes as he exhaled loudly. “Ptichka,” he said, Russian accent evident, “means birdie.”

 

“Cute.”

 

“Felicity, I--”

 

“Oliver, it’s fine. I got it. Just part of the job.”

 

“Felicity, I’m sorry if you thought...I’m sorry if this hurt you.”

 

“That’s the thing, Oliver. The longer we keep trying to fool people that we’re a real couple, the person I keep fooling the most is me. And I don’t want to live my life that way. I want more out of life.”

 

“What exactly are you saying?”

 

“I’m saying I think we should break up.”

 

Oliver took a step closer to Felicity. “Don’t you think that’s a little rash?”

 

“It’s not just because of tonight, Oliver. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I’m tired of putting my life on hold. It’s not fair to me.”

 

“It would be easier for our cover if we remain a couple.”

 

“I guess this means your job is going to be a little harder then,” Felicity shrugged. “Look, Oliver, it’s been a really long day. I’m going to call it a night. You’ll let me know if the audio flags anything you need me to flash on?” Oliver nodded. “Goodnight, Oliver.”

 

“Goodnight, Felicity.”

 

And with that, Felicity walked away, deciding once and for all that she was not going to let her feelings for Oliver hold her back any longer.

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