Chapter Text
Daffodil: A yellow trumpet-shaped spring flower. It's also known as Narcissus, named after the beautiful Greek youth who became one after he fell in love with his own reflection. Daffodils are often associated with rebirth and new beginnings.
.
.
.
Kieran White was a simple man.
Ever since he’d been a boy, he’d been told by others that he would grow into someone great. He’d been fortunate enough to be a member of a wealthy family and had the blessings of good looks, strength and intelligence (or so they said but you’d never hear him deny it). He could be anything he put his mind to: a doctor, a mathematician, an actor, a sports star, among others. He’d had so many options volleyed toward him in his youth that he’d forgotten most a long time ago.
But he’d never aspired for greatness, never felt the need to be more than he truly was, and he was an artist.
Not the kind that was commissioned to create larger than life portraits for the wealthy to fawn over. The gilded halls and static, artificial drudgery of it all held little appeal for him. No, his passion was for the everyday. The mundane. Moments of life captured in a few strokes of the charcoal. His subject of choice was Ardhalis and the colours were her people. His parents and their friends obviously thought this was all far below his status and potential, but he’d learned to tune them out long ago, focusing instead on trying to immortalise his city as he saw it.
Which was why he found himself sitting on a bench outside the main square almost every day, dressed in respectably shabby clothing, silently observing the hustle and bustle of city life and trying his best to capture it all.
Kieran’s eyes passed over the scene before him. It was spring in Ardhalis and the city had finally thawed after the long winter. Snow no longer coated the streets, the flowers had begun to bloom and the people no longer wore their heaviest coats to cope with the cold. He loved how the change in the seasons dictated the change in society. How, despite being in the middle of the city, they were still commanded by nature. There was a simplicity to it that he found satisfying.
It was still the people he found the most interesting to study though. They all went about their lives and partook in their daily routines, all completely unaware that they were being observed. He’d been at this spot long enough to recognise many of their faces: The Beggar, an old man with sad, tired eyes who’d often hold out his hat to pedestrians for coins that would pay for his meal that day. The Politician, fat and arrogant, who strutted about the streets as if he owned them, pompously believing himself to be above those around him. The Busker, a music student who played the violin for hours on end in exchange for a little more cash to go out at night. The Florist, with her pleasant smile as she tended to the roses and hyacinths as if they were her children. He’d come up with stories for all of them. He liked to think that he could learn about their lives just by watching them go about their days and committing them to paper forever.
By far his favourite person to observe though was The Officer.
She passed by him every day at 7:45 AM like clockwork, eyes always glued to the newspaper in her hands, making her way along the sidewalk and turning the corner without another thought. She’d only be there for a moment, her brisk gait made sure of that, but what little he’d seen of her had him more intrigued than anything else, though Kieran couldn’t exactly place why.
Physically, she was a remarkably lovely young woman. She was tall and slender but was clearly fit due to police training. Her striking auburn hair, always kept in a high ponytail, already made her stand out when compared to the other women around the square. Her skin, smooth and white as porcelain, always seemed to glow in the early morning light. But it was the confidence in her step that set her apart from the other lovely ladies of the city. The pride in herself and her profession. The trust she possessed in her own abilities to carry out her work. It practically radiated from her even though she kept her nose in the paper whenever he saw her. This confidence became even more apparent when, just a few weeks before, she’d walked by in a professional work suit and red coat rather than her standard navy patrol uniform.
Promoted, Kieran figured after a moment of being caught off guard. A capable officer with good enough deduction skills to be promoted to detective before even hitting 25. He should really start calling her the ‘The Detective’ but he’d already gotten so used to calling her ‘the Officer’ that it was difficult for him to change.
Still, despite all he’d observed of her so far, he felt like there was so much more he could learn if only he could get a proper look at her eyes. She never wore her mask when she walked by, after all she wouldn’t be on duty yet, but she always had her eyes trained so intently on that damn newspaper that he could never get a good enough look to see them or even guess their colour. He’d seen enough of her to make a few sketches but never got the full picture. The eyes were the windows to the soul after all. What more could he uncover about her when he finally caught a glimpse of them?
That, he’d decided, would be his mission for the day.
It was only 7:30, so he still had some time before he needed to look out for her. In the meantime, he busied himself with sketching the Bird Lady on the bench next to his own as she scattered breadcrumbs for the pigeons. He was in the middle of adding the finishing details to his sketch, quickly glancing up at the old woman once more, before he felt his heart stop for a moment. Because he’d seen a glimpse of that familiar ruby hair in the corner of his vision. His eyes darted back up and- yes, there she was, making her way along the pavement towards the corner. Dammit, she was early! He was on his feet before he even processed it, sketchbook tucked under his arm as he hurried after her retreating figure.
“Pardon me, Officer!” He called just as she was about to round the corner.
He saw her freeze and glance over her shoulder before folding her newspaper and hurrying over to him, her face serious yet earnest.
“Is there anything you need assistance with, Sir?” She inquired as they halted before one another. He would have responded, but he’d finally gotten a good look at those elusive eyes of hers.
Gold was the first word that came to mind. Gold and amber and honey.
It was at that moment he realized that he’d have to explain himself to the attractive detective he’d been casually observing for the past few months. He wasn’t stupid enough to try to fabricate something, it would be unwise to lie to an officer of the law. Still, he hadn’t been prepared to actually talk to her. This was going to be awkward, but Kieran was nothing if not an honest man, so he put on a shy smile and cleared his throat.
“Actually, there’s no emergency per se,” Kieran said, removing his tweed hat with one hand and scratching the back of his head with the other before replacing it. “It’s kind of embarrassing actually, but I just wanted to get a better look at your eyes.”
The look of shock on her face prompted him to continue rambling.
“Oh, that sounded like a pickup line didn’t it.” He muttered more to himself before looking back up at her. “Look, I’m an artist,” He gestured to his sketchbook, “I sit out here everyday and draw the people around the square. I try to understand their lives by watching them go about their days, but you’re always looking down at your newspaper so I could never really get a good idea of what you were really like and-.” He sighed, looking down at his feet. “’I’d understand if you don’t believe me though. It all sounds like a load of hogwash.”
She continued to regard him with those striking eyes for a moment before releasing a relieved sigh and offering a small understanding smile. “Oh don’t worry, I believe you.”
“Seriously?” He asked, not believing that his pathetic excuse actually worked.
“Seriously,” She responded, standing up a little straighter, “I’m a police officer after all. I’ve been trained to tell when people lie,” She gave a little shrug, looking off to the side. “Guess I’m just really good at it.”
“I suppose that would explain why you were promoted to detective.” He said before he could stop himself.
Her eyes darted back to him, wide as saucers, with a blush rapidly spreading across her cheeks, “How did you-?”
“Your uniform changed a few weeks ago from the usual patrol uniform and I just assumed. I swear I’m not a stalker or anything.” He explained, regretting his life choices more and more by the minute.
She studied him with that piercing gaze of hers once more. He’d rarely seen eyes of that colour in his time watching the other citizens. But the way that she focused squarely on him made him more self-conscious than anything, like she could figure out every secret he’d ever had with just a glance.
“That observant, are you?” She asked, sounding both curious and impressed. “How long have you been watching me exactly?”
Kieran let out a little laugh, still shocked that she actually believed him, “Oh don’t feel too special, darling. I watch everyone around here. I could probably tell you the life stories of all the people in this square. And to answer your question, Detective, only a few months.”
She huffed out a laugh herself before offering him a teasing grin, “With analytical skills like that you could easily make detective.”
His face twisted a little, “Eh, police work never sounded appealing to me. I prefer to be the silent observer who sees life as it is and commits it to paper without judgement, though there are some rather dubious things one ends up encountering in my line of work.”
She hummed in understanding before offering him a challenging glare. “Humour me then, Mister ‘Silent Observer’.”
He raised an intrigued eyebrow at her.
“Now that you’ve seen these ‘elusive eyes’ of mine,” She continued, “I’d like to know about what you can deduce about me now that you’ve gotten a look at the full picture.”
Kieran was taken aback at her boldness for a moment before smirking, “I may need a bit more time than that to figure you out. I can’t just know after only five minutes.”
“True,” She agreed, adjusting her ponytail, “But you’ve already got a couple months worth of information about me and my mannerisms to work with…” She paused in thought for a moment before her eyes lit up. “How about a first impression then?”
His grin widened before nodding. That he could do, “Alright Detective, I concede. You want to hear my first impression? Fine.”
He allowed his gaze to fall over her. She wore an almost smug expression now, as if she were daring him to fail.
Challenge accepted.
He cleared his throat, “First of all, I get the impression that you get a lot of comments about those pretty eyes of yours, and that you’re sick of hearing men prattle on about them.”
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. Jackpot.
He continued to roll with it, “I bet they use words like ‘critical’ or ‘thoughtful’ or-”
“Pensive.” She interrupted with a roll of her eyes.
“Hear that one a lot now do you?” He quipped.
A look of minor disgust washed over her face “You wouldn’t believe the number of bad dates that have ended because they bring up my ‘pensive eyes’.”
He shrugged, “No offense but I see what they mean.” The murderous look that flashed in her eyes in that moment prompted him to continue. “I’m not surprised though, given your profession. Can’t imagine what it’s like to have that pressure on your shoulders. You seem like the type who’d stop at nothing to solve a case even at the cost of your sleep, judging by those dark circles under your eyes anyways.”
The look of pure disbelief on her face was worth any prior embarrassment he may have endured before.
He continued, “You think I’d be a good detective? Well you’d probably give me a run for my money if you quit your job and became a street artist.”
That seemed to snap her out of her awe. Laughter bubbled out of her as if that was the funniest thing he’d said all day, “If I could draw anything other than stick figures maybe. Until that day, rest assured that your job is safe from me.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” He grinned, “I was just starting to enjoy this spot. I’d hate to have to leave and find a new one. That would be a real pain.”
“Speaking of leaving,” She said, glancing at the clocktower. It was 7:50 now, “I really should be heading to work now. It was nice chatting with you though Mister Silent Obser-”
“My name’s Kieran,” He interrupted, offering his hand. “Kieran White.”
She hesitated for a moment before nodding, taking his hand in hers and shaking it firmly, “Lauren Sinclair.”
“Well, Detective Sinclair, it’s been a pleasure. I’ll be able to give you my final impression soon. Until then you’ll have to live on without this very vital knowledge about yourself.”
Lauren giggled and raised the back of her hand to her forehead like a damsel in distress, “Oh the torture! What am I to do with my life then?”
“You’re a strong girl, you’ll survive.” He said, slowly stepping backwards. “Have a nice day Lauren.”
She mirrored his actions, waking backwards before saying: “You too… Kieran”
She said his name as if testing the feel of it on her lips before deciding she liked it.
And with that she was off, turning around and walking along her regular path before going around the corner, but not before glancing up at him once more with those remarkable eyes and rosy cheeks.
Kieran let out a breath he felt like he’d been holding from the moment he saw her walk by. He hadn’t felt this invigorated in a long time. How could he be even more interested in her than he had been before?
He hurried back over to his bench and opened his sketchbook, hastily flipping to a new page.
“Lauren Sinclair,” He murmured, trying to bring back the image of her face as if it weren’t already burned into his memory forever.
And with that he began to draw.
-
Lauren Sinclair had a problem.
A problem she’d never dealt with in all 22 years of her life. She was one of the youngest detectives the 11th Precinct had ever seen, had worked years to hone her analytical skills, had acquired enough combat training to take down even the most intimidating of foes and could even detect the lies of those around her.
So why was she so flustered over some random street artist?
Alright, she wasn’t exactly flustered. It’s just that it had been a long time since she’d been caught off guard like that, and by a man no less.
Kieran White. The man who’d been silently paying attention to her for months. The man who raced after her in the simple hope of catching a glimpse of her eyes. The man who went from awkward and endearing to witty and charming in the blink of an eye. The man who could read her like a book just by looking at her. The man who hadn't once lied to her.
She’d be lying if she said she didn’t find him interesting.
That interest only seemed to grow with each passing day. It had been just over a week since their first encounter, and ever since then her walk to work had become the most nerve wracking part of her day. Because everyday she made her way over to the square, anticipating his presence and everyday she was rewarded with the pressure of his azure gaze. She’d glance away from her newspaper and offer him an inquisitive look, as if to ask: ‘Is your assessment ready yet?’ And he’d just offer that smug grin of his and shake his head in a manner that just screamed: ‘Not yet Detective. Be patient’. It was both infuriating and invigorating at the same time, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to get him out of her head.
A hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality.
“Ren, you’re spacing out again. Are you alright?” Dylan asked, now leaning back into his café chair. The golden light of the afternoon shone through the windows and caught in his white hair like a beacon. She remembered that they were supposed to be catching up during one of their rare afternoons off.
“Sorry,” Lauren muttered, rubbing her eyes and taking another sip of her coffee. “I’ve had a lot on my mind recently.”
“Work got you stressed again?” He asked with an understanding look on his face. “I feel that. Med school has been a pain recently. I don’t know how I’m gonna survive another two years, not to mention residency.”
Lauren rolled her eyes, “Oh don’t give me that, you’ve worked harder than anyone else to get where you are.” She let her shoulders drop a little and looked out the window to the street, “But no, it’s not work.”
Dylan hummed, pausing for a moment before he spoke again, his tone mischievous. “Oh I see. You’re thinking about your boyfriend again aren’t you?”
She sighed in exasperation, resting her mug down a little harder that she should have. Not this again.
“I told you he’s not my boyfriend.” She groaned, rubbing her temples. “God I shouldn’t have even told you about him.”
“Like hell you should have!” He insisted in that teasing tone of his that never failed to rile her up. “Last time I saw you you were all blushy and embarrassed because some handsome artist said you were his muse.”
“Ok first of all,” She said, pointing an accusatory finger at him, “He never told me I was his muse, and secondly, I never told you that he was handsome.”
His smirk only grew at that, “Oh Lauren, I’ve known you long enough to be able to tell when you’re into a man, just like you can tell when people lie. But I also have a pair of working eyes and just so happened to pass through the square this afternoon on my way here.”
Horror spread through her like wildfire, “You didn’t.”
“Oh, I think we both know that I did.” He sighed dramatically, running a hand through his unruly platinum hair. “Amazing how few street artists are left in the city these days. Such a shame.”
“You didn’t talk to him or-!” She cried before he cut her off.
“Relax, I was only there to observe,” He assured her. “I doubt he even noticed me. He was too busy sketching a little girl playing with a dog.”
The mental image of that alone made her heart squeeze just a little because of course he’d draw little girls with their dogs.
“My point,” Dylan continued, leaning over the table to get more in her face, “Is that your artist is the definition of ‘Tall, Dark and Handsome’, and as a man who only likes women, I think that statement should speak volumes.”
She could feel her face beginning to heat up again. The thing was that she already knew he was good looking. She wasn’t blind after all. Kieran was a well built man: tall and lean, with broad shoulders and a wide chest which tapered down to a narrow waist. His inky black hair was long enough that it could be tied in a bun behind his head, but not long enough to prevent a few unruly strands from making their way into his eyes. He had a classically handsome face too, with high cheekbones, a strong jawline and eyes as deep and blue as the ocean in the summer.
The issue wasn’t that Kieran was handsome. The issue was that she found him attractive.
Lauren hadn’t been lying when she said that most of her dates end up going poorly. The men who she’d given chances to in the past were either pompous lying bastards who felt entitled to her attention or shy feeble boys who were intimidated by her presence. She’d decided years ago to put men on the back burner and focus on her career, and that had gotten her pretty far.
But now she’d met a man who was both respectful and engaging, and the novelty of it all had her feeling unsure of what her next move should be.
“Look Ren, I’m going to be real with you,” Dylan conceded, tone becoming more serious. “The truth is that I’ve been worried about you. We’ve all been worried about you. Your parents, Kym and Will, we’ve all been concerned. You’ve been so focused on your job that you’ve put everything else on hold. And look where that’s got on you, you’re a detective now! You’re exactly where you dreamed to be since we were children and we all couldn’t be more proud. But you’re still young and have so much more to look forward to. I haven’t seen you be this excited about anything other than your career in such a long time, and it’s all because of him. Hell, you’ve literally begun letting your hair down more.” He gestured to the loose hair which fell past her shoulders and framed her face. “I’m telling you this because I’m your friend and I care about you: you need to begin living your life again and you should start by taking a chance on him.”
Lauren was completely taken aback by the frankness and the sincerity in his voice. But then a small smile began to spread across her face, and she understood. There was a reason Dylan Rosenthal was one of her best friends.
“Thanks,” Lauren finally responded, golden eyes meeting his grey ones. “I think I needed to hear that.”
“Good, I’m glad.” He said, smile genuine and supportive, before he leaned over the table once more, hand cupped around his mouth as if to tell her a secret. “Besides, if he does turn out to be a bastard, it’s more than justified for you to kick his ass.”
They both burst into laughter at that and continued to chat even as the sun began to dip below the horizon.
-
And so, Lauren Sinclair found herself following her usual path to work the next morning, purchasing her daily newspaper and reading the headlines just like she always did. Except no, it was nothing like her usual morning, because unlike every other commute to work she’d ever taken, now she was preparing to ask a charming young street artist to grab coffee with her.
She wasn’t nervous to ask him per se, she’d be a pretty lousy detective if she were to pussyfoot around an issue rather than just biting the bullet, but she was still worried that she’d misread the signs somehow. Yes, he seemed to be interested in her, more interested than the other people he’d drawn in the past anyways, and yes they did seem to have this unspoken thing going on between them since that fateful day, but she still didn’t really know him. She didn’t know if he did this with all the girls who walked by him in the square or if this was a simple flirtation to him and nothing more. He might have even been like this with all of his ‘more elusive’ subjects, with his interest in her being strictly for his craft. Their one conversation didn’t really give her much to go off of in that regard.
Perhaps it was her lack of experience with good men that had her a little paranoid. No matter how perfect they may have initially appeared, they’d all been rotten in the end. So now, as she was faced with a seemingly good man for the first time in years, there was a part of her that believed that this was all good to be true. That he was too good to be true.
Nevertheless she continued on her way, determined to see this through and shoot her shot no matter the potential consequences. Dylan was right, she needed to begin living again, and even if it didn’t work out it was at least a step in the right direction.
It was a beautiful morning; the sky was clear and blue, allowing the sun to shine bright and warm over Ardhalis. More people crowded around the square than usual, taking advantage of the warm weather and sunshine. Lauren had to squeeze her way around other pedestrians just to keep along her regular route. She began to wonder whether or not Kieran would be in his usual spot since the crowds would obscure his view from the bench.
Sure enough, as she made her way over to that now familiar bench, she found it to be conspicuously unoccupied. She halted in her tracks, eyes glued to the empty seat. It was odd for her to look down and not see Kieran sitting there, flashing her that grin that was equal parts cheeky and genuine. Disappointment began to rise inside her before she quickly quelled it and began to search, eyes darting around the square. He’d said himself that this was his preferred drawing spot. He was bound to be around there somewhere. She just had to look-.
“You wouldn’t happen to be looking for me, would you Detective?” A suave voice whispered from behind.
Lauren startled and spun around, suddenly caught in the gaze of two very blue and amused looking eyes.
Kieran White stood before her, all tall and broad, smirk smeared across his face, clothes much like the ones he usually wore, sans his usual tweed hat and thick coat. In the week since they’d last spoken she’d almost forgotten the timbre of his voice; low and smooth.
It took a second for her to recover before retorting, “I thought you may have been caught up in all this commotion. May have needed to file a missing persons report.”
That only made his grin widen, “I’m flattered that a detective of your calibre would take the time to search for a poor lowly artist such as myself.”
So he's not some starving artist, she realised, hearing the lie the moment it escaped his lips. She quickly compartmentalised that new information as something to think about later, a small detail within the wider truths he’d already told her. Interesting though.
“But that’s beside the point.” He continued, raising a finger up for emphasis. “We have business to discuss.”
“Business?” Lauren asked, not following.
His eyes widened in mock offense, “You didn’t forget about my assessment now did you Lauren?” He winced, pressing a hand to his chest, “You wound me.”
Right, his assessment. That had completely slipped her mind.
“And what exactly have you concluded about me now?” she asked, suddenly intrigued.
“That’s the thing,” He said dramatically, looking down and holding his chin as if in deep thought, “I’ve been puzzling over for you all week now Lauren Sinclair, but you’re an enigma. I simply cannot get a good idea for your character by just watching you walk by for a few seconds a day.”
She huffed a disbelieving laugh. Was he serious? “That’s it? All that talk and you’re just gonna give up?”
His gaze turned back on her in an instant, eyes bright with mirth, “On the contrary, this has made me more determined than ever to figure you out. This is the first time I’ve been faced with this kind of situation, and that simply cannot stand.”
He took a step forward, not exactly coming into her space, but making his height and presence more profound. “Which is why, starting today, I think we should spend more time together.”
That was the last thing Lauren expected to hear.
“...More time together?” She asked tentatively.
“Yes,” Kieran smiled, regarding her shocked expression for a moment before continuing, sounding slightly off kilter now. “You know… maybe we could walk in the park after your shift and enjoy this lovely weather, or grab lunch on your break, or coffee or whatever else that works for you really.”
Lauren was still staring at him like he’d grown another head. All her previous reservations began to fade away and the realisation hit her.
“Just to be clear,” She said, “You want to go on a date with me?”
It was his turn to gawk at her now. “Well I’d actually hoped it would be more than just one date. I thought I’d made that rather obvious beforehand...” He began looking off to the side and running a hand through his hair.
He’s nervous, she realized, remembering that gesture from the day they met. He’s nervous and unsure about this whole thing just like I was.
“Look,” He muttered, finally meeting her eyes once more, “I’m sorry if I got the wrong impression from you about all of this. Believe me, my last intention was to make you feel uncomfortable or anything like that. Forget I ever said anything. I’ll go back to drawing and we can just be friends or whatever. That’s fine with me. I bet you’re also busy with work anywa-”
“I’d love to.” She interrupted before he could say anymore endearing lies.
That stopped his rambling right in its tracks, expression more dumbfounded than she’d ever seen it before.
“Really?” He asked, still sounding unsure, “Because if you really don’t want to I completely understand-”
“No I want to!” Lauren insisted, taking a frantic step toward him, “Actually I-” She sighed, feeling heat rise in her face, “I was actually going to ask you to go grab coffee today.”
A look of complete and utter awe spread across Kieran’s face as he gaped at her, blue eyes shining with indistinguishable emotion. The tense silence stretched on between them as he processed her words.
“You know,” She continued, trying and failing to make the situation less awkward, “This back and forth between us has been fun and… I thought maybe it’d be nice to do something together but I wasn’t really sure how you really felt and-”
“So what you’re saying,” He said, cutting off her rambling, expression completely serious, “Is that we’re both idiots.”
For a moment the silence continued but then the tension snapped. Next thing Lauren knew they were both laughing their heads off, doubled over and practically howling. They were attracting the stares of many of the other passersby, but Lauren couldn’t bring herself to care because all of this was just ridiculous.
It was some time later before she finally took a few deep breaths in an effort to regain her composure.
“I guess we are.” She breathed, still short of breath
Kieran finally suppressed the laughter, wiping some stray tears from under his eyes. He sighed, “And to think that our combined ‘analytical’ skills were useless in a situation like this.”
“Guess that’s something we’ll have to work on then.” She shrugged, “Let’s start today. How about we meet for coffee at that cafe near the 11th Precinct? My shift ends at five.”
His grin went from simple to sly in an instant before he took her hand, brought it to his lips and pressed a warm kiss on the back.
“It’s a date.” He murmured, his bright blue gaze as captivating as ever.
Lauren snorted, “How are you still able to put on this whole ‘charming’ act when just minutes ago you were all flustered and rambling?”
He gasped, smirk widening, “Oh I’m the flustered one now? I wasn’t the one who turned red as a beet there Detective.”
She rolled her eyes, pulling her hand away, “As much as I would love to continue debating with you about all this, I do have a job to get to.”
“Right,” He said, putting his hands into his pockets, “We’ll continue this later. Don’t forget about me now, you’ll wound my ego even more!”
“I would never,” She said before turning and walking away, waving over her shoulder. “See you at five!”
“See you at five Detective!” He called after her.
Lauren stopped once she rounded the corner and leaned back against the exposed red brick wall. A sigh of both disbelief and amusement escaped her lips. That hadn’t gone how she’d anticipated at all, but she almost prefered it that way. Kieran White proved to be more fascinating than she realized.
She snuck a quick glance around the corner before she could stop herself, watching as Kieran, completely unaware of her presence, raised both his hands above his head in triumph before collapsing into his bench, leaning his head back and covering his face with his hands.
A warm buzz spread through her chest and stomach, filling her with anticipation and delight.
Lord, She wondered, what have I gotten myself into?